


Ballum UnScene

by Whirlygig95



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2021-04-09
Packaged: 2021-04-11 19:01:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 361
Words: 291,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21570439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whirlygig95/pseuds/Whirlygig95
Summary: The title’s a play on words. This is imagined Ballum-related scenes that take place around those screened. Fillers for when the boys are absent from our screens, contemplating what they might be getting up to, or interpretations of what wider motivation was behind the existing scenes. It’s my attempt to tie up loose ends, deal with plot anomalies & generally try to work out how disparate scenes could have linked.Wher possible, I reference the scene each chapter follows on from, often quoting one of the characters’ final lines from that scene as an aide-memoire. I will stay largely true to canon, although on the odd occasion may misrepresent the true order scene were played out in where that would suit my narrative better!The explicit rating is there to cover those chapters depicting sexual content - while not frequent, these do exist where I feel Ballum's sexual relationship has something to add to their narrative. I always give a warning of sexual content ahead of any chapter containing it, so those of a more sensitive nature can skip past it if they prefer.Comments, thoughts & musings are all welcome!
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 1373
Kudos: 1753





	1. Chapter 1

## Scene continuation from episode of 27/09/19 (Set in the Mitchell family kitchen)

  
“You are gonna work your way through this, you know…” Ben puckered a compassionate kiss to Callum’s shoulder, while the object of his unwavering encouragement stooped to bury his head into Ben’s right collarbone, nestling his face in its nook to smother the onset of his tears. Ben remained still & stoic, calmly caressing Callum’s back until confident his tears had fully subsided.  
“Stay for a coffee, yeah?” Ben gently, expertly even, manoeuvred Callum from his person, drawing out a chair from the kitchen table for him to sit on.  
“Yeah,” Callum consented with a hushed sniff as his lower half folded down onto the chair. “Sweet & milky for me…” he proffered distractedly.  


The obvious sexual connotation of the preference Callum had declared wasn’t lost on Ben, but for once in his life he stifled the incendiary quip on the tip of his tongue. Luckily for him, his back was already turned from Callum’s direction as he filled the kettle, so biting his preferred response down was easier than it might usually have been.

Silence ensued between the two men as Ben busied himself in his task, while Callum’s unease at his own latest display of emotion meant his downturned eyes were undertaking an extensive exploration of the grains of wood that made up the kitchen table. His head slumped in his hands, as if to further emphasise his embarrassment.

“One coffee sir…” Ben placed a steaming mug of caffeine in front of Callum & took up his own position at the table, some 90 degrees around the clockface from his visitor.  
“What’s this?” Roused from his reverie, Callum took one look at the mug in front of him & pushed it away.  
“Dark & strong, just how I like it…” Ben responded with a whimsical wink.  
“I asked for it milky,” Callum entreated, leaving Ben with little option but to stifle the latest double entendre that came to mind by momentarily biting down on his own knuckles.  
“I reckon the stronger the better for you right now, don’t you?” Ben pushed the mug back in Callum’s direction while extolling the virtues of black coffee for fending off his companion’s impending hangover.

With all the reluctance of a child accepting a spoonful of medicine, Callum took a sip from the mug, wincing against both its contents’ scalding heat & bitterness. “That is pure filth,” he lamented, but didn’t relent in taking a further sip.  
“Always glad to be of service,” Ben smirked, leaning back in his chair & casually draping his right arm across it as he took in the sight before him. “Come on Callum, work with me here…”

Callum ran a hand roughly against his own carefully sculpted hair. The gel that had been applied to it freshly at first light now forming a firm crust against his locks. All at once he pined for a shower to wash the residue of the day from him. “Go on then; you like to think you have all the answers, so you tell me…How do I do it?”  
“Do what?” Ben queried softly.  
“How do I learn to enjoy myself?” Callum beseeched earnestly. “Cos it feels like every time I open myself up to somethin’ good, hot on its heels all that follows is more grief…”

Ben puffed out his cheeks & rubbed his right hand at the corner of his eye, before reaching along the table to stroke his forefinger along Callum’s hand. “I’m gonna try really hard not to take any personal offence at that for now…” The Ben Mitchell ego was fully intact as ever. “In all seriousness though, I don’t think enjoyment is somethin’ you can learn. It either happens or it don’t…”

The subtle rhythmic touch from Ben’s finger was enough already to remind Callum of the last time he had truly enjoyed himself, during their shared night of instinctive passion in the park. He swallowed down another sip of the bitter coffee to quell the Interesting though, Ben noted to himself, that Phil was apparently aware of Callum's presence in the house. _How could that be, when Ben had retained full sight of the interlocking kitchen door throughout - he would have noticed any unwanted presence within their vicinity. Unless, Phil had happened upon the kitchen as Callum kissed Ben. That had been the only time he'd lost himself, for a few brief seconds...In which case, Phil had at least acquiesced in part to their union, if not exactly given it his actual blessing. Perhaps there was hope for the future after all..._

Ben roused from his reverie to find Callum engaging him in a curious expression. Was this Callum reacting awkwardly to what Sharon might or might not be reading into his presence, or was this Callum still seeking an answer from Ben to the question he'd just posed? Ben couldn't tell either way, but knew the silence in the room was becoming ridiculous, so he turned to briefly address the third party now there. "Busy day then Sharon?"  
"Always busy," she confirmed amiably enough as she waited for the cold tap to run to a cooler temperature. "How about you boys; Callum?"

Callum seemed stunned to even be invited into the conversation, so initially stumbled over his words. "I, um, yeah, yeah...busy day today. There's rarely a quiet day in the world of funerals to be honest". His face flushed slightly at the contradiction in his words. As Sharon continued to engage him in idle chit-chat that he visibly relaxed in to, he failed to instantly notice that beneath the table Ben's shoeless foot had crept across to meet his leg, & was now rubbing slowly up & down his calf; Callum almost startling with a judder as he felt Ben's foot sneak under the hem of his trouser leg, & his individual toes begin nuzzling against his skin. His widening eyes met Ben's mischievous glint directed at him from across the table, as all the while Callum concentrated hard on maintaining the composure in his conversation. "Yeah, absolutely Sharon..." he agreed to her latest assertion, suddenly not even clear on what he was agreeing with.

"Anyway, I'll leave you boys to it". Having obtained her glass of water, Sharon retreated from the room with no further fanfare, apparently oblivious to Ben's antics, or the flushing effect they were having on Callum.

"Does that answer your question?" Ben enquired lightly, leaning his weight forward on the table, in Callum's direction.  
"Yeah, yeah I think it does," Callum sputtered out an almost choked reply. How could such a simple act be having this great an effect on him?  
"On which note," Ben's foot left Callum's leg as swiftly as it had first appeared, & he stood up to move towards his guest. "I think we should be getting you to bed, don't you?"

Callum looked up at Ben through amazed eyes. "Uh..."  
"Steady down there soldier," Ben teased. "I mean your own bed, not mine". He was privately thrilled though at the response he had unleashed. "You need to sleep this evening's effects off".  
"Course, yeah," Callum mustered in embarrassment, rising to his feet & making towards the door, which Ben was now opening for him.

"Cal," Ben reached out for his upper arm as Callum made his exit past him, turning the taller man back so they were again face to face. Reaching his left hand up to cup Callum's cheek, Ben extended onto tiptoes to deliver a delicate, slow & heartfelt kiss to his lips.  
"Sleep tight," Ben implored tenderly, as he steadily withdrew, keeping his softened gaze locked on Callum's.  
"D'ya know what?" Callum shrugged sheepishly, an enthusiastic grin sweeping over his features. "I reckon I just might".

It was the first time Ben had seen him smile all evening. God had he missed that infectious grin.


	2. Chapter 2

## Narrative continuation from scenes aired on 30/09/19

It, or more specifically they, had been chip, chip, chipping away at Ben all day. Not at his ego you understand - it was rare for that to be dented - but more at the faith he had in himself to be the man Callum wanted him to be. The man he needed him to be. 

It had started early on in the day, from Callum himself no less: the query as to why Ben hadn't responded to his texts. Ben had, of course, shrugged it off as complacency; in truth though, he was already fretful over Callum's near dependency on him. Even so, Ben had been powerless to turn him down 

Then had come Ian, belittling Ben's string of one-night stands & questioning just how long it would be until Callum was just another notch on his bed post. Coming from his own brother - half brother - that had hurt.

Stuart had been the final straw. Ben would suffer his heterosexual posturing for Callum's sake - take the occasional beating even - but his mention of Paul had been below the belt. He'd been ready to deck him, but Stuart's sentiments had ultimately floored Ben: "I don't want that for my brother; do you?"  
Ben still agonised daily that his own actions had seen Paul killed - always mouthing off, shrugging off his then boyfriend's efforts at imploring him to walk away - how different it could have been if he'd only done as he'd asked. 

Stuart was right - Ben couldn't, wouldn't bear a similar fate for Callum. At 3pm & at the end of his tether, Ben knocked incessantly on Jay's door.  
"Alright...alright; where's the fire?" Jay answered his door in a state of partial undress: shirt hanging out from his trousers; tie loose around his neck.  
"Bruv?" he addressed Ben curiously.  
"Time for a bevvie?" Ben queried, holding out a recently purchased 4-pack of lager.  
"Bit early for me," Jay shrugged. "Besides, I've got a meeting with a client at 4pm, so technically I'm still on duty".  
"Well you won't mind if I do.. " Ben asserted, shoving his way past Jay, already tugging at the ring pull on the first of the cans.  
"Please, be my guest..." Jay uttered into thin air, as he watched Ben disappear into his kitchen.

Jay followed on like a puppy loyal to his master. "So are ya planning on telling me what's wrong?" He turned the corner to find Ben already slumped down in a chair, apparently hellbent on downing the can in one. No answer was forthcoming, so he pressed again. "Cos Callum's spent the entire day so far glancing at his watch every 5 minutes or so, apparently on countdown to some hot date tonight, which I'm guessing is wiv you? He's some sort of messed up mix of a cat on a hot tin roof & a badger with a flea up its arse".

"Argh," Ben grumbled, slamming the can down in disdain, slumping his elbows to the table & running his hands roughly through his hair. He too should be on that countdown to their first date, quelling that excitable jumble of nervous butterflies in his stomach. Instead, all he felt was sick to his core. "I need you to come tonight". It was an assertion, but one not delivered with his usual brash confidence; it came out as more of a plea.

"Nah, no way; I ain't nobody's gooseberry," Jay protested, pulling out a chair opposite & resigning himself to sitting on it. This, he suspected, might take some time.   
"Bring Lo along too," Ben pressed, this time lifting his eye's to meet his brother's. "Less of a gooseberry, more of a..."  
"Inappropriate double date?" Jay intercepted cynically.  
"Distraction," Ben ignored Jay's interception, instead finishing his own statement.

"Bruv," Jay leant forward a little. "I reckon Callum's hopin' he'll be all the distraction you could ever want tonight".  
Ben linked his hands together in front of him & chewed down nervously against a knuckle, but said nothing.  
"Jeez, he's bought a new shirt & everything," Jay implored. "He's over the road at this vey moment, anticipating you & him having a bit of solo time . It's gonna be one mighty anti-climax if he walks in to find the three of us waiting for him. Ya know: his date for the night, the brother of his date for the night, who also incidentally happens to be his boss, & the mother of his date's child, just to round if all off nicely. It's enough to put anyone off their stroke".

"Maybe that's what I'm aiming for..." Ben engaged him in a challenging stare.  
Jay sighed. "It's a date man, not a flippin' power struggle!" He then grimaced as he gave further consideration his own words. "Oh god no, please don't try to involve me in one of your little role play fantasies..."  
"It ain't like that," Ben grumbled forcefully.   
"So what is it like then? Cos from where I'm sitting all you're doing is setting Callum up to be hurt, & that just ain't fair..."  
Ben shrugged. "I'll hurt him eventually anyway, so I might as well get on with it from the outset". He snatched open the ring pull on a second of the lager cans.

"Well there's no point me tryin' to talk to you when you're like this," Jay lamented angrily, rising to his feet. "I've gotta get back to work, but I assume you're staying here to drown your sorrows?"  
"Depends," Ben bartered cannily.   
"On what?" Jay seized the unlikely olive branch.  
"On if you say you'll come tonight..." 

The two men locked their eyes in a tussle, neither comfortable with backing down. After an extended period of gruff silence, Jay relented. "Alright, I'll come & I'll bring Lola along too. But let's be clear now, the only reasons I'm doing it are to stop you drinking yourself into oblivion here & now, & to be some support to Callum. He don't deserve to get hurt".  
"But what, I do?" Ben challenged aggressively. "Why is it that I'm the big bad wolf whenever I even so much think of hurting someone, but it's a free-for-all when it comes to hurting me? Line up, line up to take a free pop at the queer".

Jay shook his head; there was simply no point in engaging with Ben any further when he was being so over dramatic. "Make sure you lock the door on your way out..."


	3. Chapter 3

## Narrative continuation from Ballum failed date of 30/09/19

"Has Ben really just done that?" Lola railed incredulously, looking on with saddened eyes as she watched Callum retreat from the bar, his shoulders slumped & his stride lethargic.  
"'Fraid so," Jay confirmed, slipping an arm of comfort around her waist. Sadly, none of what had just taken place had come as a great surprise to him given Ben's mood of defiance earlier that afternoon. "Come on, let's get out of here & go for a drink down the Vic instead". His arm moved steadily to slip his hand into hers.  
"Ain't you gonna try talking some sense into him?" she entreated.  
Jay shrugged. "What even is the point?"

She withdrew her hand from his, pointing her finger assertively against his chest. "The point is, Jay, that he's just ripped Callum's heart out & trampled all over it. After all he's been through - after all they've been through - to get this far. He's your brother, so you need to sort him out".  
Jay rubbed a forlorn hand across his weary brow. "I've tried Lo; really I've tried..."  
"Well not hard enough, clearly. Are you really going to leave this for me to sort?" she huffed impatiently.  
"I don't think there's much..." he began to protest to his girlfriend that Ben, for this evening at least, was a cause lost to them, but those were clearly words she didn't want to hear. With a disbelieving shake of her head, she turned away from Jay & began her march towards Ben, who had returned his attention to his newly-acquired conquest across the bar.

\- - -

Callum hadn't known where his feet were taking him. He just craved the cool, fresh air of the evening to clear his head. Clear the jumble of thoughts & feelings raging within. He'd been looking forward to this first date with Ben for so long. Longer than he dared to admit to himself, let alone anyone else. They'd skirted & flirted around when this milestone would take place ever since Ben had proposed it from his hospital bed, & today had finally been the day it was happening.

When Callum had seen Ben in the Square first thing this morning, he’d resolved to seize the moment. Still awkward about his self-pitying appearance at the man’s kitchen door a few nights previously, he’d wanted to make amends, even if Ben’s actions that evening had suggested none were needed. 

Callum couldn’t deny the warmth that had flooded through his body as Ben had agreed to their date this very evening. Even after they’d parted, Callum had been powerless to stop himself stealing another glance at his beau, fondly looking on as he interacted with Lexi & Lola. He’d been caught in the act of his observation, of course, but Ben’s expression had simply demonstrated a delight at being beheld. There was no suggestion then, in those bedazzling eyes, that Ben was prospecting their date with any less anticipation than Callum was.

He slumped down on the park bench & began to search his soul for why, within the space of just a few short hours, those eyes of Ben's that had earlier radiated warmth & longing for their date with destiny, had this evening shown Callum only distance & disdain.

\- - -  
"Ahem," Lola loudly cleared her throat to announce her presence.  
Ben cast a sideways glance in her direction, although not troubling to disengage his lips from those of his conquest. Eventually he pulled apart from his companion, pausing the moment by holding a finger to his lips. It was though very much a pause rather than a full stop in his mind.

"We're kind of in the middle of something here Lo..." Ben chastised gruffly. "I have the grace not to interrupt any moments between you & Jay, so I would at least expect a similar courtesy..." With no further fanfare, he withdrew his finger & returned his lips to those of his distraction.

Lola shot a black look at Jay, who had emerged at her shoulder, then asserted her authority again.  
"Ouch," Ben recoiled from the lips of his conquest, reacting to the sharp pain of Lola's fingernails in his ribs. "What the hell did you do that for?"

Lola glared at him with total disappointment. "Why'd'you reckon Cassanova?" She briefly turned her attention to his latest acquisition. "If you don't mind, I need a few words with the father of my child, so scoot".  
The man until recently in receipt of Ben's thorough attention appeared bemused, looking between the two of them. "Well I do need a wazz, as it happens, so I can afford you with a couple of minutes..." Wondering precisely what had just come between him & his bar-side hook up, he made his reluctant retreat.  
Ben watched on with lustful eyes until he disappeared from view.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at Ben? Lola cursed with incendiary force.  
Ben responded with a patronising smirk. "Well Lo, you know when two people love each other very much they..."  
His words were cut short by her fury. "This ain't love Ben," she pointed in the vague direction in which his conquest had retreated. "It ain't even lust. It's just you trying to gain one upmanship. Anything rather than admit to your actual feelings..."  
He shrugged her concerns away having barely heard them, let alone listened to them. "I don't have feelings, remember? I'm a Mitchell". In demonstration of his disdain, he reached for the remainder of his pint & downed it.

"You know what Ben," she retaliated abruptly. "I don't even know why I'm bothering. Do what you want, just stop dragging others into your sordid world. Callum deserves better than this, so does Lexi".  
With that she turned abruptly on her heels. Jay hesitated for a second, briefly resting a hand on his brother's arm. "Rein it in yeah Ben, we all know this isn't you..."  
For the most fleeting of seconds, Ben threatened to respond in the affirmative, before Lola's shrill call took over the moment. "Come on Jay; we're leaving".

\- - -

Callum came back to his senses with a loud sniff, surprised to find a lone tear streaking its erratic way down his cheek. He'd no recollection as to how long he'd been seated here on the bench, or even of what thoughts had preoccupied his mind. He knew why he'd been drawn to this location though; it was his & Ben's place; the place Callum had finally admitted who he truly was. 

The chemistry between them that night had been electric; the want in them so primal. Under the beaming intensity of Ben's gaze, Callum thought he had finally found himself. With Ben's gaze having withdrawn its focus so bluntly this evening, Callum had to question who he really was; - really wanted to be - all over again. With shoulders slumped & eyes rooted to the floor, he reluctantly stood up & trudged his way home.

\- - -

Ben kicked a discarded can that was in his path into touch. Having dismissed the attentions of his night's potential hook up at the Albert, he'd skulked his way out of the bar, into the harsh chill of the night air. There was an inevitability to where he'd end up; the place that intrinsically linked the ghosts of his past with the confusion of his present.  
Paul, the everything of his past; Callum, the all-consuming distraction of his present.  
Paul, the one whose demise Ben still held such guilt over; Callum, the one he couldn't bear the thought of ever succumbing to a similar fate.

Ben collapsed down on the park bench & slammed a punishing fist into it, wincing at the resulting burst of pain that shot through his body. That was for Paul, the soul he hadn't been able to save, & Callum, the soul he would do all in his power to protect. Both of them were better off without him.


	4. Chapter 4

  
CHAPTER 4

## Narrative continuation of Ballum failed date 30/09/19

Callum scuffed his way into the funeral parlour the next morning & slumped down heavily onto a chair, causing Jay to look up & survey him through concerned eyes. "Ben's my brother, so I reckon I'm fully qualified to say he just ain't worth your grief," he offered to his colleague compassionately.  
Callum raised his eyes to the ceiling, but said nothing.  
"He goes rogue on all of us from time to time, if that's any consolation," Jay continued. "But that don't make what he did to you last night excusable in any way..."

"It ain't Ben whose to blame in any of this," Callum shook his head in dismissal.   
"Look Cal," Jay began to interject. "I admire your loyalty to him, really I do but..."  
"My brother got to him," Callum interrupted. "Said somethin' - god knows what - that got into his head..."

Jay rubbed at his head wearily. "What d'ya mean"?  
"Stuart admitted it to me this mornin'; he warned Ben off from me..."  
Something in the explanation he was hearing wasn't quite ringing true for Jay. but he continued to listen. Ben would normally directly rebel against someone trying to deter him rather than heed any warning.

"Ben's shutting me out now," Callum lamented, regret plain in his voice. "I went to see him first thing, tried to talk it through. He's completely denying there was ever anythin' really there between us". He expelled a despondent sigh. "I just don't get it..."  
Jay slid upwards from his chair. "You & me both pal," he slapped an apologetic arm to his shoulder. "You & me both. Hold the fort for me will ya? I need to pop out & see a man about a dog..."

\---

Ben looked up from his desk & scowled an acknowledgement that Jay had just entered the Car Lot portacabin. "Jeez, one more visit from the men in black in 'ere today & the punters are gonna be thinkin' someone's died," he quipped, alluding to the fact that Callum had already been through the door that morning. He rasped a breath loudly through his teeth. "Not exactly great for business..."

"An' what, you reckon lover boy tearin' himself to pieces over the road in the parlour is brilliant for my business do ya?" Jay countered instantaneously, drawing out a chair to sit opposite his brother.   
Ben rolled his eyes but offered no further comment.

"So come on then, what did Callum's brother say to get inside yer head?"  
"No-one's said anything," Ben snarled. "I don't let people inside my head; only inside my pants when I'm bored..."  
"Will you give it a rest," Jay huffed impatiently. "We both know what this is really about, & you need to admit it to yourself first & preferably then to Callum as well".

Ben's face soured with disapproval & he shook his head. "Where has everyone got this idea from that Callum is anything more to me than any other hook up?"  
"Because he's got under your skin, ain’t he?”   
“Has not,” Ben continued defiantly.  
“Has so,” Jay countered. “Now do you wanna do this the easy way & talk this through with me now, or the hard way with Lola later? Cos she is gunning for you, don’t be in any doubt about that…”

Ben expelled a loud huff of frustration, knowing this was an argument he couldn’t win.  
“Good man,” Jay congratulated him while shuffling his chair in closer to the desk. “So, ya gonna tell me what this is all really about?”

Ben’s nostrils twitched in demonstration of his obvious discomfort at the conversation he was about to have. “He’s too precious…” he began quietly.  
“Callum, precious?” Jay queried his understanding. “Nah, he’s the least high maintenance person I know…Salt of the earth, complete open book…”  
“I mean he’s too precious to me…” Ben clarified with a brief flush of embarrassment. 

“Jeez,” Jay leant back in his chair as he sought to take in what he was being told. “You’ve got it bad, ain’t ya?” He tapped an impatient finger on the desk. “And have you told him that?”  
“Not in so many words,” Ben squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.  
“As in you ain’t told him anything as sincere as that at all, have ya? You’ve just fobbed him off with some half-baked excuse that’s left him feelin’ like a piece of dirt on your shoe…”

Ben raised a dismissive palm to the air. “All I am tryin’ to do is protect him…”  
“You sure you ain’t just tryin’ to protect yourself?” Jay immediately countered, already recognising Ben’s emotional shutters trying to close in front of him.  
The other man’s eyes dropped to the floor, as he focused intently on a fading scar on his hand. “I’m tryin’ to protect both of us…”

“From what?” Jay’s brow began to furrow.  
“History repeating itself…” Ben’s fingers crept to the ring on his left hand, which he began to fiddle with.   
Jay softened his tone markedly. “Is that what this is all about: Paul?”  
A shrug of the shoulders was offered with no further response.  
“Callum ain’t Paul, ya know,” Jay continued cautiously, receiving a huff of disapproval from his brother. “I don’t reckon he wants you to protect him; I reckon he wants you to stand shoulder to shoulder with him. He’s stronger than you give him credit for…”

“Which is why he’s still standing with one foot in the closet?” Ben scoffed incredulously.  
Jay gave a disappointed shake of his head. “Is it really any wonder, with all the mixed signals he’s gettin’ from you?”  
That assertion riled Ben, who pointed an accusatory finger at his brother; he didn’t like the insinuation he was a prick tease. “Do not even go there”.   
“Alright, I’m sorry,” Jay instantly backed down, knowing that an angry Ben was a closed off Ben. “He came to confront you this mornin’ though didn’t he; that must of taken some guts, after the way you treated him last night…”

“Perhaps,” Ben’s aggressive posture relented a little.   
Jay had seen & heard enough; his mind was made up. “Just do me two favours yeah bruv?” He requested, while rising to his feet.  
“I’m listenin’,” Ben acquiesced cautiously.  
“Next time you see Callum try treatin’ him as an equal, instead of tryin’ to preserve his innocence,,,”  
Ben received that suggestion with an expression of utter bemusement. “And favour number two?” he prompted impatiently.   
“Well I don’t reckon either of us are destined to get much work done today, so how about we knock off at lunchtime & head to the Vic for a few bevvies?  
Ben nodded in silent agreement & watched on impassively as Jay took his leave.

Once outside & outside of earshot, Jay swiftly fumbled for his phone in his jacket pocket. “Lo? Yeah, yeah I’ve caught up with him. I’m gonna make sure he’s in the Vic at lunchtime, so maybe you can do the same with Callum? Make sure you wind him up a bit yeah; he needs to come at Ben with his full determined fighting spirit…Assuming that’s in him somewhere…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't lie, I dislike this chapter vehemently - just don't think it works & definitely not up to standard.
> 
> I just can't make it any stronger though, so I'm taking the Ben Mitchell approach - take the short, sharp shock of getting it over with as quick as possible. We can then move on swiftly to the happier place of a flow of chapters I think are much better written...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention: sometimes I might write a scene that was actually screened, but write it from another character's perspective, or put a different spin on proceedings.
> 
> Some scenes are just too seminal to Ballum to not revisit them.

## Scene continuation of 01/10/19 (Set in the Queen Vic)

_“Ben Michell; will ya go out with me…And I’m not doin’ the filin’ on my own any more Jay, you need to start helpin; out as well. Yes or No?”  
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud Ben; just go out with him, will ya?”_

Ben continued to process the question that had just been asked of him for what felt, not just to Callum, but Jay & Lola too, to be an unbearable amount of time. All three remained in stasis as he bit down on his lip, giving what appeared to be amused consideration to the turn of events. To his credit, Callum held his own, engaging the other man in a continuous expectant gaze. 

The impasse was broken by Ben rising suddenly to his feet. “Right, my round ain’t it?” He didn’t wait for a response, heading off in the direction of the bar. Callum’s resolution visibly faltered, while Lola & Jay looked on in total bemusement, the former offering a consoling squeeze to Callum’s upper arm. 

“Ya comin’, or what?” Ben’s unexpected enquiry of Callum caught them all off guard.  
“Uh, sure…” the older man accepted, exchanging a look of confusion with those remaining at the table as he followed on to the bar.  
Lola slipped into the seat alongside of her boyfriend. “What the hell’s Ben doin’?”  
“Beats me…” Jay shrugged forlornly, as they both watched on as Callum approached Ben at the bar with an obvious sense of trepidation. 

“It’s like all the fight’s just drained outta him,” Lola observed despondently. “I really thought we’d got through to the both of ‘em…”  
“What did ya say to Callum?” Jay queried, his eyes not venturing from the scene before them. The two men at the bar had seemingly exchanged a brief acknowledgement of one another, but an awkward standoff was threatening to emerge again.

“Told ‘im he needs to show Ben who’s boss,” Lola clarified. “And pointed out he should do the same with you as well…”  
“Eh?” Jay momentarily glanced at his girlfriend. “But I am his boss!”  
“Don’t mean you should dump all the filin’ on him in favour of an afternoon in the pub though does it?”

Jay noted some sort of conversation was now taking place between Ben & Callum. “I ain’t here for my own amusement Lo, I’m takin’ one for the team…” He nodded his head in the direction of the bar, to indicate that at least some sort of development was taking place in front of them.  
“What they sayin’?” Lola entreated expectantly.  
“Dunno; can’t make out a single word for all your wittering in me ear…” His assertion earnt her silence, but also a dig in the ribs. 

Whatever dialogue was taking place at the bar didn’t exactly appear to be setting either man’s world alight, Jay observed. Callum was looking agitated, shifting his weight anxiously from one foot to the other, then back again; Ben had a vexed expression on his face, & had been periodically fiddling with a vacant beermat. 

“Ain’t goin’ well, is it?” Lola expressed her concern at a whisper.  
“Not sure,” Jay hedged his bets. He’d seen this sort of countenance from Ben many times before, & knew there was the potential for it to swing in a variety of directions. At this moment in time he was bracing himself for anything from Ben jumping Callum & sticking his tongue down his throat, to Ben hitting Callum, to the whole range of possibilities in between. 

Something seemed to suddenly alter in the atmosphere between the two men, Jay detected, as Ben straightened his back to stand a little taller & look Callum firmly in the eye. Things were either about to take a turn distinctly for the better or the worse, Jay knew, so he & Lola listened in with renewed intensity.

“Kiss me; if you’re ready, then prove it…”

Lola just about suppressed a squeal of excitement from escaping her lips as Ben’s latest words emerged clearer than any he’d spoken previously. She could see the internal conflict Callum was battling through in response to the challenge Ben had issued him with though, so she muttered calmly under her breath. “Come on Callum, you’ve got this…”

In all likelihood, the taller of the two men at the bar hadn’t even heard her utterance, but it did look to both Jay & Lola that Callum had settled the turmoil in his mind, his body stilling & his eyes consenting to match Ben’s absorbing stare. Lola nudged her boyfriend enthusiastically in the ribs at the realisation Callum was starting to lean in towards Ben.

The sudden crashing entrance of a small crowd through the pub door away to the right distracted Jay from the apparently impending reunion in front of him, & he just managed to whisper his concern before it all kicked off. “Oh Jesus…”

“How many times boy…Lie with dogs, you’ll get fleas…”

“Is that Callum’s Dad?” Lola queried to Jay at the brash arrival of the bald, overweight man at the bar, tailed swiftly by Whitney & Stuart.  
Jay gave a brief nod of confirmation, already starting to voice his further unease. “Oh god, Whitney as well…This could only now get any more excruciating for Callum if Phil rocks up too…”  
“Got a bit of the look of Phil about him, ain’t he…” Lola commented, nodding in the direction of Callum’s father. Jay was barely listening to either her or the ensuing dispute taking place at the bar though, his focus returning solely to his brother.

With Callum now standing to face his father’s unwelcome interruption, Ben had retreated a little, opting not to further crowd the situation. Jay couldn’t quite interpret whether that was because Ben was giving Callum the space to define his own destiny, or was in silent trepidation of what might be about to unfold. 

That morning’s conversation between them about history repeating itself now ringing in Jay’s ears, he was trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to catch Ben’s attention. “He wants you to stand shoulder to shoulder, not to protect him…” Jay mumbled under his breath.  
“Ya what?” Lola questioned, barely daring to take her eyes off the increasingly intense scene in front of them.  
“Don’t matter,” Jay returned absently, his gaze still fixed to Ben.

Callum’s will to fight, meanwhile, had apparently returned, as he was giving his father a dressing down in public. 

“Some other people, they taught me it’s much harder making someone feel big, worthwhile, loved…And you’ve never done that, cos you ain’t got the strength…”

Phil’s timely entrance over their left shoulders while Callum was mid flow left Jay momentarily thinking himself capable of prophecy, given he had earlier foretold the said patriarch’s arrival. Something in Ben’s manner was again stirring though, distracting Jay from any such thoughts & prompting him to focus on what Callum was saying once more. If there was even the slightest hint that Ben might be on the verge of kicking off, Jay wanted to be ready.

The first sign of movement from Ben had Jay flinching in his seat, prompting Lola to place a cautionary, stilling arm across his front. “Leave him,” she asserted quietly, flashing her boyfriend a reassuring glance that she knew what she was doing. Jay was silently relieved at the realisation Lola was indeed right, as Ben simply took an unassuming step forward to stand almost at Callum’s shoulder. Close enough to be an affirming presence in the other man’s eye line, distant enough not to cause unwanted attention. 

“The reason me & Whitney never got married Dad, is because…Is because…I’m gay”

As the waves of Callum’s revelation reverberated round the pub, Jay continued to observe Ben, feeling a surge of brotherly pride towards him. For all that the past three years of grief had continuously tormented Ben, here he now stood shoulder to shoulder with the man with whom he was trying to forge a relationship, standing firm in the face of bigotry. Deflecting the prejudice, not absorbing it, even as it became increasingly degrading.

It was only the physical launch of Jonno Highway in the direction of Callum that finally saw Ben attempt a lunge into action, as per the vast remainder of the Vic’s patrons to be fair. The irony was lost on nobody present that the person who finally slayed the bigot was none other than his own mirror image, one Phil Mitchell.


	6. Chapter 6

##  Scene continuation of 01/10/19

In the ensuing melee that followed in the removal of Jonno Highway from the Vic, which was forcibly led by Stuart & Kush, Callum found himself separated from Ben, but in receipt of a supportive arm round his shoulder from Jay, as they exited the premises. “Bet you hadn’t seen all this coming when you woke up this mornin’ mate?”  
“You could say that,” Callum conceded gratefully, wearily running the back of his hand across his face, as if seeking to rub away any trace of his father’s prejudice from his being. 

He cast a glance around, seeking to locate Ben, but not immediately able to do so. On the verge of querying the man’s whereabouts with Jay, he thought better of it when they emerged into the hubbub still gathering themselves around his father to maintain order, & Callum found himself in closer proximity to Whitney than he’d envisaged. 

Jonno evidently was still spouting vitriol to his impromptu audience, although nobody was willing to take it in. Callum took in a long, lingering breath of the sun-quenched air, his head still spinning at just how much his life had turned on its axis within the space of some twenty minutes. He could hear the noise of the voices, but couldn’t take in what they were saying; could hear the clamour of the surrounding market, but couldn’t distinguish any individual sounds. 

Emerging from behind him, over his right shoulder, the sound of the pub door swinging open caught at his attention, as did the renewed presence of the person who walked out through it. He knew it was Ben without even having to look; could sense his grounding spirit even at the respectful distance he was maintaining.

With his poise lifting, Callum zoned back into the conversation that was taking place, just in time to hear Jonno’s assertion that he would be involving the police in Phil’s assault of him, swiftly followed by Whitney’s dismissal of it.

“It all ‘appened so quick officer…”

Callum choked down a surge of emotion at Whitney’s good-natured intervention. As she turned to look at him, as if to give him her blessing, he dared to believe for the very first time just how fortunate he was. Moments like this didn’t happen to people like him very often, so he understood it was one he needed to seize upon. 

With a sense of confidence he wasn’t ever sure he’d possessed before in his life, he turned to where he sensed Ben to be standing, finding him right there, arms folded, watching on in serene approval. Exuding purpose, Callum strode over to him, refusing even to let one of the man’s whimsical quips break his gait. Clasping his hands firmly to Ben’s neck, he kissed him with all the strength he could muster. 

\- - -

Ben wasn’t sure he’d ever known anyone cling onto a kiss so tightly, so fervently. He could understand it though: Callum’s head was orbiting space & he needed something familiar to return him to gravity. 

To say Ben was proud of the man currently initiating this most public display of affection with him was an understatement, so he sank into their kiss for several glorious seconds before reluctantly relenting from it. He wasn’t even affronted as Callum gave a non-committal response to the prospect of a future date, so thrilled was he to see Callum’s newfound self-assurance. As his man walked away, head held high, Ben stepped out into the street to watch, & drink in every second of that vision he could. 

As Callum finally slipped from his sight, Ben felt a firm hand take a grip to his shoulder. “Reckon we’ve all earnt ourselves a drink after that, don’t you?” Jay was already moving further around to embrace his brother. “I’m so chuffed for ya bruv…”  
“Enough with the bromance, let me have a hug too…” Lola interjected, keen not to miss out on the celebrations. 

Ben was still in a state of near shellshock, so allowed himself to be hustled back into the Vic unquestioningly. He was soon brought back to his senses though by Lola’s teasing singsong. “Ben & Callum sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G”.  
“You, mother of my child,” he snapped a finger to obtain her attention. “Can get the next round in for that…”  
“Is that any way to repay me, for bringing you two lovebirds together?” she protested with a smile.  
“Lo,” Ben leant forward against the table & engaged her in an earnest stare. “What even is a baby gay anyway?”  
“Well you definitely ain’t one,” she bit back cheekily, escaping to the bar before he could exact any revenge.

“Unbelievable. Suppose you’re gonna let your girlfriend slander my good reputation just like that are ya?” Ben turned his attention to Jay, who he was surprised to find was staring at him intently. “What?” He queried, putting extra-long emphasis on the final consonant. “You ain’t on the turn over to my side as well are ya?”

“Nah,” Jay shook his head in dismissal of that suggestion. “Just dead proud of my bruv that’s all…” He reached over to ruffle an affectionate hand through Ben’s hair.  
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Ben ducked away in an instant. “Not the hair, not the hair…”


	7. Chapter 7

## Scene continuation from 01/10/19

Callum was floating on air, not knowing how long he'd been grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat for. It felt like a lead weight had been lifted from his shoulders, his heart, his mind. In short, he'd never felt freer. 

He'd ambled happily about the Square for a while, breathing in his new-found existence. Life continued as normal around him, but everything in his world had changed. Eventually he emerged into the park, a sense of inevitability in that fact, given that this was the place he'd first given his true self enough oxygen to breathe.

It was a bright autumnal day so the park was peculiarly busy - well certainly so in comparison to the dead of night. That didn't matter today though, so he moved towards one of the already occupied benches, surprised to find a familiar face there.  
"Bobby?" Callum announced his presence quietly, not wanting to alarm the troubled teenager. "Mind if I join ya?"  
"Callum," Bobby smiled with unprecedented warmth. "It's good to see you..."

"Yeah, you too," Callum agreed with a genuine smile, taking a seat beside him. "What brings you here?"  
"I like the peace; the serenity," Bobby smiled easily. "Gives me a sense of perspective...How about you?"  
Callum knew that answer was easy. "I feel I'm truly myself here..."  
Bobby gave an appreciative nod that implied he concurred with the sentiment, but offered nothing further.

"Look, uh," Callum faltered momentarily, " I was gonna get meself an ice lolly; don't suppose you fancy one too?"  
Bobby appeared bemused momentarily, but ultimately pleased. "I'd love one; thanks".  
"Be right back," Callum grinned, appreciative that he had a partner in crime, & set off towards the park's kiosk.

...So I can offer you raspberry or lemon..." Callum returned just a minute later, proffering the choice of flavours to Bobby.  
"Lemon please; what do I owe you?"  
"It's on me," Callum waved away any such suggestion.  
"Thanks," Bobby smiled, unaccustomed to any such selfless generosity.

"So.. " Callum questioned gently between licks of his own ice lolly. "How have ya been?" Even amongst his own turmoil, it had been playing on his mind that he hadn’t sought Bobby out since that fateful day on the railway track.  
Bobby shrugged. "Yeah, you know, not too bad. Probably about as good as I could be what with my dysfunctional family..."

Callum chuckled quietly. "I reckon there ain't many of us who can boast not having a slightly dysfunctional family to be honest..." How true that was in the context of the past hour of his own family’s life.  
"Yeah, I guess," Bobby conceded ruefully. "How are things with you & Ben?"

"Yeah, " Callum smiled easily. "Good; we're in a good place..."  
"I'm glad," Bobby offered sincerely; "It's good to know Ben's got someone positive in his world for a change".  
Callum nodded his appreciative agreement.  
"So what's with eating ice lollies at the beginning of October?" Bobby laughed easily  
Callum chuckled. "I reckon the question shouldn't so much be why ice lollies at this time of year as why not ice lollies at this time of year".

Bobby stilled as he seemed to consider that sentiment.  
Callum shrugged. "That's kind the mantra I'm tryin' to live my life by today, anyway. Might not work for everyone..."  
"No..." Bobby interjected with surprising force. "I get it...I reckon that's a pretty good life message".  
"By all means use it for yourself then," Callum beamed, taking spirit that his words were having a positive spirit for once.

"Thanks, I will," Bobby acquiesced. "Look, I've gotta go to a counselling session, but thanks again for the lolly".  
"Any time," Callum responded sincerely. “See ya around soon…” His eyes narrowed as he watched the teen slope off steadily into the distance, sensing a little of his own younger troubled self in the image he was seeing. 

He banished that suspicion from his mind with a shake of the head, then glanced at his watch. As lunch breaks went, this one had been quite something, he had to admit. It was time to get back to the parlour & attack that filing though.

\- - -

"Stu? Ya home?" Callum called out on entering the flat. No answer came, so he assumed not. Discarding his keys on the table, he took off his suit jacket, loosened the tie around his neck, & sat down on the sofa. 

Callum wasn't sure what he'd actually expected post coming out. If he was honest, he'd been so caught up in the deed itself, he'd not given that much consideration to the aftermath. Other than always doing his best to protect those most closely involved: Whitney & Ben; Ben & Whitney. And himself, he supposed, somewhere along the line.

For some, he guessed, coming out was a cause for gregarious celebration; for others, a time of persecution. It wasn’t really either of those things for him though; there was simply a deep-rooted satisfaction that he’d finally been true to himself. Even so, he wasn’t entirely sure he’d envisaged being holed up in the flat all on his own in the immediate follow on. 

He glanced at his phone, considering sending a message to Ben, but in truth not knowing where to start. How did you even begin to thank somebody for the solidarity he’d shown him? Leaning his head against the back of the sofa, he closed his eyes & tried to form the answer to that question in his mind’s eye.

\- - -

“Wakey wakey sleepy head…”  
Callum awoke later to a distinct feeling of disorientation, until he eventually focused enough to see his brother’s face looking over him.  
“Made ya a cup of tea…” Stuart held a mug out towards him.

Callum scrabbled his weight up in the sofa to retain his equilibrium, then accepted the mug gratefully. “Must of dropped off…What time is it?”  
“Nearly 9pm,” the clarification came. “You were spark out when I got in about 6, but I guessed you probably needed the shut eye after everythin’ that went on today…”

Callum tried to shake the sleep from his features. “That did all actually happen didn’t it Stu? I ain’t dreamt the whole thing?”  
“You’re the talk of the Square bruv, so yeah, it definitely ‘appened…”  
Callum took a sip of the steaming hot tea. “Thanks for your support today Stu; it means a lot…”

Stuart shrugged. “You’re my brother ain’t ya; I ain’t ever gonna let you down…”  
“That’s good to know…”  
“I mean it’s gonna take me a bit of time, ya know, to adjust to the whole you bein’…” Stuart’s words trailed off, as he instead tried to use his hands as means of explanation.  
“Gay, Stuart,” Callum interjected. “The word you’re looking for is gay…” He took a steadying sip of tea. “I am your brother & I am gay…”

“I know you are…” Stuart confirmed with a nod of his head. “And I will get used to that in time, I promise”.  
“And Ben?” Callum prompted. “Will you get used to Ben in time too?”  
A frown swept across the other man’s forehead. “He ain’t exactly the easiest person to get on with…”  
“Some might say the same about you,” Callum countered, with the raise of an eyebrow. 

Stuart knew he had to concede to that assertion. “Just try not to flaunt it – him – in front of me for a while, yeah, & I’m sure we’ll be just fine…”  
“So long as you try not to engage your fists with Ben’s face ever again…”  
Stuart simply nodded his shamed agreement, saved from having to give any verbal response by the beeping of Callum’s phone. “That ‘im now – Ben, I mean?”  
Callum glanced at the screen to see the message he had just received was from Jay:

_Monumental, life changing even, though today might have been for ya, don’t think for one minute you’re claiming a lie in tomorrow morning. Want ya in the Office 8am sharp…  
Me & Lo both so chuffed for ya though mate_

Callum smiled at the sentiment of the message, responding to his brother’s question with confirmation it wasn’t from Ben. It was only then though he noticed a second message was also there waiting for him, sent several hours previously:

_So, SO proud of you today.  
I’ll wait out…  
B x_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter specifically for the lovely Callum - after all the hubbub of THAT Queen Vic kiss died down, I couldn't help but wonder where Callum went; what he did. Many of his friends after all are Ben's friends/family also, so I was pondering where Callum turned. Something & nothing I know, but important for the characterisation I feel...
> 
> With thanks for all the lovely feedback on this fic so far


	8. Chapter 8

## Unseen scene circa 11/10/19

Ben held a bag of takeaway food up in one hand, & a four-pack of beer in the other, as Callum opened his flat door to him.   
"Looks tasty," Callum smiled in greeting.  
"Yeah, the food probably ain't bad either," Ben smirked, edging past the other man, pressing a brief kiss of greeting to his cheek as he went.  
Callum chuckled in quiet amusement as he followed on into the kitchen.

As Callum began to shuffle around gathering plates & cutlery, Ben stalked his way about the flat. "Uncle Fester not in?" He craned his neck to peer around one of the bedroom doorways.  
"Nah, he's taken himself off for a couple of days..." Callum stacked the plates high with the takeaway containers & carried them, plus the drinks, over towards the sitting area.

"Because he's still trying to deny the fact that you came out?" Ben sought to clarify, continuing to tread an uneasy path around the place.  
"He's alright with it really," Callum was busy distributing the takeaway containers out across the coffee table. "We talked before he went. He said it might take him a bit of time to get his head around, but he's my brother & I know he'll get there".

"And anythin’ else from your Dad?" Ben planted his hands deep in his jacket pockets, looking around distractedly.  
"Nothin’. Doubt he'll be darkenin' our doorstep again..." Callum was now removing the lids from the takeaway dishes & inspecting the contents of each. "I feel bad actually; I never thanked your Dad for what he did that day..."

"I wouldn't lose any sleep over it; doubt Phil will," Ben shrugged.  
"It weren't right though; that my Dad got the police involved," Callum sounded regretful.  
"Water off a duck's back for Phil. Just a pity the police went for the wrong guy - as usual - ain't it? Arrest the bloke who stands up for tolerance; do absolutely nothing about the bigot spouting out homophobic vitriol..."

Ben sensed Callum's movements still at that comment, so glanced across at him.  
"He's still me Dad, Ben. No matter how despicable his words & actions. He's still me Dad..."  
"I know..." Ben returned, his eyes meeting Callum's for the first time. "I know - that don't make him beyond reproach though".

Callum nodded his acceptance of that assertion, before looking back to the feast in front of him. “Ya plannin’ on pacing round the flat all night, or ya comin’ over here to eat some of this?”  
Ben immediately shook himself out of the confusion of thoughts & feelings in his mind. “Well I ain’t bought all that for you to scoff the lot, ‘av I?” He shrugged his jacket from his back & made determined progress across the room to join the other man on the sofa, at which Callum passed him across one of the cans.

Ben scratched a finger against the edge of his chin. “Guess we should be making a toast, shouldn’t we?”  
“What we toastin’?” Callum tugged at the ring pull on his can & Ben followed suit.  
“Bein’ out & proud?” Ben suggested, his gaze lifting to study Callum’s intently.   
“Bein’ out & proud,” Callum’s agreement came with an easy smile, lifting his can to knock it against the other.

They each took a long satisfying swig of the liquid then turned their attention to dishing the food out onto the plates. It wasn’t long before Callum was prodding dubiously at the contents of one of the containers, which seemed to be some sort of noodle concoction. “What even is this one supposed to be?”  
Ben responded with a shrug. “No idea…”  
“You bought it didn’t ya?”  
“Just ordered one of the set menus,” Ben clarified. “Didn’t actually pay any attention to what it came with…” 

Callum continued to look unconvinced. “Well you can eat that one then…” He shoved the offending container across the table in Ben’s direction, opting instead to load his plate with the more recognisable food stuffs in front of him.  
“Ain’t you ever just tempted to take a gamble?” Ben eyed him with a smirk.  
“Feels like that’s all I’ve been doin’ the past few months to be honest…”

“One more can’t exactly hurt then, can it?” Ben sunk his fork into the rejected container & wound some of the noodles round his fork, before holding it out towards the other man. “Live a little?”  
Callum’s eyes narrowed to meet Ben’s over the fork. “I will if you will…”

Ben’s eyebrows raised as he gave a nod of acceptance; he then watched Callum procure some of the affronting noodles with his own fork. “Er, there’s way more noodles on that fork than mine…” he tried to protest.  
“And I repeat, you’re the muppet who bought a dish without even knowing what it is,” Callum grinned. “Time to accept your penance Mitchell…”

Ben’s expression set into one of neutrality. “Never let it be said Ben Mitchell doesn’t accept a punishment with anything but good grace…” He dipped his head to snatch the mouthful of noodles being offered to him in one & chewed down on them, displaying no hint of reaction on his face. “Your turn…” he eventually gestured to Callum, once his mouthful had been swallowed, presenting his fork to the man’s mouth. 

“Why do I get the horrible feeling you’re really good when it comes to having a poker face?” Callum lamented, reluctantly accepting his mouthful of food.  
“It’s all that practice I’ve had playing strip poker,” Ben advised with a smirk, before his face developed into a scowl. “Those noodles are truly disgustin’, ain’t they?”

Callum began to choke down the foodstuff in his mouth, privately acknowledging it wasn’t solely the foul tasting food that had prompted such a reaction. A notion of the two of them playing strip poker beginning to run through his psyche.

\- - -

“Can I ask ya somethin’?” Callum broke the amiable silence that had formed as the two men ate their way through the more palatable elements of the takeaway meal. Each of them had settled at either end of the sofa, facing one another, their backs supported by cushions. Both had their legs raised, running parallel to one another’s; plates resting in their laps. 

“Course…” Ben acquiesced readily between mouthfuls.  
Callum put his fork down on his plate. “When ya came out, what was it like?”  
“Well…” Ben mused. “There was obviously the marching band, the dancing girls, the feather boas…” He watched on in amusement as Callum’s response to his words formed across his face; the occasional gullibility of this man was always a joy to behold.

“Ya are havin’ me on, ain’t ya?”  
“Yes Callum, I’m havin’ ya on…” Ben affirmed with a soft smile, before his tone settled into something altogether more sincere. “But if you really wanna know, when I came out it was like someone had switched a light on & the shadows that had always been there before all disappeared". 

Callum met that statement with a gentle smile but offered no comment on it. "And did people just accept it, or..."  
Ben expelled a wheeze of air. "I ain't sure some folk, like Phil, are ever gonna accept it, not really. Then there's people at the opposite end, like Jay, who accept it & embrace it unconditionally".

"He's a good guy, Jay, ain't he?" Callum exalted warmly.  
"He's a diamond," Ben affirmed with a soft smile that then merged into a wince. "But don't go tellin' him I said that".  
"Your secret's safe with me," Callum assured quietly.  
"I know it is," Ben agreed without hesitation, deciding on the spur of the moment that he'd eaten enough & discarding his plate on the table. One of his now unoccupied hands then absent-mindedly settled to rest on Callum's lower leg. "You still findin' you're the talk of the town then?"

"What, you ain't as well?" Callum was quick to query.  
"Not exactly averse to bein' the centre of attention, me, so can’t say I’ve noticed," Ben smirked, then intentionally softened. "Folk are pretty fickle round 'ere; they'll find somethin' new to talk about soon enough". He tapped a pattern of reassurance to Callum's leg.

"I just ain't used to bein' under the spotlight," Callum reasoned. "People ain’t usually that bothered with me".  
Ben raised an eyebrow in response. "Me, I’m permanently bothered with you…” He had that enigmatic glint in his eyes that the other man always found so impossible to interpret, which Ben himself knew. “I’m just teasin’ Cal, you know that…”

Callum straightened himself up to sit a little taller in his seat to voice the question on his mind. “What…what are we at the moment Ben?” His eyes transfixed to the hand still resting on his leg.  
“What d’ya want us to be?” the returned query came through narrowing eyes that attempted to lift Callum’s gaze up to them.  
“There is so much I want us to be, but I ain’t even sure I understand how I’m supposed to know when the time’s right any more…”

Ben lifted his hand from the other man’s leg to scratch his own stubble as he carefully pondered those words. “I reckon you’ll probably know you’re ready when you don’t even need to ask yourself that question any more…”


	9. Chapter 9

## Unseen scene 15/10/19

Ben’s hands entwined around the near empty whiskey glass on the bar as he mused over what had been a rough few days of business dealings - & all that meant in its broadest context. He was seeking refuge with a quiet drink in the Albert before heading home to an evening of babysitting Lexi. The comings & goings of others in the venue went largely unnoticed by him, as he kept his head down & his eyes to himself. His presence here wasn’t driven by the need for an ego boosting hook up, or a drink-fuelled purge; he was simply trying to keep a lid on the various frustrations that were beginning to fester in his stomach.

His thoughts were interrupted by the barman placing a bottle of lager in front of him. “Er,” Ben scratched a hand of frustration against his neck. “I ain’t ordered that…” He pushed the bottle away.  
“Courtesy of the guy over there,” the barman clarified, nodding his head in a generic direction further along the bar.

“Do I even look vaguely like I’m here on the pull?” Ben grumbled, to no one in particular. “Can a guy not even take a quiet drink by himself without bein’ harassed for sexual favours any more…” He began to turn in his seat, grasping a hand to the complimentary bottle of lager, ready to give his best _thanks, but no thanks_ speech.

He was met by a familiar set of sparkling blue eyes that visibly lifted under raised eyebrows. “Who’s been harassin’ ya for sexual favours?”   
Ben tilted his head inquisitively at the realisation Callum was his surprise benefactor. “You, in my dreams…” His eyes narrowed to study the man before him.  
The usual flush of colour began to light up the taller man’s features, but he didn’t shy away from it for once, they both noted. “So ya gonna have that drink with me?”

“Mmm,” Ben purred his considered response as he took a swig of the lager, his eyes fixed on Callum. “Ain’t seen ya round these parts much before…”  
“Thinkin’ I might start to become a regular judgin’ by the company I’ve found…” Callum smiled easily. 

Ben appeared enraptured. “Are you flirtin’ with me, Mr Highway?”  
“Is that a problem for ya, if I am?” Callum narrowed the gap between them.  
“No problem for me,” Ben grinned eagerly. “No problem at all…”   
“Glad to hear it,” Callum asserted, tugging the younger man towards him by his shirt lapel & delivering a short, soft kiss to his lips.

Ben’s eyes widened as Callum relented & re-established a modest gap between them. “Ya found the answer to that question you were tormentin’ yourself with the other night then?”  
“Sure did…”  
“And, ya know, just for the avoidance of doubt,” Ben rubbed a finger at the corner of his eye. “What was the answer you found?”  
Callum shifted his weight, determined still to stand firm. “About so tall…” he held a hand up to match the height of the other man. “…Sharp dresser, fit as, eyes you could drown in…”

A smirk began to play at Ben’s mouth. “Sounds like a bit of a catch if you ask me”.  
“Modest too…” Callum laughed knowingly.  
Ben permitted him a flash of his brilliant smile, then bit down on his lower lip, apparently giving thought to some notion. “So,” his hand moved to rest against Callum’s arm & he spoke quietly. “Are ya finally gonna come on that date with me?”

Callum drank his lager through an obvious smile. “What, ya mean now?” he queried uncertainly.  
Ben shook his head with an apologetic wince. “Later in the week?” He sensed a moment’s doubt in the other man’s aura, already knowing he himself had the power to quash it. “The only reason it’s a no tonight is because I’m on daddy duty…” His hand stroked along Callum’s arm. “Besides, if we’re gonna do the datin’ thing, we should at least do it properly…”

Callum’s eyes met Ben’s, twinkling with anticipation. “Properly?”  
Ben shrugged. “Ya know the sort of thing: both spend a bit too long ahead of the date in front of the mirror, splash on a bit too much aftershave, agonise over which shirt to wear…”  
“Ya think I ain’t already done all of that this evening?” the taller man grimaced.  
“Highly successfully from where I’m standing,” the assurance came softly, bringing a blush to Callum’s face that seemed to extend down his neck as far as the eye could see. Ben leant in close to whisper. “Take the compliment & enjoy it,” he then pecked a kiss to one of the flushed cheeks.

Callum’s gaze slipped to the floor as Ben stepped back, both of them understanding the older man still struggled in the face of adoration; a source of both frustration & wonderment to Ben in equal measures. In that instant, all he wanted to do was reward the conviction Callum had shown in even seeking him out. “You could always come with tonight, ya know, spend the evenin’ with me & Lex…”

Callum’s eyes lifted in warm receipt of the assertion, but he shook his head. “It’s your time with your little girl; that’s precious, you should treasure every second of it”.  
_Precious,_ that word resonated in Ben’s mind, a reminder that’s exactly how he’d previously described his feelings about the man standing in front of him to Jay. He dismissed the opportunity to draw any such parallel in the present though. “I do treasure it,” he smiled warmly. “You are still absolutely welcome to come though”.

“Maybe next time?” Callum tilted his head in query. “Like you said, we should be doing all this properly. Goin’ on a few dates first…”  
Ben understood, appreciated & respected the sentiment. “I got time enough now to walk back the long way, make sure you get home safe. I mean, if you ain’t plannin’ on stayin’ for another?”  
“I’d like that,” Callum agreed with a smile. 

They downed their drinks in unison, each suddenly struck by the notion that a few stolen solo moments together was everything they actually wanted. Reaching the exit of the bar, Callum gestured for Ben to go through the door before him; once through Ben paused & held out his hand for Callum to take. Which he did without hesitation.

“You choose the day then,” Ben prompted in hushed tones as they began to walk.  
“Hmm?” Callum questioned absent-mindedly, lost somewhere in the moment.  
“You choose the day for our date”.  
“Not even sure I know what day it is at the moment, to be honest,” Callum admitted freely.  
Ben chuckled. “Tuesday, last time I checked…”

Callum clasped his hand a little tighter to Ben’s as he mused over what might be the correct answer to give. _Would opting for the very next evening be over keen? Was he supposed to play it cool & hold out for the weekend?_ He was entirely out of his depth in all of this.

Ben could sense the indecision & tried to stay quiet through it, but knew eventually he would have to put Callum out of his misery. “I’ll make it easy for ya: I’ll think of two days in my mind, then I’ll make one Day A & one Day B. All you gotta choose then is A or B; ok?”  
“Ok,” Callum agreed, silently grateful that his mind had apparently been read.  
“Go ahead then, A or B?” Ben prompted, intentionally not looking across at him. “And you know what, don’t overthink it Cal, just go with the first thing that comes into your head…”

“The first thing that comes into my head?”  
“Yup,” Ben confirmed with a squeeze of their hands.  
“That’s easy, ain’t it?” Callum affirmed readily. “B for Ben; that’s always the first thing that enters me head…”

Ben stopped them in their tracks, in the partial realisation they had all but reached Callum’s flat, but as much because he so adored Callum’s infrequent moments of total lucidity such as that which had just occurred. “Yeah?” he checked, turning to face his man.  
“Yeah,” Callum confirmed softly, their eyes meeting in a lingering gaze that neither wanted to step away from.

It was Ben who eventually broke the spell. “How glad am I you chose B…” As he spoke he led them back on their way once more. “Not sure I could of held out until Saturday…”  
“So what day did I pick?” Callum questioned eagerly.   
“Thursday,” Ben swiftly clarified. “Assuming that’s good for you?”  
“Thursday’s great for me,” Callum assured him, searching for his key in his pocket as he became aware they were at his flat already. “Are you coming up?”

Ben glanced at his watch & sighed. “Daddy duty calls…” he admitted reluctantly.   
“Course it does,” Callum accepted unquestioningly as he unlocked the door, then turned back to look at the other man. “She’s a lucky girl, to have a dad like you”.

Ben accepted his commendation with a smile, then stepped forward to cup a hand to Callum’s cheek & deliver a tender kiss to his mouth. “Thursday then,” he uttered at a whisper as he slowly pulled away.  
“Thursday,” Callum confirmed with a radiating smile that led them to kiss once more, a little more dynamically this time.

“Thursday,” Ben repeated, this time expelling a deep sigh that reflected a reluctance from both of them that this moment actually had to come to an end. He let his hand slip from Callum’s face to trace an affectionate finger down the front of his shirt, stalling as he reached halfway down his torso. “Sod it,” he proclaimed gruffly. “I’m late already, so another minute ain’t gonna make much difference…” As he spoke he flattened his palm to Callum’s chest to push him gently through the door to rest against the internal wall, at which he engaged a more passionate kiss between them. 

It was still over too soon for either of their liking, but at least set a tone for how they both hoped Thursday might progress. “To be continued…” Ben asserted, slipping a final kiss to Callum’s cheek before he walked away.  
Callum simply stood dumbstruck with an admiring grin on his face.

As he neared home, Ben took his mobile phone from his pocket & tapped out a message while he manoeuvred through first the back gate & then the kitchen door.

_Just the right amount of aftershave by the way B x_

Smiling to himself at the evening’s success, he barely noticed as Lexi began her launch at him from across the sitting room. “Daddy; you’re home!”  
“Hey princess,” he cooed, stroking a hand through her hair, while nodding an acknowledgement of greeting to Jay.

“Daddy, what are short & curlies?” The little girl chimed back at him.  
“Er,” Ben slipped his phone away into his pocket & gave a bemused look back in Jay’s direction. “You might have to give me the context baby…”  
“The what?” she questioned.  
“Um, I mean the whole sentence you heard that phrase in…” He scratched a finger against his stubble in sudden uncertainty.

“Mummy said if you weren’t back within the next five minutes she was going to string you up by the short & curlies…” Lexi repeated what she’d overheard verbatim in all the naivety of her childhood innocence.  
“Did she now?” Ben rolled his eyes.  
“Come on then Daddy,” Jay roused, “don’t keep Lex waiting for an answer…” He was grinning from ear to ear in victory. In recent months the two brothers had created a knack of putting unsuitable words & phrases in the mind of the little girl, before prompting her to seek their meaning from the other man.

Ben retaliated at Jay with a look that advised he wasn’t quite ready to admit defeat just yet. “She means by my shoelaces, baby” he advised his daughter cautiously.  
“Well that’s just silly isn’t it though daddy, because the boots you’re wearing ain’t got laces…”  
He was saved from responding by Lola appearing. “Finally bothered to show up then? Clearly no concern for mine & Jay’s date night…”

“Relax, take a chill pill mother of my child,” Ben smoothed down the front of his shirt as he slipped his jacket from his shoulders. “I’m here now ain’t I? I was just fixin’ up a little date of my own, that’s all…”  
Lola’s ears pricked up at that assertion. “It’s better be with Callum, no one else…” she jabbed a fingernail to his chest.  
“Of course with Callum,” Ben smiled sweetly. “What do you actually take me for?”

“Right, well probably best she don’t answer that,” Jay coughed, rising out of his chair. “And anyway, we’d better get goin’…”  
Ben collapsed down on the sofa, pointing the remote control at the television. “Enjoy yourself then kids…Don’t do anythin’ I would do…”  
“Well that leaves us plenty of scope, don’t it?” Jay retorted, as he led his girlfriend from the house.


	10. Chapter 10

## Unseen scene 17/10/19

“Never let it be said I don’t show my dates a good time…” Ben dropped down on the park bench, takeaway chips in hand.  
Callum similarly followed suit, taking a seat just close enough that their knees were touching. “Dates, plural?” He raised a questioning eyebrow. “Planning on fittin’ more than just me in this evenin’ are ya?”  
“Mmm,” Ben chewed down on a chip. “I was kinda hopin’ that wouldn’t be necessary…”  
“Let’s hope so;” Callum agreed, suddenly a little pensive, studying his own carton of chips with increased scrutiny under the illumination of the streetlight.

Ben sighed. “This is still the same us Callum. Just because we’ve agreed to label tonight as an actual date, it don’t really change all that much in reality…” It was the first time the two men had settled on formalising an actual date night since Ben’s epic destruction of their only previous attempt at the Albert a couple of weeks earlier. They’d followed the mantra of mates first in the intervening period, meeting up socially for drinks, sometimes just the two of them, sometimes with Jay & Lola in tow. “Just means we get the chance to be a bit more handsy, that’s all…”

Callum’s features sparked inquisitively. “Handsy?”  
Ben looked over at him evenly. “Only if ya wanted, I mean…”  
In spite of his nerves, Callum knew that was an invitation he was only ever going to run with. “Handsy’s good…” he agreed with the most casual smile he could muster. To be fair, Ben had been the model of patience & decorum since Callum had come out, insisting that the older man allowed himself some breathing space to adjust. By private admission only to himself, Callum had been missing the other man’s electrifying touch.

Ben rewarded his man’s approval with a smile that beamed from his eyes. “Somethin’ you might not have noticed about me, is I can be a bit of an exhibitionist…”  
Callum rolled his eyes. “You’re right, I hadn’t noticed”.  
“So when I’m out on a date with someone as gorgeous as you I enjoy bein’ able to show you off as mine. It’s one of my kinks…” He observed Callum to blush freely at the suggestion he found him gorgeous. “Bein’ handsy out in public is part of that for me”.

Callum gave some consideration to that assertion as he ate another chip. Eventually he settled on the question he wanted to ask. “Is that all one-way traffic though? That you enjoy being the one bein’ handsy, instead of bein’ the one in receipt of it?”

Ben was fascinated by the unexpected turn their conversation was taking, so skewed his body position on the bench to face Callum, perching an elbow onto the back of the bench so he could lean his head against his hand. “Hell no,” his eyes twinkled brightly, “I love a guy to be handsy with me too…” He rested the carton containing his own remaining chips on his thigh. “Only if that’s somethin’ he’s comfortable with though…”

Callum appeared deep in thought for a moment, as if he was challenging his own scruples. “I reckon being mutually handsy in public is somethin’ I can get used to with a bit of practice”. He delivered his declaration in tones that were so level you could have been mistaken for thinking he was merely reading an information leaflet. “The whole thing of you givin’ me compliments might take a bit longer though…”

Ben tilted his head inquisitively. “Have I even given you a compliment yet tonight?”  
“You said you liked my shirt when we met up…”  
“That was just me stating a point of fact Cal,” Ben swiftly clarified. “I ain’t even voiced the thought of how much I actually like the look of you in that shirt yet…” He continued flirtatiously, allowing his eyes to look his companion’s clothed chest up & down. 

Callum’s face instantly ignited with a blush, but he was determined to remain fearless in the face of the other man’s games for as long as he could. “And you just said I’m gorgeous…”  
Ben shook his head as a playful smirk erupted from his mouth. “Point of fact once again Cal…” 

The heat radiating from Callum’s facial blush would by now have been enough to warm a small room, Ben was certain, but he opted to concede. “I’ll try to rein the compliments in a bit, in public at least, ok?”  
“Appreciated,” Callum confirmed, raising another chip to his mouth.  
Ben looked on in silence for a moment, but couldn’t resist some mischief. “Mind you, ya do look mighty fine when you’re mid blush…”

Callum simply concentrated on not choking on the chip he was chewing, instead of rising to the bait. As he did, he decided on trying to play Ben at his own game, allowing an amiable silence to settle as they both tucked into their chips once more. When he was certain Ben was mid a reasonable mouthful of food, Callum struck back. “So where do we stand on the whole snoggin’ in public thing?”

His most unexpected of questions had the desired effect, as Ben nearly choked the contents of his mouth outwards. “Jeez, Cal…” He eventually blustered between coughs. “What are you tryin’ to do to me?”  
“Teachin’ you a lesson perhaps?” Callum raised an eyebrow.  
“Received loud & clear,” Ben grimaced, suddenly put off from consuming any more of his chips. A particularly crude innuendo about being taken to the point of choking on a first date was threatening to form in his mind, but he quelled it, knowing it wasn’t appropriate with this audience. 

“Out of interest though…” Ben shuffled his weight slightly forwards. “What exactly is our snoggin’ policy?”  
”Guess that might depend on what we both class as a snog…” Callum shrugged.  
“Yeah,” Ben nodded his agreement. “Could be really awkward after all if we each have a different idea of what a snog in public entails…”  
“Exactly…” Callum concurred. “Difficult one, ain’t it?”

“Hmmm,” Ben mused, drumming his fingers against his face, a smile starting to emerge, which Callum returned with one of his own. They both knew exactly where they were heading.  
Callum leant his head in closely to Ben’s. “So shall we just go full-on snog, then work backwards from there to find a point we’d both be comfortable at in public?”  
“Works for me,” Ben agreed with a delicious grin, remembering just in time to remove the chip carton from his thigh as their lips began to connect. 


	11. Chapter 11

## Unseen scene 17/10/19; Merging into Actual scene of 18/10/19

Five minutes later & they were still there seated on the bench, tongues entwined in an effortless kiss. Ben's hands rifling through Callum's hair; Callum's fingers playing at the nape of Ben's neck. 

The sheer weight of intensity shared by their previous kisses was gone, with Callum apparently feeling free, able & willing to enjoy himself. Neither of them had their judgement impeded, or courage enhanced, by any trace of alcohol. They were just being themselves.

It was Callum who eventually broke the kiss, sitting back a little as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip. "We need to have a serious word about the amount of salt you insist on adding to your chips before you even think we're snoggin' like that again..." The grin on his face was broad.

"Buy ya a drink to wash away the taste?" Ben chuckled in return.  
'Reckon you'd better," Callum agreed, rising to his feet, then turning to pull the other man up to his.  
"How about we find ourselves a secluded spot in E20?" Ben loosely slipped an arm around Callum's waist as he voiced his question.  
"Sounds good to me," Callum affirmed softly, & they began to walk along in quiet companionship.

Ben knew what was happening here & understood their kissing session on the bench had probably just done wonders for both of them. For Callum it had been a chance to let go & relax a little into his own skin ahead of their date moving to a more public arena. He already seemed more settled, less edgy for it. For Ben their kissing had settled his own misgivings over going on an actual bona fide date. He hadn't done this since the days of Paul. He was more used to app-driven hook ups & chat up lines at bars than wining & dining. The tide had changed with Callum's arrival in his world though, & Ben was readily accepting of his different approach.

"If I asked something of you that I don't really have any right to ask, what would you say?" Callum broke the spell of silence between them, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead, not confident enough to look the other man in the eye.  
Ben mused on that momentarily. "I'd probably say it would depend what you were askin' of me..."  
"Ok..." Callum accepted cautiously.

"You gonna ask me, whatever it is then?" They were nearing the entrance to E20, so Ben halted them in their tracks. "Callum?" He placed a hand to the taller man's arm, indicating he wanted him to look at him. “Look,” Ben smiled calmly. “If this is gonna be you askin’ me to reduce my salt intake on me chips, we might be about to have a problem. Pretty much anythin’ else though & I’ll be receptive to it…”

Callum chuckled in appreciation of Ben’s attempt to lighten the atmosphere. He took in a deep breath. “You can say no if it completely affronts you or if…”  
“For god’s sake, spit it out Callum,” Ben asserted impatiently, but with obvious amusement on his face.  
“Would you…Would you consider deleting that app of yours; the one you hook up with guys on?” His eyes looked away as he finished voicing the question, unable to look the other man in the eye.

Ben tilted his head in apparently peaked interest, & bit down on his bottom lip. “The app I’ve already had on silent mode ever since I said I’d wait out for you, ya mean?”  
Callum looked back towards him at that statement.  
Ben closed the gap between them & raised his hands to rest them against Callum’s upper arms. “You jealous of it?” He entreated softly.  
“Not jealous so much as…” Callum narrowed his eyes. “…Intimidated by it?” He admitted hesitantly. 

Ben gently shook his head in dismay. “Intimidated? You ever actually stopped & looked at yourself in the mirror?” He pressed an indulgent kiss to Callum’s lips. “Now get yourself inside will ya?” He stepped slightly aside to clear the pathway into E20, pausing in consideration for a moment before following on after his man.

As they descended the stairs towards the bar, Ben took his phone from his trouser pocket & swiped at its screen. “Cal,” He called out just as Callum’s hand went to reach for the door handle, prompting the other man to pause & look back towards him. Ben held the phone screen up so they could both see it & tapped an uninstall function. “It’s gone…”

Callum appeared genuinely touched by the gesture. “You did that for me?”  
Ben gave a nod of his head. “Yeah, cos I reckon you’re worth it…”  
Callum responded with a chuckle he couldn’t resist. “Ain’t that normally your line? _ Because I’m worth it” _ He flicked a demonstrative hand through his own hair to give his best of impression of Ben’s usual brag.

“Comedy genius, ain’t ya?” Ben smirked, reaching up to smooth out an errant strand in Callum’s hair, before pulling the door to hold it open for them. As they reached the bar, Ben’s hand found its way to Callum’s back, his palm splaying to rest against his shoulder blades. “You gettin’ ‘em in?” 

Callum was trying his utmost to focus in the moment with Ben: think only about the constant of his hand against his back; the close proximity in which he was standing, but it was no good, he was going to have to speak the anxiety brewing in his mind. “Whit’s over there, behind us…”

“I clocked her…” Ben affirmed with soft assurance. He’d already felt the tension spike through Callum’s body in the instant he’d realised his ex was in the bar. “You alright?”  
“Yeah, I’m alright,” Callum attempted what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “It’s just a bit weird, ya know?”  
“We do all live in the same area, so this was always gonna happen occasionally…” Ben heeded sagely.  
“I know, I know. Could just do without it on this of all nights…” Callum winced, with a hint of apology in his tone.

Ben understood this was something that came with the territory that was Callum. It was pointless trying to deny it & it would have been cruel to dismiss it. He knew from personal experience that even feelings that were misappropriated in the first place couldn’t just be switched off like a light. “Who’s the guy she’s with?” He asked, each of them turning away from the bar to look in the other couple’s direction.   
“The honeymoon fling, at a guess…” Callum suggested.

Ben decided they had probably been looking across at Whitney for long enough, so guided Callum to turn back to the bar with a soft touch to his arm. “It is a good thing you’re both movin’ on, ya know. If Whitney’s happy, you should be too”.   
“I am happy,” Callum tried to sound his most convincing. “And I will try harder to make the rest of this evenin’ about us, I promise”.  
“Can’t ask more than that, can I?” Ben nudged his arm to Callum’s side & passed a bottle of lager to him. “Shall we?”  



	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

## Narrative continuation of scene from 18/10/19

To be fair, Callum had been true to his word on giving his best to Ben on their date. They’d spent the best part of an hour swapping anecdotes, interspersed with quips, occasionally even getting a bit handsy, as Ben so eloquently liked to described it. Their bottles of lager, the originals as purchased when they first arrived at E20, long since drained. Ben was vaguely aware that in the time they’d consumed just the one drink, at least three rounds had come & gone at Whitney’s table. He also knew Callum had been keeping a surreptitious tab on her drinking too. 

“I’m just gonna…” Callum gestured in the direction of the gents.  
A flicker of a smirk played at the corner of Ben’s mouth, as he raised a suggestive eyebrow.  
“Behave,” Callum shook his head.  
Ben chuckled quietly. “Filthy mind you’ve got there. All I was gonna ask was if ya want another one…” He nodded to their empty bottles. Apparently unbeknown to Callum, he’d spied a timely opportunity to make an intervention.  
“Go on then,” Callum acquiesced, before taking his temporary leave.

Ben gathered up their empty bottles & strode casually up to the bar, offering a nod of acknowledgement to the other customer already being served there. Which just happened to be Whitney’s companion. “You’re Whit’s holiday fling then, are ya?”  
“You’re the bloke who shagged her husband-to-be I take it?” The instant retort came.  
“The one & only,” Ben grinned proudly, then instantly allowed his features to darken over with more serious intent. “Now,” he raised an accusatory finger, “you wouldn’t be tryin’ to get our Whit off her face would ya?”

The other man paused to pass his payment to the barman & then turned back to glare at Ben. “And that would be any of your business because…?”  
“Because if you mess with Whit, that messes with Callum, which messes up my evening’s plans for a quiet drink with my fella…All of which would make me a very unhappy bunny. Capeesh?”

The other man gave a nod of response, but said nothing.  
“Glad we have ourselves an understanding”. Ben flashed him a smile laden with total insincerity. “Now run along before my date sees us fraternising. We don’t wanna scene now do we?” He emphasised his words with a click of his fingers. “Same again, ta…” he then acknowledged the barman with a wave of his hand, while confirming to himself that Callum hadn’t returned before the other man had sat back down with Whitney.

Callum had made it back to the table though in the interim it took Ben to pay for their drinks. Placing one of the bottles in front of his date, Ben could see Callum’s attention seemed distracted in favour of Whitney, so he brushed a hand through his hair as he passed him.

“Hey, not the hair…” Callum protested, running his palm through it to check nothing was out of place.  
“And you reckon I’m vain…” Ben marvelled as he returned to his seat, the phone in his pocket simultaneously chirruping with a message. He saw Callum’s involuntary bristle at the mere sound. “Relax, the app’s gone; remember?” Ben briefly placed a hand of reassurance to Callum’s thigh.

“I know, sorry…” Callum loosened a little at the touch & watched on in silence as Ben checked the phone for its message.  
“It’s just Lo, reminding me I’m on the school run in the morning…And she seems to have added an interesting combination of emojis at the end of the message, which I’m just tryin’ to decipher the meanin’ of…” 

Ben got all caught up in decoding Lola’s message, which it was steadily dawning on him contained sexual connotations as to how his date with Callum might end up.  
Callum, meanwhile, was fixating on what was happening across the bar, which Ben immediately realised as he glanced up. “You gotta stop worrying Callum; first yer brother, now her. They’re big enough to look after themselves”. He then diverted his attention back to his phone, still somewhat bemused by Lola’s meaning.

Callum remained unconvinced. “She’s smashed Ben; he could be anyone…”  
Ben wasn’t for persuading. “She’s tryin’a make you jealous alright, don’t fall for it…” He discarded his mobile phone nonetheless, realising his date needed his attention.  
“She’s not like that; she’s just a good person & she’s hurtin’, & it’s my fault…” Callum by now seeming genuinely rattled.

Ben took a swig from his drink. “How d’you get to be so good when there’s so much bad about? Kindness is a weakness, Callum…”  
“No it ain’t, & if you really thought like that, I wouldn’t be here with you…” Callum immediately called him out.

Their exchange was curtailed at the sound of a glass breaking, with the realisation dawning on both of them that it was Whitney’s. Callum began rising to his feet in an instant, stopped only by Ben reaching for his arm. “Let her go, or she’ll never let go of you Callum…”

That reasoning had succeeded in curbing Callum’s protective streak for a short while at least, Ben even commenting that with Billy now in the vicinity taking charge of the drink spillage, Whitney would be safe & well for a while. Try as Callum might though, they both knew he couldn’t relax in her presence.

After a few minutes of stilted conversation, Ben attempted to be chivalrous. “I’ll see what’s goin’ on yeah?” He placed a palm to Callum’s thigh.  
“No, no, no, I’ll talk to her…” Callum intercepted, placing a hand to Ben’s arm. “I owe her that much…” He ventured a nervous, pleading smile. “I’ll see you later…yeah?”

“Alright,” Ben acquiesced after a moment’s brooding consideration, during which he looked across at Whitney & her companion, He rubbed his hand against Callum’s thigh. “I’ll be in the Vic, if you need me, yeah?” Leaning in, he pecked a short kiss to his man’s lips, then left Callum to do as he saw fit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried a different concept here, merging the actual scenes as were screened part way through this chapter…
> 
> Sad but true that this is the way my mind works – I had to get in an explanation for why Ben was on his phone in the middle of their date. It wasn’t just a momentary glance either, he was properly scrolling through something. I could have interpreted it being a demonstration of Ben’s frustration that he was playing second fiddle to Whitney, but decided on a different spin.


	13. Chapter 13

## Narrative continuation from actual scene of 18/10/19

“Make sure she gets home,” Callum still couldn’t just switch off his instinctive need to protect Whitney, despite their awkward heart-to-heart. He was torn even now as he exited the club, between the wish to ensure her safety & his desire to be back with Ben. It had always been that way, Callum tugged in opposing directions by two formidable forces. 

Ben was right though: Callum had to let go of Whitney at some point if any of them were truly to stand a chance at being happy. That point, he guessed, might as well be now. Taking determined strides, he set off on his way across the Square, used his army training to straighten his shoulders & stand as tall as he dared, then opened the door to the Vic & walked in.

“Ya want one?” Ben, standing there at the bar, greeted Callum’s arrival with the offer of a drink.  
“Nah, reckon I’ll pass,” Callum smiled in return.  
“Ya alright?” Ben suspected he already knew the answer from the other man’s posture alone, which looked too rigid, too forced.  
“Bit weirded out…” Callum admitted, taking a deep breath. He’d been undecided up to this point as to whether he was actually going to confess Whitney’s minor indiscretion or not. “She tried to kiss me…”

Ben swirled his whisky around its glass for a moment, then took a short sip. “Reckon I’d of probably tried the same in her shoes…” He gave an enigmatic smile. “Ya sure you don’t want a drink?”  
Callum met this sense of calm understanding with a grateful wince. “Maybe just a swig of yours?”

Ben smiled easily & passed the glass across, their fingers glancing. He watched on as his man took a steadying sip, allowing his eyes to shut at the sensation of the warm liquid passing down his throat. “Ya wanna talk about it?”  
Callum’s eyes reopened & engaged those of the younger man. “You don’t need to…”  
“Yeah, I do…” Ben asserted softly. “Date or not, you’re still a mate first & foremost, so if you need to talk, I’m here to listen…”

Callum’s bones seemed to relent a little at that suggestion, his tautness subsiding a tad. He even managed the smallest of chuckles. “Are you tellin’ me maybe a bit of kindness ain’t such a weakness after all?”  
Ben responded with a dismissive shake of his head, snatching the glass back to imbibe some more of its contents himself. “Talk…”

\- - -

Callum did talk, & Ben listened attentively to every word. It was what needed to happen, he understood, if there was any hope of the more carefree Callum of earlier returning to him any time soon. He knew occasional shadows would still be cast in Callum’s world by misgivings from the past, but so desperately wanted him to see the light could always be found again there in his company. 

“Oh well, it sounds like it couldn’t of gone better then,” Ben smiled to show his ease with the conversation. “Bar the near miss kiss, obviously,” he waved a hand of acknowledgement.  
Callum permitted himself a nervous smile, his weight shifting from one foot to the other. “Just my brother I’ve gotta worry about now, hey?”  
Ben engaged him in an earnest gaze, settling his hands to the front of Callum’s jacket to ease himself into his man’s space. “Tell you what, why don’t you stop worrying about everyone else & just start enjoyin’ yourself heh?”  
Callum relaxed into the assertion & leant forward for a kiss, both of them emerging from it with a smile, which was all the encouragement Ben needed to lead them away.

He paused as they emerged out on to the street & turned back to stand directly in front of Callum, knowing he was trying hard, but still able to sense some obvious tension. “Relax, yeah…” Ben’s palms flattened to Callum’s upper arms & rubbed gently up & down. “Bring back that flirty, fun-loving guy you showed me earlier…”

Indecisive eyes blinked back at his plea, before Callum’s hands planted to either side of Ben’s face. They both knew this was the telling precursor to intensity, not carefree spirit. Case in point being previous such occasions in the Mitchells’ kitchen; the Beales’ front room. 

Ben leant his forehead to Callum’s before the taller man found the means to engage any kiss. Passionate, fiery exchanges were so often Ben’s lifeblood, but that wasn’t what either of them needed on this night. Every action & any response needed to be instinctive, not reactive. Most definitely not driven by any inadequacies Callum felt over his ex. “Don’t force it; I know he’ll come back to me when he’s ready…” Ben pecked a kiss to Callum’s cheek, then guided the older man’s hands down, slipping his own into one of them, starting to lead them away once more.

“Where…where we goin’?” Callum stirred from his trance to question.  
“Back to mine,” Ben declared simply. “Sit on the sofa, watch some nonsense on tv, get in some practice at bein’ handsy?” He beamed an encouraging smile. “Let’s just go with the flow, yeah?”


	14. Chapter 14

## Narrative continuation of scene from 18/10/19

It wasn't long after they'd settled on the sofa that Ben first felt the weight of Callum's gaze upon him. "Eyes right, soldier, or you'll be giving this civilian a complex..." He opted to make light of the situation, testing the waters as to the other man’s state of mind. He could sense the tension was steadily easing, but was uncertain as to how swiftly.  
Callum complied, returning his attention to the TV screen, but it wasn't long until his attention wandered again, drawn to Ben's face like a moth to a flame.

"What?" Ben queried, with a firm accent on the final consonant. "Do I have something stuck to my face or…?" Again, he left Callum with the open opportunity to make of the situation whatever he wanted. 

"Just admirin’ the view," Callum confided quietly.  
Ben smiled, but also picked up on the thinly-disguised hesitance in his man's voice. He could readily empathise. Stepping over the threshold of the closet into the private quarters of your first openly gay relationship was a big deal for Callum now, just aa it had been for Ben previously.

With little fanfare, Ben switched off the television & turned his body to face Callum. "You don’t have to take this anywhere you ain’t completely comfortable with. Enjoyin’ yourself & bein’ comfortable in your own skin is everythin’. Ok?".

Callum nodded his understanding, taking some private solace from the compassion Ben was showing him. He felt his inner confidence rise a little; enough to give voice to something that had been inwardly bothering him for a while.

"Could you," Callum started too hesitantly, so cleared his throat before starting again. "Would you mind doin’ me a favour?"  
"Anythin’," Ben agreed eagerly - maybe a little too eagerly, he privately chastised himself - edging his weight a little closer to reduce the gap between them.  
"Can we cut out the army references? It ain't really helpin’ to set the right mood for me..."

"Course," Ben acquiesced without protest, sensing there was more to that request than it immediately seemed. He made a mental note that was another layer of the man he needed to peel back & explore in due course. But not here, not now, particularly if that subject made Callum uneasy.

"Thanks," Callum appeared genuinely relieved, if still a little lost in his own perception of the gravity of this evening's date. He gave a slight shake to his head, as if to throw off the demons clinging to him, then gently leant forward to gather the lapels of Ben's shirt in his hands, seemingly about to draw the man within it towards him.

Callum didn't follow through on the movement though, leaving them both suspended in time, there in the centre of the sofa. Sensing his own inadequacy, & seeking to disguise it from Ben - as if he could - Callum left one hand against Ben's shirt, but raised his right hand to lightly cup his cheek.

Ben responded with a soft, appeasing smile & lifted his own right hand to Callum's face in return. He was about to give voice to a thought, but was surprised to find Callum's hand travel up to softly encase his hand & guide it away. "Would you mind if we do this my way for now?" Callum entreated earnestly, pausing briefly to deliver a tender kiss to the fingers of Ben's hand.

Ben tilted his head a little to one side, to demonstrate the due consideration he was giving to this request, noting Callum's right hand still remained tenderly in place at the side of his own face throughout. He readily settled on being compliant.

Drawing in a long breath of satisfaction, & releasing it again at equal leisure, Ben casually leant his side into the sofa, extending his right arm along its top. Wanting to demonstrate his absolute ease with the scenario that was playing out, he then allowed his eyes to shut lightly & focused solely on the touch of Callum's hand on his face.

The suspicion had been settling in his mind of late that Callum struggled under the weight of his gaze on occasion. He always closed his eyes when they kissed, Ben had already noted. Whereas the younger, but more experienced, man loved to be looked upon & look upon, Callum sometimes wilted under the scrutiny Ben's ardent eyes. It was a coyness that Ben secretly adored, but he understood why Callum might struggle under any such intensity of expression at this moment.

Callum, who had so far continued to remain silent & still, was privately enchanted that Ben was accepting of his wishes & so at ease in granting them.

Slowly, tenderly, Callum extended his thumb out & began to trace it along the contours & definitions of Ben's face. He traced from chin to ear & back again, then followed an upward curve that extended beyond the corner of his lips to the edge of his eye. With the utmost care, his thumb then skirted along his cheekbone, finally coming to rest at the corner tip of Ben's lower lip.

With all his other senses out of play, Ben had been tantalised by the caress of Callum. It had been sending waves of tiny electric signals down his spine & invigorating every pore on his skin as it was touched. He'd had to breathe slow, shallow breaths throughout to keep himself steady & grounded. He already secretly thrilled at the total unknown of where Callum may roam next.

The answer soon came, as Callum's thumb passed slowly along his lips, prompting the involuntary response of Ben licking his lips. He was powerless to deny that he was thirsty for Callum's lips on his, but knew he had to stay patient. 

Even with his eyes still shut, Ben could feel a subtle change in Callum's demeanour. He sensed they were closer in proximity than before; could almost hear the pound of Callum's beating heart...Or was that his own? For Ben, the definitions were already blurring of where he ended & Callum began.

He sensed movement again, & took in a deep breath in expectation of whatever was to come. Callum had now lifted his other hand to Ben's face, & was cupping his cheeks lightly on either side. For Ben this was ecstasy & torture all rolled into one & he was utterly captivated by it.

Out of the ether, Ben felt Callum's lips press all too briefly to his face, delivering a short, sweet kiss to his cheekbone. Further similar kisses swiftly followed, as Callum proceeded to shower them liberally around Ben's features.  
Ben was unable to prevent a short moan of sheer pleasure escape from his lips.

As the kisses relented, Ben could feel Callum's head hadn't withdrawn its proximity to his face; the warmth of his breath causing the bristles of Ben's stubble to stand to attention. Surely it was illegal to enthrall a partner in such rapture?

The effect of keeping his eyes closed while wearing contact lenses was starting an itch in Ben's eyes. Slowly, reluctantly, he allowed them to open again, to find Callum staring into him intently, as if boring a hole into his soul. There was a subtle change to the intensity of his stare though; gone was the previous inner turmoil, replaced now by wonderment & longing.

Ben could recognise also though that there was a hesitance in Callum's expression, as if he now wasn't sure how to progress what he had instigated. Ben raised both arms to hold his palms level with, but still not touching, Callum's hands, which remained cupped to his face. "May I?" he prompted softly.

Callum gave his blessing with a nod, at which Ben tenderly encased Callum's hands with his own - or as best he could given the size difference - & guided them down between them, depositing a small kiss upon them from his own lips on the way.

"I need to give back to you every single sensation you just gave me, because that was something very, very special Callum Highway..." Ben asserted calmly, recognising that his partner needed the reassurance of knowing just how tantalising & so very right each & every touch had been.

"Close your eyes..." Ben prompted ardently, as he raised his hand to Callum's face. They both knew Callum would have been unlikely to submit to such a request had Ben not already led by example.

Replicating every tenderness of touch Callum had earlier lavished on him, Ben's thumb now traced the exact same pattern across his face. He could feel Callum relax into his touch a little more with every second that lapsed. 

Wanting Callum to experience the full thrill of anticipating where his touch would wander next, Ben went off piste, tracing additional contours along his hairline & towards his ear. Callum it transpired was slightly less successful at keeping his breathing under control in the face of such intimacy, gasping audibly on several occasions.

Ben cupped his head with both hands & began to scatter tiny kisses across his features, straying again from Callum's earlier pattern, this time sprinkling them against his Adam's apple, at which thrilling sensation Callum's eyes opened abruptly. "Jesus Ben," he exclaimed without inhibition.

Still occupied with applying sensory overload to Callum's neck, Ben looked upwards on hearing his exclamation, & was proud to be met by the lustful look in his expression. Ben opened his mouth to speak, but found himself silenced by Callum holding a finger to his lips, which he then dropped beneath Ben's chin to lift his head back level with his own.

Ben assumed a kiss was imminent, so was surprised when Callum shunned his mouth in favour of pressing his lips to Ben's neck. Callum's hands idled their way down the front of Ben's shirt, where they became occupied with loosening the garment one button at a time.

Ben's impatience to be busy with his own hands led him in search of the buttons of Callum's shirt, but he soon found his hands were batted away. "I choose the pace, remember?" Callum whispered into his ear. With that he ran both hands down & then back up Ben's newly-exposed torso, before slipping the shirt from his shoulders, letting it fall onto the sofa.

One of Callum's hands then returned to Ben's chest, splaying his palm out flat against it. With a gentle push, he was guiding Ben to sit back on the sofa. He began to speckle delicate kisses all along Ben's collarbone, from one side of his body to the other. The space between them ever decreasing as Callum had to lean in closer, yet closer to reach.

Ben ran an idle hand through his own hair as he focused on the sensation of Callum's roaming hands & lips once again. It was becoming clear that for Callum to feel comfortable in his own skin, he first needed to feel comfortable near Ben's, hence this most exquisite exploration of each other's bodies was taking place. 

Ben was suddenly taken with the notion he could quite happily surrender to this all night, as he leant his head back and draped his arm over his eyes, while Callum continued his descent downwards along his breastbone...

The shrill scream from upstairs stopped both Ben & & Callum in their tracks instantaneously. Ben knew the sound immediately of course, but treasured his last few seconds of bliss.  
"What was that noise?" Callum appeared from nowhere to look Ben square in the eyes, but the latter didn't have time enough to respond.  
"Daddyyyyy......”  
Ben exhaled a sigh of greater consequence. "Sorry - I have to go to her..." He planted the softest of kisses to Callum's lips.  
"Of course you do," Callum accepted without question, only to receive a further tender nip to his lips.

"Down boy..." Ben muttered, quietly but not quietly enough.  
Callum responded with a quizzical glance.  
"Not you, " Ben reassured him calmly, "I was talking to this bad boy..." Having captured Callum's gaze, he diverted both their eyes in the direction of his aroused lap.  
"Ah," Callum conceded softly. "Not much I can instantly help you with there I'm afraid..."

Ben planted the shortest of kisses to the lips of his beau. "Hold each & every one of those thoughts..." he prompted, before making towards the stairs. "Help yourself to a beer from the fridge," he directed Callum, "I won't be long..."

With an unexpected burst of energy, Ben vaulted the baby gate at the foot of the stairs, instead of opening it.  
Callum watched on in awe; not least that Ben could even walk with that sort of erection, let alone complete a near gymnastic manoeuvre. He glanced down at his own lap, similarly aroused. & opted to remain where he was for a few moments


	15. Chapter 15

## Narrative continuation of scene from 18/10/19

Callum eventually did as Ben had prompted, & retrieved himself a beer from the fridge. He took one for Ben too.

Having rested the bottles on the table, he couldn't help but crane his ears upstairs. He could hear the tender, soothing tones of Ben's voice, without making out exactly what was being said.

Gathering the beers up again, he collapsed back down on the sofa, taking a swig from his bottle before leaving both to one side. In anticipation of Ben's return, he leant his head back towards the ceiling & tried to remember what had been.

\- - - 

On hearing Ben make his final descent of the stairs, Callum reopened his eyes.  
"Sorry about that..." Ben conceded, briefly placing an apologetic hand to his partner's shoulder.  
"Is Lexi ok?" Callum voiced his genuine concern.  
"Fast asleep again now," Ben shrugged as he moved back to take his seat on the sofa. "Sorry...again".  
"Absolutely no apology needed," Callum reassured softly. "Lexi needed her dad & you were there for her. That is everything".

Ben swallowed down a lump in his throat, recognising how much damage the lack of a father figure had done to both of them individually.   
"Got ya a beer..." Callum interjected, leaning forward to gather up both bottles in his hand & pass one across.   
"Ta," Ben tilted the neck of the vessel in thanks, before taking a lingering swig as his weight began to settle against the sofa's arm. His equilibrium was taking a moment to adjust back from doting parent to attentive lover though; combining those two facets of his life had never previously been on the cards. Until now.

"Does she often have nightmares?" Callum leant his head casually back against the rear of the sofa, cupping the bottle in his hand to his chest & allowing his eyes to drift lazily shut.  
"Every now & then," Ben conceded, automatically raising a hand to ruffle it through Callum's hair. He wasn't so much seeking to resume the enchantment of earlier; he just craved the reconnection of contact between them. He was gratified to see Callum didn't startle at his touch, which was instead reacted to with a relaxed grin emerging across his features. "When she does have one though, it's always her Dad she shouts for..." Ben reflected distractedly. 

Callum opened his eyes to find Ben studying him intently. "Can't exactly fault the kid for that, can ya?" He engaged their eyes in a captivating gaze. "Who wouldn't want those strong arms of yours wrapped around them when they're feeling upset or insecure?" It was a striking admission that caught them both off guard with its honest simplicity. 

"Come 'ere," Ben beckoned, indicating that Callum was welcome to seek his own personal refuge there in his arms.  
Callum accepted the invitation readily, shifting his body position to lean into Ben's side. He felt instantly at home & at ease there. As Ben dropped his head to Callum's hair & began to drink in the aroma of his shampoo, they threatened to slip into a companionable reverie, until a disappointing discrepancy was noted by the younger man. 

"Why is it, Mr Highway, that I'm sitting here with my shirt off, & you're still fully clothed?" Ben muttered through hot breath into the other man’s hair.  
"That's simple," Callum tilted his head upwards to display a grin. "You're a cheap date while I got class..."  
"Is that so?" Ben raised a questioning eyebrow to accompany the developing smirk on his face. "The thing is, I'm all about equality in relationships me, so either your shirt comes off too, or..." He paused for dramatic effect, taking in a sharp breath of air. "Or unfortunately mine's gonna have to go back on..." He rolled his eyes & pursed his lips in demonstration of the impossible position he was faced with.

"Well that's an easy one, ain't it?" Callum sat up to briefly feign retrieving Ben's shirt from the floor, before instead placing his beer bottle on the table. His hands then returned to his own body to steadily unbutton his own shirt. "Can't have you thinkin' we're anything but equals in this relationship..." He slid the shirt from his back, catching Ben in the act of taking in an appreciative eyeful of what was now on display. 

"Mmm, that's more like it," Ben purred in appreciation. "Now, where were we?" He patted the seat cushion beside him, prompting Callum to resume his previous position cuddled into him. This - the skin-to-skin contact in the still of the night - was everything they both needed right now. Ben delivered a protracted & intentionally motionless kiss to Callum's shoulder. "Stunning..." he eventually whispered to his ear. "You are simply stunning..." he repeated, admiring the giant of a man nestling in beside him; a giant in every sense of its meaning. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying in earnest to post an update a day all week, as I suspect there will be much fodder to write up over Christmas...Not entirely convinced I'm ready to write heartbroken Ballum though

## Narrative continuation of scene from 18/10/19

It was some time later that Ben eased the empty, horizontal beer bottle from Callum's grasp & discarded it down on the floor. The irony wasn't lost on him that this was now the second person of the night to fall asleep in his arms, following on from Lexi. He hadn't permitted himself any preconceptions as to how their evening would develop once they left the Vic, so was at ease with this outcome. Undoubtable, undeniable development in their relationship had occurred after all. 

Callum was evidently someone sleep came easily to - hardly surprising really given his intrinsic good spirit & nature. Sleep for Ben though had always been something torturous for as long as he could remember: nightmares & incidents of bed wetting had punctuated his earliest years, while sleep in prison was always regulated by the need for self preservation & constant awareness of those around you. Even now, back in the family home, his sleep patterns were irregular & largely restless. 

Ben's mind drifted away up the stairs to thoughts of his daughter &, more specifically, her alignment with the blossoming relationship between himself & Callum. Lexi knew her father was gay, in so much as any 7-year-old could understand the term, & openly embraced the concept with a pride bestowed by childhood innocence. Ben had always taken absolute care though to shield her from his reality of casual hook ups & one-night stands, all of which had been conducted away from the family home, under the cover of darkness or within the anonymity of a stranger's living space. Everything here now with Callum was so totally different to anything that had gone before. 

Lexi knew Callum from chance encounters on the Square, in the Caff or similar, & importantly Lexi liked Callum. She could see & relate to many of the attributes that had drawn her father to the man: his giddying, unrelenting eagerness for fun; his expressive features, which always betrayed a story; his constant sense of compassion, warmth & inclusivity. Of course, there were various other attributes that stood out to Ben, but they weren't suitable for a child's ears or thoughts. 

It weighed on Ben's conscience, though, how he could marry the two worlds together - he would always remain fiercely protective of Lexi's happiness, & Callum understood, even respected that, taking care not to overstep the mark. Yet here they were, close together, with Lexi just a staircase away from them, with Ben already frequently imagining Callum on his body, in his bed, mere metres from where his daughter slept. There was a validity to those thoughts that both terrified & inspired him in equal measure.

He looked down at Callum's sleeping form: mouth slightly ajar, catching flies; feet cascading over the far arm of the sofa as his limbs were too lanky to be more readily contained. He was sleeping the sleep of a peaceful man, Ben could tell, from his even tempo of breathing & relaxed facial features. He was sleeping the sort of sleep people like Ben could only aspire to & crave. Still, even if sleep wouldn't come for him, Ben could perhaps imbibe some of Callum's restful spirit by lying with him & watching over him. Moving ever so gently, not wanting to disturb Callum's slumber. He reached for the throw on the back of the sofa & slid his weight down, in the barely there gap between it & Callum. Resting his head against the sofa's arm, he wrapped the loosest of arms round Callum's waist, draped the throw across them both & closed his eyes.  



	17. Chapter 17

## Narrative continuation of scene from 18/10/19

Ben roused at the suspicion he'd heard a noise, although nothing was instantly apparent. It was still dark, save the illumination of the street light outside, there was nobody stirring in the house, & Callum remained still & asleep, his prone body right alongside him. 

It was an irony that of the pair of them the one with the hearing impediment had woken while the other remained dead to the world.

Ben rubbed irritably at his eyes, knowing a night in his contact lenses never served him well. He must have eventually dropped off at some point, as he could remember lying next to Callum, breathing in his scent, his skin, his being, for what had seemed an eternity.

A noise emerged through the dark, but this time Ben was alert enough to recognise it. The milkman had just deposited two fresh pints at the door & whirred away in his unsatisfactorily slow motor.

That narrowed the time down a little, but Ben needed a further clue. His own watch, which he had removed in the night, was now beyond reach on the floor, as Callum lay like a dead weight against him. His partner's watch face, though, was clearly visible, so he reached across in an attempt to squint at it.

The hands on the watch had minor illumination effects, but through his blurry eyes he couldn't make the time out. It was one of those all-singing, all-dancing watches though, so he knew one of the tiny buttons on it must give more light to its display.

"Just don't set off an alarm," he mumbled softly to himself as he selected at random which button to press. 

"Shit, shit, shit," he groaned as an alarm promptly went off on his pressing of the button. He fumbled around the watch face until it silenced itself again.

Ben glanced at Callum to find him still soundly asleep, & muttered something to himself about a greater likelihood of waking the dead.

He sought out another button on the watch, this time finding himself taken to a menu that offered a reset of time zone. "Are you having a scooby?" Ben countered, "who on earth would choose to have such a ridiculous watch?" He then thanked his lucky stars Callum hadn't been awake to hear him reference a popular children’s' cartoon character - he had his hard man image to maintain after all.

Finally, on the third attempt, he found the button he wanted, which lit the screen up to dazzling effect.

5.15am

Still so early in most peoples' books, but not so for this house. Taking a reticent deep breath, Ben reluctantly ventured to speak out loud. "Cal..." There was no response, so he pressed again, this time a little louder. "Callum. " With still no answer he repeated the name again, this time applying a gentle squeeze to the skin above Callum's rib cage.

Ben watched on as Callum slowly came to, along with the emergence of varying emotional responses across his features: first off, annoyance at being woken; followed by confusion as to his location; followed by a dawning realisation that he was in Ben's arms; with the final crescendo of uncertainty as to what had led them to this point.  
Ben instantly sought to reassure him with a tender stroke to his shoulder. "We both fell asleep on the sofa; nothing more, nothing less".

Callum squirmed his body around awkwardly until he was facing Ben. "What time is it?"  
"Just a bit after 5am," Ben informed him softly.  
"And exactly how long we been here for?" Callum was already feeling the effects of a restricted night's sleep on the sofa.  
"About 6 hours by my reckoning," Ben affirmed gently, but already knew more was needed.

"Cal, I could quite happily stay here for another few hours without any trouble, but I needed to wake you to give you the choice..." He ran a cajoling palm against the man’s face, then continued. "This house will start yawning into life soon...Mum to do the early bird shift at the Caff; Ian to start annoying people, Lex to get ready for school...I'm happy whatever, but this needs to be your decision..."

Callum gave a nod of his head in understanding as he gave some thought to the scenario. “I should probably go…”  
Ben appeared displeased at that statement. “It ain’t about what you think you should do; it’s about what you want to do…”

Callum’s eyes narrowed, deep in thought, as they stared into Ben’s, as if seeking the answer there. “I want to stay…” he began tentatively, “…but I also want to do this the right way, for you & Lexi’s sake, so I’m gonna go…”  
Ben tilted his head. “Let’s be clear on this from the start yeah? I have no issue with Lexi knowin’ this is where we’re at…I mean, so long as you don’t either. I know it ain’t everyone’s cup of tea to date a guy with a kid in tow…” There was a sudden apprehension apparent in his voice & manner.

Callum raised a finger to Ben’s lips to hush him. “I love that you & Lexi come as a package deal. I wouldn’t have it any other way…”  
“Yeah?” Ben still sought to clarify, a little uncertain.  
“Yeah,” Callum affirmed, leaning in to deliver a delicate kiss to the other man’s lips. He withdrew with a gentle smile emerging across his features. “To be fair though, no one needs to be faced with the sight of me half naked first thing in the mornin’…”

Ben’s spirit was immediately prompted into a return. “I do,” he made his honest declaration. “I can’t think of a finer sight to be faced with every mornin’…” A smirk of mischief twitched across his mouth. “Although maybe not just half naked?” He observed the now familiar flush radiate to Callum’s cheeks, able to see first-hand its spread down his chest. It was then his turn to lean in for a kiss. “I am gonna keep givin’ you these compliments until you let yourself believe they’re true, ya know…” 

Their heads remained in close proximity. “I know ya are,” Callum conceded with a chuckle. “And you’re just gonna have to accept I have no idea how to handle them, so every time you do it I’ll silence your chatter with a kiss…”  
“Mmm,” Ben hummed his approval as their lips joined together once more. “Now that I can work with…”

\- - -

It was some considerable time – not to mention kissing – later that Callum was finally buttoning up his shirt, & Ben restoring some order to the overly disturbed cushions on the sofa. “Ya sure you don’t wanna coffee before ya go?”  
“Nah, you’re alright,” Callum responded easily. “I’ll grab somethin’ back at the flat once I’ve had a shower”.  
“Perfectly good working shower here too ya know,” Ben moved across to stand behind his man, wrapping his hands around his waist & planting a kiss against his shoulder blade.  
“Yeah, but not so many distractions back at my flat…” Callum turned in his arms. “Somethin’ tells me if I took a shower here I might get more than I bargained for…”  
“Only if you asked very nicely,” Ben quirked an eyebrow. “So…we gonna be seein’ each other again any time soon?”  
“D’ya know, I reckon we just might…” Callum smiled, with the plan already forming in his mind that might be even sooner than Ben could imagine.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I’ve moved this scene from where it actually sat in the Eastenders timeline to better suit my narrative. The premise is still the same – Callum has turned up at the Car Lot, asking Ben if he’s got time for breakfast, which he’s agreed to once they’ve walked Lexi to school.  
Just happen to think this sits quite neatly here in my narrative as a follow on from the previous night they shared on the sofa.  
This is one of my favourite chapters to date; thanks to the ‘Enders script writers for teeing me up so well!

## Narrative continuation of scene originally aired 14/10/19 (Relocated within timeline of this fic)

Callum bustled down the steps from the Car Lot portakabin in swift pursuit of Ben, who was still carrying Lexi in his arms, albeit now protesting. “Ain’t you getting a bit too big to be carried around by me now?”  
She flashed him a sweet smile. “I’ll walk everywhere if we get a dog daddy…” Clearly her earlier ploy of persuading her father into getting a canine companion wasn’t yet complete.  
Ben shook his head at her sheer audacity, although truthfully more in admiration of it than disapproval. “Help me out here will ya Callum?” He stopped to turn & face the older man, who was still in the process of catching them up. “Reasons why this little madam ain’t getting a dog any time soon…”

Callum shoved his hands in his pockets & shrugged. “I quite like dogs actually; always wanted one when I was a kid…” He winked a conspiratorial eye at the young girl.  
“Unbelievable,” Ben grumbled, although with obvious amusement sparkling in his eyes.  
“You’re out voted daddy,” she beamed triumphantly. “Two votes to one”.  
“Right well,” Ben leant down to deposit his daughter down on the ground on her own two feet. “If you pair are gonna gang up on me, you can ask Callum to carry you next time you’re being a lazy bones…” He cast a side glance in Callum’s direction. “And if he’s got any sense, he’ll refuse”. 

That final comment was lost on Lexi, who was already distracted at the sight of the playground in front of them. “Can I go on the swings daddy?”  
“Er excuse me madam, but are we not on our way to school?” Ben countered sternly. “School now, swings later”. He rolled his eyes in Callum’s direction in mock objection to his daughter’s wiles, as she began to skip her way along the street & they followed on behind.

Confident that his daughter was safe in her occupation, Ben looked across at the man walking alongside him, moving a little closer to narrow the gap between them. “So, when we said earlier this morning that we’d see each other soon, I’m not sure I’d banked on it being this soon. Is it even three hours since you clambered up off my sofa?”  
“Thought you might be missing me,” Callum grinned sheepishly.  
“Ya did, did ya?” Ben teased, his fingers momentarily seeking out Callum’s palm to tickle it. They shared a knowing smile between them. 

“Might wanna be careful you don’t use up all your Ben Mitchell tokens in the space of 24 hours mind,” Ben chuckled mischievously. “What with overnighting on my sofa, now breakfast…And then who knows how many more tokens you’ll spend tonight…” His eyes were fixed to Lexi, now some way ahead of them, but the corner of his mouth was twitching in amusement.

“I’ll just buy up more tokens as I need them,” Callum countered boldly. “What’s the going rate for these tokens of yours?”  
Ben couldn’t stifle the smirk of delight spreading across his features. “Special offer on at the moment,” he raised an eyebrow suggestively. “The more you spend, the more you get back…”  
Callum beamed. “And is that just an introductory offer, or…” 

“Lex – wait there please. No crossing the road without me…” Ever watchful of his daughter, Ben deviated from their flirting to ensure her safety, then immediately returned his attentions to Callum with a delicious spark in his eyes. “I’m sure we can come to some sort of mutually beneficial deal…”

They closed in on Lexi & Ben held his hand out for hers, which she readily accepted before turning her attention to Callum. “You need to hold my hand now Callum,” she insisted brightly. “We’re about to cross the road…”  
A mixture of bemusement, pride & uncertainty swept across Callum’s features at the request, so he looked to Ben in search of both permission & reassurance.  
“Come on now Callum, don’t keep my little girl waiting,” Ben laughed brightly, giving the briefest nod of his head to assure the other man he was comfortable with this scenario. 

With the child’s hands safely entwined in those of the two men, the trio crossed the road & continued on their way, Lexi insisting that they all continued holding hands. “I like you Callum,” Lexi began to babble happily. “Do you like me?”  
“I do, yeah,” Callum confirmed easily, acknowledging privately that he adored this kid, given she was the embodiment of all her father’s finest qualities.

Lexi tilted her head upwards towards Ben. “Do you like Callum daddy?”  
Callum couldn’t resist a look across to the other man on hearing that question, & noted that increasingly familiar twitch flicker at the edge of his lips. Ben’s eyes remained resolutely fixed to the pavement ahead though as he gave his measured response. “Sure do princess…”

“And you Callum?” Lexi addressed him in turn. “Do you like my Daddy?”  
It was Ben’s turn to be attentive to the other man’s response, slanting his head to look over in his direction. Their eyes met across his daughter. “I like him very much,” Callum affirmed softly. His words were enriched by the engaging smile he shared with Ben.

An amicable silence developed for a few moments: Lexi apparently satisfied with the answers she had received; Callum quietly absorbing the charm of the situation he found himself in; Ben privately questioning how he could have ever doubted this dynamic would work.

“Callum…” Lexi’s line of questioning threatened to start again.  
“I think Callum’s probably had enough of your questions for one day baby,” Ben interjected gently. “He thought he was coming out for breakfast, not the Spanish inquisition…”  
“I honestly don’t mind,” Callum intervened with a casual wave of his free hand. “Go right ahead Lexi…” The little girl beamed up at Callum while he simultaneously exchanged a furtive glance in her father’s direction.

“Callum,” she repeated his name to ensure he knew the following question was directed at him. “If you were the weather, what would you be?”  
Ben half choked on his incredulity, shaking his head to demonstrate it further to Callum. “What ever sort of question is that baby?”  
Lexi wasn’t to be deterred. “What would you be Callum? Thunder? Wind? Snow?”

“Give me strength…” Ben muttered under his breath, glancing across to Callum apologetically. He found the other man deep in thought though, giving very serious consideration to the question.  
“Oh, that’s a good question Lexi,” Callum praised. “I’d like to think that I’d be sunshine…always able to brighten up anyone’s day…”

Lexi nodded her head in absolute approval at his sentiment. “And you Daddy; what would you be?”  
“Can’t say I’ve ever given that one much thought princess,” Ben tried to argue his way out of contributing.  
“Well give it some thought now Daddy,” Lexi insisted.  
“Yeah Daddy, go on,” Callum goaded, delighting in the opportunity to side with the little girl again, to her father’s obvious bemusement.

“Fine,” Ben play sulked. “I’d be the rain. I’d be a really annoying, persistent rain cloud that sits above Lexi Pearce & Callum Highway all day, every day, & soaks them so much that they don’t ask & answer irrelevant questions any more…” Having delivered his child-friendly answer, Ben briefly pressed a hand to either of Lexi’s ears to prevent her from hearing what he was about to say, tilting his body to the other man. “Making sure Callum Highway is permanently soaked to the skin, so he has to keep taking all his clothes off...” He delivered it with deadpan accuracy, only giving away his naughtiness at the very end with a wink directed to Callum as he removed his hands from his daughter’s ears.

“Daddy!” The little girl immediately protested. “Don’t do that!”  
Ben shrugged. “Callum dared me to baby…”  
Callum shook his head in disbelief at the other man’s blatant fib, using his free hand to flick a finger to Ben’s ear in protest.  
Ben took in a short breath of playful exasperation, returning his own shake of the head.

“Well then Daddy, Callum’s very naughty isn’t he?” Lexi chimed in, utterly oblivious to the flirtation taking place above her peripheral vision.  
“He’s very, very naughty…” Ben agreed with his daughter, fixing Callum in an engaging gaze, then issuing a flick of his own fingers to the taller man’s ear. As their eyes drifted away from one another, they were both left with the distinct impression they would be returning to that play fight in a later, more private moment.

Ben regathered his daughter’s hand in his & they made their final approach to the school in a silence that was only disturbed by Lexi humming a song out loud.  
“Right then missy, consider yourself officially dropped off,” Ben leant down to peck a kiss to his daughter’s cheek. “Ya Mum’s pickin’ you up later alright?”  
“Love you daddy,” she briefly flung her arms round his neck.  
“Love ya too,” Ben affirmed softly.  
Lexi then skipped off on her happy way, offering a wave as she went. “Bye Callum…”  
“Bye little one,” Callum responded, increasingly awestruck by the family scene that was playing out before him.

Ben rose slowly back to his feet, plunging his hands into his jacket pockets for warmth against the autumn chill. “Y’alright?”  
“Yeah,” Callum confirmed with a fond smile. “Although has your daughter just been testing me on my potential suitability to be with you?”  
Ben tilted his head & went to say something, but was cut off by the sudden unexpected return of his daughter.  
“Daddy, daddy, daddy,” she tugged at his hand to grab his attention.  
“It can’t be home time already?” he teased.  
“No silly,” she sighed, “but I just thought of something…If Callum’s the sunshine & you’re the rain, that must make me a rainbow…”

“I guess so baby…” Ben confirmed thoughtfully, tugging gently on her ponytail. “Now off to school with ya…” He watched on into the middle distance as his daughter disappeared from view, then turned to Callum, who was visibly astounded at the connection Lexi had made, even if she wasn’t really aware of its symbolism in respect of his relationship with her father.

“Catching flies ain’t your finest look Cal,” Ben muttered softly, stepping into Callum’s personal space to raise a finger to his chin & push his mouth gently closed. “From the mouths of babes, hey?” he smiled warmly, apparently equally enchanted at his daughter’s sentiment. “Now, about that breakfast you wanted to buy me, I am famished…”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those seeking some respite from the current Ballum heartache, I can offer the minor consolation that all is well in this fic for the foreseeable - well definitely the next 10 chapters or so - bar the obvious occasional blip.
> 
> Looks like I've got me some heartbreak unseen scenes to write over Christmas - with any luck, by the time this fic is facing up to those, Ballum will be back on track on our screens...
> 
> Anyway, a bit of classic cheeky Ben to brighten your day...

## Unseen scene 19/10/19

  
Now seated in the Caff tucking into their breakfasts, Ben expelled an over-dramatic yawn, raising his arms to the ceiling to stretch out his upper body out & up. "Anyone would think I spent last night bunched up on a sofa with the man of my dreams," he winked playfully across the table at Callum. 

"Behave yourself Benjamin," Callum warned with a raise of an eyebrow.  
"What?" Ben protested, a delicious smirk spreading across his features. "Can't help it can I, if last night's left me feeling...stiff..." He left his words hanging in the air, observing Callum's response intently.

"Ben, your Mum is just over there, serving behind the counter, so I ain't gonna rise to it,".  
"Mmm," Ben leant forward in his seat, propping his chin in his right hand. "Now that is a shame..." Unbeknown to Callum, Ben's other hand was making swift progress beneath the table to reach his thigh, where his fingers were immediately creeping their way in the direction of his crotch.

Ben felt his hand swatted away just as the crimson flush of realisation reached Callum's cheeks. He sat back in his chair, evidently satisfied with his morning's flirtation, & ate another forkful of his breakfast.

Callum watched him fondly, albeit still trying to portray an air of gentle disapproval. "Do you ever quit being quite so distracting?"

An almost bewitching sense of mischief radiated from Ben's eyes, as he steadily placed his knife & fork against his plate, freeing up a hand to first waggle a finger & then point it towards Callum. "Do you really want to be starting a conversation with me here about driving someone to distraction Callum Highway?" He leant forward & lowered his tone against prying ears. "When that's exactly what you were doing to me last night? You had me like putty in your hands with each & every one of those slow touches & kisses".

Callum shuffled his weight forward a little to maintain their privacy. "Was that...was that alright for you then?" The question had been playing on his mind ever since Ben had made it clear last night just how aroused he'd become by their exploratory intimacy on the sofa. Callum just hadn't ever worked out whether he really had turned Ben on, or just frustrated him with his slow, methodical approach.

"Alright?" Ben repeated in utter disbelief. "It was so much better than alright Callum. It was the most sensual thing I've ever experienced. You'd of turned me inside out if we'd gone on much longer..."

Callum couldn't resist the beam that spread across his face. This was such foreign territory to him, to hear he was getting at least some of it right was a welcome boost to his self-confidence.

"So come on then," Ben rested a hand to Callum's on the table. "You've got me intrigued; what was last night about?"

"Just getting my bearings..." Callum shrugged & admitted openly, to which Ben responded receptively with a soft stroke of his thumb along his man's hand. They didn't look at each other, instead watching the path the digit traced, evoking memories of the previous night for both of them.

Eventually, Ben released their hands & settled back to his breakfast, skewering a sausage with his fork. "So, if you fancied getting a few more of those bearings..." he began to suggest quietly, sincerely, while lifting the fork to his mouth. "We could work on that again some more tonight?"

Drawn by the soft compassion of Ben's tone, Callum lifted his gaze to meet that of the other man across the table. Just in time to see Ben take three quarters of the sausage lengthways into his mouth at one time, accompanied by a suggestive smirk.

Callum nearly choked on his breakfast this time. "Ben!" he chastised, so loudly that various occupants of the cafe looked over in their direction.

Ben chortled to himself at the successful climax of his flirtatious game. "So can I take that as a yes to tonight?"  
"It's a yes to tonight," Callum confirmed readily with that genuine smile of his. "Provided I can eat the rest of my breakfast free of smut & innuendo..."

"Guess that'll be my cue to leave then," Ben quipped back, razor sharp as ever. As he stood, he leant across the table to seal a delicate kiss to Callum's cheek & caress his face with a hand, before whispering softly into his ear. "And maybe consider bringing an overnight bag with you this time? Everything still goes at your pace though..." 

Callum swallowed down hard through his Adam's Apple, giving a brief nod of his head in response. "That sounds great," he grinned keenly.  
"I'll catch you later then," Ben winked coaxingly, before taking his leave from the table.

"Cheers Ma," he thanked Kathy as he made his exit, pushing a ten pound note onto the food counter as payment. "That should cover the breakfast for me & sex on legs in the corner..." He'd intentionally spoken it loud enough to be in Callum's earshot.

Kathy shot a warm smile of comfort in Callum's direction. "Do excuse my son; he gets his so-called manners from his father..."  
Callum smiled an appreciative response; he knew Ben Mitchell was already twice the man Phil Mitchell or Jonno Highway could ever be.


	20. Chapter 20

## Unseen scene 19/10/19 

He fastens the final button on his shirt, closest to its collar, then promptly undoes it again. Why is he feeling so nervous; so uptight? It isn't as if they haven't been here before - on a date, back at Ian's house, kissing, caressing, getting each other all worked up on the sofa...

He checks his watch for the umpteenth time, knowing the hour has nearly arrived. Pulling the door to behind him, he descends the stairs, runs his hands through his hair & heads in the direction of the street...

He doesn't get very far though - barely further than opening the door - before Callum is standing there in front him; bag slung over shoulder, fist raised ready to knock on the Beales' back door.  
"You came then," Ben attempted his most nonchalant tone, although he suspected with minimum success.  
"Looks like it," Callum shrugged casually.  
"So...you comin' in?" Ben leant against the doorframe. "Or you just gonna stand there looking too hot to handle all night?"

Callum shrugged again. "Well, seein' as you asked so nicely..."  
Ben greeted their repertoire with a smile & moved to one side, his arm raised to still perch against the door. Callum acquiesced by moving slowly across the threshold.   
"Carry on through," Ben asserted, shoving the back door firmly closed behind them, before following on.

"So," Callum slipped his bag onto the floor. "If you're calling me sex on legs, what am I calling you?"  
Ben stepped in close to him. “So long as you’re always calling me, you can call me anything you want…” He raised a hand to Callum’s cheek & drew him in for a long, steadying kiss. “Mmm, needed that,” he admitted with a gentle smile, sensing a similar vibe from his man. He never understood why they did this to themselves: each working himself into an anxious state ahead of a date, when what really mattered all came so naturally, so easily, when it actually happened.

Callum cupped his palm to Ben’s hand where it still rested against his face. “Butterflies as well, eh?” It was a question each recognised could elicit different answers from the two conflicting sides of Ben’s character: the brash ego who kept everyone at arms’ length would dismiss it with flippancy or cruel words, but they both knew he wouldn’t be visible tonight. 

Callum saw through Ben, just as Ben had seen through Callum all those months ago. They reserved their best for each other, so in Ben’s case that meant devoting a side only the trusted few ever saw: open, honest & generous to a fault. 

“It wasn’t my intention to put either or both of us under any pressure tonight,” Ben leant his forehead to Callum’s, properly connecting the hands that still rested against his partner’s face & guiding them down to settle between their chests. “The invitation to stay over is genuinely without any strings attached. It occurred to me after I left you in the Caff this morning I probably hadn’t made that entirely clear…”

“I know the invitation doesn’t come with set expectations…” Callum affirmed softly. “It’s the first time we’ve made a definite plan for where the night will end though, ain’t it?”  
“A bit too forced?” Ben grimaced apologetically.  
"Nah," Callum entreated earnestly. "You're making a space for me - for us - in your world; that means so much..."  
"Yeah?" Ben checked cautiously.  
"Yeah," Callum confirmed, delivering a tender kiss to the other man's lips.

That exchange seemed to centre them both, grounding the anxieties that had earlier risen for both of them. They settled into a leisurely kiss, each luxuriating in the knowledge they had the whole night ahead of them.

Their height difference meant Ben was craning his neck, even though Callum was leaning down to meet his lips. Tiring of that extension, Ben linked his hands behind Callum's waist & took a couple of backward steps, gently guiding their conjoined bodies across the room. As he felt the edge of the dining table against the back of his thighs, Ben set himself down on it, leading Callum to stand between his legs.

Their kiss deepened a little, although without any obvious sense of urgency, Callum's hands roaming to caress the back of Ben's neck. "New scent..." Ben muttered hoarsely through their continuing kiss.  
"Huh?" Callum queried, his lips never threatening to disconnect from those of his partner.  
"You're wearing a different aftershave..." Ben qualified evenly.  
"Thought I'd try something new..." Callum confirmed eagerly, unable to resist the question on the tip of his tongue. "You like?" 

Ben lingered in the momentum of their kiss momentarily, breathing in the different aroma he was being presented with. "Citrus tones..." he hummed agreeably. "I very much like".  
Ben's attentiveness, which early on had so frequently wrongfooted Callum, was now such a turn on to him. He'd spent so many years existing on the fringes, camouflaging himself against the truth, that few people had ever paid him attention...Attention was now something Ben lavished upon him & he was increasingly growing to love it.

An uncontrollable smile spread through Callum's features, transmitting to Ben through their continuing kiss. "What you smilin' at?"  
"Just glad to be back in my happy place," Callum affirmed softly.

Ben made to say something back in return, but found himself interrupted by a voice emerging loudly from upstairs.  
"If you're going to insist on going downstairs to say goodnight to your daddy, you can at least wait for me..." Lola's voice came through, with the clear intention of giving the men downstairs some advance warning 

Callum disengaged their mouths, looking to the younger man for some guidance. As the baby gay in this relationship, he had little idea of the correct etiquette when it came to playing tonsil tennis with the father of a little girl who was about to descend the stairs in pursuit of a bedtime story.

Ben released his arms from round Callum's waist, placing a kiss to his forefinger & applying it to Callum's lips. "Can we hold off on that thought for a couple of minutes?" His eyes earnestly seeking to explain that he wasn't ashamed to let Lexi see them together, but this was a relationship he needed to introduce steadily, for all their sakes.  
"Sure thing," Callum agreed without fluster, backing away from Ben's immediate space & edging to stand away to one side.

As the first sounds of Lola & Lexi descending the stairs emerged, Ben drew out one of the chairs from the table & gestured to it. "Take a pew though babe, don't want you making the place look untidy..." He flashed a dazzling smile in Callum's direction, which was met with a disbelieving head shake in return.

At that, Lexi launched herself through the baby gate at the foot of the stairs & straight across the room into the waiting arms of her father. "Hey princess," he welcomed her arrival, wrapping one arm around her waist & placing the other atop her head.  
"Does anyone else wonder why we still even bother with that baby gate," Ben greeted Lola's appearance in the room with a sarcastic raise of an eyebrow. 

Lola eyed the scene suspiciously, as if expecting to be confronted by an errant undergarment strewn on the sofa, or both men's hair unusually ruffled. She was both relieved & disappointed in equal measure to find that wasn't the case. "You two behavin' yourselves then?"  
"Always," Ben affirmed gleefully, dipping his head to press a kiss to his daughter's hair, as her face continued to nuzzle into his chest. "How 'bout you princess; you been a good girl for mummy?"

"Always," Lexi repeated her father's previous assertion as if butter wouldn't melt, then all of a sudden turning her head to take in the presence of the other man for the first time.  
"Mr Sunshine," she beamed at Callum.  
"Hi little one," he responded in return with a warm smile. "How was school today?"  
Lola looked bemused. "What did she call him?"  
"Long story," Ben winked at his daughter "Ain't it Lex?"

Lexi was already too preoccupied with what she wanted to say next. "Callum, do you know what I'm doing tomorrow?" she chimed excitedly. "Err..." Callum began to ponder. "No, I don't think I do..."  
"Going to see Little Mix," she bubbled over enthusiastically, earning a grumble from her father.  
"She ain't going to see Little Mix," Ben clarified promptly. "She's going to Madame Tussaud's, where it's just possible they're one of the exhibits. "

That point of technicality was obviously a minor detail for Lexi. "Do you like Little Mix Callum?"  
"Say no; say no..." Ben muttered under his breath, trying but failing to catch Callum's eye.  
"Yeah I do," Callum smiled brightly at the little girl.  
"Which is your favourite song?" she pressed eagerly.  
"Gotta be _Black Magic_ don't it?" Callum beamed.

That was all the encouragement the little girl needed, as she started to sing her way through the song's chorus. "Take a sip from my secret potion, I'll make you fall in love..."

"Wow, you know all the words don't you?" Callum marvelled in encouragement.  
"Yes," Ben interjected, rising to his feet. "Yes she does, & you're about to hear every single one of them..." He was talking above the sound of his daughter's continued singing & brushed a hand along Callum's shoulder blade to attract his attention. "Do you want a beer babe?" His tones were hushed enough for the pet name he called Callum by to go unnoticed by all except its subject.  
"Please," Callum nodded in agreement, keeping his eyes glued to Lexi's impromptu performance, determined not to let her father distract him from it.

Ben walked towards the kitchen, shaking his head in mock disapproval. "Think my date's just dumped me for my daughter..." he grumbled half-heartedly in Lola's direction. “You want a drink of something too, mother of my child?” Ben pressed a hand to Lola’s arm as he passed her.  
“Better not,” she declined agreeably. “I’m guessin’ my continued presence might cramp your style…”  
Ben’s hand gave an appreciative squeeze to her forearm, at which he disappeared into the kitchen to retrieve two bottles of beer before returning promptly.

Lola beamed at the sight before them. “He’s a natural with her…” She nodded in the direction of Callum, who was now tapping his foot & drumming his hands in time with Lexi’s singing, a broad grin on his face.  
Ben watched on with a look of fondness, but said nothing.  
Lexi’s performance soon reached its crescendo, & she grinned back excitedly at Callum. “Do you know _Shout Out to My Ex?_ We could do that one next…”

“Er, no you don’t missy,” Ben intervened swiftly, moving back to his previous position perched against the table, although in closer proximity to where Callum was seated than before. “You’ve got a big day tomorrow, so it’s off to bed for you”.  
“But Daddy…” the little girl started to protest, as her father passed one of the beer bottles to the man beside him.  
“But nothing,” Ben asserted calmly. “Mummy & Uncle Jay have a big day out planned for you tomorrow, so you don’t want to be overtired before it’s even started…” He cast a glance in Callum’s direction, the look in his eyes suggesting that wasn’t his main motive for wanting his daughter tucked away in her bed.

Lexi it seemed though was in defiant mood, so stood her ground. “Why aren’t you coming tomorrow as well Daddy?”  
“Because,” he paused to place his bottle on the table behind him. “Somebody has to do a day’s work to put food on the table while you lot are out enjoying yourselves…” He inconspicuously raised his right hand & placed his fingers to the back of Callum’s neck, tracing gentle circles along his skin. “Besides, I refuse to be anyone’s gooseberry…” He winked cheekily at Lola.

Lexi appeared momentarily perplexed. “Callum, what’s a gooseberry?”  
“Er,” Callum hesitated, distracted by Ben’s creeping touches to his neck. “A gooseberry’s a kind of fruit darlin’” he managed to explain, shooting Ben a look that said he’d leave it for him to explain the word’s other connotation.  
“But that’s just silly Daddy,” the little girl singsonged to her father. “Why would you act like a piece of fruit all day?”

Ben whisked her up into his arms. “Remember like I told you the other day – some words have more than one meaning?” He carried her across the room in Lola’s direction.  
“What, like queen?” Lexi responded quick as a flash. “Uncle Jay called you a queen the other day, didn’t he Daddy? I said that was silly because boys can’t be queens & you both laughed saying you’d explain it to me one day…”

Ben expelled a sigh of amused exasperation & rolled his eyes in Callum’s direction. “Kind of like that baby…”  
“But you still haven’t explained it to me,” Lexi persisted, her thirst for knowledge as keen as ever.  
“And you’re at risk of becoming a gooseberry to me & Callum, so it’s off to bed for you missy…” Ben countered cleverly, earning a huff of frustration from his squirming daughter as her passed her over into Lola’s waiting arms. “Mummy’s turn to read your story tonight”.

“Daddy, daddy…” Lexi gripped her hand to the door frame to halt Lola’s attempt at taking her daughter upstairs. “Just one last question…” she fluttered her eyelashes. “Please…”  
He wasn’t ever likely to deny such flattery, se edged to his daughter’s side, where she beckoned him to lean closer so she could whisper in his ear, her words shielded behind her tiny hand.

A glint of mischief erupted in Ben’s eyes, which he directed unrelentingly at Callum, as he absorbed his daughter’s question. “He will baby, so long as that’s alright with you?” Ben gave his gentle response, loudly enough for all of the room’s occupants to hear it.  
The little girl nodded her head eagerly, while Callum leant his head quizzically to one side.  
“Night then princess,” Ben placed a delicate kiss to her cheek. “Sleep tight…”  
“Night Daddy…"  
“Night all,” Lola directed to the room, as she sealed the baby gate behind herself & set off up the stairs with her daughter. Ben watched on silently for a moment, then redirected his attentions towards Callum.

“Now, where were we?” Reaching his date, he leant down to reconnect their lips, guiding the beer bottle from Callum’s hand to the table. His own hands then clasped firmly to those of his man, pulling him from his seat & repositioning them as they had been before they were interrupted: Ben seated on the table, Callum standing between his legs.

Callum allowed himself to enjoy their reunion for a moment, then disengaged their hands to place his palms on Ben’s thighs & retreat from their kiss. He smiled warmly at his beau. “You were about to tell me what your daughter whispered to you about me…”  
“I was, was I?” Ben queried softly, a smirk starting to twitch at the corner of his mouth. “And what makes you so certain she said anything about you at all?”  
“Because,” Callum pecked a tiny kiss to his lips. “Your eyes gave you away…” His lips pressed to Ben’s again, this time delivering a soft nip. “They always give you away…”

“Well,” Ben beamed teasingly. “You’ve seen right through me, ain’t you?” He placed his own hands down on top of Callum’s & tipped his weight forward slightly to trail seductive kisses along the line of his jaw, eventually reaching his ear lobe. “The thing about words spoken at a whisper though, is that they tend to always be secrets…” He himself whispered through warm breath into his man’s ear.

“So whisper them to me now & I’ll keep them secret too,” Callum entreated in equally hushed tones.  
Ben’s tongue trailed along his own lower lip as he gave some thought to Callum’s assertion, holding their eyes in a stare of mutual admiration. Finally, he settled on his response. “Persuade me…”


	21. Chapter 21

## Unseen scene 19/10/19

  
Callum's powers of persuasion had proven stronger than either he or Ben would have given credit for; Ben eventually relenting & confiding, at a whisper, that Lexi had asked him if Callum would still be there when she woke up in the morning.

It was a weight off Ben's mind, to find his daughter enraptured by Callum, who was likewise enchanted by the little girl. No imminent disclosure of the true nature of their relationship would be made to Lexi, but it was important to Ben that she felt comfortable in Callum's company, & that Callum felt relaxed in hers. They didn't need to be making any formal declarations, just setting a scene of contentment & commitment in their evolving companionship.

Speaking of which, the evening had developed from one of sustained flirtation on the sofa, punctuated by prolonged spells of handsy kissing, eventually relocating to the heightened privacy afforded by Ben's bedroom. Somewhere along the line they'd started to engage in exchanging whispered confessions to each other: some outlandish - mostly on Ben's part; some indulgent of fantasies; some deeply personal. Each man lay on his side in the centre of the double mattress, head propped up against pillows, facing the other in close proximity.

"I've recently started harbouring an infatuation for that work outfit of yours..." Ben uttered his latest admission to hang in the air between them. “Or more specifically, you in that outfit. It's the tie that does it - the thought of leading you by it into my boudoir".  
Callum looked around them. "I'm now wondering what in this room qualifies it to be a boudoir..."  
"Er, that would be me," Ben waved a hand. "It's devilishly desirable occupant..."  
Callum smirked. "And modest as ever hey?" Reducing the gap between them a little further, he leant in for a kiss, then set himself back down to offer his next confession. “I ain’t even sure what took me so long to get here to be honest”.

Ben chuckled lightly. "What, ya mean fully clothed on my bed?" Other than the shoes & socks they'd removed on reaching the room, both remained fully clothed.   
“Don’t tease me,” Callum lamented with a grimace. “You know exactly what I mean”.  
The younger man dealt a tempting kiss to the other’s lips. “But I like teasing you…” He pecked their lips together again. “…So you’ll have to find another way of occupyin’ me if you don’t want me to keep doin’ it…”

“That’s easy enough…” Callum grinned against his face, dispensing with the sporadic soft kisses to engage their mouths in something more charged. Ben eased into the kiss, content to let his less experienced companion take the lead; he couldn’t resist a smile though as Callum’s tongue found its way to his lower lip, seeking to breach yet further. As their tongues collided, a moan escaped on his breath.

Wanting to further diminish the gap between their bodies, but ever mindful that everything that happened needed to be Callum’s call, Ben relented from the kiss momentarily. “Permission to get a bit handsy?” he entreated with a softened gaze.  
“Permission granted,” Callum affirmed, stifling a giggle & immediately seeking to reconnect their mouths & tongues.

“Good answer,” Ben muttered into their kiss, his hand slipping beneath the other man’s shirt, gently grasping to Callum’s rib cage, allowing himself the leverage to pull their bodies ever closer. His fingers then beginning to trail their way up & down Callum’s side. Callum’s fingers meanwhile were teasing their way to the buttons of the younger man’s shirt, clearly feeling secure enough in himself to revisit similar territory to the previous night, even though the setting had changed. Their bodies starting to clamber higher off the mattress as the kiss deepened further.

Ben lingered in indulging their kiss, working hard at maintaining his self-control a trait he wasn’t exactly renowned for. Just because he was playing the understudy tonight, rather than the lead, didn’t mean though that he wasn’t going to vocalise how right this was all feeling, periodic moans of pleasure escaping his lips.

Callum, midway through slipping the shirt from Ben’s shoulders, paused. “Where do you even summon all those little noises of yours up from?”  
“Wouldn’t you like to know…” Ben tantalised. “You ain’t about to tell me they’re a turn off for you, are ya?”  
“Never,” Callum assured, his hands returning to their task of removing the shirt. “They’re a part of you, & I appreciate every single part of you, so they’re just fine by me…”

“Every part?” Ben quirked a suggestive eyebrow.  
“Every part,” Callum confirmed, placing his palms to Ben’s chest & pushing slightly to force a gap between them, allowing him to take in the sight before him. His features suddenly turned to pensive though. “Every part except this one…” His fingers drew around the bullet wound scar still prominent on Ben’s chest.

Ben guided Callum’s fingers away from their fixation, lifting them to his face to deliver a kiss to them. “Kind of got us to where we are today though, didn’t it…”  
Their eyes met across their joined hands. “Still scares me though…” Callum admitted cautiously.  
“Me too…” Ben agreed in barely there tones. “Me too…”

They engaged in a prolonged gaze, which transmitted so much unspoken meaning, before Callum finally broke from the trance with a shake of his head to chastise himself. “Full marks for being a passion killer Highway…”  
Ben smiled enigmatically. “Me though, I can reignite passion at a moment’s notice…” He pressed their lips together again, sprawling a palm to Callum’s chest, as if about to guide him into position, before checking himself in the nick of time. “Only if that’s still ok with you though?”

Callum licked along his own lower lip, suddenly feeling the need to quench it. “That’s just fine by me,” he assured softly, the understanding conducted between them that he had perhaps reached his capacity in taking the lead for now, & both needed & wanted the other man’s guidance.

Ben again smiled, with increased hues of reassurance, his still splayed palm gently pushing at Callum’s chest once more. “Sit back…” he prompted softly, easing Callum’s position round so his back was propped against the pillows. Contorting his own body across the bed, he lifted his weight up, clasping a hand to Callum’s face & instigating another kiss.

An unfamiliar sense of indecision was absorbing Ben’s mind in that moment, so he stalled in the kiss, hoping to disguise any trace of it. As his tongue crept against Callum’s lips, seeking readmission to his mouth, the irony wasn’t lost on Ben that this was uncharted territory just as much for him as the other man, albeit in entirely different ways. He was more accustomed to hurried, impatient high seeking than slow, tantalising seduction. This wasn’t just a case of experience showing inexperience the way; Callum had brought something new to the party & was teaching his own tricks in return.

“Mmm…” Ben expelled a soft moan of approval that his & Callum’s tongues, teeth & lips were all fully active in their kiss once more. Without ever threatening to disengage the embrace, Ben manoeuvred his own body up & around, until his knees were straddled to either side of Callum’s legs. He spotted a momentary flicker of surprise in the older man’s expression, but was encouraged no resistance was offered.

Pawing his fingers to the front of Callum’s shirt, Ben relented from their kiss, drawing Callum’s eyes to look deep into his. “Will you trust that I will stop this at any instant you ask me to?”  
Callum took barely a moment to give his response with a nod. “I trust unquestioningly…”  
Ben gave his own nod in return, his gaze not slipping from Callum’s while his hands busied themselves with unfastening his shirt buttons. “Equally though, if you don’t ask me to stop, that’s just fine by me too…” He smiled enticingly.

As the shirt slid from Callum’s shoulders, Ben returned to kissing his man, a little more purposefully this time, but still without any urgency, as he let his hands roam the other man’s torso freely. “How toned are you?” Ben muttered in breathy wonderment as his hands explored the contours of Callum’s surprisingly muscular frame.  
“Was in the army me,” Callum smiled through their kiss, leaning into the other man, enjoying the sensation of their skin-to-skin contact. He lifted his arms to wrap them across Ben’s shoulders, linking his thumbs to caress the nape of his neck.

Another groan of pleasure escaped from Ben’s lips. “Makes me wonder what other treasure you’ve been hiding under those clothes of yours…” He bit down on his lip, as he let the implicit question he was asking of Callum sink in.

Callum could only really marvel at the total lack of subtlety from his partner. Tugging at Ben’s neck, he pulled him down towards him, shuffling their combined weight lower on the bed. He collided their mouths with a firmer kiss than had been before, then retreated from it, giving a definite nod of his head in consent to the other man’s wishes. He let his hands cascade down Ben’s back, before settling them to his lumber area, breaching just beneath his trousers’ waistband, his fingers starting to play against the skin.

Ben smiled, with what was possibly the softest, most tender expression he’d ever treated Callum to. “Now, let’s see if I can finally persuade you once & for all just how gorgeous you really are to me…”


	22. Chapter 22

## Unseen scene 20/10/19

  
“Wakey wakey sleepy head…” Ben gently sketched a thumb along Callum’s cheekbone as he sat down on the edge of the bed. It was the following morning & the younger man had left the elder sleeping in for as long as he could possibly allow given the latter was due at work within the hour. Ben was already showered & dressed, his temporary absence from the bed having apparently gone unnoticed.

Callum’s eyes drifted steadily open, blinking furiously against the first light of day, so he wearily rubbed at them in an attempt to clear the fog in his mind.  
“Time to come back down to planet earth from wherever you’ve been orbiting all night…” Ben pressed gently. They hadn’t taken things all the way during the course of the night, but far enough that Callum had fallen asleep looking utterly blissed out.  
No longer afflicted by the sting of the light against his eyes, Callum began to focus in on his companion for the first time.

“Mornin’…” Ben greeted his consciousness with a soft, welcoming smile, his hand still stroking at his face.  
A look of puzzlement swept across Callum’s features.  
“Still not quite back in the room?” Ben teased at the taller man’s apparent slowness to come round from a night’s sleep. Or not an entirely full night’s sleep, as it had actually transpired.

Callum shifted his weight upwards slightly, propping the pillows against his head, which was tilted in an inquisitive manner.  
“Alright?” Ben quizzed gently.  
“You’re wearin’ glasses…” Callum made his astonished observation. 

“Ah…” Ben chuckled, drawing his hand slowly down his partner’s face & neck, its downward progress not relenting even at the partial resistance offered by the quilt. It hadn’t ever actually occurred to him that Callum wouldn’t be aware he wore contact lenses, let alone glasses. There was still so much they had to learn about each other. 

Ben’s fingers played against the older man’s exposed stomach. “So there were you thinkin’ I was tryin’ to seduce you in the darkness of the night when my hand found its way to this bad boy…” His hand slipped lower still to cup at Callum’s manhood through his boxer shorts. “When in reality I was just strugglin’ to find the door handle without my contacts in…” His eyes twinkled with mirth as he dipped his head down to connect their lips in a brief kiss, making no effort to disengage his hand.

Callum’s fingers sought out the back of the other man’s neck to keep their heads held in close proximity. “Mmm, so if that was your excuse, what exactly was mine for doing the same in return?” At some point before dawn, the two men had found themselves awake, lazily engaging in mutual hand jobs under the covers.  
“That was obviously just because you find me completely & utterly irresistible,” Ben smiled.  
“Oh I most definitely do,” Callum concurred. “Especially now I’ve seen you in these glasses…” He wasted no further time, initiating another kiss. 

“I can tell you like them…” Ben smirked, his hand twitching against the obvious arousal in Callum’s lap. He indulged their kiss for another few moments, then pulled both hand & mouth away. “Probably best you don’t frighten the natives by parading that bad boy at the breakfast table though…” Ben was both delighted & amused by how hot his man was for him.

He permitted one short, sweet kiss between them, then rose to his feet. “The shower’s all yours for as long as you want it. See ya downstairs in a bit gorgeous…”  
“Ben…” Callum called out, ruffling a hand through his own dishevelled hair. “You’re definitely sure you’re still alright with Lexi knowin’ I stayed the night?”  
“Definitely sure,” Ben assured him with a soft smile. “Now get on it will ya? I ain’t takin’ the blame from Jay if you rock up late for work…”

Closing the bedroom door firmly behind him, Ben descended the stairs two at a time, an obvious spring in his step. “Mornin’ Princess…” He greeted the presence of his daughter in the sitting room warmly.  
“Morning Daddy,” Lexi beamed, rushing to his side to envelope his waist in a hug.  
He ran a hand across her head. “You slept alright, ahead of your big day out?”  
“I slept brilliantly Daddy,” she affirmed with an eager nod of her head. “How about you?”  
“Really well darlin’,” he assured softly, a reflective smile on his face.

“Is Mr Sunshine still here?” she pressed keenly.  
“Yeah he is baby,” Ben bent down to press a kiss to her scalp. “He’s just takin’ a shower, then he’ll be down…”  
“YAY!” The little girl responded excitedly, causing her mother to stir from the kitchen to check all was well.

Someone’s lookin’ pleased with themselves this mornin’…” Lola ventured, swiping a tea towel in Ben’s direction to capture his attention.  
“Ouch,” he rubbed his arm at the point the towel had struck him. “No need for that…” he chastised, pressing his way into the kitchen. “Now what’s on offer for breakfast, cos I’m starvin’…”

“I bet you are, after a night of gettin’ jiggy…” Lola jibed in tones she hoped would be quiet enough to be out of her daughter’s earshot.  
“You know me Lo; never kiss & tell…” Ben snatched up a piece of toast from the kitchen counter & took a large bite from it, a smirk developing across his features as he chewed. “Suffice to say though that Callum was in danger of growing a third leg when I left him to it up there, so he might still be walkin’ a bit funny when he finally makes it downstairs…”

“Unbelievable,” Lola shook her head in pretend derision, her timbre then softening. “You happy?”  
Ben took another mouthful of the toast, albeit smaller this time. “Yeah,” he smiled sheepishly.  
“I’m glad,” she grinned warmly. “You deserve to be…”  
Ben blinked down an almost emotional response, taken unawares by her candour, then finding himself grateful to be disturbed by their daughter.

“Daddy…” Lexi demanded his attention. “What does gettin’ jiggy mean?”  
Ben choked down a laugh. “I reckon you should probably ask your Uncle Jay that when you’re out with him today baby…” He gave a wink in Lola’s direction in demonstration of his mischief.  
“Daddy…” the little girl pressed again. “Can I show you my Little Mix dance moves?”

“Course ya can baby,” Ben confirmed readily, guiding her back into the sitting room. “You can do that while I flick through some paperwork from the Arches…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one obviously leads directly to that infamous scene of Callum emerging from upstairs in the Beales’ house to compliment Ben in front of Lexi on how his glasses bring out the kindness in his eyes.
> 
> Again, the way my mind works, I wanted to explore what brought Callum & Ben to the point of being that comfortable to express themselves in that way in front of Lexi – hence the developing build up of the last few chapters. Plus, I had to come up with the background as to why Callum had been upstairs!
> 
> I’m going with the episode writer’s assertion that Ballum were still in their getting to know each other phase at this point & hadn’t yet taken things all the way…


	23. Chapter 23

## Unseen scene 20/10/19

  
"Is Jay alright?" Callum queried, as he weighed out some pasta.  
"Just in a bit of shock I reckon," Ben shrugged, from his position seated on the kitchen counter, legs hanging down.  
"Ya sure you don't want any of this?" Callum alluded to the evening meal he was preparing for himself.  
"No ta," Ben smiled. "Might of overdosed on the fish fingers I just cooked for Lex..."  
Callum raised an eyebrow. "Overdosed?"  
"Seriously Cal they're much smaller than they were in our day; takes about 10 of them just to make a fish finger sandwich nowadays!"

"Please tell me you ain't just given your daughter a fish finger sandwich for dinner?" Callum sighed.  
"As if I would..." Ben grinned. "In fact, she actually had fish fingers, baked potato faces & peas..." He was looking pleased with himself.  
"That your speciality is it?" Callum chuckled, decanting the pasta into a pan.  
"Nah," Ben smirked. "All of my specialities are in the bedroom department, not the kitchen". He added a wink for extra effect.  
Callum shook his head at the other man's now familiar crassness, & looked like he was about to get busy with preparing a pasta sauce.

"Callum, Cal, just spare me two minutes of your time before you get stuck into your culinary masterpiece will ya? I ain't seen you all day after all..." Ben pleaded across the kitchen, displaying puppy dog eyes.

"How exactly did you fill your time before you had me to snog?" Callum grinned, wiping his hands on a tea towel as he moved in the younger man's direction.  
Ben quirked a suggestive eyebrow in response.  
"Yeh, probably best you don't tell me actually ..." Callum grimaced, then leant in for a kiss.

"As I recall, all my time was taken up with chasing after some fit bloke..." Ben smiled, their heads remaining in close proximity from the kiss.  
"Hope he was worth it..." Callum enquired softly.  
"Gettin' more worth it by the second.. " Ben agreed, leaning in for another kiss.

"Better now?" Callum chuckled as he softly pulled away.  
"Not quite yet..." Ben corrected, pulling Callum by the waist to stand between his spread legs. He then instigated a firmer, deeper kiss between them, muttering into it. "Much better now..."

Callum allowed himself to be caught up in the embrace for a few moments, then placed his palms to Ben’s thighs & pulled himself away, albeit his hands remaining in situ. “I was thinkin’ actually…” His fingers played at the denim of the younger man’s jeans.  
“Do tell then…” Ben prompted readily, his gaze shifting lethargically between Callum’s hands & eyes.

“What if I cook us a meal some time this week…” Callum suggested quietly.  
Ben perched his head slightly to one side. “As in just the two of us?”  
“Just the two of us,” Callum confirmed with a dip of his head. “Good food, good company…”  
“Bit of footsie under the table…” Ben’s eyes sparkled with joy.  
“Bit of footsie under the table…Bit of alone time…” The older man concurred softly.

“You sayin’ my family cramp your style?” Ben teased with a smirk.  
“When did I even say that?” Callum queried, bemused.  
“I’m only playin’ babe,” Ben assured him with a kiss, linking their hands together. “Just the two of us, a bit of candlelit dinner sounds perfect to me…”

“Er,” Callum chuckled. “Who said anythin’ about candles?”  
“You didn’t say there wouldn’t be candles either…” Ben’s fingers toyed with the other man’s.  
“Would a lack of candles be a deal breaker?” Callum checked before delivering another kiss.  
“Nah,” Ben assured, returning his own kiss. “A lack of snoggin’ would be though…”

Their mouths collided at that assertion, hands instantly parting to roam to the back of one another’s necks. “I do have to go in a minute, babe…” Ben eventually reminded breathily.  
“Yep,” Callum acknowledged through their kiss.  
“Meetin’ Jay for a pint, remember…” Ben’s words vibrated between their lips.  
“Yup,” Callum agreed again, still not threatening to let the kiss relent.  
“Probably best I don’t turn up a half-cut mess…”  
“Ain’t stoppin’ ya from leavin’…”  
“Can’t get off this worktop; you’re blockin’ my path…”  
“Ya askin’ me to move?”  
“Argh…” Ben finally vented a groan of frustration, reluctantly separating from his partner. Setting his hands to Callum’s chest, he gently pushed him backwards & jumped down from the worktop.

“When ya gonna cook me up a storm then?” The younger man queried, resetting the collar of his shirt which had become ruffled in their clinch.  
Callum winced apologetically. “Thursday?”  
Ben’s mouth opened to express how aghast he was at that notion, given Thursday was a whole three days away.  
“Well you’ve already told me you’re sittin’ Lexi tomorrow evenin’, & I’ve promised Stuart a bit of brotherly bondin’ on Wednesday…”

Ben’s fingers teased at the front of his man’s shirt. “Can’t you just bin Stuart off?”  
“No more than you can or should bin Lexi off,” Callum countered firmly, then allowed his tone to soften once more. “Ya are allowed to drop by for a snog any time you fancy one in the meantime though…”  
“Yeah?” Ben’s hand slid idly down the taller man’s chest.  
“Yeah,” Callum confirmed, seizing the descending hand of the other man. “Now come on, get goin’ will ya? I want some dinner & god knows Jay could probably do with a drink after the day he’s had…”

“You could come with tonight…” Ben had one final suggestion. “Reckon Jay could do with all the support he can get right now…”  
Callum shook his head. “It’s his brother he needs right now; that’s why I called you as soon as it kicked off earlier…”

Ben’s face showed a new sense of resolve. “You’re a good man Callum Highway…”  
“As is Jay…” Callum reached for Ben’s discarded jacket & held it open for the other man to ease himself into. “I reckon the last thing he needs right now is being gate crashed by our little double act, don’t you?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought it important to remain true to canon & at least reference the death of the man who killed Jay's dad, given both Callum & Ben were linked into that storyline, hence the veiled references to Jay's state of mind in this. Really don't plan on exploring that plot line any further though, because I think it was handled oddly. Looking back now, maybe it was just another plot device in the redemption of Ben Mitchell?
> 
> Anyway, doing this gave me a chance to sew the seed of that candlelit dinner they were planning...


	24. Chapter 24

## Unseen scene, merging into actual scene 25/10/19

The walk of shame hadn't ever been something Ben lacked familiarity with. Not that he was actually ashamed that often, usually delighting in being seen making his triumphant return. Just occasionally though his actions caused hurt to the ones he genuinely cared for, & so it was that he was ringing up to Callum's flat feeling suitably shamefaced on this Friday morning. "Hey, it's me; can I come up?"

The overly harsh buzz of the lock confirmed his request had been granted, so Ben pushed a hand to the door, took a deep breath & prepared to make his ascent of the stairs. How best to apologise for his radio silence of the night before? They'd been on a promise of Callum cooking dinner for them; of an evening that could have led to who knows where. Instead, thanks to bloody Martin Fowler, Ben had spent the latter part of the afternoon, & on into the early evening, in a police cell. He'd be dealing with Fowler later, but first he had Callum to make good with. Running a hand roughly through his hair, Ben took another deep breath & prepared to be contrite.

"Hey..." Callum was perched against the kitchen counter, bowl of cereal in hand.  
"Hey yourself," Ben responded suitably sheepishly.  
"Last night..." Callum placed his bowl to one side.  
"Yeah, about last night..." Ben shifted his weight awkwardly between feet, his gaze glued to the floor.  
"I'm so sorry I ruined it..." Callum interjected, before the other man even had chance to finish his own sentence.

Ben's eyes lifted at the unexpected apology, & he scratched a finger absent-mindedly against his stubble in confusion. “What you got to apologise for?”  
“Standin’ you up obviously,” Callum responded despondently. “I’m guessin’ by the time I got back to the flat you’d already been & gone…I am so sorry Ben…”

The younger man remained bewildered, yet astute enough to spot a potential opportunity to cover up his own indiscretion. He rubbed at the corner of his eye, a nervous trait that betrayed his indecision while he gave the matter some consideration. The truth was soon apparent though that he thought too much of Callum to perpetuate this particular misapprehension. “Guess that makes two of us who need to say sorry then…”

Callum looked across in confusion, but said nothing.  
Ben took a small step towards the taller man. “I didn’t make it to our date either…For which I’m equally sorry…”  
“Right…” Callum seemed too distracted to fully process that assertion. “D’ya want a coffee? I was in the middle of makin’ one when you arrived…”  
“Sure,” Ben agreed with a tentative nod. He watched on in silence as Callum busied himself in his task, still uncertain that his apology had even gone in, let alone whether it had been accepted or not. 

After several agonising minutes of watching his man be too distracted to conduct any further conversation between them, Ben moved across the kitchen to stand at Callum’s shoulder. “I should’a rung back about dinner; a bit of bother with work”. Placing his hands to the man’s waist he pecked a kiss to his upper arm, then nuzzled his face against his suit jacket. “You know what it’s like, there’s always someone lettin’ me down…” 

Sensing his man’s continued preoccupation, he altered tack. “You gonna stir that coffee a bit more for me?”

Callum finally relented, dropping the spoon into the mug & looking in his direction. “This ain’t about dinner…”  
Only then did Ben notice the upset on the older man’s features for the first time; Callum’s face flushed with apprehension. “Well who’s rained on your parade?” Ben was suddenly concerned, running a reassuring hand up & down the taller man’s arm, trying desperately to hold his man’s gaze in his own.

Callum reticently shook his head.  
“I ain’t exactly gonna be able to help if I don’t know what the problem is…” Ben tried again, his hands easing their way to Callum’s waist & gently guiding him to turn round in his hold so they could stand face to face. He found the other man still unable, or unwilling he wasn’t sure, to submit to his scrutiny though. “Callum…Cal…Look at me…” Ben ducked down to engage their eyes, his hold still remaining firm.

“You’ll judge me if I tell ya…” Callum cautioned reluctantly.  
A soft smile spread on Ben’s face, one of his hands lifting to push Callum’s chin & gaze upwards. “Of everyone in this world Cal, I am probably the least likely ever to judge ya…”  
Callum’s eyes narrowed, as if analysing whether he could trust that assertion. He seemed to eventually find the answer he needed.

“That bloke Whitney’s been seein’…” Callum began his explanation hesitantly.  
Ben felt a momentary bristle arise within, but had a word with himself about it just in time to disguise it. “I know the one you mean: overly-tailored, dodgy facial hair, tryin’ a bit too hard…” He reinforced his words with a trace of his thumb to Callum’s face.  
“He’s dug somethin’ up on me…” Callum’s eyes finally fully set to meet the other man’s for the first time. “And when I say dug, what I really mean is dredged…”

“Ok…” Ben steadied them both within his own hold. “Ya wanna tell me about it?”  
“It ain’t a video I’m directly tagged in, so he must of really gone lookin’ for it…” It was as if Callum was trying to process the words as he spoke them.  
Ben bit his tongue against offering any enquiry as to whether his man had made a sex tape in his past, opting instead to retrieve their two mugs of coffee from the worktop behind them, passing one across. He was trying to radiate the right sort of sense of calm: concerned that Callum was hurt, but not overreacting. “I still ain’t about to judge ya Cal…” He stepped slightly away & gestured for Callum to continue.

“There’s a video from my army days…the guys had all been drinkin’…there was this girl…”  
Ben took a long sip of his coffee, offering no response.  
“It looks much worse than it actually was, & I absolutely would of stepped in to stop anyone takin’ it too far…” Callum looked suddenly distraught. Ben nodded his acceptance that was indeed fact.  
“The girl in the video’s just as drunk as the guys & they’re takin’ off some of her clothes…”

Ben scratched a hand to his own stubble. “And you’re in the video?”  
“In the video as a bystander, not a participant…” Callum sought to clarify. “But now Whit’s seen it, as have most other people who were in the Vic last night, & they’ve all made their judgement of me, ain’t they?”  
“You’re a good man Callum, nobody’s gonna think bad of you for long…”  
“Whit will…”  
Ben wanted to defuse the tension. “Who cares what she thinks; you dumped her for me!”

Lowering his mug from his lips, Callum looked exasperated. “I didn’t dump her for you”.  
“Talk about makin’ a boy feel special,” Ben countered, one hand on hip, the other pressed to the kitchen worktop. Callum looked unimpressed at the obvious distraction play, so Ben softened his approach. “She knows that ain’t you Callum, alright. You’re more likely to be walkin’ an old lady across the road than you are to be strippin’ drunk birds…”  
“You didn’t see her face…” Callum remained unconvinced.

“You gotta hand it to the geezer though, I mean, cuttin’ off the competition,” Ben was suddenly the one thinking out loud.  
“I’m not competition am I?” Callum shook his head in bemused disbelief.  
“Draggin stuff out, I mean, that’s like…” Ben scratched at his chin. “That’s like the kind of thing I’d normally do. Mind you, lucky it was you; if he tried that with me, he’d be the one walkin’ down the street naked, I tell ya…” Finally Callum relented a little & offered up the slightest of smiles; Ben’s work of easing his man’s mind was finally done as he answered the phone ringing in his pocket.

“Tubbs…” Ben greeted the caller, while moving in Callum’s direction. “Hang on, slow down, slow down where are ya?” He pressed an affectionate kiss goodbye to Callum’s cheek which he followed swiftly with a mischievous nipple tweak. “Alright, where are ya…” Ben continued his telephone conversation as he walked away, leaving Callum looking on in undeniable amusement. 


	25. Chapter 25

## Unseen scene 25/10/19

_You ok? B x_

Ben sent his text message, then settled back in the driving seat of the Landrover, putting his phone down in his lap & leaning his head against the headrest. He was just about to let his eyes drift momentarily shut when Tubbs took up his excessively dramatic foot tapping in the passenger seat for the third time within the space of fifteen minutes.

“For the love of god man,” Ben sat up abruptly, raising his hands demonstratively in expression of his frustration. “Will you quit with your foot jigglin’…”  
“Can’t help it…” Tubbs fired back bad-temperedly. “I’m wired…”  
“To think the both of us actually survived sharin’ a cell together…” Ben marvelled in exasperation, but was then distracted by his phone bleeping with a response from Callum.

_I’m ok. Gettin’ a few dirty looks off some folk out & about. Guess news of that video has spread x_

Ben inhaled a deep breath of annoyance then set about sending his response.

_Ignore ‘em. I am the only person qualified to give & receive dirty looks when it comes to Callum Highway ;) B x_

A congratulatory smile swept across his face that he had already slipped an innuendo into an exchange he hoped Callum would correctly interpret as him trying to be supportive. 

“Who ya textin’ anyway?” Tubbs latest enquiry cut through his thoughts.  
Ben gave a dismissive shake of his head & pursed his lips. “Don’t mix business with pleasure, that’s my mantra…”  
Tubbs responded with a loud sniff. “Got yourself some new fella then?”  
“You mind your business; I’ll mind mine yeah?” Ben gave back, distracted by awaiting Callum’s next response.

“Well somethin’s put a spring in your step lately,” Tubbs volunteered.  
“I’m just a happy-go-lucky kinda guy, me…” Ben retaliated with an insincere grin. “Now drop it will ya…”  
“You’re the boss…” Tubbs waved a concessionary hand.  
“Too right I am…” Ben finally agreed with his henchman on something as he picked up his phone again to view Callum’s latest message.

_You wanna grab a late lunch with me? x_

Ben glanced at the time on his wristwatch & shook his head in exasperation.

_It’s already gone 3pm Cal, bit late for lunch ain’t it? B x_

_ Shit, has it…Where’d that time go? X_

Callum’s response, which was almost instantaneous, troubled Ben., so he fiddled in his coat pocket for his wallet, drawing out a crisp note that he passed across to Tubbs. “Make ya’self useful yeah? Pop & get me a couple of sandwiches from the Minute Mart…”  
“A couple?” Tubbs queried. “How hungry are you?”  
“Gotta keep me strength up…” Ben feigned a smile.  
“And what if Fowler puts in an appearance?”  
“I’ll call ya…Now, chip chop…” Ben clapped his hands together to impress the sudden urgency.

Tubbs shook his head, clearly thinking his former cell mate was losing his mind, but followed his orders anyway, setting foot outside of the car.  
“Oh & get yourself somethin’ as well…” Ben called after him. “I suggest a dog bone to chew on…”

With Tubbs momentarily out of the picture, Ben pressed his phone to his ear, speaking as soon as Callum answered his call. “You sure you’re alight?”  
“Yeah, I’m ok…” the forlorn response came down the phone with a sigh.  
“Sorry I had to shoot off this mornin’…” Ben’s eyes were rooted to the front door of Dot Cotton’s house, but his mind was definitely elsewhere.  
“S’alright, I know you’re busy…” Callum assured him, then permitted himself a small chuckle. “Wasn’t sure what the whole nipple tweak thing was about though…”

“Oh now come on babe, we both know you loved it…” Ben chortled, opening the door & stepping out from the car.  
“I reckon we both know which of us enjoyed it more…” Callum countered, amusement still evident in his voice.  
“Ain’t my fault I can’t keep my hands off ya…” Ben leant casually against the car’s bonnet, suddenly impatient for Tubbs’ return, & changed his flirtatious tone back to one of concern. “Ya sure the only reason you haven’t eaten any lunch is because you lost track of time?”

“Course, yeah,” Callum confirmed. “Just snowed under here on my own…”  
“Not still bothered by that video then…” Ben suggested in a low voice at the realisation Tubbs was nearly back with him.  
“No more or less bothered than I was this mornin’…” Callum returned. “Just pissed off by it, ya know?”  
“I know…” Ben agreed softly. “Just give me a moment while I deal with a customer yeah? Stay on the line…”

Covering the mouthpiece of the phone with one hand, Ben tossed the car keys to Tubbs with the other. “You take the driver’s seat for a while, I’ll be back shortly…” Ignoring the look of bemusement on the other man’s face, Ben liberated the Minute Mart carrier bag from him to raid its contents. He made a tutting sound as he retrieved two sandwiches from said bag, before thrusting it back at Tubbs. “Not good for the environment these…”

“Where ya goin’?” Tubbs called out after Ben as he began to stride away.  
Balancing the sandwiches under one arm, Ben turned back in the direction of Tubbs, although still retreating from him. He gestured with the hand that was still shielding Callum from hearing any of this exchange down the phone line. He pointed a finger. "Remember that whole conversation we had about business & pleasure? I won't be long, just hold the fort & call me if he appears..." 

With that, Ben turned back away to make more purposeful progress, lifting the phone to his ear once more. "Sorry about that babe, bit of a tricky customer..."  
"Guess that's one advantage of workin' with the dead," Callum returned readily to their conversation. "They don't tend to complain much!"

Ben allowed himself to laugh. "That sense of humour of yours is really comin' along now you're spendin' more time with me..."  
"To be fair, I reckon a sense of humour's needed to be with you..." Callum quipped back, quick as a flash.  
"If I was less of a man I'd be hurt by that babe..."  
"Just as well you're all man then, ain't it?"  
They both enjoyed how easily they could slip into these flirtatious patterns & forget about the outside world for a while at least.

"I'm glad you appreciate that," Ben hummed. "Now, big important question comin' up. D'ya want ham or chicken salad?"  
"Eh?" Callum queried down the phone uncertainly.

Ben wedged his phone between ear & shoulder to free up a hand to open the door into the parlour. He repeated his words as he appeared in Callum's line of vision displaying a radiating smile. "I said, d'ya want ham or chicken salad?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't resist writing this extra chapter as a last minute decision. Fancied writing a bit of cheeky/lovable Ben amidst all the current angst we're seeing on screen.
> 
> Plus I would like to think that Ben did take the time to check on Callum during this particular day, even if he was busy masterminding hanging Martin off a railway bridge. He's a skilled multi tasker after all!
> 
> Thanks to all who keep reading - hope everyone continues to enjoy as much as I enjoy the writing!


	26. Chapter 26

## Unseen scene merging into actual scene of 25/10/19

  
Over their impromptu late lunch, albeit fleeting due to Ben’s work commitments, they’d agreed to meet at Callum’s flat that evening: an unashamed attempt to revisit the broadest sentiment behind their doomed candlelit dinner, albeit without the pretence of any meal this time. They’d both understood Callum’s original invitation had been less about the meal & more about the alone time for them, even if the older man had still been looking forward to showing off his culinary skills.

Callum stared himself down in the mirror as he fastened the collar button on his shirt & took a steadying breath. To truly move forwards, he first needed to confront the past; a day of soul searching had told him that much already, & Ben’s delay in arriving for their date now offered a timely opportunity for Callum to do just that. 

Snatching up his keys, he strode from the flat & made determined progress to E20 to seek out his nemesis. Predictably enough, there he was – Leo King – seated alone at a table, at which Callum purposefully joined him.

“Out on your own? No little boyfriend?” Leo queried casually.  
“How’d you find that video?” Callum was in little mood for messing, & if there was one thing being with Ben had taught him, it was how to stand up to petty jibes.  
“Client confidentiality; sorry,” Leo waved the enquiry away.  
“It weren’t even on my page; it’s not even like I was tagged in it…”

“Shall I explain to you what confidentiality means?” Leo’s flurry of retorts continued.  
“He’s not even on my friends list anymore, so you’d of had to start looking through friends of friends, go through half of my army mates” “And why would I do that?”  
“Cos you wanted to make me look bad in front of Whitney…You wanted to hurt her…”  
“Whatever you did or didn’t do on that video, it wasn’t me mate…”

Callum’s frustration continued to grow. “That’s not the point though, is it? Look, I don’t care about me, so whatever you’re playin’ at…”  
“She’s seen ya for who you are, yeah…”  
“She knows who I am; but what I wanna know is who you are…”  
“I’m just lookin’ out for her…”  
“You follow her back from Turkey…”  
“From the honeymoon that you didn’t go on…”  
“You get a job with all the people that she knows; you do this…”  
“Proper Miss Marple aren’t ya?”

“If I find out that you dug that video up on purpose – no, when I find out – I will make sure that she knows…” Callum continued to assert, refusing to be put off.  
“She doesn’t care what you think…”  
“She’s smart, & she’s brilliant, & she’s funny…And I’ve got her back; she’s my mate…”  
“Beautiful…it’s a shame she doesn’t think the same about you…”

Callum gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head as he engaged Leo in a firm stare, then chose to walk away, knowing he had somewhere better to be, & a better man’s company to keep.

\- - -

“Now our little arrangement is private alright? So that means no Sonia, it means no Kush & it means no running to Jack & the boys in blue. Do you understand?” Ben issued his ultimatum to Martin as the latter was suspended over the railway bridge. “Do you understand?” He repeated firmly.  
“I understand,” Martin agreed reluctantly in hesitant tones.  
“Sorry,” Ben waved a hand to his ear, “I’m a bit deaf, you’re gonna have to…”  
“I understand…” Martin confirmed at the top of his voice.

Ben let out an indignant sniff, scuffing his shoes into the ground for what were several agonising seconds for Martin. “Well,” eventually the Mitchell spoke. “Much as I love hanging around with you, some of us have got places to be…” He smiled at his own joke & began to walk away, tugging up the collar of his coat against the chill of the night air as he went.

“What ya want us to do with him boss?” Tubbs followed on behind Ben, who responded only once they were out of earshot.  
“Give me a couple of minutes head start then let him go…I don’t reckon he’ll be causing us much hassle for the foreseeable…”

Having issued his final instruction, Ben walked away, hands plunged deep into his coat pockets for warmth. He made rapid progress in the direction of Callum’s flat, pressing a hand to the buzzer, & preparing to be contrite for the second time in the space of the same day. He had little intention of allowing Martin Fowler to spoil his romantic intentions again. He just had to hope Callum would see it that way too. 

Emerging into the flat, he found Callum waiting just beyond the door, an unreadable expression on his face.  
Unusually unnerved by that, Ben broke the silence first. “Caught up at work…two days’ runnin’…” He tugged open the buttons of his coat as he ventured closer to the other man’s space until he stood opposite him.  
“Don’t matter…” Callum shook his head, offering his usual calm reassurance. His face looked flushed, as if he’d been the one just out in the cold. 

Ben took the lack of protest as a positive sign, so moved in a little closer, fisting both hands to the front of Callum’s shirt, although still pausing to leave the decision as to what happened next with the taller man.  
Callum wasted little time in closing the gap between them, pulling Ben’s face into his for a kiss, followed by another, then another. The briefest of pauses between each, as each man’s eyes engaged the other’s, both asking the same question. 

Ben tested the water further with a light pull of Callum in his direction, finding himself immediately crowded & pushed backwards across the room until he was backed firmly against the wall. Callum continued to deepen the kiss, his hands gripping ever tighter to the younger man’s face.

Being left in little doubt as to their shared intention, Ben made short work of divesting his own coat, while Callum’s hands moved to roam his biceps. The crash of Ben’s flailing arm into a lamp as he shook the coat from himself did nothing to dampen their spirit, the breathing of both men rising in tempo, although Ben couldn’t resist smiling into their kiss at the sudden eruption of passion. 

Ben took one final look at Callum, took one final check on his man’s resolution to follow through with this intent, & saw nothing there that would cause him to doubt it, so allowed his eyes to drift shut & led their clinch decisively in the direction of the bedroom. 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to caution, in case anyone's offended, I have just amended the rating of this fic to explicit from mature. This chapter is on the explicit side...
> 
> I don't necessarily plan on there being frequent salacious sexual content per se, but this is now leading up to Callum's first time, which is obviously massive for both him & Ben, so I want to acknowledge its importance in the development of their relationship. 
> 
> Thought I'd add in an EastEnders inspired duff-duff-duff moment for the end of this chapter though, just to keep everyone on their toes...

## Unseen scene 25/10/19

As they fumbled their way into the bedroom amidst the continuation of their frenzied, lustful kiss, Callum commandingly pushed his lover against a wall for the second time within the space of a minute, pressing the heat of his body hard against him.

Ben had momentarily been taken unawares by this more forceful, demanding dynamic from Callum, but was quickly coming to realise just what a turn on it was. Callum's lithe physique masking the hidden power in his strong hands, that were now effortlessly keeping Ben pinned just where he wanted him.

The soundtrack to their passionate embrace was a music track playing to itself in the sitting room, accompanied by the chink & clatter of belts as Ben worked expertly to undo first Callum's & then his own. Their kiss was peppered with guttural moans of desire from Ben as their tongues collided deeper still in each other's mouths. 

Ben knew there was a question he needed answering sooner rather than later though, before this took them too far towards the point of no return. Sliding his lower calf between Callum's legs to afford himself some traction against the taller man's unexpected physical strength, Ben spun their embrace around, so he was now pressing Callum to the wall.

"How far?" Ben muttered gruffly into the other man's mouth.  
"How far?" Callum repeated the words quizzically; his eyes still lightly shut as he focused in on each & every sensation coursing through his being.  
Ben leant back from his lips for a moment, wanting to ensure there was no ambiguity in what he was asking of his partner. "How far we taking this tonight?"

Callum's eyes shot open wide to display pupils that were already dilating with arousal. "All the way," he asserted with a soft confidence in his voice, leaning his forehead into Ben's.  
Ben reciprocated the movement, rubbing the bridge of his nose against Callum's. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that," he confirmed with a gentle stroke of his fingers through Callum's hair. "...Although I shall now demonstrate just how happy that makes me by giving you the blow job of your dreams". 

Callum exhaled sharply, part in thrill of what was promised & part in bewilderment that Ben was so brashly sexual & sexualised. In the closet, Callum had conjured solely with illicit thoughts of sweet nothings & physical closeness; in Ben's company he was now regularly confronted by overt sexuality in both physical & verbal form. Two very different worlds were colliding head on now in the most intimate of ways.

Ben was already sliding his way down Callum's torso, tearing hungrily at the buttons on his shirt & leaving a delicious trail of nips & kisses against his skin as he descended to Callum's waistline, at which the younger man dropped to his knees.

With one deft movement Ben had simultaneously stripped Callum of his trousers & boxer shorts, leaving them to drop to his man's ankles. He licked his lips at the sight of Callum's manhood already standing to attention in a state of high arousal, cupping its base firmly with both hands. 

He felt Callum's hands plunge to his neck, where his fingers began to trace along the contours of Ben's hair line. Evidently their evening of exploration of one another's features some nights ago was already yielding fruit, as Callum instantly located the spot that drove Ben wild, the latter vocalising his pleasure with a groan. 

Flashing the tip of his tongue against Callum's cock, Ben began to lightly tease, feeling the instant tension in the fingers at his neck. He increased the tempo of his tongue, releasing one hand to roam to the base of Callum's spine & repeatedly circle an erogenous zone there.

Ben couldn't resist the urge to look up at his lover's face, always eager to view the response his actions elicited. He glanced just in time to see Callum's head tip back in surrender to his fate.

The importance of this night wasn't lost on Ben - he could still remember every detail of his proper first time. The trick now, as the more experienced of the duo, was to be tender, enticing & encouraging without ever being patronising. This was no sympathy fuck - of which he'd granted a few in recent years - this was genuine, mutual spine tingling attraction that need to be rewarded & acknowledged fully.

Engaging the hand still gripped around Callum's cock, Ben began to rock it more fully in & out of his mouth, gradually increasing the tension he emitted with each pulse. As the tempo reached that he could easily sustain with his mouth alone, he slipped both hands to Callum's hips & begin to impress tiny imprints to them with his fingernails.

Callum was becoming markedly firmer to his efforts, which Ben rewarded by absorbing more of him into his mouth. He paused for an instant, gulping down on the pulsating member in his mouth, resulting in an instant tremble that run through Callum's thighs. This was a sex act Ben had performed on Callum before, but both knew at this instant this time meant so much more.

Spurred on by Callum's involuntary impulse, Ben began to rhythmically suck & release, taking ever more of his beau's length into his mouth. Into his being. He looked up again, eager to see that fire in Çallum's eyes, but found his head to doubled back to the wall, his firearm draped across his forehead & covering his eyes. Ben knew, understood & respected that need for utter solitude in such a moment for Callum, resolving he would receive the reward of his lover's eyes again soon enough.

Engaged by that thought, Ben sought to ravish Callum with a satisfying end to this part of their union, thrusting deep & firm at a variety of tempos to bring his man to orgasm. He could recognise the moment was closing in as Callum's fingers first fingered fervently against his scalp, & then a quiver erupted through his thighs; moments later he came into Ben's mouth in a rush of heat & ecstasy, accompanied by breathy exclamations of Ben’s name.

Callum's orgasm had erupted in a kaleidoscope of bright colour behind his closed eyelids - all brilliant reds, oranges & yellows bursting at once in his head. It was an image he longed solely to share with Ben, in all its glorious technicolor. 

Callum took a deep, steadying breath & then began to open his eyes, eager to first express & then share his epiphany with Ben - his lover, his everything.

Callum opened his eyes, aware that Ben was now kissing, sucking & fingering at the soft skin on his inner thighs. He couldn't wait to indulge in more of this shared experience...

...But then the realisation hit of where exactly he was…


	28. Chapter 28

## Unseen scene 25/10/19

“Shit Ben…Shit…”

Ben heard Callum's exclamation, felt the abrupt, sharp tug of his hands to his shirt collar, & simply assumed his partner was eager for more. "Easy tiger..." he grumbled seductively, ascending to his feet & regaining his composure, before reuniting his lips briefly to those of his lover. "We have the whole night ahead of us yet..." Running his hands across Callum's ribs & around to his back, Ben attempted to pull their bodies in the direction of the bed.

"No," Callum insisted, shaking his head fervently, eyes wild. "No we don't. We can't do this here..."  
Ben ran a hand against his cheek. "I hate to break it to you, but we already kinda are..." he smirked, before trying to reconnect their lips.

"Ben," Callum reasserted, pushing the palms of his hands to his partner's chest, in a desperate attempt to put some distance between them. 

Finally, if reluctantly, Ben paused to listen.  
"This," Callum stuttered over his words. "This ain't my room any more...it's Stuart's..." he expelled a sigh. "I switched things around when everything changed..." The regret in his voice was evident to them both. 

Ben retreated a little to consider what he'd heard; his hands remaining flush to Callum's hips though. "Can't say I ain't tempted to at least shoot my load across Uncle Fester's sheets..."  
"Ben!" Callum chastised, albeit half-heartedly.

Ben looked back towards his partner, who instantly reconnected them by leaning in forehead to forehead. Their eyes engaged into a powerful stare, the taller man asking an unspoken question, & his lover returning the answer they both knew was coming. Ghosts from the past were suddenly threatening to derail the moment, as Callum observed a flash of feral vulnerability in Ben's eyes.

It was Callum's time to be the guiding force in the partnership, cupping his palms against Ben's face. "This is everything to me Ben Mitchell; you are everything to me..."

Something in Ben's psyche seemed to respond to that assertion, whether it was his ego or past regrets, though, was unclear. Taking decisive action, he seized Callum's hands, encasing them in his own. "Put your kit back on, I have an idea...," As if then needing to realign the fire & passion of before, he slipped his hands down behind Callum to give a cheeky squeeze to his naked backside. "And be quick about it sexy, because I am hot for you..."

Callum didn't need telling twice, as he fumbled to regather his boxers & trousers from around his ankles. Ben was at a distinct advantage here, given he had been divested of little clothing so far. He seized the opportunity for some playful teasing, moving away to perch against the dressing table. "You don't need to dress to impress sunshine, cos when I get my way, those clothes will all be back on another set of floorboards in 5 minutes’ time..." He raised a suggestive eyebrow & revelled in how his words flustered Callum's attempts at dressing.

"Seriously Cal, just throw on any old t-shirt," he quipped, noticing that Callum's hands were wobbling like jelly as he tried to realign his shirt buttons. "Much quicker to strip you back out of, is a t-shirt..."

"I'd like to see you do this any quicker after you've just had your brains blown out by an insatiable animal between your legs," Callum retaliated with a suggestive grin of his own.

"Would you now..." Ben pushed his weight off the dressing table & moved to stand directly behind Callum, wrapping his arms lightly around his waist & pecking a tender kiss to his man's shoulder blade. "Here's hoping that can be arranged..." he whispered seductively to Callum's ear, delivering a tiny nip to its lobe. Meanwhile his hands delved around to Callum's front to help with fastening the buttons.

With the teamwork that ensued, Callum was back to fully dressed in no time, both of the men having privately enjoyed the unexpected exclusivity of the moment that had just passed.

"Now where did I leave my coat?" Ben grinned, having planted a soft kiss to his lover's cheek. "Ah yes, I remember, it'll be somewhere near that lamp you crashed me into in your haste to have your wicked way with me!"  
Callum shook his head in mock protest.

With his coat retrieved, Ben shrugged himself into it while returning to the bedroom to see what was keeping Callum. He found him checking out his reflection in the mirror as he quaffed his hair. "I wouldn't be bothering too much with that hair style of yours either," Ben warned. "Because it'll be ruffled up in no time when I start fisting my hot hands through it..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had to address the conundrum of which flipping bedroom in that flat actually is Callum's!!! A saga that still remains pressing even today in real time.
> 
> Callum most definitely told Whitney he'd moved into the box room to give the double to Stuart & Rainie, as was played out by the latter being locked in there when Stuart made her go cold turkey. 
> 
> Quite clearly though the Ballum boys were edging their way mid romp into the double room at the end of the scene of 25/10. Stuart was still on the Square at this point, so I don't care how carried away with passion Callum was, at some point he'd have realised & become awkward at the notion.
> 
> Yes, I'm overthinking again!
> 
> Even now, in the breakup hell week of December, Stuart & Rainie were seen coming out of the double room one morning, but Callum then emerged from it when it came to him confronting Ben with the blood-stained shirt...
> 
> The devil is always in the detail, but now I've got myself into this mess, I'm gonna have to see it through!


	29. Chapter 29

## Unseen scene 25/10/19

"So where we goin?" Callum questioned eagerly, gripping his hand a little tighter into Ben's.  
"Patience," the teased response came through the dark of the night, accompanied by a gentle squeeze to their intertwined fingers. "By the way, might have slipped my mind to mention it earlier Cal, but you are looking mighty fine tonight may I say..." Although Ben wasn't readily prone to shyness, some things remained easier to say when his face was shielded by the darkness.

Callum beamed to himself with quiet delight; he increasingly adored it when Ben lavished praise upon him. "Yeah the dark night sky really brings out the colours in my hair," he quipped easily, knowing the black of the night made what he was saying an improbability.

Ben stopped them in their tracks & turned in abruptly to face him. "And it brings out the strength in your arms; the magic in your fingers; the taste on your lips," he listed longingly, leaning in for a hungry kiss. "I don't know who the guy is that met me all intent & demanding at the door of his flat this evening, but I find him incredibly hot..."

Callum tugged at the lapels of Ben's coat, keen to bring their bodies closer, & resurrected the kiss between them, albeit broken up by his response. "Say hello to Callum Highway version 2.0..."

Ben lingered in the enjoyment of their kiss for a moment, before edging away to admire the man before him. "Well hello Callum Highway version 2.0," he smirked. "It is very, very nice to meet you". He returned to their kiss, muttering his next words through it. "Very, very nice indeed..."

Their kiss deepened, leaving Callum momentarily struggling to get his repost out. "Bit late for introductions, don't ya reckon, given what you were just doin' to me in my flat..."

Ben couldn't resist the grin breaking out across his features. He knew Callum sometimes felt overwhelmed by what he perceived to be Ben's brazen sexualisation of situations. He knew the concept of sexy, suggestive chat didn't come easily to Callum, but here was his man giving it a go for him. 

Ben rewarded the effort by engaging his tongue in a tantalising dance with Callum's, & slipped his hands to cup his arse. "That was only the warm up sexy; just you wait for the main event..."


	30. Chapter 30

## Unseen scene 25/10/19

"Here?" Callum's step faltered as it dawned on him where Ben was leading them. Their hectic progress across the Square had been punctuated by passionate clinches & kisses between them, heightened by the anticipation of what was to come.

"Problem?" Ben's question was accentuated by the raise of an eyebrow, as he kicked the back gate closed behind them.  
"You want me to have sex with you in Phil Mitchell's house?"  
Ben raised a reassuring hand to the side of Callum's head. "I want us to have sex _together_ in Phil Mitchell's house," he corrected, on a point of technicality. It felt important for him to emphasise this was an act of mutual, reciprocating participation; not a case of lying back & thinking of England. A one-night stand this was not.__

_ __ _

Still, he could understand Callum's reticence, & knew he needed to acknowledge the reason they'd relocated here in the first place. His raised hand delivering tender strokes to Callum's temple. "I know it's not ideal, & I know it's all down to my insecurities that we ain't still holed up in your flat.. "

_ __ _

Callum too raised a hand to meet his lover's cheek. "It don't matter to me where we are Ben, as long as we're together". He leant in for a kiss that Ben was all too glad to receive, before the younger man steadily retreated from it to locate the key to the back door, which was secreted, or perhaps not so secreted, under a flower pot. His hand remained intertwined with Callum's throughout.

_ __ _

Twisting the key in the lock & reaching around the door to switch on a light, Ben turned back to Callum. "Essentially it was either here, Ian's or the car lot..." He tugged the older man towards the threshold. "Nobody needs the added pressure of Ian Beale perving outside the bedroom door on their first time, & I don't fancy the carpet burn from that skanky floor covering at the Lot..."

_ __ _

Callum raised an inquisitive eyebrow as he crossed through the door. "Carpet burn?"  
"Much plusher _shags_ here," Ben grinned, congratulating himself on his latest innuendo, as he locked the door behind them, then settled into the space immediately in front of his man.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

_ __ _

"This whole place is all ours to do what we want, where we want..." Ben uttered at a whisper, expelling warm breaths as he trailed a series of kisses from Callum's ear to his mouth. With deft hands he simultaneously began to slip Callum's jacket from his shoulders. "Sharon & Phil are still sunning themselves in Portugal; Lou & her dozy mechanic are over at Mel's, so I can guarantee us no interruptions.. "

_ __ _

_ __ _

_ __ _

Softly, tantalisingly, Ben's lips began to tug at Callum's, eager to resurrect their earlier passion. He could feel Callum's responsiveness to the kiss, but still sensed some hesitance.

_ __ _

_ __ _

_ __ _

Ben raised his hands to each of Callum's upper arms, delivering a reaffirming caress to them. "Don’t go quiet on me now Cal," he urged tenderly, noting his partner's eyes had slipped closed at some point. 

_ __ _

_ __ _

_ __ _

With his hands still holding firm to the taller man's arms, Ben extended upwards to rest his head to Callum's. "Show me that fire Callum Highway 2 0..." he entreated, his voice laden with lustful intent.

_ __ _

_ __ _

_ __ _

Callum's eyes opened wide, meeting with Ben's to engage in an intense stare. It was then Ben realised those eyes were telling him he'd been mistaken: Callum wasn't hesitant because of any second thoughts he was having; he was hesitant because there was so much desire coursing through his veins that he didn't even know where to begin.

_ __ _

_ __ _

_ __ _

Ben rewarded his newly-opened eyes with a smile that oozed warmth & want. "Come on you," he clasped a hand to his. "Let's go & put some of those thoughts doing double time through your head into practice..."

_ __ _

_ __ _

_ __ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is; I had to work out a way to transfer them from Callum's flat to the Mitchell household, given that's where they were the next time we saw them.
> 
> Does my mind ever actually stop making these tenuous links & connections!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a chapter of Epic Proportions (Insert your own Ben Mitchell-esque innuendo here).
> 
> Not sure I ever envisaged myself as a writer of sex scenes, but needs must for the sake of Ballum. I think their physical contact - & sex by extension of that - often shines a light on the state of their relationship, so I will write it when I think it adds something to the narrative.
> 
> That said, I have no idea if this is any good - I've tried to stick to the mantra of keeping them in character throughout, regardless of what their hands, mouths & various other parts of their anatomy are up to at any point...

## Unseen scene 25/10/19

"Mmmm..." Ben licked his lips salaciously, enjoying the press of Callum's body, Callum's chest, Callum's face to his. "Pinned to a wall three times in the space of an hour...How lucky a boy am I?" 

Callum teased the briefest of kisses to his lips, then let his face retreat a little. "Ben Mitchell," he chastised gruffly, "do you ever actually shut up?" 

"Not that often," Ben answered swiftly, his lips already seeking more contact with those of his beau. "I'm a talker you see..." he paused to kiss Callum's lips. "And quite the moaner too..." Seeking to emphasise his point, he returned his lips to Callum's, this time running his tongue along his lover's lower lip & expelling a soft groan with it.

"And then, when it's really good, I can be quite the screamer..." He reconnected their kiss, although this time it was messier, more reckless than before.

"You know what," Callum mumbled into his mouth between kisses.  
"What?" Ben questioned, his breath hot & shallow as he moved his face closer still to Callum's.  
"I'm gonna make it my life's mission to stun you into silence..."  
"Give it your best shot,” Ben accepted willingly. "I'm always up for a challenge".

Their chat relented as Callum's hands sought out either side of Ben's face & he instigated a fuller kiss between them, although not before he had issued one last retort. "Just shut up & kiss me Ben Mitchell".

Ben was more than happy to acquiesce, resting his head back against the wall & submitting first to Callum's lips & then to his tongue. He found himself unusually content to be dictated to by the other man, recognising the need in Callum to take control of his own destiny for a while. 

Callum's fingers crept to the back of Ben's shirt collar & began to oscillate against his neck, teasing a momentary gasp to escape from Ben's lips. There was some sort of magic in those long fingers when they set to work.

Ben's hands craved similar skin on skin contact, so he slid them to the underside of Callum's shirt & glided his palms along his ribcage. Something about this man had awoken an unprecedented need in Ben for sensuality; something he'd resolutely shied away from in recent times.

Reacting to the heat of Ben's touch, Callum relented from their kiss & relocated his hands to Ben's waist, stalling for a moment to take in the man before him, as if he was running something through his mind.

Ben tilted his head slightly to offer a quizzical enquiry, his hands continuing to traverse Callum's torso, but he said nothing, simply gazing back into his partner's eyes. 

Callum held firm; for the first time in their relationship not shying or wilting away from the intensity of Ben's presence. He took in a steadying breath & then gave voice to the words scrolling through his mind. "Ben Mitchell - will you go to bed with me?"

Ben secretly thrilled at that. Not just at the question, but also at the utter sincerity & self-conviction in which it was asked. There could be no greater contrast to their more primal, instinctive union of earlier in the evening, yet both approaches felt equally thrilling. 

Ben pushed lightly yet decisively against Callum's chest, easing them both gently away from the wall. "I was beginning to think you'd never ask," he teased with a playful wink, aligning his mouth with Callum's neck & beginning to nip delicately at it.

Callum savoured the sensation for a moment, breathing in deeply the intoxicating aroma of Ben's aftershave. He could feel the want, the need, fast rising in his being for greater intimacy of contact between them though. Lifting his hand to Ben's chin, he guided their mouths back together. Gone were the sweet, gentle kisses of before, replaced now by a hungry exchange driven by desire.

Callum's hands set to work on Ben's shirt buttons, releasing them far more quickly than his earlier fumbling with his own shirt. Within no time, the shirt was released from Ben's body & cast aside on the floor beneath them.

"Mmm," Ben mumbled into their kiss. "Impressively fast fingers..." His own now starting to tug away at the top buttons of Callum's shirt. "I can do it even quicker though..." At which he pulled at the collar & sleeves of Callum's shirt to pull it directly over his head. Again, the unwanted apparel was discarded on the floor.

Their kiss deepened again, tongues intertwining further within each other's mouths. Still though Callum managed to voice a response. "Sorry, is this a competition or somethin'?"

Ben smirked in response, their mouths still not relenting for even a second. "It's the sort of competition where we're both winners..."  
"Now that I like the sound of," Callum glowed in response, placing his hands to Ben's belt loops & leading them both ever closer to the bed.

As Callum's hands began to roam freely around Ben's lower back, stomach & waist band, Ben disengaged their mouths & began to deposit a trail of kisses down Callum's upper body, just as he had earlier in the evening. He could sense a tightening through Callum's body at the sheer memory of what had been before. 

He continued to descend further, causing an expectant gasp to escape Callum's lips. Ben's face nestled briefly into his crotch area, nudging against the already growing bulge hidden beneath the garments there, but he didn't linger for long.

"My, Mr Highway," he began suggestively. "What big feet you have..." With a sudden swoop to the floor, he unlaced the shoes on Callum's feet & threw them away, one to each side. "You know what they say..." he affirmed mischievously, "big feet..." Without warning, he clenched his mouth to the hem of one of his socks & tore it from Callum's foot. "...Big heart..." he finished, spitting the now unoccupied sock from his mouth. He then repeated the feat with Callum's other sock.

Callum chuckled in amusement. "So, when they talk about a big ego...?" He teased, watching Ben return to his feet.  
Ben smiled evenly, although with an obvious glint in his eyes. "They mean a fucking enormous..."  
Callum seized his mouth in another kiss before he could finish the sentence

Ben wasn't ever one to be silenced though, so took Callum's hand in his, placing them to his own semi-aroused crotch. He felt a grin of satisfaction erupt across Callum's mouth as they continued to kiss, again with ever-increasing urgency 

Callum started to tug at the belt on Ben's trousers, suddenly eager to claim his prize waiting beneath. Ben reciprocated the act with equal enthusiasm, while simultaneously kicking the shoes from each of his own feet. 

The sound of trousers being unzipped in unison was peculiarly loud & alluring in the silence of the night, & both men fiddled furiously to release the fabric from each other's waists. As the offending items fell to the floor, they both shuffled their ankles free of them.

Callum clutched firmly at Ben's waist, pulling it into his, & felt the instant satisfaction of their increasingly hard cocks pressing against each other. His hands began to roam at the waistband of Ben's boxers, tugging them down impatiently. 

Ben responded by dropping his lips to Callum's neck & teasing a series of nips & kisses to it. Uninhibited groans of pleasure began to escape Ben's mouth as he felt Callum take his length in his hand for the first time & stroke his fingers caressingly along it. 

"Can I..." Callum's voice came through hoarse with desire, as he stumbled tentatively through a moment of uncertainty. "I mean..."  
Ben diverted his attention to look up into Callum's eyes with a deep stare that spoke of total trust & reassurance. "You can do anything you want with me..."

Callum took instant confidence from that assertion, leaning in for another kiss while guiding their bodies in the direction of the bed. They collapsed down clumsily on the mattress under Callum's direction, with the taller man's stomach ending up straddled beneath Ben's thighs

"Fancy seeing you here..." Ben smirked suggestively, although the wide innocence of Callum's eyes soon told him his words had fallen on deaf ears. Callum's gaze was transfixed: captivated by the sight of Ben's semi-aroused member now directly in front of him.

Ben leant downwards to run a hand down Callum's cheek. He recognised this emotion: the bewilderment & tantalisation of being in such immediate proximity to another man's arousal for the first time. Sure, there had been hand & blow jobs exchanged between them to date, but always under cover of darkness or beneath the sheets. This was Callum's first time at experiencing all the sights & sensations in glorious technicolor 

Ben's thumb briefly brushed along Callum's cheek to bring him back from his reverie. "It's all yours," Ben invited in hushed, aroused tones. "I am all yours..."

Callum's gaze left Ben's manhood to engage him in a lust-filled stare. No further words needed to be spoken, because all the impetus, intent & assurance he needed in that moment was exchanged between their eyes.

Callum's palm lifted up to the back of Ben's neck, guiding his head towards his for a tender kiss. His palm soon relocated onto Ben's chest though, pushing gently against it to urge their lips to part & his man to straighten his back up so he was knelt a little further up Callum's chest again.

Inclining his shoulder blades upwards & off the mattress, Callum's head sought out Ben's cock, the very tip of which he took softly into his mouth, a gesture which was welcomed with a moan of want from Ben.

Grasping the base with one hand, Callum slipped its tip from his mouth & proceeded to tease his tongue slowly along its length. Ben took in a deep, steadying breath & momentarily cupped his hands to Callum's head, where he delivered a soft kiss to the back of his hair. He then leant back up, tall & proud, to watch his man at work.

Growing in confidence at the sight of Ben's obviously already increased arousal, & encouraged on by his sporadic moans of delight, Callum let his hand gyrate rhythmically at the base of the cock, while his mouth returned to enveloping it once more, this time pursing his lips around it to suck, lightly at first & then a little more firmly.

Ben's hands moved to Callum's shoulders, urging his momentum on, his fingernails digging in lightly to the older man's skin. The response came immediately, as Callum increased the pressure his mouth was applying, causing Ben to gasp in appreciation. His eyes were fixed on Callum's actions, thrilling at seeing his manhood being taken into his lover's mouth.

Callum suddenly took him in deeper, glancing upwards to see how his actions were being received. He was met by Ben's lustful gaze urging him on. As Callum fulfilled that wish, Ben leant his head back & closed his eyes, emitting a long groan of satisfaction. His hands braced on the bed behind him as he felt a surge of heat rush through his veins.

"Callum," he moaned gruffly. "Cal..." he repeated more urgently, cupping a hand to the crotch of his partner, which instantly attracted Callum's eyes to his. "My top is about to well & truly blow, so if the plan is still to take this all the way?" He teased a hand through his man's somewhat dishevelled hair.

Callum reluctantly slid his mouth from Ben's swollen appendage. "All the way is definitely still the plan," he confirmed, with a lick of his tongue along his bottom lip. 

Ben roughly tugged Callum's head up by the hair so their lips could collide into a hectic kiss. "You give splendid head Mr Highway," he praised breathlessly into his mouth, before gently pushing Callum down flat onto the bed to disengage their kiss.

Ben's lips began to trail their way down Callum's sternum, his tongue licking tantalisingly at the skin as he descended, his own lower body weight similarly shuffling down the bed as he travelled.

Tiny electrical pulses were tingling their way down Callum's body every time Ben's tongue feathered against him, leaving him gasping in ecstasy. Ben soon discovered a particularly ticklish spot just beneath Callum's belly button so lingered there a while, licking, nipping & kissing, meanwhile making short work of stripping off Callum's boxers.

The taller man writhed beneath him in a struggle to kick the boxers loose from his ankles, so Ben took the opportunity to redistribute his body position to lie virtually flat on top of Callum.

The sudden press of Ben's hard on to Callum's semi-erect penis caught Callum unawares, & a breath of air caught in his throat. Ben responded with a knowing smile, then pressed his hips downwards into Callum's to increase the contact between them.

As he initiated a grinding movement from below the waist, Ben let his lips travel back up Callum's body in the manner they had previously descended. His mouth this time sought contact with one of Callum's nipples, sucking at it with relish. His hand meanwhile found Callum's cock, which he began to rhythmically jerk at.

Callum's head tipped back, mouth open to take in short gasps of air. "Ben, Jesus..." he exhaled at the sudden rush of sensations.

Ben's actions relented at the realisation his lover was close to climax. Positioning their erections back in skin to skin, friction creating contact, his lips sought out those of the other man, as he mumbled into them between a succession of wet, messy kisses. "Can I have you inside me?"

"You can have me anywhere you want me..." Callum confirmed breathlessly, knowing at that moment he was likely to cede to any request this man made of him.

Ben greeted his consent by deepening the kiss between them, cupping his hands to either side of Callum's face. Both men’s eyes remained firmly open throughout, each transmitting a message of implicit trust & understanding between them.

Ben rolled his body off & away from Callum's to delve into his jacket pocket, from which he produced a packet of condoms & lube.  
"Somebody came prepared..." Callum teased at a whisper into his ear from his position behind him, slipping a kiss to Ben's muscular shoulder.

"Better safe than sorry babe," Ben entreated softly. "Now if I help slip you into one of these," he shook the pack of condoms in explanation, "maybe you can give me a hand, or at least a couple of fingers, with this..." He tossed the container of lube in Callum's direction & saw the instant uncertainty that formed in his brow.

Ben had always known Callum's baby gay status would catch up with them eventually, so his apparent innocence in the use of lube wasn't totally unexpected. Much as Ben had no interest in creating or perpetuating a teacher-pupil vibe in their sexual encounters, this was one lesson he knew Callum needed to be taught 

Straddling his thighs either side of Callum's waist once more, Ben leant in for a tender kiss & squatted down on his haunches. "Safe sex is about more than one of these little beauties for us..." Ben began his quiet explanation as he placed the condom packet to one side. "It's also about making sure you ain't gonna cause me an injury with this impressive member of yours. " He stroked his palm along Callum's length then met his man's questioning gaze across it. "A bit of lube applied inside the right places makes all the difference..." 

Ben watched the dawn of realisation spread across Callum's features, accompanied by a slight flush of embarrassment. "Come 'ere," he smiled encouragingly. "Let me teach those magic fingers of yours a brand new trick..."

Ben unstraddled Callum & repositioned himself in the centre of the bed, with his legs spread wide apart, leaving an inviting gap for the other man to fill.

Callum crawled into that space unquestioningly, & knelt in as close as was feasible. Ben liberated the lube from his grasp, then wrapped his hands around the nape of Callum's neck to draw him into a kiss, while unsettling the tube's cap between his fingers.

Sustaining their kiss, Ben drew his hands away in search of one of Callum's. With calm assurance, he squeezed some lube onto their conjoined fingers & started to massage it into Callum's digits. "The key here is not to rush it, ok?"  
Callum dug his fingers deeper into Ben's, responding only with a nod.  
"Take your time & above all enjoy yourself," Ben asserted his now familiar request of his man, before giving one final vow of confidence. "You are everything, Callum Highway..."

Ben then returned one hand to Callum's neck, drawing him down onto him, until Ben's back lay against the mattress. He steadily entwined a leg around Callum’s waist, while using a hand to guide their lubed fingers to his own hole, & initiating them both toying gently at it. “You tell me when you’re ready for the next step, ok?” he entreated softly, then sought out Callum’s lips again.

“Er, should that not be the other way round?” Callum muttered into their kiss, recognising that the person being penetrated should really be the one to set the pace.  
“Not for tonight,” Ben assured him quietly. “Everything that happens tonight is about you…” He reinforced the power of his words by cupping both hands to Callum’s face, leaving the older man’s lubed fingers to now work solo.

Callum intensified their kiss, clenching one hand over Ben’s, still on his own face, while letting the fingers of his other hand explore their new terrain. “Wow babe…” Ben teased into their kiss, streaking his tongue along his lover’s lower lip, requesting fuller access to his mouth. “Those fingers of yours felt amazing enough working at the back of my neck earlier, they feel even better now down there…”

They settled into an open mouthed, heated kiss for a few moments, until both came to realise Callum’s fingers had ceased their circling & one was now hovering motionless, tentative, against Ben’s hole.  
“If it feels right, go with it babe…” Ben whispered, a sudden hitch in his breath, eye contact with the other man held firm.

Callum took in a long, steadying breath, then cautiously penetrated the hole with a single digit, erupting a shallow growl from his lover.  
"Oh shit," Callum grimaced, leaning up a little, "have I hurt you?"  
Ben lifted his shoulders up from the grasp of the mattress to caress Callum's neck & plant a gentle kiss to his lips. "You haven't hurt me & you won't hurt me, so long as you’re responsive to what you're feeling & I'm giving back to you..."

Ben indulged another short kiss between them, then sank back down on to the mattress. In truth, it had been a while & he was experiencing some initial discomfort. Sexual encounters with a variety of partners had been regular territory in recent times, but rarely, if ever, on the penetrative level.  
Callum meanwhile was suddenly a study in concentration, sitting back up straight between Ben’s legs, having apparently taken the younger man’s assertion to heart that he needed to be alert to his task.

Ben couldn’t quite decide if he found it endearing to have such an attentive lover, or infuriating that he had temporarily disengaged their increasing passion. In the absence of truly knowing how to deal with either scenario, he settled on his fallback of gentle teasing. “Anyone ever told ya how incredibly sexy ya look when you’re deep in concentration babe?”  
Callum shot him a look of flushed embarrassment.  
“Oh yeah,” Ben grinned flirtatiously. “That most definitely does it for me…” He shifted his weight as he spoke to slightly increase the depth of Callum’s finger within him.

Callum seemed to either take that as a hint, or was just in desperate need of avoiding his partner’s further teasing, so he cautiously extended his finger further, then eased it back a little, beginning to tentatively explore the sensation.  
Ben was powerless to stop a moan of longing escape his lips. "Mmm, feels good babe. How's it for you?"

Callum leant forward to deposit a kiss against Ben's stomach, earning another groan of satisfaction from the younger man as it further increased the pressure within him. He then rested his chin to his lover's stomach & peered up at him with electrified eyes. “Feels like I’m surrounded by you, which is all I could ever want…”

Ben tussled his hands roughly through Callum’s hair. “Come ‘ere, I want your mouth back on mine…” Tugging gently at his hairline, Ben guided Callum’s head back to his, the change in their position again meaning the older man’s finger was stretching ever deeper into his lover. 

Ben collided their mouths together in a hungry kiss & began rolling his hips upwards as unspoken confirmation that he was ready & eager for more. “Add another…” he prompted breathlessly into their kiss. “Want to surround even more of you…”

Callum was over his previous stage fright & readily did as instructed, easing a second finger into Ben, who moaned deliciously at the addition. “Need to reward that,” Ben pronounced with a hum that vibrated into Callum’s mouth, his hand dipping to seek out both Callum’s cock & his own, stroking them teasingly together in unison, causing an audible gasp to slip from the other man’s lips. 

“How ya doin’ there gorgeous?” Ben checked in tenderly with his man, briefly nuzzling the bridge of their noses together.  
“M, good,” Callum chimed. “Just hopin’ it ain’t that obvious I have absolutely no idea what I’m doin’…”  
Ben smirked. “You’re doin’ me; that’s what you’re doin’…”  
Callum shook his head in disapproval. “I know ya said you’re a bit of a talker durin’ sex, but this is gettin’ ridiculous…”  
“You wanna know a way to shut me up?” Ben tantalised, his hand still caressing their appendages combined within it.  
“Anythin’ to shut you up…” Callum agreed, his lips seeking out those of the other man again.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Ben declined, pressing a finger to Callum’s lips. “If ya really want to shut me up, let those fingers of yours roam about a bit & see what they can find…”  
Callum did as he was told, increasing the work rate of his fingers, finding it instantly matched by the pressure Ben applied in turn to his cock. Sensory overload beckoned, Callum was certain, as he swallowed down hard in acknowledgement not just of the building heat in his groin, but also the red-hot heat that was Ben around his digits. As the younger man’s fingers crept to cup his balls, Callum felt seconds from a total loss of control, so closed his eyes in an attempt to stem the torrent.

“Fff…uck…”  
Callum’s eyes flew open again as the broken expletive cascaded from Ben’s mouth & his grip on Callum relented. The older man was about to rush into a string of apologies, convinced he had done something terribly wrong, but was stopped firmly in his tracks by the sight of Ben beneath him: facial muscles contorting, pupils dilating, hands fisting at the bed sheets. 

“Do…do that again babe…” Ben urged, suddenly breathless, engaging his man with a wicked smile.  
Callum had no idea what he’d just done to cause such rapture, but knew instantly he wanted an action replay, so pressed his fingers more firmly into Ben, hoping beyond hope that would be the right course of action. He was instantly rewarded with another breathy gasp from his lover. “There…” Ben choked the word out, his face suddenly beaming with delight. “That spot, right there, that’s the one…”

Callum made a mental note that he really needed to read up on male anatomy, given he was still clueless as to what spot he’d hit. For now though, he’d just enjoy Ben’s response to it. “You mean this spot here?” Callum pressed his fingers deep in Ben again, & watched on in awe as the man began to squirm beneath him  
“That spot, right there…” Ben confirmed breathlessly, his face beginning to flush with heat

Callum was both astounded & enchanted at the speed at which the younger man then began to come apart beneath him as he fumbled against his prostate repeatedly, soon adding a third finger to further increase his lover’s pleasure.  
“F…uck Cal…” Ben writhed on the bed as he shouted the words out, before his mouth formed into a perfect oval shape & all he could do was concentrate on breathing through the waves of pleasure surging through his body.

Callum couldn’t lie; this vision of Ben was an absolute turn on to him. Dipping his head down, he collided his lips to his beau’s, seeking instant gratification from a wet, open mouthed kiss.  
Ben’s eyes opened wide at the unexpected incursion, but he returned it with vigour, eyes boring deep into those of the other man, while his hands fumbled about the mattress seeking something out.

On finally retrieving the unwrapped condom packet, Ben seized it between his fingers, then brought it into Callum’s line of vision. “Need,” he began to assert between kisses, “…no… want you now…”

“Want you too,,,” Callum concurred with hot breath.  
“Courageous that…” Ben began to smother heated kisses to his partner’s jaw line, fingers tearing at the foil packet contained within them. “Hot, sexy & utterly courageous…” he entreated tenderly. “Sit up…” He pressed a palm to his lover’s chest, then pushed himself up too, a sigh slipping from his lips as Callum’s digits withdrew from inside him. Reconnecting their mouths urgently, his hands sought out Callum’s erection to roll the condom along it. 

A shiver ran through Callum’s entire body at that touch alone, earning him a tantalising smile from Ben, who continued to lavish kisses upon him, tracing a finger first up, then back down his torso. “Anyone seen the lube lately?” Ben queried at a soft whisper to Callum’s ear, before nipping at its lobe.  
“Hope to god it’s close by…” Callum growled, as his manhood was once again enveloped by Ben’s hand. The thought of breaking away from their latest clinch suddenly too much to bear, the older man’s hands began to search furiously about the bedsheets around him, a sigh of pure relief escaping his mouth as he located the container of lube.

“Mmmm…” Ben hummed, one hand working a rhythm to Callum’s cock, the other tracing circles against one of his nipples, mouth still nipping & licking against his jawline & neck. “Knew those big hands of yours would find it in no time…Pour some down there will ya babe…” He nodded in the direction of his man’s cock, now in a high state of arousal. “My hands are a bit busy at the moment…”

Callum didn’t need asking twice, decanting a generous amount of the lube onto his own manhood, although instantly hissing at its cold contrast against his own raging white heat.  
“Rookie error that,” Ben teased softly, with absolutely no malice to his words. “Soon have ya warmed up again though…” Leaning his mouth to Callum’s neck, he smooched a trail of wet kisses along it, while his hands worked the lube along Callum’s sheathed length. As his mouth & hands continued their work, Ben’s gaze lifted to meet that of Callum’s.

“Oh Jesus…” Callum leant his head back & threw an arm across his face to shield his own eyes from Ben’s. “Probably best I don’t look at you for a minute…” Ben’s lust-filled eyes, in combination with his insatiable two-pronged attack on Callum’s senses, was almost enough in itself to send Callum over the edge. 

“You want us to slow this down a bit?” Ben stalled his movements to deliver just the lightest of strokes to Callum’s cock, & reach the tenderest of pecked kisses to his mouth.  
Callum allowed his arm to drop from his face, settling a hand to Ben’s instead. For several agonising seconds, all he could do was focus on actually remembering to breath, until the words he wanted to say tumbled from his mouth in a rush. “Could do with speedin’ it up if I’m honest, not sure I can handle much more of this…”

Ben engaged him in a gaze that spoke of total sincerity & devotion. “There’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ so hot for this; in fact, I love that you are…” Scooting his body back on the bed so he could prop himself against the pillows, Ben reached his hand out as an invitation for Callum to follow on. Callum took his hand & allowed himself to be guided to his knees directly in front of the other man.

Ben leant forwards & cupped a hand to Calum’s cheek, trailing his thumb across his face. “Been thinkin’ about this for such a long time…”  
“M…me too…” Callum swallowed down hard.  
“Do one thing for me?” Ben sealed their lips together for a kiss.  
“Anythin’,” Callum muttered into their mouths.  
Ben broke away from the kiss. “Don’t overthink any of what comes next ok? Just go with it…”  
“Go with it…” Callum nodded in agreement, his lips already chasing their way back to the younger man’s.

Ben grinned into their kiss & leant back against the pillows, pulling Callum down with him by the neck. The kiss deepened instantly, tongues interlocking, as each man felt the firm press of their lengths against one another. Callum clearly was intent on going with it, as without a second thought he dipped his hips to grind them against Ben’s; the other man reciprocating by bucking his hips up in unison. 

“So hot babe…” Ben encouraged, letting his fingers play at the nape of Callum’s neck, while he effortlessly shuffled his weight downwards a little. Callum only noticing the alteration to their position when he found his cock now making contact with the younger man’s stomach, & Ben’s in turn nudging up against his thigh.

Ben indulged one last open-mouthed kiss between them, then whispered into Callum’s ear. “Crouch back on your knees…” Both men understood Callum was grateful to take some instruction at this point, so he did as he was asked unquestioningly. Once restored to that position, Ben raised both of his own knees, planting his feet flat on the mattress either side of Callum’s waist, then bucking his hips upwards slightly & shuffling himself forward into the taller man’s lap. 

Callum wasn’t sure he’d ever see a sight more erotic ever again in his lifetime: there in front of him was this most glorious man offering himself up entirely to him, open, pliant & utterly irresistible. 

Ben reached for one of Callum’s hands, selecting the longest of the fingers he found there & drawing it to his own mouth. In a teasing motion, he drew the digit all the way along his lips, opened his mouth to first lap his tongue against the finger, then guided it in to his mouth where he could suck down lightly on it. Subtle he was not, leaving Callum in no doubt that the next move was his, & exactly what it should be.

Arousal mixed with trepidation proved a heady mix for Callum, as he threatened to fall apart there & then under Ben's wanton gaze. Taking first courage, then himself, in hand though, he swallowed down hard the rush of emotions within, & held his manhood to Ben's hole. 

Ben glanced down; Callum glanced down. Both momentarily entranced, before Ben decisively snapped them out of it. "Really hot babe," he sucked down hard on Callum's finger again. "Why don't ya come inside to play..."

Callum expelled a frustrated groan at the younger man's shameless antics, but eased himself into Ben all the same, earning an instant moan of Mitchell approval. He felt engulfed by heat: not just from his own body, but from within his lover too. The sensation was almost too much, so he stalled in an attempt to regain some composure.

Ben sensed his man's need for some reassurance, so slipped his finger from his mouth & combined their hands together instead, dropping a series of kisses to Callum's knuckles. "Feels amazin', don't it?" he entreated softly.

"Feels..." Callum gasped out breathlessly. "Feels..." he repeated, struggling to find the words.  
"I know babe, I know," Ben intervened, placing more kisses to Callum's hand. The younger man then bit down onto his own lip. "The feels only get even better from here on in..."

From nowhere, Callum suddenly engaged Ben with a bright smile: the type Ben thought could probably still dazzle him on even the darkest of days. "Better get on with it then, hadn't I?" Callum grinned.

"Yeah?" Ben queried with the raise of an eyebrow, then almost immediately inhaled, "Oh yeah," as Callum pushed into him further. Ben didn't know what silent, private resolve Callum had stumbled across in his moment of self-reckoning, & quite frankly didn't care, because he was now reaping the benefits of it.

Within a matter of seconds Callum had pressed himself even deeper into Ben & altered their position to hold himself over the shorter man, palms pressed to the bed either side of Ben's head for purchase.

Callum's first few exploratory thrusts were tentative, uncertain even, as he looked into Ben's eyes, seeking confirmation from his partner that all was well. "This ok?" he questioned warily.

Ben seized their mouths together in a passionate clinch, then broke away to respond. "Ain't even gonna entertain that with an answer..." As he spoke, he flung a leg around Callum's waist. "Just shag me senseless, will ya?"

Having issued his demand, Ben hungrily reunited their mouths, emitting ever deepening moans of encouragement whenever Callum thrust deeper, harder, faster than before.

Teeth clattered against teeth when Ben started to buck his hips upwards in time with Callum's thrusts. Keen to guard against unwanted dentistry bills, Ben slid his lips to Callum's neck, where he bit, licked & kissed over his Adam's Apple, earning growls of satisfaction from the older man.

“Oh, oh, oh…” A sudden rush of exclamation trembled from Ben’s lips, vibrating each time against that sensitive spot of Callum’s neck, before Ben withdrew & let his head slump back against the bed. Callum recognised the signs this time - Ben’s eyes rolling back in his head; his mouth forming into a perfect oval as deep, breathy gasps rapidly escaped it – knowing he was striking that sweet spot deep inside him once more. 

Callum also knew from before though that this sight of Ben had previously been his own undoing & that if he was to have a hope of finishing what he’d started, he needed to distract himself from the writhing vision of Ben increasingly blissed out beneath him, 

Callum had until recently been basking in the tangible sensation of Ben mouthing at his own Adam’s Apple, so decided to focus on returning the favour, plunging his lips to Ben’s neck as he continued to work a consistent rhythm deep into his lover. 

“Callum…ff…uck…” Ben’s eyes, which had flickered shut as he absorbed the waves of pleasure surging through his body, flung back open in lustful surprise. As if there were any doubt as to how the older man was working him over, both felt Ben’s cock spring sharply to attention between them.

“Y’alright down there?” Callum teased through hot breath against Ben’s neck.  
“Never…better…” Ben managed to stutter out breathlessly, just before a shuddering pulse shot through his body, the precursor to imminent orgasm, he knew. “Cal, I’m gonna…” He didn’t manage to get all the words out before shooting his load between their stomachs.  
Callum continued to energetically thrust Ben through his high, thrilling at the sensation of his man’s contracting, tightening muscles reverberating back through his own cock. 

As ripples of pleasure ripped through Ben’s being, he applied wet, uninhibited kisses to Callum’s jawline. “And you…” He wrapped his other leg around his man’s waist, further tightening the pressure enveloping Callum, bringing the elder man to his own climax moments later, accompanied by the fanfare of him calling out Ben’s name: once, twice, three times.

“Wow…” Callum slumped down onto Ben, utterly spent, with face buried into his collarbone.  
“Babe, that’s my choice word of exclamation,” Ben protested through equally jagged breaths. “Get your own…” He idly stroked a hand through Callum’s sweat-filled hair & placed sporadic kisses to his face. _Wow indeed_, Ben marvelled to himself, shuddering to think he might have just met his physical match.


	32. Chapter 32

## Unseen scene 26/10/19

Callum woke lying on his back, allowing his eyes to drift lazily open & focus on the ceiling for a few moments. 

A heady mix of smells lingered around him: the fusion of two fading aftershaves; the musty reminder of their previous night's antics, long dried sweat & secretions on their bodies & bedsheets. 

His body felt both heavy, still laden with sleep, & light, a newfound sense of freedom enveloping him.

Blinking repeatedly for a few seconds, he inhaled a long breath, then slowly turned his head to look over at the man to his right.

"Mornin'," Ben greeted him huskily.  
"Mornin," Callum returned softly.  
"Y'alright?" Ben bit down on his lower lip, trying to curb any uncertainty.

A bewitching grin spread across Callum's face. "So much better than alright...You ok?"  
"Peachy," Ben chuckled warmly.

They remained in stasis for a while: Callum on his back with head turned to face Ben; Ben on his side looking at Callum. Soft eye contact maintained; easy smiles exchanged.

A question was forming in Callum's mind, so he lapped his tongue along his lower lip to quench it. "Can you even see me right now without your contacts in, or am I just a blur?"

Ben couldn't help expel a breath of amusement; wasn't that just typical Callum Highway? Most men waking up after their first full experience of gay sex would be seeking an ego boost or reassurance maybe; not Callum Highway though, he was going straight in with his most pressing concern of the moment.

"Can't see ya in sharp detail, but can make out your features in the haze," Ben clarified. "Wait, hang on a minute; this ain't a ploy from you to get me in my glasses is it?" He'd already noted Callum seemed to have a fascination with him when he wore his glasses.

"Can't blame a guy for tryin'," Callum chuckled readily. "Happen to think ya look incredibly sexy in them..."  
Ben bit down on his lip again. "Callum Highway, did ya just call me sexy?"

Callum chuckled again, turning his head back to look at the ceiling, knowing he'd given himself away. "Might of done..." He attempted the most casual response he could muster.

Ben nudged a little closer. "You've never said anythin' like that to me before. One hot night together & suddenly you're unleashin' that on me..."  
"It's no word of a lie," Callum smiled. "Been thinkin' it for ages; now just feels like the right time to say it". He ran a casual hand through his ruffled bed head.

Ben shuffled fully across to Callum, depositing a single kiss to the man's pectoral. "Meant every word I said last night about courage. You to me are courageous..."  
"I ain't courageous," Callum protested quietly, letting his already raised hand seek out Ben's hair, his fingers starting to work rhythmically through it. He felt Ben lean into his touch, resting cheekbone to chest. Callum briefly altering his arm's position to collect Ben in closer to him, before returning his fingers to their occupation of fiddling with his hair.

"Takes courage to serve in the Army; takes courage to deal with grieving relatives at the funeral parlour..." Ben mumbled into Callum's chest with hot breath.

Both men could feel themselves melting into the intimate sensation of fingers to scalp.

"Takes courage to admit who you really are, then to come out to the rest of the world..." Ben continued his persuasive monologue.  
"Did it with the unfaltering support of someone special, didn't I?" Callum briefly turned his head to place a kiss to Ben's forehead, his fingers still toying at his hair.

"Takes courage to put yourself in the line of fire when some messed up kid runs riot with a gun in the pub & ends up shootin' the local black sheep..." Ben asserted again, both men noticing the movement of Callum's fingers falter briefly at that memory.

"He weren't ever a black sheep to me though was he?" Callum came back to his senses, depositing a further kiss to Ben's head & resurrecting the caress of fingers to hair. "He got me & I got him..."

It was Ben's turn to deliver a delicate kiss at that assertion, placing it tenderly to Callum's collarbone; the elder man responding by holding him in ever closer.

"Ya wanna know what I think courageous is?" Callum prompted unassumingly.  
"Go on then," Ben acquiesced softly.  
"I think courageous is you lettin' yourself lie like this here with me now..."  
Ben lifted his gaze to look at his lover quizzically, but said nothing.

"I ain't ever forgotten what you said at my flat warming, about not lettin' yourself be close to anyone after Paul..." Callum knew bringing it up was a risk, but wanted to acknowledge what was another milestone in their relationship.

"First time since Paul I've met someone I wanted to be this close to..." Ben reasoned with a candour that took the breath from both of them.

They lay quiet for a while, completely still, other than Callum's fingers still tussling through Ben's hair. Eventually, the younger man spoke again. "Ya know when someone's in hospital..."

It was an unexpected resurrection of their conversation, but Callum went with it. "Yeah, when they're like sick or injured..."  
"Alright Captain Obvious," Ben flicked a finger of consternation to Callum's chest, but then left it there to trace indistinct patterns along his skin. "I mean when someone's in hospital & in a coma or whatnot..."

"What about it?" Callum questioned uncertainly. Ben still had this unnerving knack of completely blindsiding him.  
"They say that when a person's comin' round from the sedation, the different senses return one by one..."

"Oh, what you mean like when they say you should talk to someone under sedation, cos they can probably hear ya?" Callum was starting to follow, he thought.

"It weren't that way for me..." Ben confided decisively.  
"For you?" Callum hesitated, his sense of uncertainty returning.  
"When I started to come round from the sedation after I'd been shot," Ben clarified. "It weren't my hearing that came back first; it was my sense of touch".

"Got ya," Callum smiled fondly. "Bet it was the feelin' of ya Mum holdin' your hand weren't it, ya big softie..."

Ben shook his head in rejection of that suggestion. "The first thing I can remember feelin' as I started wakin' up was the sensation of your fingers in my hair..."

Ben fell silent, letting his words sink in. Callum's fingers didn't ever stall in their occupation, even as he let the gravity of his man's words wash through him .

"Yeah?" Callum eventually whispered, choking down a surge of emotion.  
"Yeah," Ben concurred in similarly hushed tones. "It was the last thing I can remember feelin' before I passed out, & the first sensation I felt when I came to. As if the ghost of your hands was still right there..."

Callum let out a small cough. "I kept wakin' up in the nights immediately after you were shot, my fingertips tinglin', convinced I'd been there in the pub cradlin' ya & runnin' my fingers through ya hair all over again..."

Ben looked up, concerned at what he was hearing. "You had nightmares about it?" He ran a finger along the stubble on Callum's jaw. Callum dipped a kiss to Ben's fingertip. "Not nightmares about there bein' a gunman; more about the person he'd shot..."  
"Guess I am most people's idea of a nightmare to be fair..." Ben conceded wryly, pursing his lips in invitation.  
"Not to me ya ain't," Callum confided, pressing his lips to Ben's. "Definitely not to me..."


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The readership may have noticed the recent flurry of chapters posted to this fic...
> 
> The reason in part is because I'm eager to catch up with actual canon - to some extent at least - having started some 2 months behind actual screen time this has been quite an epic writing challenge! Equally though I knew I had some work commitments now approaching that may impact on my productivity. I do have a small bank of chapters ready to go & will post whenever I can over the next 10 days, but after tomorrow this my be more intermittent than I like.
> 
> Thanks to all who are supporting this fic - it's been so lovely to receive such positive feedback. I enjoy writing for each & every one of you as much as I enjoy writing for myself, so here's the next instalment of Ballum's morning after the night before...Enjoy...

## Unseen scene 26/10/19

"Would ya look at the actual state of us?" Callum grimaced as he glanced down the narrow space between his own chest & Ben’s. Their kiss, which had started on a small scale – tender pecks to lips delivered intermittently between their continuing idle morning chat in bed – had eventually developed into something more sustained & loaded with greater intent. Where they had originally nestled in together lay side by side, Ben was now straddling Callum’s lap.

Ben followed Callum’s gaze, noticing for the first time just how splattered their torsos were with dried up bodily secretions from the night before. “Mmm,” he trailed a finger along his man’s chest. “Probably should’a got us cleaned up after round one last night, let alone after round two…” The territorial, possessive maybe, side of him privately admitted though that he liked that they were stained by each other. 

"Couldn't of even moved after round two, I was so exhausted,” Callum chuckled. "Still ain't sure I'll manage it now…"  
Ben’s lips formed into a well-practiced pout, as he teased more fingers to Callum’s torso. “Does that mean no round three for Ben now then?” He fluttered his best puppy dog eyes.  
“If Ben is expecting the same amount of energy & enthusiasm as he demanded last night, it’s a definite no…” Callum smiled, pressing an apologetic kiss to his lover’s lips. 

Ben rocked back on his haunches & studied the elder man’s features intently for a moment, a passing spark of disquiet in his eyes. “You’re ok though, with last night, I mean?”  
“Absolutely no regrets,” Callum reassured softly. “Wouldn’t change a single thing…” As a means of reinforcing his message, he leant forward to gently re-engage their lips.

Ben ceded to the clinch for a moment, before raising a forefinger to tenderly part Callum’s lips from his own. “It’s just I’m meant to be breakin’ ya in, not breakin’ ya…”  
“I ain’t broken,” Callum giggled. “Just a bit shagged out for the short term!”  
Ben gave due consideration to the message he was receiving, searching for any contradiction in his man’s expression, but saw none. So he sprung into decisive action. “Ok, you’re with me…” He grasped Callum’s hand firmly in his & started to pull him from the bed.

“What are ya doin’?” Callum attempted to protest, although secretly adored this hectic characteristic of his younger lover.   
“Step this way…” Ben wasn’t accepting no for an answer, as he led them, both stark-bollock naked, across the landing.   
“If Phil could see us now!” Callum chortled, admiringly taking in the sight before him.  
“We should definitely make that happen some time,” Ben asserted. “Give him somethin’ to proper blow a fuse over…”

They emerged into the bathroom, where Ben put the plug in the bath & set the taps running, one hand remaining clasped to Callum’s all the while.   
“Ya runnin’ me a bath?” the taller man queried.  
“Catch on quick don’t ya?” Ben grinned, then promptly turned his back to the other man. “So, d’ya want Opulent Orchid or Jasmine?”  
“Ya what?”   
“Bubble baths Cal,” Ben clarified, releasing their hands & turning back around, displaying a bottle in either hand. “D’ya want Opulent Orchid or Jasmine?”  
“Er,” Callum stuttered. “Ain’t really my area of expertise, why don’t ya choose for me?”

Ben nodded his acceptance of the suggestion & took a moment to peruse the labels on the bottles, which he could only assume were Sharon’s. “Jasmine,” he suddenly announced. “We’re goin’ with the Jasmine…” He unscrewed the bottle lid & poured liberal amounts of the liquid into the water flowing from the taps. “Label reckons Jasmine’s got aphrodisiac qualities…” he winked at Callum with more than a hint of suggestion. 

“And what you gonna be doin’ while I have this Jasmine bath?” Callum questioned dubiously.  
“Babe,” Ben smiled tantalisingly. “I’m comin’ in with ya…”  
Callum’s mouth opened wide at the revelation, but he finally found the ability to speak again. “Well bagsy I don’t have the tap end…”  
“Neither of us are havin’ the tap end babe…” Ben clarified, entertained by his man’s total innocence. 

A momentary confusion swept across Callum’s features, before he stumbled across Ben’s meaning. “Ohhhh…”  
“Any preference on which you take first: the front or back seat?” Ben chose to pretend he hadn’t noticed Callum’s naivety.   
“Er,” Callum was suddenly growing restless at all the decision-making being placed in his court. “That don’t have some sort of secret innuendo attached to it I’m gonna regret does it?”  
Ben held out his palms in defence. “I am simply askin’ if ya want me to wash you first, or if ya want to wash me first…”

They both noticed Callum swallow down a large lump in his throat. “Um…”


	34. Chapter 34

## Unseen scene 26/10/19

"Now I'm suspicious..." Callum mused out loud, as he jiggled his foot & watched the bathwater lap around them.  
"Hmm?" Ben replied distractedly as he lathered a sponge along Callum's back.  
"We've been in this bath for ten minutes now, & there ain't been so much as a single innuendo or attempt at trying it on with anythin' sexual from you..."  
"Not everythin' has to be about sex Callum..." Ben smiled contentedly to himself.

Callum ran his fingers against Ben's right leg, which was wrapped lightly over his own, picking gently at some of the hairs on it. "Proper surprise package ain't ya Ben Mitchell?"  
"Multi-layered personality me. Like to keep people guessin'," Ben chuckled, caressing a hand to his man's shoulder. "Lean back babe..." 

Callum did as was asked of him, settling the back of his head to the other man's collarbone, & letting his eye shut. "How many layers ya got?"  
"So, so many..." Ben responded at a hush, his hands occupied now with lathering up Callum's chest, & easing away the residue of the night before. 

As he tenderly washed away the remnants of himself from the other man's skin, the thought occurred to Ben that he'd happily see a semblance of himself inked to this man for posterity; there to see for anyone that cared enough to look. He shook his head in defiance of that thought, catching himself just in time.

Continuing to idle the sponge about Callum's torso, Ben opted to distract himself from any such further thoughts. "Why d'ya find it so hard to believe how beautiful ya are?" From Ben's position right now, Callum looked truly divine: resting there between his legs: messily perfect bed hair; lightly toned chest, slow in its rise & fall; delicate trail of hair leading down from his belly button to a currently dormant treasure hidden by the bath's bubbles.

Callum's eyes drifted back open. "This the start of it then: the foreplay? Knew ya resolve wouldn't last..."  
"I have more resolve than you could possibly imagine," Ben assured his partner calmly.  
"Oh yeah?" Callum sounded unconvinced.

"When ya turned up at this back door, what about a month ago now, & tried your hardest to snog my face off, that took me some serious resolve to back away..." Ben rinsed off the sponge in the water, then reapplied it to Callum's skin, ensuring the transference of many bubbles in the process.

“I was tryin’ to prove a point,” Callum countered, attempting not to focus too hard on the alluring sensation of Ben’s gentle hands. “Ya spent all that time tellin’ me to drop the act, then when I did it, ya turned me down…” There was no heat behind his words, just the grateful realisation that the younger man had probably done the best thing for both of them that night. 

“Turned ya down reluctantly,” Ben reminded softly. “Didn’t wanna take advantage…” He smoothly lifted one of the taller man’s arms to swab the sponge along his side.  
“Proper knight in shinin’ armour ain’t ya?” Callum chuckled, grateful for a conversation that would distract his mind from the sensuality of Ben’s touch. Against all the odds, there really was no sexual intent behind it, but that didn’t stop it rousing certain things in Callum. “Go on then, I still need more proof you do actually have resolve…”

Ben expelled a casual sniff. “Ain’t lamped one on Uncle Fester, have I? Now that really does take some seriously dogged determination…”  
Callum gave a subtle shake of his head. “Really don’t wanna think about my brother while I’m in the bath with you, ta…”  
“Ya mean my esteemed future in law?” Ben volunteered absent-mindedly, while he held up the other man’s right hand to inspect his fingernails. 

Callum spluttered out a cough of surprise. There it was again, that total ability to flummox him in one short sentence.  
“Relax babe,” Ben recognised his sudden discomfort. “I’m just playin’…Reckon we’re both over marriage proposals for the year, don’t you?”

Callum sighed. “Ya ain’t ever gonna let me forget that one are ya?”  
“Well,” Ben began to muse, running a nail to one of his man’s cuticles to pick away a speck of dirt. “Guess I should be flattered really, that ya had to go to such extremes to try & avoid me…”  
“Fool to meself sometimes,” Callum proffered quietly.  
“Worth the wait I reckon,” Ben countered, softness evident in his tone, as he snuck a kiss to the crown of the other man’s hair. 

“Felt that…” Callum intercepted with a knowing smile. “Knew that resolve of yours would fail again at some point…”  
“It ain’t failn’, just flickerin’,” Ben huffed. “This ain’t sexy bath time anyway…”  
“Sexy bath time?” Callum’s eyebrows raised inquisitively. “Dare I even ask?”  
“Keepin’ that one up my sleeve for a rainy day,” Ben chuckled, pressing a further kiss to his lover's hair. “Babe, ya really are one of life’s true innocents, ain’t ya?”


	35. Chapter 35

## Unseen scene 26/10/19

“Ya still ain’t answered my question…” Ben interrupted the silent reverie that had developed between them as they continued to laze in the bath, his efforts at washing the other man having now ended, in favour of quietly dabbing bubbles against his skin.  
“Hmmm?” Callum checked in drowsily.  
“Ya ain’t told me why you won’t let yourself believe it when I tell ya you’re gorgeous…”

“Don’t come so easy to some of us as it does to ya,” Callum shrugged. “Just cos ya think you’re somethin’ special, don’t mean everyone else thinks the same way about themselves…”  
“I don’t think I’m somethin’ special, I know I am…” Ben whispered through hot breath against Callum’s ear. “Just like I know you’re gorgeous…beautiful…adorable…D’ya need me to go on?”  
"You'll go on regardless of whether I want ya to or not..." The elder man voiced that they both knew to be true. 

"Just want ya to be comfortable in your own skin babe," Ben explained softly.  
"I'm gettin a bit closer to bein' that every day. Just the whole learnin' to love myself thing might take a bit longer than it obviously took you..." Callum exhaled a pensive sigh.

"Fit as…hot…sexy..." Ben continued his list, drawing his enunciation of each word out a little longer, fingers creeping against his man's chest.  
"Sorry," Callum laughed. "We still talkin' 'bout me, or 'av we moved onto you now?"  
"Both of us, obviously..."  
"Obviously..." Callum repeated with a roll of his eyes.

"Now..." Ben suddenly spoke with a tone loaded with intent, index finger tapping at Callum's sternum. "Now, are ya plannin' on gettin' me cleaned up any time soon, or do I have to wait until the water goes cold & all my bits shrivel up?"

"Ha," Callum expelled a snort of amusement. "Definitely can't be havin' that can we?" He began to slide his weight forward. "Switch places?"  
"You bet..." Ben agreed. "Fire the hot tap up again will ya, just to safeguard my assets..."

As Callum both began to rise from the bath, pausing midway to fiddle with the taps, Ben couldn't resist giving the man’s backside a firm pinch. "Mmmm, peachy..."

"Ben!" Callum shrieked in surprise, nearly doubling back over in shock, causing an almost tidal surge of water in the process.  
"Yeah," Ben grinned, "probably best ya try not to flood the joint; wouldn't exactly endear ya to Phil, would it!" He too rose from the water as he spoke.

"You are such a bleedin' wind up merchant Ben Mitchell!" Callum chastised, half-hearted at best.  
"Wouldn't have me any other way though, would ya?" Ben smirked, chasing the other man’s lips for a kiss.  
“Er, thought this weren’t sexy bath time?” Callum backed away from their kiss, smiling broadly.  
“It isn’t,” Ben affirmed with a knowing grin, as he guided their bodies to turn 180 degrees. “Just bein’ friendly…Now get yourself back in that bathwater will ya; it’s my turn to be pampered…”  
Callum followed the instruction & settled himself back down in the bath; back to its tub, with legs spread-eagled to leave room for Ben to settle into; exact roles reversed from how they had previously been.

Ben hummed as he nestled into the space, his own back resting tight to Callum’s chest, head leant back at his shoulder. “Mmm, feels like someone else is gettin’ a bit friendly down there…” He arched his lower back to Callum’s groin to press his point home.  
“Ben,” Callum warned gruffly. “Ya were just standin’ full frontal to me, in the nuddy, kissin’ me; did ya really expect anythin’ different?”  
“I’d be offended if it were any different,” Ben appeased, seeking out one of Callum’s hands in his own. “And just so ya know, there’s a friend of my own stirring just down here as well…” He guided their joined hands to beneath his own waist, below the water, where his own arousal was similarly starting to rouse. "Now get thinkin' yourself some unsexy thoughts will ya? And don't forget to scrub my back..."


	36. Chapter 36

## Unseen scene 26/10/19

"Mo Slater..."  
"Ian Beale..."  
"Er I got in trouble for bringing Uncle Fester into bathtime earlier..." Ben cautioned, albeit with a smile. "But now suddenly it's ok for ya to bring my brother into it..."  
"Ya should be pleased I in no way find ya brother attractive..." Callum countered, rinsing through the sponge in his hand.

"Let's be fair," Ben sunk his head deeper against Callum's chest, tilting it back a little further. "Ian & I ain't even playin' in the same league. I'm like Premier League, he's somewhere down in the county divisions..."

Callum quietly chortled at the assertion but offered no comment as he bathed Ben's torso.

"So the notion of Mo Slater & Ian Beale gettin' it on; how's that workin' for ya?" Ben opened his eyes to look up at Callum with an easy smile.  
"Completely dead from the waist down, so it's worked a treat," Callum confirmed, returning the smile through his eyes. "You?"  
"Definitely no stirrings from me" Ben concurred with a sniff.

They'd had to resort to desperate measures in the end to quell their mutual rising thirst for sexual contact while they bathed. "This is about R&R babe," Ben had sagely accentuated. "Not round three; that can come later..."

"Ya missed a bit..." Ben pointed to a dried patch of bodily secretion on his ribcage, then allowed his eyes to lazily close again.  
"I'm bein' thorough & meticulous..." Callum advised gruffly. "Ain't got to that bit yet..."

Ben allowed himself to drift away with the sensation of Callum' washing him down, while the elder man focused on diligence, trying not to let his mind race away with just how tantalising he was finding this whole scenario to be.

"So glad those big, multi-talented hands of yours have made their way into my life..." Ben expressed a comfortable sigh. "Could happily submit to this all day..."  
"Who knew you'd be this easily pleased..." Callum smiled, trailing the sponge upwards against Ben's chest.

"Don't know where I get this reputation of bein' so demanding from," Ben protested with a smirk, then opened his eyes as he sensed Callum's hands suddenly falter.

"Am I even alright to wash over your scar?" Callum's eyes fixed themselves to the still prominent bullet imprint on his man's chest.  
"All good babe," Ben assured him gently.. "Thanks for checkin' though "

Callum's hand still failed to move, even after that confirmation, they both noticed.  
"Ya don't have to; I know it still freaks ya out," Ben attentively offered his man a get out  
"I wanna," Callum asserted. "I need to.. just don't wanna hurt ya..."

"Soft," Ben smiled warmly, before reaching to combine Callum's hand holding the sponge with his, then guiding it down to the afflicted area of his chest. As Callum began to bathe the scar, Ben planted a series of reassuring kisses to his bicep.

Callum spent several long, slow minutes attending the area, taking absolute care with each stroke of the sponge. As he continued, he let his head drop to rest against Ben's hair, breathing in the comforting scent that was the man. As he did, a thought settled in his mind. "D'ya want me to wash ya hair?" he queried, hot breath fluttering against Ben's scalp.

Ben stalled momentarily, allowing himself to fully absorb the query, privately acknowledging the wave it caused through his stomach. "I'd love ya to," he then affirmed quietly. It wasn't lost on either of them that he'd opted against the obvious sarcastic response about Callum having a kink about his hair.

The elder man looked about them, finding both shampoo & a plastic jug within easy reach. He passed the latter to Ben, with the simple instruction: "Fill that up with water from the hot tap, will ya..."

Ben did as he was asked, then settled back against Callum, finding himself to yet again be silently marvelling at the subtle tones of affection this man had brought with him into his life: a discreet brush of fingertips here; a lingering glance there. And now the offer to wash his hair: Ben struggled to think of a time that anyone had been so attentive & affectionate to him in his life. Or perhaps even more pertinently, of a time that he'd had the will & the grace to cede to it so readily.

"Tilt ya head back a bit," Callum requested, with a ruffle of his fingers through Ben's hair to tease it up from his scalp. Wanting to test the temperature of the water, he poured a little on Ben's head then paused. "That alright for ya?"  
"Perfect," Ben affirmed as his eyes drifted shut.

Pouring down adequate water to dampen Ben's hair, Callum squeezed a generous amount of shampoo onto his hand, then applied it evenly about his man's hair. He then let his fingers steadily work the shampoo into a lather.

Ben exhaled a steadying breath, relaxing into the sensation of Callum's fingers massaging around his scalp. This man, for all his self-professed inexperience, had a lightness of touch that set Ben alight every time. "You've missed your callin' in life babe; skills like this are wasted on the dead..."  
"If ya say so..." Callum accepted dubiously

"Not that I want everyone knowin' about these skills of yours; rather keep them all to myself for personal use..." Ben hummed.  
"As ya see fit..." Callum concurred agreeably. "Ready for me to rinse?"  
"If ya must..." Ben accepted, albeit reluctantly.

Taking care to shield any water from trickling down Ben's forehead, Callum poured a steady flow of water, using the palm of one hand to smooth the residue of shampoo away from the man's hair. "Squeaky clean," Callum smiled, pleased with his work.

"So..." Ben began quietly, then surged from his reverie into action, twisting his body in the water to turn & face Callum, kneeling between his thighs. "...Plans for the weekend?"  
"Nothing of note, yet," Callum shrugged with a grin.

"You wanna stay here? Just you, me, & a big old empty house..." Ben dragged a finger lazily down Callum's chestbone. "Doin' what we want, where we want..."  
"Reckon I could be persuaded..." Callum bit down the smirk on his lips.

"Yeah?" Ben shuffled closer so his lips hovered close to those of the other man.  
"Yeah," Callum affirmed, breath hot against Ben's mouth. "Might just need to pop back to mine for a change of clothes from those currently strewn across your bedroom floor, but other than that I'm all yours..."

"Babe..." Ben teased a kiss to his man's lips, then unleashed a devilish smile. "You ain't gonna be needin' any clothes; we'll be wearin' each other all weekend long..."


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, last night's episode was a bit of a turn up for the books wasn't it? You can safely anticipate the unseen bits of THAT car lot scene to feature here in due course - already started writing it up in fact ;-)
> 
> For the meantime here though, the lads are still in the afterglow of their previous night...

  


## Unseen scene 26/10/19

"I'll just throw a few clothes & bits in a bag; it'll take me all of three minutes, promise..." Callum ran a hand against Ben's as they emerged into the living area of his flat.  
"No rush," Ben assured with a soft smile. "We've got ourselves all weekend..." He quirked an eyebrow, letting his gaze descend appreciatively down the form of his man's fully-clothed body.

Callum's features flushed at the very thought, although the glint in his eyes gave away his true feelings on the matter. He discarded his keys casually to the side. "Make yourself at home..."

Despite Ben's mischievous assertion that neither of them would have any need for clothing over the course of this weekend, he'd relented & agreed they would nip back to both of their homes to collect a few things. He'd been largely persuaded though by the promise of the fried breakfast Callum had just bought them in the Caff. Both of them having worked up an appetite in the night that had just been.

Callum made giant strides in the direction of his bedroom, pausing in the doorframe to look back at Ben, who had wandered off towards the sofa, & was standing with his back turned to the other man, apparently taking in a picture hanging on the wall. He'd already divested himself of his grey-checked coat & placed it on the arm of the sofa, just as carefully as he always did.

Callum was powerless but to stop & stare at the sight before him. Ben in a pair of seeringly tight trousers that left little to the imagination, topped off by a long-sleeved shirt that hugged & accentuated the muscles of his back perfectly. They may or may not have been the same clothes Ben had been wearing the night before, Callum couldn't honestly say either way, his only interest at the time having been to strip them from him as swiftly as possible.

"What ya doin'?" Unbeknowns to Callum, Ben had become acutely aware that he was being ogled. He'd cocked his head to the side to voice his enquiry, but his back remained turned.  
"Just admirin' the view..." Callum grinned in response.  
"Mmmm, anythin' in particular caught your eye?" Ben queried, casting his man a seductive smile from across his shoulder.  
"Maybe..." Callum attempted nonchalance as he bit down hard on his lip & his eyes drifted south towards Ben's backside.

"Ah," Ben chuckled agreeably. "Got a bit of a thing for bums have we?"  
"Just yours," Callum clarified in a tone so neutral you'd think he was delivering the day's football scores. "Only really came fully to my attention last night..."

"So my bum's your new happy place is it?" Ben turned to face him with a suggestive smirk, recalling a phrase Callum had used to him in the past.  
"Amongst others," Callum shrugged, a smile playing at his lips. "That gonna be a problem for ya?"

"No problem for me at all," Ben affirmed, an obvious twinkle in his eyes. "My only problem is that every minute you stand there now undressing me with your eyes is one less minute we could actually be undressed & back in your happy place, so get a wriggle on, will ya?"

Callum chortled quietly at that assertion & retreated into his bedroom to gather up what belongings he needed. Ben smiled easily to himself at his man's newly-developing self confidence: Callum already seemed to stand a bit taller, his shoulders a little less slumped, his head held that bit higher.

Ben sunk his hands into his trouser pockets & began to reflect that if Callum could achieve such progress, perhaps he could too. Albeit in an entirely different way.

Drawing in a long, settling breath, Ben took quiet, determined steps across the living space to follow Callum into his bedroom. He took the briefest of glances about him, then sat at the foot of the bed. "How d'ya even get those lanky limbs of yours comfortable in this bed anyway?" He absently trailed a palm along the duvet.

Callum nearly jumped out of his skin, having not even noticed Ben enter the room. From his position squatting down to take something from a low drawer he sprang back upwards so quickly that he banged his head on the piece of furniture. "Ouch," he lamented then turned to look at the other man. "Jesus Ben, don't creep up on me like that, you nearly gave me a heart attack".

Ben offered a placating smile. "Want me to kiss that better?" He patted the edge of the bed in suggestion that Callum join him seated there, which the taller man did unquestioningly.

"What are ya like, hey?" Ben pressed a soothing kiss to his man's forehead, where a red mark was already evident from the blow he'd sustained. "Clumsy your middle name or what?" Ben raised a thumb to tenderly stroke it along the affliction. "Anyone'd think you'd seen a ghost, the speed you shot back up at!" His tone was light & caring as his eyes & fingers studied the blemish.

"Just really hadn't expected to see ya in here," Callum shrugged. "Speakin' of ghosts n that..." It was an honest appraisal of his own perception of Ben's history with this particular room. The question of them sleeping together in it had arisen, albeit unspoken, the previous night, with Ben's answer coming through loud & clear, leading Callum to assume it out of bounds in their relationship. It hadn't been an issue he'd planned to push this early on.

Ben's hand paused mid air, then sunk down to his lap; a twitch of hesitance played at the corner of his lips until he bit it down. "I won't let ghosts of my past interrupt our present..." he uttered at a whisper.

Callum was fleetingly tempted to reach out & take his man's hand in his own, but dared himself not to, sensing there was more Ben needed, wanted, to say. So he stayed quiet, motionless.

"Last night was..." Ben moved his hand to Callum's thigh, thumb picking at the seam of the man's jeans while he concentrated on summoning up the right words. "Last night was seminal for both of us in different ways I think..." he offered quietly, eyes rooted to his hand.

"...It would of been way too cliched though: my first time in here, then your first time in here. I didn't want that sort of mind fuck parallel for us..."

"I get it..." Callum assured softly, allowing his hand to now seek out that of Ben & encase it there on his thigh. "And I appreciate it..."

Ben's gaze lifted to meet Callum's at that assertion. "It don't mean I don't want us to be together in this room though..."  
"Yeah?" Callum smiled warmly.  
"Yeah," Ben reciprocated with equal warmth.

"Ya want me to show ya just how well I can get my lanky limbs in the confines of this bed then?" Callum teased with a knowing chuckle.  
Ben hummed in agreement. "Solely in the best interests of your physiology you understand..." He crept a palm to Callum's shirt & began to lift his own body weight up from the mattress towards his lover.  
"Of course..." Callum grinned, narrowing the gap between them to seek out a kiss that instantly become passionate...

"Callum? Bruv is that you?" The most unwelcome interruption that was Stuart burst their bubble of intimacy barely seconds later.

Ben exhaled a deep groan of dissatisfaction as their clinch faltered . "Your brother has himself impeccable timing don't he?" He let his head drop to Callum's collarbone, depositing a soft kiss against his clothing..  
"Sorry," was all the apology Callum had time to muster, returning the kiss to Ben's hairline, before reestablishing some space between them.

"Bruv? I said is that you?" Stuart again entreated, now pushing through the bedroom door uninvited. "Do you know anythin' about this lamp out here?" The elder Highway's step visibly faltered at the realisation Callum had company.. "Oh, um, hadn't realised you were...entertainin'..." Stuart winced, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

"We ain't stoppin'" Callum seized on his brother's dismay. "Just grabbin' a few bits then headin' to Ben's..."  
Ben smirked down an innuendo as to precisely which bits Callum might have been mid grabbing had Stuart walked in just a few moments later.

"That's right, ain't it Ben?" Callum continued his nervous chatter, suddenly akin to a teenager who'd been caught making out with another teenager by his parents. "We'll be out of here in five..."  
"Apparently so babe," Ben swallowed down his bemusement that self-assured Callum, who had been so effortlessly relaxed just seconds earlier, had now retreated into his shell under the negative influence of his brother.

"Right, well, good..." Stuart contributed awkwardly, backing himself to the wall close to the door. "I was just, er, askin' if you knew anythin' about that lamp out there. Came in last night to find it broken..."

Callum looked momentarily bemused, his head lagging behind the urge he was still trying to quell in his body.  
Ben though had spotted the chance for some mirth. "Any ideas babe, what might of happened to that lamp?" He directed the enquiry fully to Callum, accompanied by the suggestive raise of an eyebrow & bite of his lower lip.

Callum finally got back with the programme at the memory of Ben crashing into the lamp in the frenzy of trying to strip the clothing from his body the night before. "Dunno bruv; must of been a freak gust of wind or somethin'..."  
Stuart looked unconvinced at the suggestion, while Ben was furiously chewing down another smirk.  
"Ok, well I'll just see if I can get it fixed..." Stuart began to back cautiously out of the room, his eyes trying to look anywhere but at the two men on the bed. "Might catch you later..."

"A freak gust of wind?" Ben nearly choked on his amusement once Stuart was out of earshot.  
"Had to come up with somethin', didn't I?" Callum shrugged.  
"Dunno why ya didn't just tell him ya backed me into it in your hellbent haste to shag me..." Ben sniffed in deadpan amusement.

"Ssshhh will ya," Callum grimaced, "he'll only be the other side of that door ya know..."  
"That's what I'm bankin' on babe," Ben smiled wickedly. "Now if memory serves, I was just on a promise here, but I'm guessin' that moment's passed now Uncle Fester's in situ, so hurry up & get that stuff together will ya, so we can take this back to mine..."

Ben watched on in fond amusement as Callum took the hint & began to scurry about locating what clothing he thought he needed.

While his man was occupied, & himself not yet quite satisfied that his wind up of Stuart was complete, Ben moved to perch at the central edge of the bed. With a glance over his shoulder to confirm that his move had gone unnoticed by Callum, he began to bounce against the mattress with considerable force. "Nah babe, I reckon these bed springs will be up to for our energetic sex sessions; they'll probably stop sqeuakin' so much once we've broken 'em in..." He spoke deliberately loudly, wanting to ensure his words were heard. 

Callum by now had spun on his heels to look on in mortified horror, his expression only relenting into disapproval when he realised Ben was being mischievous.  
"This headboard though," Ben inhaled air sharply through his teeth, causing a rasping whistle. "That & the wall are gonna take a right pounding..."

Satisfied with his efforts, Ben stood back up & strolled over to stand in front of Callum "Come on lover boy, let's go find ourselves a bit of privacy shall we?" He pecked a teasing kiss to the man's mouth.  
"You're a dick, ya know that?" Callum whispered to him, in part disapproval, part wonderment.  
"Ya might not be the first to express that opinion," Ben chuckled, then moved to venture from the room 

Callum could only cringe as he listened to Ben's exchange outside the room with Stuart.

"Alright there Stu? Hadn't realised ya were still in the vicinity...Hope I ain't offended your sensibilities; it's just that brother of yours is quite the animal between the sheets...on the sofa...against the wall..." Ben accentuated all the right words in all the right places, training his gaze upon different areas of the flat as he listed them. "Between you & me, I'm amazed it was only the lamp that took a hit..."


	38. Chapter 38

## Unseen scene 28/10/19

"What, do ya think you're doin?" Ben placed additional emphasis on the final consonant of his first word as he set down the tray he'd just been carrying.  
"Gettin' dressed; what does it look like I'm doin'?" Callum returned in bemusement.

"So the thing I just said, what 20 minutes or so ago now, about you stayin' in bed while I head out on a quick business errand..." Ben questioned as he sauntered his way over to his man.  
"Don't wanna be in bed if ya ain't there with me..." Callum countered simply with a shrug.

Ben slipped his arms around Callum's waist, either hand joining at his back, pulling the taller man into him. "But I'll only be an hour, tops..." A pout played on his lips. "...And I've just brought ya breakfast in bed..."

Callum glanced across at the now discarded tray containing coffee & toast. "Ah, thought I smelt burnin'..." he grimaced back at Ben.  
"What so I give ya the weekend of your life, & now ya insult my culinary skills?" Ben played along with looking hurt.

Callum smiled at him fondly, silently acknowledging he was right: this had been the best weekend of his life. When they'd got back to the Mitchell household on Saturday morning, following their brief excursion across the Square, they'd shut the door on the outside world, only opening it to take delivery of takeaway meals.

Callum had offered to cook, of course he had - his much fabled chicken pasta no less - but Ben had refused him, citing that every minute Callum was cooking would be a minute they weren't cocooned up in one another. It had been a persuasive point that was well made, Callum had to admit.

They'd spent their weekend crowded exclusively in each other's space: huddled close on the sofa, a tangle of limbs as they watched tv & films; having sex as the mood took them - sometimes whimsical, sometimes with much deeper intent. Callum already feeling he'd been treated to the entire Volume 1 of _Ben Mitchell's Guide to Fulfilling Sex._ Even with the variety of positions they'd tried; with Callum's experimentation - at Ben's unfaltering encouragement- - of both giving & receiving; with Ben's lavishing of care & attention on his man, Callum suspected there were still several more volumes to come.

"Only teasin' ya," Callum briefly tapped a finger to Ben's nose. "Happen to like lightly cremated toast meself..."  
"Hmmm," Ben smirked. "Hardly surprisin' I guess, given that job of yours. Now..." he paused for effect, sliding his hands up & down his man's forearms. "Ya sure there's nothin' I can do to tempt ya back into bed?"

"Oh," Callum smiled. "There's plenty ya could do, trust me. But unless you're gettin' back in there with me, it ain't happenin'..."  
'Ya could keep the sheets warm for me. Make sure they're all toasty for when I get back..."  
"Or I could busy myself downstairs while ya gone, tidy away that mountain of washin' up in the kitchen; try n make the sofa look a bit less like it's had two fully grown men loungin' over it all weekend..."

"Quite the domestic goddess ain't ya!" Ben teased a kiss between their lips. "Still, ya know what they say: goddess in the kitchen; whore in the bedroom .." He trailed his tongue along Callum's bottom lip.  
"In your dreams..." Callum chuckled.  
"Don't need to dream it; got everythin' I could possibly desire right here.. " Ben returned with that heart stopping sense of honest simplicity that caught Callum's breath every time.

"Well," Calllum concluded softly. " I guess the sooner you're gone, the sooner you'll be back..."  
"Ya actually tryin' to get rid of me now?" Ben pouted.  
"Never," Callum assured, instigating a soft kiss between them.

"Mmmm," Ben purred into their connected lips, then leant back to look Callum square in the eye. "Just know Mr Highway that those clothes of yours are all comin' off again the second I get back. ."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," Callum smiled enticingly. "Now get gone will ya..."


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I have no idea where my writing comes from sometimes...The previous chapter was originally meant to link into an existing scene, but I didn't get it there...Then this chapter was definitely meant to bridge to that scene, but I got distracted...  
...Third time lucky for the next chapter; anyway; still lovely to be writing the boys in happy times amidst all the current strife. Who can guess the actual scene I'm trying (& currently failing) to bridge to...

## Unseen scene 28/10/19

"Hi honey, I'm home..." Ben gave the front door of the Mitchell house a firm theatrical kick shut with one foot. "Have ya missed me?"  
"In 'ere," Callum's voice greeted him from the kitchen. He either hadn't heard the question or had opted to ignore it.

Ben strode purposefully in that direction, slipping the coat from his back. "Oh my," he exhaled when greeted by the sight of Callum in rubber gloves. "Just need an apron to finish off that look you've got goin' on there babe". 

He discarded his keys on the kitchen table & sidled over to stand behind the taller man, placing his hands to his hips. & a kiss to his neck. "Would look better still if ya were butt naked below said apron..."

"What, ya want a whore in the kitchen as well as the bedroom now do ya?" Callum smiled, removing the gloves from his hands & turning to face the other man.

"In the bedroom, in the kitchen, in the sittin' room, in the bathroom, in the car lot..." Ben began to list with an obvious twinkle in his eyes. "Need me to go on?"  
"Reckon I get the picture thanks," Callum returned with an easy smile. 

"So, business all taken care of?"  
"All. Done," Ben affirmed, delivering a peck to the man's mouth, then to his jaw, & finally his neck. "Got much more important business on my mind now..." His eyes drifted down Callum's body & then back up it, appreciating every one of its finer points.

"Yeah? Me too..." Callum concurred in hushed tones, with a mischievous smile.  
"Yeah?" Ben cocked a questioning eyebrow. "Do tell..." His mouth once again made teasing contact with the taller man's neck. Their weekend spent together had served to remind him how he'd missed such carefree, frivolous games of flirtation in recent years.

"Well, it involves me, you & a couple of tea towels..." Callum chuckled. "All this dryin' up ain't gonna do itself".  
"Uh," Ben expelled a grunt of dissatisfaction. "You'd rather do the dryin' up than me?"

"Didn't say that," Callum appeased with a soft kiss to the other man's temple. "Chores first, then reward...."

Ben pursed his lips together in consideration of that notion. "You drive a hard bargain Mr Highway. Lucky for both of us you've got plenty of assets to barter with..."

Snatching a tea towel up from the side, Ben set to work, recognising it was probably to his benefit to get the drying up done speedily. Callum fell in line to do similar, & they were soon making productive progress through the backlog.

"Oh I brought us back buns by the way," Ben remarked casually as he walked across the kitchen to put some cutlery in a drawer.  
"Mmm, so I see..." Callum smirked, eyes drawn to Ben's backside, cupped as it was by a pair of dark tan coloured trousers. Tight trousers at that, which accentuated the shape beneath.

"Twice in three days I've caught ya ogling my bum babe..." Ben flashed him a delicious smile as he returned to retrieve another item from the draining board.  
"Twice in three days you've worn such obscenely tight trousers I can't help but notice..." Callum countered, moistening his lower lip with a flick of his tongue.

"Admit it..." Ben whispered into the air between them. "Ya love that they're obscenely tight..."  
"Oh I definitely do," Callum grinned, trailing a hand to pinch a cheek of Ben's backside as he manouevered past him to stack some plates away.

Ben wasn't sure if it was his imagination in overdrive or if Callum was flirting back at him when the elder man seemed to bend down a little to exaggeratedly, his backside pointed outwards a little too pertly, as he stooped to stow the plates away in a low cupboard.

"Goodness," Ben fiddled at his own shirt collar in an attempt to loosen it. "It gettin' a bit hot in here, or is it just me?"

Callum stood back up straight to his normal equilibrium, saying nothing, but offering Ben a knowing smile & raise of an eyebrow..  
"Must just be me then..." Ben smirked, looking on as Callum moved back across the room. 

"Oops, butter fingers..." As Callum drew near, Ben very deliberately let the tea towel fall from his own grasp & drop to the floor. He then even more shamelessly turned his back to Callum, bending down overly suggestively to retrieve the fallen towel.

Callum expelled an approving chuckle at Ben's antics, swirling his own tea towel around in his hand to wrangle it in to a roll, then flicking it out to gently make contact with Ben's derriere. "Mmm, peachy..."

Ben smiled, as much to himself as actually at Callum, at their interplay as he stood back up straight "Mmm, kinky..." Taking a collection of glasses that he had recently dried from the side, Ben moved to a nearby cupboard; one this time that was at head height.

In an entirely over-exaggerated move, he strained upwards as if reaching beyond what was comfortable for his height, causing the bottom of his shirt to ride up & intentionally expose a portion of his midriff. A sight he had known on more than one occasion now to have some sort of effect on the other man.

Callum full on laughed out loud this time. "If ya need a hand to reach up there shorty, ya only gotta ask..."

For what was likely to be the one & only time he'd permit Callum to get away with a joke about their height difference, Ben gave his measured response. "Mmm, need me a tall, strong man to come to my aid. Know anyone who fits the bill?"

"Hmm, tall & strong ya say..." Callum playfully mused out loud as he moved in Ben's direction. "Would ex Army do ya?"  
"I wish he would..." Ben uttered flirtatiously, beneath his breath but just loud enough for the other man to hear.

Callum crowded his own body to Ben's, sandwiching the younger man between himself & the worktop. "Pass us them glasses..." he prompted: mouth a little too close to Ben's ear; hot breath fluttering against it.

Ben did as he was asked, handing the glasses to Callum one by one, noticing that as each glass was passed between them, Callum's fingers seemed to brush & linger a little longer against his own each time.

Ben bit down on his bottom lip. "Ya gonna stop playin' hard to get any time soon?"  
"Who's playin' hard to get?" Callum whispered at Ben's temple.

There it was again; that hot breath, somehow even closer than before. Ben bit down on his lip again. "Ok, maybe not so much hard to get as obstructive..."

"Ya want me to step back, stop obstructin' your way?" Callum murmured softly, breath against the younger man's neck this time.  
"You wanna stop bein' so intentionally obtuse?" Ben countered wryly.

Callum could only respond with an audible chuckle. He'd known full well the effect him standing in such close proximity would have on Ben; how his intermittent hot breath against his skin would drive the other man wild.

"What is so funny?" Ben writhed within the restrictive space to turn & face his man.  
Callum's eyes glinted with mirth. "Ya get so grumpy when you're horny & things ain't goin' your way..."  
Ben tilted his head; eyes trying to portray lack of amusement, lips trying to suppress a smirk, but failing miserably on both counts. "Better do somethin' to cheer me up then hadn't ya..."


	40. Chapter 40

## Unseen scene 28/10/19

Ben drew back from their increasingly reckless kiss, placing a finger to Callum's mouth & tracing it along his lips. "Ya wanna take this somewhere a bit more comfortable?" 

"Hell yeah..." Callum returned with a lustful gaze, pecking a kiss to the finger toying at his lips.  
"Look at ya hey," Ben smiled alluringly. "One sexy weekend & all of a sudden ya can't get enough..."  
"...Of you..." the taller man interjected. "Can't get enough of you..." As if to press home his point he licked at Ben's finger, then admitted it to his mouth to suck in it.

That vision alone was enough to prompt a marked stirring in Ben's groin. "Babe that's..." he cut himself off from even finishing, withdrawing his finger from Callum's mouth & crashing their lips back together.

"Who gave you the right to look so darn shaggable at this time on a Monday morning anyway?" Ben murmured into their kiss, hands slipping to the other man's upper arms, on which he took a firm grip.

Without disengaging their kiss, Ben began to back Callum out of the kitchen; eyes looking all about them in search of any possible obstacles, & guiding them clear of them.

Emerging first into the hallway, then on into the sitting room, where Ben manouevered Callum to pin him lightly to the door. "Bit of role reversal today hmm?" Ben's words hummed at their lips. "Usually you pinning me against the wall..."

Ben's hands slid down Callum's arms to take his hands & then raise both arms over their heads to rest back against the door. Their height difference meaning at full extension Ben's grip could now only reach to the elder man's wrists.

Callum incorrectly assumed this was the forerunner to Ben stripping his t-shirt from his back; instead though the younger man's hands simply trailed caressingly down each of Callum's arms, all the way to his pits.

Without any constraint forcing his arms to stay up, Callum let them drop & draped them over Ben's shoulders.

They luxuriated solely in their kiss for a few moments, before Ben's hands started to roam again, this time working their way beneath Callum's t-shirt & gliding up, then down his torso. Up then down. Up then down.

This was what always had Callum so eager for Ben's physical attention: he never knew what version he was going to get. Sometimes Ben unleashed the wildest of animals - pure driven passion & want; sometimes he played the sensual game - all slow, tender caresses under which they both eventually melted. 

This morning, Ben was in no kind of rush, his head dipping to Callum's neck, where his tongue began to feather flicks against his protruding Adam's Apple, illiciting sighs of pleasure from Callum.

One of Ben's hands strayed to Callum's clothed crotch, feeling an obvious rousing at his efforts. "You like that, hey?"  
"Always like your mouth & hands anywhere on me..." Callum exhaled his admission a little shakily.

"Anywhere particular you'd like either my mouth or hands to go next?" Ben persisted, now scattering standalone kisses randomly to Callum's neck.  
"Anywhere they want, so long as they don't stop..." the older man consented through shallow breaths.  
"Your wish; my command..." Ben whispered at the man's ear, before sucking on his ear lobe.

Callum could feel himself succumb a little more to each individual touch; his thumbs beginning to soothe gently at the back of Ben's neck, earning him a smile packed full of desire from the younger man as he sought to reconnect their kiss. 

As Ben's tongue worked its way into Callum's mouth, his hands worked to first unbutton, then unzip the man's jeans. "No need for these, I think..." Ben asserted as he tugged the offending items from Callum's waist, drawing the man's weight away from the door & closer into his own space. 

"Kick them off for me babe..." Ben prompted softly, tongue tracing along his lover's lips.  
Callum did as was asked, fumbling his way out of his jeans as best he could, leaving them in a discarded pile on the sitting room floor.

Ben's hands relocated to cup at Callum's arse, pulling him into him closer, yet closer, still.  
Both men growled in deep satisfaction at the press of Callum's semi hard-on against Ben's waist.  
"Someone's keen..." the younger man smirked knowingly.

Ben left one hand at Callum's backside, while the other worked its way round the waistband of the man's boxers, slipping it down inside as he reached the front. 

Callum instantly gasped at the touch of Ben's fingers against his manhood, which was already twitching in eager anticipation.

Ben initiated the merest of strokes to Callum's appendage, fingers teasing their way tantalisingly against it. 

"B...Ben..." Callum whispered through a shuddering breath.  
"Babe..." Ben breathed pure heat to the man's stubble. "What do ya need?"  
"More..." the taller man exhaled, increasingly breathily. "Somethin'; anythin'..."

"Somethin' like this..." Ben suggested quietly, his hand beginning to rub a steady rhythm to Callum's cock.  
"Mmmm..." Callum sank into the movement & the increase in heat it was generating in his body. "Definitely somethin' like that..." 

Ben swept into Callum's lips for a kiss, then withdrew from it, removing his hand from Callum's manhood at the same time. "Not what I've got in mind though..." 

"Ben!" Callum whined his disapproval, but found himself instantly crowded towards the sofa, Ben's mouth connected back to his; Ben's hands suddenly all over him.

"Sit..." Ben urged seductively, barely allowing time for Callum's weight to settle on the sofa before he was knelt upon him, legs straddled either side of his thighs.

Ben mouthed at Callum's face, nose nestling into the man's freshly-washed hair. "Someone's been helpin' themself to my shampoo again...love findin' my scent on you..." He ground his weight downwards into the elder man's lap.

Callum sighed, knowing he was being toyed with. In a bid to distract himself from Ben's teasing antics, he slipped his hands beneath the younger man's shirt & lightly scraped his fingernails along his back. "What chance any of your clothes will be coming off any time soon?"

"Zero chance babe," Ben returned readily, while his lips wandered along Callum's jaw line. "Told ya this mornin' before I left that your clothes would be comin' off again when I got home. Never said anythin' about mine".

"Argh..." Callum let out a grumble of frustration as Ben ground down against him again.  
"What's that babe?" Ben paused to flash a mischievous smirk. "Gettin' a bit grumpy now you've got the horn?"

The realisation then dawned on Callum that this was Ben getting him back for the earlier teasing he himself had dished out. "You shit..."

"Ah, ah ah," Ben seized their lips momentarily together. "Is that any way to speak to a man who's about to do this for ya..."

Callum's eyes, at first portraying confusion, suddenly widened at the realisation Ben's body was shuffling along the sofa, & his head descending to claim Callum for his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fourth time lucky to bridge across to the scene I'm trying to reach coming up then...
> 
> Still, don't think I've left myself with any option for that chapter other than the obvious...


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut alert; with equal apologies to anyone it offends, & offered in grateful thanks to those who received the earlier smut-fest chapter in this series so well.
> 
> While not averse to pitching occasional innuendo/smut into chapters in passing, I write these full-on scenes less frequently, but do so wherever I think they have real value to the narrative. Several cases in point here:  
1\. This clearly actually happened in canon - how else do we explain Ballum lounging on the Mitchells' sofa, Ben fully dressed, Callum stripped down to his boxers, with trousers strewn on the floor several metres away.  
2\. I see real character development in this scene again - they are still getting to know each other, & Callum is still finding his feet in being comfortable in his own skin. Ben is nothing but encouraging towards that aim.  
3\. Given Monday's reunion in the car lot I need all the practice I can get in writing smut to do that scene justice!!
> 
> I hope this goes down well (pun fully intended!)

## Unseen scene 28/10/19 (Leads into actual scene broadcast that day)

Now sprawled flat, chest down, on the sofa, Ben sank his head into Callum's lap & nuzzled his nose to his man's crotch area. He was greeted not only by a prominent bulge, but also by a red-hot heat that was emitted through the thin layer of boxer short material that continued to mask his awaiting prize. 

Ben dwelt in situ for a moment, nose nudging at Callum's concealed cock; just as a fearsome predator would stalk its prey. That in itself enough to prompt another twitch of anticipation from Callum's shielded appendage. 

Ben smiled to himself at the involuntary welcoming of his presence, glancing up to see Callum watching on in earnest lust-filled silence.

The younger man turned his attention to the inner of one of his man's thighs: nose dipping beneath the hem of the boxer shorts to run the material further upwards & reveal even more of the upper thigh area.

Softly, carefully, he began to deposit a number of bites to this most tender of areas, caressingly licking over each fresh mark of the flesh with his tongue. With each nip he placed, he felt Callum's limb brace at the initial sharp sensation, then relent at the remedy Ben's flickering tongue served up. It truly was both agony & ecstasy for the elder man in equal measures.

Ben diverted his focus back to Callum's crotch, pleased to see his efforts now rewarded by the man's cock trying to stand even more proudly, tenting the cotton material it was now pressing firmly against.

Ben pursed his lips together & held them against the still concealed appendage, emitting a hum of appreciation that vibrated straight through Callum's being as a shot of pleasure.

"B...Ben..." Callum warned shakily from above.  
"Mmmm?" Ben queried through a second hum that again reverberated against Callum's ever-swelling manhood. He knew he was playing with fire though; his man was threatening to burst through his own seams now.

"P...please..." Callum stuttered out his plea, desperate for his lover to give him some meaningful contact.  
"I've got ya babe," Ben spoke quietly as he withdrew his lips. "I am all over this..."

With due expertise, Ben eased Callum's erection from his imprisoning boxer shorts. That was all the release he was willing to concede at present though, opting not to engulf the man instantly with his mouth. Instead he a dealt a pattern of soft, wet kisses along the man's length, varying both their duration & frequency for added variation.

Callum hissed his disgust at Ben's continuing distraction techniques at first, but soon found this sensation to be particularly alluring. Still though he craved more purposeful action from his man, so was relieved at the sight of Ben sliding his weight from the sofa to settle on his knees in front of Callum.

Ben placed the palms of his hands to either of Callum's thighs, & rubbed along them gently while he eased himself into a workable position. Unleashing his tongue this time, he licked along the full length of Callum from base to tip, earning a shudder of recognition from his man.

Ben then finally consented to giving the firm contact that Callum so badly craved, his hand forming a fist at the base of the cock to present its head to his lips, from which his tongue again crept to swirl all around the tip.

Callum was in instant rapture at the sensation, emitting a whimper of pleasure as confirmation.

As Ben's tongue continued to tease & tantalise at the head, his hand began to twist & contort at the base. The increase in both tension & tempo causing Callum's fingers to grasp in desperation at the arm of the sofa & his head to fall back in bliss.

Star gazing at the ceiling wasn't everything Callum wanted from this encounter though: he wanted to watch Ben in action, the master at work, so he straightened himself up to take in the view below.

He'd chosen the ideal instant to do so, his decending gaze meeting Ben's ascending one; the latter soon accompanied by a devilish smile, to which Callum's eyes glinted in response.

Ben took all the impetus he could ever need from that, instantly claiming Callum into his mouth; eyes still locked on eyes as he did.

"Oh god..." Callum instantaneously exchanged, still finding Ben's wanton gaze when combined with sexual acts too much to handle. A flush of red suddenly engulfed his face & began to spread down his neck until beyond the neckline of his t-shirt.

Ben smiled at his man's coyness, before opting to go easy on him for a change by diverting his own gaze. Slipping his mouth momentarily from Callum's swollen cock, Ben licked his lips & spoke. "Go on - watch - I promise I won't give eye contact again, unless ya ask me to". 

He continued to glance up just long enough to see Callum's gaze return to him, without it being long enough for their eyes to lock onto each other again. Satisfied that Callum was once again a curious observer, Ben plunged his mouth back around his member & began to lap & suck, increasing & decreasing the depth at which he admitted Callum to his mouth as he worked him over.

This was another important gay rite of passage as far as Ben was concerned: actively watching another man going down on you as opposed to just lying back & allowing yourself to be devoured passively. 

There was a third stage that would come to Callum in time as his self-confidence grew: where he in receipt of the blow job would dictate its force & pace rather than he delivering it. For now though, that remained the more experienced man's task, regardless of whether he was giving or taking.

Callum found himself stunned into a reverie as he watched Ben's performance at his lap. At first so still & stealth-like, stimulating so many sensations even so; then suddenly more active, head bobbing to a silent rhythm.

It was such a base experience for Callum to see himself & Ben like this; suddenly no clear defining line of where one of them ended & the other one began. There was a level of visual pleasure to this act that he in no way could have foreseen.

Ben's free hand made its way back to Callum's thigh, fingers tickling at first its inner & then slipping to toy at his balls; all the while his mouth & other hand continuing to revel in their actions.

That latest change of ploy from Ben made Callum come alive with the sudden urge to touch as well as be touched, his hands moving to rest at Ben's scalp, which they idly began to roam.

Ben hummed his approval at that sensation, again reverberating another instant shot of vibration to Callum's manhood.

"Jesus," Callum's choice expletive when in the throes of passion rang out, the work rate of his hands increasing at his man's hair. Ben himself couldn't resist emitting a second long, slow hum knowing the effect it had on Callum.

"Gonna .." Callum loudly gasped, leg muscles simultaneously tightening & cock pulsating at the roof of Ben's mouth. "Gonna..."

That was all the warning he could muster as his load began to jettison into Ben's mouth, accompanied by the beginnings of a deep, earthy roar from Callum.

In the course of their antics of the past three days, Ben hadn't ever heard a noise so deep-rooted emerge from his lover. He had to smother down his own smile in response to ensure he could actually swallow down what Callum was so beautifully serving up to him.

Ben thirstily swallowed down every last bit, then licked each errant drop from the tip of Callum's cock, before a delicious smile spread across his features as he took in several long, slow, restorative breaths & then finally allowed himself to look back up at his beau, satisfyingly wiping the back of his hand across his mouth as he did.

His gaze was met by a dazzling grin from Callum, to which Ben responded with a lick of his lips. 

With a tenderness of touch, Ben gently stowed Callum back away in his boxer shorts, then rose from his knees to clamber back onto his man, legs straddling either side of him once more, & delicately combining their lips in a brief kiss.

"Think technically we've just nailed the essential bit of Netflix & Chill, but d'ya fancy the Netflix bit now? Enjoy havin' some space to ourselves while still it lasts?"

"Sounds perfect," Callum agreed.  
Ben connecting another brief kiss between their lips, then redistributing his weight to shuffle it down the sofa & rest his head in the elder man's lap for entirely different reasons.

"I'm choosin' the film mind..." Ben advised, the topic not even up for discussion.  
"Never imagined it would be any different," Callum chortled, settling a hand to his man's head, knowing Ben could suggest they watch paint dry together & he'd happily agree, provided they were holed up together like this.


	42. Chapter 42

## Unseen scene 28/10/19

Callum answered the flat intercom to be met by Ben's unmistakable tones. "Forgotten anythin'?"  
"Come on up..." Callum responded happily, surprised at this unexpected visit: it had been, what, two hours maximum since he had left Ben to it at the Mitchells. Sharon's off-the-cuff assertion that she hoped they'd washed the sheets enough to send Callum's embarrassment levels into overdrive.

"Hey," he smiled easily at Ben as the younger man emerged up the stairs.  
"Hey yerself..." Ben returned promptly. "Y'alright?"  
"Other than ya step mum findin' me on her sofa in me pants ya mean?" Callum winced.  
"Could'a been worse," Ben smirked. "At least I didn't still have yer cock in my mouth!"

Callum rolled his eyes. "Not really helpin' Ben..."  
"Nah you're right; we'll leave that one for Uncle Fester to walk in on here. Give him a proper eye full..."

"Ben!" The elder man chastised. "I thought we'd agreed you'd go easy on Stu for a bit...try & get him to settle with the idea of us? It'd probably help if ya stopped usin' that nickname for him as well..."

Ben was disinterested in the topic of conversation, so moved closer into Callum's personal space. "Anyway, listen, was there somethin' ya forgot when ya left my place earlier?" He blinked expectantly at the other man; head tilted slightly upwards to hold his gaze.

A moment of concern swept across Callum's features at the fear they'd left something highly incriminating of their weekend activities lying about the Mitchell household, but he was certain they'd been careful. "Er, like what?"

Ben tutted his dissatisfaction & scratched against the stubble on his own neckline. "Well if ya don't know, I ain't gonna be the one to tell ya..." At that, he slipped the coat from his back & moved to hold court on the sofa.

Callum looked flustered. "Don't leave me hangin' then; what am I missin' here?" He too moved to sit on the sofa, in the closest of proximity to the other man eyes studying him intently. "Come on Ben; if I've missed somethin', or done somethin' wrong, I wanna know. This is all really new to me remember..."

Ben sighed, soothing down a perceived imperfection on his shirt, then shifted his weight to look at his man. "Trust me, ya did so, so much right this weekend..." He leant in to close the gap between their heads. "Just forgot one little thing, that's all..."

Callum rested his elbow on the back of the sofa & lay his head against his hand. "Which is?"  
Ben smiled calmly. "Missed out givin' me a goodbye kiss didn't ya?"  
Callum's eyebrows raised. "Ya expect a goodbye kiss?"  
"Any & every time ya leave my side..." Ben confirmed with an imperceptible nod, & a look on his face that implied what he was saying was written in scripture.

Callum shook his head in disbelief. "Ya proper are a softie ain't ya?" He leant forward though, lips seeking Ben's, to rectify the situation that had been presented to him.

Ben lifted a finger to halt his advance , pressing it softly to Callum's lips. "Problem is, you're late payin' now, so interest will have to be charged..." He bit down the smirk on his face.

"Yeah?" Callum grinned, lips seeking the other man's again, & succeeding this time. "Hope you interest rates are competitive..." He teased at Ben's mouth.

"Best in the business," the younger man affirmed at a mumble against the other's lips, to which he began to peck a series of kisses. "Ya wanna pay in installments or..."

Callum took charge of the moment, capturing Ben's lips with his when he tried to retreat from the latest peck he'd delivered. "I'll go for one lump sum thanks..." he asserted boldly, hand reaching to the back of Ben's neck & pulling their combined weight down until they were prone on the sofa together, younger man atop older.

Minutes passed as they lay there kissing lazily, each other's stubble prompting the beginnings of a prickly rash on their faces; lips steady swelling from the continuous friction. 

"Mmm," Ben hummed when they eventually drifted apart. "Might need to keep ya permanently in my debt if that's the sort of repayment I'm treated to..." he rolled gently onto his side, freeing Callum from his weight so he too could do the same & they could lie facing each other at the closest of quarters.

Callum looked into Ben's eyes earnestly. "Gonna be weird burstin' this bubble of ours tomorrow & goin' back to the day job..."  
Ben brushed a speck of fluff from the man's chin. "Sure Jay wouldn't mind the odd conjugal visit..."

The taller man splurrered in amusement. "He still ain't got over findin' us havin' a snog in the back office last week, so can't think he'll be extendin' workers' rights to conjugal visits any time soon!"

"Shame..." Ben mumbled absently.  
"Just 'av to exercise some self-control won't ya?" Callum chuckled.  
"Was actually referencin' the shame my brother brings to the family by bein' such a prude... Ben countered with the quirk of an eyebrow.

"Actually, while we're on the subject of Jay..." Callum intervened, briefly pressing a kiss to the other man's lips. "Saw him earlier & he suggested the four of us should meet up for drinks in the week".

"Can't see why not," Ben shrugged. "If ya wanna, I mean..."  
Callum nodded his agreement. "Reckon it'd be good for us to take this outside in the world again..."  
There it went again, that quirk of an eyebrow.  
"Get yer mind out the gutter will ya?" Callum asserted with a grin. "I was talkin' about goin' out on a date, not what you've got in mind..."

\- - -

After some more chat interspersed with plenty of kissing, they'd settled on revisiting the film they'd been watching earlier that morning, before they'd been interrupted by the return of Sharon & Dennis.

Somewhere along the line Callum had rustled them up some snacks & refreshments, & they'd snuggled into each other's hold for their afternoon viewing. Callum seated, with legs raised on the coffee table in front of him; Ben curled up against him, feet on the sofa.

"Ya actually got any intention of watchin' this, or..." Some 45 minutes in & Callum kept his eyes on the screen, trying to ignore the fact Ben was currently clambering & clawing his way up the side of his body planting a trail of hot kisses as he went.

"Or," Ben responded in a husky whisper. "Definitely or..." He spattered ever more kisses to Callum's neck, hands pawing at the collar of his round neck jumper in an attempt to uncover more skin.  
Callum writhed under the ticklish sensation. "Don't ya wanna know what happens in the end?"  
"Know exactly what happens in the end babe; sat through it with Lex dozens of times..." Ben wasn't for turning.

"And what about those of us that ain't seen it before?" Callum continued to protest, knowing that his holding out would slowly be driving the other man mad.  
"Watch it on your time, not mine..." Ben nipped & licked behind his man's ear. "Said yerself earlier, we should be makin' the most of this alone time together..."

"And there was me thinkin' we were..." Callum chortled, switching the television off, & shifting his weight to look at the younger man. "D'ya ever stop thinkin' 'bout sex?"  
"Course," Ben's eyes sparkled, "don't think about it when I'm havin' it..."

Callum shook his head in pretend scorn. "So if I give into ya now, ya gonna let me watch the end of that film in peace later..."  
"Might do..." Ben's hand crept to Callum's thigh. "Can't promise I'll be able to keep my hands off ya though..."

"Ah well," Callum smiled, privately amazed at just how easily the flirting game came to him nowadays."In that case..."  
Ben leant in close, expectant of a kiss.  
Callum encased the man's hand with his own. "It'll have to be a no from me..." he winked, rising swiftly from the sofa to gather up the debris of plates in front of them.

"Arghhhhh..." Ben let out a pained moan of frustration, face planting down against the sofa cushion on which his man had until recently been sat.

Callum made his way to the kitchen, a broad smirk on his face. "Anyone ever told ya you're a drama queen Ben Mitchell?"

Ben retaliated at a mumble, face still smothered in the cushion. "Anyone ever told ya you're a prick tease Callum Highway?"  
"Did that all by yerself I'm afraid." Callum laughed, clattering the crockery into the sink. "You were the one virtually rubbin' yourself off against my side..."

"Arghhhh..." Ben rolled onto his back & shut his eyes, trying to talk himself down, given his man was offering him absolutely no relief. He slung an arm across his forehead in added demonstration of his suffering.

Callum looked on & smiled to himself, knowing full well he had no intention of doing the washing up or anything so similarly mundane when he had a sexy, aching man on his sofa. He just wanted to make the point they'd do it on his terms as well as Ben's.

Slow & stealth-like, Callum made his move: Ben apparently oblivious.

Lifting his jumper over his head, then his t-shirt, Cakkum sprawled himself down on the bed. Then counted to ten in his mind, before calling out loudly enough for his words to carry their way to Ben in the sitting room.

"Ya comin' to keep me company in this bed then, or..."

Ben had never moved so fast in his life.


	43. Chapter 43

## Unseen scene 28/10/19

There had been method in Callum's approach. His stalling tactics over going to bed with Ben that afternoon had been little about sustaining their flirtation, or teaching the younger man a lesson about patience. In reality it had been more about managing Ben's frame of mind. Sleeping together in Callum's room for the first time, where ghosts of the past remained present for Ben, had needed careful handling. 

Callum feeling duty bound to safeguard Ben from acting on a primal instinct he might have later regretted. By delaying the moment, Callum had taken away the heat & let Ben make a judgement that wasn’t clouded by lust.

Paul wasn’t the out of bounds topic he’d sometimes become in their early trysts, provided that it was on terms Ben was comfortable with. Callum was learning: if you didn’t corner or provoke Ben, he often embraced any chance to be honest & open when it was just the two of them together. Callum just had to pick his moments & not push too hard if he saw Ben’s walls start to reappear. 

"Tell me about Paul..." Callum's words broke through their post-coital afterglow, breath still gently heaving from their recent exertions. 

Ben's head lifted almost imperceptibly from Callum's chest, where he'd been enjoying the sensory overload of his lover's racing heartbeat reverberating against his ear. "So to be clear; you & me have just had hot, raging sex & now you want me to tell you about my ex?"

"That's pretty much the size of it," Callum hummed in encouraging agreement. His fingers roaming their way through Ben's hair. "Paul's a big part of your world, so he's a big part of mine too..." 

Callum was probably the one person, with the possible exception of Pam, who actually entertained the notion of talking about Paul in the present tense. To everybody else, he was a historical figure, only to be referred to in the past tense. Ben appreciated that nuance; that Callum understood Paul still lived on in Ben's heart.

Ben took in a long breath, then nestled his cheek deeper into Callum's chest, a fond smile crossing his features. "Well, he'd have something to say about you so casually referencing _big parts_ while we're lay in bed together for a start..."__

_ _Callum suppressed a chuckle. "Guess that explains where ya get your love of innuendo from..." His fingers began to play at his man's scalp. "Describe him to me..." Callum implored softly._ _

_ _Ben snuggled in closer still: one leg sprawled lazily across one of Callum's. His thumb beginning to trace an absent-minded pattern against the taller man's torso as he gave thoughtful consideration to the prompt._ _

_ _"Paul..." Ben paused to muse some more. "Paul was all the ‘f’s: fearless, fun & feisty..."  
"Wow," Callum smiled, "a feisty & a hot head together. How did the two of ya ever work?"_ _

_ _"Er, who ya callin' hot headed?" Ben challenged, although a lack of heat in his voice. "I'm hundred percent passion me..."  
"Don't I know it..." Callum pressed a kiss to the other man's temple. "Fearless sounds familiar when it comes to you too..."_ _

_ _Ben shook his head in dismissal. "Nah, I ain't fearless. I have fear every single day. I just over compensate on the cockiness to hide it..."  
“Whatever ya got to be fearful of?” Callum questioned disbelievingly, fingers momentarily grazing the man’s scalp affectionately.  
“Failure; lack of acceptance; rejection; not bein’ a good enough dad for Lexi…” He reeled the list off as if it was engrained on his soul.  
“You’re an amazin’ dad; ya shouldn’t ever doubt that,” the elder man intervened softly. “Lexi’s a great kid”._ _

_ _“Can’t take the credit for that one,” Ben refuted, tipping a kiss to his man’s chest. “That’s all Lo’s work. I’m just the cavalry”.  
“You’re King in Lexi’s eyes,” Callum assured warmly.  
“Mmm,” the younger man hummed, expelling a yawn of satisfaction & stretching out his limbs. “King Ben; has a bit of a ring to it, don’t it?”  
Callum altered his weight a little to pull his lover back into his body & chuckled lightly. “Just don’t go expectin’ me to hail ya…”_ _

_ _Ben carefully redistributed the sprawl of his limbs back across those of the elder man. “Go on then,” he sniffed faintly. “What fears ya got?”  
Callum’s brow furrowed in concentration. “Lettin’ people down maybe…”  
“As if ya could ever be classed as a let down,” Ben smiled in homage to the man’s prowess in the bedroom. “That all ya got though? I’ve got this big long list of insecurities & you’ve just got that one thing?”_ _

_ _"I guess when you've spent a fair amount of your life hidin' your true self from people, but always worryin' it might one day be exposed, once ya start bein' true to yourself there ain't really that much to fear any more..." _ _

_ _"Indeed..." Ben affirmed, albeit a little pensively, as his hand traced its way down Callum's side, drifting across, but careful not to dwell upon, his scar from his army days. Yet again, Ben was left with the suspicion there was a story festering there somewhere. Who was he to talk about skeletons in the cupboard though. He wouldn't push Callum on it if the man himself didn't want it._ _

_ _"Anyway," Callum intercepted his thoughts. "When ya said Paul was all the f's earlier, I was convinced at least two of those words would of been fit & fuckable. You're slackin' on your descriptive powers..."_ _

_ _Ben smirked. "Couldn't use those words though could I babe, cos that's how I'd describe you...Fit, fuckable & mighty, mighty fine".  
_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possibly a controversial chapter introducing the notion that Ben & Callum might have spent time talking about Paul, & it might come back to bite me in actual canon in time, but I thought it important to broach...
> 
> Not least because of the saga over which room they sleep in at Callum's flat - I needed to give my version of that a definitive ending & get Ben to a point where he was comfortable being back in that smaller bedroom.
> 
> Equally in my mind Ben fell hard for Callum - even if he didn't ever know/acknowledge it. I like to think that in their solo time together he did open up to some extent at least & feel unpressured enough to talk honestly.
> 
> I guess you could say we're at a transition point in this fic now - a couple more chapters max then the boys will start to hit the first of their bumps in the road. I'm using these intervening chapters to maximise the fluff, & also introduce the odd potential back story that, who knows, may come home to roost in future actual canon.
> 
> Over-analysing yet again, but anything to stop my mind from running away with theories about current/imminent canon.
> 
> Thanks to all who read my ramblings & glad so many are finding enjoyment in them


	44. Chapter 44

## Unseen scene 01/11/19

Callum made hasty progress across the Square, already running a little behind thanks to a late afternoon walk-in customer at the Parlour. His good nature meant he would never hurry a client into making tough decisions they needed to take time over, or rush them out of the business premises just because it was closing time. 

All of which was entirely at odds with Ben’s approach to work-life balance: craving a mid-morning all-day breakfast - no worries, shut up shop for half an hour; fancy a spot of afternoon delight – flick the sign to closed on the car lot door & get at it on the sofa or the desk. Callum wasn’t’ sure he himself could ever be that carefree, even if his current career were less involved on a human level.

Ben’s impatience had been rising ever since Callum’s first warning text at 6.30pm that he was running late, along with the assertion that his man should head to the Vic to meet Lola & Jay as planned & he’d join them soon as. A flurry of messages had been exchanged between them ever since, mostly along the themes of did Callum need Ben to come over & help scrub his back in the shower, & exactly what the younger man might deem a suitable penalty for the elder man’s tardiness. 

Callum felt a physical blush flush his skin as he read Ben’s most recent suggestion while making his final approach to the pub. It was just coming up to 7.15pm, so he was feeling relatively self-congratulatory that he’d limited the deficit to being just fifteen minutes late.

“Goin’ my way sexy?” Ben’s voice emerged from out of nowhere against the darkness of the night.  
Callum’s stride faltered as he glanced about; his gaze finally settling on his man, leaning oh-so-casually against the pub exterior, one foot planted to the floor, the other resting lightly against the wall. “What ya doin’ out here ever?”  
“Waitin’ for my fit man to arrive, obviously…” Ben volunteered with his characteristic sass.  
“Oh ay, be ‘ere soon will he?” Callum teased with a chuckle.   
“Mmmm,” Ben hummed in amicable amusement, then settled to a more heartfelt tone. “Notice anythin’ special about today’s date?”

“Er,” Callum pondered out loud, glancing at the date on his phone. “1st November – four days ‘til Bonfire Night?” he guessed uncertainly.  
“And…” Ben prompted him to try again, pushing his own weight away from the wall to step in closer.  
“The day after Halloween?” the taller man guessed again, expression bemused.

Ben expelled a long sigh. “You ain’t gettin’ it, are ya?”  
“Gettin’ what?” Callum was by now looking pained at his own complete lack of comprehension.   
The younger man moved in closer still, lifting his hands to rest his palms against the other man’s upper arms. “Where we’re standin’ now; what happened here exactly one month ago?”

Callum looked around them for a moment, then finally cottoned on to what Ben was talking about. “Now I get ya…” he affirmed with a soft smile. “Hopin’ for an action replay, are ya?”  
“Thought we should at least be marking the one-month anniversary; it ain’t every day a guy comes out after all,” Ben affirmed gently, before a glint began twinkle in his eyes. “If someone hadn’t been late finishin’ work, we could of marked it a bit more privately, but now…”

“Now…?” Callum’s eyebrows began to raise.  
“Dark night…not many folk about…” Ben began to trace a line down his man’s chest with a finger.  
“Supposed to be meetin’ Jay & Lola right inside the pub & already late…” Callum chipped in, determined not to be seduced by the other man’s ploy.  
“Already late, so a few more minutes ain’t gonna make much difference…” Ben countered, gazing up expectantly while his fingers played around the buttons of the other man’s shirt.

Callum swallowed down a lump in his throat.   
Ben tilted his head a little & offered a bewitching smile.  
Callum growled at his own lack of willpower, leaning his head down to engage a kiss between them. “Everyone always said you’d be a bad influence on me…” His words transferred between their lips.  
“Maybe ya should of listened…” Ben smirked into their kiss, tugging his lover with him by the shirt, effortlessly relocating them to the nearby alleyway & pressing Callum firmly into the wall. 

\- - -

Callum & Ben lurched haphazardly through the doors of the Vic some ten minutes later, punch drunk on sensations far more potent than alcohol. Ben taking the opportunity for one last squeeze at his man’s backside; Callum remembering just in time to run a hand through his own hair & smooth down its dishevelled appearance.

“Oi, oi; look what the cat dragged in…” Jay rolled his eyes. “Lose ya way did ya?”  
Ben plastered a straight face across his features. “Got held up didn’t we…Callum wanted to show me somethin’…” The quirk of his eyebrows that accompanied that statement wasn’t lost on any of them though.  
Lola winked suggestively. “Oh I bet he did…”

Callum found himself suddenly unable to look their friends in the eye given his man’s total lack of discretion. He expelled a throat-clearing cough in a desperate attempt at diversion. “Some again you both? I’ll get ‘em in…”

“Cheers babe,” Ben watched his man retreat to the bar then took a seat on one of the stools at the table Jay & Lola had acquired them.

“You’re flyin’ low…” Jay offered his quiet observation & lifted his pint glass to his lips, watching the momentary doubt resonate in his brother’s mind; his casual glance down at his flies, followed by the realisation Jay was having him on.

"Ha ha, very good," Ben shot his brother a disapproving glare.  
Jay shrugged. "Thought ya could do with a moment's embarrassment like ya just served out to Callum. That poor guy's moral compass is too straight to cope with your public boasts..."

"Er," Ben scratched at the stubble on his neck. "Number one, your use of the word straight is unfortunate at best, & number two, it'd give the locals the thrill of their little lives to catch a glimpse of Ben Mitchell's manhood, so what possible reason would I have to be embarrassed?"

Jay's eyes rolled demonstratively. "Reckon a fair whack of Walford 'av seen it already don't ya?"  
"Would you pair pack it in?" Lola hissed from her hitherto watching brief.  
"Thank you Lo," Ben grinned facetiously. "At least you're willin' to protect my modesty".  
"Reckon that ship's well & truly sailed," she shot back, earning herself a glare from Ben, who let his attention drift away to Callum at the bar.

By god, he was a sight for sore eyes as he engaged in easy conversation with Tina while she served his drinks. Ben near mesmerised by the sight of his man's arse in that tight pair of jeans. 

"I mean, let's conduct a random survey shall we?" Jay's words cut through Ben's daydream to bring him back to the topic his brother clearly had no intention of dropping. "Completely chosen at random, let's say the three of us who'll be sat here at this table with ya once Callum gets back with the drinks..."

Ben sighed; it was going to be a long evening if Jay was in one of these moods.  
"So from my completely random sample of three, statistically we can conclude that two in three Walford residents have seen the Ben Mitchell manhood..." Jay was looking ridiculously pleased with himself.

"The luckiest ones of which have had the ride of their life on it," Ben smirked dryly at what he hoped would be closing retort, then delivered an appeasing wink to Lola.

Jay narrowed his eyes to glare at his brother. "Unbelievable".  
"Yeah," Ben chuckled, lifting a hand to scratch at his stubble. "That was pretty much the response they gave to my sexual prowess as it goes..."

Callum was making his return with their drinks by now; three pint glasses, plus a vodka & tonic for Lola, clustered in his hands: a collection of drinks with a potential for spillage that should have looked precarious, but seemed anything but in those large hands. All three occupants of the table looked up as he reached them, & began to carefully settle the drinks at the table’s centre. “I’ll just turn right back around & take myself off if the topic of conversation is still the same as when I left…” He eyed the group cautiously, uneasy that he was apparently still the centre of their attention.

“Just admirin’ those big hands of yours babe,” Ben assured him with a soft smile, patting the stool beside him as an invitation for Callum to join. “Last time Jay tried to carry more than two drinks at a time, it ended in Lo gettin’ a soaking. I was try’na lay a bet with Jay that you’d manage what he couldn’t…”

Callum smiled peacefully at both the thought the friends had moved on from dwelling on Ben’s revelation of their antics, & that he’d succeeded where others had previously failed. Politely passing Lola’s glass directly across to her, he then took up his seat alongside Ben, who promptly whispered teasingly at his ear. “Keep sayin’ how multi-talented those big hands of yours are, don’t I?”   
Callum focused hard on not spitting the sip of lager he’d just taken back out across the table. 

\- - -

“So,” Lola shuffled her way closer to Callum. “How’s it goin’; you & Ben?”  
He smiled easily, glancing across to where his man was perching against the bar with Jay. “Really good…” Callum returned his focus to her. “Bit of a whirlwind, ya know, but I guess that kinda is Ben’s world, ain’t it?”

“Oh yes,” she smiled knowingly. “Definitely a whirlwind, & just occasionally more of a washing machine spin cycle”. She let out a nervous giggle.  
He returned it with an uncertain chuckle of his own. “Quite the drama queen, ain’t he?”  
“You’ve noticed then?” Lola raised her eyebrows, but then softened her tone to speak again. “In my experience though, the bigger the dramatics he puts on around a person, the more he actually likes ‘em, so you two must be goin’ great guns…”

Callum looked across in Ben’s direction again, meeting the man’s eyes across the room this time, & sharing a fond smile between them. “Takes a bit of gettin’ used to, ya know, how direct he can be sometimes…”  
Lola scrunched her nose up affectionately. “I know he can be a bit full on, but you really should take it as a compliment. He just doesn’t bother to play up around people he ain’t serious about havin’ in his life”.

“I see that,” Callum affirmed with a nod. “And it don’t bother me all the time – when it’s just him & me, ya know. It’s just a bit weird havin’ our sex life out there in public”.  
She laughed heartily, on the verge of expelling a snort. “Callum, ya do realise Ben wouldn’t of needed to utter a word about what you’d been doin’ to make you both late tonight, don’t ya? The way ya both clattered in through the doors like a pair of randy teenagers did kinda give it away!”

Callum ran a hand through his hair & nodded a blushing concession. “Fair comment”.  
“Just play him at his own game sometimes, yeah?” Lola ventured to counsel. “Don’t always let him have it all his own way…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess here endeth what we might call Phase 1 of the Ballum relationship – the bit where they got to explore & really get to know each other. I didn’t feel any of that was particularly explored on screen – probably because much of it would have needed to be post watershed – so I wanted to give the time here to exploring it. Hopefully I have done it & them justice.
> 
> This is the tidemark for Phase 2 – bumps in the road; where we know from canon they bounced back & forth between angst & fluff for a while. All of which makes for some rather fun writing.
> 
> The next chapter will pick up in the immediate aftermath of Pam’s departure; I thought long & hard about writing something around her visit to the Square, but couldn’t really see any scope, so decided to let that lie.


	45. Chapter 45

## Scene continuation from 08/11/19 (Set in the Queen Vic, just after Ben has declared their official boyfriend status & Pam has left)

_“I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot, really, ever since you been shot. And I know it’s not like everyone, to wanna throw themselves on the frontline but, it’s in me…”  
“I’m not followin’ ya…”  
“I think I wanna join the police…”___

_ _Ben leant his weight back a little on the stool, abating the twitch of shock on his features with a barely visible shake of the head. The grip of his hand to Callum’s slackened slightly, but he fought to disguise that by fiddling his fingers amongst those of his boyfriend. Not even Ben could be so cruel as to declare their boyfriend status in one instant, then snatch it away in the very next. “Come again?” Confusion was written across his face._ _

_ _Callum reacted by further intertwining their fingers, eager to both reward & cement this progress in their relationship. “I wanna do somethin’ positive with my life – help people…” he smiled easily.  
Ben still looked utterly perplexed. “You are doin’ somethin’ that helps people. Jay’s always sayin’ how good you are with the old biddies who come to bury their husbands…”_ _

_ _Callum scowled at the assertion. “It ain’t just old people who die Ben. It’s hard ya know; sometimes it’s kids – Lexi’s age, or younger even”. His hand flinched at the thought, so Ben instinctively firmed his grip to it once more. “I reckon there’s only so much of seein’ that sort of trauma one person can take before it becomes unhealthy to be honest…”_ _

_ _Ben didn’t want to dwell on that morbid thought, even less so its correlation to his daughter, so gave another affirming squeeze to Callum’s hand, then took his away to scratch at his own head in frustration. “I ain’t sure bein’ in the boys in blue is necessarily any less traumatic…” He finally settled on a tack that sat somewhere between the screaming sirens sounding in his head & the outward front he was still trying to project in support of his boyfriend. The support he had assured him he would give just moments earlier. “…I mean they’re the ones who respond to the traffic accidents, go to the murder scenes. They see everythin’ you see and more, but in graphic detail…”_ _

_ _Callum sighed at the realisation he was struggling to get his point across. “I was in the army ya know Ben, I ‘av seen some of those things too…”  
“But you never talk about it, do ya?” Ben responded with a frown, his earlier softer tones returning momentarily at least.  
“Ain’t ever come up in conversation, ‘as it?” Callum swerved the question, taking a sip from his lager.  
“Maybe it should do some time…” The younger man asserted with a look of calm questioning.  
Callum was spared the need to pursue that line of enquiry by the emergence of Mick at his side. _ _

_ _“Now then, as the landlord of this fine establishment that I do believe has been so integral to the blossomin’ of this relationship we see before us today, I’d say a round of drinks on the house is called for, so what’ll it be boys?”  
Ben looked up at Mick blankly, still trying to process the previous five minutes in his head._ _

_ _Mick tried again. “From the first time you clapped eyes on each other as Halfway worked a shift behind the bar, all the way to today when you finally went public as boyfriends…”  
“Via the time when Mel’s psycho son shot me & I nearly bled out on your carpet,” sarcastic Ben finally got back with the programme.  
“Ben!” Callum chastised with a shake of his head, uncertain to this day how his boyfriend could be so nonchalant about it. In public at any rate._ _

_ _“Ah yes, but this absolute gem had a hand in savin’ ya, didn’t he?” Mick beamed, slapping a palm to Callum’s shoulder.  
Ben ran a hand across his mouth. “Nowhere his hand hadn’t already been before,” he mumbled under his breath, loud enough for his boyfriend to catch but just out of Mick’s earshot.  
Callum gave another disapproving shake of the head.  
“We’ll rain check those drinks for the moment Mick,” Ben held up a dismissive palm. “We’re kinda in the middle of somethin’ here…”  
“I know, I know,” Mick lamented. “Right in the middle of love’s young dream…”  
“But thanks all the same,” Callum swiftly interjected, as the landlord retreated._ _

_ _Both men then studied each other’s faces across the table for a moment, each of them suddenly persuaded that for differing reasons they didn’t want to return to the conversation that had been interrupted. Callum for fear of his army days being brought up again; Ben just trying to keep a lid on the overwhelming urge to kick off big time. It was the older of the two that flinched from the awkward silence first._ _

_ _“So…if we’re now officially boyfriends, does that mean I get a greater call on your time?”  
Ben happily jumped into accepting the change of subject. “Like a booty call, ya mean?” he teased with a smirk.  
“Could be…” Callum flirted back with a grin.  
“Works both ways though babe,” Ben returned with a mischievous smile. “I’ll expect you at my beckon call too…”_ _

_ _Callum stood up from the table, the suspicion forming in his mind that they could be making better use of their time elsewhere. “So what you’re tellin’ me is nothing’s actually changed from before for me then,” he smirked, lifting the lager bottle to swig down the dregs of its contents.  
It was Ben’s turn to shake a disapproving head._ _

_ _Callum held out his hand to his boyfriend. “Ya comin’ back to mine?”  
Ben accepted the hand & allowed himself to be pulled up & led from the pub. A storm was still brewing in his head though, that he knew he needed to at least attempt to disperse, just not through Callum. “Can ya give me an hour babe. Just gotta see a man about a dog, then I am all yours…”_ _

“What does that even mean anyway?” Callum questioned abstractly.  
“What does what mean?” Ben pressed a kiss to his man’s cheek.  
“See a man about a dog…Jay uses that phrase all the time. It just don’t make any sense though…”  
“Very little my brother says ever does,” Ben wisecracked back. “Just give me an hour, yeah?” 

_ _“Yeah…” Callum acquiesced unquestioningly, slipping a kiss to Ben’s cheek in return. “I’ll see ya in a bit…” With no further fanfare, he turned & walked across the Square, his retreating form watched on by his boyfriend. With every step Callum took away from him, Ben felt his own mask begin to fall. The beast was about to blow, & he needed to get himself as far removed from Callum as he could in the interim._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was fascinated that most of the fandom seemed to assume Ben had immediately flounced out of the Vic on hearing Callum’s police news, rather than sitting & hearing him out. I prefer the thought that Ben was genuine enough to sit it out for a short while at least, rather than blowing his top immediately. That all kind of fits with Ben’s desire to protect Callum at all costs, I reckon…


	46. Chapter 46

## Scene continuation from 08/11/19 (Set in the Beales’ front room)

_“He wants to be a policeman; he wants to become a copper…It’s not funny, alright; he’s serious…”  
“This is brilliant!”  
“I can’t be with someone who’s old bill, can I?”  
“Oh turn it in, you love the long arm of the law!”  
“Yeah ya can cuddle up at night; he can read ya your rights…”  
“Come on, this is brilliant…”  
“No Jay, it’s not brilliant alright; it’s not brilliant. How are we ever gonna work?”___

_ _“Ya know what? Forget it…” As Lola & Jay both collapsed into their fit of giggles, Ben realised he wasn’t going to get any of the support he so badly needed from them. “I’ll go elsewhere & find somebody who will actually listen to me…” He swept back out through the door with a similar force to how he had entered it._ _

_ _Lola’s face stiffened into a frown. “He ain’t gonna do somethin’ stupid is he?”  
Jay’s shoulders dropped as he expelled a sigh of frustration. “I’m gonna ‘av to go after him, ain’t I?”  
“So much for us havin’ a bit of alone time…” she lamented.  
He pressed a kiss to her lips. “I won’t be long; we can pick up where we were when I get back…”  
“What when Ian’s back in the house?” She visibly shuddered at the thought. “No ta…”_ _

_ _Jay grabbed his jacket, which had been casually strewn across a chair during their now interrupted moment of passion, blew a kiss to his girlfriend & marched out of the house in pursuit of his brother. Not that he had a clue where he’d headed. Experience told him though that Ben in flight usually meant one of three things: he’d either be getting blind drunk, fixing himself a hook up, or hiding away._ _

_ _Mentally ranking those scenarios in order of the wider devastation they’d cause, Jay opted to head to the Albert first, hoping beyond hope that Ben wouldn’t be there searching for solace in another man’s trousers. A brief sweep of the bar didn’t yield any clue that Ben was in the vicinity; then again, the speed at which his brother sometimes picked up men meant it wasn’t impossible he’d already been & gone in search of some secluded alleyway._ _

_ _“Teen,” Jay accosted Tina as she flitted around collecting empty glasses. “You seen Ben in ‘ere in the last hour?”  
“Don’t reckon so,” she shrugged. “Although only came on shift meself about half an hour ago…”  
That timeframe at least tallied with the one in which Jay had last seen Ben, so that eased his racing mind a little. “If ya see ‘im, tell ‘im to call me yeah?” He was already heading out of the door as he spoke._ _

_ _Grabbing his phone from his pocket as he hustled back across the Square, Jay found Ben in his list of contacts & rang his number. The ring tone was cut off after it sounded twice. Jay took some consolation in that: at least Ben wasn’t so busy with his hands that he couldn’t decline the call. That narrowed the likelihood down that he was either drinking himself to oblivion or in hiding. _ _

_ _Bursting through the door of the Vic, Jay did his best meerkat impersonation, his gaze ducking & diving about the place to take in its patrons. Again, there was no sign of Ben.  
“Ya plannin’ on lettin’ much more of that draft in? Cos if ya are, you can foot me next heatin’ bill…” Mick’s intervention from behind the bar broke his concentration.  
“Sorry mate,” Jay placated him by pushing the door to. “Just lookin’ for Ben – ya ain’t seen ‘im, ‘av ya?”_ _

_ _“He was in ‘ere wiv Halfway, maybe thirty minutes ago,” Mick volunteered readily. “They left together, probably off for a bit of how’s yer father, I reckon…”  
“Yeah, thanks for that mental image,” Jay groaned, before making a rapid exit from the building. Once outside he stood to consider his next move, rubbing his hand against his chin while in deep thought._ _

_ _Already tiring of being on a wild goose chase, he took his phone from his pocket once more, opting to check from a distance on whether Ben had ventured to the E20. “Billy, yeah it’s me; look Ben ain’t there with ya is he?” The confirmation that he wasn’t was immediately followed by Billy spouting a tirade about the state of their shared flat & how Jay needed to buck his ideas up when it came to cleaning. “Yeah, I know…” the younger man began to distance the phone from his ear. “Sorry Bill; you’re breaking up…I’ll call ya back later…” He told his blatant fib before promptly ending the call & secreting the phone back in his pocket._ _

_ _Jay glanced at his watch, privately bemoaning that this was not the way he’d planned to spend his afternoon. The sooner he found his brother though, the sooner he could get back to Lola. Striding purposefully across the Square, he approached the Car Lot, noting it looked to be in darkness. He took his own set of keys out though & checked inside the portakabin just in case. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time Ben had concealed himself away in there with a bottle of whisky after all. He hadn’t this time though._ _

_ _Jay was running out of places to look; the thought momentarily crossing his mind that perhaps Ben had just returned to Callum after all. It didn’t seem likely given his mood though: even while in the midst of ribbing his brother for his over-dramatic reaction to Callum’s news, Jay had spotted the tell-tale sign. Ben hadn’t come to them seeking answers, he’d come looking for someone to talk him down from doing anything stupid. This was familiar territory for all of them._ _

_ _Scuffing his shoes against the ground, Jay looked around to consider where else Ben might be; trying to recall any other venues he’d historically picked him up from the ground of. Only one last venue came to mind, so he set off swiftly in that direction: more in the hope than expectation of finding Ben there.  
_ _


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jay knows; Jay always knows...

## Unseen scene from 08/11/19

Ben halted the slow swaying motion he’d been perpetuating for some time in the instant Jay sat down on the vacant swing beside him. “Finished havin’ a good laugh at my expense now, ‘av ya?”  
“’appy now you’ve thwarted my sex life, are ya?” Jay instantly countered.  
Neither man looked at the other, each staring steadfastly ahead.

Jay huffed. “Ya wanna talk about it?”  
“Ya wanna listen?” Ben sniffed in retaliation.  
“Lo’s worried you might be about to do somethin’ stupid; we both are…” Jay decided on a different approach, knowing their petty bickering could carry on for hours if he let it.

It was Ben’s turn to make a concession. “I’ve literally just finished making a public declaration that we’re boyfriends; even I ain’t so heartless to snatch that away from Callum in a heartbeat by sayin’ somethin’ we’ll both regret…”  
“So say it to me instead,” Jay implored. “I know that’s what this is really about, after all...You tryin’ to protect Callum”.

Ben fisted his hands to the chains on the swing, then momentarily glanced across at his brother, before looking away again, commencing his rhythmic sway once more. “The week before last…” he began quietly, eyes rooted to the ground. “In the space of 24 short hours, I managed both to get myself arrested & fully pop Callum’s gay cherry…”

Jay’s eyebrows raised, both at the revelatory nature of the former & the crudeness of the latter, which fell firmly under the _too much information_ bracket.  
“Ironic timing or what?” Ben surmised with a rueful smile.  
Jay couldn’t exactly deny that, but decided to focus on the point of law in the first instance. “What did you do to get yourself arrested?” he asked with an audible sigh.

“Let’s just say a business associate went rogue & tried to get me in trouble with the boys in blue…” Ben waggled his jaw in frustration. “All turned out to be a misunderstanding though; released without charge…”  
“Does Callum know?”  
“Yeah, cos the second he found out I’d had an evenin’ in the cells he dragged me straight off to bed. Turns out that’s a real turn on for him…” Ben scoffed dismissively.  
“Ben…” his brother warned impatiently.

“He doesn’t know…” Ben’s bristle softened. “He can’t know…”  
“I reckon he’d prefer to know…” Jay ventured cautiously.  
“He. Cannot. Know,” Ben reiterated with a glare, each word enunciated sharply.  
Jay raised an appeasing hand. “He’ll never hear about it from me…”  
“Or me…” Ben reiterated gruffly.

“Well, if he gets ‘imself into the police, he’ll soon find out anyway, won’t he?” Jay reasoned. “Access to that criminal database of theirs will give him a whole new insight…Not just into you, but the in-laws too…”  
Ben shook his head. “I’m an open book to Callum; he knows all about my past…”  
“But you won’t let him know about your present?" Jay pressed.  
“Little point is there?” Ben challenged with another sniff. “If he goes through with this, it ain’t like we’ve got ourselves any sort of future anyway…”

“Says who?” Jay questioned defiantly.  
Ben stared at him open mouthed. “You seriously askin’ me that; knowin’ who & what my Dad is?”  
“Since when have you cared about what Phil thinks?”  
“I don’t care what he thinks,” Ben resumed bristling. “He’s just never gonna allow it, is he? Me in bed with a copper…”

Jay leant an arm across to halt his brother’s swing, starting to become irritated by the constant movement in his peripheral vision. “You sure this ain’t you hidin’ behind Phil as an excuse?”  
“You what?” Ben looked unamused.  
“You wanna hear what I reckon?” Jay asserted, not waiting for the answer before continuing. “I reckon there’s somethin’ bigger that’s underlyin’ this reaction than either Phil or your dodgy deals…”

“Well don’t keep me in suspense, will ya? Do tell Sherlock…” Ben jibed.  
Jay shook his head. “Ya need to work if out for yourself bruv; not hear it from me”. He stood up, sensing his work was done. “Talk to Callum, listen to yourself, & stop buryin’ your head in the sand…” Not wanting to leave the conversation on a negative, he placed a hand to Ben’s shoulder & gave it a squeeze. “Think about it, work it out for yourself, then come & find me over the weekend & we’ll talk some more…”


	48. Chapter 48

## Unseen scene from 11/11/19

“Ugh, give it a rest will ya?” Ben read the message that had just pinged through on his phone & promptly removed the offending item from his eyeline, shoving the phone deep into his trouser pocket, returning to his previous occupation of putting his coat on.

“Problem?” Callum emerged close behind his boyfriend, tugging their waists together & leaning his chin down to rest against Ben’s shoulder.  
“Just Jay bein’ an old woman...” the clarification instantly came, Ben’s right hand reaching up & back to caress the older man’s stubbled features. “Just need to make sure I steer clear of him for a while, that’s all...”  
“Mmm,” Callum revelled in their renewed physical contact while delivering some news Ben probably wouldn’t want to hear. “That could be a bit of a problem then, given he’s downstairs...”

“He’s what?” Ben’s hand stilled mid stroke. “Did I imagine that whole conversation that he was supposed to be takin’ a step back from the parlour?” He twisted round in Callum’s arms to face him.  
“Yeah, but he wanted to do a bit of a handover, so we agreed we’d do it this mornin’...”

Ben looked displeased. “You could call in sick; let me take my boyfriend back to bed...” A competition between the two men had ensued over the course of the weekend, each trying to see how often a mention of the fact they were now officially boyfriends could be slipped in.  
“You know I would love my boyfriend to take me back to bed...” Callum reassured with a brief kiss to Ben’s lips. “But that ain’t gonna pay the bills is it, so my boyfriend will have to wait until later…”

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Ben’s arms rose to hang loosely across Callum’s shoulders, his hands linking at the back of his neck. “And there ain’t anythin’ I could do to persuade my boyfriend otherwise?” His lips teased perilously close to those of his lover, hot breath loitering between them.  
“Trust me, there’s plenty you could do to persuade your boyfriend,” Callum assured him, a little breathlessly. “Which is why we’re leavin’ right now, before you have the chance to try”. He delivered a concessionary kiss to Ben’s mouth as some sort of recompense, which Ben insisted they linger in for a few extra delicious seconds.  
“Smuggle me out then?”

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“Ya what?” Callum responded in obvious bemusement.  
“Get me out of here without Jay realising, I’ll make it worth your while...” Ben teased a further kiss between them.  
“Why ya so keen to avoid Jay anyway?” Callum reluctantly broke their embrace apart.  
“He’s just naggin’ me about something he thinks I need to sort,” Ben conceded. “Been a bit busy all weekend with my boyfriend though ain’t I?” A smirk played across his face, alluding to the two days they had just spent together largely holed up in Callum’s flat, with Ben opting to conveniently forget his boyfriend’s career news for the duration.

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“You shoulda said if there was somewhere else you needed to be...” Callum made for the door.  
“There was definitely nowhere else I needed or wanted to be,” Ben followed after him, helping himself to a cheeky pinch of Callum’s arse. “Now, will my gorgeous boyfriend please help to smuggle me out of this flat?”  
“The things I do for you Ben Mitchell,” Callum shook his head in disbelief, opening the door & gesturing for Ben to go through it.

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The two men made the quietest descent of the stairs they could manage & crept towards the front door.  
“Callum?” Jay’s voice emerged from the office. “Is that you?”  
“Yeah, er,” Callum suddenly realised he was going to need to think on his feet to supply a reason for why he was opening the front door. “Just putting the rubbish out & I’ll be right with ya...”

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Ben’s eyebrows went into overdrive at the insinuation. “Are you likenin’ your boyfriend to the rubbish?” He whispered his protest, sidling their bodies close together.  
“Had to say somethin’ didn’t I?” Callum whispered back, maintaining the close proximity between them.  
“But the rubbish, really?” Ben pouted in demonstration of his displeasure.  
Callum collided their lips together briefly, then whispered back to his boyfriend. “As if I could ever call you rubbish, especially after last night’s performance...”  
“Right back at ya,” Ben grinned, reconnecting their kiss once more.

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The return of Jay’s voice soon interrupted them. “You ain’t seen Ben this mornin’ ‘av ya?”  
“Er,” Callum faltered, prompted into giving an answer by a shake of the head from Ben. Their faces remained in the closest of proximity to one another. “No, I ain’t seen him,” Callum fibbed. Ben instantly rewarded him with a heated kiss.

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“Oh right,” Jay continued the conversation from a distance. “I thought Lo said Ben had spent the night at yours...”  
Callum had to hold Ben’s face from his in order to give a response. “Yeah,…Yeah, he did stay. But he was up first thing...somethin’ about goin’ to meet a car dealer...”  
“You could definitely say I was _up_ first thing,” Ben smirked.  
Callum instantly silenced him by reuniting their increasingly passionate kiss. This didn’t used to be his style, but since Ben had hurtled into his world, he couldn’t ever get enough.

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“Callum?” Jay’s voice emerged again.  
“Boss?” Callum just about managed to disguise how breathless he was.  
“Nip & get us a bacon sarnie each will ya; brown sauce for me”.  
“Sure thing,” he agreed, casting a hand to open the door while Ben’s mouth found a way to connect with his again. Finally an opportunity to slip Ben out unnoticed had arisen.  
Jay though had one final unexpected instruction to issue. “Oh, & Ben, put my employee down & get your backside in here now…DO NOT make me come & get you…”

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Callum creased into a fit of giggles at the realisation they had been found out., collapsing his forehead against his man’s. “Told ya I was a rubbish liar, didn’t I?”  
“Thanks for tryin’ anyway,” Ben smiled appreciatively. “Ya still comin’ to this joint birthday party thing once you’ve finished work tonight?”  
“I’ll be there,” Callum tipped a final kiss to his boyfriend’s lips then began to pull away.  
“You’d better,” Ben smiled, releasing the hands they’d been holding without even realising. He watched on fondly as Callum departed, then tugged the jacket on his back straight & paraded into the back office.

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“You rang?” Ben immediately asserted his presence. “Repeatedly, throughout the weekend, nearly spoilin’ several special moments between me & my man…” He collapsed down onto a chair, while alluding to the fact Jay had been pestering him with a barrage of messages over the past two days.

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“You should be grateful I didn’t call your phone while the two of ya were in the middle of who knows what out there just now,” Jay sighed, moving across the room to shut the door, then returning to his own seat behind the desk. “Could of been fun to watch you squirm…”

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Ben allowed himself a protracted eye roll. “Just because you ain’t gettin’ any bruv…”

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“Well exactly, because the last moment I was ‘avin with the missus on Friday was interrupted by some drama queen, weren’t it?”  
“I was in my hour of need,” Ben shrugged. “I’d just been dealt some devastatin’ news…”

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Jay shook his head. “So you’ve talked it through with Cal, ‘av ya; his whole career change?”  
Ben fidgeted in his seat & looked away into the middle distance. “Not as such…”  
“So you sat with me on Friday havin’ some sort of existential crisis, then just forgot all about it by the time you got over here to Callum’s?” Jay huffed.  
Ben raised his hand demonstratively. “I got a bit…distracted. Cal can be very demanding of my attention”.

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“You’re seriously tellin’ me you didn’t once have the chance to talk over the course of a whole weekend?” Jay was incredulous. “I know you’ve been holed up ‘ere the entire time…”  
“What can I say?” A smirk played across Ben’s lips. “We’ve been busy…”

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Jay let out a forlorn sigh; he’d seen similar situations in his brother’s world spiral so fast out of control before. “Tell me you ain’t just gonna bury your head in the sand?”  
Ben’s lips pursed into a straight line. “Reckon burials are more your thing than mine, bruv…”  
“You know what I mean,” Jay pointed an assertive finger directly at the other man. “Promise me you ain’t about to make an almighty mess of this…”

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“Look,” Ben stood up abruptly, holding out a deflecting palm. “I’ve got you naggin’ me about Callum, I’ve got Mum runnin’ a three-line whip over this joint party nonsense this afternoon, plus I’ve got Lex naggin’ me continually about gettin’ a puppy…”  
“First world problems right there…” Jay sighed.  
“Just let me get this afternoon’s party of the century out of the way yeah, then my diary clears a bit…” Ben continued.  
“And then you’ll talk to Callum?”  
“And then I’ll talk to Callum…” Ben agreed reluctantly.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve taken a bit of a liberty with canon timeline here – referencing the joint party Mel threw for Sharon & Louise as taking place on this date – it didn’t, it was actually a couple of days’ later. It’s an incidental reference anyway, just giving Ben another excuse not to bring up the police career topic with Callum…Just mentioning in case anyone’s a stickler for the actual timeline!


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty Ben time...

## Unseen scene from 18/11/19

With the sting & reverberating judder of his mother's slap to his face still prominent, Ben snatched up his keys & fled from the house, slamming the kitchen door loudly behind him. Stepping out into the chill evening air brought the harsh reality home to him: that he had no idea where to go, or who to go to. His mother had made it abundantly clear that his presence wasn't welcome; Jay had earlier given him that familiar look of exasperated disillusionment; Lola was still gunning for him over what she perceived to be his callous treatment of Callum.

Callum - a pain ripped through his gut of the mere thought of him. They'd been pushing each other’s' buttons all day - flirtatiously at first, but increasingly cruelly. It had been for entirely genuine reasons that Ben had extended the invitation to Callum to attend the family meal - he wanted to include him; show their relationship off to everyone he could. He hadn't been blind to Callum's apparent disappointment at the mention of another family occasion he wouldn't be invited to, & had been proud to shatter through it.

Martin’s inclusion at the impromptu family gathering had been an unwelcome surprise, but Ben had sworn a private resolve not to let it derail him; not to let it derail him & Callum. It had simply been a quirk of circumstance that the talk of Callum’s potential career change had been brought up, granting Martin the temporary upper hand in their personal power struggle. No-one could have foreseen that first blow of the day being landed squarely to the equilibrium that was Ben & Callum, Callum & Ben…

Ben sunk his hands deep in his jacket pockets to guard against the nip of the evening frost that was threatening to settle; a growing unease about his being that perhaps that first blow of the day had in fact been foretold. Jay had been nagging Ben day upon day to instigate an honest conversation with Callum about his career plans, but in typical fashion, Ben had buried his head in the sand, hoping all such thoughts would disperse in time. Callum’s very public assertion that it was still his intention to pursue that dream had come to Ben as a hammer blow that was worsened by Martin’s jubilant reaction to it. 

He had yet to still decipher in his own clouded mind what had upset him most in that whole scenario: Martin’s unnecessary jibes, or the fact that Callum had opted to show him up in front of everyone…

Ben looked about the Square to take in his options. The Vic was a no-go, having already had a run-in with its landlady earlier in the evening; if he went to E20 in this state, Billy would most likely call Lola on him. He kicked the heel of one foot against the toes of the other as he further considered his options. 

Commencing laboured steps across the Square, he settled in his mind on where he would try his luck... 

Ben knew Phil had returned from his extended sojourn in Portugal – not that his so-called-father had deigned to make contact directly to let him know – he’d heard the rumours on the grapevine. Even after all these years, Ben bristled at just how low he sat in the Mitchell family pecking order…

He stumbled unceremoniously through the gate into the back yard. He wasn’t sure if he’d come for the solace of looking into the face of the one individual who was possibly more screwed up than him, or to continue his rampage of self-destruction. 

Approaching the kitchen door he could hear the unmistakable tones of Phil holding court; could see the four silhouetted figures sitting at the kitchen table, laughing, joking, enjoying their own perfect version of a family meal. The contrast with earlier events in the Beale household could not have been greater, & stabbed at the pit of Ben’s stomach once more. Phil, Sharon, Princess Louise & her grease monkey were on the inside while he, the black sheep of the family, remained out in the cold. There was nothing for him here, so he retreated as swiftly as his intoxicated body would let him, kicking over an empty milk bottle for good measure on the way.

As he moped on through the Square, his thoughts returned to what had happened earlier. Ben had recognised the instant in which the switch had flicked inside him; the moment he had first felt more cornered prey than leader of the pride. It had only made matters worse to realise Callum had seen it too; his gentle enquiry of “You alright?” as they took their seats at the table. Sweet, gentle, kindly Callum who saw the best in everybody, & would valiantly spend the remainder of the meal trying to reclaim Ben from his self-destructive spiral with a series of soft glances & calming smiles. Ben who had become increasingly too drunk & insecure to receive, let alone acknowledge them…

He skulked his way into the Prince Albert, fast running out of other venues to try. Elbowing his way abruptly to the bar, earning several complaints of “Oi, watch it,” en route, he slumped down on a stool & clicked his fingers. “Whiskey – make that a double – now garcon”.  
The relative youngster behind the bar gave him a wary look, knowing it was his boss’s son who was asking, while similarly concerned he was already looking the worse for wear.

Ben’s brow furrowed in frustration. “Unless you want to find yourself out of a job by morning?”  
The bartender sighed, knowing he was beaten, & poured the drink through the optic, albeit being brave enough to offer a few choice words of warning as he placed the glass in front of Ben. “Just make it the one, yeah?”

Ben’s head jolted abruptly upwards, apparently seconds away from berating the young upstart, but he abated as he met with puppy dog eyes gently imploring him that were strikingly reminiscent of Callum’s. That increasingly familiar tug in the pit of his stomach pulled again. “Take one for yourself as well, yeah…” he softened his tone, pulling a note from his wallet & tossing it across the bar.

Focusing his attention firmly on the glass in front of him, Ben’s mind drifted back to the last conversation he’d had with Callum. He’d tried, truly he had, to keep his tone light, carefree; to draw them both back to their delicious flirtation of the morning. Callum could read him like an open book though; knew each & every distraction technique he so frequently employed. 

There was a fire there too now in Callum, that Ben had first unearthed & then fanned the flames of. That fire sustained its own flames nowadays, fuelled by the newfound oxygen levels Callum had discovered in coming out. It had become Callum’s greatest asset, not to mention a major turn on for Ben, but was increasingly becoming one of the biggest threats to their relationship…

Ben swirled the contents of his drink round & round in front of him as he rested his elbows on the bar & pressed the ball of his palm into one of his eyes, then shook his head violently to arrest the latest flurry of recollections developing there. He lifted the glass & knocked back three quarters of its contents in one, wincing at the immediate chemical reaction taking place as it passed down his throat. 

A male voice beside him brought him back to the room. “AllMouth&Trousers23 as I recall?”  
Ben blinked his vision into focus at the mention of his hookup app profile name, raising an eyebrow & expelling an impatient sigh. “Depends who’s askin’…”  
“GiftedHands25,” the man smiled, somewhat expectantly.  
“Right…” Ben elongated the word & puffed out his cheeks in apparent exasperation, before scratching at his head. “Sorry, do we even know each other?”  
“Some might say intimately,” the smirked clarification immediately came. “Can I get you a drink for old time’s sake?”

Ben glanced down at his nearing empty glass, feeling the presence of a devil on one shoulder & an angel on the other. “You can buy me a drink, yeah,” he confirmed, draining the remainder of his glass in one & pushing it in the man’s direction.  
“Two of what he’s drinkin’ please,” the man placed his order with the barman, whose eyes Ben could feel burning into him, trying to remind him that he was supposed to be limiting himself to a single drink. Ben kept his gaze low to avoid those eyes looking at him; they were reminiscent of Callum’s sure, but couldn’t hold a candle to them in reality. 

Ben felt a familiar sense of defiance start to build in his body, as his spine tensed & he straightened up in his seat. “Chop chop then barman…don’t want a black mark on your appraisal do we?” It was a cheap shot, & Ben knew he was taking his own inadequacies out on an innocent party. It wasn’t exactly the first time he’d done that today.

“I take it you don’t remember our little rendezvous then?” Ben’s newly acquired drinking partner enquired as he passed one of the freshly drawn whiskies over to him.  
“I’m er, just tryin’ to place it…” Ben tipped his glass in thanks before taking a short sip. “Remind me when it was?”  
“April; it was my birthday…” the response immediately came.

Ben could hear the two invisible squatters sitting on his shoulders pipe up in his ears. The devil was sneering that all this guy’s birthdays must have come at once when he got with Ben; the angel was sagely reminding him that April was BC – Before Callum.

“Right yeah, rings a bell…” Ben fibbed. “And are they?” He nodded towards the other man’s hands  
“Are they what?” the man queried through lack of understanding.  
“Are those hands of yours really gifted?”  
“I’ll let you be the judge of that…”

Ben took another drawn out sip from his glass as he continued to look over his companion, giving consideration to whatever proposition was being presented to him. His guardian angel was already passing judgement that this man’s hands can’t have been that gifted, not in comparison to Callum’s, since Ben would readily be able to recall him if that were the case. The devil meanwhile pricked straight at Ben’s libido: this could be just the sort of distraction he needs for the night.

“So, how about it?” His companion pressed eagerly. “You were never one for much small talk before doing the deed as I remember…”  
Ben placed his barely drunk glass down on the bar & rubbed a forefinger to the corner of his eye. He was aware that the devil & the angel were now involved in a full-blown slanging match behind his back, but he wasn’t listening to either of them anymore. Something deeper was calling to him & getting louder by the second. 

He slowly rose from his position on the stool, feeling the immediate effects of the most recently consumed alcohol surge through his body. “Thanks but no thanks mate,” he slapped a briefly apologetic hand to the man’s shoulder, then retrieved his own glass from the bar. He took a few steps away, then leant across the bar to tip the remains of his drink into one of the spillage trays. “One’s enough for me now…”

His actions weren’t lost on the young bartender, who offered a conciliatory nod of his head, which Ben returned as he walked away.


	50. Chapter 50

## Scene continuation from 19/11/19 (Set in the Queen Vic)

_“So your reputation’s worth more than your happiness is it?”  
“You’re askin’ me to be someone else…”  
“No I’m not; I’m askin’ you to be somethin’ else…”  
“You what?”  
“Look I haven’t got the right to ask you to change as a person, & I don’t want you to be all Mr Nice Guy; where would the fun in that be, eh? I just think you should try & go legit”.  
“Why’s this all on me?”  
“It’s not”  
“It feels like it is…”  
“I’m just tryin’a repay the favour: you gave me the strength to come out…Maybe I can ‘elp you go straight…”_

Ben glanced down at his hand, encompassed by those of Callum, then looked back up to meet his boyfriend’s imploring gaze, which contained the ultimate gambit of emotions: devotion, assurance, enquiry, reason…All cast in the sea of total calm that was his eyes. 

Callum’s hands remained resolute in their grasp, while his gaze held firm in the return of Ben’s. It wasn’t lost on the latter that just a few short months ago, this was a man who’d been unable to look him in the eye.

Ben gave a scratch to the corner of his right eye with a finger from his free hand; a tell that he was nervous, they both knew. “Can we…” His lower jaw jutted out slightly. “Can we go back to yours?” The question seemed to linger in the short distance between them.  
Callum’s eyes narrowed a little, but remained unrelenting. “As in making up, or breaking up?”

Ben offered a soft smile & tilted the angle of his head inquisitively. “King of the one liners tonight, aren’t we?”  
Callum returned a reserved smile but offered no comment.  
Ben leant inwards, momentarily consumed by a wave of admiration that his man should be some sort of hostage negotiator, such was the control in his manner. “To talk? I think it’s about time I listen to you telling me about this dream career of yours…”

Callum rewarded that assertion with a generous smile. “Talking sounds great,” he affirmed, lifting Ben’s hand within his & depositing the briefest of kisses to it. To see how relaxed in his own skin the older man had now become in public was an immense source of pride to them both. 

Each man retrieved his respective jacket from a different location within the bar and they reconvened at the door, Callum’s hand instantly seeking a renewed connection with Ben’s. A chill wind was blowing across the Square, so Ben sunk their conjoined hands into his coat pocket for warmth. Nothing was spoken between them as they traversed the short journey from pub to Callum’s flat. 

Once there, Callum led them decisively upstairs & on through the doorway to the flat, hand still grasped securely to that of his partner. “Beer?” He turned back into Ben’s space on reaching the kitchen area, asking his question with the raise of an eyebrow. 

“Better not, after yesterday…” Ben looked positively sheepish.  
A recent graze on his boyfriend’s hand caught Callum’s attention, so he brushed his finger along it. “Was this drink induced, as well as your hangover?”  
“Kitchen trashing induced,” the winced clarification came.  
Callum expelled a long sigh. “Exactly how much did you drink?”  
His enquiry was met with a shrug. “Kinda lost count by the time I hit the pub…”

“You shouldn’t…” Callum stopped himself to rephrase the assertion he wanted to voice. “You don’t have to go on these benders Ben…” He’d already come to realise the quickest way Ben would alienate himself from a conversation was if he felt criticised; Callum needed to keep the channels of communication open, so wanted to keep the tone supportive and encouraging.

“Coffee? Tea?” Callum continued, privately relieved the offer of alcohol had been turned down. “I can probably even stretch to a hot chocolate…”  
“I’ll have whatever you’re having…” Ben was trying hard at remaining conciliatory.  
“Hot chocolate it is then,” Callum confirmed brightly, moving off in the direction of the kettle, but still pulling Ben along with him by the hand.  
“Would it not be easier with two hands, instead of one?” Ben quipped softly. “Much as I love my hand being tangled up in yours…”

Callum paused mid movement. “I’m tryin’ to return the support, remember? Your hand guided me through coming out; I want mine to take us together towards a better future. If only you’ll let me…”  
Ben took in a steadying breath, his eyes unable to meet those of his boyfriend for a moment. “I’d like that; truly I would…” he admitted quietly, pressing a lip to Callum’s hand before any negative conjunction could tumble recklessly from his mouth. “Let’s just give this whole talking & listening to each other thing a go shall we?” He set a further kiss to Callum’s fingers before releasing their hands.

Callum nodded his silent agreement, then set about his task, keeping a furtive eye on Ben all the while who, having removed his jacket & hung it over a chair at the kitchen table, moved into the sitting room & settled himself down on the sofa, leaving adequate space immediately to his right for his boyfriend to shortly join him.

“We goin’ all in?” Ben was well aware of Callum’s eyes on him from across the room, so decided to ease the tone a little. “Marshmallows & whipped cream I mean…Lex always insists on the full works when it comes to a hot chocolate…”  
Callum grimaced. “Might manage a half stale digestive biscuit crumbled on top if I raid Jay’s old biscuit tin downstairs…”  
“Ugh, reckon I’ll give that a swerve,” Ben chuckled. “Besides, I can think of much better uses for a can of whipped cream than wasting it on top of a hot drink…”

Callum shook his head in mock disapproval. “And there it is ladies and gentleman, the return of Mr Mitchell’s filthy mind…”  
Ben’s eyes widened engagingly. “Quite the comedian tonight, aren’t we Mr Highway. What has got into you?”

Callum ventured steadily from kitchen to sofa, carrying two overfilled mugs of hot chocolate, one of which he passed carefully to his boyfriend. “You, Ben Mitchell; you’ve got into me…” He took a tentative sip from his own mug as he sat down beside him. “And you can interpret that on whatever level you choose…”


	51. Chapter 51

## Unseen scene from 19/11/19

Elbow propped on the back of the sofa, cheek resting against his hand, Ben sat quietly facing Callum, listening to his boyfriend explaining his career aspirations. Well, he was trying to listen, but the sight before him was so captivating that his attention kept wandering. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Callum so engaged, so enthused; his expression more usually swinging between being intensely concentrated or happy-go-luckily bemused. The man in front of him now was talking with unguarded passion and ambition. Ben wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted him more.

“I weren’t allowed to have hopes or dreams as a kid…” Callum’s latest statement brought Ben back from his thoughts. “…Or when I occasionally did, they were quickly beaten out of me. It was always a foregone conclusion I’d end up in the army”.  
“You didn’t wanna sign up then?” Finally a chink Ben could grasp on to; somewhere in the back of his mind was the suspicion Callum’s army days still haunted him in the present day.  
“I wanted to make people proud of me,” the older man shrugged. “But I guess I’m more of a lover than a fighter, ain’t I?”

The corners of Ben’s lips twitched momentarily. “A mighty fine lover at that…”  
Callum rolled his eyes & shook his head. “We’re talkin’ remember, not flirtin’”.  
“Bit of a multitasker me,” Ben grinned. “I can talk, listen & flirt all at the same time…And that still leaves several other parts of my anatomy free to join in later…”  
Callum shot him a look of unamused disapproval. “You were the one who asked to talk this through…”  
Ben raised an apologetic hand. “I’m sorry; I’m takin’ in everything you’re saying, I promise”.

Callum’s annoyance subsided a little, but he still felt the need to further caution his boyfriend. “This is important to me…”  
Ben inhaled a breath to subdue the instant jealousy that statement sparked within him. “I know it’s important to you,” he conceded with an intentional softness to his voice. “And I understand why it’s important for you to follow your own path after years of being told what to do…”  
“Yeah?” Callum visibly softened in response.   
“Yeah,” Ben affirmed with a nod. “It’s the same for both of us, ain’t it?”

Callum leant forwards a little, his own arm settling on the back of the sofa, hand extending out in his boyfriend’s direction. “So you understand why I can’t accept you trying to dictate what is or isn’t a good career move for me?”   
Ben’s lips pursed, & he momentarily blinked his eyes shut to quell the potential for biting back sharply with the question on his lips. Having gathered his thoughts, his eyes reopened, to find the other man staring at him intently. “But it’s ok for you to dictate to me now?” he eventually queried quietly.

Callum opened his hand out as an invitation for Ben’s to join with it. “I ain’t tryin’ to dictate to you; I’m askin’ you to make some changes for the sake of us…”  
Ben’s eyes fixed to his partner’s open palm, but his hand didn’t accept it.   
“I meant what I said earlier,” Callum persisted. “I’d still be that scared, downtrodden, unfulfilled child in a man’s body if it weren’t for you showin’ me the way. You’ve made me the man I am now…”

Ben’s gaze lifted a little at that assertion, but he still wasn’t able to meet the other man’s eyes with his own.  
“So I’m askin’ you man to man; boyfriend to boyfriend…” Callum dropped his own line of vision in attempt to reach Ben’s. “Let me do what you did for me & help you to be the man I know you really are…”

Ben expelled a heavy sigh & rubbed the back of his hand along his mouth. “Those puppy dog eyes of yours Cal, you know full well they could talk me into almost anything…” Finally he let his gaze meet that of the other man.  
“Yeah?” Callum smiled, his eyes twinkling to demonstrate a mixture of growing hope & anticipation.  
“I just worry you’re putting way too much faith in me, let alone my ability to change…” Ben swallowed down hard.  
“I ain’t askin’ you to change,” Callum countered positively. “I’m askin’ you to be your true self…The man you let me see; let everyone else see him too…”

Callum let his words hang in the air between them, & took the time to study his boyfriend’s expression, which had changed into an emotion he hadn’t seen from him before: bewilderment. It was then the realisation hit him: Ben wasn’t conflicted because of his tough guy act; he was conflicted because Callum had reached beyond it to touch the real him. Just as Ben had broken down a similar invisible barrier in front of Callum several months previously.

It was now abundantly clear to Callum what Ben needed in this moment. He didn’t need to talked at anymore; to be entreated anymore; to be challenged anymore. He simply needed to know somebody believed in him without hesitation. Tenderly, he lifted a hand to his boyfriend’s cheek & cradled it. “You stayin’ tonight?” he queried softly. 

Ben’s face flinched with unease. “Feels like whatever answer I give’ll be the wrong one…” he admitted with a regret-laden sigh.  
Callum’s hand reached down for one of Ben’s & drew it to his boyfriend’s chest, resting his own hand on top. “Just follow whatever you feel in here…” They both knew they were talking about more than just the decision of whether to spend the night. “I trust you to make the right decision for both of us…”

Ben linked their two hands together and pressed a soft kiss to them. “Let me sleep on things alone tonight; get my head around everything you’ve said?”  
“Course,” Callum smiled evenly.

“It ain’t a no,” Ben continued, clambering up steadily from the sofa to retrieve his jacket from the kitchen. “It’s an I don’t know what to say any more…”  
“I know,” Callum confirmed softly, striding across the room to return to his man’s side. Once there he cupped Ben’s head in his hands & delivered a kiss to his forehead. “I believe in the real Ben Mitchell,” his whispered through hot breath into his hair. “I just wish you would too…”


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't say I'm particularly pleased with this chapter, but you can't win 'em all. Think it's because I found the actual episode this chapter's based around a little disjointed in respect of narrative. 
> 
> I think the concept I'm trying stands up to where Ben's at, just found it really hard to link everything together...Apologies if this doesn't have the usual flow - normal service is definitely resumed in the next chapter!

## Unseen scene merging to actual scene of 21/11/19

Ben was anticipating a Scrooge-esque visitation from the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present & Future at any minute if he was honest. He’d endured a restless night musing over everything Callum had said to him, that final assertion echoing in his mind like wind through the trees.  
_“I believe in the real Ben Mitchell, I just wish you would too…”_

He wasn’t even sure he knew himself who the real Ben Mitchell was any more, even less so who he wanted him to be. It was Thursday morning & he was now experiencing some sort of weird trip where all the significant people in his world kept criss-crossing his path, venturing an opinion on his life or offering a glimpse of what it might be. The devil & the angel still perched there, as ever, on his shoulders.

It had started first thing with his daughter asking when Callum would next be coming over; Ben had swiftly distracted her with the promise of an iced bun after school. It was a diversion that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Lola, who acknowledged it from the kitchen doorway with a rueful shake of her head. The truth was that Ben didn’t dare make any guarantees about his future with Callum in earshot of his impressionable daughter.

“Ben…” Lola had caught his arm to momentarily arrest his exit from the house some thirty minutes later. “Our little girl in there adores Callum you know; don’t break her heart, let alone his…” His brow had furrowed deep at that assertion, but he had bitten back against making any comment, leaving with just a pronounced nod of his head at her.

Martin, of all people, had then impressed a cutting observation into Ben’s mind, as the latter tried to make casual small talk with him in the Caff. “Some things are more important than money. Like goin’ home to a wife & kids at the end of a long day sellin’ bananas. But I wouldn’t expect you to understand that”. 

Ben had slurped down loudly another sip of his tea in apparent rejection of the comment, but it had resonated with him somewhere inside. As had the awareness that throughout his conversation with Martin, Kathy had been casting surreptitious glances in their direction, clearly still distrusting of her own son.

Jay, ever reliable, had tried his best to convince Ben he was capable of making a change for the better; he’d done it himself after all, so presumably knew what he was talking about. Then there was his polar opposite, Tubbs, forever brandishing the temptations of disposable income & all the trappings that brought. 

Transcending all of those things though was Callum. Always Callum. The one person Ben could walk into a room & sense the presence of without so much as a glance or the sound of the man’s voice. It had been just that case later in the morning, Ben stepping foot in the Caff, immediately perceptive to Callum being there too. Having placed his order, Ben turned steadily around. “Alright?”

Seeing Callum was with Jack Branning instantly tugged at Ben’s conscience again: the knowledge that his man was going to follow through on his career plans with or without his support. Jack himself couldn’t resist a dig though, just like so many other people on this day before him. “Just watch yourself goin’ forward, you don’t wanna ruin your police career before it’s begun…”

“Was he referring to me?” Ben asked the question to which both he & Callum already knew the answer. “You don’t have to rush off do ya?” He tried his best to make an appeasement, but knew instantly he’d fallen short from the look in Callum’s eyes; his boyfriend clearly unimpressed. Ben assumed himself in the dog house for his radio silence all morning; oblivious that Callum had observed one of his & Tubbs’ dubious looking business transactions.

“What’s the point of me stayin? So what, so you can get in my head & then pretend that you’re gonna change when we both know you’re not goin’ to?” Callum challenged abruptly.  
Caught off guard, by both the sting of the words, & what he perceived to be an injustice of perspective, Ben responded the only way he knew when backed into a corner; with spite. “Go on then, that’s it: walk away. Your funeral, not mine…” It was a low shot that he instantly regretted, not that he was immediately prepared to admit that to anyone other than himself. And certainly not to his mother, who was now giving him the death stare.

“Thank you mother,” Ben snatched up his coffee as it was served to him & made his hurried exit, suddenly little in the mood for the caffeine fix anyway. The devil pricked as his resolve as he stalked his way back to the Car Lot: if everybody else was so convinced he’d mess this up for Callum, what was really the point anyway? The angel, though, tugged at Ben’s conscience, asking him since when he had ever let other people influence his judgement. 

The day continued to lag slowly for Ben, reminders ever present of the choice he faced. What was really starting to grate was that everyone else seemed to think they knew best, & that the vast majority of them had disregarded any notion that Ben had the ability to change. Even Callum, it seemed, was now openly questioning it; so directly at odds with the man’s solid conviction of the previous evening. 

The question began to ring loud in Ben’s ear then: if Callum didn’t believe in him anymore, who else would ever again? And hell, that notion hurt beyond any words could express. Callum who had put all his sheer determination & blind faith in Ben when taking the decision to come out, was now asking Ben to show similar belief in his ability to show the younger man a lighter, brighter future. 

The thought began to occur then: what if this wasn’t so much a choice about Ben changing his ways, as it was a choice as to whether he was willing to let Callum slip from his grasp. On those stark terms, the answer was apparent to Ben instantly. 

As soon as he’d cut Martin loose from his debt, Ben gathered up his coat, wrapped himself tight within it, & set off with purposeful strides across the market to locate Tubbs & put distance between himself & the money-lending business. Much to the observing Callum’s unabashed delight.

“Did you do that for me?” The taller man sauntered up to his younger lover while his back was still turned.  
“Course not, nah…” Ben gave a whimsical laugh, turning to face his man. “But you’d better look hot in that police uniform…”  
Callum shook his head in joyous disbelief. “I dunno what to say…” He was struggling to think of a time that anyone had made such a sacrifice for him.

“Well don’t say anythin’, just…come ‘ere…” Ben eased towards him, raising his hands to grip at his man’s suit jacket: the taller man then scooping him into first a kiss & then a hug. As Callum grinned into their embrace like a Cheshire cat; Ben gripped his hands tight to the man’s back, as if clinging on for dear life, a look of resolute determination settling across his features. 

“I’ll be done at work within the hour, if ya wanna stick around…” Callum suggested softly as they continued to hug.  
“School pick up complete with iced bun collection to do, then I can be all yours…” Ben backed out of their embrace to face the other man.  
“Iced bun collection?” Callum’s eyes widened with mirth.  
“Want us to get ya one too?” the younger man chuckled easily.  
“Hell yeah,” Callum agreed as his mind settled on an idea. “Ya wanna bring Lex over to mine to eat ‘em; conceal the evidence from Lola…”  
“Lex would love that…” Ben affirmed with a warm smile. “As would I…”


	53. Chapter 53

## Unseen scene of 22/11/19

"So," Callum began to question breathlessly. "D'ya feel like a new man?" He turned his head on the pillow to grin across at Ben, who was emitting equally deep breaths following an early morning sex session. 

"Thought I weren't changing who I am, just what I am?" Ben too turned his head to look at the other man.  
"Busted," Callum winced, slipping an apologetic kiss to his lover's lips. "Ya know what I meant though..."

"Well yeah," Ben plastered a mischievous smirk across his features. "Four days since we last had sex until last night & I am feelin' a bit on the raw side now ya ask..."  
Callum groaned his frustration. "Not what I was gettin' at & you know it..."

Ben permitted a soft smile to emerge across his face, then turned his head so the nape of his neck was back flush to the pillow & he was looking at the ceiling once more. "Does feel like a bit of a weight's been lifted..." he admitted quietly after a gentle sigh left his lips.

"Means the world you're givin' this a go for me..." Callum smiled warmly, gaze still rooted affectionately to his man.  
"If this new agreement of ours means sex like that from now on, I'm gonna be way too busy for any dodgy dealings anyway!" Ben chuckled warmly. 

They both knew he was using humour to deflect from giving any emotionally insightful comment, but he followed it up with the physical concession of rolling his body into his man's, slipping his head to his chest, & sneaking a kiss to his pectoral.

Callum wrapped an arm loosely about his man's shoulder & they stayed there quietly for some time, until Ben finally spoke again. "Thanks for yesterday, havin' Lexi over; she had a ball..."  
"As did I," Callum assured, through warm breath against Ben's scalp. "Meant what I've said before: love that the two of ya come as a two-for-one package deal..."

"She's missed ya lately..." Ben's forefinger began to map lines along Callum's torso.  
"She's welcome round here any time..." the elder man pressed several kisses to the younger's hairline.  
"Ya won't be sayin' that after a fortnight of home visits..."  
"Yes I will," Callum shuffled his hand to ruffle it through his man's hair. "She's sparky, just like her Dad, & I love that".

"Sparky?" Ben's interest was peaked by that description. "Never been called sparky before..." Surging into action, he threw a leg over Callum's & sat bolt upright to straddle his man.  
"Well ya are, ain't ya?" Callum grinned cheesily. 

"Mmm," Ben leant forward to tease his next words to his man s lips. "Ya want me to light up a few more sparks now, before I head off to do an honest day's work?"

Callum gave no verbal answer, simply placing his hands to Ben's waist & rolling their combined weight down into the bed.  
"Take that to be a yes then..." Ben grinned, as he found himself pinned beneath the taller man on the mattress. 

\- - -

"Ya know one day, when you're mid power shag like that, we're gonna topple right off this undersized bed of yours, don't ya?" Ben chuckled in satisfied amusement as he buttoned up the remainder of his shirt.

Callum gave a bashful grin as he perched on the edge of the bed putting his socks on. "Or maybe you'll just have to rein in the acrobatics a bit?"

"Ya love my gymnastic prowess & you know it!" Ben called him out, while dropping down onto the edge of the bed beside Callum. "Was just thinkin', that's all babe..." Ben's hand crept to his man's thigh & his fingers began to play at the seam of his trousers. "There's an empty, more generously proportioned double bed next door that we could be makin' use of..."

"That's Stu's bed..." Callum began to reject the idea.  
"And where exactly is the elusive Uncle Fester?" Ben pressed again. "While the cat's away, the mice may as well play..." He whispered the second part of his assertion with hot breath to Callum's neck.

His attempts seemed to fall on deaf ears though, as Callum carefully retrieved Ben's hand from his thigh & returned it to his own, before rising up from the bed. "It's a king anyway..." he offered his closing thought as he moved to the wardrobe.

"Ya what?" Ben sat, somewhat disappointed.  
"The bed in the other room - it's a baby king size, not a double..." Callum clarified distractedly.  
"And I would worship you as my king for every night we spent in it..." Ben fluttered his eyelashes, more in hope than expectation.

"Pft..." Callum expelled a choked breath of air in mock disapproval.  
"Does that mean you'll think about it?" Ben edged along the bed to be in closer proximity to his man, then nuzzled the toes of his foot to Callum's leg. "I could get ya a crown to wear from Lex's dressin' up box if ya wanna go in for some role play..."

"Behave yerself..." Callum chastised weakly with a laugh. "Now get goin' to work will ya..."  
"Thought you might wanna walk me there?" Ben rose to his feet. "I'd offer to walk ya to work & that, but it wouldn't be much of a romantic stroll, would it? Down the stairs & into the funeral parlour..."

"So first he demands a superior bed, now he wants a romantic stroll before work?" Callum smiled. “Whatever next?”  
“Mmmm,” Ben hummed. “Can’t do enough for a good, honest livin' boyfriend ya know…”


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna savour some last bits of low-level angst for the boys before we have to hit the decline into full on angst & heartbreak, which I still have no idea how I'm gonna write...Gulp...
> 
> ...Enjoy the good times while you can gang, we all know we're creeping closer & closer to the inevitability of December...(Assuming I actually pull myself together enough to attempt writing it...)

## Unseen scene developing from actual scene of 22/11/19

Callum's expectant smile slid from his face in the instant he opened his front door to his boyfriend standing there with a bloodied nose & mouth. He let out a forlorn sigh. "What the hell Ben?"  
Ben tentatively pressed an exploratory hand to his own face as his eyes met those of his boyfriend. "Before you even start to get the wrong idea..."

His words fell on deaf ears as Callum turned away in disgust. "It's been, what, just over 24 hours since you promised to change your ways, yet here you are back in trouble already. I asked you this morning if this was all just game play & you promised it wasn't. Can I actually ever believe a word you say?"

Ben followed Callum through into the kitchen, relieved at least the door hadn't been slammed in his face. He winced both at the painful throb in his facial muscles & Callum's apparent distrust of him. “Finished?" he questioned softly, positioning himself directly in the other man's space. 

Callum offered a slow, deliberate nod but his expression betrayed nothing else.  
"I was tryin' to be the bigger man..." Ben began, peculiarly uncertain as to how he should pitch his tone. "Martin was out there in the street, paralytic & threatening to get himself run over. I was tryin' to do the right thing..." He could feel a trickle of blood seeping down his chin, so arrested it with the back of his hand.

"And he just launched a fist on to you unprovoked?" Callum scoffed incredulously.  
"We all know it weren't entirely unprovoked'" Ben admitted cautiously., "but we'd buried all sworn debts yesterday, I swear..."

Callum remained unconvinced, so Ben pressed again. "Think this through will ya babe; if I had anything to hide, why would I be here looking like this? If I'd been in an intentional bust up with Martin or anyone I'd be hidin' away from you right now..." His eyes pleaded for silent understanding.

Callum's defensive stance softened a touch. "You swear?" His eyes entreated those of his boyfriend.  
"I swear," Ben confirmed, his gaze not faltering for a second. Their unrelenting stare remained for several agonising seconds as each man sought to convey their meaning to one another.

Eventually, Callum found the reassurance he needed, steering his boyfriend down into the nearest kitchen chair.  
Ben expelled an audible gasp of relief, as he watched his man fumble in the freezer for a cooling bag of peas or similar, & then wrap it in a tea towel 

"Take this," Callum implored, oh so softly raising the pack of frozen vegetables to Ben's already swelling face, guiding his boyfriend's hand to hold it in place. "Where'd this happen?" He asked softly, his own hand still straddling that of his partner.  
"Literally right outside Ian's," Ben clarified, relieved that his explanation of events was being listened to. It was the truth for once, after all. “Martin has clearly been on the bender of all benders, wouldn’t let me help him so is now probably passed out in the gutter…”  
"Ok," Callum confirmed, stooping to drop a delicate kiss to Ben's forehead. "Keep that pressed to your face, I'll be right back.. "

With unheralded vigour, Callum strode across the flat to snatch up his keys in his hand.  
"You ain't leavin' me?" The innocent child in Ben surfaced from apparently nowhere.  
"I'll be back before you know it," Callum asserted calmly. "You're a casualty, but you're talkin', so you're relatively low risk. Martin though..." He didn't leave time for Ben to answer, simply exiting the flat decisively knowing this was what he needed to do.

Ben remained rooted to the spot, suspecting he must be groggier from the punch he’d taken than he’d first thought; surely his boyfriend hadn’t actually just walked off & abandoned him? It was typical of Callum though, always trying to be the good Samaritan. Ben’s constant need for validation meant though he found himself wishing he’d kept that charity at home, just for him.

Ben tried applying slightly more pressure from the frozen bag to his face, but immediately regretted it as a fresh stream of blood emerged from somewhere; whether it was from his nose or his mouth, he wasn’t entirely sure. “Damn it,” he muttered to himself, clambering to his feet & looking around the room for something he could use to stem the flow. When nothing of use became apparent, he began haphazardly opening random cupboards in search of kitchen towel or similar. 

“You ain’t continuin’ your recent kitchen trashing exploits, are ya?” Callum’s enquiry emerged from nowhere. He’d been true to his word & returned promptly, after all.  
“Ha bloody ha,” Ben cursed gruffly. “Just tryin’ to find something that’ll stop me bleedin’ out all over your kitchen. Is there actually any sort of system to what goes where in these cupboards, or do you just make it up every time?” 

He turned round to look towards his boyfriend, feeling any sense of frustration instantly ebb away at the sight in front of him: Callum, lightly ravaged by the exertion of sprinting across the Square to check on Martin’s welfare, tiny beads of sweat marking his hair line & a flush of colour in his cheeks. Not quite the means by which Ben had been planning to extort that type of physical reaction from his man during the course of the evening, but he’d happily appreciate its physical manifestation in the meantime.

“Finished?” Callum mirrored Ben’s exact same enquiry of earlier, moving across the room to stand directly in front of him.  
“Barely even started,” the response came with an attempt at a smirk, but Ben winced at the pain it caused him.  
“Let’s sort you out…” Callum combined their hands, & led him to return to the seat at the kitchen table.

“Ooh, yes please!” Ben quipped, although this time without any attempt at an accompanying smirk. “Any chance we could get me tidied up first though?”  
Callum shook his head in exasperation. “Do you ever actually stop?” They both knew in reality though that he loved each & every one of Ben’s playful innuendos.  
“Some might say my relentless stamina is a good thing babe…” Ben’s latest wisecrack reverberated after Callum as he disappeared into the bathroom in search of some first aid.

The temporary loss of Callum from his vision meant Ben’s boisterousness had relented by the time the other man made his return; the pain spreading across his features having become a reality again.  
“Get a couple of these down ya…” Callum settled some paracetamol & a glass of water on the table in front of him. 

Ben followed the instruction, then looked across at his boyfriend, who was shuffling a chair to settle himself alongside him, close enough to administer the necessary first aid. “We livin’ our lives through the police officers’ instruction manual now are we?”  
“What you talkin’ about?” Callum tipped some antiseptic solution onto a piece of cotton wool, then trained a hand to Ben’s chin, holding his face still while he examined the damage.  
“Assessing the risk to casualties; deciding which individual to prioritise over the other…”  
Callum responded with a dismissive huff. “This might sting a bit…” Without further warning, he pressed the cotton wool to just above Ben’s mouth.

Ben’s lips pursed in discomfort as he hissed out a breath of air.  
“Don’t be such a baby…” Callum retorted, part at Ben’s physical recoil of pain & part at his recent obvious attempt at juvenile point scoring.  
“Did you find him?” Unusually, Ben decided to instantly relent.  
“Who?” Callum queried distractedly, concentrating hard on the task in hand.  
“Martin; did you find Martin?”

“Nah,” Callum leant back, apparently content with that stage of his work. “No sign of him, so presumably he made it home safe…”  
“Hope so…” Ben uttered quietly, causing Callum to smile.  
“Big softie really, ain’t ya?”  
Ben rejected the assertion with a shake of his head, although his eyes told a different story. “You gonna kiss this better for me then?” A swift change of topic was called for.

Callum unscrewed the lid of an antiseptic barrier cream. “Don’t reckon there’ll be any kissing for you for a few days looking at the state your upper lip’s in…” Having delivered his prognosis, he gently applied some of the cream to the afflicted area.  
Ben appeared momentarily displeased, until a mischievous thought came to mind. “Guess we’ll have to find somewhere alternative for your lips to lock onto then…”

“Enough,” Callum asserted with an amused grin, as he packed away the items of first aid, then nestled a hand into one of his partner’s. “I did actually have my own little surprise ready for tonight ya know, before you arrived on the doorstep with this one of your own...”  
Ben sat up a little taller in his seat & adopted a curious expression. “Yeah?”  
“Yeah,” Callum nodded, tugging them both out of their seats.  
Ben pulled him back into his arms. “Always _up_ for a surprise me...” As he threatened to join their lips, Callum pushed him gently away.  
“No kissin’ for you – remember?”

“Spoilsport,” Ben lamented, although privately touched at Callum’s abundant concern for his welfare,  
“Bedroom. Now.” Callum asserted, in tones that more familiarly fell from the other man’s lips than his own.  
“God I love it when you go all commanding on me…” Ben thrilled gruffly, snatching up Callum’s hand to lead the way.

“Er, where exactly d’ya think you’re headed?” Callum halted their progress by pulling his boyfriend back towards him.  
“Bedroom, as per your orders…” Ben responded quizzically.  
“Not that one,” Callum steered them away from the doorway to the smaller room, gesturing towards the larger double instead.  
“Ah, so my little suggestion of earlier didn’t fall on deaf ears then?” Ben teased with a smirk.

Callum grinned widely in response. “Just fancied a decent sleep for once without you perched on top of me all night…”  
“Babe, babe, babe,” Ben tutted, tugging his boyfriend into the larger bedroom. “Number one, who said anything about us gettin’ any sleep?” He spun them around expertly to reverse Callum in the direction of the bed, kicking the door closed with his foot as they went. 

“Number two.” He pressed a palm to his boyfriend’s chest prompting him to collapse down on the bed. “…I still plan to be all over you. All. Night. Long”. Drawing the final three words out protractedly, Ben clambered on the bed & straddled his lover.


	55. Chapter 55

## Unseen scene of 23/11/19

Ben couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he came to the next morning. There to his left was Callum: prone, star fishing all four limbs in opposing directions, mouth ajar, catching flies in his sleep. The dab of antiseptic cream at the corner of his mouth the tell-tale sign that the kissing ban he’d imposed on Ben had indeed been breached in the night. Several times. In truth, various other parts of both their anatomies were probably also similarly stained with said cream.

With a tender touch, Ben reached a hand across to smudge the cream away from his boyfriend’s face, eliciting a soft groan of acknowledgement from the taller man. “I’m asleep, leave me be will ya?”  
“Powerless to resist touchin’ ya babe,” Ben returned huskily. “Plus I’m lonely on this side of the bed. Send some of those sexy long limbs of yours over this way…”  
“Can’t,” Callum grumbled back. “Think you’ve broken me…”

Ben chortled quietly to himself. Two nights in a row of marathon sex had clearly taken its toll on the less experienced of the two men. The first of those nights had been all about making up & reclaiming their relationship from the previous days’ wreckage: all passion, want & need, fuelled by Ben’s admission that thoughts of his boyfriend in a police uniform were already flustering both his mind & body. Last night had been altogether slower, at Callum’s insistence, to ensure they didn’t aggravate any of Ben’s injuries from the scuffle with Martin. Slowing things down though had only made the session even last longer.

“I don’t wanna worry ya babe,” one of Ben’s hands crept to his partner’s back, where his fingers started tracing up & down his spine. “But if you’re feelin’ broken after a couple of fumbles in the bedroom with me, how are ya ever gonna pass that police physical assessment?”

Callum made a partial attempt at a cat stretch, dipping his stomach further into the mattress & leaning his head back. “Who was fumblin’? I put everythin’ I had into last night…& the night before…” His entire body collapsed back down into the welcome respite of the mattress.  
“Mmmm,” Ben nestled in closer. “And I for one was very appreciative of all the effort you put in…” he purred into his boyfriend’s ear. 

Callum exhaled a long breath of disbelief. “How can you not be tired too?” He mouthed into his pillow.  
“Told ya last night, didn’t I? I got stamina, me!” Ben grinned. “D’ya want me to give you a massage? Help ease some of those achin’ bones of yours?”

Callum turned his head on the pillow to look at the other man warily. “Is massage not just another word for foreplay?”  
“It’s all sex, sex, sex with you, ain’t it Officer Highway?” Ben chastised with a smirk. “Some of us do have a modicum of self-control ya know…” The eye roll from his boyfriend suggested he remained unconvinced, so Ben pressed again. “I’ll even put my kecks on, as an extra guard against any funny business…”

“Go on then,” Callum loosely waved his agreement with a hand. “Put your pants on & deliver on all that self-control of yours by givin’ me a massage…”  
“Best decision you’ll make all day babe,” Ben rewarded him by planting a kiss to his shoulder, then pulled himself up from the bed to locate his pair of boxers that remained discarded on the floor from the night before.

“Where ya goin?” Callum queried at the dawning realisation his boyfriend was now retreating out of the door.  
“Be right back babe,” Ben assured, blowing a kiss back in his partner’s direction. “Just off to get the tools I need for my trade…”

Callum sunk his face back into the pillow with a growl, at the sudden suspicion he might be about to get a whole lot more than he’d either bargained for or wanted.


	56. Chapter 56

## Unseen scene of 23/11/19

After what Callum had deemed to be an inappropriate & overly protracted amount of crashing & banging about, Ben returned to the bedroom, having apparently ransacked every available cupboard in the flat for whatever tools he deemed he needed to conduct a massage. 

Callum was dubious to say the least. “What the hell have you been up to?” He mumbled into his pillow.  
“Relax will ya babe?” Ben assured him softly, his hands laden with various items. “Just close your eyes & leave it all to me…” He placed some of his cargo down on the dresser, returning to the bed with the remainder of it in hand. “Now are we goin’ full body or top half only?”

For someone so tired, Callum was capable of immediate response. “Above the waist at all times or I call the whole thing off. I am way too tired for any of your funny business…”  
“As sir wishes,” Ben smiled easily, tugging the quilt south & tucking it firmly around his boyfriend’s waist. “Above the waist at all times, with no funny business…” he recited the mantra as he clambered onto the bed, positioning himself to kneel either side of Callum’s hips. “I’ll just warm me hands up a bit…” He blew on them & rubbed them together vigorously. “Now…is anywhere particularly tense or sore?” 

Callum expelled a long sigh, still not entirely sure why he’d surrendered to this idea. “Just all over really…”  
“Right you are,” Ben accepted. “We’ll start with the neck & shoulders, then work our way down…As far as the waist, obviously”.  
“Obviously,” Callum repeated for the avoidance of any doubt. 

“Ya mind if I take that pillow away?” Ben queried. “Probably better for you to lie completely flat rather than tilt your neck…”  
“Knock yourself out,” Callum invited, stifling a yawn, his face planting to the mattress in the instant the offending pillow was tugged away.  
“All good then?” Ben double checked.  
“All good,” the older man nodded. “Just wake me up when you’re done, yeah?”  
“The cheek of it…” Ben jibed, placing a hand to each of Callum’s shoulders & starting to gently knead. “Way too much tension up here babe, no wonder you’re feelin’ wrecked…”

The sensation was actually quite soothing, Callum had to privately admit to himself. He was already intimately familiar with Ben’s softness of touch, but there was that ever present reassuring strength behind it too. As Ben’s hands manipulated across his neck & shoulders they did so with a sense of purpose & uniformity, rather than the usual will to roam & claim. This was something he was starting to feel he could actually relax into.

“Wait, can I smell burning?” Another of Callum’s senses was suddenly heightened, his torso threatening to rise up from the mattress.  
Ben gently guided his weight back downwards. “Should be the smell of pine trees from what the packaging said…” He pressed the balls of his palms rhythmically to his man’s back. “It’s some sort of scented candle I found lying around in your kitchen cupboards. Thought it might add to the mood…”

“Hmmm,” Callum responded dubiously. “So long as that mood don’t end up in my flat burnin’ down…”  
“Mmm, I dunno Cal, just think of all those hotty firefighters that would turn up…” Ben countered, applying more pressure with his hands.  
A smile appeared on what was visible of Callum’s face. “You’ve got a thing about blokes in uniform ain’t ya?”  
“Guess you’ll be findin’ out soon enough,” Ben teased. “Now quieten down will ya, you’re s’posed to be relaxin’…”

Callum acquiesced readily to the command, allowing his eyes to drift lazily shut…

…He was just on the verge of floating away into a dreamlike state he was being soothed into by the cadenced work of Ben’s hands, when his senses burst into life again at a sudden ice-cold sensation against his spine. “What the…?” Callum’s back arched involuntarily at the unwelcome chill encroaching him.  
“Shhhh…” Ben entreated softly, “Just a bit of baby oil I’ve added to your skin, should help with the loosening effect…”

“It’s bloody freezin’ Ben!” Callum complained gruffly.  
“Soon have it warmed up in no time…” Ben began to reason, using his fingers individually to spread the oil around.  
“Where the hell did ya get baby oil from anyway?” Callum hissed at the continued chill. “Please don’t tell me ya carry it round just like the condoms & lube you always seem to have on your person…”  
“Good boy scout me,” Ben chortled. “Always like to be prepared…”

“You are unbelievable…” Callum began to express his dismay.  
“I like to think so babe…” Ben’s palms began to press more firmly to Callum’s body again, working circles of consistent pressure along his spine. “Can’t take the credit for the baby oil though; found it in your bathroom cupboard, so I’m guessin’ it’s what Uncle Fester uses to keep the shine on his bonce…”  
“Please…” Callum immediately implored. “Never, ever, tell Stu you’ve used his baby oil to give me a massage. You’ll actually finish him off for good”.

Ben chuckled at just the thought, but focused on the task in hand. “This startin’ to feel a bit better now?”  
“Mmmm,” Callum hummed in confirmation. “Surprisingly good at this you are. Dare I ask where ya got the skills of a masseuse from?”  
Ben gave a minor cough to clear his throat. “If I said I learnt in prison, would ya take that the wrong way?”  
It was Callum’s turn to cough, although this time more abruptly & in obvious shock. “What, this is how you & Tubbs passed ya time as cellmates?”

“Yep, ya took it the wrong way; as predicted…” Ben removed his hands from Callum to wipe the excess of oil away with a towel.   
“Hey, don’t stop…” Callum bemoaned. “I was enjoyin’ that…”  
“Momentary stoppage only babe,” the younger man reassured him, promptly reconnecting hands to skin, then offering an explanation for his unexpected skills. “Did a lot of reading to pass the time in prison – books, newspapers, magazines – anythin’ I could lay my hands on. Read an article on massage in some healthy living magazine once & the finer points of the art stuck in my mind. Guess I retained the theory in the hope I’d have some hotty to do it to in practice one day…”

“Ya callin’ me a hotty?” Callum grinned, apparently enthused.  
“Can’t disclose that at present babe,” Ben warned with a laugh. “Under strict instructions of no funny business…”  
“Too right ya are,” Callum affirmed, letting his head sink back into the mattress. 

They fell back into silence for a while, Ben’s hands applying level, consistent pressure as he kneaded the tone of muscles that was the elder man’s back; Callum simply savouring the touch. A thought was forming in the latter’s mind though, & he wanted to give voice to it. “Tubbs – is he straight or gay?”  
“Why d’ya ask that?”   
“No particular reason; just curious…”  
Ben gave a sniff. “Never knowingly turned down an offer from either persuasion so far as I’m aware…And before ya even ask, he’s never had any such offer from me”.

“Weren’t gonna ask that,” Callum swiftly sought to clarify, then expelled a soft chuckle. “That’s done the trick for me, anyway…”  
“Eh?” The younger man sounded confused.  
“Thinkin’ bout Tubbs, that’s just provided a bit of much needed relief, if ya know what I mean…Those hands of yours were startin’ to wake parts of me up…”  
Ben couldn’t resist a belly laugh. “Right, well if I ain’t mentioning to Uncle Fester about this baby oil, I strongly suggest ya never tell Tubbs you used him as a cock block”.

“Noted,” Callum agreed easily. “Although can’t guarantee I won’t need to employ a similar strategy next time as well…”  
“Next time?” Ben enquired quizzically.  
“Next time,” the elder man smiled. “When it’s a full body massage we go in for…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artistic licence alert - I don't believe Callum had ever met Tubbs by this point in canon, let alone that he even knows Ben's history with him, but I just fancied adding a bit of fun to the narrative.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written in homage & deference to actual canon's role play scene...

## Unseen scene circa 03/12/19

“Beep”.

Ben lounged back against the upper table of the park bench, bored out of his brains. He’d naively imagined watching his boyfriend working out would be a source of hot entertainment; in reality it was just a regimented form of torture.

“Beep”

He retrieved his phone from his jacket pocket for the umpteenth time within the past 10 minutes, begging for some notification or other to distract him. None beckoned though.

“Beep…” 

Ben was making the sound with less & less conviction each & every time now. “I can think of a much better fitness test we can both undertake at home babe…”  
“I ain’t interested in your type of fitness test,” Callum chastised. “Chasing a personal best here…”  
“Me too…” Ben countered swiftly. “’Except it’s a world record I’m chasin’,,,” A competitive streak ran through his blood as always. 

“Where’s my beep?” Callum grumbled, reaching the picnic table & swiftly turning away again.

“Chasin’ a world record for orgasms delivered in a single sex session, if you’re even interested…” Ben countered with a gruff shout, instantaneously becoming aware of a mother, with young child in tow, within immediate ear shot, the former looking highly unamused. “Sorry darlin’,” he quipped promptly, “ya ain’t really my type…”

“I say again,” Callum blustered returning to his boyfriend at the picnic table, “where is my beep?” He collapsed down slightly, bracing his palms to his thighs, suddenly aware of the physical burn. “Next thing you’ll be tellin’ you me you ain’t even be timin’ this…”

Ben looked about his person guiltily, but said nothing.

“Ben!” Callum admonished. “Seriously? I’ve been sloggin’ my nuts off for 20 minutes & now ya tell me you ain’t even timed a second of it?”

“Whoa, not true…” Ben held out a hand in dismissal. “I timed at least your first four laps…”  
“After which?” Callum braced himself between deep intakes of breath.  
“After which I more sort of guesstimated…” Ben volunteered sheepishly. 

“Guesstimated?” Callum’s eyes widened. “Ya want me to guesstimate your sexual prowess in future? Ya know along the lines of, well I’d guess he was about a five out of ten, but I fell asleep part way through to be honest…”

“Five out of ten?” Ben repeated incredulously. “Not what I heard when I was givin’ ya one last night…”  
Callum was trying to maintain a stern face, but was powerless at the memory of their passion of the previous night. “Look, you’re no help to me here. Why don’t ya head off, sell some motors, then ya can show me some more of that prowess of yours again tonight…”

Ben considered the proposition for a moment, head cocked to one side in thought, before taking Callum’s arms in his hands & drawing his man into him. “Listen…listen for a second. I reckon I can still be a help to you with this fitness test, if we make it a bit more…interesting…”  
“Oh yeah?” Callum leant in closer, but sounded dubious.

Ben shuffled himself closer still. “If we both participate…”  
“You wanna run with me?” The older man beamed.  
“Hell no,” Ben chuntered comically, then settled his mouth in close proximity to his boyfriend’s. "We'll just add in a kiss for every beep you hit successfully..."  
"Oh so I do all the work, then you get the reward?" Callum rolled his eyes.  
"Reward-based training has benefits for both athlete & coach..." Ben teased a hand to the zip of his boyfriend's hoodie, fiddling it slightly down then back up again. 'So how about it; fancy tryin' somethin' from my trainin' manual for a change?"

"Go on then," Callum submitted. "Although I really ain't sure it'll catch on as a trainin' programme".

Ben gave a satisfied grin that he had got his way, & that his participation in his boyfriend's workout was about to become a whole lot more interesting.

"So what was it you wanted; 30 second intervals?" Ben tapped distractedly at his phone to find its timing device.  
"Better make it more like 40 seconds, seein' as I'm half-cooked from the runs I've done already..." Callum raised a leg to the bench & stretched his calf muscle against it.  
"Forty seconds it is; should give ample time for snoggin'," Ben grinned.  
Callum just shook his head in return.

The younger man took in the sight before him appreciatively. "We need to get you some of those tiny running shorts babe; the ones that don't leave so much to the imagination as those joggin' bottoms of yours..." His hand attempted to creep beneath the material & up his man's leg, but was instantly batted away.  
"Let's just get on with it shall we?" Callum huffed. "Before I seize up with cramp".

"Ok so let's just recap the rules..." Ben interjected.  
"Since when have ya ever bothered with rules?" Callum lamented, now beginning to jog on the spot.  
"I'll ignore that," Ben pouted. "So if ya beat the beep, ya get a kiss, but if ya miss the beep, ya miss the kiss..."

Callum was growing impatient. "Yeah, yeah, whatever; can we please get on with it?" He didn't wait for the response, setting off on the first of his circuits.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Ben called after him. "Ya jumped the start..."  
Callum briefly slowed to a jog & spun round to eye up his man. "All the more time for a snog at the end of this circuit then!"

As Callum then returned his focus to his run, Ben chuckled to himself happily, & supposed he should finally set the timer going. Once that was done, he set his phone down on the bench beside him & shuffled his weight as he awaited his man's return, which he had to admit came round in no time at all.

"Twenty seconds to spare babe," Ben greeted his boyfriend's return. "Lookin' good for a decent length snog...."  
"When did ya actually start the timer?" Callum scorned, "when I got halfway round?"

"Says he who jumped the start," Ben shook his head. "Now come 'ere..." He grabbed at the front of his man's hoodie & pulled him into a kiss, that he then promptly ended just as Callum was relaxing into it. "On yer way for lap two lover boy..."

"That's just plain cruel," Callum lamented as fe found himself shoved on his way.  
"Plenty more where that came from if ya run fast enough..." Ben shouted after him mischievously., then focused his attention on smoothing out a crease in his jacket.

"Fifteen seconds babe, we're still on for a good kiss..." Ben grinned when Callum reappeared in his line of vision.  
"Swear you're still fiddlin' the clock..." the elder man voiced in high suspicion.  
"No I ain't babe; you're just well fit," Ben beamed as he moved in for another kiss.

Callum managed to hold the fifteen second buffer steady for another five laps before it ebbed down to 10 seconds. "Maybe try stealin' a bit less air from my lungs with this kiss, yeah?" he entreated as he approached his man on the bench.

Ben chuckled heartily. "Wearin' ya out am I?" he quirked an eyebrow then smoothed a restorative kiss to his man's lips. "Now be gone with ya..." he pressed gentle palms to Calllum's chest, urging him away for another circuit.

Callum's lap times fluctuated across another six circuits or so, earning them between eight & twelve seconds of kissing each time, before the time started to slip away from him second by second over the coming circuits, to the eventual extent that at the end of each lap Ben was counting down the seconds still available for them to kiss.

"Five, four, three, two, one," he made the end of his nineteenth circuit with one precious second to spare, Ben lunging from the bench to steal an encouraging peck to his lips.

"Five, four, three, two, one...Beep," Ben admitted reluctantly at the end of the next circuit. "No kiss this time babe..."

Callum braced his hands to his knees & leant down, trying to regulate his breathing. "I'm done for..." he heaved out between laboured intakes of air. "Probably done double the runnin' time I'd been planning on, thanks to your casual timing efforts of earlier..."

Ben moved from his position on the bench to stand next to his man, placing a compassionate hand on his back.& rubbing small circles to it. "Still reckon you're well fit babe..."

Callum expelled an extended breath & gave a forlorn roll of his eyes as he righted his body position.

"So, ya ready for part two of my exercise regime babe?" Ben smiled expectantly.  
"What, there's more?" the elder man queried with widening eyes.  
"Ya know there's always more when it comes to me babe..."

Callum watched on in bemusement as his boyfriend sunk his weight to the ground & lay back against the grass. Luckily there was a frost in the air that prevented it being damp.

"Right," Ben clapped his hands together assertively. "Press ups next..."  
"Ya don't do press ups lyin' on your back Ben..." Callum found himself rolling his eyes again.  
"Er, I don't do press ups at all..." the younger man clarified with a straight face, before a mischievous smile spread across it. "You do though, & this is my rewards-based version of press ups".

"Oh god..." Callum was suddenly fearful of what the next suggestion might be.  
"You, doin' press ups; me, beneath ya, givin' out rewards...Care to join & gimme 10 to start..."

"Ben!" Callum looked around them, feeling himself flush with embarassment. Not to mention more than a little tantalisation. "We are not doin' your sexy press ups in a public park..."

Ben tilted his head at an angle & gazed up at his man devastatingly as he bit down on his lip. "Done worse in a public park, though ain't we?"

It was Callum's turn to bite down on his lip. "Not in broad daylight we ain't..." He delivered his rebuttal then turned on his heels to walk away.

Ben sat up a little to rest his weight against his elbows. "So it's a no to in the park, but a maybe to when we're back home?" he called out after his man hopefully.

Callum continued to walk on for a few strides, then stopped to look back at his boyfriend, giving him an obvious quirk of his eyebrows. "Explain to me exactly what my reward would be, & then we'll see..."


	58. Chapter 58

## Unseen scene 09/12/19

“She’s a stunner…” Callum remarked softly as he scrolled through the last couple of photos of baby Peggy on Ben’s phone, then passed it back to him.  
“Ain’t she?” Ben concurred quietly, head tucked into the nook of his man’s shoulder, their feet tangled together where they met on the coffee table in front of the sofa.   
“She’ll be just fine ya know; she’s in the best place,” the elder man soothed, in response to the news that the newborn had suffered a setback & had been moved to intensive care. “It’s in the genes ain’t it; that she’ll be a fighter…” He tickled his fingers to the other man’s scalp to indicate that he was only teasing.

Ben remained pensive, so Callum tried again at further reassurance. “And I know for a fact she’s gonna be spoilt rotten by her Uncle Ben…”  
“Ya got me there,” Ben smiled, tilting his head to press a kiss at his boyfriend’s lips. “Sorry for bringing a downer to our plans”.  
“Who says this is a downer?” Callum queried in amusement. “I love snugglin’ up together on the sofa”.

“Softie…” Ben contorted his weight a little so he could gaze upwards at his man with an affectionate smile.   
“Says the man who’s just bought his niece the biggest teddy bear the world’s ever seen!” Callum chortled, tapping a finger tenderly to the bridge of the other man’s nose. “He can’t sit in that chair all night mind; he’ll give Stu a coronary when he rolls in late…” They both glanced across at the giant stuffed bear seated in the reclining chair across the room. “He’ll have to come to bed with us for the night…”

Ben squirmed his weight upwards to press a kiss at Callum’s stubble. “Already got my own teddy bear in bed; reckon three would be a crowd, don’t you…”  
“He’ll have to sit on the bedroom floor & avert his eyes then…” the elder man laughed in return, at which they both fell silent for a while.

It was Callum who broke their reverie first. “I’m jealous actually…”  
“Eh?” Ben queried uncertainly, looking up at his boyfriend with concern.  
“Jealous of your big family & how close you all are…” Callum promptly clarified.  
“Don’t be fooled babe, we’re a livin’ nightmare most of the time,” the younger man swept a reassuring hand along his man’s thigh. “There’s always some drama or other goin’ down”. 

“You should treasure it…” Callum laid a hand on top of Ben’s. “Every bit of hustle & bustle they create. It seems so quiet here sometimes, just me & Stu…Even when Dad was kickin’ about it was lively, but only for all the wrong reasons”.

Ben’s fingers entwined reassuringly with those of his man. “Ya know you’re family, as far as me, Lex, Lo & Jay are concerned, don’t ya?”  
“That’s sweet of ya to say,” Callum reasoned cautiously.  
“Wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true…” the younger man interjected immediately. “Lexi adores ya, she’s even come up with another nickname for ya in the last few days…”

“Oh?” Callum checked uncertainly, finger circling at his man’s knuckles.  
“Yeah, she got it from the book they’ve been readin’ at school…” Ben confirmed with a fond smile.  
“Do tell then…”

Ben dragged his body weight upwards from the comfort of the chair, to rest his elbow against its back & look at his man face-to-face. “The BFG…” he let the words sink in slowly.  
“Ha,” Callum expelled sharply in amusement. “The Big, Friendly Giant; I like that…”

Ben savoured observing the glee on the man’s features, then spoke again. “Never a truer description of a person, was there?” He smiled softly. “You are a giant in physical terms to Lex, & you’re a giant of a man in every respect to me…”

They found their heads soon leaning in together for a slow, effortless kiss, & Callum could feel the beginnings of a notion swirling through his mind. Three little words he felt truly he might be able to speak in honesty to another person for the first time, but he kept them to himself, fearing it was just too soon.

As they steadily drifted apart, the romance of the moment subsided, particularly as Ben opted to throw in one of his classic one liners. “Definitely a BFG to me too babe; although I can think of a more apt F word than ‘friendly’ to use in that acronym. Not really suitable for a children’s audience though, & definitely not to be spoken in front of our teddy bear friend over there…”


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I think we could all do with some respite after tonight's canon episode, so here's the next instalment of _Ballum Unscene._
> 
> Oh but wait, the timer here has ticked over to December hasn't it, which can't exactly be described as a positive for all things Ballum. Nose dive time for Ben is imminent, but, who knows, maybe Callum's got a trick or two up his sleeve to fend that off for the short term at least...

## Continuation of scene from 12/12/19

_“Sharon’s been lyin’ to me…She’s been lyin’ to me about where she goes; she’s been lyin’ to me about what she does, & you know what it means don’t ya? It means that baby ain’t mine…”_

Ben dug in his coat pocket to retrieve his phone, which had just buzzed, as he continued to look across at his father with a mixture of bemusement & concern. He glanced down to read the message he’d received from Callum:

_Your place or mine? I owe you a set of car keys + have some serious making up to do for bailing on our afternoon plans…x_

Ben bit down on his lip at the mere insinuation; still though he thought he should do the decent thing first & check on Whitney’s welfare, given he’d last seen his boyfriend heading away from the Square on a mercy mission to save her from the evil clutches of Leo.

_Whit ok? You ok?x_

Then again, if he was doing the decent thing, Ben supposed he should also devote a bit of time to his Dad’s current predicament. “Look, I’ll get us both a drink, & then you tell me everythin’ from the beginning, yeah?” Having despatched a begrudging Phil to find a quiet table somewhere in the Vic, Ben read Callum’s reply as he waited to be served.

_She’s fine, I’m fine. No harm done…Tell you about it once I’ve made it up to you…x_

Ben glanced across at his father, who he could sense giving daggers to Sharon across the pub, then tapped out a hasty response to his boyfriend.

_It’s a whole missed afternoon you owe me, so could take quite some time to make up for…See you at mine in half an hour? Let yourself in & get comfortable if you’re there before me…x_

Snatching up their drinks from the bar, Ben made hasty progress towards his father, suddenly feeling time was of the essence. Passing the prerequisite glass of orange juice across the table to Phil, he took a swift glance at the response Callum had just sent through.

_How comfortable, exactly? x_

Ben's eyes widened at the open invitation, & he swigged down some beer from his bottle, ever aware of the rising temper in his father across the table. He slowly took a seat opposite as he tapped out a reply that was entirely at odds with the current atmosphere he was facing…Still, a guy had to have a little something to look forward to through the latest chapter of Mitchell family drama.

_See you in my bed sexy x_

Emitting a throat-clearing cough to steady himself, Ben shoved his phone in his pocket, & began to address his father. "Ok, so talk me through your thought process, because I ain't instantly seein' the connections you're makin' here... "

It was a half-hearted attempt at feigning interest at best, & was received with disapproving scorn by the ever-reddening face opposite him. Still, Ben thought to himself, give it half an hour, persuade his father it's a storm in a teacup, & then head off home for some much delayed sexy time.

\- - -

_Sexy_

That word from Ben's message repeated on overdrive through Callum's brain. It was the second time in the space of the same day Ben had used it when referring to him.

_Callum, you are brilliant, you are sexy, & I am lucky to have you... _

The trouble was that Callum still wasn't entirely convinced he gave any sort of actual portrayal of sexy, in spite of Ben's insistence he did. 

It's a word they'd exchanged between them before - & how Callum had truly meant it when using it to reference Ben -but he'd always brushed Ben's usage of it off as casual flippancy. Certainly not a defining quality of the elder man's being. It had started to feel as if the latter was the context his boyfriend had been applying it in lately though.

All of which left Callum in an uncomfortable quandary as he realised he had reached the Beale household ahead of his man. With Ben’s blessing, Callum had let himself in, finding no trace that any of the house's other occupants were in either. 

It was suddenly feeling markedly different to all of their previous rendezvous. Normally they'd fumble into the bedroom together: usually either as a tangle of bodies caught in the heat of passion, or as a hand-holding couple hanging off each other's every word. Less often, both intoxicated by alcohol & stumbling unceremoniously towards a shared deep slumber.

The prospect of Callum taking up solo residence in Ben's bedroom & waiting for his man there was a whole new ballgame. 

Callum had been feeling flirtatious during their exchange of messages, but was now feeling the pressure. What was the etiquette here? Strip yourself down & settle under the covers? Get yourself to a partial state of undress & wait casually atop the covers? Stay fully clothed & lounge seductively on the bed? He had the suspicion taking any of those options would just leave him looking awkward & uncomfortable.

Ben would be all over this sort of thing of course: most likely if he were in Callum's position, he'd strip down to his birthday suit & spread eagle himself on the bed. Completing the look most probably by cupping his chin in his hand & delivering a devastatingly seductive pout as his eagerly-awaited lover walked through the door.

Callum shook his head, knowing none of that was him. Still, he wanted to make an effort at being enticing & eager for his man. He'd entirely inadvertently shrugged off Ben's amorous attempt at seduction in the living room earlier that afternoon, so wanted to repay the compliment with interest & then some now.

Callum took a look around Ben's room, in search of the confidence & inspiration to be both true to himself & reward his man's tolerance of earlier. It can't exactly have been easy after all to stand back & watch Callum chase across town after Whitney.

Eventually, Callum's eyes settled on something idly discarded on the chair in the room. As a recollection of something Ben had said to him early on in the development of their sexual relationship formed in his mind, Callum began to realise this was something he could work with.  



	60. Chapter 60

## Unseen scene from 12/12/19

Ben walked away from the Vic a little later that evening feeling the weight of the world suddenly on his shoulders. Phil's temper had abated little for their father-son chat, with the Mitchell patriarch still conjuring up various accusations & theories surrounding his wife's presumed infidelity. 

Ben had parted from his father leaving the suggestion that the elder man sleep on it & not do anything rash that he might regret. That the entire family might regret. He could only really hope Phil would follow through with that request, although tolerance & patience weren't exactly hallmarks of the man.

Something troubling was nagging in the dark recesses of Ben's mind as he approached home, but he couldn't quite reach through the fog to claim it. There was a thought there lurking, that although the connections his father had been making about Sharon were anecdotal at best, somewhere in Ben's psyche he had reason to believe them to be true. The younger Mitchell just couldn't quite recall why that was though.

Entering the Beale house quietly through the kitchen door, Ben inhaled the welcome waft of recently applied aftershave that indicated Callum must already be there. The scent was too fresh, too vibrant, to belong to any other occupants of the house save Ben himself after all. Ian's aftershave of choice remained rooted in the eighties, holding out hope for the Lynx Effect, while Ben wasn't even convinced the workings of puberty had hit Bobby yet.

He heard his phone buzz in his pocket, temporarily seating himself at the dining room table to read the message: from his father, predictably enough.

_Want you at the house first thing. We leave no stone unturned to find the truth. _

Ben shook his head wearily, a little unsure as to why his father's marital problems were now becoming his too, then tapped out a brief response.

_Will be there tomorrow when I can. Get some sleep to clear your head. _

Ben braced his palms to the table to push his body weight back out of the chair. "Anyone home?" he called out hopefully as he began to climb the stairs.  
"Bedroom," Callum's willing clarification instantly came, accompanied by the buzz of another message coming through on Ben's phon.  
"Just gonna nip to the bathroom; two minutes’ babe..." Ben returned as he reached the landing. Fastening the lock on the bathroom door, he retrieved his phone & read his father's latest message.

_First thing tomorrow. No excuses._

Ben expelled a sigh of frustration, switched his notifications to do not disturb & stowed the phone back away in his coat pocket. He then flushed the toilet for effect & moved across to the sink to splash some water to his face. As the droplets mingled their way down his features he watched them silently in the bathroom mirror, wishing them to wash away the residual troubles his father's mood had left him with.

\- - -

Callum was still struggling with mastering the art of sexiness, moving about the bedroom, uncertain of where to put himself. Who was he trying to kid anyway: still fully clothed, he very much doubted himself to be any depiction of sexy for his man. He need barely have worried as it happened though: Ben seeming to be distracted as he walked into the bedroom.

"Hey," the younger man mustered a casual greeting as he shrugged himself from his coat & moved across the room to drape it against the back of the chair.

"Hey," Callum returned with a quizzical expression. "Everythin' alright?" he checked cautiously, observing his boyfriend's hands to grip firmly to the back of the chair, as if he were trying to centre himself.

"All good," Ben affirmed in quiet tones, head dropping to look down at the floor & hands still braced against the chair, the wind apparently taken from him. 

From his position across the room, Callum could see Ben's preoccupied expression reflected in the mirror he stood before. Flummoxed at the apparent change in demeanour of his man, both from earlier in the day & their exchange of messages, Callum moved over to join him.   
"Little Peggy's ok after her scare, ain't she?" Standing directly behind Ben, he encircled his waist with his arms & leant in close.

"Yeah, she's on the mend..." Ben assured him softly. He lifted his head, if not quite his gaze, & leant back into the taller man's embrace, eyes slipping shut as his head came to rest against Callum's collarbone. "You smell good..." Both men sensed Ben seemed to relent a little as he imbibed a long, slow breath.

Callum smiled happily to himself at the compliment, taking confidence from it & depositing several pecked kisses to Ben's temple & cheek. "And you're strangely quiet for someone who came home knowin' they're on a promise..." Callum softly teased his observation against his man's face.

Ben's eyes reopened at that, meeting the other man's entreating gaze in the mirror. Losing himself in those blue eyes alone, Ben could already feel himself beginning to soar clear of the negativity his father had impressed upon him.

"Just biding my time, ain't I?" Ben's features quirked into a smile, eyes still trained to Callum's in the mirror. "Waitin' to see exactly how ya plan on makin' it up to me..."

"How would ya like me to make it up to you?" Callum mouthed his words tight to Ben's ear, nuzzling & nipping playfully at his neckline, gaze still locked with his man's in the reflection of themselves.

"This'll do nicely for starters..." Ben smiled, raising his right arm to hook it behind himself & caress at the stubble on Callum's neck, while his eyes followed the trail the elder man's mouth was taking along his own. "Love watchin' a man at work, me..." Ben cooed appreciatively, drawing Callum's eyes back to the mirror to look into his own. 

Ben thrilled to see a darkening veil of lust was already hooding its way across the brilliant blue of Callum's eyes. He watched on in admiring silence as the taller man continued to press kisses, nips & licks to his neck & jaw, urged on by Ben's creeping fingers against his skin. 

Seeing a crimson flush of heat creeping out of his own shirt collar, ever upwards to eventually reach his neck & face, Ben decided it was time to move their play along.

"Still can't believe that Leo thought it acceptable to have ya pinned to a wall..." Ben's sudden, unexpected assertion caused Callum's eyes to flick their attention back to him. "When clearly I am the only one with the right to do such a thing..."

Ben's features erupted into a smirk, as he deftly turned to face his man, searching out his lips to instigate a searing kiss while simultaneously colliding their bodies together & fumbling Callum backwards into the nearest wall. "My privilege that, & my privilege alone..." Ben asserted into their mouths.

For the first time then, Ben actually took in his man's appearance, which had been obscured from his view until now; his eyes skimming lustfully down Callum's torso. He aborted their kiss to study his man intently, then quirked his head to one side. "Ya wearin' one of my ties?"  
Callum's tongue flicked down to quench his lower lip & he then grinned enigmatically. "Might be..."  
"Mmmm," Ben hummed his approval. "Hot that; you wearin' my clothes..."  
Callum beamed at the praise. "Had a feelin' it might do it for ya, after what ya said before about leadin' me by the tie into your boudoir.."

"Oh," Ben licked at his own lips. "It definitely does somethin' for me..." He leant upwards on tiptoes to restore their kiss, hands working to loosen the tie from Callum's neck a little. "Just don't quite know if it's the vibrant colour combo that's doin' it for me..." - Callum had combined Ben's bright red tie with his own electric blue shirt - "...Or whether it's the fact it means I can do this..."

Unknotting the tie fully, Ben manhandled it upwards until it was clear of Callum's shirt collar, then swept the length of the tie against the back of his neck at an achingly slow pace that seemed to tantalise the nerve ending of every hair on Callum's neck, until the entire tie was released into Ben's grasp.

Callum immediately sought to claim Ben's head in his hands & reconnect their kiss. The younger man's hands slipped to his boyfriend's waist meanwhile, & wrapped the tie around it, before binding it into a loose knot.

"Step this way gorgeous..." Ben implored softly, reinforcing his request with a tug at the tie. Edging away from their embrace, Ben turned, & pulled Callum along by the garment. When they reached the bed, Ben fell back onto it, still using the tie to bring Callum's weight tumbling down after him.

They had landed a little clumsily, so Callum leant back on his haunches, allowing Ben to reposition himself beneath him.  
"Stay right where you are..." Ben instructed through a breath that caught in his throat. Working efficiently, he freed the hem of Callum's shirt from his jeans, then slid the shirt's tails up higher still, until the tie was left to settle against the newly exposed flesh of Callum's waist. 

With the hum of someone thoroughly satisfied in their occupation, Ben began to tease open the buttons of Callum's shirt, releasing it fully, but leaving it in situ on the elder man's shoulders to frame his chest.

Deciding he'd enjoyed Callum's response to his earlier ploy with the tie, Ben repeated the act again, only this time undoing the knot & snaking the silk material slowly around the man's lower back. He was duly rewarded by an involuntary tremble it unleashed down Callum's spine, sending a surge of obvious pleasure through his man.

Ben smiled contentedly, & found the exact same gesture returned to him by Callum. Lifting his upper body from the mattress, Ben held his weight on his elbows & forearms. "My tie this anyway; so if ya want it back, you'll have to come & get it..." Quick as a flash he scouted backwards up the bed, his back coming to rest against the pillows. Once there, he looped the tie loosely over his own shoulders.

"Ben," Callum began gruffly. "You & I both know I could have that tie off ya in seconds if I wanted it…" He too shuffled along the mattress, straddling his legs either side of the younger man's & positioning himself to kneel at his lap.

"Give it ya best shot..." Ben grinned his challenge, just before Callum combined their mouths in a slow, tempting kiss. He let his tongue & teeth play at Ben's lips for a while.  
"I know you're tryin' to distract me..." Ben chuckled into their union. "And it ain't gonna work..."  
"Mmmm," Callum hummed his non-committal response, tongue swiping along his man's lower lip to request deeper access.

Ben acquiesced & let Callum's tongue work into his mouth, while his own hands slid their way to squeeze at the taller man's thighs.  
Callum's fingers in turn made an early exploratory attempt at reaching for the tie between them, but he found them playfully slapped away by Ben. "Gonna have to try harder than that Mr Highway..."  
Callum smiled into their kiss. "That weren't me tryin'..."

Their games continued for some time, as they took turns at stripping items of clothing from each other & caressing the skin they found beneath. The tie remained in situ, loose around Ben's shoulders, even though his shirt had now been discarded.

Callum leant back from their kiss & chuckled in amusement, nodding his head down to indicate Ben's lap. "Is that a hint?"  
Ben responded with a look of confusion, but followed his man's downward gaze & laughed himself as realisation hit: the large arrow point end of the tie was further down his torso than the shorter end, & seemed to be pointing the way to his arousal.  
"Always subtle me..." Ben grinned, crashing their lips back together. "And ya did say ya owe me..."

They both relented from their kiss again & stared into each other's eyes, Callum licking his lips in anticipation. He was starting to learn the effect that simple act alone would have on his man.  
Ben arched his head back to allow access to his neck, an invitation Callum accepted readily, applying a succession of charged nips & kisses to the stubbled skin he found there. 

"Mhm, feels good..." the younger man melted into the sensation, sinking deeper down the bed; Callum following suit as he began a trail down his man's chest & on down his sternum. As Callum's lips reached Ben's waistline & his hands began to grip at his hips, Ben's eyes drifted lazily shut, presuming to know where Callum's mouth would lay claim next.

What Ben hadn't banked on though was that it would be the arrow head of the tie that Callum would take in his mouth next, pulling back gently to tease the full length of the tie along his man's erection.

"Holy..." Ben's eyes shot open as he began to voice, then abandon, his exclamation. "Just when I think I can't get any hotter for ya, ya go & do somethin' like that! You've got one mighty fine sexy skillset goin' on there babe," he praised, a little breathless.

"Learnin' my trade from the master ain't I?" Callum beamed at the notion he'd pulled off something that was unexpectedly alluring to his man. Still though, the whole notion of sexiness felt so alien to him. Callum was more at home in the realms of humour, so decided to inject some into their sex life.

"My tie now..." he echoed Ben's earlier words, then tied the garment around his head, as if a band of honour.   
"Wow..." Ben's eyes sparkled with mirth. "Never been to bed with Rambo before..."

Callum's eyes glinted back in similar amusement. "Bet you've never had Rambo do this for ya before either..." He plunged his mouth to his boyfriend's manhood.

\- - -

Some while later, with the tie now formally knotted around Callum's neck, thanks to some attentive work by Ben, the younger man energetically rode his man's lap, chasing a simultaneous high for both of them, achieving his aim with calls of euphoria erupting from both of them.

"Wow..." Ben delivered his verdict breathlessly, still gently swaying himself onto Callum as they steadily came back down, sweat beading at their hair lines. "Sexy. As. Fuck". He delivered a kiss to his man's lips between each word, then fiddled at the knot in the tie, which had begun to work loose during their exertions.

"Might have to give ya a permanent lend of this tie babe; looks hot on ya..." He marvelled at the sight of the man's naked torso as complemented by the addition of the tie.  
"Mmmm," Callum smiled, hands still gripped to his man's backside, to which he delivered an affectionate tap. "Might have to give it a wash first after that performance..."

Ben chuckled wryly, before slipping himself from Callum, gently removing the used condom from his man as he went, tying it off & casting it away in the bin. Rolling back into close quarters at Callum's side, Ben tugged the man's body to lay down on the mattress beside him & nuzzled a tender kiss to his head. "Could get used to coming home to this each night..."

"Mmm, me too..." Callum concurred, suddenly sleepy from their exertions.  
"Ya fallin' asleep on me there hot stuff?" Ben queried softly.  
"Could be..." the lethargic response came. "Could be..."

Ben smiled contentedly, letting his head slip to rest against his man's chest. "Thought ya were gonna tell me what went down with Whitney once you'd made it up to me?"  
No response came, so Ben briefly lifted his head. "Cal?" Finding his boyfriend already gripped by sleep, Ben tugged the duvet up over them & sank his head back to Callum's chest. "Guess that'll wait 'til mornin' then..." he whispered, snuggling in tight to the man. He lay there awake for a while, enjoying the rhythmic lull of Callum's breathing beneath him. 

Just as sleep finally threatened to take him too, Ben saw the glow of his mobile phone screen illuminate his coat pocket across the room. He'd done everything in his power to shut his father's presence away from this time with Callum, but still it hadn't been enough. 

Suddenly it looked like being a long night ahead, as the lit screen began to nag at Ben's conscience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The parallel of the red tie in this chapter, with the significance of a red tie in current canon of Callum’s kidnap, is pure, absolute fluke! I wrote this chapter though a matter of days before the first spoiler picture of Callum coming face-to-face with the resurrected Keanu emerged, so was pretty astounded to see a red tie there to be honest. 
> 
> Spooky or what?! It could only have been better if Ben’s encouragement of Callum to go to his police assessment had involved Ben lending his own red tie to Callum!  



	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heck, I take it all back. Here's me dreading writing Christmas, when I suddenly realise writing current canon is going to be even harder. Ben breaking will kill me.
> 
> Still, let's go back to happier times...
> 
> ...Or. Not...

## Bridging scenes from 13/12/19 to 16/12/19

The clues had all been forming, & if he was honest with himself, Callum had seen each & every one of them; he'd just failed to piece them all together to form the bigger picture. The picture that would have warned him that Ben’s world was imploding.

It had started the very next morning, Callum waking before first light to find Ben's side of the bed empty. He'd stalled for a moment, presuming his boyfriend to have taken a visit to the bathroom, but his lack of return after a couple more minutes suggested otherwise.

Slipping into his joggers & t shirt - necessary permanent standby bedroom attire in case Lexi strayed in the night - he gingerly opened the bedroom door & crept downstairs, not wanting to wake anyone else.

Reaching the foot of the stairs, he glanced first into the gloom of the kitchen, but his attention was soon drawn to a familiar figure in the opposite direction: Ben seated in a chair in the barely-lit sitting room, dressing gown on for warmth.

Callum made his steady approach. “What you doin’ up so early?” sinking down onto the arm of the chair as Ben gave his answer. “Couldn’t sleep”. Sensing Ben's struggle, Callum had laid his hands to his man's chest & shoulders, soothing them tenderly.

“Go back to bed babe…” Ben had asserted softly, earning little but instant derision from Callum. “No point without you, is thee?” Silently appreciative of his boyfriend's solidarity & companionship, Ben had pressed a grateful kiss to his wrist, then leant his head into his arm.

They had remained there in stasis for several unbroken minutes, Callum's hand reassuringly playing at Ben's chest. The other man's head staying planted to the older man's arm, his eyes reluctantly drifting shut.

"Shove up..." Callum had eventually prompted, causing his partner's eyes to reopen questioningly. He'd found the answer to his question in Callum's eyes though, edging his weight forward in the chair to allow Callum's limbs the room to slip into the seat behind him. Ben had then nestled himself back to rest between his boyfriend's legs. 

The pair had remained there in silence, illuminated only by the lights of the Christmas tree, until daylight finally dawned. No words were exchanged between them, each understanding actions were often more powerful than words.

\- - -

The second clue had come that evening, Callum observing his boyfriend from across the flat’s dining table. “Ya gonna eat that, or just chase it round your plate all evenin’?”  
Ben shook his head, as if banishing thoughts. “Sorry, it’s delicious, I just can’t do it justice…”  
“Ya feelin’ alright?” Callum appeared concerned. “You ain’t comin’ down with somethin’ are ya?”  
“Don’t think so,” Ben attempted reassurance with a soft smile. “Just tired I reckon…”

“You were up early this mornin’,” Callum corroborated, his eyes narrowing to study his man’s face just in case he was missing something.   
“As were you, given your refusal to go back to bed…” Ben reminded him sagely.  
“No interest in bein’ in bed if you ain’t there with me,” Callum smiled, nudging their feet together beneath the table.

Ben relented a little at that, the tension in his shoulders dropping slightly. For the first time since they’d taken their seats to eat the meal Callum had so lovingly prepared, he presented his fork to his plate with purpose. “There’s no way I ain’t gonna at least try to eat this; it is your fabled chicken pasta after all…”

Callum appreciated the sentiment. “Precisely how long has it taken for me to actually cook this for ya?” he chuckled, making a subtle reference to historic failed dates.  
“Too long,” Ben grinned. “Got here in the end though, didn’t we?”

Callum reached across the table to take his partner’s hand in his. “I’d happily cook this for ya every night if you’d let me…”  
“Careful now babe,” Ben laughed, his thumb drawing circles against the other’s man’s grip. “Might be turnin’ yourself into a bit of a domestic goddess on the quiet…”  
“Nah,” Callum shook his head defiantly. “Only one divine bein’ at this table & it ain’t me”. His eyes seemed to sparkle with an emotion the younger man couldn’t quite interpret.   
“Not from where I’m sittin,’” Ben disputed softly.

They shared an indulgent smile across the table, each then taking another forkful of the meal from their plates: Callum’s suspended in mid-air as he offered up a suggestion. “Early night tonight? Snuggle up & let you catch up on some of that missed sleep?”  
“Sounds perfect,” Ben agreed with a nod. “Not sure what I’ve done to deserve ya, but I am mighty grateful I’ve got ya”.

\- - -

Clue three had raised its head during the course of that night. They’d been in bed by 7.30pm, cuddled in close to one another, drifting lazily between idle chat & sleep. Abnormally for them, there was no suggestion of anything vaguely sexual taking place. Still very much in the honeymoon period of their relationship, to this point they had been hell bent on exploring & claiming one another’s bodies at every opportunity. 

Callum was content enough regardless; he’d had more sex in the space of the last two months than in all his earlier years combined after all. Something that had previously been such an anathema to him now formed part of his lifeblood. He guessed that even somebody like Ben, whose sex drive was infamous, occasionally needed some downtime though. 

In a peculiar way, snoozing & snuggling together in the close proximity offered up by Callum’s smallish bed felt more intimate than anything else they had done together. It also meant though that Callum was more readily aware of Ben’s heightened restlessness throughout the night. He’d remained quiet & stoic throughout, focusing solely on holding the younger man firm in his arms, all the while withstanding the listless thrashing of his lower limbs, & wondering what the cause of it was.


	62. Chapter 62

## Unseen scene 16/12/19

Ben came to the next morning at the sensation of Callum pressing a gentle kiss goodbye to his cheek. He knew it was a farewell kiss without needing to look, because this was a familiar weekday habit now: Callum up extra early to complete a training run ahead of his day’s work; Ben left to luxuriate in bed a little longer. The younger man having only managed to dissuade the elder from perpetuating the scenario on weekend mornings, when they still took the chance of lazy lie-ins together. 

More often than not Ben would already be awake as Callum dressed for his morning run, giving a diligent commentary on exactly why his boyfriend should return to their warm, cosy bed rather than pound the lonely streets of Walford. Today though, was different. Today Ben kept his eyes closed & pretended he was still asleep; it just felt easier that way.

His father’s paranoia over Sharon’s infidelity, alongside of his thirst to avenge it, was increasingly consuming Ben: an ever-present itch at his eyes, a constant crawling against his skin, a shadow looming across his being. Everything that was light, bright & wonderful in Callum was at risk of being eclipsed by something altogether darker, & Ben so badly didn’t want that.

Having Callum in his life, & being part of Callum’s life, was like existing in a little haven from the madness, or more precisely, from the Mitchell madness. When he was with Callum, little of that world had ever threatened to encroach so far, but the sands were now shifting beneath him, & Ben could feel the presence of his father ever looming. His time with Callum, hitherto so light & carefree, was starting to be infiltrated by claustrophobic concerns. 

Ben had always fought so hard to keep Callum clear of the turbulence & maintain their own cocoon of bliss. It wasn’t that he’d kept his boyfriend completely clear from his family life – his presence had been welcomed & embraced by the Beale side of things. Lola, Jay & Lexi too. But Ben had always taken care to hold his father’s side at arm’s length.

Now though, Ben could feel the walls closing. His father’s constant nagging phone calls & texts interrupting precious time shared with Callum; the brooding darkness of his father’s moods penetrating Ben’s dreams at night. Where of recent times he’d dreamt of Callum & happy times, his dreams when they came now were of much darker substance.

The night just gone had been littered with such dreams, when sleep had finally deigned to come, Ben waking with a sudden jolt on more than one occasion: Callum seemingly soundly asleep throughout, although the younger man had the sense of the elder’s hold becoming a little firmer around him each time it happened. While Ben had taken solace from that comfort in the dark of night, he couldn’t seek the same in the daylight. He wouldn’t allow Callum to be tarnished by the demons he himself lived among.

So Ben had made his choice in the early hours of that morning, as he had concentrated hard on the rhythmic reassurance of the rise & fall of the man’s chest against his back…

Callum, like Lexi, was the brightness in his world that he didn’t ever want to see extinguished beneath the harsh reality of life as a Mitchell. Ben would keep the two worlds separate at any cost. It was absolutely for Callum’s own good, but Ben’s as well, because he couldn’t help but wonder, as he strained one eye open to watch his boyfriend’s silent retreat from the bedroom that morning, just what he’d have if he didn’t have him.


	63. Chapter 63

## Seen & unseen scenes of 16/12/19 merging

Ben’s finger tapped pensively at his mobile phone as he considered whether to return the latest missed call from his father. He was still in the protective bubble that was Callum’s flat, stirring mindlessly at a cup of coffee as he awaited his boyfriend’s return from his run. If Callum were there now, he could so easily lure Ben from these tortuous thoughts, so easily distract him from reality for a while. 

Callum’s flat was fast becoming the one place Ben could truly feel secure & grounded: his father’s house in comparison was a hotbed of angst; even in the Beale residence people constantly came & went, never bothered to knock, barged in without so much as an apology.  
Here, in Callum’s flat, he could just…_be._

That was partly the reason he was so reticent to return his father’s phone call at this moment. He didn’t want to give Phil any sort of access to the one place Ben still sought & found sanctuary in. This flat was the place where Ben gave the best of himself; the place where he stored his daughter’s growing pile of Christmas presents; the place where he felt love & gave love, even if he wasn’t yet able to admit it. 

This place, he couldn’t, wouldn’t, allow Phil into.

“Mornin!” Callum bustled into the flat, a bundle of exhilaration.  
“Whoa; too bright…” Ben gave his cautious response.  
“Seven-minute mile; that’s a PB! If I carry on like this, I’m gonna smash that bleep test!” The elder mean beamed, but was then reminded of his man’s current unease. “You was kickin’ me all night; what’s the matter?”

Ben remained momentarily pensive, then shook himself from his disquiet, unwilling to let his troubles fall on Callum. “What?” He swiftly covered his tracks. “What, you mean you could sleep? With them two at it all night?”  
Callum expelled a soft chuckle.  
“Although to be fair to your brother, I didn’t realise a human could produce such sounds…”  
“Oh,” Callum grimaced affectionately, “Stop, I don’t wanna know…”  
“Oh, come ‘ere, ya big grizzly bear…” Ben mimicked the words he had been subjected to through the walls during the night just gone, earning a smile of glee from his man.

They fell into a fumbled smooch, that Ben readily enjoyed with a hum. “Mmmm…”  
“Oh, get off, I’m all sweaty…” Callum began to protest.  
“Well, to be fair, if ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em…” Ben enthused, threatening to reanimate their kiss, before pushing his man away again. “Now, go get in that shower…”, eliciting a laugh from them both…

As his bravado slipped again with Callum’s retreat to the bathroom, Ben trained a hand to his own furrowed brow & rubbed at it. He needed to clear the unsettling fog from his mind; not let his father’s venom infiltrate him any further. A plan had formed in his mind during the night while he had found sleep impossible, & he would take it to his father when he was good & ready, rather than when the next summons came. 

First he needed to reconnect with what truly mattered to him. Tugging up the collar of the dressing gown he was wearing – Callum’s dressing gown, liberated from the wardrobe while his boyfriend had been out on his training run – Ben deeply inhaled from it the lingering scent of his man for a moment. Feeling instantly rescued from the brooding darkness that had threatened to engulf him, he headed in the direction of the bathroom himself. “Need someone to scrub yer back babe?”

There was a momentary shuffling sound from the other side of the door, before it was flung open with quite some force. “God, I thought you’d never ask…” Callum grinned broadly, stripping the grey hoodie from his skin as an invitation.  
Ben didn’t need asking twice, crossing the threshold & shoving the door firmly closed behind him, taking extra care to fasten the lock now Stuart & Rainie were now back as a fixture in the flat. 

Callum instantly swept them up into an embrace, activating a welcome deep kiss between them. “Missed ya…” His words vibrated against Ben’s lips.  
“Missed ya too…” Ben hummed back. “Although you do realise you were only gone for about half an hour?”  
“Still too long in my book,” Callum purred. “And don’t think I ain’t noticed you’re in my dressing gown, so clearly you couldn’t bear to be apart from me either…”

Ben lingered in their kiss for a moment before responding. “Guilty as charged; although you’ve gotta admit I look pretty sensational in it, don’t I?”  
“No comment,” Callum continued with the police terminology. “Although I will admit I think it would look rather fine strewn across this bathroom floor right now…”  
“You’ll get no complaints from me…” Ben agreed, already untying the gown’s belt from his waist. 

“Mmmm,” Callum’s hands moved effortlessly to Ben’s shoulders, tenderly slipping the gown from his person. “Hope I don’t ever give you cause for complaint…” Nowadays in their relationship, he actively sought praise.  
“As if I could ever complain about you babe…” Ben began to scatter nips & kisses to his boyfriend’s jaw line, his hands making short work of manoeuvring him out of his jogging bottoms. Neither man’s boxer shorts remained in situ for many seconds longer.

Callum’s hands clasped to Ben’s face, regathering their mouths for a sensational kiss, their bodies writhing with sudden need.  
“Wow…” Ben eventually, a little breathlessly, retreated from their kiss. “To think I only came in here to scrub your back…”  
Callum chuckled to himself. “Care to join me…” He nodded towards the shower, pulling at the cord hanging from the ceiling to switch the flow of water on.

“How hot we gonna have it?” Ben queried teasingly with his trademark innuendo.  
“Hot as you can handle it?” Callum suggested in return.  
“Mmmm,” Ben’s fingers played at his man’s chest. “I do like it exceptionally hot…” He gestured for the taller man to lead the way into the shower, accessible only by climbing into the bath.

“Not a chance…” Callum countered. “You’ve got previous form when it comes to taking me unawares when I’m clambering into the bath, so you can get in first this time”. The memory of the younger man pinching his arse as they shared a bath at the Mitchell residence was still fresh in his memory. He returned the favour this time as he watched Ben climb into the bath. “Mmmm, peachy…”

“You’d better believe it babe,” Ben, predictably enough, delighted in having his arse tweaked. “You coming in, or do I have to come back out & fetch ya?” He turned round to look at Callum as he spoke, wrapping his arms loosely around his shoulders.  
“Hey, look at that,” Callum leant in for a kiss. “That’s finally sorted out our height difference…”  
“Uncalled for…” Ben nipped a playful bite to the older man’s lower lip.  
“Can make it up to you, I bet…” Callum asserted confidently., tracing a finger down his man’s torso while he too clambered to stand in the bath.

With their bodies reunited in closer proximity, Ben slipped his hands to Callum’s waist, reunited their lips & tugged them both backwards until they were under the shower. Callum lifted his hands to the younger man’s head, smoothing back his already drenched hair. He then relocated a forefinger to press it to his lover’s mouth, his own slipping to deposit a series of hot kisses to his neck. “This one’s on me baby; you just relax…”

Callum wasn’t stupid; he could feel the tension consuming his boyfriend at present; one sleepless night, followed by one restless night, told him something in the equilibrium of Ben’s world wasn’t right. Then there was the fact he was trying to conceal it from Callum. All of which probably meant he was having a minor crisis of confidence in his ability to change his ways. It was time for a bit of positive reinforcement from the older man.

Ben accepted the assertion that he should let go & submit with surprising good grace, leaning his head up & back, allowing both the water to cascade over his face & granting Callum’s mouth readier access to his neck. He let his eyes drift shut & focused in on the sensation of Callum’s lips, teeth & tongue grazing their way down, ever further down, his body.

As he felt Callum take him in his mouth, Ben let out in involuntary gasp, acknowledging the sudden heat enveloping him made him feel like he was home. This sensation wasn’t going to last for an extended period, they both already knew: there was an urgency to Callum that neither was certain they’d experience since that first time in the park – even in their most primal moments since. Ben, similarly, was in no mood for seductive foreplay; needing instead the instant satisfaction of their union. 

Ben grasped for whatever traction he could find on the bathroom wall: first the tiles, then the shower curtain. Finding neither offered him suitable balance, he slipped a hand to Callum’s already bobbing neck, finally laying it to rest at his hairline. There was no toying with the strands of hair he found there this time; instead his fingers pressed firmly, insistently, leaving blotchy red indentations on the other man’s skin. Ben wasn’t proud: he just needed Callum to get him off, release him from the prison of his thoughts. 

A series of rasping groans & grunts began to fall from Ben’s throat, met by hums of encouragement from Callum, who used his free hand to squeeze at his man’s balls. The release was imminent, they both knew, from the spontaneous tightening of Ben’s thigh muscles; no verbal warning to that effect needed to be issued, nor was there time for it to be, as Ben erupted down Callum’s throat, emitting a deep roar of satisfaction in accompaniment. 

The younger man took a moment to compose himself, his eyes remaining closed & his head still tipped back, before he finally stole himself to look down at Callum, whose eyes met his instantly, rewarding Ben with a scandalous grin, while his tongue lapped away the last of the cum from his lips. 

“Did that work for you?” Callum continued to smile, rising steadily back to his feet, his fingers tracing a path upwards along Ben’s sternum.  
Ben expelled a long, steadying breath. “That worked for me more than you will ever know…” He tugged his man into a gratifying kiss. “Thank you…” he moaned breathlessly into his mouth. “Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

Callum lingered in their kiss for a while, then raised his hands to cup at either side of Ben’s face. “What was it ya said to me a couple of weeks ago? It ain’t exactly a hardship…” he unleashed a smile packed full of warmth & sincerity. Sure, he could just ask Ben what was wrong in his world, but sometimes actions could speak just as loudly. Anything he could do to ease his man’s mind, he would. “Ya want me to wash your hair for ya?” He ran an enticing hand through Ben’s water-drenched locks.

Ben permitted himself a chuckle. “This your obsession with my hair comin’ out again?” He leant upwards & pecked a tender kiss to Callum’s lips.  
“Nah…” Callum assured him. “Just don’t reckon you can reach the shampoo bottle from down there…” He couldn’t resist another tease at their height difference, as he reached up to retrieve the shampoo from the top of the shower.  
“Totally uncalled for…” Ben grumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll acknowledge dressing gown gate here & now before any of the readership do – clearly the dressing gown Ben was wearing in this scene was the same he’d been wearing in the Beales’ house the week before. I just can’t entertain the notion of Ben trundling back & forth between beds across the Square taking his dressing gown with him!
> 
> It worked rather nicely for my narrative purposes that it’s Callum’s he was wearing here, so I wrote it that way!  
Adorable, caring Callum meanwhile really is throwing everything in his arsenal at Ben to keep his man from going under, isn't he?  



	64. Chapter 64

## Unseen scene of 16/12/19

"It's been a fun evenin', ain't it?" Callum offered his easy observation as he & Ben ambled along hand in hand, several paces behind Lola & Jay, the latter of whom was carrying a sleeping Lexi over his shoulder. The excitement of their family outing to the Winter Wonderland having suddenly caught up with the little girl. 

Ben smiled fondly. "Yeah, yeah it has". His eyes fixed adoringly to his sleeping daughter.  
"We should do this sort of thing again soon, the five of us," Callum volunteered boldly. "It's cute, seein' your little family unit together".

"Told ya the other day didn't I?" Ben squeezed his fingers tighter to those of the other man. "You're a part of that unit too". The younger man was feeling buoyed by the evening's festivities; now increasingly convinced that his compartmentalisation of the different facets of his life could work for everyone. Lexi & Callum being his warm, stable environment, untouched by & unknowing of Phil's shady dealings.

"Ya know, actually, why does this have to end now?" In one of his occasional decisive flurries, Ben turned Callum to face himself & pause their movements. "Lo...Jay..." the younger man called out after their companions. "D'ya mind if me & Cal take an extra tour of the fair, while you put little'un to bed? Don't take four of us, does it..." He directed an unwavering smile at his boyfriend as he spoke.

Jay turned back to scrutinise them. "So long as ya are goin' back to the fair & what ya just said ain't some kind of euphemism..."  
"Oi, leave 'em be will ya?" Lola interjected giving him a dig in the ribs. "You two go back & have some fun; we've got little missy here covered".

Ben greeted their approval with boisterous intent, bustling over to them, Callum watching on. "Lo, you're the best, Luv ya..." He planted a smooched kiss to her cheek, then moved on to his brother. "Jay, you're a legend. Luv ya". This time he planted a demonstrative kiss to the man's forehead.

Lastly, he turned his attention to his daughter. "Sleep tight little one. Daddy loves ya... " Fiddling his fingers through her hair to uncover her face, he laid a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Cheers guys, we owe ya one..." With that he made his move back to Callum, who had observed the exchange with an adoring smile.

"How about it then sexy? Fancy an adults only tour of the fair. Just you & me..." Ben grinned excitedly.  
"Sure do," Callum chuckled readily, offering a wave to their companions. "Night all..."

"Night..." the chorus of goodbyes echoed around the Square, Ben then taking Callum's hand in his & the pair of them running off into the night like a pair of giggling teenagers.

Jay and Lola watched on affectionately, the former letting out a contented sigh as he looked across at his girlfriend. "D'ya reckon he's told Callum yet?"  
Lola rested her head to her boyfriend's free shoulder. "What, that he loves him?" she queried readily.  
"Yep..." Jay dealt a brief kiss to her forehead.  
"He certainly should'a done, cos it's so blatantly obvious that's Ben Mitchell in love right there," she affirmed without hesitation, then returning a kiss in her boyfriend's direction.

"Then again," she sighed, "he probably ain't said if for the exact same reason: because he's Ben Mitchell in love, & we all know that means the old self-destruct button could go off at any minute..."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows at the assertion. "Let's hope not hey; for both their sakes..." At that, he snapped from his ponderings. "Right little one, let's get you home..."


	65. Chapter 65

## Unseen scene of 16/12/19

They'd gravitated to a park bench eventually, with their haul of sweets obtained from the various stalls of the Winter Wonderland, & were now lucky dipping their way through the bag, feeding the contents to one another. 

Callum slipped a flying saucer onto Ben's awaiting tongue & watched his man delight in the melting fizz of sherbet in his mouth.  
"Ya wanna share in the tongue-tingling action?" Ben grinned, leaning in with the unspoken suggestion of a kiss, which his man promptly acquiesced to.

"Mmm," Callum laughed when they pulled away, dabbing a finger to the corner of his mouth to dislodge a bit of sherbet from there. "I'll take a sherbet snog from you any day in preference to one of your overly salty chip shop snogs!"

"You love each & every one of my snogs, & we both know it!" Ben grinned, his hand delving into the bag to retrieve the next sweet. "Oh wow," he smirked on inspecting the small box of sweets he'd just picked out. "Popping candy; now that really will make our next snog zing!" He ripped the top from the box eagerly as his eyes glinted in his boyfriend's direction. "Ya want some?"  
"Sorry," Callum grinned, giving a lick of his lips. "We stil talkin' 'bout the sweets, or..."

Callum held out one of his hands for Ben to pour some of the candy into, while the younger man chuckled quietly. "To think you used to be such a shy, reserved kinda guy".  
The elder man simply responded with a wry shake of his head, before leaning it back to tip the sweets from his hand to his mouth. They began to crackle & burst in the instant they reacted with his saliva, prompting a grin to erupt across his features.

Ben was already mid lip bite at the temptation alone, as he flung his hands to his man's jacket & tugged him forward for a searching kiss. "Come 'ere..." They didn't relent until Ben had stolen some of the popping candy into his own mouth & its explosions had fully subsided.

"Oh god, that is obscene!" Callum laughed at the sensation they had just shared, his tongue working over his teeth to dislodge errant bits of candy that had become stuck during their kiss.  
"And ya loved every second of it!" Ben grinned enthusiastically in return.

Callum stayed quiet then, giving earnest consideration to the other man's features. "Wish I'd known all it needed was a £2 bag of sweets to bring that smile of yours back into play".

Ben's eyes locked with his to form a quizzical enquiry, but the younger man swiftly retreated from it, already knowing what Callum was getting at. He knew the elder man had recognised the tension & strain in him of the last few days, & knew he owed him an attempt at acknowledgement. "Ain't really the sweets that have put the smile on my face though, is it? More likely the company...."

Callum was sensing a relative ease in Ben's aura, so decided to press ahead with the question he'd been wanting to ask for days. "So what's been gettin' to you lately?"

Ben sighed heavily; a smokescreen for the diversionary tactic he was about to employ. For Callum's own good. "Ya ever tried bein' the father of a seven-year-old in the run up to Christmas?"

Callum eyed his boyfriend a little suspiciously, but seemed to accept his explanation. "Can't say I've had the honour," he winced, as if apologetically.

"It's a full-time job keepin' up with her Christmas list, which is more like an outlandish ransom demand if I'm honest!" Ben gave his worldly-wise description. "Then there's her social diary, the school events, the general over-bubbling excitement..."

Ben didn't exactly take pride in using his daughter as his cover story, but felt he had little choice. He hoped he could get Callum's understanding without needing to over egg the pudding. He glanced up to check how his explanation was being received. "It just gets a bit over-bearing sometimes, ya know..."

Callum let out a breath of relief that there wasn't something more serious to it. He shuffled his weight along the bench & wrapped an arm around Ben's shoulder. "Ya only have to ask, if you want the load shared..."

"Sounds so ridiculously trivial now I've said it out loud..." Ben sighed, leaning into his man's embrace. "I'll get over myself in a day or two; all be back to normal..."  
Callum couldn't help but chortle affectionately. "I ain't so sure Ben Mitchell will ever get over himself..."

Ben responded with a whimsical look that confirmed his acceptance of his man’s assertion to be true, then quirked an expressive eyebrow. “You, however, are welcome to get over me any time ya like…All. Over. Me…”

Callum gave a raise of his own eyebrows, then ran the palms of his hands along his thighs before standing up decisively. “In which case, what we even still doin’ out here?” he grinned infectiously. “Your place or mine?”  
“Mine…” Ben shoved the remnants of the bag of sweets into his coat pocket, then stood to claim his boyfriend’s hand. “Quicker to get to mine, which means quicker to get to bed…”

They made flustered haste across the Square, slowed only by snatched kisses here & there, both buoyed not just by their sugar rush but equally the promise of what was to come. As they plundered up the stairs to Ben’s room, both a little giddy, the younger man leading the way & setting the pace for the elder, Callum reached into the inner lining of his own jacket pocket & retrieved something from it, unbeknown to Ben.

It was only as Ben turned back to look at Callum once he’d opened the bedroom door that he saw the surprise awaiting him: his man having slipped on the comedy elf ears he’d won at the fair much earlier in the evening.

“Oh. My. God!” Ben near collapsed into a fit of giggles, then surged their bodies together. “I have my very own naughty little elf…” He wasted no time in engaging a hungry kiss, backing himself across the threshold, taking Callum along with him. “Or maybe I should say not so little…” he smirked into their kiss, turning their combined bodies around so he could shove the door shut with his foot. "Just be real careful where ya stick those pointy ears babe; don't want 'em damaging the crown jewels..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you've probably noticed by now that I like to depict tidemarks in my fic, defining where one phase of the boys' relationship ends, & reluctantly I have to say the end of this chapter marks the end of Bumps in the Road, so I hope you've all feasted on this one last instalment of their playfulness for a while...
> 
> I think the title for phase three will have to be...
> 
> Rejection & Dejection
> 
> Sniff. Sob.
> 
> I hope you will stick with me on the ride through troubled times...Trust that just occasionally I'll find a way to lighten the mood, or throw a little something unexpected in...


	66. Chapter 66

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19; Merges into actual scene

Ben to-ed & fro-ed in the dark street beneath Callum's flat, desperately seeking the composure he needed to step over the threshold. There above him, mere metres away, was his solace & his sanctuary, but Ben couldn't, wouldn't, take the wreckage of his day through that door with him. 

He needed time to tidy away into the darkest recesses of his mind the remnants of a day he'd rather forget, before he could step into the warm glow of light towering above him... 

Jack, evidently a wronged man, was back safely in his house, battered & bruised, but alive at least. His children blissfully unaware of the torture he'd endured at the hands of Phil. 

Ben shook his head violently, trying to dislodge tangled thoughts of Lexi from within that scenario. Of the times he himself had stumbled back home cut & bloodied by battle.

He shut that thought down & swept it away, moving onto the next thing he needed to process instead.

Keanu. Finally the grease monkey had done something of partial worth in Ben's eyes, earning a brief acknowledgement as such from the blood Mitchell. 

There was still a burning distrust there though; a sense that Keanu simply wasn't good enough for Louise, let alone association with the Mitchell name. Ben would grudgingly accept his bit part in the day's proceedings, but keep him shut out from future dealings…

Ben set about another brisk pace of the street, mind still working in furious overtime to absorb everything from the day.

Sharon: the root cause of this angst. Wrapping her Christmas presents, parading her baby bump about the Square, evidently oblivious that her secret was out. 

Ben shook his head in disdain at her actions. She wasn't worthy of his consideration; a timely reminder of that served by his phone pinging with a message from Callum:

_Flat door's on the latch so you can let yourself in when you get here x_

Ben resolved in that moment: he was already eating too much into precious time with Callum as it was; he wouldn't waste another second's thought on Sharon.

_Be there in 5. Promise x_

There, Ben thought as he stowed his phone back away in his pocket. He was a man of his word & didn't break promises, so he would be with Callum in five minutes, come what may. 

There was just one last person he needed to stow securely away in his psyche for the night, then he could let himself _be_ again...

Phil.

The father that Ben had just removed a bottle of maximum proof vodka from the shaking hands of. Furious, wretched shaking hands that were seconds from launching the Mitchell patriarch into alcoholic oblivion for good.

The terror of realisation for Ben that he either conspire to murder or give wilful consent for his own father to drink himself into an early grave.

For Ben, the choice was never in doubt: in spite of his own misgivings & struggles with his father over the years, he couldn't consign him to such a fate. 

Not because of any bond between them, nor because of any guilt Ben might or might not feel. But because of family loyalty: to Louise, to Peggy, to Lexi. The torrid reality of Phil's alcoholism wasn't something Ben ever wanted them to truly realise.

He reached into his coat pocket & brought the vodka bottle into vision; a sigh of relief escaping his lips that he had managed to liberate the offending item from his father's possession.

Unscrewing the lid, causing that most distinctive of rattles, he tipped the neck of the bottle towards the ground & watched the liquid flow its way down to the drains.

With the final dregs of a torrid day seeping away beneath him, & secure in the knowledge he'd done all he could for his father on this day, Ben finally felt cleansed. Partially re-sealing lid to bottle, he discarded it in a bin outside Callum's flat, then unobtrusively let himself in.

With every step climbed on the stairs, he felt mind, body & soul relent a little, emerging eventually into the warm comfort of his boyfriend's flat. 

He allowed himself a sobering intake of the calming air, relieved to finally be back in his place of unquestioning safety & sanctuary. At last, he could just _be_ again, cut free from the horrors he'd seen. 

"What. A. Day..."


	67. Chapter 67

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19

If there was one thing Callum Highway wouldn't ever allow himself to become, it was reactive, impetuous, instantaneously judgemental. Not like Jonno Highway; not like Phil Mitchell... 

Allowing Ben to nestle into his side, he reassuringly ran a hand through his man's hair, trying not to steal a further glance at the prominent blood stain on his shirt.

_"You know me so well..."_

Ben's most recent words played on repeat through Callum's mind. He wanted to believe that assertion, truly he did, but there was a disconnect between what his heart & his head were currently telling him. This man seeking refuge in his arms was hiding a harsh reality behind his glinting eyes.

"You gonna do the honours babe?" Ben lazily traced a forefinger along his man's thigh.  
"Eh?" Callum responded, entirely distracted  
"Ya gonna get that Chinese food on order?" the younger man clarified.  
"Yeah, can do, if ya pass up me phone..."

Ben glanced about them, realising his boyfriend's phone was on the coffee table in front of them. Leaning his weight forward, he picked up the phone & passed it to Callum, whose eyes steadfastly tried to ignore the blood stain as it became momentarily more visible.

Ben let out a contented sigh as his head then returned to resting against his man. He cherished this feeling of being so at home. When they shut the door to the outside world, & all they had to focus on was each other, Ben felt his life worries steadily ebb away.

Callum looked through the apps on his phone to select the one for takeaway food deliveries. "Anythin' particular ya fancy?" he prompted softly.

Ben looked up to flash an engaging smile at his man, giving unspoken clarification that it was Callum he truly fancied, then placed his hand to that of the elder man to draw it & the phone down to a position he could peruse it from. 

As Callum held the phone steady, Ben perched his fisted hand atop Callum's & used his thumb to scroll through the set menu options. When he found the one he thought suited best, he highlighted it on the screen then pushed the phone back towards Callum. "What d'ya reckon to that one?"

"Looks good..." Callum agreed. "Consider it ordered..."  
"Mmm," Ben hummed appreciatively. "A Chinese set menu & time spent with the hottest man in town. The gods are truly smiling down on me..."

Callum sat quiet, feeling the magnetic force of Ben Mitchell starting to draw him in. There could be an entirely rational, entirely plausible, explanation for the events of Ben's day. He would not let himself jump to any conclusions.

Callum let his chin drop to his man's hair, wanting to drink in a reminder of the essence of this man who was the world to him. He could look beyond the superficial when it came to him: all was not always as it seemed, after all.

He was greeted though by a most unwelcome scent that brought an instantaneous shock to his senses. "You stink of petrol..."

He didn't miss the momentary flash of vulnerability that shot across Ben's features at his words. As quickly as it came, it went though, covered up by an expression more neutral.

"Got dragged into a job at the Arches, didn't I..."

Callum felt the uncertainty rise within again, but tried to play it down. "What, in your shirt & smart trousers?"  
"Under me sexy overalls, yeah..." Ben instantly clarified.   
"Why don't ya grab a shower... " Callum suggested. 'Delivery app reckons the food won't arrive for another 20 minutes..."

Ben tipped his head upwards to look up hopefully at his man. "Ya gonna join me?"  
"Reckon we might get too distracted to hear the delivery driver knockin' if I get in that shower too..." A soft chuckle slipped from Callum's lips.

"Spoilsport..." Ben chastised in jest, returning his weight to the vertical & indulging the softest of kisses between them. "Yer right though: probably should hit the shower & change into somethin' else. Don't wanna ruin one of me best shirts by gettin' a food stain on it..."

Callum's mouth all but dropped open, aghast at the cruel irony of what his partner had just unwittingly said. Luckily, his reaction went unnoticed by Ben, who was already on his way to the bathroom. "I’ll leave the door unlocked babe, just in case you change yer mind..."


	68. Chapter 68

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19

Ben stood beneath the flow of the shower, watching the last of the shampoo suds disappear down the plug hole, & cursing his carelessness under his breath. 

He should have realised the stench of petrol would have transferred from Jack to him as he shepherded the injured man safely back home. 

He should have anticipated the risk that sidling in close to Callum would lead the elder man to smell the foreign substance about his person.

Ben had been so consumed by the urge, the need, to get back to the security offered by Callum that he'd inadvertently nearly blown the whole thing apart. Thank heaven for small mercies that he'd mustered up a cover story quickly enough for Callum not to suspect.

Still, he'd vowed not to infiltrate Callum's glorious world with his familial troubles, & had just come perilously close to doing so. He needed to realign himself to Callum's goodness of spirit; reclaim his skin & scalp from the petrol it had been tarred by.

Reaching out again for Callum's shampoo, he squeezed a generous amount of it into his hand, then worked the liquid into a furious lather throughout his hair: desperate to remove every last trace of the day.

\- - -

Callum sat lightly drumming his fingers against the arm of the sofa. With the television now switched off, the only sound was that of flowing water emerging from the bathroom as Ben continued his shower. 

There were secrets being guarded by the younger man, that much was clear. What Callum couldn't quite compute though was whether the clues he'd seen in isolation this evening added up to the one big thing he feared, or whether he'd even be questioning them in this way had he not seen Ben with a beaten & bloodied Jack earlier in the day.

The blood stain on his shirt: Callum's default response to that would be concern for Ben's own welfare. He'd known instantly though it to be the blood of another man.

The petrol fumes in his hair: Callum didn't want to dwell on what their presence might mean. On any other day though he'd have had little cause, if any, to be concerned about them.

There was a look in Ben's eyes too: a distance, as if a protective sheen sat over them. It made Callum wonder what those eyes had seen during the day, & why Ben was hiding it from him now…

At mention of a Chinese meal, when their eyes had fully connected for the first time, Callum had seen those eyes relent momentarily, into something softer, more open, but that moment had immediately passed…

His fingers continued to drum, as his eyes trained themselves on Ben's coat, left casually on the kitchen counter. That in itself was unusual: Ben usually hung his coat with precision; tonight though he had abandoned it casually, as if his mind was elsewhere.

_One-two-three-four_: the fingers of Callum's hand beat impatiently one after the other against the sofa's arm in a syncopated rhythm as he did battle with his conscience. 

_One-two-three-four;One-two-three-four..._

Finding a sudden resolve, Callum rose from his seat, paused to check the continuing flow of shower water, then strode across the room, about to enter into something he didn’t take lightly.


	69. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we're now closer, ever closer, to the break up, I will be honest & admit this next bit of canon has been my toughest writing challenge to date...
> 
> Not because it's angsty - love a bit of angst between the boys every now & then - or even because it led to that sad split, but because I again found canon quite disjointed: from Callum first seeing the blood stain on Ben's shirt, every scene featuring them up until the split felt really difficult to pinpoint in respect of their individual moods & emotions.
> 
> I think maybe the whole disjointed narrative was intentional, to display the battle they were both facing internally, but my god it has made it difficult to pull something together here!
> 
> So, I've taken a punt & written scenes I think are true to the characters - Ben still seeking what comfort & salvation he can with Callum; Callum fighting hard to keep the real Ben - his Ben - in focus, despite obvious misgivings to the contrary.
> 
> The next sequence of chapters may well seem equally disjointed as canon narrative therefore - I felt the only way to write it was by contrasting good, effortless times between them with times of confrontation.
> 
> I have no idea if this works, I've just had to get through it. If it does, brilliant, I've pulled something out of the bag; if not, please bear with. Normal service will be resumed once the split is out of the way! Do please let me know either way how this goes down - I am fully prepared for the readership to lose faith with my writing for a while...I won't be offended!
> 
> To reflect the disjointed narrative & the fluctuation in mood between the boys, I plan to post chapters frequently over the next couple of days - I think reading them in quick succession should help to highlight the ever-changing vibe between them. So depending on how often you check in to this fic, keep your eyes peeled that several chapters should be appearing on a given day.
> 
> At least a flurry of activity here will allow us all to occupy our minds from current canon...
> 
> Here goes...

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19

Callum's inspection of Ben's coat pockets yielded little he didn't already know of the man…

In the left pocket: a half-crumpled invoice copy, denoting works undertaken on a car at the Arches; a trade newspaper cutting with the details of one particular motor circled in bold red ink; & perhaps a little more bizarrely, an unopened car air freshener.

In the right pocket: the remnants of the bag of sweets they'd shared the other night, carefully sealed, Callum noted, with one of Lexi's hairbands.

He hadn't been entirely sure what he'd been looking for, but nothing in Ben's exterior pockets had implied anything untoward. Many well spent hours of holding himself close to Ben's person, though, slipping roaming hands beneath his coat, had informed Callum there was a third, internal pocket within the coat too. 

He paused, listening out to check the shower was still running, & then ferreted through the inner lining to find said pocket. Secreted there were Ben's fraying-round-the-edges wallet, & two smaller pieces of paper. 

Callum needed to have a word with himself before continuing to pry, suddenly a little unsettled as to what he might find. His mind was working overtime running through various scenarios. Pulling the slips of paper out though did nothing but make his heart sing with glee.

The first: a Christmas card, hand-made by Lexi, depicting the five of them, their little family unit, at the Winter Wonderland.

The second: a post-it note, containing a hand written message from Callum himself. It dated back a couple of weeks now, but the elder man was touched Ben had kept possession of it. Just as Callum had kept the corresponding post-it note Ben had left for him.

In isolation, the words on this note made little sense, but came alive when combined with those on the post-it note Callum retained...

They'd gone through a phase of sneaking into each other's place of work, secreting messages written on post-it notes around desks or computers.

Ben's effort on the morning of this particular exchange had been on the risqué side, given Jay, or worse still, Stuart, could have found it:

_Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
Get back in my bed,  
Where I'll see to you  
X_

Callum's more measured response had been delivered by this particular post-it note, secured to Ben's office chair later that day:

_Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
That thing your note said...  
I look forward to...  
X_

Callum found a fond smile of recollection had crept across his features, nearly jumping out of his skin when the flat buzzer sounded, bringing him back from his thoughts. Hastily, he returned the treasured items to Ben's inner pocket, scooping the coat up in his arms as he answered the door. 

As he took delivery of their food, another faint waft of petrol caught his nose again, from the coat in his arms this time. Presented with evidence of two very different sides of the man he loved, Callum decided in that moment he would bide his time. Diligently hanging Ben’s coat in the hallway, he slipped the bag of takeaway food onto the table, & ventured across the flat to knock gently on the bathroom door, before pushing it steadily open. "Food's here..."

Ben peered from around the shower curtain. "Be right with ya..."  
"You want me to stick these clothes of yours in with my washing?" Callum mustered up the most casual enquiry he could. "Plannin' on a wash tomorrow, so might as well get value for money".

"Look at us gettin' all domesticated," Ben chuckled warmly, grabbing a towel to tie about his waist. "That'd be great babe, thanks..."


	70. Chapter 70

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Don't get caught out - second chapter posting of today.
> 
> (See Notes at header of Chapter 69 for explanation!)

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19

Callum quirked an inquisitive eyebrow as Ben emerged from the bedroom, freshly showered & changed.  
“You don’t mind, do ya babe?” The younger man tugged at the sleeve of the jumper he was wearing – Callum’s jumper. “Fast runnin’ out of my own clean clothes to wear…”

“Looks better on you than me I reckon…” Callum suggested with an easy smile. “Except the sleeves bein’ too long on ya!”  
Ben tutted. “You are so heightest…”  
“Heightest; is that even a word?” The elder man lifted the last of the lids from their takeaway meal & indicated for his boyfriend to sit down.  
“Is now…” Ben grinned, helping himself to a snatch at his man’s backside on his way past. “Yum yum…”  
Callum gave a disapproving shake of his head.  
“What?” Ben challenged with defiance. “I was talkin’ about the food…” He wasted no further time in diving into the selection in front of him.

Callum simply sat back and observed his man for a few moments. “What was ya Dad bein’ so unreasonable about today then?”  
Ben’s movements stilled at the question, & he expelled a sniff that meant his response took a beat too long to come for Callum’s liking. “Christmas…Brexit…You name it, he’s got an unreasonable opinion on it…”

“Thought Ian was the only political animal in your family…” Callum gave back, snaffling a prawn cracker & crunching loudly into it.  
“We really gonna waste our evening talkin’ bout my misfit family?” Ben questioned; disappointment apparent in his voice.  
“Said yourself earlier how domesticated we’re gettin’…” Callum offered in return, dunking his half-eaten prawn cracker into one of the takeaway dishes. “S’what couples do, ain’t it? Talk about their day; talk about what their family members have done to annoy them…”

“Babe, seriously?” Ben asserted, suddenly incredulous. “Did you really just dip a half-chewed prawn cracker in that black bean sauce? That’s disgusting! We’re gonna have to make some serious amendments to your habits before you even think I’m gettin’ all domesticated with you…”

Callum leant back in his seat & engaged his boyfriend with a challenging glower. “Ain’t exactly a crime now, is it?”  
Ben’s eyes narrowed in response, suddenly unnerved as to whether there was a deeper sentiment hidden within the elder man’s tone. Not caring to dwell on that notion, he gave an almost imperceptible nod of his head, & returned his focus to the chicken chow mein.


	71. Chapter 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As explained yesterday, operation let's just surge our way through this mess continues...I plan further multiple posting today so keep an eye out...

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19

"Oh my god, that is just plain creepy!" Ben exclaimed, a visible shudder travelling down his spine, as he & Callum lay on the sofa watching a nonsense documentary on television titled "Love Me, Love My..." 

Elder man was lightly spooning younger, with his lanky legs curled over Ben's to prevent them spilling over the far end of the sofa.

"I mean," Ben continued his running commentary. "Imagine waking up in the night to find all those sets of eyes boring into you..."

The premise of the tv show revolved around couples where one of the partnership had an unhealthy obsession, or had a previously undisclosed addiction, with collecting particular artefacts.

Callum softly chuckled in amusement. "Is that why you insisted on covering the head of that teddy bear you bought for Peggy last week with your trousers when it spent the night in our room? You got a phobia of teddy bears?"

The television documentary was currently focusing on a woman in her mid fifties who had a collection of over 5,000 teddy bears; a fifth of which resided in the bedroom she shared with her husband.

"I was not scared..." Ben huffed defiantly. "Just didn't wanna be put off my stroke..." He briefly shifted his gaze to give Callum a knowing look, accompanied by a perfectly-timed wink. "Seriously though, all those bears starin' at ya; it's one step away from the old Mafia horse's head in the bed, ain't it..."

Ben realigned himself to lie as he had before, oblivious to the spark of disturbance his words briefly roused in his partner. 

"If ya say so..." was the best response Callum could muster, humming warm breath to Ben's neck.

They settled back into amiable silence for a while; Ben tracing a forefinger along the individual hairs on Callum's lower arm as their viewing continued. 

\- - -

"Holy..." Ben's next exclamation brought Callum back from the thoughts he'd been lost in. "Are you seriously tellin' me her husband's been up to that all this time, & she had no idea...?"

Callum roused at the incredulity in his boyfriend's words: given their own current circumstance, something fairly damning must have just been exposed on the television. 

"I mean, that's just plain weird..." Ben continued to reel at the latest couple to future on the show they were watching, where it had just emerged that the husband kept typed transcripts of every conversation he & his wife had ever had.

"It's a bit odd, I'll grant you..." Callum chuckled quietly.  
"A bit odd?" Ben nearly choked at his boyfriend's even temper. "A bit odd? That's the understatement of the year babe..."

"Well have they said why he does it?" Callum queried uncertainly.  
"You actually been payin' any attention to the programme babe?" Ben scoffed. "He reckons it's a record of his devotion to his one true love..." He shuffled his weight to turn & lie facing his man. "More like a bank of evidence to use in a court of law if ya ask me..."

Callum stilled, in an attempt to read his boyfriend's expression. Eventually, he spoke. "It's still a struggle for you, ain't it: the whole keepin' on the straight & narrow..."

There it went again: that momentary flash of unease in the younger man's gaze, before it was swiftly replaced with something more neutral.

"What makes ya think that?" Ben questioned uncertainly.  
"Just a vibe I get sometimes..." Callum shrugged. "I ain't judgin' Ben, or tryin' to call you out on anythin'. I just wanna know you're showin' me all of you; not keepin' the bits that don't suit hidden..."

Ben dipped his head to nod an apparent acceptance, then raised a hand to gently cup Callum's cheek. "I've stayed on the right side of the law. I promise you..."

Callum slipped a tender kiss to his man's wrist as it still rested against his face. "That's good to hear..."  
"Where's the hardship when this is my reward eh?" Ben leant forward to instigate an effortless kiss that they both ultimately emerged from smiling.

"Come on then, in the spirit of this God awful tv programme," Ben conceded calmly. "Love me, love my...You finish that statement with the biggest secret lurking in your closet & I'll do the same back..." He watched his boyfriend expectantly.

"Who says I got secrets?" Callum was now the one to seem hesitant, thrown a little off guard by what could essentially be a double bluff from his partner. Then again, it could just be harmless fun...

"Oh we've all got 'em babe..." Ben laughed softly. "You show me yours; I'll show you mine..."


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Don't get caught out - second chapter update of the day. Hoping to get a couple more out by the end of the day, in my continued rush to pretend this isn't all ridiculously disjointed...Thanks EE script writers...

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19

"Biggest secret..." Callum mused quietly, as if deep in thought.  
"Ya got that many to choose from, have ya?" Ben smiled.  
"Shut up," the elder man rebuffed the younger with a slap of his arm.  
"Come on; tell me..." Ben prompted. "Ya know whatever it is will be safe with me, don't ya..."

Callum certainly couldn't argue that assertion given previous secrets of his Ben had guarded so closely. He also knew that if he expected Ben to trust him with his secrets he had to show similar faith too.

Callum took a deep breath & whispered his confession out. "I faked the extent of my injury to get a permanent discharge from the Army".

"Faked how?" Ben looked confused. "I see the scar for meself every day, that ain't fake..."

"The injury was real but I made up its after effects. Did some internet research before I went to the doctor for sign off for return to duty. Told him I get intermittent shooting pains that stop me in my tracks. Forced him into concludin' I'd be a risk to meself & others..."

Ben responded with an expression that sat somewhere between understanding & shock. "Always suspected the Army weren't really the place for a kindly soul like you..." He gently brushed a hand along his boyfriend's hair, neatly styled above his forehead.

"Weren't like that, not really..." Callum immediately sought to quash any suspicion he was too soft for the reality of serving Queen & Country. "There was a lot I liked about the Army - the structure, the discipline, the fitness work - but I just didn't fit the mould. Weren't ever likely to, was I?"

Ben tilted his head to one side. "How many times have I told ya now: it ain't about fittin' in; it's about bein' comfortable in your own skin..."

"Know that now, don't I?" Callum gave a nervous chuckle, then pressed a kiss to the other man's lips. "It don't sit comfortable with me though: people makin' me out to be some hero, when I'm anythin' but..."

Ben returned the kiss as a means of reassurance. "Says the man who rescued my nephew from a railway tunnel..."  
"Anyone would've done the same..." Callum remained self-effacing.

Ben gave a shake of his head in rejection of his boyfriend's modesty. "Still a hero to me, you are, every single day..." There was greater sentiment to that than he'd ever care to admit, given Callum was single-handedly reclaiming him from dark forces every single day at present.

"Your turn then..." Callum reminded his man. "What you got for me?"  
Ben looked him straight in the eye. "I ain't prepared to give ya some bull about who I night or might not be..." He began quietly, not intending to be cruel, but risking potentially sounding it.

"I want you to know something personal to me, that ain't a secret as such, cos everyone who means somethin' to me already knows it..." He paused momentarily, then continued. "Which means it's about time you know it too..."

"Ok.." Callum looked quizzical, uncertain as to where this was going.  
Ben smoothed out an imperfection on his man's shirt collar. "I wear a hearing aid..."

"What?" The elder man was genuinely stunned. "How...how do I not already know that?"  
Ben gave a soft laugh. "Why would ya? It does its job discreetly, which is how I like it to be".  
Callum shook his head in disbelief. "But I must of kissed every inch of you; how'd I never notice that?" 

Ben laughed again. "Because maybe I was keen on you focussing your attention elsewhere on my body? Seriously though, they're compact bits of kit nowadays, not the over-sized monstrosities they were back when..."

"So you've worn one all ya life?" Callum was genuinely intrigued.  
"Since I was a little'un," Ben clarified with a shrug. "Contracted meningitis as a kid, & a hearing impediment was the lasting effect..."

"So how much can you hear without the aid?" Callum continued to be fascinated.  
Ben removed the hearing aid from his left ear before responding. "Everything's really muffled without it. I'm not too bad one-to-one like this, because the background noise is limited & I can lip read if all else fails. If we were out in a bar with lots of noise & chat I'd be lost without it though..."

Callum lifted his hands to ask an unassuming question. "May !?"  
"Course," Ben handed the hearing aid to his boyfriend, who immediately had the sense he was being trusted with something truly precious.

"To think somethin' so tiny can make such a world of difference..." Callum marvelled at the piece of equipment in his grasp. Unremarkable in presence, but clearly so vital for his boyfriend. "Shit," Callum suddenly verbally chastised himself. "Do you need me to speak slower or more clearly without this in?" He looked his man straight in the eye as he voiced his question.

"Nah," Ben smiled. "I could lip read all of that, swear word & all..."  
Callum flushed in unnecessary embarassment, earning a kiss of reassurance for his troubles.  


"Never a hardship for me to stare at these lips of yours..." Ben teased against them. "Plus I do have another ear in perfectly good working order".

"Fancy turnin' in for the night?" Callum prompted softly, as he handed the aid back to his boyfriend with diligent care, then watched on as he slipped it back in place in his ear.  
"You bet I do..." Ben affirmed equally softly. 

Callum tapped an encouraging hand at the other man's waist. "You go on. I'll clear up the last of this debris then be right with ya..."  
"You sure? I can give ya a hand..."  
"Don't need you distractin' me, do I?" Callum chuckled easily. "Now be gone with ya..."

"God I love it when ya get all bossy..." Ben pecked an affectionate kiss between them as he rose from the sofa. "Don't be long mind..."  
"I won't..." Callum returned, watching on as his man retreated across the room, left with the notion that Ben had just opened up his greatest vulnerability to him.


	73. Chapter 73

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Instalment 3 of 4 to be posted today, so rewind a couple of chapters if you've not been keeping up!

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19

Callum stood at the kitchen sink, still attempting to rationalise what had been the most unlikely of evenings. 

So many of Ben's finer points had been shining through - attentive, affectionate, giving - so much so that they were threatening to dazzle Callum. 

And how Callum wanted to be dazzled by them. He just couldn't quite decide whether they were shining through so brightly because that was their natural state, or whether Ben had chosen to accentuate their glow as a distractionary tactic on this particular night.

Either way, he'd won Callum over, dragging him ever further from the edge of suspicion he'd been teetering so close to at the beginning of the evening. 

He'd turn a blind eye on this occasion alone, on the sole basis of Ben's assurance no legal line had been crossed. Ben had been so open & honest with him on other details disclosed, what right did Callum have to doubt him on anything now?

With that resolve now set in his mind, Callum cleared away the last of the evening's debris, only to be interrupted by Ben emerging from the bedroom in a state of partial undress - boxer shorts & t-shirt - looking finer than anyone had a right to.

"Misplaced my contact lens solution," Ben offered an explanation for his reappearance. "Just gonna check in my coat pockets..."

"Oh you won't find..." Callum hastily stopped himself from finishing the statement he'd started, almost giving his earlier sleuthing away. "I mean you won't find your coat where you left it; I hung it up in the hallway for ya..."

"Cheers babe..." Ben seemed nonplussed by the explanation, crossing the room to dig into his coat pockets. 

"D'ya find it?" Callum raised the question he already knew the answer to when Ben re-emerged mere moments later 

"Nah," Ben shrugged. "Know I had it on me though, so must be in the pocket of the trousers I was wearin' earlier. You put 'em in your wash basket didn't ya?"  
"Yeah, it's just inside the wardrobe," Callum confirmed readily, wiping his hands on a tea towel.

"Guess I'll go take a look there then..." Ben flashed his man an amiable smile. "What chance you'll be comin' to join any time soon?'  
"One minute, I promise," Callum smiled back. "Just wanna bin these containers so they don't stink the place out over night..."

As if to emphasise his intention, he snatched up the bag of empty takeaway cartons & made a move towards the flat door, stopping at Ben on his way to deliver him a kiss.

"You'd better only be the one minute babe," Ben greeted their kiss enticingly. "Don't make me come back out to get ya... "


	74. Chapter 74

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miracle of miracles, I THINK I have managed to contrive my way through the minefield that was linking the sofa scene of 19/12/19 ("Do ya wanna get a Chinese") & the opening scene of 20/12/19.
> 
> With appreciation to all those who have stuck with & encouraged me through this horror show - still some difficult scenes to bridge coming up, but I think I finally have a stronger grasp on how to approach them after this weekend. Phew!

## Unseen scene of 19/12/19

"Oh, that's just plain lazy..." Callum cursed under his breath, retrieving the discarded vodka bottle from his general waste bin before he threw the non -recyclable takeaway cartons in. He was probably in hindsight focusing on the wrong thing, not even considering where the empty bottle might have come from in the first place. 

"Glass goes in the recyclables bin, not the general waste..." he continued to grumble as he rectified the situation.

He then shut the door to the world for the night & made giant strides back up the stairs & back to his man in the bedroom 

"You would not believe some people..." he lamented as he burst through the bedroom door. "Some numbskull only went & put a recyclable bottle in the general waste..."

He stalled firmly in his tracks at the sight of Ben before him: posture suddenly closed down, where minutes before it had been open & inviting; facial features one of a rabbit startled in headlights.

In Ben's hands, the shirt he'd been wearing earlier that day; his guilt-ridden expression giving away that he'd just noticed the blood on it for the first time.

The two men's eyes locked onto each other from across the room, as Ben hastily made to bundle the soiled shirt back among the other washing.

Callum stood stock still: firm in his presence yet neutral in expression. He wouldn't be the one to give anything away. 

This was Ben's acid test now: whether he saw the greater risk as being honest about his day & earning his boyfriend's potential disapproval; or maintaining the pretence, & hoping beyond hope his boyfriend hadn't already seen the damning blood stains.


	75. Chapter 75

## Unseen scene merging into actual scene of 20/12/19

They'd been on simmer through the night, barely a word uttered between them since Ben had made his choice, opting to bury his head in the sand. 

Brief, awkward declarations of sudden tiredness had been exchanged as means of excusing themselves from earlier promises of physical intimacy. Even emotional intimacy had been wiped from the cards, as each man cocooned themselves at either edge of the mattress: Ben on his back; Callum on his side, facing away from the other man.

At some untold hour of the night, when sleep had failed to claim either man, & they'd both lay on their backs with eyes rooted to the ceiling, Ben had turned his head to look across at Callum through the gloom of the night, both of them sensing words were present on the tip of his tongue. None ever emerged to break through the silence though, leaving them both with the certain knowledge something of what had come between them would have to spoken in the morning. 

As Ben was left to rue his carelessness for the second time, Callum lay lost in regret.

\- - - 

“Poured you a bowl...” Ben indicated the cereal next to him on the table as Callum emerged from the bedroom, demonstratively slamming the door behind him.  
“I’m good thanks...” The words that left the elder man’s lips seemed in direct contrast to his mood.  
“Well I’ll put some toast in then for you, like a good little wife...” Hellbent on easing, or perhaps even trying to ignore the rising tension between them, Ben tried to harp back to the ideals of blissful domesticity they’d been setting the evening before. “Am I gonna get a smile any time soon?” As he went to move past his boyfriend, he raised his left hand to direct Callum to look at him. 

“I saw you with Jack...” Callum was in no mood for mind games after a sleepless night, knowing this was a topic he had to address.  
The widening of Ben’s eyes confirmed the fear rising within, but he knew he had little option but to try and front it out. “I don’t know any Jack...”  
“Jack Branning...” Callum clarified, an obvious edge of disappointment in his voice. Ben, suddenly unable to look at him, turned & walked away. “I saw ‘im, I saw you, & I saw the blood on your shirt...”

That combination of words was enough to halt Ben in his tracks, knowing this was worse than his overnight fears had dared believe. Still, the only way he knew was to fight fire with fire. “And you waited all night to ask me about this?”  
“Been waitin’ for you to tell me about it Ben; there’s a big difference...” Callum interjected wearily.

“I gotta be somewhere...” Ben swiftly opted out of any further post mortem, then changing his mind as he went to sweep past his boyfriend. “Callum, here’s a tip for free...When it comes to my family, & my family business, probably best you stay out if it...” As he spoke the words, his eyes bore into Callum’s as if trying to impress a point of clarity: _this isn’t a threat that you should mind your own; this is me trying to keep you from harm..._


	76. Chapter 76

## Actual scene of 20/12/19 merging into unseen scene

Callum sat quietly nursing a bottle of beer in the Vic, mulling over Ben's words of that morning. He was starting to see a contradiction in his boyfriend's actions of late: on the one hand, Ben was actively encouraging Callum's inclusion in family life with Lexi et al; on the other he was deterring him from knowing any of the Mitchells' business. 

He knew the root cause of where this was coming from: Phil. The similarities with his own father were uncanny, meaning Callum already had the inside line on foolishly trying to live up to a parent's uncompromising demands. & ideals.

It had been a relief, in a way, to get the sense from Ben that whatever he'd been caught up in with to Jack was little to do with any personal vendetta of his own, & more to do with towing the family line. Callum could maybe work with that, provided Ben would let him.

He looked up to see the subject of his preoccupation approaching.  
"I was gonna call you..." Ben offered a conciliatory opening.  
"I was gonna call you..." Callum returned with a rueful look.

Ben didn't take anything of his boyfriend's frame of mind for granted. "Can I?" he gestured at the seat opposite, then took it with Callum's approval.

"So how was the family?" the elder man questioned, the first vowel of the final word intentionally elongated. He tapped impatient fingers on the table.

"Good," Ben suddenly with the nervous manner of a candidate at a job interview. "Yeah, it's gone away now, so we're back on track". He leant inward to deal his man an imploring gaze.

"You & your Dad, or you & me?" Callum remained resolute in his neutrality.   
"Me & you were never off track," Ben returned his assertion with matching resolve.

"Didn't seem that way earlier..." Callum ventured firmly.  
"Yeah well, I got dragged into something: it's done with..." Ben was attempting decisive finality, but mistakenly stumbled into flippancy.

"Done with..." Callum expelled at a huff.   
Ben immediately recognised his error, & tried to soften his manner.

"You hurt Jack..." Callum's latest words a statement of fact, not a question.  
Ben immediately rallied against them with a submissive, hushed tone. "My Dad hurt Jack..."

Callum shook his head, disbelieving. "Why would he do that?"  
A sigh of resignation left Ben's lips. "You don't need to know..."  
"Yeah I do Ben," it was Callum's turn to lean in closer, delivering his dambing assessment. "Because I don't like that you're lyin' to me..."

"I'm not," Ben tried to imart deeper meaning with his eyes. "Not to you...The only reason I had Jack's blood on me is because I was tryin' to save him. Now that is, that is the honest truth..." He held up his palms in an attempt at absolute transparency.

Callum was starting to believe the sincerity shining at him, but still couldn't quite let the subject go. "Your Dad's a nightmare..." He tipped his beer bottle's neck in Ben's direction, then took a much-needed swig.

"Yeah," Ben's gaze briefly tipped to the table. "Yeah, but he's my nightmare..." As he looked back towards Callum, he finally saw the beginnings of a thaw. 

"You could of told me that sooner..." Callum knew enough of nightmare fathers to understand the influence they could hold over their sons.  
"You were givin' me evils, I couldn't think straight..." Ben protested, finally a release of the tension between them beckoning.

"Yeah well, you haven't seen my evils yet..." Callum attempted to maintain his impartiality, but they could both feel the softening in his tone.

Ben expelled a breath of amused air & attempted the engagement of a smile between them, that Callum was ultimately powerless to resist. After they'd shared a moment of easiness between them, Ben pressed again with pleading eyes. "Are we good?"

"We're gettin' there..." Callum confirmed gently, finally allowing a calmness to settle about them.

"I'm gonna get a drink..." Ben indicated in the direction of the bar & swiftly headed there, leaving Callum alone to his thoughts after he'd watched his man's retreat

While Ben stood at the bar, awaiting his turn to be served, the memory wasn't lost on him that they were seated at the same place as when Pam's intervention had taken place. Then, as now, it was the younger of the two men with his tail between his legs; then, as now, it was his concession to make.

He ordered himself a beer & turned back to check if Callum needed a refill. "Ya want one?"  
"Nah," the elder man smiled gently. "Barely even touched this one..."

Ben gave an even smile of acknowledgement, then turned his attention to taking the money from his wallet to pay for his drink.

With beer bottle in hand, he then returned to his seat opposite Callum. "I'm sorry I stormed out this mornin'..." He tapped a finger erratically against the bottle. "I just don't tend to deal well with bein' cornered..."

Callum leant back in his chair & raised an eyebrow. "Ya really think I don't already know that?" He offered a gentle smile to indicate he was teasing.

Ben gave an indistinct shake of the head. " I just thought I was better gettin' out of there before I could say somethin' I'd regret..." He paused to engage Callum's eyes with his own. "Somethin' we'd regret..."

Callum considered that notion quietly for a moment, taking a protracted swig of beer. "You ready to have a grown up conversation about it now? Fill me in with the bigger picture, not just the random snapshots I've seen so far?"

Ben plastered a look of grim, resolute determination across his features. "I can do that..." he gave a nod of his head & prepared to fill in some of the missing details for his boyfriend.

\- - -

Ben did just that: explaining snippets to Callum, without giving away secrets that weren't his to run fast & loose with.

He explained that Phil had - wrongly as they now knew - suspected Jack of crossing him; that Ben had tried to be the voice of reason & had honestly thought he'd talked his father out of taking wildly disproportionate revenge. 

That by the time Ben had realised Phil was enacting his revenge, Jack was already in a pitiful state; that Ben had intervened to stop it being taken further. That it really could have gone so much further.

Callum sat quiet through the entire monologue, taking everything in at his own speed. Once Ben had finished his explanation, he could stand the silence coming from the other side of the table no more. "Say somethin' then; anythin'..." he pleaded with his boyfriend awkwardly.

Callum wouldn't allow himself to be rushed into a response, so took his time in leaning forward a little. "How's Jack?" he eventually offered, with an expression unreadable.

"Bloodied & bruised, but not half as bad as he would of been if I'd got there 10 minutes later..." Ben adjusted his weight in his seat. "I made sure he got home safe, & I made sure his kids weren't faced with the sight of their dad like that..."

Callum nodded a silent acceptance of Ben's behaviour towards Jack, then asked the most unexpected of questions. "And how are you?" A frown of concentrated concern on his face.

"Honestly?" Ben fidgeted on his seat again. "Scared witless I've messed this up..." He used a hand to indicate into the space between them that he was talking about their relationship.

"Nah, you ain't..." Callum responded softly. "I just wish you'd be honest like this with me all the time...Not keep things bottled up when they're so obviously eatin' away at ya..."

Ben gave a contrite nod in apparent acceptance of his boyfriend's sentiment, but offered no further comment.


	77. Chapter 77

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some scenes are just too...well just too really...to expand or embellish...

## Actual scene of 20/12/19

  
If there was one thing you should never do when it came to Ben Mitchell, it was backing him into a corner as a means of confrontation; the man himself had even told Callum that earlier in the day, knowing it would only prompt him to push back harder & more abrasively.

“Thought you’d of binned that by now…”

Emerging into the flat & setting eyes first on his blood-stained shirt, then sensing a brooding Callum beside him, Ben had decided to get his words in first.

“I nearly did, & then I thought you might need it again, for when you’re next punchin’ the life outta someone…”

Callum began to recognise the critical mistake he was making as soon as he began to voice that harsh response. It was evident from Ben’s physical reaction alone, as the younger man stalked across the sitting room to hang his coat on the reclining chair & brace his hands to it, as if seeking traction in a room that was suddenly spinning.

What made the situation ten times worse was Callum’s already haunted knowledge he was doing this on the back of a third party’s opinion, rather than trusting one he’d formed of his own volition. 

Following on from Jack’s stinging character assassination of Ben, Callum had taken a reactive, unconsidered approach, of which he hadn’t ever thought himself capable, returning home & retrieving his boyfriend’s shirt from the washing basket, leaving it in plain sight on the kitchen counter. His earlier belief in his boyfriend having faltered at Jack’s contradiction of the explanation of events Ben had suggested.

“That was my Dad…” Ben’s choked, almost childlike, response came. “You really need to start believin’ in me”. The silent subtext of that comment playing simultaneously through his mind. _I really need you to start believin’ in me…_

Callum was in too deep to go back now, so had to push on with what he’d started, even if the truth was that he’d never believed in anyone or anything more than Ben & the love he felt for him. “And you need to start bein’ honest; about who you are & what you are…”

Ben was stung by that assertion, feeling all that he had done of late was show an honest reflection to his boyfriend of who & what he was. He’d considered his previous night’s admission of his hearing impediment to be himself at his most open. “I am protecting you, by not involving you,” he shot back with force, as he turned back towards his man. Echoes of bygone assurances given to Callum reverberating in his mind:

_You’re my boyfriend…_

__

__

_I can put it on all I want, but you get me…_

“I went to war, Ben. I was a soldier. What, do ya think I needed protectin’ then?” Callum was equally riled at his man’s assumption that theirs was an unequal relationship. He was growing tired of being pigeonholed; dismissed as naïve. 

“I know that! Alright? But what I’m sayin’ Callum, is this…this is good…you & me, so just…” Ben clapped his hands together in search of a word, any word, that would adequately reflect what he wanted to say. “…Chill”. The words he hoped himself capable of saying were fast deserting him; his mind shutting down as a form of defence. His hands now clasped together in some sort of prayer.

Ben set himself down in the chair in exasperation, hoping beyond hope their conversation was done. Suddenly, his one place of sanctuary invaded by a sense of deep dread & foreboding.

Callum, though, wasn’t done. “I can handle it Ben; whatever it is you get up to, but I’m not just gonna stand here & be shut out”.

Ben took the time to gather his thoughts before responding, briefly closing his eyes. “There are some things that should stay with me, & me alone…” He drummed out a metronome beat with his hand on the chair as he spoke, trying to maintain his cool & not alienate the man beside him any further. 

“Tell me about those things…” Callum tried to urge, plea, even.

“It doesn’t matter…” Ben sprung back out of the chair to forcibly make his point. “It doesn’t matter…Ok? It’ll be done soon…” Defiant eyes met defiant eyes.  
“What, by you?” The elder man continued to challenge.  
“Yeah, looks that way…” At last, something close to an actual admission from the younger man.  
Callum could almost sense the weight of Phil bearing down on Ben’s shoulders. “Well what is it then, wh…what have you got to do?”

Ben was already feeling though that he’d let slip too much, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to blot out the rising pressure building there. “Just…You don’t need to know”. In another attempt at finality, he firmly slapped his hands together once more, while he began to shift about the room increasingly erratically. 

“Stop tellin’ me that Ben! I’m, I’m not just gonna stand here & be treated like that “.

“It is for your own good…” Ben returned to marking out the beat of his words, while Callum briefly turned away in disgust. “…& like I said to you Callum, it’ll be over soon, & then, & then I’ll…”

“And then you’ll what? You’ll what?” Callum challenged with the most confrontational physical stance Ben had ever seen the man deliver; swamping by comparison the time the elder man had pinned him to the wall of the Beales’ sitting room.

Something in Callum’s demeanour immediately changed though, as he saw what he thought might be a flicker of fear cross Ben’s eyes. He would never hurt this man, ever, & needed him to unquestioningly know that, so softened his voice. “This is special Ben. …”

He stepped in closer, cautiously lifting his hands to cradle Ben’s neck within them; thumbs resting gently on his cheeks. “Me & you I’ve been lookin’ for this for half my life…And I am in love with you, Ben, Real & proper love & it’s beautiful – or it should be. You can tell me anythin’ & it wouldn’t matter to me”.

He watched Ben visibly falter at his words, head first giving a reticent shake, then eyes rolled to the ceiling, as if unable to look the other man in the eye. He didn’t shy from Callum’s touch, but neither did he relent into it either. There was an internal battle taking place, Callum could sense.

After what seemed an agonising few seconds of silence, Ben expelled a long breath of air & what might have been the most disappointing question Callum had ever heard uttered. “Why’d you have to go & do that?”

All Callum could do was watch on helplessly as his boyfriend steadily extracted himself from his hold, gathered up his coat & made an exit from the flat. 

“Ben?”

“Ben?”

Having called out despairingly after him twice, although felling helpless, Callum knew he could do was follow on at pace.


	78. Chapter 78

## Unseen scene of 20/12/19

“Don’t follow me…” Ben uttered the plea under his breath, barely audible to himself, let alone anyone else. “Please…don’t follow me…”

He knew already though it was a futile request: of course Callum would follow him. Off a cliff; to the moon & back – Callum would follow Ben anywhere; they both already knew. With his pleading puppy dog eyes, indefatigable smile & all-encompassing sense of warmth, Callum had the power to draw Ben back in at will.

Ben likewise, though, had the raw potential to break Callum: never by will, but certainly by circumstance…

With every question that Callum asked of him, Ben could feel his resolve weaken a little; with every assertion by Callum that he could handle the truth, Ben could feel a slight crack creeping into his walls. 

If Ben allowed the path they were stumbling along to continue, Callum would wear him down, & in doing so, unknowingly put himself at risk. That was not a scenario Ben could contemplate, let alone withstand.

As he sensed Callum continuing to bustle across the Square after him, the younger man faced a stark reality in the looming darkness. His only choice was to deliver a short, sharp shock that might distress the elder man in the immediate term, but would safeguard him for the longer. 

Ben took in the deepest of breaths as he felt Callum draw near, & prepared to deliver the most devastating performance of his life.


	79. Chapter 79

## Actual scene of 20/12/19

“Where are you going?” Having finally caught up with Ben’s pace, Callum surged instantly into questioning.  
“Leave it…” the younger man tried to shrug the elder off, still knowing every question the man asked of him tugged a little more at his conscience. At his willpower.

Callum, in a state of near disbelief, couldn’t let this go. “I opened up to you Ben…”. The tone of his voice remorseful & strained. Of all the reactions he’d considered he might receive to declaring his love for the man in front of him, this hadn’t been one. 

“And I heard ya…” Still trying to increase the distance between them, Ben delivered what he hoped would be a decisive full stop to the exchange. He hadn’t though banked on Callum’s next heartfelt plea when making that calculation. 

“You, you love me too, don’t ya?”

The question seemed to linger uncomfortably between them in the evening’s darkness: Ben knowing he would have to give some sort of answer to it. He couldn’t think in terms of love, because that brought so many unwelcome memories of remorse & regret from his past. He could think though in terms of fondness, a shared connection, happiness; knowing he now needed to distance himself from all of them. 

“Do ya think it’s gonna change me if I do? You think that it’s, what, gonna start snowin’ & Santa’s just gonna pitch up? See that’s…that’s why I’ve gotta protect you. Cos your world is warm & soft, & everythin’ in it is good”.

Callum couldn’t comprehend that Ben couldn’t see himself in that description. Certainly he was a shape-shifting conundrum, but when it was just the two of them, the younger man was everything he’d just listed. Warm, soft, & good. 

So, so much better than good. “You’re in that world Ben”.

“You’re not in mine….” They both knew that was only because Ben held a little of his reality back; that Callum would rush in head first if he was allowed.  
“I’m already there!” Callum in truth had felt himself immersed in Ben’s world from the instant he’d first exposed his true self to him all those months ago.  
Ben found himself struggling to deliver little more than decisive counterpoints in the face of such determined adoration. “It’s not for you…”

“I will be anywhere that you are”.

Ben stalled at that latest declaration, fully understanding it to be true. It was also though the precise reason why he was pushing Callum away: if Ben allowed him to be anywhere he was he would be knowingly exposing him to risk. 

There were many things Ben was willing to risk in life, but Callum’s safety & the innate goodness in his soul weren’t any of them. Having glanced off into the distance for some inspiration, Ben settled on continuing the increasingly confused analogy they were in the midst of. “Mate, I was just passin’ through…”

The use of the colloquial term ‘mate’ probably should have stung more, but Callum was too busy focusing on the broader sentiment of the words. “What does that mean?”  
“We had fun. You are sweet, you’ve got a big heart but, hey, we’re just not suited”. Ben started to serve up his best attempt at letting his man down gently. 

As the reality of the situation began to weigh heavily in the air, Callum started to fumble for his words. “Y…you don’t mean that…”  
Ben, in contrast, seemed to suddenly hit his stride, delivering his firmest argument yet. “I am not gonna ruin you, & I am not gonna watch you get ruined”.

“I swear…” Callum tried to counterpunch, but found himself interrupted.  
“I don’t love you”. The four words had tripped from his mouth more forcefully than Ben would ever have intended. Although everything pointed to the contrary, he didn’t ever want to hurt the man before him, so he softened his tone before asserting again. “I don’t love you…and I don’t want your love”.

“Y…Yes you do…Yes you do…I, I know that you do…” Bruised by Ben’s words, but still not willing to be defeated, Callum wanted to press home his point: that every act of tenderness between them, every exchange of care & affection that had taken place, was proof of love within itself. 

The right words just wouldn’t allow themselves to be summoned though. 

Ben seized on the hesitation, sensing finally that he had the upper hand. “That’s how it happens in your world, but never in mine…Never in mine”. Once again he tried to focus on the distinction between their lives, even if deep down he’d never felt so connected to another person. 

Feeling his heart begin to shatter, & knowing he could maintain the pretence little more, Ben gave his final pronouncement. “You are a good guy Callum…but go & find someone else to love…We’re done”.

Walking away with tears stinging in his eyes, Ben made a silent admission to himself that he hadn’t thought possible... 

It was something he hoped Callum would come to understand with time too…

It was both of their hearts Ben was breaking, but for the purest of reasons…

Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I deliberated long & hard about how to play this scene out – similarly that two chapters earlier where Callum first confronted Ben, then declared his love.
> 
> Ultimately I knew those two scenes were too seminal to leave out, but equally too precious as presented in canon to mess about with. So I’ve gone for essentially just replaying them, only adding in asides/perspectives that I think are important in pushing my narrative forward. 
> 
> I hope I’ve done them justice for you all – this phase of canon’s narrative has been so, so troublesome to string together coherently & consistently. 
> 
> Luckily Callum’s departure from canon at Christmas, to be reflected here in a few chapters’ time, gives me free rein for a bit to do with the boys as I see fit in my narrative, which I’m looking forward to. Hopefully I can spring the odd unexpected happening along the way…


	80. Chapter 80

## Unseen scene of 23/12/19 _N.B. Chronologically, this scene should date as 21/12/19 - the morning after they split - but I'm listing it as a missing scene from the next episode that aired on 23/12/19_

The early morning rain rap, rap, rapped at the window, its rhythmic quality drawing Callum's attention as he lay on his back, chasing sleep that he had long given up on ever catching up with. 

He glanced at the time on his phone: 4.30am; some 12 hours on since Ben had plunged his world into darkness. An irony, really, given Callum had stalked back from Ben issuing the bruising last rites to their relationship to find the exterior of the funeral parlour illuminated like Blackpool. 

Black. Pool. That was precisely what Callum was feeling himself drowning in. A black pool of turmoil.

\- - -

As the rain lashed against the bedroom window, Ben lay listening to it, chewing down harshly on his lip, not even caring if he ended up hurting himself in the process. He still hadn't dared close his eyes all night, knowing Callum's distraught face was imprinted on his eyelids.

The rollercoaster that was Ben's life had derailed the previous evening. Or, more precisely, had been intentionally driven by Ben himself off the tracks Callum had been laying so diligently.

The elder man had been ready to rush headlong into zero gravity - _I am in love with you, Ben. Real & proper love…_\- but the younger man had slammed on the brakes, crashing them back to earth with a bump. _I don’t love you, & I don’t want your love…_

\- - -

The tears had stopped forming in Callum's eyes at some point in the night. All moisture probably long since evaporated. It was apt therefore that Mother Nature had now taken up the mantle of expelling them for him.

Callum couldn't actually recall that there had been any rainfall in the two months of his & Ben's relationship. Perhaps though that was just him over romanticising; that would certainly be Ben's interpretation based on his previous day's telling of events. 

\- - -

Ben had of course known the rain clouds would burst over them eventually. He'd even warned Callum so on occasion. The umbrella Ben had been holding over them, to shield Callum from his reality, had finally caved under the torrent. 

Despite his best efforts, Ben had been powerless to prevent the deluge from drowning them both.

\- - -

Callum rolled onto his side, his body momentarily tricking itself into believing he would find the warmth & solace of Ben's body there. He'd become a fixture in this bed of recent times, the two men rarely spending a night apart. The scent of him lingered on the pillows, & Callum couldn't stop himself from nestling his head deep within them to drink it in.

\- - -

Ben reached for a pillow from the other side of the bed - the cold, empty side of the bed - & pressed it over his eyes, not wanting to see anything but darkness any more.

There'd been method in Ben opting to spend the night here at his Dad's house, minimising as it did the material connections his mind could forge of Callum here.

They'd spent most of their time together either at Callum's flat or the Beales' house, so there was no discernible presence of Callum on these pillows or sheets…One of his plethora of warm, snug hoodies wouldn't be found draped over the nearest chair… A tub of his preferred hair-styling product wouldn't be found by the mirror...

\- - -

Callum drew his hands roughly through his hair, styling it into place ahead of a day he had no interest in seeing. 

There was only one set of hands he wanted at play through his locks, against his scalp...

He closed his eyes tight shut at the memory; tried to ignore the growing sting of fresh tears accumulating behind them. 

\- - -

Ben lay down his razor & stared wearily at his reflection in the mirror. Trying not to think of large, gentle hands roaming to his neck, fingers caressing at his freshly manicured stubble...

As his eyes continued to bore straight into those of his reflection, he raised a thumb to the corner of his mouth & began to nibble aggressively at the nail presented there. As the first specks of blood dripped down onto the sink, crimson contrasted sharply against brilliant white, only then did he start to comprehend the damage he’d caused. 

\- - -

Callum bit down on his tongue as he ignored Stuart waxing lyrical about the wrongs of Ben Mitchell. When he could stomach no more, the younger Highway took his leave from the flat without so much as a word, unable to entertain his brother’s crass insensitivity any longer.

Sometimes, he just wished everyone would stop offloading their opinions on his life.

\- - -

Bowl of cereal in front of him that he had no inclination to eat, Ben toyed at it with the spoon in his hand in a perpetual nagging motion. 

“Either eat that, yeah, or bin it. But do not keep sittin’ at my kitchen table making that infernal racket…” An irritable Phil piped up from across the room, earning an instant scowl of disbelief from his son.

Just occasionally, he wished his father would actually give a shit about what might be bothering his son.


	81. Chapter 81

## Scene continuation of 23/12/19

"Is that the Golf just been sold to Martin?" Jay pottered his way into the Car Lot portakabin, takeaway coffee in one hand, bacon butty in the other, having opened the door with his elbow. 

"Hello? Earth to Ben Mitchell?" he suggested dryly, noticing his brother wasn't paying him a jot of attention, gazing off out of the window instead.

"What?" Ben retaliated harshly, scratching absent-mindedly at his neck. "Er yeah, he's havin' it for Bex..." Evidently the question had actually gone in after all.

"Bit more money for the beer fund then..." Jay smiled gleefully. "What about it bruv? The four of us out for a few bevvies tonight: you, me, Lola & Callum?"

The mere mention of that name had Ben chewing down on his lip. This was another reason he'd opted to spend the night in the Mitchell household: to avoid the awkward questions for a few hours at least.

"Can't make it..." he muttered dolefully, moving around his desk to slump down heavily in his chair.  
"Since when you ever been known to turn down a few drinks?" Jay loafed down in the chair opposite.  
"Since now". Ben returned, a sense of finality evident both in his voice & in his physical response, as he forcefully clicked his pen shut against the desk.

Jay took a slurp from his coffee. "Yeah well, we all know you ain't really the one who's wearin' the trousers in your relationship, despite that hard man act ya put on, so I'll just call Callum & issue the invite direct to the boss man instead..."

Jay haphazardly perched his coffee cup between his legs & went to fish in his jacket pocket for his phone.

"Do not call him..." the muttered assertion came from across the desk.  
"Ya what?" Jay had heard the grumbled tone, but not the words, which had been uttered so quietly. "Didn't no-one ever teach ya to speak proper Bruv?" He unlocked his phone screen & tapped into his list of contacts.

"I said DO NOT call him..." Ben surged upwards from his chair & snatched the phone from his brother's hand.  
"Whoa, whoa, watch me coffee..." Jay immediately returned, allowing the phone to be swiped from his grasp, but protecting his caffeine from spillage at all costs. He didn't fancy that particular laundrette bill.

Ben, unable to even face reading Callum's name on the screen, swiftly locked the phone, placed it face down on the desk, & sunk his head in his hands.

"What have ya done?" Jay expelled a judgemental sigh, instantly recognising his brother's shamed expression.  
Ben slowly raised his head to respond quietly. "Split up with 'im..."  
"What? Why?" Jay both looked & sounded incredulous.  
"Weren't gonna work..." Ben shrugged dismissively.

"You ain't been playin' away from home, 'av ya?" Jay instantly knew he'd regret even asking it.  
"I ain't ever cheated in a relationship..." Ben bit back with scorn.  
Jay raised a questioning eyebrow, but said nothing.  
Ben swiftly recalibrated. "I ain't ever cheated in a relationship with a man...And let's face it, Abi had bigger worries with me than the fact I was cheatin'..."

"So what 'av ya done?" Jay looked mournfully at the bag containing his as yet untouched sandwich, knowing it was going to have to wait a little longer for his attention.

"It's complicated..." Ben gave back grudgingly.  
"Ain't it always where you're concerned?" Jay shook his head regretfully. "I just don't get it though. The two of you just seem so..." He paused to muse over his words. "Lo & me even used the big 'L' word when we was talkin' about you the other night..."

Ben looked up: part disappointment, part dread evident on his face. "The 'L' word?"  
"Yeah," Jay affirmed softly. "Looked suspiciously to us like you pair was boardin' the old love boat..."

"Don't say that..." Ben rose from his chair, giving a firm shake of his head. With posture slumped, he moved to unnecessarily shuffle paperwork around, before finally volunteering some critical information. "He said that word last night..."

"What, Callum?" Jay was suddenly animated by this news. "Callum told you he loves you..."  
Ben fixed his brother with a firm glare, but knew he couldn't sustain it, letting his eyes wander to the ceiling instead. 

"Callum told you he loves you & you dumped him for saying it?" Jay took another loud gulp of coffee. "Wait 'til Lola hears this; she's gonna throw a total hissy..."

Ben sank back down onto his chair with a loud exhale of breath. "I dumped him because he loves me, not because he told me he loves me. There is a difference..."

"What the heck is that ever meant to mean?" Jay questioned, bewildered.  
Ben's mouth made a move to respond, but he was interrupted by the ringing of his mobile phone. The display showed Phil was the caller, & they both clocked it before Ben declined the call.

"Phil still givin' ya cause for concern?' Jay enquired off topic, harping back to their recent conversation in which Ben had expressed some worries about his father's mindset.  
"Nah," Ben casually shut that enquiry down. "He's just got a bee in his bonnet about Christmas..."

Jay seemed to consider that answer momentarily, before finally accepting it with a nod of his head. "This really it then; for you & Callum?" His tone had softened, as if sensing there was more to the relationship break up than met the eye.

"Yeah," Ben shoved Jay's phone back across the desk towards him. "Yeah it is..." Neither of them missed the fact there was a sadness in his voice, rather than any sort of bravado.

Jay picked up his mobile phone & made to move out of his chair, but suddenly paused. "Y'alright?" Despite all of their joking about & petty squabbles, they both knew he really did care.

Ben squirmed his weight about in his seat, then grimaced. "Don't waste your concern on me Bruv, save it for Callum instead..." He had to swallow down hard at managing to utter the man's name.

Jay looked puzzled. "You've split up with 'im & now you're tellin' me to be his shoulder to cry on?"

"Just check in with 'im, yeah? He don't need to know I asked ya to, & I don't want to know anythin' of what's said..." A determined expression spread across Ben's features. "Just...be a good mate to him, please..."

Jay mulled over the request, then expelled a sigh. "Ok, I'll give 'im a bit of space for a while, then I'll check in with 'im".  
Ben gave an appreciative nod.

"Now anythin' else ya wanna add to me list of jobs, or can I eat me sarnie in peace now?" Jay wisecracked as he ventured over to his own desk. Ben's silence confirmed to him there was something else.

"Come on then, spit it out..." Jay tore into the excessive wrapping around his now at best lukewarm sandwich. "What else d'ya want muggins 'ere to do?" Almost salivating over the prospect of eating it, Jay lifted the sandwich towards his mouth.  
"Tell Lola for me..." Ben's sheepish request suddenly filled the room.

Jay dropped the sandwich from his hands: so near, yet so far. "Jeez bruv; at this rate I'm surprised ya didn't 'av me dumping Callum for ya too..."

The facetious comment fell on deaf ears as Ben stared at Jay imploringly. "Please? I can't face the hysterics..."  
"Says Walford's biggest drama queen..." Jay mumbled under his breath, before addressing his brother more clearly. "And what exactly am I s'posed to tell 'er. Reckon I barely know half the story after all..."

Ben stood up, swiping up his coat from the back of his chair, & moving towards the door as he shrugged himself into it. "Just tell her I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't know when he's onto a good thing..." He snatched at the door handle, offering one last line before leaving. "Might as well give the people what they wanna hear..."

Jay's brow furrowed as the slam of the door reverberated around the portakabin. As per usual, he was suspecting all wasn't as it seemed when it came to Ben Mitchell.


	82. Chapter 82

##  Unseen scene of 24/12/19

Jay set himself down by the desk in the funeral parlour office, but offered no words. 

After several awkward minutes of Callum shuffling papers & pushing pens around, resolutely refusing to look up & engage, the taller man finally caved. "Alright boss?"

Jay gave a wry smile. "Reckon I should be the one askin' you that question really..."

Callum let the pen in his hand slip from his grasp & watched it clatter down onto the desk, then roll erratically along it. With a deep-rooted sigh, he then sat back in his chair & looked across at the other man for the first time. "He told you then..." expelling the statement through a huff of exasperated air.

Jay grimaced. "If you're referrin' to my eejit of a brother, yeah he's told me...He ain't said much mind..."  
"At least he's bein' consistent then..." Callum mused. "Didn't exactly give me much of an explanation either... "

The silence returned as both men pondered over what they wanted, or felt able, to say. Each was guarding some of Ben's confidences after all. Callum in particular sensing the little he did know of recent events could be damaging to Ben if it got out, so still loyally safeguarding the man he loved. Even if it was his brother he was talking to.

"I told him I'm in love with him Jay..." Callum confided eventually, oh so quietly.  
Jay expressed a rueful smile with a nod of his head. _Already know that mate..._ was the response he wanted to give, but he settled on an alternative. "That don't surprise me, Lo & me were only sayin' the other day we thought the two of ya were in deep..."

"I thought we were too," Callum's features momentarily threatened to crumple, but he pulled himself back from the brink. "Turns out Ben reckons he was just passin' through..."

Jay offered a bemused shake of his head: it sounded like Ben had riddled his way out of the relationship, just as he’d given his explanation for doing so to Jay in riddles. Often with Ben it wasn't so much about what was said, as what wasn't.

"Yeah," Callum continued, spurred on by the other man's apparent confusion. "Don't make any sense to me neither..."

"Ya know, Ben ain't exactly free & easy when it comes to bein' honest about his feelins' mate..." Jay volunteered what he hoped was an insightful comment.

Callum though shook his head dismissively. "He is though; with me he is..." His tone suddenly became heavy with regret. "Well he is usually..."

Jay already knew there was little he could give here but support. "I wish I had all the answers for ya mate, really I do..."  
Callum conceded the smallest of smiles, appreciative Jay had made the effort nonetheless.

"If it's worth anythin' to ya at all, I think Ben's beatin' himself up over what he's done..." Jay tried again.  
"Ain't sure if that's a comfort or not," Callum shrugged. "Ain't exactly gonna change anythin' is it?"

Jay pursed his lips, knowing even the most eternal of optimists would struggle to argue that one. "Who knows eh?" he settled on. "Maybe given a bit of time & breathing space..."

Callum nodded, albeit in uncertain acceptance that would be the case. "Actually Jay, as you're here, can I ask a big favour?"

Jay braced himself; he seemed to spend much of his life running other people's favours at the moment. He was on one right now, after all. "Yeah sure," he agreed pensively.

Callum regathered the pen into his hand & began to tap it nervously against the desk. "Thing is, I've still got all that leave owed, from the honeymoon that wasn't, & I was thinkin'..."

'You wanna take the extra time off over Christmas?" Jay interjected.  
"More after Christmas really..." Callum corrected. "Big Nige is pretty much down to cover the Festive period solo already. I was thinkin' more about some extra time off into the New Year..."

Jay whistled through an intake of breath. "Busy time of year in these parts...Christmas & New Year tend to be lucrative earners when it comes to death..."

"Please Jay..." Callum began to entreat. "I really need to get away & clear me head for a bit...I reckon Stu would be glad of the extra shifts..." He could sense the reticence, so pushed again, with something he hoped would be a little more persuasive. "Got meself arrested last night, so really need to get away before I repeat that particular party trick..."

"Ya did what?" Of all the things Jay had been expecting to hear, it certainly wasn't that.  
"ABH…" Callum began to explain. "Have to wait now on whether he'll press charges..."

"On who'll press charges?" Jay raised a questioning eyebrow.  
"Leo - that weirdo who's been harassing Whit..."  
"Wow..." Jay really wasn't sure what else he could say to that revelation, so just allowed his brow to furrow instead. "A criminal record though, that might just be enough to impress Ben mind...The pair of ya could mix & match..." He couldn't ever resist a quip in the face of adversity.

Callum shook his head disapprovingly, running his tongue along his suddenly parched lower lip. He'd keep it to himself that a not insignificant factor in his being riled enough to go after Leo had been the furtive glances exchanged broodingly with Ben across the Vic.

"So, can I have the time...please?" Callum pressed for the answer he wanted. Needed.  
"Course ya can bud; I'd of given it to ya even without the arrest revelation, ya know..." Jay smirked warmly.

"Cheers Jay; I really appreciate it…” Callum finally exhaled a long breath of relief. “Probably should get me head down & finish all this paperwork before I go then…” He waved a random sheet of paper in evidence,  
“Where ya plannin’ on headin’?” Jay took the hint, starting to rise to his feet.  
“Just catchin’ up with a few old Army mates,” Callum shrugged. “Nothin’ special; just a bit of time away from here…”

Jay nodded his apparent understanding of that sentiment. “Well, Merry Christmas then mate…” He stepped forward to offer an embrace.  
“Merry Christmas Jay…” Callum smiled warmly, even if he wasn’t feeling in the least bit festive, & he stood to return the hug.


	83. Chapter 83

##  Unseen scene merging into actual scene of 24/12/19

Ben bustled through the ever-darkening streets, a casual pipe dream running through his mind. 

Thoughts of him & Callum, taking themselves far away from the micro climate of Walford. Somewhere far enough away that reputations stood for nothing; where family were simply the people you chose to have around you, rather than those you were bound to by blood.

Ben was quite frankly sick & tired of shepherding his father around the minefield that was _Who's the daddy?_ During the course of the day Phil had pretty much fired off a silent accusation at every bloke in the Square, with Ben growing listless at stepping in to cool him down.

Which was why the thought of just up & leaving seemed so appealing right now. Maybe with words of apology & assurances of being better in the future, Ben could talk Callum round. Reverse the devastation of the previous days.

Maybe.

Maybe.

He was so preoccupied with the notion, he hadn't even realised the direction his feet were taking him at first. Hadn't even noticed the obscene amount of Christmas illuminations outside the flat. Hadn’t even noticed that his body was deliberately frogmarching him back towards where the light shone so bright.

But he had clocked Callum, & as the man stood before him as actual flesh & blood once more, rather than just an idealised figure in Ben's mind, the younger man jolted himself from his musings. 

This was his reality - their reality - now, & no amount of daydreaming was going to fix it. 

“What are you doin’ here?”  
“I wasn’t… just passin’…coincidence…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Distinct possibility there'll be another chapter up later today, if you're all very good!


	84. Chapter 84

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Don't get caught out - this is the second chapter posting of today!
> 
> Thought I'd take advantage of tonight's EastEnders drought to keep pushing momentum on here...

##  Actual scene of 24/12/19

“Ben!” Callum wasn’t prepared to either accept the man’s half-hearted excuse, or let him skulk back off into the shadows without one last attempt at reconciliation. “Ain’t you even gonna ask where I’m goin’?”  
Turning back to face the elder man, Ben cut a forlorn figure. “None of my business…”

Utterly exasperated, Callum didn’t know whether to approach with caution or fight, so settled on voicing the sad irony playing on his mind. “Do you remember when you called me a coward? Shoe’s on the other foot now, ain’t it?”  
His assertion was met with a still silence; the younger man standing to take his punishment.  
“You are scared Ben. Plain & simple, you are scared of fallin’ in love…”

Ben’s reaction to Callum’s latest declaration came in the form of widening, fearful eyes, accompanied by an almost imperceptible shake of the head. Still though he spoke no words.  
His silence was what made it hardest of all, so Callum pushed again. “What? No sarcy comment; no little put down? What?”

Callum saw the man in front of him falter at that, Ben’s head dipping to look down at the floor. They both knew the elder man had seen through the pretence. 

Unable to find any further words to press home his point, Callum gave a frustrated shake of his head & reached for his rucksack, unzipping it with purposeful force. “I got you this…” He stepped forward into the other man’s space to hand over his Christmas gift.  
“What is it?” Ben, reduced to little more than a childlike enquiry, took it with uncertainty.  
“Just open it tomorrow…” Callum felt he had said all he could on their plight, so turned to walk away.

“Where you goin’?”  
He was stopped in his tracks by Ben’s pained enquiry; for a moment at least the younger man had forgotten himself.  
“I dunno yet…” Callum expelled a huffed breath. “Head to the station & follow my feet…” He was following his feet in that moment, as they returned him into Ben’s space once more. “Be spontaneous for once…”

Agonising seconds then seemed to pass, as Ben tried to psyche himself up to something in the acrid silence between them. Callum not able to help but notice the tender attention the man’s fingers were paying to the gift within them, stroking along it time & time again.

Eventually, the elder man could wait no longer, so forced the issue, breaking the silence by loudly re-sealing the zip on his bag. It was now or never as far as he was concerned. “Should I bother comin’ back?”

Finally, for the first time, Ben’s gaze rose to look him directly in the eye, & for the most fleeting of moments, it seemed both men were actually willing to believe. 

The harsh ring tone of Ben’s mobile almost instantly broke through the spell though. 

As he took in the identity of the caller, Ben delivered his damning verdict. “Not on my account”. 

Disheartened & disappointed, yet somehow unsurprised, Callum implored one last time. “You can’t run away from your feelings forever, Ben…” An irresistible flutter of hope surged through his heart as he noticed the call continue to go unanswered, Ben seemingly mid deliberation; broken words threatening to cascade breathlessly from his lips.

But the words never came, just a look of defiance, as the younger man answered his phone. “Dad…” He began to walk away without another glance, phone pressed to his ear. “Alright, I’m comin’…”

Callum forlornly watched his man retreat into the darkness, but as the realisation hit that in the case of the Mitchells blood really was thicker than water, he could bear to look no more, so turned & himself walked away.  



	85. Chapter 85

##  Unseen scene of 24/12/19

Of the people he'd told he was leaving Walford for a while, Callum had told only one the actual truth: that being Ben, of course. While he would get around to catching up with Army mates, he had no firm arrangements in place as yet. Contrary to what he had led Stuart & Jay to believe.

He would see where his feet took him & go from there, although he already had a definite sense of the first person he would be calling on.

As a tannoy announcement began to ring out across the Tube train he was travelling on though, he started to curse the poor execution in his planning.

_"Passengers are reminded this service will terminate in three stops time. London Underground is now operating a reduced festive timetable; services will resume as standard on 27th December. May we take this opportunity to wish all passengers a very Merry Christmas"._

Callum grumbled inwardly, knowing he only really had himself to blame. He'd planned to leave well before darkness fell, but had side-tracked himself with wrapping his gift for Ben.

Unexpectedly then running into the man himself had delayed Callum further, although for a few precious moments in their conversation he had dared to dream it wouldn't matter anyway: that Ben was on the verge of erasing all the hurt & asking him to stay.

That was what hurt the most, Callum supposed: the flashes of vulnerability, of second thoughts, he kept seeing flit across Ben's eyes, only for the mask of indifference to then slip over them again.

Callum fought back a sniff, deciding this wasn't a time for self-pity; there'd be plenty of time for that in the coming days. What he needed now was a plan of action. 

He glanced up at the Underground map above him, & made the rough calculation in his head that if he alighted the train at its terminating station, that should leave him with around a thirty-minute walk to the broad area he wanted to reach.

It wasn't a part of London he was familiar with, so he'd just have to hope that once there he might find a budget hotel or similar in the vicinity.

He glanced at his phone, momentarily tricking himself into believing it had just beeped. One word from Ben would have him turn straight back around & hightail it back to Walford after all.

There'd been something so careful, so attentive, in the way Ben's hand had clung to the gift he'd given him that meant hope still sprung eternal in Callum's heart. Surely it had to mean something, that Ben hadn't simply cast the gift aside, or worse still refused to accept it...

The insistent tannoy announcement played out again, shattering through Callum's thoughts. Indicating this time that there was now just one stop between the train & its terminating station.

Callum let out a heavy sigh, & tried not to dwell that this Christmas looked like being anything but merry.


	86. Chapter 86

##  Unseen scene of 24/12/19

Things were now definitely not going to plan. The part of London Callum had abandoned to was more industrial than either residential or tourist-focused. There didn't seem to be so much as a letting house in sight, let alone the inviting comforts of a b&b. 

Even a trawl of one of the large industrial estates had failed to yield the haven of a Big Sleep hotel or similar.

Callum could almost hear Ben laugh, criticising his romanticised naivety when it came to these things. His optimism that there was always light at the end of the tunnel. 

_That's how it is in your world, but never in mine.._ "Maybe our worlds are closer together than you actually gave credit Ben..." Callum mused under his breath as he reconfigured the plan in his head yet again.

A street sign a while back had indicated he was now within shooting distance of his destination, while a glance at his phone indicated it was somehow already 8.30pm.

The streets he found himself amongst were eerily quiet: no sign of festive decorations like those festooning Walford; no revellers celebrating Christmas Eve. Just locked up warehouses & unfrequented forecourts.

Callum knew he'd passed a gated park a few minutes back though, so ventured off in that direction.

As he set himself down on a bench within the park, he could only laugh ruefully to himself that this really did look like being a Christmas like no other.

Still, it was unseasonably mild for the time of year, & let's face it, he'd bedded down for nights in less hospitable places than this during Army tours.

Taking an old faithful hoodie from his rucksack, he slipped himself into it - for comfort as much as warmth - then rootled about in the bag again, producing a bottle of whiskey he'd obtained by stealth from Stuart & Rainie's gluttonous stock of Christmas goodies.

Unscrewing the bottle's lid, he took a lingering swig, grimacing at the burn it caused in his throat.

"Merry Christmas Stu..." he raised the bottle by means of thanks to his brother, then spoke again in quieter tones. "Merry Christmas Ben...let's just hope your prediction of snowfall in my quaint little world don't come true tonight, eh?"


	87. Chapter 87

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

"So I've met someone actually..." Long-lost platitudes extended, Callum settled himself down & made his admission, having set off at barely after first light to reach his destination. "He's bolshie, uncompromising, obnoxious..." A sniff escaped Callum's features. "But he's also beautiful, compassionate, giving..." 

Callum looked off ruefully into the middle distance then permitted himself a small laugh. "Who am I tryin' to kid eh Chris? You'd hate him..." He placed a hand affectionately to the stone marking his friend's grave, & let it rest there.

"His name's Ben: you'd call him an arrogant prick & me a complete sap for lettin' myself fall for him...Problem is I have fallen for him & am completely & utterly in love with him..."

Callum let his raised hand slip from the gravestone & he began to busy himself with picking away the small clusters of weeds that had started to gather around his friend's plot.

"I told him I'm in love with him the other night...He's got this whole load of family nonsense goin' on though, & he uses it as a smokescreen to hide his own feelings behind..."

Callum let out a whimsical laugh. "Bet that sounds uncomfortably familiar to you though, don't it? Bein' close to someone who can't, won't, admit how they really feel..."

He again paused his monologue in an attempt to cough out the choked emotion in his voice. "I am so sorry about that Chris; that I couldn't open up & admit who I really was to you..."

He sighed forlornly. "Guess we both know how unrequited love feels now, even if deep down both of us knew the other person in the relationship wasn't bein' honest about how they really felt...Me with you back then; Ben with me now..."

The emotions caught up in that thought suddenly felt too much to bear, so Callum opted to distract from the melancholy. "So I bet your Christmas Eve was better than mine? I spent it holed up on a park bench, with just a bottle of whiskey that I nabbed from Stu's Christmas stash for company..."

Callum paused, as if suddenly tired of the one-sided conversation, then picked its thread up again. "Ah yours was equally quiet too was it? Guess that makes us a right pair, don't it?"

He gazed fondly at the engraving on the headstone, quietly reading the words it contained. "You'd laugh, but this is what I do for a livin' now..." He traced a finger delicately along the letters of the man's name. "Someone's done a good job of this for you, I'm glad to see..."

Callum paused again, expelling a deep-rooted sigh, & then glancing at his watch. "Ben's probably knee deep in discarded wrappin' paper by now; Lexi - that's his little girl - will of been spoilt rotten on the Christmas present front. I left her a little somethin' under their tree actually..." A sniff escaped his features at the thought. "I hope she likes it..."

"She's a bright little spark is Lex; got all the best qualities of her Dad in her, plus all the goodness that is her Mum too. She's the sort of kid who will be brilliant at whatever she puts her mind to when she's older. Ya know the type?"

Callum stopped talking for a while, as a family group at first seemed to be approaching them, but then diverted on by to approach a distantly neighbouring grave. He offered & received back from them kindly smiles of shared understanding of just how difficult loss could be at this time of year.

Just as he was about to speak again, Callum heard his phone begin to ring in his pocket. He fished it out, with an apologetic glance to his friend's headstone, then looked to see who was calling him.

He was touched, if a little surprised, by the name he saw lighting up the screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for those who enjoyed the bumper weekend of posting from a couple of week's ago - history may just repeat itself this weekend...


	88. Chapter 88

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

"Ya really sure this is a good idea?" Jay made his guarded enquiry of Lola as he stood at the internal doorway of the Beales' kitchen, keeping his voice at a whisper to prevent anyone overhearing. 

Lola hissed back at her boyfriend abruptly. "She wants to do it, & I ain't spoilin’ her Christmas Day for the sake of her Dad's ego...Now go & keep Ben busy for a few minutes, will ya?"

Jay glanced uncertainly in the direction of Lexi, who was clutching her mother's phone fiercely to her ear, waiting for the ringing tone to be answered as she stood expectantly in the middle of the kitchen.

"Callum?" the little girl suddenly spoke tentatively down the line. "It's Lexi; is that you?"

Realising contact had been made & there was little point in voicing any further argument, Jay backed out of the room, leaving mother & daughter alone to make their clandestine phone call 

"Lexi?" Callum's cautious enquiry stuttered down the line. "Does, er, does your Mummy know you've called me from her phone?"  
"Yes of course she does silly!" Lexi giggled. "Mummy's right here with me!" The little girl's voice then softened. "Happy Christmas Callum...” 

"Happy Christmas Lex," he returned equally softly, unable to resist Ben's daughter's charm, even if this was a really bad idea. "Did Father Christmas bring you everything you wanted?"

"He brought me my very own unicorn Callum!" she affirmed happily. "How special must I be to get my very own unicorn?"

"Really special I reckon..." Callum confirmed gently, brushing away a sudden rush of emotion from his features, in the knowledge that had been a present Ben had stowed away in his flat.

"And he gave me the present you left me too..." Lexi continued to confide. "You never told me you know Father Christmas Callum!"  
"Ah well," Callum chuckled, besotted as ever by this little girl. "Can't go givin' away all me secrets now can I?"

Lexi wasn't done with her interrogation yet though. "But you said you didn't win first prize on the stall at the Christmas fair..."

"Went back & had another go just for you didn't I?" Callum smiled down the phone, hoping the rising emotion he was feeling wasn't evident in his voice.  
"I can't believe you did that for me Callum, I'm so happy you did...." the little girl continued to chime enthusiastically. 

With every time her daughter uttered Callum's name down the telephone, Lola shifted her weight a little more uncomfortably, knowing they were on borrowed time before Ben realised what was happening.

To say Lola was miffed that Ben had broken up with Callum was an understatement of the highest level, but she didn't want petty indifference & squabbles ripping through the family at Christmas.

"I thought you was gonna be here with us today Callum; why ain't you here?" Lexi suddenly querìed sadly. 

The million dollar question the man had known would be coming but he had little idea of how to respond to. Callum thought he heard Lola fire off a warning tone in the background for the little girl to tread carefully.

"I," Callum began to stutter out a response, knowing all too well the effect emotional dishonesty could have on an impressionable child. "I had to go away for a bit..." He settled on committing as little detail as possible.

"But at Christmas time?" Lexi was unimpressed. "Why would you have to go away at Christmas time?"  
"Because sometimes that's just how it has to be when you're a grown up sweetie..." It was a feeble response & he knew it.

"When do you get back though Callum?" she pressed again. "You could come over when you get back..."  
"Oh, I, I ain't really sure yet..." He should have known how tenacious she'd be, rather than be caught so off guard by her directness.

"Can't you come back & make my Daddy happy again Mr Sunshine?" There it was: the killer line delivered by a seven-year-old akin to an assassin, with her deadly aim.  
"You know I'd be there if I could right?" Callum sniffed back the emotion from his voice.

The line fell silent for a few moments, to the extent Callum was left wondering if it had dropped off, before Lexi spoke again, this time in a conspiratorial whisper. "You'd come if my Daddy asked you to, wouldn't you?"

Callum expelled a heavy sigh, knowing the little lady he was talking to was too perceptive for her own good. "In a heartbeat..." he whispered in answer to her question, then swiftly followed his words up. "But that's our little secret, ok?"

"Ok Callum..." Lexi agreed with an earnest nod of her head. "Our little secret... "

They both fell silent again as Callum ruefully contemplated what his world was reduced to right now: confiding his inner thoughts & feelings between a dead person & a seven-year-old girl. Quite frankly though both seemed to offer more sense than anything Ben had said of late.

"Listen Lex, is your Mummy there?" Callum shook himself down, recalling that he was supposed to be the adult here. "Can I have a word with her?"

"Yes, I'll put her on now. Happy Christmas Callum!" And with that, accompanied by the scrambling sound of the phone being passed across, the little girl was gone.

"Callum?" Lola then greeted him uncertainly down the phone. "Where are you?"  
"With a mate..." the return came; it was no word of a lie really.  
"And are you ok?" she questioned again. 

"I'm ok..." Callum affirmed through a long breath. A hush then threatened to form as he ran through the whys & wherefores of the question on his tongue, deciding ultimately to just ask it anyway. "How's Ben?"

Lola huffed, clearly unimpressed. "You really want my character assessment of that man right now, after what he's done to you? He's a prize dick Callum. A selfish, heartless prize dick if you want my opinion..."

"I'll take it that's the edited highlights yeah?" Callum couldn't resist a chuckle even though her feisty assessment of Ben hit hard. It meant a lot to know Ben had people around him who were willing to voice sense & fight back against fire with fire. Yet still, Callum had a nagging sense that Ben also needed support right now.

"Just, just don't be too hard on him Lo..." he made his request quietly.  
She shook her head disbelievingly. "How can you even still say that?"

Silence ensued yet again, as unbeknown to Lola, Callum gazed intently at the headstone of Chris's grave, psyching himself up to put right a wrong of his past. "Because I love him, Lo..." he suddenly declared with a tone of firm conviction. "So please, wherever his head's at right now, just look after him for me".

Lola opened her mouth to voice a response, but found herself distracted by the door opening &, predictably enough, Ben skulking through. "Don't mind me..." he grumbled out, before ransacking a nearby cupboard for a glass.

Observing Ben warily, Lola again made to speak down the phone, but found Callum beat her to it. "Say you'll do that for me Lo, please?" His voice quiet but pleading.

Lola didn't know if it was her imagination, but she could have sworn Ben seemed to still in the instant Callum spoke, although it seemed unlikely he'd be able to hear him.

"Yeah," she agreed quietly. "I'll do that for you..." Already deciding swiftly though that she should probably curtail the conversation there. "Anyway, should probably leave you to your Christmas Day..."

"Sure," Callum concurred, sensing she was suddenly more guarded, & putting two & two together that Ben must have entered her vicinity. "Take care Lo, & Happy Christmas..."

"Happy Christmas..." she returned softly, terminating the call as she looked on at Ben, who stood with hands braced to the kitchen counter, glass still empty of any liquid.

"Right then..." she swiped her hands together decisively, while putting on her brightest voice. “Time to get openin' some more presents, don't ya reckon?"

Ben half glanced up at her. "Thought I was in the doghouse & you ain't talkin' to me..." He offered with a casual sniff.

"Yeah well," she smiled wryly. "I reckon you probably already know what a dumb mistake you've made, so you probably don't need me rubbin' it in too..."

She didn't wait for a response, starting to edge her way towards the sitting room, but was stopped in her tracks as Ben spoke again. "Lo..." he coughed to clear his throat of the lump that had suddenly appeared in it. "Is he alright?"

She leant her head inquisitively to the side, absorbing the knowledge Ben had realised who she was on the phone to all along, but instead of being perturbed by it seemed almost relieved.

"Come 'ere ya fool..." she raised an arm outwards to beckon him in for a hug, which he accepted without question. "He's fine..." she whispered softly at his ear. "Misses you for some crazy reason though. God pity 'im..."


	89. Chapter 89

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B: Back by popular demand, it's another weekend of multiple chapter posts for your delectation/enjoyment/angst-ridden descent into emotional meltdown (select as appropriate), so don't get caught out! 
> 
> This is the second chapter posted today, a third to follow later...

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

Callum tucked his phone away in his jacket pocket, then looked back wistfully at the grave's headstone. "Ya see? I can say them things now that I wouldn't, couldn't say to you back in the day. I'm sorry it's all come too late for ya, but I hope you're proud of me..." 

He gave a loud sniff & rubbed his nose against his sleeve, before looking upwards, where a brilliant blue sky was forming alongside of the watery winter sunshine. "Ben made me see who I really am & has helped me become who I am today, so however much of a knob you might think he is, take a second look some time & see what it is I see...Who it is I see..."

Callum traced his tongue between his lips. "And if ya happen across Ben's ex Paul while yer up there, let him know I'm takin' good care of Ben. Precious cargo & that...he'll get what I mean..."

He stared at the unseasonably bright sky for a few further seconds, then let his gaze slip back to the ground. "Spillin' me guts out to a dead man & givin' me secrets away to a seven-year-old kid, whatever next eh?" he chuckled ruefully as he gave voice to his earlier thought.

"Callum?" He was plucked from the notion at the sound of someone speaking his name. Looking up, he had to shield his eyes from the sun to make out the figure standing before him.

'Vicky!" he exhaled a breathy exclamation, surging to his feet to greet her, brushing random bits of dust & grass from himself as he rose. "It's good to see you..." It was a sentiment uttered with genuine meaning.

"You too..." she immediately returned, accepting the friendliest of hugs from her lost brother's friend. "I'm so glad you came to see Chris, & really touched you thought to do it on Christmas Day..." They drifted apart & she eyed Callum expectantly.

"Yeah well," Callum smiled bashfully. "Chris here was the catalyst for a lot of change in my life this year, so I thought it only right I came & told him about it in person..."

"Change?" Vicky gently questioned, half quizzical, half knowing. "What sort of change? I mean, only f you don't think I'm pryin'..."

Callum gave a shake of his head to indicate he thought no such thing. "Well, since I last saw ya, me wedding got called off, I came out as gay, got meself a boyfriend..." He reeled the list off, to her obvious relief & delight.

"Oh Callum, that's huge!" she greeted his news warmly.  
"Yeah, I guess it is!" He gave an affirming chuckle.

"So, did the world stop turning when you came out?" she lightly teased, knowing full well the hang ups Callum had been in possession of.

"Nah," he grinned. "The world kept turnin', I didn't grow a second head, & am even on pretty good terms with Whit, me ex fiancé, now..."

"Well I'm guessing she wasn't ever likely to hold it against you for long, a kind-hearted soul like you. It's no wonder Chris fell for you..." Vicky beamed, suddenly giving off the air of the older sister Callum wished he had.

He blushed freely at her compliment. "Well she didn't exactly take it great at the time, but she gets it now..."

Vicky remained fascinated by his news, so continued to push. "And you've got yourself a boyfriend now have ya? Didn't take you long to fledge, did it?"

Callum's expression slipped from proud to pensive. "Had a boyfriend," he emphasised the past tense. "He dumped me a couple of days ago..."

Her eyes widened in surprise, but she offered no comment.  
"Go on," he gave a dry laugh. "Ya might as well sat it; everyone else has, after all …He must be a complete shit for droppin' me like that at this time of year..."

She stepped forward a little to press a gentle hand to his elbow "Ain't that what you think as well then?"

Callum's eyes looked from grave to sky, then back to Vicky. "Nah, cos as I was just explainin' to your brother 'ere, I'm the mad sap who just happens to be crazy in love with the guy..."

"Oh Callum..." she appeased apologetically. "Is there no hope you'll work things out?"  
"There's always hope on my part..." he kicked one foot against the other. "But not until he admits some stuff to 'imself, let alone me..."

"Does this fella have a name?" she enquired gently.  
"Ben..." Callum was powerless to avoid the sigh that escaped his lips. "His name's Ben..."

"Well..." she mused out loud. "This Ben don't sound a million miles away from how it was for our Chris with you, does he? If there are things he's strugglin' to admit, just like you were with Chris, maybe you can be the one to show him the way. Seein' as you've experienced it from both sides..."

Callum shook his head. "Oh no, he ain't in the closet, he's very much out & proud..."  
"Doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't know the way to get him to open up though, does it?" she continued to counsel. "I mean, what would Chris of needed to give you, to persuade you to come out?"

Callum bit down on his lip, trying to pinpoint what it was Ben had given him that Chris had struggled to. "Courage, maybe..." he volunteered quietly.  
"So," she smiled her encouragement. "Is it courage that Ben needs now too?"

"Nah," Callum couldn't resist a laugh. "He's a right cocky shit, so no shortage of courage there..."  
"So think on then," she too laughed, noticing the obvious affection Callum held this man in. "What is it he needs from you?"

Callum returned to scuffing his feet together, as he gave the question some serious thought. "I...I just don't know..." he revealed, defeated in tone.

"It'll come to ya, I reckon, given a bit of time & space..." she suggested supportively.  
"Maybe..." he shrugged despondently, then intentionally lifted his tone. "Anyway, sorry: here I am monopolisin' your time with Chris. I should leave ya to it..."

"Off back to your brother's?" she queried easily.  
"Nah, not really in the mood to watch him & his girlfriend all over each other. Reckon I'll take a rain check on that & just bum about round here for the day". 

He leant down to pick up his rucksack from the floor. "It's been really lovely to see ya though Vicky. I'm glad I came".  
"Likewise me too," she offered with a smile. "I hope things work out for you & Ben".

"Yeah," Callum's brow began to furrow. "Yeah, me too..." Swinging the bag over his shoulder, he raised a hand to hold it place, while leaning over to place a kiss to her cheek. "Ben or no Ben though, I'll always reserve a special place in me heart for this one..." He gestured his free hand in the direction of the grave.

"I know you will Callum," she affirmed, then watched on quietly as the tall man started to take his leave from her: shoulders slumped, posture resigned. It seemed so uncharacteristic of the bright, exuberant man her brother had often spoken of. 

Glancing across to her brother's grave, she addressed it at a whisper. "I’m gonna do this for you yeah..." She promptly returned her attention to the slow retreating figure, calling out after him. "Callum..."  
He stopped & turned back to look at her, somewhat confused.  
"There's a Bernard Matthews turkey crown & few bottles of beer back at mine, if you fancy it?"

He was touched by her offer but felt duty bound to refuse it. "I can't accept that," he started with an apologetic shake of his head. "It's Christmas after all..."

She took a few steps forward then gave her response. "It's precisely because it is Christmas that I'm offerin’. Chris would never forgive me if I didn’t. So, what d’ya say?”

Callum expelled a breath of near relief at the realisation he wouldn’t have to spend Christmas Day by himself after all. “I say yes, on one very firm condition…”  
“Which is?”  
“Ya let me do the cooking?” he smiled. “Might as well put me old Army skills to good use after all”.

“Now that sounds like my kind of deal!” she laughed warmly. “Chris always reckoned you were an amazin’ cook…”  
“Oh yeah?” Callum raised an inquisitive eyebrow, casting an eye back in the direction of his fallen friend’s grave. “Told ya sister that, but never once mentioned it to me, did ya mate?”


	90. Chapter 90

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Third chapter uploaded today - so hit reverse if you've not been keeping up!
> 
> Enjoy, or endure, the angst...

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

Ben embraced his brother outside the Queen Vic as if his very life depended on it.   
"Whoa, easy does it fella..." Jay prized himself away, fearing suffocation. "You had one too many festive sherbets?"  
"In lieu of a Christmas present...." Ben remarked vaguely.  
"Ya got me a Christmas present numb skull," his brother retorted with a shake of the head. 'Seriously, where's your head at today? It's Callum, ain't it?"

Ben raised his gaze to the sky & ran his tongue against the back of his teeth as he took in a long breath of air. "Don't wanna talk about him". He let out a nonchalant sniff of defiance, but the look in his eyes betrayed him.

"Maybe try talkin' to Callum himself then, yeah?" Jay offered his subtle advice, reinforcing it with a squeeze to his brother's shoulder. "Ya sure ya ain't comin' to Bill's for a nightcap; see out the dregs of Christmas Day in style?"

"Nah, you're alright," Ben wearily drew a hand along his face. "I'm just gonna hit the sack..."  
"Right, well see ya round yours for Boxing Day board games tomorrow. We're all under strict instructions from Little Miss not to be late!"

"Sounds about right," Ben gave a fond smile at the thought of his daughter. "Night Bruv..."  
"Night Bruv..."  
They gave one another a mutual back slap & set off in their different directions.

_You've done it..._ Ben reminded himself pensively as his feet carried him along. _You've kept yourself & the family visible in plain sight all day. The hardest bit is over..._

He'd thrown himself into the role, ensuring the visible presence of himself & the family around the Square all day. Steadily, he'd despatched them on their way - Lou, with Peggy first - walking them safely home for the night. Instructions left with his sister that she should spend the evening on the phone to her Mum - another part of her alibi ticked off.

Next, Lexi & Lola: delivered safely for a night at Billy's, under the pretence of the importance of Lexi spending time with all differing factions of her family at Christmas.

Later, Phil, with Dennis in tow, had taken his leave from the pub, ensuring all & sundry knew his business was to retire to bed without so much as a second glance.

All of which had just left Ben & Jay - the former had been selfish here, keeping his brother present for as long as possible. For the company; for the distraction; for the solidarity. Jay was unknowing of anything that had gone on, but wouldn't ever leave Ben's side.

Just as Callum, if only Ben had let him.

Jay had just wrongly assumed Ben's affection towards him to be alcohol fuelled; in truth, it was born solely out of a desperation not to feel alone.

Ben had in fact nursed the same pint for much of the night: needing to maintain a clear head throughout. That was his role in the family's revenge plot after all. While Phil lost his head to vengeance, & Louise struggled with the emotional rollercoaster of new motherhood, Ben held it together for both of them.

He felt peculiarly numb as he stepped into the Beale household; expecting to feel something - whether the buzz of adrenaline, the nag of regret, or the flood of relief he wasn't sure - but he expected to feel...

Something.

Anything.

The house was in darkness, all occupants long since gone to bed. Ben switched on the lights of the Christmas tree - there was something intrinsically sad, lonely, devoid of purpose in an unlit tree. He then settled in the armchair at the far end of the room, leaning his head back against it.

The sensation of a ghost at play consumed him instantly: large, warm hands rubbing soothingly at his chest & shoulders. 

"Go back to bed babe..." the ghostly words echoed through his mind, although spoken this time by Callum.  
Ben bit down a tremble on his lip as he uttered the response out at a choked whisper. "No point without you, is there?"

And then it hit him like a juggernaut.

All the feelings & sentiments he'd kept on lock down since his split from Callum suddenly came rushing out.

As he let out an anguished sob, the wish suddenly hit him not to feel anything anymore.


	91. Chapter 91

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the plan is for this to be another bumper posting day of 3 chapters - I am at risk of trailing way too far behind canon with so much content still to cover, hence the flurry!
> 
> Apologies to anyone this leaves with a monster amount of reading to do to catch up!
> 
> Now, it's time to address the elephant in the room & for so long canon's narrative...

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

There was a further ghostly reminder in the room; one that Ben couldn't tear his eyes from, try as he might. He bit down on the corner of his thumbnail as he gave the item due consideration. 

"I find it hard to be sincere..." he uttered apologetically into the silence of the room, gaze fixated on the wallet Callum had gifted him for Christmas. Reciting those familiar words was Ben's forlorn way of acknowledging to himself that any attempt at thanking Callum for the gift would only come up short. 

_I find it hard to be anything but..._ the memory of Callum's returned assertion echoed through the chambers of Ben’s mind. How right that was, given that even in the midst of their split the elder man had still given Ben this present: diligently wrapped; tenderly handled. 

_You're sweet; you've got a big heart..._

Ben rubbed his fingers antagonistically at his eyes, his hand then descending slowly down his face to pinch at his nose, as he recalled his description of the man. He couldn’t help but fear what portrayal of character Callum would associate him with now…

The wallet still sat where he had earlier left it; he’d discarded it having unwrapped it, not because of disinterest or disaffection, but because of just how much receiving it meant. Other than noticing the intricate inclusion of his own initials on its exterior, he hadn’t felt capable of exploring it, or his response to it, any deeper, for fear of revealing far more of himself than he felt able.

So he’d put it to one side: out of sight, out of mind. Much as he had fooled himself into thinking would be the case with Callum too. 

Just as Callum remained ever present in his psyche, on his conscience, about his skin, so the wallet now sat taunting, goading, daring Ben to take a second look…


	92. Chapter 92

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter updated today - another to come later - don't get caught out!

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

Ben surged his weight across the arm of the chair, unable to resist the lure of the wallet any longer. Snatching up both it & its discarded wrapping as one, he then resettled himself in the chair & began to pour over every detail of this most precious artefact in his slightly trembling hands.

It was of quality manufacturing, of that there was no doubt: certainly not something you’d pick up from one of the local market traders. One hundred percent leather, Ben strongly suspected, holding it to his nose to take in its smell: there were no notes of the toxins you’d associate with imitation leather; this had a subtle, earthy smell that spoke volumes of its class.

It was soft & pliable to the touch too: no awkward crinkling or creaking suggesting it would quickly deteriorate with use or handling. Every inch of it oozed a sense of longevity & sustainability: this thing was built to last.

Ben’s initials it appeared had been stencilled onto the wallet, evidently by a practitioner with any eye for flair & an attention to detail. There was no sense this was a quick cash-in-hand job from one of the Slaters.

Ben paused in his consideration of the wallet for a moment, eyes drawn instead to the unobtrusive gift tag still attached to the wrapping. He hadn’t read the tag at the time of opening, already knowing full well who the gift was from, given he himself had placed it under the tree in his haze of the night before. 

He sniffed a couple of times, then drew out a long, steadying breath, preparing himself for the unknown. 

With uncharacteristic trepidation, he slowly opened the gift tag to read it:

_Gifted with Pride;  
Ben, search inside…  
x. Always._

His movements stalled, intrinsically understanding there were several connotations to the message; its deeper meaning asserting that Ben take himself to a place he just couldn’t let himself be. 

Not yet. 

So he followed the more fundamental instruction of the message, carefully opening the wallet up to look inside it. His latest breath hitched as he found the photo Callum had placed within: a beaming shot of himself & Lexi, as taken by Callum in happier times.

Feeling a surge of emotion rising from deep within, Ben lay the wallet down in his lap & leant his head back to look up at the ceiling while he breathed in a number of choked, shallow breaths. A dark sense of multiple regrets beginning to tug away at him.

Once again, he found himself wishing he had the sincerity to counteract those regrets, or at least maybe those it wasn’t too late to absolve.  
  



	93. Chapter 93

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Chapter 3 of 3 for the day...

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

Callum sat propped up on a sofa bed in Vicky's bedsit, blanket covering him to the waist, the glow of his phone illuminating the darkness. Sleep, he knew, wasn't destined to come, so he was occupying himself with memories. 

The visual ones - photos of himself & Ben - were too hard to take, so he steered clear of the gallery on his phone, scrolling instead through their private messaging group 

It was a historical reference point for their time together: a chart of their courtship, evidencing it eventually flourishing into a full-blown relationship.

It contained everything. From the mundane - enquiries of what time one another were finishing work on a given day; to the outlandish - Ben's explicit descriptions of things he wanted to do to his man.

Callum flushed at the mere thought alone. Ben hadn't ever been backward in verbalising what he wanted. The first few times he was in receipt of an even vaguely sexual message, it had been all Callum could do to send back a blushing emoji, once his own blushing radiation was quelled.

With time though, as his confidence grew, he'd started to play along: his repertoire in the use of emojis expanding, eventually extending to responses that contained actual words. Private flirtations between them that they'd been able to progress any time, anywhere; all & sundry around them completely unsuspecting.

God, Callum missed every one of those exchanges - whether based on matters of daily routine, casual flirtation, or explicit thoughts - he missed them all. The skip of a heartbeat when a message bearing Ben's name came through; the sense of expectation as the ellipses danced on the screen, indicating his man was mid typing his next response.

Callum hadn't even realised the extent to which their exchange of messages had become part of their daily life. They had slipped into it effortlessly: a private running commentary between them whenever separated from each other. 

Callum chuckled in fond amusement at the recollection of Ben's impatience whenever the elder man was in attendance at a funeral: phone switched to silent in deference to the departed; notifications unread for the duration. 

Callum would often come back to the world of the living to find a barrage of inappropriate messages from Ben:

_Got my own stiff here that needs burying babe..._

_In need of a service of worship myself; any (under)takers?_

_Seriously babe, the geezer's brown bread. Ain't exactly gonna be inconvenienced if he's a few minutes late to his own funeral...Me, though, I will be highly inconvenienced in my current state..._

Tucked away in their messaging history were moments of real tenderness too. Ben's notations of encouragement a constant source of support to Callum in the days after he came out, while of late an increasing stream of motivation that Callum could reach his fitness target & fulfill his career aspirations.

He sighed despondently at the thought those messages were now all just relics of a time when they were happy. Twenty four hours plus since they had last seen each other, & Callum still couldn't get the final question he'd asked of Ben out of his mind.

_"Should I bother comin’ back?"_

Even more tellingly though, he couldn't shake off Ben's response.

_“Not on my account…”_

The truth was though that everything Callum did was of late increasingly on Ben's account, so there was now a large void without him that Callum had no idea how to fill.

Sniffing back several errant tears he hadn't even known to be falling, Callum glanced back at the display of messages in front of him, idly wondering.

Wondering how Ben's Christmas Day had been.

Wondering if the deed Ben felt duty bound to his father to undertake was done.

Wondering if there could eventually be a way back for them.

Through glistening eyes transfixed to his phone, Callum stared achingly at Ben's name on the screen, until the characters & words all seemed to blur into an indistinct fuzz.

Somewhere through the haze though, a subtle change caught Callum's attention; a rush of air hiccupping through his core at the realisation of what was happening.

The ellipses were dancing, which could only mean one thing...


	94. Chapter 94

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

_Thank you for the present, & I’m sorry…_

For the second time in the space of a minute, Ben typed out the message, then swiftly deleted it again. He let out a frustrated huff of air & tried to contemplate how anybody mustered the art of sincerity, let alone of heartfelt apology. 

Callum would be all over this sort of thing, of course, with a genuine tone & words that actually conveyed what he meant. It was ironic really: Ben, rarely lost for words or short of a turn of phrase, now couldn’t summon up any such thing when he most needed it.

He tried again.

_The wallet is…_

He started to backtrack with the delete button before he even finished the sentence this time, then began to retype more slowly, taking a pause for consideration between each line. Between each word sometimes.

_Thank you for the wallet._

_It’s perfect._

_I’m sorry I can’t live up to the standard it & you set_

He stared blankly at the words he’d typed, wondering how he’d even summoned them into his mind, let alone transcribed them onto the screen. His hand & mind stalling at how best to sign off the message – traditionally always done with the initial of his first name followed by a kiss when it came to Callum - but now he wasn’t so sure he deserved that privilege. 

He typed the two characters at the end of the message, then deleted them, over & over again.

\- - -

Callum remained transfixed to his phone, watching the ellipses as they continued to shuffle on the screen, while wiping the occasional tear away as it streamed down his cheek. Even though there was distance between them, he could sense indecision & uncertainty from Ben; found his own breath catching at the notion that whatever the other man was typing could be a game changer for them.

He couldn’t stay passive any longer, wanting more than anything for Ben to know that he was right there with him, just as he’d promised. _I will be anywhere that you are…_

Callum began to type out his own message, in the hope Ben would see the dancing ellipses, just as he had. It was a message Callum had no intention of sending, not unless Ben’s materialised first, but he at least wanted to reaffirm the sentiment in his own mind, & let Ben see he was there if he needed him.

_If you need me I am here. For you, I am always here…_

He wrote then deleted the message slowly, one, two, three times, holding out all hope Ben would see he was typing it. 

\- - -

Through vision blurred by tears, Ben watched every character he had typed evaporate on the screen before him as he deleted them excruciatingly one by one. He’d come up short once again: able to think up the sentiment, but unable to deliver it, ever fearful of how vulnerable, how exposed doing so would leave him.

As the final word disappeared from view, he voiced an apology that was nearly choked back by emotion. “I’m sorry…I truly am sorry…”

With that, he closed down the messaging app & gathered the wallet back up in his hands, stowing it safely away in his shirt pocket. He’d always keep it there, close to his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to leave it to personal interpretation whether Ben saw that Callum was typing too. I know the version I’m going with, but will leave it to each individual reader to decide…


	95. Chapter 95

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With due apology to those who continue in a trance of sorrow...

##  Unseen scene of 25/12/19

Callum let the sobering realisation wash over himself steadily that Ben had abandoned any attempt at sending through a message. 

Truthfully, he wasn’t surprised: disappointed, yes; surprised, no. The man who took pride in acting as someone with all the answers, but who often faltered when it came to the crunch. The niggle of self-doubt ever present in the back of his mind. 

That knowledge didn’t stop the hurt for Callum now though; didn’t stop the question forming in his mind as to what the man might have been intending to write. 

The silence infuriated him more than anything: he’d take all of Ben’s fight, all of his spark, all of his confrontation. But this lack of communication was plain unnerving. He could hear the younger man’s perpetual argument – _I’m doing this to protect you_ \- but Callum couldn’t accept that claim.

Dipping a hand down beside the sofa, he reached into his rucksack & fished out the item he’d steadfastly ignored the presence of for the past twenty-four hours: Ben’s blood-stained shirt. He hadn’t been willing to risk leaving the shirt in the flat when he left, for fear Stuart would find it & start asking some difficult questions of Callum, or worse still, Ben. 

It was an irony though, to say the least, that for all the while Ben thought he was protecting Callum, in real terms it was actually the other way round.


	96. Chapter 96

##  Unseen scene of 26/12/19

Ben rose with the lark the next morning, after another fitful night that lacked much semblance of sleep. His resolve had so nearly slipped the previous night: caught off guard by the ferocity of feeling Callum's gift had unearthed within. 

It was time to regain control; time to remember that for the world of pain he was in to actually be worth it, he needed to protect Callum at all costs. Even if that cost was his own.

This was going to be brutal, but Ben now knew he had to erase all trace of the man from his life if he had a hope of keeping a lid on himself. 

He set to work on the tangible reminders. Callum's hoodie, still draped over the chair from his last night staying over, was the first item to draw Ben's attention. He seized it in his hands, permitted himself one last intake of the scent contained on it, then bundled it away in the bottom drawer of his dresser. 

Next he removed Callum's pot of hair styling gel, giving a withering head shake of disapproval as he did. Ben took pride in his appearance, & pleasure in doing so, but Callum took grooming to a whole new level, sculpting his hair in the mirror for what felt like hours. Still, that wouldn't be a delay for Ben to worry about any longer.

He scanned around the room in search of other items, finding both a balled up pair of socks & a belt looped round upon itself. Discarded items of clothing from passionate times. Both made their way into the drawer, which Ben shoved closed with a sense of definite finality.

There was something else catching his attention though: an item of his own that brought back vivid thoughts of recent escapades. His red tie, still complete with stain of bodily secretions from the night Callum had worn it during sex.

What a night that had been: Callum well & truly igniting a spark within both of them. The tie now representing the pride Ben felt at Callum's spike in confidence, yet also his discomfort at the powerhouse the man had become. He had a growing sense that in building Callum up, he had also instigated their downfall.

He shook his head, knowing thoughts like that just wouldn't do. He was meant to be banishing this man from memory, not readmitting him. Ben shoved the tie in the drawer with the other items; an acknowledgement he wouldn't be seeking to wear it any time soon.

With a final flurry of energy, Ben stripped the quilt cover, sheets & pillow cases from the bed, Callum's recent presence within them, upon them, around him, too close for comfort.

He'd get round to making the bed up again later in the day. For now though he had more pressing business, in the form of his debt to Martin Fowler, without whom, after all, Ben would still be scrubbing blood away from his own hands.


	97. Chapter 97

##  Scene continuation of 26/12/19

_"Daddy! Where 'av you been?"  
"Just with a mate..."  
"Oh yeah, caught his name did ya?"  
"Let's hope that's all ya caught..."  
"Ha, ha...comedy gold..."  
"Didn't take you long to move on, did it?"  
"Sit down Dad; you're the dog & I'm banker..."  
"Yeah & I'm usually the banker..."  
"Right; prepare to get thrashed..."_

The assumptions both Jay & Lola had just made stung at Ben's conscience, yet peculiarly eased his mind. As he settled down, with Lexi in his lap, ready for the pair of them to swindle, manipulate &, if necessary downright cheat their way through the game of Monopoly - like father, like daughter after all - Ben knew he had been offered a get out of jail free card by his family.

There were no probing questions as to the split from Callum; just a willing acceptance that things hadn't worked out, & that Ben was moving on in the way he knew best: by getting straight back on the bike.

He wasn't in reality of course, but it suited that they thought it, if it meant nobody had questioned his disappearance for the best part of the day, while he'd kept up his side of his deal with Martin. 

Similarly that nobody would question it later, when he would slip away into the night, searching out a random bar & drinking himself into the solace of a stupor.

Having the distraction here & now of Lexi was everything, as they schemed & plotted their way through the board game. (Even as banker Lexi would find ways to manipulate the losses of others). 

But she could only take him so far into the evening, so when faced with the prospect of being alone with his thoughts, Ben would escape them through the medium of alcohol.

It was either that or mindless sex with equally mindless strangers, but Ben already knew he had no appetite for that. The thought of soulless hook ups in the dark of night leaving him cold, a shiver even running down his spine at the thought.

"Are you cold Daddy?" Lexi seemed to pick up on the physical sensation, squeezing one of her tiny palms to Ben's hand. "Don't worry; I'll keep you warm..."

He gave her an adoring smile & pecked a kiss to her cheek. "What would Daddy do without ya darlin'?"  
"Lose at Monopoly for one thing..." Ian's snide remark instantly came. "Don't think I didn't notice she over dealt when it came to your money..."

"Ian!" Kathy reprimanded sharply from across the table.  
Ben just smiled wistfully to himself, & muttered under his breath. "That's my girl..."


	98. Chapter 98

##  Unseen scene of 26/12/19

"Travel light, don't ya Callum?" Vicky pressed a mug of tea into the tall man's hand as she made her part observation, part question, then settled herself down in the chair beside him with her own mug. 

Callum glanced around himself, various possessions laid out across the sofa as he attended to readmitting them into his rucksack in a more orderly fashion than he'd originally packed them 

"Still got the old Army ethos too I see..." she smiled, nodding at the clothes he had folded with military precision.

"What's it they say?" he shrugged. "You can take the boy outta the Army..." he stopped short of finishing the old familiar phrase, perching down beside his belongings & taking a welcome gulp of tea.

"...But the Army will hunt 'im down & drag 'im back to 'em kickin' & screamin'?" Vicky offered her whimsical alternative ending to the phrase he had started. Then settled her tone to something softer. "Cos I'm guessin' the Army never really was the place for a kindly soul like you..."

Callum leant his weight back & drummed fingernails to mug as he sat in pensive thought. "Ya know, you're the second person to say that about me in the space of a week. What is it that makes people make that assumption about me?"

She looked visibly troubled that she may have upset him. "Oh Callum I wasn't deliverin' a damning judgement, just sayin' it as I see it from the short amount of time we've spent together..."

"Don't sweat it," he returned, equally keen not to offend. "It's just interestin', ain't it, to find out how other people perceive ya..."

She cast him a confused glance. "There's no shame in bein' one of the good guys Callum..."  
"Just heartbreak instead..." he winced dejectedly. The two had talked openly over the past day & a half, Callum finding that sharing some of his thoughts & feelings helped him to process them a little.

She placed her mug to one side & leant forward. "Did ya think on about what I said to ya at Chris's grave? About figurin'' out what it was that maybe Ben needs from you?"

He took a protracted sip of his tea. "Thought about little else to be fair. It changes from me thinkin' he needs a slap, to thinkin' he needs love & affection, then back to thinkin' he needs physically shakin'..."

"Well," she smiled. "You said the whole I love you gesture didn't exactly go down a storm, so maybe it's a bit of tough love he needs?"

"Ain't sure I've got that in me..." Callum chuckled quietly. "Ben's already said I'm more of a lover than a fighter. Chris said somethin' similar to me once, & hell now you've even all but said it..."

"So..." she sat upright decisively. "Prove all of us wrong & bring out your fightin' spirit. Fight for the man you love..."

Callum gave a concentrated nod of his head as he tried to unpick the suggestion Vicky had made, & apply it in the context of himself & Ben. "If I show a fightin' spirit to Ben, he just pushes back with his own even harder..."

'So fight by stealth instead..." she offered with a calm smile. "You don't have to be confrontational to fight. You could be strong willed, defiant, uncompromising..."

Callum gave another nod of his head & expelled a breathy "Yeah..." as he felt at least some of what she was suggesting resonate. "Yeah, I think I get that..."

Vicky set herself back in her chair & picked up her mug again. "Now are you really sure about hittin' the road tomorrow? You are more than welcome to stay longer..."

"Don't wanna outstay my welcome. You've been more than generous already". Callum politely declined the invitation with a warm smile. "Nah, I'm gonna put myself out there & make a difference for a change..." His declaration was so firm, so determined, it caught them both a little off guard.

Vicky though just smiled easily. "Ya know, if it was anyone else sayin' that I wouldn't quite believe 'em. But you, Callum Highway, somethin' tells me you will make a difference, in whatever way you choose..."

Callum received her encouragement with a faint chuckle & a radiating blush. "You've no idea how good that feels: to hear someone's actually got some faith in me for a change..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, what's Callum got planned...


	99. Chapter 99

##  Unseen scene of 31/12/19

Four days on from departing Vicky’s & true to his word, Callum found himself out & about in London Embankment making an actual difference. He had never felt a greater sense of purpose or fulfilment in his life, & this felt good. 

He’d permitted himself two days of down time on arriving at his Army mate’s place, knocking back cans of lager & sharing their woes while lounging on the sofa, but had always known that wasn’t really his way. Drowning his sorrows perpetually just wasn’t Callum’s style, perhaps because he had seen the damage it could cause first hand during his upbringing. 

\- - -

Ben was settling into a familiar routine now: spending lazy mornings about the house, helping out with Peggy or Lexi, mildly productive afternoons striking deals at the Car Lot, & evenings that ran on late into the night, often even the next morning, drinking himself into a near comatose state in different dive bars of London.

All of which was working, because it allowed him barely any time to entertain thoughts of Callum any more. So much so, he’d even stopped referencing him by name when the occasional errant thought strayed in the man’s direction, his psyche simply making a passing reference to _Him_

. - - -

Three afternoons ago, with a determination not to mope, Callum had set off on a quest to locate the nearest homeless shelter, & volunteered his services in whatever way they could use. His first full day there involved a stock take of the food bank, during which a casual conversation had revealed his culinary experience & seen him rapidly promoted to sous chef in the kitchen by day two. 

All of which meant he spent his afternoons cooking up batches of soups & broths in the company of a colourful septuagenarian, Maurice, who had more endless energy & enthusiasm than even a buoyant Callum could ever hope to muster. Then his evenings in the same company out distributing the warming foodstuff to the homeless on the streets of the capital. 

On this particular night – New Year’s Eve – they were pulling an extra-long shift late into the night, ensuring that London’s homeless had warm, reviving sustenance while the party revellers drank themselves merrily towards oblivion. 

Barely an hour from midnight they were by now entrenched at the heart of the Embankment, the iconic Thames visible only as a sea of black to one side that occasionally glistened under the reflection of streetlights, as the haves & the have-nots of London mingled in the same vicinity, the traditional fireworks celebration eagerly anticipated by one camp & passed off as an unnecessary annoyance by the other. 

.- - -

It was the anonymity of drinking alone in an unknown bar that Ben loved the most. The sense that ostensibly no-one gave two hoots that you were drinking alone.

There was none of the claustrophobia of Walford: no concerned sets of eyes casting their silent judgement that you were going off the rails again; no threat that the person behind the bar would phone your nearest & dearest asking them to escort you safely home.

Ben hadn't entertained or sustained this level of binge drinking since he'd returned to Walford - other than occasional blips. Even then though, he'd kept it close to home; allowed himself the possibility of being saved from himself if someone gave enough of a shit.

On this particular night, in this particular dive bar though, there was no-one, just himself, the grumpy bartender & a rowdy group of lads in the far corner. The threat that anyone was going to step in & save him was minimal, & that suited Ben just fine.


	100. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, chapter 100 already. Phew.
> 
> I shall be embracing both coronavirus & the resulting reduction in canon episodes to hopefully reduce the gap between this fic & actual canon, particularly as my work diary has somewhat unexpectedly cleared for the foreseeable...
> 
> Luckily for all of us, while canon takes a battering, we still have so much more to visit here.
> 
> This is one of 'those' chapters - I honestly have no idea. Hopefully though, you'll see the meaning in it somewhere...

##  Unseen scene of 31/12/19

"Now then young Callum, it's been three days we've been working together, yet you still haven't told me what's brought you here, to volunteering I mean..." There was a temporary lull in demand for soup, so Maurice ventured to find out more about his most recent recruit. 

Callum shrugged unassumingly. "Just fancied some time away from things..."

Maurice lit a cigarette, holding the packet out as an offer for Callum to take one. A pattern that had played on repeat throughout their time together: Maurice offered; Callum declined. It was almost as if the elder man thought he could wear down the younger's resolve if he did it often enough.

"Well correct me if I'm wrong, but don't most young guns like you take themselves off to Ibiza or Ayia Napa when they want some escape for a while?" 

Callum let out a snort of laughter at the suggestion he was a young gun. He definitely didn't think anyone had categorised him as that before. "Reckon you'd fit in them places easier than me.... Never really did get along with that whole clubbin' scene".

"Ah well," Maurice smiled fondly, as if the thought was taking him back to a happy memory. "You've obviously just never been out clubbing with the right crowd before..." He exhaled a long breath of cigarette smoke, which they both watched waft away into the night sky. "Still doesn't answer my question though, does it? Why you're here & not there..."

Callum traced his tongue along his bottom lip, in thought as to how much of himself he wanted to give away. "I had reason to stay close by, that's all. Just in case someone changed their mind about me..."

"Love interest?" Maurice questioned perceptively.  
"Love interest," Callum confirmed with a barely there nod of the head. "Or at least was the love interest, until I got dumped just before Christmas..."

"Ouch..." Maurice commented, just as a customer for their wares approached. "Chicken, oxtail or leek & potato young man?" He broke off from their conversation to attend to their client.

Callum smiled gently to himself at the growing realisation Maurice referred to everyone as young, although the man before them must have been mid-fifties at least. It troubled Callum though, the age range of the homeless they were helping to sustain: those barely in their teens right through to those older than Maurice.

"Do the honours will you young Callum? One chicken soup for this gent please..." Maurice brought him back from his thoughts, & Callum acquiesced readily to the request.

"I can do ya a bread roll with it too if ya want..." Callum ladelled the still piping hit soup into a container & made his offer to the man. "Your choice then, whether ya eat it all or save a bit back to use as makeshift earplugs when the fireworks start..."

Callum enjoyed his interactions with the punters, as Maurice affectionately referred to them. Always tried hard to lighten their load for a few short minutes at least, with a kindly smile & a quip for those he thought receptive to it. This man before them now he had already served for several nights running, so he knew a bit of banter would go down well.

"Ain't the fireworks I'll need makeshift earplugs for; it'll be all the pissed up revellers after..."  
Callum gave a nod of agreement. "In which case, take an extra bread roll for the road..."

Both Callum & Maurice watched on in silence as their latest punter took his leave, then the elder man spoke up again. "So..." Maurice lit up his umpteenth cigarette of the evening, apparently having given up any attempt at coercing Callum to join him. "Does this love interest of yours have a name?"

Callum scuffed an indistinct pattern into the ground with the toe of his shoe. That question suddenly felt a big one to answer: he was out & proud among friends & family, but hadn't breached this line with more casual acquaintances. He felt an unease rise in his stomach that he hadn't known to be there.

"Ben..." he whispered the name softly, then coughed to clear his throat. "His name's Ben..."

The loud sound of revellers counting down from ten to hail in the New Year suddenly swamped them, leaving no room for Maurice to give any response.

As the first of the fireworks went off at the stroke of midnight, Callum cast a glance across at his companion's features, unable to read anything in them at all, then raised his head to the bursts of colour permeating the sky. 

\- - - 

Ben physically jumped at the first unexpected crescendo of fireworks, looking around frantically, before coming to realise the rowdy group of lads in the corner had commandeered the TV & turned it up to full volume for the Embankment's New Year's display.

"You can turn that nonsense right down again..." the all but mute until now bartender chuntered angrily in the direction of the crowd of lads. "If ya wanna see those fireworks, take yaselves off outside..."

Ben gave the man a faint nod of approval. He'd never really understood the hysteria that surrounded New Year, & this time more than ever before could see little to celebrate.

“Closin’ soon for the night…” Having now found his voice the barman apparently wouldn’t be silenced. In acknowledgement of his words, Ben swigged down the remainder of his whiskey & sent the glass sailing along the bar for a refill. 

\- - -

As he watched the continuing display of lights in the night sky, it was starting to occur to Callum that Ben was akin to a firework: volatile & in need of constantly careful handling, yet brilliant & vibrant when set alight. And how he missed each & every one of those sparks.

With the plethora of fireworks dissolving into the night sky, Maurice picked up the thread of their conversation again. “You young bucks though, you have the whole coming out thing so much easier than we did in our day…”

Callum all but visibly choked on thin air. “Wait, what…you’re gay?” he questioned, incredulity clear in his voice.  
“Well,” Maurice chuckled. “It may come as a surprise for you to hear that you aren’t the only gay in this big old village they call London town…”

Callum winced apologetically, dragging a weary hand across his features as a moment of self-realisation hit. “Jesus…” he chastised more to himself than anyone. “I’ve just gone & done the one thing I’ve spent the past few weeks tellin’ Ben & everyone else not to do, ain’t I?”

“What’s that then young man?” Maurice asked out of interest.  
“Judged a book by its cover, ain’t I?” Callum bemoaned. “There’s me spendin’ all my time tellin’ Ben not to pigeonhole me, when I’ve just gone & done the exact same thing to you…”

“Well,” Maurice continued to be unoffended. “We all do it, don’t we?”  
“I don’t…” Callum attempted defiance, before his tone dipped to one of disappointment. “At least I thought I didn’t…” 

There was an obvious sense of self-disapproval about Callum, so Maurice exhaled a drawn-out sniff & held the box in his hand out in offering. “Cigarette?”

Callum could do nothing else but outwardly chortle. “Ya know, Ben reckons I’m like a dog with a bone, but you really are somethin’ else entirely! Don’t matter how many times I knock ya back does it, you just bounce back again like a rubber ball…”

“If you say so…” Maurice mused sagely. “Maybe there’s a lesson for you in that somewhere though, eh young buck?”

\- - -

Ben had managed to stagger his way the grand total of 500 yards from the bar he’d been patronising before he slumped down on a park bench: in his hand a bottle of vodka that he’d somehow talked the bartender into selling him.

As he unsteadily began to unscrew its cap he quietly chimed a reminder out to himself. “Give the people what they’ve come to expect…give the people what they want…” He took a greedy gulp from the bottle then slumped his head down against one arm of the bench, haphazardly raising his legs until he lay horizontally.


	101. Chapter 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where ideas come from sometimes when I'm writing a chapter. This is definitely one such case...

##  Unseen scene of 01/01/20

Ben came to the next morning, the proverbial bear with a sore head: empty vodka bottle still clutched to his person, coat tugged around him for warmth. 

A pulsing beat sounded loud in his head, & as he restored himself to vertical it felt as though his brain was submerged in alcoholic floodwaters.

He sat stock still in an effort to quell the nausea, staring out at the Thames before him, & trying to ignore the ebb & flow of the water as it teased him towards queasiness.

He sensed the emerging presence of a person in his peripheral vision; an unidentified figure taking a seat on the bench beside him. Ben steadfastly ignored their existence, staring out blankly at the river.

After a degree of rustling & shuffling, the stranger held an offering across to Ben, their hand not retracting even as no acknowledgement of either their own existence or that they were offering came.

Ben expelled a huff of frustration, recognising this level of tenacious, & knowing he couldn't beat it. In a movement so slow it was barely perceptible, he turned his head to take in the scene. His eyes narrowed, both in suspicion & from an inability to focus. Passing out in contact lenses never being a good idea.

"Look like you're in more need of this than me..." the stranger ventured to suggest, not waiting for an answer & simply shoving the item he was offering into Ben's hands.

"A bread roll?" Ben queried disbelievingly. "You're giving me a bread roll?"  
"Acquired me an extra one from last night's soup kitchen rounds," the stranger sniffed as if no other explanation should be needed. "I've got no use for it, you looked like you might though..."

Ben contemplated the bread product in his hand, then looked across to study the features of the stranger: in his mid-fifties Ben guessed, showing all the classic signs of a hard worn life.

Whereas Ben would normally shun this kind of interaction, something was drawing him to it. "You should know; I don't tend to respond well to acts of kindness..." he managed a whimsical smile. "Kindness is a weakness in my world..."  
"But a strength in mine..." the stranger countered boldly. 

Ben raised his eyes to the sky, disputing that sentiment with a shake of his head, before having to look back down because the alcohol in his system was threatening to overpower him. “You sound just like someone I used to know…” he conceded, despite himself.  
“Talk a lot of sense then, don’t they?” the stranger asserted. “Why don’t you know them anymore?”

Ben cast a disapproving glare at the question, then occupied his hands by fiddling with the bread roll contained within them. “Because I’m a terrible person…” There was more than a little self-pity in his response, & he knew it, but whether it was the alcohol talking or something else, all Ben knew was it felt good to get it off his chest.

With that though, the stranger simply stood, before speaking one last time. “Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…”

Ben was of no religion, but could recognise it as the Lord’s Prayer they all so faithfully used to recite each day at school. As he watched the man’s steady retreat, out of nowhere, he uttered the next line under his breath. “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…”

With a sudden spike of determination, Ben rose unsteadily to his feet, somewhat too quickly given the amount of alcohol coursing through his veins, but he pressed on anyway. “Oi mate…” he called out after the stranger, stopping the man in his tracks. “That soup kitchen you talked about, where is it?”

The stranger turned slowly & gave an appeasing smile. “Just hop over that bridge, take a left, then it’s the second building on your right…”  
“Cheers…” Ben gave a short nod of approval. He knew pride when he saw it, & was to proud himself to take the most immediate, direct action he could, but that wouldn’t stop him submitting to an indirect, if uncharacteristic, random act of kindness of his own.


	102. Chapter 102

##  Unseen scene of 01/01/20

As Callum absent-mindedly chopped his way through what seemed to be his body weight in onions, his thoughts were interrupted by the buoyant return of Maurice to their shared kitchen. “Today they shall eat as paupers; tomorrow they shall eat as kings…”

Callum was increasingly convinced this man had to have been a Shakespearean actor in his varied past. “Ya what?” he queried uncertainly, wiping the residue of onion juice on his apron. 

“Our Sal from out front reckons we took hand delivery of a not inconsequential sum of money this morning…” Maurice beamed triumphantly.   
“A donation?” Callum raised a questioning eyebrow.  
“The very same…” the elder man confirmed. “Not from any of our regular benefactors either, so the gods must be smiling down on us in this new year…”

“Wow, congratulations,” Callum smiled easily. “Must be a weight off, knowing that will keep things tickin’ over a bit longer…”  
“Indeed, indeed…” Maurice’s dramatics did little to quell the latest impression the younger man was forming of him. “Bit of an odd one though, didn’t exactly meet the usual description of one of our backers….” He continued to muse, while strapping his own apron about his person & retrieving a batch of fresh meat from the fridge.

“How so?” Callum questioned, relieved at the return to some benign conversation to break him from the confusion of his own thoughts.  
“Well Sal’s description of him, & I quote…” Maurice picked up a knife in an overly theatrical manner & proceeded to wag it in front of himself.  
Callum relieved that he was working at a safe distance from the knife-wielding dramatist.

“Young, would have been classed as a yuppy in the eighties…” Maurice proceeded to recount what he had been told, pausing briefly to interject his own interpretation. “Not that that will mean anything to a young buck like you, so think upwardly mobile, lad about town…Sharp dresser, definite aroma of alcohol about him, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, not to mention a sizeable chip…”

Callum visibly stalled at the description, knowing just who it reminded him off.  
“Got quite a way with words hasn’t she, our Sal?” Maurice beamed, turning his attention to creating his culinary masterpiece of the day. He was bemused though by the lack of response from his sous chef, so looked across at him. “Hello there? Earth to young Callum…”

“Sorry, sorry…” Callum returned to the room apologetically.  
“Any chance those onions will be ready this side of Christmas?” Maurice teased.  
“On it boss…” the younger man quietly assured, resetting his knife to the latest onion & slicing through it at impressive speed.

“Where’d that description take you then?” Maurice’s antennae, perceptive as ever, had sensed a change in his co-worker’s aura.  
“Eh?” Callum glanced up in confusion, then began to understand the question. “Oh, just reminded me of my Ben, that’s all…”

Maurice looked over again, intrigued. “Which bit? The sharp dressing?”  
“All of it really,” Callum shrugged. “He’s always a sharp dresser, definitely likes to think of ‘imself as the man…” He couldn’t resist a fond smile at that thought, but swiftly expelled it with a sniff. “Also carries a humungous chip on his shoulder, takes on way too many of other peoples’ problems, & has been known to go off on complete benders…” He tried not to let that particular notion trouble himself too much: even the thought that Ben might be in any sort of freefall too much to bear.

“Yet today you’ve just referenced him to me as my Ben…” Maurice interjected wryly. “Last night you were contemplating hiding away in the closet, now you’re speaking openly of the man you still clearly have feelings for, so the question is young buck, what are you going to do about it?”

“Honestly?” Callum chuckled, part nervously, part in the realisation he simply didn’t have a clue. “Honestly, I have no idea…”


	103. Chapter 103

##  Follow on from scene of 02/01/20

_“There is no compromise; there are no grey areas. This is black & white…”_

Except here, now, nestling in Ben's lap, while his fingers trailed their way through its soft, comforting material, there was grey. The granite grey of Callum's hoodie to be precise, complete with its white drawstring.

The words of his monologue to Ian still rang through Ben’s ears. For the first time since the split from Callum, Ben had poured the sentiments of his soul out, but nobody seemed to hear the pain in his voice, the regret laden in every word.

A long week had lapsed since Ben had stowed this precious garment away at the foot of his dresser, the intention clear for it never to see the light of day again.

But then Ian had invited that harlot Sharon into their home, & in a fit of anger, Ben had bundled the entire contents of his wardrobe & accompanying drawers into a holdall, relocating his entire world to centre around the Mitchell household. Or what was left of his world, at least.

But this time, he couldn't bear the thought of hiding everything of Callum away. There was something of this hoodie that brought Ben an instant shot of comfort: a warmth radiating through his veins. 

It provided a welcome contrast to the claustrophobic feel of the place he would now be calling home, & the soulless anonymity of the dingy bars he had sought solace in over the past week.

In truth, Ben was tired of spending night after night in the dirty, grimy bars of backstreet London. Of failing to make it home: not because he'd had any sort of better offer, but simply because he was largely incapable. His night on the park bench had taught him one thing at least: if going on a bender do it close enough to home so you can stagger back there.

Which was why now, on his first night of living back at his Dad's, he sat alone in the privacy of what he so loosely termed his own room.

So what if he tugged the warming garment of Callum's over his head on occasion & let it envelope him while he breathed in the lingering scent of its rightful owner.

And so what if as he did so, he chugged down the contents of another bottle of vodka. 

And so what if as he tried to slip into the arms if Morpheus, it was the arms of only one man he recalled draped around him.


	104. Chapter 104

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve often marvelled at others’ ability to write a narrative based on the lyrics of a song, although I wasn’t sure I myself would ever attempt it. There’s a first time for everything though, & this particular song kept striking a chord in my psyche every time I head it on the radio: I just think it’s so Ben.
> 
> The song in question is _This Is The Place_ by Tom Grennan – give it a listen if you haven’t heard it.
> 
> This chapter follows the first verse & chorus of the song chronologically; we may well in a later chapter revisit the song to take in the second verse & more of the chorus. No, I don’t ever do things by halves!
> 
> Hopefully this works...

##  Unseen scene of 03/01/20

_When Monday morning’s falling back around  
The coffee’s cold, it gets me down_

Ben took a tentative sip from the full mug of liquid he noticed at his bedside as the first light shards of the day filtered their way in despite the curtains. 

He promptly spat the mouthful back into the mug on discovering it to be stone-cold coffee he had no recollection of even making from the night before.

He glanced across to the other side of the bed: the empty side. The side where instead of a warming, loving body, lay an empty vodka bottle. Its long since redundant screw top in an as yet undiscovered location.

_I put my hand there on the empty space  
Here in our bed, I can’t replace  
I’ve been to your face  
Hands on my waist_

He sighed forlornly, reaching a hand out to run a flattened palm against the sheet. How was it that the sensation of a cool, crisp bed sheet was so inviting when you retired for the night, yet so cruel when you woke in the morning to find no warmth there?

Not that Ben had actually gone through the waking phase: that was only permitted for good people, who slept well on an easy conscience & a fulfilled day.

People like Ben didn't really sleep, nor did they deserve to. If they were lucky they fell into some sort of idle stupor that consisted of vivid, mind-bending dreams & restless thrashing limbs. If they were unlucky they lay awake all night, their mind churning over & over & over.

Last night had been the former for Ben: succumbing to a drink-induced haze, dreaming intensely of large hands roaming his body; of soft lips peppering kisses to his skin; of teeth & tongue grazing along his inner thigh...

All of which had brought him to with a momentary sense of belonging & the unmistakable stirrings of a morning glory. Both had deflated rapidly as first his eyes, then his mind, adjusted to the cold light of day.

_You’ve gone with no trace  
And I can’t break the cycle of you in my mind, no_

Callum was in there: an increasing tug at Ben’s conscience, an ever-present question mark in his mind. Where had he gone? Would he come back? Would he forgive Ben for the action he had taken?

Perhaps even more pertinently, would Ben ever be able to forgive himself for the actions he had taken?

_This is the place that I’ve come to forget you  
There are the nights that I drink to regret you_

Ben’s gaze fixed to the empty vodka bottle. He really wasn’t proud this was what he’d resorted to as a lifeline, but it was the one thing keeping his sanity in check now. Day after day he spent keeping Louise in order: sometimes coaxing, sometimes delivering harsh truths as to what their reality was now. As others fell apart around him, Ben kept it together by losing himself at nights in a heady combination of alcohol & thoughts of Callum. 

Feeling a sudden chill run down his spine, Ben drew the hoodie he was still wearing in closer to his body; its oversized sleeves allowing him to thoroughly envelope himself within it. 

_These are the times I know I can’t replace you_

What he’d give to be held by those firm, loving arms now. The hoodie wrapped around him gave some comfort, but nothing close to the physical sensation of Callum himself close by. Ben wasn’t sure he’d ever actually known what it was to truly feel loved before he’d lost himself in Callum. 

An abrasive voice barking from downstairs roused Ben from that notion. “Ben? You ‘ere?” His father, seemingly content his son was now fully at his beckon call, no longer needing a phone call or message to summons him: just an unearthly bellow across the house would do. “Ben?”

_Wish that I was somewhere else  
Wish that I was somewhere with_

“BEN!” Just as Ben was about to hit upon a dawning realisation in his mind, his father’s impatience reached fever pitch, & the moment was temporarily lost. “Alright, alright, I’m coming…” the younger Mitchell shouted back in exasperation, than muttered something further beneath his breath. “Keep yer blinkin’ hair on…”


	105. Chapter 105

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good old Ben's in full on absolute denial of his reality now...
> 
> If everyone's very well behaved with practicing their social distancing correctly, I may just do some double posting while we're in such weird times. If I can keep up the writing production line in all this madness, I will post it!
> 
> Keep reading & hopefully enjoying in these oddest of times. And keep safe.

##  Unseen scene of 08/01/20

The sleepless nights were coming thick & fast for Ben now, no matter how much drink he tried to consume, day or night. A bottle of something alcoholic now his accessory of choice, always stowed away securely in a coat pocket, allowing him easy access to a swig whenever things became too much. 

Which they increasingly did.

He’d started slipping out of the house at first light for the past few days, taking himself off around the Square, desperately trying to keep his head clear of the clawing demons. Close friends & family had wrongly taken to assuming he was up to his old tricks again: seeing him roll back in around breakfast time, he & they were all too willing to accept the assumption that he’d spent the night in the arms, or more specifically the trousers, of a passing acquaintance. They couldn’t have been further from the truth though if they’d tried. 

It was still the thought of one man & one man alone that his memory sought out to regather some equilibrium, so it was perhaps of little surprise that for the past two dawns Ben had found himself stopping to take a seat at a particular park bench. 

He spent his time there just remembering; thinking back to times when it was just the two of them; to the times before he had obliterated them to pieces. This was a workable solution, he’d resolved, given Callum was likely a world away: out of sight, but no longer banished from Ben’s mind, the man had taken on an ethereal quality for him, keeping his sanity in check, while being of no actual threat to his pretence.


	106. Chapter 106

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As previously suggested, we incorporate another verse section from _This Is The Place_ by Tom Grennan in this chapter.
> 
> Damn & blast though, when you’re supposed to be engrossing yourself in maintaining momentum in this part of the Ballum timeframe, then canon goes & screens an episode like last night, & all your mind wants to do is rush ahead to write a follow on scene from where they left Callum & Ben in the kitchen…
> 
> Must concentrate on January scenes; must concentrate on January scenes…

##  Unseen scene of 10/01/20

_“Callum might come back…”  
“I hope he doesn’t…Lettin’ him go was…But if he was here? Well…it’d break me”_

There it was: the truth. Lucidity from Ben in a moment’s solidarity with his sister. Lucidity driven by alcohol albeit, but lucidity all the same. 

The full reality of that truth hit Ben hard in the dark of night, as another bottle of alcohol bit the dust. 

_I’m torturing myself with photographs, our messages  
No this can’t last  
I hope you know I wouldn’t change a thing  
Your hands on me_

_Those memories_  
I’ve been to your face  
And I can’t break the cycle of you in my mind, oh 

These weren’t the actions of a rational man: existing amongst the hazy memories of a lapsed relationship. He needed to reclaim himself from this spiral: free himself from an overreliance on a man that wasn’t even present in his life. 

The answer was suddenly simple, he thought. He’d tried losing himself in alcohol, to no real avail, so perhaps it was time to go back to his old reliable: anonymous pleasure-seeking hook ups. Shutting down the photo gallery on his phone, he reinstated his old familiar app & put himself back out there. 


	107. Chatper 107

##  Unseen scene of 10/01/20

Callum set himself down on a bench overlooking the river, took a deep breath, & selected the contact in his phone he knew it was about time he called. It was about 20 minutes until he was due on shift at the shelter, & was now two-plus weeks on from him leaving the Square. 

"Bruv!" Stuart's over-eager voice greeted his call. "Where are ya? How are ya? You comin' home to us soon?"

Callum exhaled a breath of amusement. "Any particular order you want me to answer them questions in Stu?"  
"Can't help it I'm excited to hear from me long-lost brother, can I?" Stuart gushed. "Come on then, let's start from the top: how are ya?"

"Yeah," Callum mustered whatever enthusiasm he could in response. "Yeah, I'm good..." As he spoke he drew a weary hand across his face: a telling sign he was glad his brother wasn't able to see, that in some ways he remained anything but.

"And where are ya?" Stuart remained apparently content to reel off his list more slowly than the first time.   
"Ya know...out & about..." Callum gave his vague reply.

"So ya comin' home soon? We miss ya..." Stuart made an early attempt at imploring his brother. "Place ain-t the same without ya..."

Callum gave a sigh. "Not really sure yet Bruv. Everything's still feelin' a bit too raw..."  
"Yeah..." Stuart accepted in a markedly softening tone. "Probably for the best anyway, what with the open warfare that's been kickin' off round here..." He made his off-the-cuff comment without thinking, & instantly regretted it.

"Why?" Callum asked suspiciously. "What's been goin' down?"  
Stuart sniffed, attempting nonchalance, but failing. "Spot of bother between the Mitchells from what I hear..."

"Ben?" Callum couldn't stop the name tumbling instantly from his mouth. "Is Ben ok?"  
"So far as I know..." the muted response came, before Stuart bucked his ideas up again. "I mean, probably as well as can be expected when his step mum's affair with his sister's fiancé has become public knowledge..."

Callum's brain took its time to process that information, the cogs starting to turn & the pieces falling into place. "Sharon & Keanu; you're havin' me on right?"

"God's honest truth Bruv," Stuart assured. "I mean, you just couldn't make that sort of shit up, could ya?"

Callum wasn't really listening to his brother's thoughts on the matter, his own currently in overdrive. "So Phil knows?"

"They had a big old showdown in the pub, so the jungle drums say..." Stuart happily relayed the gossip of another family's woes. "Only wish we'd been there to see it, but me & Rainie were probably right in the middle of strip Trivial Pursuit when all this was kickin' off..."

Callum shook his head to remove any notion of his brother in any sort of state of undress, while thanking his lucky stars he hadn't been subjected to it. A rising sense of unease simultaneously forming within.

"Anyway, so it turns out that bun in Sharon's oven ain't Phil's but Keanu's..." Stuart continued to impart the news in his own unique style. "Sharon's been turfed out & Keanu's legged it. Last I 'eard, they've all played musical families: Sharon's now livin' at Ian's & that good for nothing ex of yours is back at Phil's...Ain't exactly your traditional Christmas story is it?"

Callum was still working hard to process everything he'd just been told, mindful all the while of Ben's erratic behaviour in the build up to Christmas: was this the root cause of what had been festering away?

"Bruv, you still there?" Stuart enquired down the now silent telephone line.  
"Yeah, still 'ere," Callum gave back, knowing he was already elsewhere in spirit. "I should probably get goin' though..."  
"What you got a hot date or somethin'?" Stuart promptly teased. "You're a sly one, ain't ya..."

Callum supposed he did have a hot date of sorts lined up, working away in the overheated kitchen of the homeless shelter, so he did little to deter his brother from that thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple more chapters, I think, then we might just let these boys have themselves a bit of a reunion...


	108. Chapter 108

##  Unseen scene of 10/01/20

Ten minutes on from ending his call with his brother, Callum still remained in situ on the bench by the river, swivelling his phone round & round in the palm of his hand. There were questions forming in his mind that he knew he could turn to one person for the answers to, if he had the strength to make that call.

He would need to tread carefully though.

Drawing in an extended breath of the chill winter air, he ceased his rotation of the phone in his hand & decisively selected the name in question from his list of contacts. The ringing tone seemed to be on endless repeat, until the voice at the other end finally answered. “Callum?”

“Hey,” Callum spoke a little faintly, then bucked his ideas up before speaking again. “Hi Jack, sorry to bother you…”  
“Not a problem,” Jack promptly assured. “This about that police assessment of yours? Can’t be many weeks away now, can it?”

The police assessment: the thing that had been furthest from Callum’s mind of late. He pondered the question & gave his answer as he realised what it was. “It’s about a month away now, I guess…”  
“Well I ain’t seen you round much of late, so guess you’ve been in studyin’ hard for it…” Jack again intervened.

“Kind of, yeah…” Callum agreed through a hesitant breath. “Been away from the Square actually, doin’ a bit of voluntary work…”  
“Volunteering eh?” Jack sounded suitably impressed. “That definitely will look good on the application form”.  
“Hope so…” the younger man ventured quietly. “Actually though, it weren’t really the assessment I was callin’ about…”  
“Ok, well shoot…” Jack seemed unfazed. “Just picked myself up a takeaway coffee, & nowhere to be for a couple of minutes, so what can I help ya with?”

Callum took another deep breath, then began. “It’s about what happened before Christmas…with Phil…” His statement was met with marked silence down the telephone line, so he pressed on. “I’m guessin’ with the benefit of hindsight that had somethin’ to do with Phil thinkin’ you was the father of Sharon’s baby…”

The sound of Jack’s lips pursing was almost audible down the line. “Top detective work there Callum…” he eventually commented cynically.   
The younger man refused to be deterred. “I know at the time you were pretty damning of Ben, but I need to know Jack…how involved was he?”

Jack returned a long sigh down the phone. “You ain’t taken my advice then & decided to steer clear from him?”  
“Please Jack…” Callum resolved to ignore the question. “How involved was Ben in what happened to ya?”

Jack clicked his tongue against the lid of his mouth as he pondered over what answer to give. “He probably stopped things from bein; a whole lot worse than they actually were, ok?” Making that sort of concession didn’t exactly come easily to him. “Given Phil was pretty hellbent on the use of petrol & a lighter at the time…”

_Petrol_ a notion that instantly resonated for Callum, given the stench of it that Ben had arrived home stained with that evening. “Jesus Jack…”

“Just don’t go casting that boyfriend of yours as any sort of hero in this mind…” Jack warned firmly. “He might of been shocked about how far that thug of a father of this was prepared to take things, but that don’t mean he weren’t culpable…Him & Keanu actually, which is ironic now when ya come to think of it…”

“Keanu was there too?” Callum queried through a breath he was inadvertently holding in.   
“Must of been standin’ there watchin’ the fate that awaited him, don’t ya reckon?” Jack mused conspiratorially.  
“Stu said Keanu’s done a runner…” Callum part questioned; part asserted.  
“Well, let’s hope so eh?” Jack returned, somewhat forebodingly. “For his sake, & for the sake of that boyfriend of yours…”

Callum had heard enough. “Thanks for your time Jack…” He didn’t wait for any response, simply terminating the call. Staring off into the mid distance, he brought his thoughts into focus, with only one staying prominent in his mind. It was time to go home, & see for himself what of Ben’s world, & state of mind, had changed.


	109. Chapter 109

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter posted of the day; leaves us nicely set up for a little weekend reunion...

##  Unseen scene of 10/01/20

_“Look, if this ain’t wham, bam, thank you Sam then, I ain’t interested. So thanks…but no thanks…”_

Ben flounced his way from the bar in a show of defiance that faded rapidly as he reached the exit, where he slumped back against the wall & wondered since when in the world of online hook ups it had become so vanilla. It used to be as easy as a simple swipe to line up a casual, all but anonymous shag; why was it suddenly a prerequisite that you state your name, relationship goals & three unique facts about yourself?

As he smoothed down an imperfection in his shirt, he mulled over what his unique selling point in that sort of world would even be:  
_I’m Ben;_  
I don’t do relationships because I only ending up hurting the people I care for;  
I’ve a criminal record longer than most peoples’ relationship history; my prowess in the bedroom is the stuff of legend; &…

And what though, he wondered. Since when had Ben Mitchell ever struggled to come up with a glowing character reference of himself? Why should it even matter anyway? All Ben really wanted, really needed, after all, was an unspoken exchange of mutual understanding & someone with a willingness & associated ability to blow his brains out. 

There was really only one person capable of that level of implicit connection that Ben knew of though, & no amount of staring at that man’s name in his list of contacts was about to summon him up from the ether. 

But that didn’t stop Ben doing it, all the same, as he skulked his way home, & determined to remove the ridiculous shirt he was wearing as soon as possible. 

Suddenly, he barely knew who he’d become.


	110. Chapter 110

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting these 2 chapters - 110 & 111 - simultaneously, as they essentially depict the same scene - one from Callum's pov, the other from Ben's. 
> 
> I couldn't make it work to combine them in 1 chapter, but think they're best read back-to-back, so 2 chapters here for the price of 1...

##  Callum - 13/01/20

Attempts at talking things through with Ben had got Callum precisely nowhere on his two attempts before he’d left the Square, so now as he returned, setting foot out of the underground station, he did so with some fresh perspective. Conversations with folk he’d met on his travels had given Callum much food for thought, & he’d come to the conclusion maybe what Ben needed was something entirely different to what had been before. 

It was time to take a different tack... 

Callum pulled his rucksack a little tighter to his shoulder as he took in a deep breath, set his hand to the silver metallic door handle, & stepped unassumingly into the Car Lot portakabin.

_Ben..._

There he was: Back turned at first, looking away from the door; shirt & trouser combination accentuating all the right muscles in all the right places. 

But there was an obvious tension in the man's physique too: shoulders tightly hunched, fists threatening to clench as he turned reluctantly to see who had walked through the door.

Callum stood tall…  
Silent…  
Waited.

He watched Ben's eyes visibly widen, first in shock; then in recognition; then in something else...Was it relief, hesitance, or something else? Callum couldn't quite discern.

He remained silent, still, as Ben approached him stealth-like; their eyes transfixed in one another's throughout. There was a vulnerability in Ben's stare, as if he was anticipating Callum's presence to be an apparition.

Callum stayed still, silent, hand gripped to shoulder strap of rucksack, expression neutral: challenging, imploring Ben to make his first move. Whether that was the throw of a punch; a collapse into tears; a collision of their lips; a bolt for the exit. Callum would stand & take it.

He recalled Jay saying that of Ben to him once: he goes rogue once in a while & needs strong people in his life who will absorb the bullshit & put the pieces back together again.

Callum's gaze remained unrelenting as Ben made his final approach & settled into the space before him with a demonstrative stamp of foot to floor. The Corporal had reported to the parade ground, ready for inspection by the Captain...Callum just wasn't sure which of them was filling which role any more.

_I can take this Ben_, Callum's eyes silently broached. _I can take this world of yours; whatever it is..._


	111. Chapter 111

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. - Two chapters posted back-to-back - read Chapter 110 & accompanying note first!

##  Ben - 13/01/20

He appeared like a vision: the man whose name had been on the lips of so many of Ben's friends & family for the past three weeks, but a name that he himself had been unable to utter... 

_Callum_

The name that had reverberated through Ben's brain, through his being, day after day after day; night after night after night…

_Callum_

The name he'd secreted away in his soul, secured by lock & key. Ben held tight within himself the back up security code to the lock, but one person alone guarded the key.

_Callum_

Even with him now stood before him, Ben still couldn't give voice to that name. 

_Callum_

How many times had he thought to summon this man up in recent weeks; too many to count, Ben knew. Yet here now he stood: staunch, silent, strong before him.

_Callum_

This man, by god, he had the resilience of a brick wall; the stickability of velcro; the compassion of a child, given all Ben had done to push him away. Yet back Callum had still come, & Ben wasn't sure he'd ever needed him more.  



	112. Chapter 112

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friendly warning to anyone whose sensibilities might be upset by the more adult content - you might want to give this chapter a miss. 
> 
> To everyone else who's been anticipating a bit of 🔥🔥 - here it is.  
Very, very different to the previous encounters I've written for this pair, & not from a standpoint I've seen anyone else take when writing up the infamous Car Lot scene.
> 
> As I've hinted to many of you already, there is no quarter given by either man in this encounter...I'll be fascinated to hear individual reader views on this one, so please do let me know...
> 
> (Oh, & it appears I am incapable of writing sex scenes for these two that could in any way be defined as short!)

##  Actual scene of 13/01/20 merging into unseen scene

Desperation sought solace in calm; unwavering trust sought companionship with self-doubt, as the two men continued to look deep into each other's eyes, deep into each other's souls.  
Hearts pounded in chests, sentiments were swallowed down hard, as each man found the same answer mirrored back at them: _want._

There were none of Ben's trademark salacious comments, or Callum's anticipatory licking of lips. Just an unspoken acknowledgement this was something they each needed to act on, for markedly different reasons. 

But most of all because of the want.

Ben made a sudden, decisive movement with his left arm, sweeping paperwork clear of the closest desk with a flourish, then looked back to Callum: eyes ever widening, but oh so still, save for the gentle sway of his weight from foot to foot.

_Dare you..._Callum's retinas burned into Ben's.

_Need you..._Ben's retinas transmitted right back into Callum's.

Ben stepped inwards; Callum slipped the bag from his own shoulder, as they inched closer to the inevitable: breathing suddenly shallow, temperature reaching boiling point. 

_Want_

After a slight advance from Ben, it was Callum who led the surge, a sudden frenzy of passion as he seized & clung to Ben's neck to instigate a kiss as if their very lives depended on it.

_Want_

_Want_

_Want_

They wasted no time, Ben being backed into the desk & pushed down on it, Callum crowding over him as Ben tugged his man ever closer into him, down upon him. The breaths of both men by now short & rasping.

As their kiss intensified, Ben brought his legs up so they were wrapped around Callum's waist. He wanted, needed, this man as close as he could have him. Grunts of desire spilling from him deep within. Each man felt the other smile into the kiss at the feeling this was a homecoming for both of them.

Without warning, Callum scooped the younger man up into his arms, Ben emitting a hitched groan in surprise, & managing to wrap his arms across the taller man's shoulders just in time to maintain the stability of their union. 

With a hungry moan of exertion, Callum slipped his hands to rest at the underside of Ben's thighs, allowing him to hoist his man a little higher in his hold. Turning their conjoined bodies a full 180 degrees, he pushed Ben's back to the wall with an unceremonious thud, the physicality of which threatened to take the breath from Ben's lungs.

Still though, not a word was uttered between them. No apology from Callum as to any injury he may have caused; no innuendo from Ben about being slammed against the wall 

The air was though filled with the deep, throaty grunts & groans of two men intent on devouring each other. 

It was Ben's hand to play next, as he pawed at Callum's shirt buttons, unleashing his chest, but leaving the open shirt in situ to frame it.

Callum's eyes flickered down to Ben's shirt, continuing to engage a wet, open- mouthed kiss throughout, indicating he wanted the same courtesy from his man. Ben's fingers complied, working in the narrow gap between them to unfasten his own shirt's buttons. 

There was a moment then; when all of time seemed to stand still. Their kiss slowed until it finally evaporated; Callum's hold of Ben relented, releasing him carefully to stand back on his own two feet. Their stare made a return, & it was Ben who knew he couldn't risk sustaining it. He couldn't risk Callum seeing his truth.

Splaying a palm to the man's chest, Ben urgently reignited their kiss, an insistent grunt accompanying his actions. Applying pressure through his hand, Ben caused Callum to stumble back against the desk; the taller man having to brace his hands behind himself against the piece of furniture to prevent his back falling flush against it.

Ben sidled in to nest between Callum's thighs, their kiss becoming increasingly desperate. His hands roamed to the taller man's jeans, making short work of unfastening both button & zipper. With shaky breaths catching between them, he seized Callum's manhood fully in his hand, pulling it from its shielding underwear.

Callum expelled an audible gasp at the firm pressure Ben was instantly applying to him; there was nothing tender or caressing about his grip; it was rigid, unrelenting, uncompromising. 

Callum's head tipped back - an acknowledgement of the ecstasy - & he momentarily expected Ben's mouth to dip to work along his neck. It didn’t though, & he realised that would be too intimate, too sensual for this reunion.

Driven by that knowledge of purpose, Callum's hands sought out Ben's belt buckle, the rattling sound of its release chinking through the silence. He followed through by loosening button & flies, releasing the younger man's suit trousers to fall to his ankles. His boxers made a similar descent seconds later.

Ben's cock stood proudly to attention & Callum took it in hand, instantly applying similarly vigorous tugs to it as Ben was conducting at his own. As mutual uninhibited gasps erupted through their kiss, Callum's free hand found its way to the nape of Ben's neck, sending an instant shot of pleasure all the way down the younger man's spine.

From that one familiar touch alone, Ben knew he was falling. He shrugged the shirt from his own back, then made one last desperate attempt at kidding himself this was nothing more than casual sex. Forcing their hands, bodily parts & mouths apart he finally broke the spell & spoke the first words to be uttered between them. "Enough of this time wasting..."

With brute strength, he yanked the elder man from the desk, causing his loosened jeans to cascade to his ankles, & some sort of weird restricted shuffle of their legs to ensue, as Ben turned them around, both of their movements impeded by discarded clothing at their feet.

On any other day, at any other time, the absurdity of it would have them both in fits of giggles. But not today. Not with the impenetrable mood of uncertainty still wafting through the air....A doubt lingered deep in both men: that either one of them could call this off at any time; their sense of urgency heightened by that thought.

Ben turned to face away from Callum & leant his front down to the desk. This wasn't their usual style, but he needed to resurrect something impersonal within the scenario. To swim in Callum's ocean-like eyes while they performed this act would be his undoing after all.

Callum fumbled down his own boxer shorts, then offered his first words of the entire encounter. "I ain't got any..."  
Ben cut him off mid-sentence; disinterested in condoms or lube in this instance. "Don't want any of it; just want you, bareback, inside me..."

A psychologist would have a field day analysing that one defiant statement. The briefness of their relationship meant they hadn't had the whole going condomless discussion, & all that entailed in respect of monogamy, testing & commitment to another level of trust.

Maybe subconsciously Ben was even testing Callum in this moment. He'd said as much to him at the time of their break up after all: _You really need to start believin' in me..._

Ben knew he was asking Callum to take a leap of faith that he hadn't been up to his old tricks of indulging risky sexual encounters in his absence. He also knew Callum to be a man of deep integrity, so had no concerns over any risks from unprotected sex coming his way.

"Ya really want this; without any protection or lube, I mean?" Callum needed clarity on this, not wanting to hurt the man he loved, regardless of how much emotional harm he had recently caused him.

"I really want this," Ben affirmed shakily. More words that he couldn't say then freefalling through his mind:

_I really need this, to let you give back to me some of the pain I've caused you..._

_I really need this, to help me forget about the world of hurt & pain I'm already in...._

Callum couldn't say he was overly comfortable with the notion of going in without lube, but recognised the need in Ben's voice, suspecting this was more deep-rooted than merely preference for rough make-up sex. He pushed any such thoughts to the back of his mind & improvised as best he could.

Sucking on his index finger to moisten it with what saliva he could muster, Callum then calmly used it to penetrate Ben. A second finger soon followed, manipulating him open as best he could.

"Need more..." Ben urged, hoping he'd pitched the demand correctly to sound as if it came solely from a standpoint of desire, rather than the tutorial it additionally was. He recognised he was asking a lot of Callum's relative inexperience here. He didn't want to leave him floundering; neither though did he want to admit that.

"Give a guy a chance will ya?" Callum responded gruffly, deciding that he might as well embrace the tempestuous mood. Leaning his upper body down to blanket that of his man, he applied his mouth to Ben's shoulder & bit down to leave his mark. "Near on four weeks it's been; since ya last gave me this. Reckon ya can hang on in there for a few more minutes, don't you?" He whispered hoarsely through hot breath to his ear.

Ben could only bite down the smirk that comment brought to his lips, realising just how much he needed Callum's unrelenting, grounding sense of authority. This was the one person in the world he would take any of it from - the harshest of home truths; the most brutal of character assassinations; pure physical pain - because Ben knew it all came from a place of love. This man would take him apart, shatter him into a million pieces, then put him back together again piece by intricate piece. If only Ben would let him.

Callum added a third finger, eliciting a growl of discomfort from the younger man, who writhed beneath him, working himself against those long fingers to open himself up as best he could.

An angry red mark, teeth indentations clearly visible, was already forming on Ben's shoulder, Callum observed. Guilt spiked in his stomach at the sight, knowing that mark had been dealt in frustration rather than passion. It wasn't about Callum staking a claim to his man; it was about asserting his power over him.

As his fingers scissored Ben apart, Callum leant back down & swirled a soothing tongue over the affliction he had caused; a silent apology spilling from mouth to skin. He didn't ever want to hurt this man, no matter how much Ben begged him to.

He understood this better than Ben knew. This type of bruising encounter was Ben's means of self-harm; just like all the beatings he had withstood over the years. If someone else was serving up the pain, at least Ben wasn't dishing it out to himself or the ones he loved.

Callum could sense Ben's impatience peaking, & knew he couldn't stall any longer. Brutal & uncompromising though this reunion was, it was taking place against a backdrop of their mutual trust, respect & utter want. 

Callum spat into the palm of his free hand, applying what natural lubrication he could summon to his own length, which he pumped at a few times for good measure.

Steadily, he withdrew his fingers & presented himself to Ben's opening instead. Before he could allow any crisis of conscience, he breached slowly, achingly into Ben, stilling himself once just inside to allow each of them a moment's adjustment.

Ben was taking shallow gasping breaths; one of Callum's hands rubbing circles at the small of his back. The elder man so badly wanted to utter words of love & reassurance, entreat his man to relax into their union, but knew any such gestures would be ill-received. 

So many of their sexual encounters to date had been about Ben giving Callum tenderness, encouragement & reward; Ben needed something entirely different from Callum now in return.

Callum eased himself back a little, then pressed back in again, a little deeper this time. He stilled once more, save the unrelenting circles he soothed to the base of Ben's spine.

"Go on..." Ben urged, voice deepened by determination; hands gripping to the far edge of the desk so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

Callum followed the command & eased himself yet further into Ben, expelling a sharp breath of air as the man's internal heat began to consume him. The lack of any lubricant or sheath serving only to intensify the spread of the fire.

Placing his hands to Ben's hips, Callum drew the younger man up from the table & back onto himself slightly, further increasing the penetration. As he completed the manoeuvre he watched Ben's fingers scrape agonisingly along the desktop, his nails emitting an uncomfortable scratching sound through the relative silence. 

"I'll go easy to start..." Callum suggested quietly, hoping Ben would at least permit him the one concession for the good of his own welfare.

"Don't..." Ben began to return overly abruptly, then amended his tone slightly. "Don't give me warnin' of what you're gonna do..."

There was a subtext to that assertion:_ I don't deserve any warning of when you might thrust into me so hard it'll cause me pain..._

Callum shook his head in disapproval, but knew it was pointless arguing. Taking a long slow breath that seemed somehow to seep through Ben also, he relaxed a little deeper into his man & began to rhythmically thrust, rocking their bodies in time as he did.

Ben straightened himself up, arched his back & involuntarily tipped his head back to rest it against the taller man's collarbone. His shallow pants of steadying breaths blowing hot air to Callum's neck, while his own eyes rolled to the back of his head in pleasure.

Callum's eyes had slipped shut in the interim; an attempt at keeping his emotions in check. Trying not to acknowledge how it meant everything to be back with Ben; trying not to let himself be overwhelmed by guilt at the physical toll this animalistic reunion would likely take on his lover.

It had suited Ben to find Callum's eyelids closed; it meant he didn't have to face up to those imploring blue eyes while he stole a few precious seconds of taking in the scent of the man. All he needed was a few grounding breaths after all…

The taller man reopening his eyes took them both unawares: Callum because it meant his tear-stained eyes were visible to the other man; Ben because it confronted him with the agony he'd caused.

Unable to face up to that, Ben contorted his facial features as if in ecstasy, & tipped his body weight forward to lean against the desk once more. Those eyes; he couldn't, wouldn't, let himself get lost in those eyes.

Callum gave a sniff to regain composure, then began to bury himself in Ben, thrusting harder, deeper, faster than before. Ben suddenly mightily relieved his face was obscured from Callum's view as his own tears began to flow. He'd pass them off as an involuntary reaction to the intense physicality of the moment of course, but knew in reality they were being shed laden with regret.

Shifting his arms on the desk to bear his own body weight, Ben began to fall apart, expelling a litany of moans & rushed expletives. All accompanied by Callum's own grunts of exertion.

The stifling air began to ring out with the sound of skin slapping against skin as Callum breached Ben fully & with maximum urgency. The footings of the desk beginning to shuffle against the floor as they reached full velocity; Ben's own manhood, lodged between stomach & desk taking full benefit of the reverberating vibration.

Through snatched, open-mouthed breaths, Ben exclaimed just one word in a heady shout as he came: "CALLUM..." The name that he'd resolutely refused to let slip from his lips for the past 21 days now wouldn't stop spilling from it as he climaxed. "Callum, Callum, Callum..."

Just the sound of his name falling from the man's lips in such ecstasy was enough to send Callum to his own high within seconds. The sensation of him emptying his load into Ben rather than a condom for the first time leaving them both close to delirium.

As Callum worked them through their last juddering moments of climax & their spent bodies relented, both men fighting to regain control of their breathing, a second, clumsier word crept from Ben's lips at a breathless whisper. "Babe..."

Lost in the moment, Ben had misplaced his pretence & the mask had momentarily slipped. He'd caught himself in the instant he'd uttered it, silently praying Callum hadn't heard the careless endearment slip from his tongue.

He had heard it, of course; Ben knew that in the instant he felt Callum press a tender kiss to the small of his back. Callum then sunk his weight down to encase his upper body protectively over Ben's once more, heaving hot, heavy breaths at his ear. "Worth me comin' back then, after all?"

Ben closed his eyes as he took his most selfish decision in months, choosing to imbibe each & every ember of their fire while it lasted, knowing he would have to be the one to starve its oxygen supply eventually. "Just wish it hadn’t taken ya so long..."


	113. Chapter 113

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B: Similar warnings regarding content of this chapter apply as per the previous chapter...Although we have now lost the uncompromising nature of those scenes. they are still up to shenanigans...

##  Unseen scene of 13/01/20

They lay there, part dazed, part blissed, as indeterminable seconds, maybe even minutes, ticked by. Callum breathing long raspy breaths that stood the individual hairs on Ben's neck to attention. 

"We should maybe..." Ben started to venture at a hoarse whisper, no real conviction in what he was saying. "Maybe think about moving, before you do me an actual injury..." As positions went, lying prone full frontal against a wooden desk, the post orgasmic dead weight of his taller lover pressing him further against it, wasn't exactly one for the mental scrap book. The sex that had been though: that definitely was.

"Who'd of thought it eh?" Callum surged hot breath at the younger man's ear. "Callum Highway potentially breaking Ben Mitchell's back in a sex session...."

There was a teasing quality to his tone, but real sentiment behind those words, they both knew. _Maybe I'm not quite the soft touch you had me down as after all..._

Ben swiftly steered away from that notion, opting instead to keep the tone light. "Just don't go puttin' that word about town: got my reputation to think of after all..."

Callum dealt the softest of kisses to Ben's ear lobe then began to shuffle his weight backwards. "Your secret's safe with me..." As he steadily withdrew from inside of Ben, he repeated the sentiment. "Always safe with me..."

Ben then heard a gasp of surprise stutter from the taller man's lips, as he watched his own seed spill out from where it had filled the younger man to the brim. 

Ben repositioned himself gradually, affording Callum every opportunity to see the overflowing remnants of their passion. Eventually, he righted himself & did the one thing he'd sworn he wouldn't do: looked Callum straight in the eye & dared to swim in that crystal blue ocean.

"More amazin' feels, yeah?" he smiled wistfully, harping back to the words they'd shared during Callum's first time. Ben knew these milestones & still felt proud to mark them for this man; with this man.

"More incredible feels..." Callum chuckled, easing them back into a kiss.  
Ben trailed gentle fingers down Callum's sternum, leading to him delivering a stroking caress to the elder man's spent, yet still achingly responsive cock.

Steadily, Ben leant out of their kiss to speak, although his lips remained close enough to Callum's to flutter against them as he did so. "Let me clean you up?"

Callum gave a nod of agreement, then looked on in silence as Ben slid down onto his knees before him. 

What followed then was something Callum could only really define as a moment. Ben handling him attentively in his mouth, licking, sucking, cleansing. All of the base instinct of before forgotten, as the younger man performed what transmitted back to Callum as the tenderest of acts.

Lacking in direct intent or urgency it may have been, but the sensation was still causing cartwheels in Callum's stomach & rousing a fire within. 

"Oh god Ben..." the elder man tilted his head to the ceiling as he expelled a shaky breath. He hadn't been sure where his return to Ben would end up taking them, but could only really have dreamt it would have been with the younger man on his knees like this. "You carry on like that for much longer & I'm gonna be in a bigger mess than when ya started..."

"Maybe that's my plan..." Ben's every word vibrated obscenely against Callum's ever-resurrecting manhood. "Want ya rushing hot through me again..."

A breath caught in Callum's throat at the very thought, so he slipped his hands to Ben's neck, tugging insistently at the various individual hairs there. As he did so, he tried hard not to muse too intently on the contradiction of the man before him: this man who had banished him weeks earlier, but was now welcoming him back with open arms & accommodating mouth.

_Talk about blowing hot & cold…_ Callum couldn’t resist the errant chuckle tumbling from his lips as he considered the somewhat inappropriate, yet peculiarly apt, thought that had just run through his head.

Ben’s actions stalled at the sound, his mouth popping free from Callum’s manhood, which he swiftly encircled instead with a coaxing hand. “Somethin’ amusing you up there?” The younger man’s eyes engaged those of the elder with his query.

Callum gave a flustered shake of his head, privately mourning the loss of being encompassed by the heat of Ben’s mouth. “Nah…” he swiftly assured. “Just tryin’ hard not to imagine Jay’s face if he walks into this office any time soon…”

“Mmmm…” Ben hummed in agreement, before unleashing a devilish smirk. “Better get a shift on then, hadn’t I?” Plunging his mouth back to its previous occupation, he increased his work rate up to a level of near frenzy that instantly banished from Callum any ability to think. 

Neither of them was destined to last long at the tempo Ben had suddenly set himself to, & it was all too soon for both of them that Callum reached his climax with a series of throaty growls as Ben concentrated intently on swallowing down all that was offered to him. 

When the moment passed & each man had managed to ground himself through a series of long, steady breaths, Ben’s softer side showed itself once more, as he pressed various lingering kisses to Callum’s thighs, then stomach, while his hands occupied themselves with tucking the elder man tenderly away back into his boxers.

With his mouth still nuzzled close into Callum’s stomach, Ben then slowly tugged the man’s jeans back up his legs, seeming to pause where he was for several achingly indecisive seconds before finally fastening the zipper back up. 

“There…” Ben spoke softly, as if more to himself than his wider audience, tracing the palms of both hands along the frontage of Callum’s now reinstated jeans. “Not a hint left of the mess we made…” His movements were slow & painstaking, as if laced with a sense of regret.

Callum’s fingers, still resting against the nape of Ben’s neck, began to lightly drum a soft rhythm to his skin, drawing the younger man back from his unexpected contemplation. Exhaling a deep breath, Ben steadily rose back to his feet, his palms continuing to plot a path up Callum’s body as he moved. 

As their eyes met again once Ben was returned fully to vertical, Callum gave him a warm smile, slipping a hand round to the front of the man’s face. “Ya missed a bit…” He smeared the residue of himself from the corner of Ben’s lips, collecting it on the pad of his thumb, which he then presented to Ben’s mouth.

Ben duly lapped softly at Callum’s thumb, claiming whatever last remnants of the man he could. “Let’s face it,” he then smiled wistfully, pressing the gentlest of kisses to the man’s digit. “I always was the one to leave the mess in our relationship…”

Callum knew there was far more to that sentence than met the eye. He though, like Ben too he suspected, wasn’t quite yet ready to face up to that truth; not when they could perhaps linger in the bubble of their unquestioning reunion a little longer. He flashed the other man a tempting smile. “Just so happens I worship every bit of your mess I can get…”


	114. Chapter 114

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. The smut warning continues into this chapter - Callum has a point to prove & he'll do so on terms he thinks Ben will understand.

##  Unseen scene of 13/01/20

Ben wasn’t entirely sure how this had happened. Three minutes ago, he’d been laying the groundwork of a regretful goodbye: discreetly returning the clothing to Callum’s body; committing to memory a few final caresses & kisses of the man’s skin as he did so. 

That sort of closing act was his lifeblood after all - even if it was more usually done with significantly less sentiment or feeling on Ben’s part – drawing a line under what had taken place between two consenting adults; each going their separate ways after taking their fill of what was on offer. 

Callum Highway though apparently hadn’t received that script – or if he had, he certainly hadn’t bothered to read it. Because now, impossibly, he had Ben slumped against his own desk with legs spread-eagled, & was on his knees before him, delivering what Ben could only really define as the blow job of his life. 

Jealously spiked momentarily through Ben’s veins, as between ragged breaths the thought hit him that maybe Callum had been practicing & refining this particular craft over recent weeks with any number of hook ups, but in reality he knew that to be highly improbable. 

He rapidly chased the thought away though, knowing that even if Callum had, it was little of Ben's business now, & he'd encouraged the man to do the very same anyhow. 

"Almost forgot how good you are at this..." Ben stuttered out through a shaky breath, lust-filled eyes looking down to meet Callum's, similarly alight, half way.

It caught Ben out every time: those innocent, doting eyes that Callum possessed alongside of a mouth that was truly gifted in committing near sinful acts.

"Unforgettable, me..." Callum beamed brightly, emitting a hearty chuckle that reverberated through Ben. "Oh god..." the younger man near whimpered in immediate return, throwing his head back wildly & rolling his eyes to the ceiling. 

"That mouth of yours..." Ben managed to heave out through laboured breaths. "I swear you could talk me into almost anythin' when you're doin' this..."

They were words he hadn't truly understood himself to be uttering in the heat of the moment, but Ben soon realised he had indeed given voice to them when he felt Callum's lips slip gradually from his length.

"Anythin'?" Callum gripped hands to Ben's hips, applying occasional pressure with his thumbs as he brought a pause to proceedings. 

"Babe, don't stop," Ben instantly lamented. "You were on to somethin' truly special there..." He looked down with an expression that was torn between bemusement & utter frustration.

Callum began to trace circles about the man's hip bones. "Just wonderin' precisely how much I can get ya to agree to while I've got you in this state..." With an upward gaze that never faltered from Ben's eyes, he placed momentary kitten licks to his tip, backing off in between each time.

"N...not fair..." Ben fumbled out clumsily.   
Callum appeared curious. "Ya sure you really wanna be startin' a conversation about bein' fair?"

An unspoken exchange started to take place between their eyes, as Callum continued to flex circles to skin with his thumbs.

Ben swallowed down hard, visibly squirming under the elder man's unrelenting gaze. "Cal-lum..." he tried to warn through a juddering breath, just as the man's tongue lapped outwards to commit a tortuously slow act along his length.

Callum gave a smile that reeked of self-satisfaction: he'd made his point, he hoped. "You need to start believin' in me too, Ben Mitchell..." Holding their gaze for a few further long seconds, he then buried his head back in the direction of Ben's crotch, determined to deliver every ounce of pleasure he could.

"Cal..." Ben groaned out insatiably at the instant he felt himself enveloped by the heat of his mouth once more. "Feels...feels so..."

Any expectation or thought of continuing conversation was then lost as Ben succumbed to Callum's charms. Thrusting his hands to Callum’s head, Ben began to trail his fingers through the man’s hair with total abandon, working individual strands free from the hold of whatever styling product had been applied that morning. Utterly lost in the mix of heady sensations, Ben let slip another whispered admission. “I believe...”

What right did he have not to, after all? When this wonder of a man had returned to him, & in their shared moments like this truly nothing else mattered. 

Ben fell apart swiftly as such thoughts surged through him: cheeks flushed with a blaze of emotion & heartbeat racing with desire. “Oh god...” he came with an exclamation that quite frankly could have been aimed direct at Callum, rather than just an expression of feeling completely overwhelmed. 

“Feels, yeah?” Callum eventually grinned having tasted every last drop of Ben’s essence.  
“And then some...” Ben concurred with a candour that took them both a little by surprise.

Callum placed a tender kiss to his man’s spent length, & then reciprocated the delicate act Ben had earlier performed for him, reinstating first boxer shorts then trousers, although he found himself tugged back up to meet Ben’s height before he could think about refastening the zipper in place. 

“Not important right now...” Ben urged gruffly, pressing an insistent kiss to Callum’s mouth. “Right now, this is everything that’s important...” Rising up from his perched position against the desk, & trying not to think of the uncomfortable imprint the wood had left against his buttocks, Ben pressed hands to Callum’s chest & pushed him firmly backwards, causing him to land unceremoniously in a seated position on the benched seating beside them. Ben toppled down on him mere seconds later, taking up a straddling position over the taller man’s lap.

“You’d better hold on to me tight...” Ben smirked, leaning into crash their lips back together. “Don’t want me fallin’...”  
“I got ya...” Callum assured, wrapping firm, reliable hands around his waist. “I’ve always got ya...” he repeated at a murmur, as they first collided then settled into a kiss that encapsulated everything that was good about them: hectic, liberating & all-consuming. Ben dipping & writhing to keep their laps in time; Callum’s hands slipping past the waistband of Ben’s trousers again to knead at the soft skin of his lower back. All accompanied by the younger man’s familiar moaning expressions of delight, & the elder’s breathy responses of amusement. 

For as long as this most precious of bubbles could survive, they both intended to fully sustain it.


	115. Chapter 115

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who's been stoically looking away from the past few chapters due to the smut can safely now look in again. You've missed "nothing" in real terms, as at a point of this chapter we'll rejoin them where actual canon rejoined them onscreen, post shenanigans...
> 
> I think it is worth pointing out again that I don't write the more adult scenes lightly or without good reason - I think much can be read into the state of Ben & Callum's relationship, or sometimes their individual psyches, by the representation of their physical relationship

##  Unseen scene of 13/01/20 merging into actual scene

The kiss they were perpetuating, while leaving both men increasingly breathless, seemed to simultaneously breathe new life into them. Faces that had been pallid of colour & marked with weariness, were now aglow with flush & vigour; limbs that had felt heavy & cumbersome, now sparked with energy. 

Ben, though, reluctantly separated their mouths, then leant his forehead into Callum’s. “Never realised ya could snog someone for so long it eventually anaesthetises ya lips…” he chuckled softly, drawing Callum’s eyes down with his own to take in the sight of both their lips: reddened & swollen from a mix of desire & activity.

Callum’s mouth was so badly longing to form the words he felt every second of their kissing had surely been conveying between them, but remained fearful of scaring Ben off, so instead played along in the moment. “Ain’t so sure it’s just the snoggin’ that’s done all that damage…” he smiled knowingly, his tongue then darting along his own lower lip to give it some much needed moisture.

Ben bit down on his own lip & leant his weight backwards a little to take in more fully the sight of the man before him. “Quite the bed hair look you’ve got goin’ on now babe…” he smiled in obvious appreciation of what he was seeing.  
“Ya wanna try lookin’ in a mirror…” Callum returned, implying that his man’s hair was in a similarly ruffled, unkempt state.  
“Nah I don’t,” Ben again began to speak words he hadn’t even truly processed himself to be thinking. “Not when I could be lookin’ at you instead…”

They drifted back all to easily into a kiss: lazier this time, but still with no less meaning behind it, but found themselves interrupted eventually by the ringing of the office’s landline.  
“Ya wanna get that?” Callum backed away from their kiss to offer magnanimously.  
“Nope…” Ben chased back towards the man’s lips.  
“Ya need to get that?” Callum rephrased his question.  
“Perhaps…” the younger man sighed, but still looked utterly reluctant to move from the spot, idly tracing a lone finger up & down the column of Callum’s neck.

After what felt like an eternity of rings, the answerphone began to click in. “Too late now…” Ben smiled triumphantly, again seeking out Callum’s lips to return to their kiss, which they both engaged with apparently renewed passion, until the sound of Jay’s voice resounded about them. “Ben, if you’re there, pick up the goddam phone will ya…” 

They both froze mid kiss, akin to two teenagers caught by their parents. A huff of impatience transmitted down the telephone line, then Jay spoke again. “I sincerely hope this means you’re out on the forecourt strikin’ a deal with a punter, & not slackin’ off somewhere. I’ve already tried yer mobile twice. I’ll be over shortly: mountain & Muhammad & all that…”

Another click of the phone line indicated the call had been terminated, leaving nothing but silence in the room.  
“Has Jay found God or somethin’ while I’ve been gone?” Callum chuckled, lifting a hand to sweep the forelock of Ben’s dishevelled hair backwards.  
Ben quirked a suggestive eyebrow in return. “He’s lucky he called ahead, or he might just of found a whole lot more than God in here…” He stole one last kiss from the other man’s lips, then began to shuffle his weight away. “We should probably…”  
“Yeah, course…” Callum confirmed unquestioningly, offering out a guiding hand to help Ben back to his feet. 

As Callum redistributed his weight in his seat & began to right the buttons on his shirt, Ben shuffled across the office & began to adjust his trousers back to a semblance of decency. 

Callum glanced up at the familiar chinking sound of Ben’s belt buckle & surveyed the state their passion had left their surroundings in, finding an immediate source of amusement. “Jay’s gonna go ballistic when he sees what we've done to his desk…” 

Ben eyed his man with an expression of devilment. “Ya know there’s easier ways of gettin’ a discount on a motor, don’t ya…”


	116. Chapter 116

## Actual scene of 13/01/20

Callum decided there & then, in that shared clandestine moment between them, it was now or never to say what had wanted to spill from his lips since the moment he had walked through the car lot door, which now seemed a lifetime ago given all that had passed between them. 

Ben hadn't bolted or reacted badly; to the contrary in fact. He'd given Callum his all: passion throughout, but increasingly hints of regret & apology as their encounter had continued. All lavished on Callum through the medium of total attentiveness. 

The Ben he had known himself to love had returned in the most intimate of exchanges, leaving Callum with the sudden confidence to speak his mind with the real & proper hope Ben would both hear him out & respond.

Callum stopped fiddling with his shirt buttons & sat back to look at Ben, now perching on the edge of the desk, directly. "I've missed you..." He uttered the words from his heart & with obvious feeling.

Ben instantly glanced up from giving his attention to fastening his own shirt buttons. Unusually, he simply looked at Callum in return; neither immediately shying away from his gaze or sternly challenging it.

"Yeah..." Ben took in a long breath & glanced back downwards, before looking back to Callum to give his most sincere response. "Yeah, I missed you too..."

Callum dared to dream then: a rare glimpse of emotional honesty from Ben Mitchell. "So why'd ya break up with me then?"

As quickly as Ben's truth had been shown though, so the man began to barricade it away again. The flush of post-coital colour began to pale from his cheeks & his eyes suddenly refused direct contact, darting about erratically. 

"This was a mistake..." Ben had to swiftly cough at the realisation his words still came out sounding too soft, too uncertain, employing the tactic of moving up & away from the desk as a means of distraction. 

"It was a...it was a fun mistake, but it was a mistake". With his voice restored to a tone more normal, Ben gave his damning appraisal, shuffling paperwork so he didn't have to see the effect his words were having.

Callum leant his weight forward in rejection of what he was hearing. "It didn't feel like one Ben..." A sudden firm resolve in his voice & his expression. 

"Yeah well it was," Ben continued to busy himself with collecting up papers displaced in their throes of passion, casually wagging one in the air in evidence of what he was saying. "Now I'd er, I'd better get back to work..." He remained unable to look the other man in the eye, a fact neither of them failed to notice.

Callum near laughed in the face of such audacity, but chose instead to disguise his reaction by first running a weary hand against his face, then looking away to gather his thoughts. He was struck by a sense of Deja vu here: Ben once again unwilling, or perhaps unable, to consent to his part in a rational conversation.

"I'll see ya later, yeah..." As Ben delivered his throwaway line - the sort of casual let down he probably used to give to hook ups he had no intention of ever seeing again - Callum sat quiet & psyched himself up for his next move, nodding his head to goad himself into it.

"I spoke to Stuart..." With fresh resolve found, Callum tried again. "He told me about Sharon & Keanu..."

His words instantly hit a nerve as Ben, with his back now turned, ceased his movements, cocked his head to the side & listened in.

"Is that why you've been actin' so weird lately?" Sensing a slight change in the man, Callum leant back again & studied Ben's features as he continued to press. "You can talk to me Ben...Did somethin' happen?"

There were precious seconds then, where Callum thought he saw the facade start to slip again. Ben turned sideways-on to face him a little more, engaged eye contact, took in some uncertain breaths. Callum simply responded by relaxing his posture to appear less confrontational, his eyes never straying from Ben's.

There was upset there, Callum could see: a watery tinge that hinted at floodgates that might just be ready to open. Callum felt sure Ben knew, understood, that his confidences would be safe with him. It had been true with roles reversed not so far back, after all.

Ben's eyes snatched away though, & he fell back on humour to extract himself from his discomfort at the situation. "Hey look at you: you're not even a copper yet, & you're already asking questions".

The wise cracking fell short for Callum though, who responded with fire. "Just stop with the stupid jokes Ben: I just wanna know what's been going on with you. I wanna know the truth..."

Ben slumped heavily back down against the desk, rubbing the palm of his right hand against his forehead. He emerged from the position with a resigned expression. "You're too good for me Callum..."

He could see the bewildered wonderment in the elder man's eyes, already knowing that flat rejection of that sentiment was coming, so in direct contrast to what he'd done earlier, he softened his tone & repeated the assertion. "You're too good for me; that's the truth..." For the first time in minutes, direct eye contact was actually maintained.

All Callum could offer in return was a look of dejection that was swiftly confounded as Ben spoke again.  
"So why don't you do us both a favour & walk away, yeah? This'll all end in tears, & they won't be mine..."

Callum remained at a loss as to the disconnect between what he was hearing & what he was seeing: Ben trying to deliver a firm dismissal, while his eyes welled with tears & he sniffed back emotion.

Unable to bear the weight of Callum's gaze any longer, the younger man again turned away.

As Callum stood to leave, staring Ben down as he passed by & paused to retrieve his rucksack from beside the door, it wasn't sadness he was feeling at this newest destruction of their relationship, nor any sense of self-pity for what had been.

All he felt was sadness that the man before him, on whom he had spent all his heart, soul & stamina, thought so little of himself that he considered himself unworthy of Callum's love. 

That was a realisation that hurt way beyond any callous words Ben could choose to throw at him.


	117. Chapter 117

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably best nobody asks me what this chapter is, as I quite frankly have no idea - do feel free to give me an insight if you work it out though: I just wrote the flipping thing, doesn't mean I have an inkling of where the meaning actually lies!
> 
> I want to have a little focus on Callum post Car Lot reunion - I think we all know Ben's psyche at the time was a potent mix of denial & self-loathing. Where was Callum at though?

## Unseen scene of 13/01/20

Callum settled himself on a bench in the centre of the Square, & began to mull over everything that had just taken place. 

He'd arrived back in Walford with so many questions, & had found Ben to be answering the majority of them through actions alone. But then the man had closed himself down again, shut himself away, leaving Callum bereft once more.

How could a reunion that had felt so natural, so inevitable, so right suddenly be denied again in the blink of tear-filled eyes?

A firm hand grasped suddenly to his shoulder snatched Callum from his thoughts.  
"You're back mate!" Jay, complete with a bag of chips & a tendency to state the bleeding obvious, settled himself beside Callum on the bench. "Chip?"

"Nah, you're alright thanks," Callum mustered a smile that he felt about as far removed from as physically possible.  
Jay simply shrugged an acceptance & began to tuck in. "When d'ya get back?"

"Just this mornin'," Callum returned quietly. "Thought it was about time I surface again".  
"Ain't been the same without your cheery face around mate..." Jay began to suggest before shovelling a handful of chips into his mouth. "How'd that plan of yours to clear ya head work out?"

Callum expelled a long breath of air. "Yeah, it worked I guess..." What a difference a couple of hours had made, as he now felt less sure of himself than when he'd first set foot off the train.

"Ben know you're back?" Jay's hand hovered on the verge of selecting another chip as he voiced his next question.

Callum took a wary glance in the other man's direction, wondering what, if anything, he already knew, & whether he'd seen the devastation for himself - both in the guise of Ben & the mess their passion had made of his desk.

He just looked like the same old Jay though: water off a duck's back, apparently incapable of fluster at the majority of things. Callum suspected whether the man knew anything or didn't know anything, he wouldn't be letting on.

"Yeah, Ben knows..." Callum solemnly answered the question.  
"And how's tricks with the two of ya?" Jay sniffed, apparently nonchalant.

Callum raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Tricks?"  
"Yeah you know," Jay promptly rephrased. "How's the lay of the land between the pair of ya?"

Callum responded with a nervous chortle. "Rocky I'd say; verging on unsafe..."  
Jay shoved a chip in his mouth as his brow furrowed into an expression suggesting deep thought.

"How's Ben been, while I've been away Jay?" Callum decided if he couldn't get answers from Ben, he might as well seek them elsewhere.

Jay chewed down his latest mouthful more slowly. "He's..." Jay chewed down a little longer. "He's been Ben, ya know?" As if trying to transmit something unspoken, he glared Callum straight in the eye.

Callum couldn't resist a fond smile. "Ya mean chaotic, over-dramatic & demanding..."  
"Pretty much so..." Jay shrugged. "Can't blame him really, given the whole Sharon & Keanu thing..." Almost as soon as he'd said it, Jay checked himself. "Shit, ya had heard about that, hadn't ya?"  
"I'd heard..." Callum agreed with a smile of reassurance. "How'd Ben take it at the time?”

Jay’s brows again seemed to knit themselves together as one. “Pretty calmly, I guess. Nothing Ben ain’t seen before, after all. Phil & Sharon have always been on the tempestuous side of things...”  
“Tempestuous!” Callum huffed out in amusement. “Maybe Ben’s actually more like his dad than he knows...”

“What’s that mate?” Jay hurriedly questioned, having failed to hear.  
“Don’t matter,” Callum shook his head, knowing that statement had been more for himself anyway than actual public consumption.  
Jay seemed unfazed & just picked back up on his narrative. “I mean who saw that one coming, eh: Sharon & Keanu?”

“Who indeed...” Callum mused agreeably, then settled on a question he really wanted to ask. “Where’s Keanu now then?” He ensured a casual tone to the enquiry.  
“Legged it, ain’t he?” Jay sniffed. “I mean, let’s face it, he’d have a screw loose if he stuck about waiting to be on the receiving end of Phil’s wrath”.

Callum looked across at the other man with a curious expression, staying silent for a moment while weighing up his options. “What’s this hold Phil Mitchell’s got over everyone Jay?” he eventually queried, in a tone that was intentionally measured. 

Jay, who had previously seemed preoccupied with licking the remnants of salt from his fingers, suddenly sat stock still & a little taller in his posture. “I don’t follow…”  
“Ben for instance,” Callum shrugged his shoulders. “Why does he spend ‘alf his time breakin’ his back to please Phil, then the other ‘alf runnin’ scared of him?”  
“It was ever thus my friend…” Jay near riddled back in return. 

“So which d’ya think Ben’s doin’ at the moment?” Callum had hauled himself this far through what was an increasingly awkward conversation, so thought he might as well go the whole hog. “Doin’ all he can to please Phil, or livin’ in fear of him?”

Jay imbibed a long breath of air, then pursed his lips together while his eyebrows raised another inch all by themselves. As he scrunched up the now empty chip paper in what seemed to be an overly demonstrative manner, then moved to stand, he finally gave his considered response. “Them two things are one in the same, ain’t they mate?”


	118. Chapter 118

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a fan of this chapter or the previous one, to be honest. So just getting them out there, in the hope of swiftly moving on to something more coherent.

## Unseen scene of 13/01/20

Callum stepped out from the shower with his mind still full of the conundrum that was Ben Mitchell, & how the light bursting for escape from within the man had shut off again so instantaneously. He’d seen it happen: the instant the switch had flicked & the shutters had made their descent. 

Callum truly had thought he’d found a way through all the bravado & bullshit: a means of demonstrating to Ben that they were equals who could share the load. And more than that even: who could transcend the nonsense if they faced it together. He’d seen a flicker of that thought cross Ben’s features too: a moment’s hesitation where the choice was his as to whether to let the façade fall. Callum couldn’t help think, couldn’t help believe, Ben had been but a matter of millimetres from actually doing it too. 

“Argh…” Callum expelled a grumble of dissatisfaction at the thought of how close he’d been, as he ran the towel roughly through his hair to remove the excess of moisture. He looked in the mirror & met himself with a look of steely determination: persuading Ben is a marathon, not a sprint, he reminded himself sagely. 

Trust, & more pertinently in Ben’s case, the ability to allow yourself to trust, would come only with time, & luckily for both of them, Callum was a patient man. He would give Ben some space to breathe, to think on what had been of their emotionally charged reunion, then return to him once more with a reminder that he had no intention of backing away. 

That was what Ben had really been asking of him, surely after all, with that throw away line of his: _”I’ll see you later, yeah?”_ Ben might not have been ready to admit a need for Callum in his life in so many words, but it was there, locked away, the elder man knew it. 

Settled in his mindset & with a towel securely fastened around his midriff, Callum placed a palm to the door handle & pressed it lightly down. He gave a protracted nod of his head in silent agreement with himself that a couple of days’ distance from Ben should do it, as he wandered out of the bathroom paying little attention to his wider surroundings. His body might have been cleansed of any lingering trace of the younger man, but his mind & soul were still full of him after all, so Ben still distracted every one of his waking thoughts.

From out of his eyeline Callum heard a sudden rushed commotion of shouting, feeling it backed up by the swift swipe of something to the back of his head. “Ouch, Jesus…” he grumbled, raising a hand to the rear of his scalp in instinctive response to whatever had just hit, spinning on his feet to face his assailant as he did so. “Bloody hell, Stu, what in all that’s holy was that for?”

Assessing the scene before him, Callum found his brother brandishing the offending object that Callum had presumably just been struck with, alongside of widened, obviously aghast eyes.  
“Callum?” Stuart bemoaned as he began to realise his mistake. “I thought you was a burglar…”

Callum slipped his hand away from the back of his own head, pausing to check there was no trace of blood. “Ya know many burglars that take a shower in the place they’re robbin’ do ya?” he spoke through of huff of exasperated breath.  
“How was I supposed to know it was you?” Stuart ranted through a notably high-pitched voice. “Last I heard, you had no plans to be comin’ home any time soon…”

“Yeah,” Callum gave a shrug of his exposed shoulders. “Well things changed. It’s my flat after all, so I’m entitled to come & go as I please, without being accountable to you”.

“Sorry bruv…” Stuart softened to become notably sheepish at what he’d done. “I ain’t hurt ya, ‘av I?”  
Callum simply responded with a wry smile & disbelieving shake of his head. “Let’s just say it’s lucky for both of us that a metal fish slice ain’t exactly any sort of notable weapon eh?”


	119. Chapter 119

## Unseen scene merging into actual scene of 14/01/20

_"Come on Callum: can't go from caviar to sausage rolls, can ya?"_

Callum was on his fourth rotation of the Square, pounding endless street upon street, as Ben's mind fuck of jealousy played on repeat through his head.

One minute the younger man was pushing him away, demanding Callum maintain his distance; the next he was obliterating his own rules, sweeping back into Callum's life & playing within it as he saw fit.

Callum was bemused, frustrated, irritated beyond belief that Ben thought himself to have the right.

And, whisper it ever so quietly, just ever so slightly amused by Ben's choice of metaphor in pissing over the bonfire of what he had mistakenly thought to be Callum's date.

But most of all - most of bloody all - Callum was just fed up with doing things on Ben's terms. 

The original plan was now out the window as Callum banged impatiently on the Mitchells' back door: he couldn't give this the breathing space of days he'd set aside earlier. Matters needed progressing now.

"Who d'you think you are, eh?" Callum was barely through the door before he began his verbal assault on Ben, marching on into the sitting room, not waiting to be invited.

"So much for leaving you alone..." Ben followed through meekly, in both the physical & spoken sense.

"What gives you the right to just swan in & out of my life whenever you want?" Callum tried to ignore the notion he was now on the verge of being similarly guilty, disguising any uncertainty with demonstrative arms & hands. "Telling me who I can date; who I can sit with? What am I to you? Just some little project you can just pick up & throw away whenever you want to?"

Ben, to his uncharacteristic credit, stood silent & took the ear bashing, although due perhaps more to regret than compassion. "I'm sorry..." he choked out in a voice rasped with emotion as he slumped down on the sofa. "It won’t happen again".

Callum, wrong-footed in equal measure by his own force of tone & Ben's submissive response to it, softened to a sentiment of explanation. "That was Jack's mate, Ben. He was helpin' me with my police assessment...What, d'ya really think I could just move on that quick?"

The lack of any verbal response & the absolute stillness of Ben's posture dragged Callum further back from his confrontational stance, as he ran a hand along his face to stem any emotion, & folded himself downwards to sit against the arm of the sofa.

Hands grasped together in his lap, he glanced away for inspiration then back towards Ben again. This was sooner than the elder man had planned for any such conversation to be taking place; he just had to hope they'd both withstand it.

"I'm not scared, Ben..." Callum began defiantly. "A few stolen cars, with a few dodgy car deals; a black eye & a few stitches here & there? What, d'you think that scares me? I thought about it a lot when I was away, & I can handle it, Ben. I ain't gotta agree with everything that you do, but I can handle it".

He was looking across to watch how his words were being received, but still there was no movement, nothing. So Callum entreated again. "For you...For you Ben, because I love you".

The reaction to such endearment was immediate: Ben at first uncertain where to look, where to distribute his weight; then leaning forward, as if wanting to cocoon himself. "Listen, I can't..."

"No. You want this too, & that is why yesterday happened..." Callum broke back in, wanting to seize his chance. "So you give me one good reason why we can't just be happy. One proper reason, & I will walk away..."

The gauntlet had been thrown in the only type of manner Ben truly knew. He sat in silence for tortuous seconds, an inner debate clearly taking place as he pinched at his mouth with his fingers. For every reason that his head ventured a reason not to speak the words, his heart answered back in retaliation, the latter finally winning out.

"Because a man's dead..." Ben looked Callum straight in the eye as he spoke with a sudden directness, then softened his tone as he realised just what he was letting slip. "A man's dead because of me..."

"What d'ya mean? Who's dead? Callum's thoughts flurried through emotions of uncertainty, bewilderment & disbelief.  
Ben, though, wasn't done, leaving any questions the elder man might hope to ask floundering.

"You know how I feel about you Callum. You know...But..." As Ben fell silent they each individually lamented that there always had to be a but.

"But I meant what I said: you're too good for me. And this ain't just stolen cars & a black eye: it's more than that. And it always, always, will be..." Ben spoke his words as he sniffed back upset.

There was a growing antagonism in his delivery, as he challenged every fibre of the elder man's moral compass. 

"Now you sit there, & you tell me that you ain't scared. Now you sit there & tell me that you'll love me no matter what...Now's your chance..."

So Callum did sit, didn't make an instant bolt for the door: responded with receptive eyes to the pleas being simultaneously issued by Ben's, stained as they were with tears. 

Callum sat, & for fleeting seconds thought he could, would, repeat his declaration of love for the broken man before him. But he finally realised that couldn’t be as Ben uttered two final words that changed everything for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can confirm that rewatching the actual canon scene of this near 3 months on is still just as painful as the first time


	120. Chapter 120

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope everyone is continuing to stay well & sane during this most bizarre of times.
> 
> Week 3 of lockdown for me has seen a nosedive in productivity & inspiration I'm afraid, hence fewer updates of late while I battle through writing what are inevitably some gloomy chapters. Not especially sure I've in anyway captured enough of Callum's heartbreak, but posting anyway in an attempt to keep up momentum. ..

## Actual scene of 14/01/20 merging into unseen scene

"Prove it". 

Two words that independently were so inane, so harmless, but combined together now into their own free-standing phrase, tore more painfully at Callum's insides than anything else Ben had said. His confession of guilt over a man's death included.

Powerless to stomach that sensation, or look Ben in the eye any longer, Callum rose decisively to his feet, & fled from the house in a sweep of air, without saying another word.

His flight took him no further than the far side of the external kitchen door though, which he slammed behind him, then slowly slumped down against; his legs crumpling beneath the weight of his emotion, & his body sinking down to the ground.

_Prove it_  
Prove it  
Prove it 

Ben's final words ridiculed at Callum's ears as he broke down into a sob. It was an ugly sob at that: the sort where your lungs snatch for air through stunted, grabbing breaths, while your bottom lip quivers uncontrollably. 

_Prove it_

The reason Ben's goad rankled so much? Because Callum felt all he had done was prove himself to Ben during the development of their relationship.

_Kiss me; if you're ready, then prove it..._

Three months hence & Callum had been willing to accept Ben's bait: in fairness, he'd needed the prompt at the time: the permission to act as he so wanted. There & then, in the Vic, Callum had wanted nothing more than to prove himself to Ben. 

And since that seminal moment, Callum felt he had continued to prove himself to Ben time & time again: in learning to enjoy himself & let himself be happy; in showing his police aspirations to be very much real, in attempting to stand by Ben, even as he pushed him away.

He would have stayed this time too: until Ben had issued those two hurtful words. 

Running the back of his hand roughly across his face to wipe at his tears, Callum then formed a fist from the same hand & slammed it dejectedly against his thigh.

This was precisely why he'd resolved on giving Ben some breathing space following their frenzy at the Car Lot, because he knew in a cornered moment they'd both say, both do, things they'd regret. 

Callum just hadn't expected that moment would come at his own instigation, even if it was in response to Ben's warped actions.

Expelling a heavy sigh of regret, Callum fumbled his way back to his feet, pausing by the door for further soulless seconds as he fought an internal battle between conscience & heart over returning to Ben.

Their roles had reversed: while Callum's conscience, so long the guardian of his true sexuality in refusing to acknowledge it, now urged his return to Ben; his heart, that which had eventually caved & given its all to Ben, compelled him to now simply walk away.


	121. Chapter 121

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With sincere apologies for the lack of update for several days, when I know many have been enjoying a daily slice of this action while we're in such peculiar times.
> 
> Unfortunately the dreaded writer's block has made an unwelcome appearance.
> 
> I can only apologise for what disjointed rubbish this fic has become at present - I will be back on track once we reach Ben's decision not to go to Portugal as those are scenes I am already ahead on writing. Just need to struggle on & get there first...
> 
> Stick with it gang, please.

## Scene development of 16/01/20

Ben clattered his way through the Car Lot office door, casting the briefest of glances to Jay's desk on his right, & thanking his lucky stars his brother was nowhere to be seen. 

Reason one being that Ben could do without the likely ear bashing about the inconsistent work hours he chose to keep, & reason two being he didn't want an audience for what was about to take place. 

Shoving the door firmly closed & applying its internal lock, he turned & pressed his back to it, staring blankly at the office space before him. With a surge of self-loathing, he abruptly slammed the back of his head hard against the door, simultaneously cursing the shockwave of pain it sent down his body, while acknowledging he deserved every single reverberation of it. 

He then slid his weight steadily to the ground; his back still braced against the door. As he slumped on the inhospitable floor, he repeated the motion of crashing his head against the door: one, two, three more times.

"Fuck"  
"Fuck"  
"Fuck"

A curse accompanied each head-thumping punishment he dealt to himself, before he raised his knees to his chest & wrapped his arms tight around them, desperate to block out the pain of what he'd just done to Callum.

\- - -

Callum hadn't known what he was anticipating when he buzzed Ben into the flat some fifteen minutes earlier. 

Two main notions had been spinning through his mind as he'd moved to the landing on the stairs to meet Ben partway: the hope Ben might be about to deliver some kind of olive branch, alongside of memories of the previous time he had buzzed a contrite Ben up to the flat & the night of epiphany that had followed.

Neither of those outcomes were to be coming his way though, Callum had swiftly realised, as Ben pinned him aggressively to the nearest wall. In that instant he'd realised it wasn't to be reconciliation, but antagonism.

"What are you doin'?" Callum had stuttered out, part in shock, part in utter disbelief.

"Who did you tell?" Ben growled out accusationally, hands clenched as tight fists at the clothing on Callum's chest. "What I told you about what I did: who did you talk to?" His words spoken aggressively right into the other man's face.

"I haven't said anythin'..." After several failed interjections Callum had managed to get a word in.  
"I need the truth, Callum, alright: I need to know what you've said..."

"I didn't...no, I wouldn't..." Callum begged to reason, staring the shorter man fully in the eyes to reaffirm that message. As he'd seen Ben's resolve flicker, felt the grip of his hands soften, Callum had taken the chance to push him from out of his space.

"Anything else?" Callum had then queried flippantly, in a manner that was more akin to Ben, who he needed to understand the lunacy of his own behaviour.

"I'm sorry..." Ben's beligerence shattering in mere milliseconds. "The police were round the house, so I..."

In no mood for excuses or explanations, Callum had shot him down. "If that's all you came here for, then you can go..."

"I wasn't..." Ben's turn to plead had come.  
"Just go..." Callum simply reiterated with uncharacteristic force, shaking his head as he watched Ben slowly skull away. 

Callum remained now, just where Ben had left him: at the top of the stairs, but slumped on his backside, with his back leant against the wall, wondering, full of sorrow, just what they'd become.

\- - -

Ben despised that there were facets of his father's character that he found himself increasingly succumbing to: irrational, impetuous behaviour the most of all.

Yes, Ben was a drama queen who lived for attention & the rush it gave, but he prided himself that, unlike his father, he gave consideration to any & every move before he made it, even if that didn't always appear the case.

So hunched down now on the grubby Car Lot floor, he was disgusted by the latest self-assessment scrolling through his mind: he had let his father sew the seed of doubt within him, & had duly jumped to the conclusion that Callum had been to the police 

The sole redeeming factor Ben could see in himself was that he hadn't admitted that suspicion to his father, still seeking to protect Callum from his harsh reality at all costs. 

Ben, while fearful that his former boyfriend had done the dirty, would never expose someone he still cared so deeply about to the retribution of the Mitchells after all.

Still, that couldn't forgive that Ben had so clumsily chosen a path to take his frustrations out on Callum, demanding truths from him with menace.

If he closed his eyes now, Ben could envisage the exact moment he'd realised his error: seen from the look in Callum's eyes that this was a man would never betray his secrets.

Pressing the heels of his hands firmly to his eye sockets, Ben tried to quell the rush of repentant tears that were now streaming freely. 

He had to right this wrong somehow.

Somehow.

\- - - 

Callum felt the buzz of his phone rather than actually heard it.

From his position still seated at the top of the stairs, still trying to understand what with Ben had been, he absent-mindedly wrestled the phone from his pocket & stared uncertainly at the three-letter name on the screen.

Ben

Just thirty minutes ago, Callum would have been eager to hear from this man: keen to establish if there was a way forward for the after all. Now, he wasn't so sure.

Still though, that name enticed him towards whatever message had been sent, & he was powerless to stop himself reading it.

_I'm sorry.  
Yet again proof you really are too good for me: I wouldn't blame you if you'd landed a punch on me. It's the least I deserved.  
Sorry.  
Truly_

Having read the words repeatedly, Callum stared off into the middle distance, swiping his tongue along his bottom lip in nervous uncertainty, as he tried to comprehend just what his response, if any, should actually be.


	122. Chapter 122

## Scene development of 17/01/20

Callum's response to Ben's message, it turned out, was to say nothing in return, & in a perhaps even less likely turn of events, to agree to a date with a complete stranger courtesy of Rainie's well-meaning, yet clearly interfering, matchmaking. 

So it was that he found himself in the Albert, watching the retreat of Simon, his date for the evening, across the bar & in the direction of the toilets; his chivalrous offer to Callum of a get-out-of-jail-free card now playing out.

_Run away  
Turn away  
Run away  
Turn away  
Run away_

The near prophetic words of Bronski Beat's _Smalltown Boy_ echoed around the bar while Callum twitched indecisively, unable to comprehend if he should run away from thoughts of Ben in the direction of Simon, or turn away from Simon & head back towards Ben.

God only knew how, but somehow Rainie - wildcard, madcap, off-the-wall Rainie - had actually conjured up a perfectly reasonable proposition in Simon: well-mannered, well-groomed, engaging, self-effacing.

Simon, it seemed, was the archetypal safe pair of hands. Or in the more crude terms of Rainie, the perfect bike to clamber back aboard, with stabilisers added for that extra bit of assurance, Callum chuckled wryly to himself.

But maybe therein lay the problem: was it now really stabilisers Callum needed? As an out & proud gay man, should he not be capable of balance all by himself? Finding his own centre of gravity & sticking resolutely to it?

Would someone like Simon actually ever have given Callum the confidence in his own skin to come out? Perhaps - that was too harsh a judgement to take on first meeting after all - but maybe Ben's more in his face approach had been just what he'd needed.

Callum knew he was at risk of clowning himself here, but maybe he was better off finding his own sense of balance than relying on somebody else to provide it.

Rising purposefully from his chair, he delved into his jacket pocket for his wallet, & made swift progress to the bar. "A bottle of lager & one for yourself Teen..." he warmly addressed Tina, who through his friendship with Mick he'd come to consider a sisterly figure, as he passed a note of payment across.

"Cheers Cal," she smiled. "I'll take a rum & coke..."  
He simply nodded in the direction of the freshly-opened bottle of lager in return. "Make sure Simon gets that will ya, & tell him I'm sorry..."

"Simon?" Tina looked quizzical before the penny dropped. "You ain't doin' a moonlight flit are ya Halfway?" she began to tease.

"Somethin' like that..." he shrugged. "Just tell 'im..." Callum paused momentarily to think on his words. "Tell 'im I hope he finds his last first date soon..."

Callum didn't wait for a response, slipping out of the bar & into the welcoming seclusion of the dark evening before anything or anyone could try to change his mind.


	123. Chapter 123

## Actual scene of 17/01/20

Callum took an intentionally convoluted route back from the Albert to his flat, keen to avoid any questioning from Rainie as to whether he went on the date she'd set up, not to mention how it had gone, for as long as possible. 

Knowing her, she probably already had an empty glass ready at her side to sneak a listen through the walls for any hint of bedroom action. Even if the date had gone well, she'd have been disappointed on that front anyway, as that just wasn't Callum's style. 

Albeit with one possible exception.

He was feeling more than a hint of guilt, Callum had to admit. He'd never considered himself the type to stand a date up, but Simon had been so gentlemanly about the hopelessness of their situation: it would ultimately have been more awkward to sit the evening out than take up the offer of escape.

Simon would be a catch for someone, of that Callum had no doubt: just not him, because...

_Ben_

The sight of the man himself emerging from McClunky's with Lexi in tow was enough to halt Callum firmly in his tracks. 

It had been the vibrant rush of Lexi's blonde hair that Callum had spotted first: unusually for Ben, there was something so subdued in his aura that he was almost faint against the darkness of the evening.

From what Callum could gather of the exchange taking place between father & daughter from across the street, Lexi was similarly consumed by Ben's downbeat nature.

"You always look sad at the moment Dad..." the little girl suggested questioningly, while Ben squatted down to her level to fasten up her coat.  
"I'm fine; don't worry about me..." Ben's ever resilient tone kicked in as a form of defence.

Callum looked on from the shadows, almost fearful of intruding on what seemed such a pure familial moment. He knew the signs too well though, of when Ben was putting on a brave face, & wished he could step forward; at least try to put things right.

"I got this for being good; you can have it..." Lexi attached some sort of sticker or badge – Callum couldn’t quite make its form out - to the lapel of Ben's coat, earning a beam of appreciation from her father, before he tugged her into his arms with a "come 'ere" & a pecked kiss to her cheek.

Callum felt his heart sing with a momentary warmth, before an intruding voice dragged him from his thoughts.

"Now you're free of him, stay as far away as you can..." Sharon, clad all in black, emerged from the darkness with her words of advice.

Callum looked her way to give a brief acknowledgement of her presence, but found his gaze instantly drawn back to Ben & Lexi. 

"Phil came round yesterday & threatened me..." Sharon continued, drawing Callum's attention back in her direction: he offered no comment, but listened in. "They're pure poison that family...All of them".

With her words of warning delivered, Sharon stepped away, merging back into the darkness once more, & leaving Callum to look back towards his ex, just in time to see him skip away into the night, hand in hand with his daughter.

Callum gazed on forlornly, taking in a long breath, desperately trying to reconcile everything he had just heard & seen against what he already knew.


	124. Chapter 124

## Unseen scene of 17/01/20

It was the sweeping insinuation of character assassination by familial association that riled Callum the most, he realised as he reluctantly trudged his way home. He would hate to think that others judged him by the standards of his own father, so couldn’t help but think similar for Ben now. 

Quite what Sharon thought had given her the right to cast her vitriolic aspersions on Ben in Callum’s direction was beyond him. He was capable of forming his own views, without the need of interjection by others. 

He cautiously ascended the stairs into the flat, breathing an audible sigh of relief that nobody else seemed to be home. Wary of unintentionally inviting conversation about the state of his love life, he took himself off promptly to his bedroom, shutting the door & hoping that would be enough of a deterrent if, when, Stuart & Rainie finally made their way home. 

Sinking down onto the bed, he scrubbed a hand at his face in an attempt to dislodge some of the weariness he was feeling, then leant his head back against a pillow & let his eyes shut to recall the scene he had observed between Lexi & Ben. 

It was the real Ben he’d seen then after all: all sense of bravado & show discarded, in favour of pure, protecting love. There was a grim determination in Ben that Callum had spotted early on: the belligerent conviction that he wouldn’t ever allow his daughter to suffer the indignity of the sort of damaging upbringing he himself had. That he would never stoop so low to involve her in any of the family firm’s dodgier side.

Callum’s eyes drifted back open as he gave further thought to that notion; his brow furrowing as his eyes narrowed in concentration. Wasn’t that the same approach Ben had continually asserted himself to be taking when it came to their relationship? Protecting Callum; shielding him from the harsher side of his reality?

Callum scorned himself that he’d never made that connection before: that maybe all Ben’s true self really craved was a family unit he could immerse himself in, away from the nonsense, away from the strife. In typical Ben fashion though, he’d tried to engineer it clumsily at best, ineptly at worst. 

Callum decided abruptly he’d thought this through enough, clambering up from the bed & striding out into the main living area of the flat to retrieve his phone from where he’d left it on the side with his keys. Not even caring all of a sudden about the inherent risk of running into his brother or Rainie. 

Ben had asked him to prove himself, & that was what exactly what Callum intended to do, having hit upon the realisation that maybe Ben needed just as much security & shelter from their relationship as he had so often tried to impose on Callum in reverse. 

Opening up Ben’s most recent message of apology, Callum typed out, then sent, his response, unexpectedly inclusive of a bit of Stuart Highway wisdom.

_I forgive you._

_Love forgives._

_Everything_

He’d intentionally altered the emphasis of the statement Stuart had impressed on him before Christmas, not keen on it sounding like the marketing slogan his brother had presented it as. The sentiment remained though, all the same.


	125. Chapter 125

## Unseen scene of 21/01/20

Ben agitated distractedly at the mobile phone in his hand, while he picked at a piece of toast he had no particular interest in eating. It was some twelve hours on since he'd received Callum's heartfelt text, & he remained powerless to fully absorb its sentiment, yet alone respond to it. 

His had been a restless night, as standard these days: thoughts consumed by Lexi, who had been sleeping peacefully just along the landing, & Callum, who he'd wished had been in the bed alongside him. 

There had been a moment, as he'd read & re-read Callum's text on receiving it, that Ben had seriously considered blowing the whole thing apart: replying to Callum with words of want & need; luring the man to his bed with assurances & seductions. 

Because Callum was that good - that generous - he'd have come running. 

And because Ben was that bad - that twisted - he'd have let him.

"Found this on the doorstep..." A packaged item tossed loosely in Ben's direction brought him round from his thoughts, with the accompanying intrusion of his father's unmistakable growl.

"What is it?" Ben eyed the parcel with a level of suspicion rightful of any Mitchell.  
Phil appeared exasperated at the apparent stupidity of the question. "Well I'm no clairvoyant, but common sense tells me that if you open it, you might just find out".

The Mitchell patriarch turned on his heels with a huff of disappointment. "I'm off out on a spot of business. Any threat of you puttin' some actual clothes on by the time I'm back?"

Ben glanced down at the black dressing gown he was adorned by, wondering exactly what was so offensive at his choice of morning attire: his most prized assets were safely covered after all. He looked up towards his father, about to voice that thought.

"Lisa's due round for a chat about Lou..." Phil interjected first before his son could offer anything crude. "We're already on shaky ground with her; don't need to upset her sensibilities any more now, do we?"

Apparently pleased with his put down, Phil chuckled in amusement to himself & exited through the kitchen door. Ben made a mental note to purchase a ridiculously effeminate dressing gown for future means of really giving his father an eyeful, then returned his attention to the package in front of him.

It was wrapped unremarkably in brown paper - the sort readily obtainable from the post office. There was no post mark or courier advice on it though, leaving him to surmise it had been hand delivered.

Ben licked the excess of butter from his thumb & forefinger, then picked up the parcel, with a little trepidation. As he did so, he ran through a mental list of people he may have pissed off recently, & pondered what any one of them might have just delivered to him in retaliation.

The contents of the parcel felt pliable & distinctly non-threatening however; certainly not the proverbial horse's head, so he ripped into it with characteristic impatience, his chin almost hitting the table as his mouth fell open in shock.

Holding the delivered item in one hand, he picked up the handwritten note that fell from it with the other, trying desperately to ignore the slight tremble emanating from his digits as he read what was written in Callum's familiar scrawl.

_When I said everything, I meant EVERYTHING._

_This proof enough for you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's amazing what 24 hours & a re-watch of canon does for this fiction sometimes.
> 
> Yesterday, this chapter was likely to be headed in a VERY different direction, with Ben hitting self-destruct & heading for a hook up to cancel out the noise of Callum in his mind.
> 
> Today though, having watched the scenes of Ben around this time, my eagle attention spotted something & made a little tenuous connection from their past. 
> 
> A little suspension of disbelief may be needed here: Clearly my soul is craving a bit of fluff rather than angst in these trying times - we all need to divert a little from reality on occasion after all...
> 
> Anyone care to guess what Callum has sent Ben?


	126. Chapter 126

## Unseen scene of 21/01/20

Ben held the white shirt in one hand as he let its accompanying note flutter & freefall onto the table. 

He'd been reckless in keeping tabs on the whereabouts of this potentially incriminating garment since it had been the catalyst for the destruction of his relationship with Callum. Maybe a small part of him had always hoped the elder man would keep it safe for him; shield him from the truths it told.

Ben couldn't pretend it to be a calculated risk he'd taken in that part of Callum's nature though: no, in typical Ben Mitchell style, he'd turned his back & left the carnage in his wake for someone else to deal with.

And my, how Callum had truly dealt with it Ben marvelled with sparkling eyes, as he leant back in his chair & settled the returned shirt carefully in his lap to consider its form.

Callum hadn't simply guarded the shirt then returned it to its rightful owner at the appropriate time after all. 

No, that wasn't the true measure of the man.

Instead he'd washed it - removing all trace of the previous blood stains - pressed it & folded it to near pristine quality; the self-discipline of his Army training shining through in its renewed appearance. 

Ben swallowed down the lump forming in his throat, knowing that if he was a stronger man, a better man, this gesture from Callum would be all that was needed to help repair the rift between them. The reality though, was that he wasn't. 

Too proud for his own good; too self-centred to let another person in.

Not that it would stop him from taking the morsel of solace on offer from Callum, opting to slip the shirt onto his shoulders for the day ahead. Maybe even pairing it with the sort of seeringly tight trousers that so often drove the other man to distraction. 

It wasn't as if Callum would ever rumble that ruse, after all, if Ben kept it to himself in the privacy of his own home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With congratulations to those who successfully sleuthed it would be the shirt making a reappearance.
> 
> Evidently, Callum has an additional skill of removing difficult stains from clothing that none of us knew about - so he can always fall back on a career in the laundrette if the police doesn't work out!


	127. Chapter 127

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are times, dear readers, that I know where a chapter's going to start, & where I want it end; sometimes though I question my own sanity as to how I get there in between the two... 🤪

## Actual scene of 21/01/20 merging into unseen scene

"What are we gonna do about Louise Dad?" Hands in trouser pockets, Ben made his solemn enquiry of Phil as he entered the Mitchells' kitchen following Ian's eventual departure.

"We're gonna bring her home & talk some sense into her..." Phil began his no-nonsense response. "Mistake was ever lettin' Lisa get her claws into her: if she wants to go to Portugal she can go to Portugal on her own..."

Ben ducked his attention to the door behind him at the sound of it opening.  
"Look Dad: no fillings..." Lola proclaimed proudly as she ushered Lexi into the house. 

"Oi oi..." Ben gathered his daughter up in his arms & swung her round in celebration.  
"I left her skippin' rope; I promised I'd take her to the park on the way back to school..." Lola swiftly felt the need to explain their presence, always suspecting she might be interrupting something between father & son.

"Will you come..." Lexi, innocently oblivious to any business that may have been going down, looked up at her father pleadingly.  
"I gotta work darlin'," Ben instantly planted an apologetic kiss to her head, but soon found his sentiment disrupted by Phil. "Nah go on: you go...Ain't kids for long, are they?"

Father & son shared a knowing smile of appreciation between them, that spoke of greater volumes than either would care to admit. Ben instead following on after his own little family unit out through the front door, retrieving his coat en route.

\- - -

"Someone's gettin' way too big for this..." Ben lamented at a grumble as he lugged his daughter on his shoulders through the market.  
"But the view up here Daddy; I feel like a giant.. " Lexi beamed, kicking her legs in excitement, causing Ben to adjust his grip, fearful of dropping his daughter.  
"Keep still up there will ya wriggler..."

"Hey Lex," Lola interjected jovially from beside them. "Just imagine how much higher up you'd be if your Daddy wasn't a short arse..."  
Ben opened then closed his mouth to give an affronted look. "Unbelievable..."

Lola chuckled in amusement at her own jibe. "Now don't forget what I said on our way over to Daddy's: we need to drop in the Parlour on our way to the park to give Jay his lunch..."  
"Cos we don't want Uncle Jay gettin' hangry..." Ben concurred. "You point the way little miss, which way to the Parlour?"

"That way Daddy!" Lexi extended an arm out to point in a direction to their left. "Giddy up Daddy..." the little girl again thrashed her legs within his grasp 

"Ain't no way I'm trottin' through the market madam," Ben warned. "Daddy's got a reputation to think of, besides you're too much of a lump for me to get up any speed nowadays..."

Lexi didn't seem phased by her father's refusal, turning her attention to her mother instead. "Will Callum be working with Uncle Jay today Mummy? He's a proper giant, if I sat on his shoulders I reckon I'd see for miles..."

Lola was astute enough to notice the mention of Callum's name caused a twitch in Ben's features, making a mental note that was a conversation for later, away from their daughter's ears. 

For now though she would go easy on him & divert Lexi's attention away. "Don't think so sweetie, I think Callum's focusing on his police trainin' for a bit..."

Ben's gaze visibly narrowed to concentrate solely on the path in front of them: he hadn't factored Callum's potential presence into this little family outing, & seemed only able to relax once more when he noted that Callum was indeed missing in action from the Parlour.

"Whoa bruv," Ben began to complain once he'd safely deposited his daughter on Jay's office desk. "You got that furnace fired up again? It's like an oven in 'ere..." He promptly stripped the coat from his back & let it drop down beside Lexi.

"How many times do I 'av to tell ya? We don't cremate the bodies 'ere..." Jay sighed in exasperation, already exploring the contents of the bag of food his girlfriend had brought.

"Oh just ignore 'im," Lola suggested with a peck to her boyfriend's cheek. "Ben's got the grumps cos he's just been made to do physical exercise..."  
Ben raised a disagreeing eyebrow, then let out a sniff. "Only one type of physical exercise I'm interested in..."

Lola gave a shake of her head that implied _Not in front of the children..._  
Ben simply smiled sweetly in return, knowing he'd taken the latest point in their continuous game of oneupmanship.

"Jay, shall I show you my skippin'..." Lexi leapt down from the desk with skipping rope in hand.  
"Er," Jay all but choked on his mouthful of sandwich. "Probably best not in 'ere darlin'..." He for one didn't fancy the phone call he'd have to make to the Cokers detailing the damage she'd caused. "At home tonight after work, yeah?"

"Oh now come on Jay.. " Ben intervened on behalf of his daughter. "There's room enough to swing a load of cats in 'ere, so there's room enough for my little girl to do a bit of skippin'..."

This was classic Ben & the entire room knew it: always taking the side of childhood over adulthood, unless it suited him to do otherwise. Jay knew precisely how to play him at his own game though. "Tell ya what, you manage two minutes' skippin' in 'ere first, without collapsin' into exhaustion, or breakin' anythin', then I'll think about Lex doin' it..."

"Better clear the floor space then..." Ben accepted the challenge, as if he were ever likely not to, already unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt & rolling the sleeves up to his elbows.

"Yay," Lexi squealed, as she clapped excitedly, her mother simultaneously dragging the two chairs away from their position in front of the desk.

"My rope please, little'un..." Ben held out a hand towards his daughter, who handed the skipping rope over eagerly. "Prepare to be amazed.. " Ben gave Lexi a wink & settled himself central to the room, facing Jay, who remained seated behind the desk.

"Yeah," Jay's brow furrowed in sudden consternation. "Probably best all non participants stand this side of the desk for their own health & safety..."  
In apparent agreement, Lola shuffled herself & Lexi to stand beside Jay.

"Ya want the chair babe?" he offered chivalrously.  
"Nah, you're alright ." Lola returned an affectionate smile, simply gathering her daughter in her arms to stand directly in front of her.

"Count me in baby..." Ben prompted, making one last check over his shoulder that there would be enough clearance for the rope to swing.

"Ten..." Lexi began at a shout.  
"Yeah, maybe go from five darlin'?" Jay frowned. "We ain't got all day..."  
"Five..." Lexi duly recalibrated. "Four, three, two, one. Go Daddy, go..."

Ben commenced his challenge with the requisite determination that he would not be defeated, perhaps guilty of forgetting that he was blessed neither with the agility of a seven-year-old or of a prize boxer. Still, his daughter's enthusiasm for his attempt would keep him up to his work 

"In hindsight... " Ben ventured quietly as he settled into some sort of rhythm. "Might of done better with my shoes off..." He never really had been much of a trainers man, which was doing him no favours now in his heavy-soled boots.

"Linin' up his excuses already..." Jay suggested with a huff, then taking a satisfying bite from his sandwich.  
"Oh, don't mind me " Ben grimaced.  
"Spectator sport, innit?" Jay smirked. 'Gonna crack open the popcorn next".

"Eejit..." Ben huffed, giving a shake of his head.  
'Come on Daddy..." Lexi beamed brightly, as she ignored the petty squabbling in favour of her own gain.

Ben flashed her a smile of reassurance "Has ya Daddy ever let ya down yet?"  
The raise of Lola's eyebrows in response to the question didn't go unnoticed by Ben, who opted to swerve it. "You have got a clock on this, ain't ya Lo?"  
Lola squirmed a little uncomfortably. "Er, yeah, course..."

Ben responded with a scowl of dissatisfaction, but decided to save his breath in favour of a productive comment. "Well I've definitely done a minute plus already..."

The room fell silent as each individual within it considered their own personal response to Ben's blind optimism: Jay with a withering frown; Lola with a face contorted by confusion; Lexi with jubilation written all across her.

The man himself was by now working up a visible sweat, sniffing back the droplets on his nose, & his breathing becoming more pronounced from the sheer physical effort. He tried to ignore the fact that all three of the faces looking back at him seemed less convinced by the second he'd complete his physical feat. 

So he shut his eyes, choosing instead to focus on a countdown in his mind's eye, having plucked what he considered to be the seconds remaining from the ether.

With his eyes shut though, he hadn't noticed the subtle change in Lola's expression, as she became the first to spot a presence lingering in the doorway.

She said nothing, simply watching Callum's gaze gradually alter from unease, through confusion, to finally settle on something softer, warmer. 

Was it adoration or longing, Lola couldn't quite decide, as the tall man leant himself casually against the doorframe & looked on, apparently oblivious that his watching brief had been noticed.

"Callum!" Lexi's exuberant greeting all-too-soon informed all of his presence, particularly as she bundled towards him for a hug.

Callum shifted his weight swiftly, both to brace against the onslaught & attempt to disguise that his arrival had been anything other than instantaneous. He certainly hadn't been watching Ben's aerobics through smitten eyes: absolutely not.

"Fuck..." Ben summoned the curse under his breath, never feeling more exposed in his life. Here he was in Callum's territory, being himself, albeit in the most carefree of manners, in the shirt Callum had returned to him no less. The shirt Callum had removed all trace of Ben's previous indiscretions from.

He could feel the man's eyes piercing into the back of him, confirming that he knew. _He knew._

Ben did all he could to cover up his sudden insecurity, completing a final jump of the rope with a flourish, then discarding the item on the floor. "Two minutes done, I think you'll find..." he managed to proclaim having coughed to clear his lungs & throat.

Callum gave an affectionate ruffle of Lexi's hair, then cleared his throat too as he stepped into the room. "Don't mind me..." he smiled a warm greeting to Lola & Jay, then spoke further only once he was certain Ben could see his face. "I'm just passin' through mate..."

For the second time that day, Ben found himself struck dumb by Callum's actions, although this time he made a firmer attempt of catching his chin before it gaped to the floor in shock.

_Had Callum really just uttered those infamous words back to him?_ He watched on in taken aback silence, as Callum continued his easy saunter into the room, having offered Ben the most knowing of smiles, then casually enquiring of Jay if the flat's post had been delivered to the Parlour by accident.

As soon as the man had arrived, in so far as Ben knew anyway, he was gone again. An almost ghost-like figure creeping up on him, tearing him open with a look & a few short words, then retreating again. All with the stealth & aim of the most deadly of assassins.

Ben was gone...done...spellbound....

"Catchin' flies there mate..." Jay brought Ben's attention back with a sniff. "Cat got ya tongue or somethin'?"


	128. Chapter 128

## Unseen scene of 21/01/20

"Somethin'..." Ben swallowed down a large lump in his throat as he gave an eventual answer to Jay's enquiry. "Definitely somethin'..." He tried to ignore the involuntary shudder in his spine, as he made a grab for his coat. 

"Sorry princess," he moved in the direction of his daughter & sank a kiss into her hair. "Mummy will have to take you back to school without me, I need to..." He paused, suddenly uncertain as to what he needed to do, let alone how to voice it to a third party.

"Need to see a man about a dog?" Jay interjected wryly.  
"Somethin' along those lines..." Ben shrugged his coat onto his shoulders, grateful for his brother's suggestion, against the awkward silence that may have been about to develop. "Laters yeah..."

Ben didn't wait for any response, already realising Lola & Jay were casting knowing unspoken aspersions between them. He near bolted from the office they'd all been convened in, hearing his daughter's bemused questioning of her mother as he fled. "Mummy, is Daddy alright?"

He stalled in the corridor that interlinked the Parlour & Callum's flat as he heard Lola's reply. "Think Daddy's just remembered where he's meant to be, that's all..."

Ben took a few long, exaggerated intakes of breath, still in a state of recovery from his skipping exertions, & desperate to divert some much-needed oxygen to his brain.

From his position with arm braced to wall, he couldn't help but notice the door to Callum's flat had been left ajar: whether as an open invitation for Ben to accept, or a genuine mistake for Ben to exploit, wasn't exactly clear. He gulped down the suspicion that either way though, he would always be destined to climb the stairs beyond the open door.

Uttering some words of encouragement to himself under his breath, he was feeling the need to psyche himself up: Ben was used to being the one in control, the one who called the shots. He was fully aware that power now lay with Callum: a thought that both terrified & unusually pacified the younger man in equal measure.

Malingering in a corridor wasn’t exactly going to get him anywhere though, so he took the few necessary steps towards & through the flat’s door, closing it fully yet quietly behind him He paused there, scratching at a rough patch of stubble on the back of his neck, which he craned to listen for any hint of Callum’s presence. 

He found none, so began to ascend the stairs, taking them two at a time, with strides that were bolder than he was actually feeling. He slowed his tempo only as he reached the final step, not wanting to appear to be blustering his way in. He took another pause, another deep breath, then turned the corner into the living space, shoving his hands into his coat pockets to strike his standard wary pose.

He found Callum there: right in front of him, seated at the dining table, his spine leant back against the chair, one arm extended to its full length to leave the palm of that hand pressed flat to the table. 

The two men remained in their silent stasis as they locked eyes on each other: Callum, with a sense of controlled calm, open to suggestion; Ben, overtly defensive, & liable to self-combust at any moment.

Callum emitted a quiet, throat-clearing cough, & was the first to finally speak. “Made ya coffee...” He opened his palm to indicate the percolated caffeine & two mugs on the table in front of him.

Ben simultaneously noticed that the other chair had already been pulled out from under the table, an invitation extended for him to join. He narrowed his eyes to peruse the scene more forensically, trying to envisage it less as a trap & more as the olive branch it was undoubtedly intended to be. “What made ya so certain I’d come to drink ya coffee?” he questioned aloofly, removing his right hand from his pocket & lifting its thumb to the corner of his mouth to nip at a nagging hangnail that was protruding from it. 

Callum raised an eyebrow in response, his eyes not diverting from Ben’s for a second. “Ever considered that maybe I know you better than you know yourself?”  
Ben stayed quiet for a heartbeat, still nibbling at the skin on his thumb, before letting his hand slip back down to his side, & pursing his lips together in apparent deep concentration. 

“Ya got any biscuits to go with that?” Ben finally relented a little, giving a casual sniff that made it seem as if the entire future basis of their relationship might depend on this one key factor alone. In reality, it was the younger man’s final attempt at a defiant last stand: in Chess terms, he had just delivered the move know as Check.

Callum simply responded with an easy smile, then reached into the pocket of the jacket that was hanging on the chair behind him. “This do ya?” He removed an unopened packet of Ben’s biscuit of choice, setting it down on the table beside the coffee, before again quirking an eyebrow in Ben’s direction: _Checkmate._


	129. Chapter 129

## Unseen scene of 21/01/20

Ben dipped his chin a little, then lifted his gaze, giving the impression he was looking up towards, rather than directly at, Callum: an almost sheepish quality suddenly present. That was as close to an admission of defeat as he would give, & they both knew it. 

Callum responded with typical generosity, simply reiterating the invitation for Ben to take a seat at the table, through a gesture with his hand & a kindly smile.

Ben looked about himself uncertainly for a moment, but decided to accept the offer, stepping out of his coat & tossing it away to the side. As he made his approach to the table, he fixated on rolling the sleeves of his shirt back down from his elbows.

"Thanks...for the shirt..." he suggested hesitantly as he took to his seat. "Thought it was permanently spoiled to be honest..." Fiddling to fasten a button at the end of one of the cuffs gave him ample opportunity to avoid making eye contact over what was an awkward matter.

'Not a problem,..." Callum assured, then gave a short cough to give himself greater courage in the conviction of his voice. "Always thought ya looked proper sexy in it, so couldn't see it go to waste..."

Ben stalled at the assertion, raising his gaze to meet Callum's with a disbelieving expression. "How can you still say that after everything I've put you through?" His voice barely more than a whisper.

Callum gave a disapproving shake of his head. "It ain't a switch I can just flick off Ben..." He noticed the other man's fingers were still clasped to the second cuff's button. "I still think yer fit, I still think yer worth my time, & I still care..." 

Lowering his hands to Ben's, Callum took over the task of fastening the final cuff. "Really, really care..." he repeated, letting a finger graze along one of Ben's for a moment.

Ben silently watched the interaction of their fingers, a sigh escaping his lips when Callum diverted away to pour the coffee instead.

"Help yerself..." Callum scooted the packet of biscuits across the table in Ben's direction, & watched on fondly through the corner of his vision as the younger man intercepted the package & made light work of tearing into it, a gleeful smile on his face as he retrieved the first of the edible treats. 

"Ya want one?" Ben remembered in the nick of time that sharing was de rigueur in these situations.  
"Damn right I do..." Callum chuckled. "Ain't gonna sit 'ere watchin' you scoff the lot..." As he spoke, he passed a freshly-poured mug of coffee to Ben.

"Look at us actin' all grown up, eh?" the younger man mused in distracted tones as he gave a nod of thanks.  
"Says the man currently gnawing the chocolate off painstakingly from his biscuit..." Callum exhaled in amusement as he drew his own mug to his lips. "Lexi eats those things in a more grown up way than you!"

Ben raised an eyebrow scornfully. "I'll have ya know this is the only proper way to eat these biscuits: chocolate first, then the rest".

Callum set his weight back in his chair, his features displaying an obvious sense of amusement. "How is it anyway that a man so notoriously impatient as you can show such infinite patience when it comes to eatin' biscuits?"

"Thought we'd established before just how patient I can be when it comes to things that really matter?" Ben engaged Callum in a searching expression, part disgruntled that the elder man might have forgotten that phase of their shared history; part imploring a greater meaning.

Callum simply nodded by return, taking the biscuit he'd been given in hand. "You're wrong anyway..."

Ben's kneejerk response to any suggestion that he might be incorrect was begrudging as ever, as he sat up a little taller in his seat, ready to counter punch.

"There's only one proper way to eat these biscuits," Callum grinned, to emphasise the stupidity of their conversation. "And that's like this..." in one deft move, he dunked the biscuit in his coffee then slipped it whole onto his tongue.

"Oh my god!" Ben exclaimed with derision. "All that time we was in a relationship, & now I find out you've been a secret biscuit dunker all along!" The disgust was clear, but masked beneath an obvious sense of mirth. "Things between us might of been very, very different if you'd disclosed that little nugget of information sooner..."

"Lucky for both of us I didn't then, eh?" Callum chuckled readily, then settled his features to something more serious. "Question is, now you've seen my darker side, you gonna sit this out, or ya gonna bail on me?"

Ben squirmed, suddenly uncomfortable in his seat. He took a slow, loud gulp of his coffee, as his brow knitted itself into a concentrated frown. _ Damn Callum Highway for having the guile to spin Ben's previous ploys right back in his direction....And damn Callum Highway for having such irresistible charm..._

_Maybe Ben was the one who was actually damned..._


	130. Chapter 130

## Unseen scene of 21/01/20

"I'm worried about ya..." Callum took Ben's continued presence in his flat as confirmation he wasn't about to flee, & his silence as an open invitation to have the next word. 

"Don't be..." Ben returned his mug of coffee to the table, but kept his hands wrapped tight around it, to the extent his knuckles whitened, Callum observed.

"I wanna know where your head's at Ben..." the elder man continued to implore. "One minute you're pinning me to a wall, throwin' round accusations I've grassed; the next you're sendin' me heartfelt apologies. Then you're..." He paused to rethink what he was about to say.

"Then I'm what?" Ben challenged with an unforgiving glare, unwilling to let Callum off the hook he seemed determined to hang himself from.

Callum sighed, knowing that truths that were hard to deliver were equally hard to hear. "You're acting up around Lexi, pretendin' everything's fine, when we both know it ain't..." 

"She's my little girl Callum," Ben retorted sharply. "Hardly gonna let her see the reality of my world now am I?"

Callum markedly softened his demeanour before speaking again. "So who exactly are ya gonna let in?" He allowed the question to sink in momentarily before speaking again. "I know it can't be Lexi, but it can be me..."

Ben appeared unconvinced; eyes narrowing in consternation.  
"I could ask much tougher questions of you than that Ben..." Callum reminded him firmly, yet ever so calmly. Adamant to reiterate he wasn't judging, just supporting. 

Ben swallowed down a lump in his throat, knowing that assertion to be true: he still felt Callum was asking the world of him, nonetheless.

"Cal, I can't..." he tried hoarsely.  
Callum raised a hand to cut him off. "I ain't askin' any questions of ya here Ben. If you wanna talk, I'll listen; if you wanna just sit & devour the rest of them biscuits, that's ok too..."

Ben appeared blindsided; his features scrunched tight into a ball of confusion. He'd never encountered this level of unconditional devotion before. People - family even - always wanted something from him or had their own agenda. He found the companionable quiet apparently on offer from Callum both inviting & unsettling.

For his part, Callum was just relieved to see Ben eating something. He'd looked drawn & weary of late, leading the elder man to question if he was looking after himself. One thing was certain: for all the commitment & attention Ben had offered to Phil in recent times, father wasn't returning that to son now in the form of nutritional currency.

Ben selected another biscuit from the packet & began to gnaw the chocolate away from it once more. Callum quickly coming to realise the man used this as a deflection tactic: if people were busy concentrating on how he ate the biscuit, they at least weren't focusing on his broader inadequacies.

Ben took several more nibbles from the foodstuff, then placed it down on the table in front of him, linking his hands & starting to wring them together awkwardly. His gaze fixed on watching their movement, rather than daring to look at Callum.

"I panicked, ok? When the Old Bill came knockin' & Dad started strikin' off a list of people who might of grassed. I couldn't risk him findin' out I told you, but I had to find out for myself if you'd done it. The only way I could protect you was if I knew the truth..."

Callum too found himself engrossed in the motion of Ben's hands: hands that only days previously had been pressed aggressively at his chest. "You really think that little of me, that I'd grass?" he queried regretfully.

"No". Ben responded decisively, suddenly looking him firmly in the eye. "I think that much of you I reckon you might just try it if you thought it was an actual way to save me..."

Callum gave a smile that suggested he couldn't argue with that assumption, then moved one of his hands to gently trace his thumb over Ben's. "All this chat of yours about protectin' people. Tell me one thing Ben: who's takin' care of you in return?"

The sharp intake of breath taken by Ben implied that he was about to issue an immediate dismissal, but he quickly bit it down. "I..."

"Come back to me Ben..." Callum interrupted him mid-sentence for a second time. "I still see the real Ben Mitchell in there, in spite of everythin' that's happened. And I reckon you still know he's in there too..."

Ben sniffed back a hint of emotion that threatened to break ranks, while Callum prized his hands apart to interlink them with his own. "We can work our way through this you know..."

Ben glanced down at their joined hands then up to Callum's face: imploring, encouraging, adoring. All Ben could give in response was the tiniest nod of his head, delivered with earnest eyes: a timid acceptance of Callum's terms, albeit with a real sense of fear.

"We should..." Ben began to stutter out through a voice laced with hesitance. "We should both sleep on this for the night though," his face contorted with sudden unease. "Separately I mean...make sure this is right for both of us..."

Whereas in reality all Ben wanted was to snatch Callum's hand off & jump his bones in a flight of passion, he knew he had to give this most generous of men one more opportunity to get away. One last chance to run & not look back.

"Course..." Callum acquiesced softly. "You need some breathing space, I get that..." Rising slowly from his chair, he pulled Ben to his feet too. The younger man made to correct the assertion, but found himself distracted by the gentle press of Callum's lips to his, to which he gratefully responded.

"Right well," Callum lightly chuckled as he pulled away. "You take the remainder of those biscuits with ya, & we'll catch up tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah..." Ben agreed, lost in a near dream-like state, as he finally dared to hope the tide might be turning. Phil was relinquishing control a little; plans to move Louise on from the Square were advancing; Lexi was safe & secure.

And with the promise that Callum was coming back to him, no questions asked, Ben could finally step out in the street feeling a reviving breath of life in his lungs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reasonably anticipate a number of you are wondering precisely how any of this sits with what happened in actual canon right now! All I can really say is, if that's you, sit tight - all will be explained...I hope...


	131. Chapter 131

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it's Saturday, & we remain stuck in lockdown with limited canon Ballum fayre, how about a double chapter posting...Second chapter of the day to follow later...

## Actual scene of 23/01/20

Ben felt the starvation of oxygen from his lungs again in the instant Martin Fowler bundled him backwards through the Mitchells' kitchen door, fisting hands to his top aggressively, & continuing to shove until Ben was pressed against the worktop counter on the far side of the room. "Where's the phone?"

"What?" Ben had been caught up in a daydream involving himself & Callum, having only just exited the backyard that morning, intent on making a beeline to his man. A night apart, supposedly sleeping on it, had changed nothing as far as he was concerned. He wanted, needed, the normality Callum had to offer, & was finally sensing a change for the positive on the wind.

Or he had been, up until about twenty seconds ago. Being accosted by an irrate Martin had in no way formed part of his plans, so shock was evident in Ben's voice as he tried to hold the other man back.

"The burner..." Martin shouted direct into his face, & in that moment Ben began to see his dreams shatter before his very own eyes.

"You kept it..." Ben shoved Martiin off angrily, all at once incensed. "You..." He went to speak more words of disdain, but checked himself instead, rushing across the room to slam the door against prying ears.

"Where? Where did you keep it?" Ben's practical nature instantly took over.  
"In my shed..." Martin admitted reluctantly. "It was broken into last night..."  
"Well it ain't exactly Hatton Gardens Martin is it?" Sarcasm as ever Ben's fallback when times got difficult.

"Which made me think you took it..." Martin tried desperately to appease. "It must of just been kids .."

Ben turned away to gather his thoughts, then back to the other man to impress his point home. "Look again..."  
"No, it's gone..."  
"That phone is evidence of a murder: a murder that you committed, so I suggest you go & finish playin' hide & seek, & find that phone. Before the Old Bill do...."

Ben held his nerve just long enough to out stare the other man, & watch him depart from the scene, before he felt the facade begin to crumble. 

It was the first indication of the day that the promise of a better future with Callum really wasn't destined to be.

And as the day would continue, such indicators would keep coming, each only harsher than the last.


	132. Chapter 132

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter posted today - as promised...

## Unseen scene of 23/01/20

_Love forgives everything..._ Ben could only smart to himself, as he trudged away from the Arches, that sadly Callum's most ardent of statements apparently couldn't extend to covering a father forgiving his son, when it transpired the hitman he'd hired had left a key piece of evidence sculling around in his allotment shed. 

Love did not forgive everything where Phil Mitchell was concerned: in fact, it forgave very little.

Ben was reduced to feeling about two-foot small after his father's dressing down. 

He could feel, taste even, a rising sense of dread in his stomach: a claustrophobic inevitability as to where the day was headed, & he hated it.

He backed himself to the nearest wall & sunk down against it, until slumped on the ground with knees braced to his chest. Far enough from the beaten track for anyone to even notice him, let alone care.

He slipped his mobile phone from his pocket, & opened his exchange of messages with Callum from earlier that morning.

_Finished my stash of biscuits in the dead of night...B_

_Plenty more where they came from, if you're still interested...C_

_Enough for the two of us? Bx_

_Enough for a lifetime...Cx_

_🤞 Bx_

Ben had considered himself fickle when sending back the fingers crossed emoji at the time, but it had been the best he could offer from his limited emotional armour in expressing what his hopes for their future truly were.

That sentiment felt its own lifetime away now though, as he faced up to his grim reality. The walls were closing, & the net would surely fall to capture him sooner rather than later.

The burner phone, now in the possession of god knew who - although Ben strongly suspected Sharon - was a ticking time bomb.

A future that only yesterday had started to promise so much, lay in tatters once more. The calm sanctuary provided by the vibrantly-coloured walls of Callum's flat most likely replaced by the uniform steel grey of a police cell. The pledged endless supply of his favourite biscuits substituted with bland, soulless prison meals.

Using the back of his hand to wipe away an excess of moisture from his nose, Ben scrambled unceremoniously back to his feet, taking one last look at Callum's words on his phone.

The smallest crumb of comfort Ben could take in this cruellest of worlds was that at least Callum might now understand a semblance of how Ben truly felt about him. And how, in another time, another place, there might have been a hope of things working out for them.


	133. Chapter 133

## Development of scenes of 23/01/20

_Picking up from scene in the Caff between Martin & Ben, ending:_  
"You told ya Dad about me? What's he gonna do?"  
"I suggest you get that phone Martin, before you find out..."

Ben had barrelled into Callum, allowed the briefest of forlorn interactions between their eyes, then bolted from the Caff before Callum even had time to process any of what was happening.

A morning that had been spent floating on cloud nine at the prospect of the reestablishment of his relationship with Ben had suddenly plummeted back to earth with a bang. All just from one agonised expression on the other man's face.

Callum stayed rooted to his spot in the Caff for a few moments, suddenly uncertain as to what he’d even come in for. The pain visible in Ben’s eyes had been almost tangible; the exhaustion behind them equally evident. 

His feet began to walk before his brain had time to catch up with them. Surging back out of the Caff, Callum quickly scanned left & right in search of where Ben had gone. There was no sign, & he knew this man had an elusive streak that meant he wouldn’t allow himself to be found if he didn’t want to be, but Callum felt himself inexplicably drawn towards the Mitchell household.

He didn’t stand on ceremony when he reached it, marching straight through the back door into the kitchen. At worst, he might find himself face-to-face with Phil, but Callum couldn’t have cared less. He in no way held the Mitchell patriarch in awe or regard; just a growing sense of disdain for the power of a puppetry he maintained over his son.

“Ben…” Callum addressed the man with what he hoped was a sense of calm authority when he came across him in the sitting room; back turned to obscure his face from view, shoulders tense. There was a parallel here to how he’d found him in the Car Lot the previous week; this time though, the younger man didn’t turn to face him.

“You don’t wanna be here…” Ben warned, almost prophetically, tears streaming from his eyes in regret. Truth be told, he'd almost been hoping the police would come knocking before Callum, just so he didn't have to administer this most crushing of blows to their relationship. Again.

Yesterday, there had been hope: today, just despair, with the growing realisation for Ben that his time was fast running out. 

“Is this about what you told me? Look, whatever it is, we can talk…” Callum, to his endless credit, was presenting a similar willpower to the day before: here to listen, not to question. It was an approach that had paid dividends previously, & looked likely to again, as Ben began to open up of his own volition.

“I had to do it…” Ben's voice fell to a whisper before resuming. “I had to protect my Dad; it’s what you do, aint it? Protect your family. And now it’s all gone wrong, & I can’t fix it”. It was a striking admission from a man who thought he had the comeback to any question in life.

“Just look at me…” Callum implored, wanting the other man to both see & believe the level of compassion he wanted so desperately to show him. Just as Ben again spoke of protecting a loved one, so Callum longed to do the same in return.

Ben though was by now in freefall, seemingly barely cognisant of anything the other man had to say.

“He would of got banged up for life. He was ready to just do it. He was ready to do it in front of the whole Square..." A strength of conviction began to return to Ben's voice with almost every passing word. There was a confessional tone to his explanation, finally choosing to answer the questions the other man hadn't even asked of him. 

Ben felt he owed Callum that much, at least: to hear of these events from his own mouth directly rather than through idle gossip on the Square. It was a month too late, but he was finally consenting to some degree of emotional honesty in their relationship. He saw little point in denying it now, after all, given he'd likely be in a prison cell before the day was out.

"This...this person that you had killed..." Callum held his nerve & gently prompted, a breath held in his chest as he waited uncertainly for Ben's response. 

He watched on in stalled animation as Ben slowly turned to face him, & deliver the name that, deep down, Callum had always suspected was coming.

"Keanu..."


	134. Chapter 134

## Actual scene of 23/01/20

Callum fought his resolve to keep his gaze with Ben as the confirmation of what he had already feared fell from the love of his life's lips. "Keanu..."

Callum gave an imperceptible nod, still holding his eyes on Ben for as long as he dared. When he felt his composure slipping, he had to glance away, for both their sakes.

Equilibrium then regained with a deep breath, Callum returned his focus to Ben, whose eyes had dropped to the floor in shame. Gone were any previous attempts at brazening it out; just the weakened shell of the man seemed to remain.

"I ain't walkin' away Ben," Callum entreated softly. "Not this time. But I do need you to give me some answers..." His man had already answered the biggest question of all, largely unprompted, after all.  
Ben's head lifted a little in an attempt at acknowledging the request, but it was obviously a struggle.

"Will ya do that for me?" Callum reiterated gently, taking a cautious step forward & lowering his gaze in an attempt to draw Ben's upwards.  
"Ok," the younger man managed to choke out with a sniff.  
"Come on then..." Callum gestured loosely with a hand.  
'Eh?" Ben's head finally lifted fully in uncertainty.  
"Dunno 'bout you, but reckon I could do with a glass of water," Callum reasoned, not waiting for an answer before he set off in the direction of the kitchen.

He knew the lay of the land well enough to retrieve two glasses from a cupboard & fill them with water from the tap before Ben finally arrived to join him. Shoulders slumped; posture resigned.  
"Drink..."Callum asserted calmly, pushing a glass into Ben's slightly shaking hand, before moving away to sit at the far side of the table.

Ben downed the glassful in one, as if quenching a thirst that had been growing for days. He refilled the glass from the tap again, then slumped his backside to the counter. All under Callum's watchful gaze of concern.

"So you didn't want Keanu dead..." Callum tried to phrase his opening gambit as less of a question, more a suggestion, glancing across to Ben for a response.  
"I didn't want my hands dirty..." With gaze rooted to the floor, Ben muttered out an admission, then took a steadying gulp of water.

From his seated position, Callum was, ironically, thinking on his feet. "So you...outsourced it..." He tried again: still a suggested statement of fact rather than a question.

"I thought I could live with it that way..." Ben still abstained from lifting his gaze, aware Callum's eyes were trained on him. "Live with myself..."  
"But you can't..." Callum interjected perceptively.

Ben tilted his head up to the ceiling; desperate to quell his rising emotions. His mouth fell open involuntarily as he emitted a sharp gasp of air. "I can't sleep Callum..." Feeling suddenly weakened, he placed his glass on the side & hunched forward into himself. "Every time I close my eyes, all I can...All I can see..."

There was an obvious waiver developing in his voice that saddened Callum to his core. Ben struggled to get himself together, then tried again.

"I can't look at Lexi without thinkin' that I nearly left her without a Dad; I can't look at you without thinkin' that...Without seein' 'im, knowin' what I've done...Who I am...And now everythin' is fallin' apart & I can't do anythin' about it...I'm gonna lose everythin' & maybe, maybe that's what I deserve..." Ben grasped the glass of water to his lips once more & took a shaky sip from it.

Callum had listened intently, as Ben struggled to get his words out between increasingly laboured breaths. An internal monologue Callum suspected had been playing on repeat through Ben’s head for weeks had finally tumbled freefall from the man’s lips. It was clear Ben was a tortured soul, & Callum couldn't stay silent & allow the self-loathing to continue unchallenged, no matter how heinous the crime.

"You're not a killer, Ben. You didn't pull the trigger, & it's not in you. You're not like your Dad; look, we can find a way through this..." Having rejected Ben's own character assassination & replaced it with an assessment of his own, Callum looked across to Ben, pleading for him to take his words on board.

"It's too late..." Ben whispered, gaze withdrawn from Callum once more. "I can't fix this..." He made a grab for his coat as his breathing became jagged & shallow. "I can't fix..."

"Ben..." The man was already making a bolt for the door as Callum tried to intervene & break Ben's heart wrenching downward spiral. 

"Look Ben, just wait..." He begged again, although unclear as to what he could even say next that might begin to alleviate Ben's suffering. That worry would have to wait though, as Callum too hurried out of the door, desperate not to lose sight of Ben again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can safely say these past two scenes have been a nightmare to navigate a way through - such a disjointed narrative yet again. 
> 
> I hope I've given enough background through the past few chapters to pitch why Callum seems so measured & calm when Ben fully confesses: with perhaps even an undertone throughout this chapter of just how far Callum is prepared to go to protect Ben? Maybe there's a reason why every statement he makes is an assertion rather than a question...


	135. Chapter 135

## Unseen scene of 23/01/20

It wasn't difficult for Callum to keep pace with Ben, as it happened. The man was weaving a jumbled path through Walford's streets, with his head down & feet scuffing along the pavement. 

There was the occasional tell-tale sign that sobs were escaping his body, from the way his shoulders seemed to rise sharply as he struggled to regulate his breaths.

Callum remained close on his tail, knowing he risked the wrath of the man for following on keenly like a lovestruck puppy. Whether fortunately for Ben or otherwise though, Callum shared a further characteristic with canines: that of fierce, unrelenting loyalty.

Despite his laboured pace, it didn't take long for Ben to reach the children's playground, where he slouched his weight down on one of the swings, grasped his fists to the chains on either side, & braced his feet to the ground, fixating on them intently.

Callum wasn't sure if they'd arrived at this location by accident or by design as he silently twisted the angle of the other swing to face Ben, then sat down on it, folding the upper half of his body to lean his arms on his thighs.

"We can't necessarily fix what's happened Ben, but we can fix what happens next..." Callum suggested calmly, spotting that the other man gave him a wary side glance, but offered nothing further in return.

Callum took the silence as approval to continue. "When Lexi looks at ya she still sees her Dad..." He began to invert something of what Ben had said to him earlier. "When I look at you, I still see the man I want to love,.." 

Ben's expression remained unchanged, so Callum added on an additional after thought. "If only he'd let me..."

Something in that sentiment seemed to move Ben a little, whose head lifted so he was instead staring straight ahead. "We're broken Callum," he choked out through a sniff. "And that's all on me..."

"We ain't broke," Callum refuted through a sharp exhale of air. "We're just a little bit torn".

Ben turned to deliver a shake of his head to Callum, speaking silent disbelief through saddened eyes at the man's unfaltering resilience & commitment.

"I'm here for all of this Ben. All of it..." Callum reaffirmed gently. "And that has to start with putting you back together..."

Ben huffed out a breath of air in exasperation, then ran the back of his hand along his face to wipe away the residue of tears. "I ain't worth yer effort..."

"You are," Callum returned determinedly. "You. So. Are". He watched on as a response to his assertion began to morph across Ben's face: first bewilderment, then relief, then...Then something else, but Callum couldn't quite fathom it 

He didn't have long to ponder it though, as Ben surged his weight up from the swing & in his direction to grasp Callum's head in his hands & seer a kiss to his lips.

Callum was powerless but to respond, rising steadily to his feet, without every threatening to break their connection. His own hands then making their way to the nape of Ben's neck.

For Ben, the kiss gave another reviving breath of much-needed air to his lungs; while for Callum it was confirmation there was still something there. Something worth fighting for, & that deep down even Ben believed it.

As their kiss relented, Callum carefully tipped his forehead to Ben's. "Promise me you won't lose sight of yourself in this. You can't fix anything for other people if you don't look after yourself first".

Ben's eyes narrowed into a concentrated frown as he tried to decipher the man's meaning, then widened again as he appeared to accept the request that was being made of him. "I'll try..." he agreed in a hoarse whisper.  
"That's all I can ask," Calllum smiled easily, one of his thumbs creeping along Ben's jaw line. For the first time in days, he saw the beginnings of Ben starting to relent a little in his own bones, on the tipping point of giving into the support of another.

But Callum then also saw the moment snatched away as quickly as it emerged, as Ben's eyes looked away sharply, his attention caught by something in the near distance.

"Shit," the younger man exhaled breathlessly. "Shit, shit, shit..." He took off as he continued to curse, leaving a bemused Callum to spin around on the spot. 

It was then Callum saw what Ben too had seen: Sharon about to enter the Arches, with Ben now hot on her heels, ready to trip headlong into the lion’s den.

Callum, just as before, sped after Ben, calling after him as he ran. "Ben...Ben! For God's sake please just remember what I just said to you. Protect yourself first. Put yourself first..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now, hopefully that solves the question absolutely no-one was asking as to how Ben & Callum followed Sharon into the Arches pre the police showing up!


	136. Chapter 136

## Continuation of scene from 23/01/20

_"Phil & Ben Mitchell, I’m arresting you both on suspicion of the murder of Keanu Taylor. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something that you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence."_

"Well, there's your proof, as if it was actually ever needed, that the Mitchell family are poison through & through..." Sharon ventured smugly, wrapping her coat across her stomach for warmth. 

Callum, his back turned to her, remained silent, watching the retreating blue lights of the cavalcade of police vehicles, until he couldn't stomach her glee any more. "Ya know, the past week I've been back, there's only one person been spouting poison & vitriol, & that's you Sharon".

She tipped her head back to expel a sharp laugh of disbelief. "If only you actually knew what that boyfriend of yours really is, & what he really is capable of..."

Callum stood himself tall in the face of such loathing. "I know exactly who Ben Mitchell is, & exactly who he isn't. It's just a shame none of his so-called family have looked hard enough to see it before..."

Plunging his hands into his jacket pockets, he looked around them, moving off in the direction of the door when he located what he was seeking out.

"Now I'm not Phil Mitchell's biggest fan, but I'm fairly certain he wouldn't want the keys to this place left in your hands, so if you're done here I'll lock up after you & make sure the keys get back to the family..." Callum held his arm out in the direction of the door as he made his suggestion.

Sharon responded with a look that suggested further derision, yet gave a simple nod of her head in acceptance. 

As she edged her way past Csllum, he spoke again. "Ya know Sharon, there really was only one person in this garage making any physical threats against ya this evenin'. Don't cast Ben in a role he didn't play..."

Sharon seemed confused momentarily, whether that her perception of Ben was being challenged, or because Callum - the presumed joker among them - had spoken such words of insight. She offered no further comment though, simply skulking off into the growing darkness of the evening.

Callum took in a long breath to settle himself, still disbelieving of everything that had just happened. His mind wandered back to Ben, being carted away in a police car, & the obvious state of vulnerability he was in. 

Arrogant, cocky Ben could get himself in more trouble with the police in an instant; what of cowering, self-loathing Ben? Callum barely dared ponder that.

He ran the back of his hand across his face to ward off the bout of weariness that was sweeping across him, then pulled the door to with a loud bang & locked it behind him. 

He gave the lock an extra rattle as assurance it was indeed fully secured, then set on his way, the keys to part of the Mitchell empire weighing heavy in his pocket, & thoughts of one particular Mitchell raging in his head.


	137. Chapter 137

## Unseen scene of 23/01/20

Callum turned his stride away again, completing another circuit of his now repetitive path: one moment making a final approach to the Car Lot portakabin across the forecourt, then retreating again. Indecision ruling his head in what gaps it could find that weren't thoroughly preoccupied with Ben. 

"Callum, man for the love of God!" Jay suddenly appeared in the portakabin doorway. "Ya gonna carry on doin' the Hokey Cokey out 'ere all evenin', or ya actually gonna step foot inside?" 

Jay's face was mixed with an expression that was part bemusement, part amusement. He hadn't seen one of these walks of shame in a while, & when he did they usually came from Ben: tail between his legs, about to recount a tale of woe & exaggeration that would account for why he'ď been reckless with the business's reputation, or money, or just occasionally, someone's heart.

Callum traversed on his feet at the sudden incursion of Jay's voice: that was the decision made for him, he supposed. "Sorry..." he began to stutter out apologetically. "Sorry Jay, I know it's late in the day & you were probably thinkin' 'bout packin' up..."

"Don't matter..." Jay shrugged his shoulders, demonstrating an air of calm: little, if anything, that arrived on his doorstep surprised this man any more. "Step inside & take a pew..." He led the way back into the portakabin, gesturing for Callum to follow on, which he did with a sense of slight relief flooding through him.

"How'd ya know I was outside anyway?" Callum coughed into one hand as he closed the door behind them to keep the evening's chill at bay.

Jay smiled, somewhat enigmatically. "Made myself a little investment at Christmas, didn't I?" He sat down behind his desk as he spoke. "Ain't mentioned it to Ben yet though, so Mum's the word, eh?"

_Ben_

Just the mention of the man's name formed a lump in Callum's throat. He didn't want to create outright panic though, so swallowed it down & attempted acting casually, moving steadily about the office, as if nonchalantly looking around. "Course, not a word to Ben..." he agreed, without even knowing what he was acquiescing to.

Jay settled his weight back comfortably in his chair & swung his legs up on the desk: regular working hours were done for the day, so a less professional approach could now be afforded. "Invested in a bit of CCTV, ain't I?" he declared boldly with a sniff. "Should make any of those little scrotes who vandalised our stock think twice..."

A moment of alarm coursed through Callum's veins. "Right...yeah..." His attention caught glancing uncertainly between Jay's desk & the four corner points of the office walls, searching out any sign of a camera. "And Ben don't know?"

"Thought I'd keep it to meself for now," Jay chuckled mischievously. "Might just do a study of how much time Ben spends out on the forecourt, compared with in the office, compared with nowhere to be seen!"

Callum coughed again, a little nervously this time. "Well, good luck with that, & even better luck with tellin' Ben..." He tried to dislodge the increasing sense of dread rising in his stomach; all of a sudden the troubles he'd walked through the door with had doubled, but he determined to divert attention back to his original cause. "If he's even still about that is..."

"What's that s'posed to mean?" Jay grabbed at the bait. "Why might Ben not be around? The two of ya ain't had a tear up again 'av ya? And for Christ's sake sit down will ya mate, all yer pacin' around's makin' me feel dizzy..."

Callum did as requested, folding his weight down on the benched seating opposite, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, & scrubbing his hands across his face wearily.

"It's Ben & Phil..." he disclosed through a forlorn sigh.  
"God, they ain't been tearin' strips off each other again, 'av they?" Jay suggested warily.

Callum responded with a shake of his head. "They've just been arrested Jay..."  
The other man's eyes visibly widened as he absorbed the news, legs slipping back off the desk so he could sit bolt upright. "Where? When?"

Callum noted that interestingly the first question aimed at him hadn't been 'why'. Perhaps though when you'd been aligned to the Mitchells for as long as Jay had, you learned not to ask.

"Literally just ten minutes ago, at the Arches..." Callun clarified in answer to what he'd been asked. "I thought you should know, & I thought, er..." He fumbled about in the pocket of his jacket. "And I thought I should probably make sure these got safely back to the family...." 

Producing the keys to the Arches from his person, Callum placed them on the desk between them.  
"Appreciare that mate," Jay mustered a grateful smile as he stared at the set of keys then across to the other man. "And I reckon that goes for Ben & Phil too..."

Callum bit down on his lip as he tried to look Jay in the eyes. It wasn't Ben's gratitude he sought, it was his love. As for Phil's thanks, he couldn't particularly have cared less. "Right well..." he choked down the emotion in his voice. "Now them keys are in safe-keepin', I guess I can rest easy..."

Callum made to stand, so Jay did the same, somewhat unnerved by the contrast between Callum's words & the obvious upset in his voice.  
"Cal..." Jay paused the man in his tracks. "How worried do I need to be?"

Callum's tongue traced an involuntary trail along his bottom lip as he gave the seriousness of the question some thought. The grounds of the arrest were confidences that weren't his to tell, while he suspected that just as ever Ben would want his nearest & dearest to remain shielded.

He dipped his head forlornly & gave his quiet admission. "Worried..." He then lifted his gaze to transmit messages he wouldn't, couldn't speak.

Jay nodded his understanding in return, beginning to slip his jacket from his back & returning to his seat at his desk. "Guess I'd better make some calls then, in that case..."

"Cheers Jay..." Callum managed the smallest of smiles, then started to take his leave, although pausing as his hand reached the door handle. "Jay mate..." He turned to look back at his confidante.  
"Yeah mate?" Jay's hand stalled in mid air just above the phone on which he was about to dial a number.

"That CCTV ya mentioned..." It was no use: Callum had to know one way or the other whether his & Ben's animalistic encounter of days previously might be about to become public knowledge. Or worse still, already had. "Internal & external is it?"

Jay gave him a quizzical look, but answered the question with an easy will anyway. "Nah mate, external only. Don't reckon Ben would take too kindly to me knowin' some of the things he gets up to in 'ere..."

Callum emitted a gentle chuckle of sheer relief. "Indeed..." he agreed wryly. "Night then Jay..."  
"Night mate," Jay smiled warmly. "Probably best none if this conversation goes any further, yeah? What 'appens in the Portakabin stays in the Portakabin & that..."

Callum broke out into a full-blown smirk at that, which he barely disguised from Jay by busying himself with opening the door. "Amen to that..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Jay, so the opportunity to have a bit of cat & mouse as to what he might or might not know of the Car Lot reunion was just too big an invitation not to have a play about with... 😁


	138. Chapter 138

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The forecast is that this weekend there is a moderate to high probability of multiple chapter postings, as we have a plot line approaching that I am very much looking forward to writing...

## Actual scene of 24/01/20

Ben had glanced anxiously over his shoulder one too many times for Phil's liking during their walk away from the police station. "Stop actin' like you're waitin' for the Old Bill to jump on ya any second will ya..."

"Released under investigation..." Ben reminded his father, who had actually entirely misinterpreted his son's agitation. His reasons for looking about the market were little to do with fearing the police, & everything to do with trying to avoid Callum...

_Callum was the ticking conscience in Ben's mind that had kept him awake during his night in the cells. The thought of now telling him of the hurriedly-formed plan of an imminent escape to Portugal simply too much to bear. _

__

_It was the cowardly way out, Ben knew, but the best he could do was mark his final few hours in the Square by steering clear of Callum._

__

_If he could hide behind the pretence of still being in police custody for three more hours, ignore the text message from Callum burning through his phone's screen, asking Ben to call him the instant he's released, he'd be doing the man a bigger favour than he would ever know._

__

_Ben would text him from the airport: a heartfelt apology, a plea for Callum to live a happy life with someone truly deserving of his love. Finally, he'd be set free of Ben & his chains..._

"Look at me..." Phil asserted himself over Ben's daydreams. "Now that phone weren't enough, right: they needed more".

Ben looked at his father, unconvinced. "What's to say they ain't gonna find more?"  
"Well look, after you hired a barrow boy to do the job, they probably will..." Phil wasn't about to start mincing his words or sugar coating the situation. "In a couple of hours it won't matter though, will it?"

Musing over his father's words, & trying to take the blatant criticism on the chin, Ben was too preoccupied to notice that his plans were already destined for failure, as Callum looked on, relieved that his man had been released, but already concerned by the apparent radio silence.


	139. Chapter 139

## Actual scene of 24/01/20

Ben stood haphazardly folding his clothes into a holdall as he heard the Mitchell kitchen door slam.

"Didn't get my message then..." Callum wandered his way into the room, a hint of resignation in his tone. The best part of two hours had already passed since Callum had spotted Ben on the Square, & a second text message he’d sent had been ignored.

"I got it: didn't read it. No point..." Ben portrayed nonchalance as he continued his task, keeping his back turned from the man.

_LIE,_ Ben's own constant internal dialogue scolded him. He had actually read the message; his brain had formulated a response to it; his fingers had grazed over each of the words a multitude of times.

"So you're runnin' away..." Callum's tone of voice spoke volumes of his disappointment in the man before him, the back of whose head Callum's eyes were boring into. "You think the police'll charge ya..." Callum had put two & two together without needing to hear it from Ben that he'd been released on bail.

"Not yet..."  
"So then why are ya doin' this Ben? It'll just make you look guilty".

Ben was instantly riled into a reaction, turning to look Callum defiantly in the face. "I am guilty, remember?"

"You can't run, Ben..." Callum so badly wanted the younger man to see reason.

"So what you gonna do Callum, eh? You gonna slap some handcuffs on me, baby copper?" There it came, as always, Ben turning to spiteful words in an attempt to deflect from his inadequacies.

Callum absorbed the harsh sentiment quietly, having already known it was likely to come. He ran his palm down his face, as if wiping the hurt away. "You can't run from what's inside your head Ben. I, I know how much..."

"What do you know Callum?" Ben rejected firmly, with a suddenly raised voice. "You know nothing..."

_LIE,_, the narrative in Ben's voice warned him again; they'd established just days earlier after all that maybe Callum knew Ben better than he knew himself.

"Why are you talkin' to me like this?" Callum was equally as bemused as Ben's psyche: this wasn't the man who'd been starting to drop his guard prior to his arrest.

"Because I just...I just want you to go...I want you to just, get out of my sight, out of my head..." The mask began to slip, as Ben flailed, struggling at his very personal battle with the infinite voices he could hear playing through his head, each working to their own rhythm & agenda:

_Callum  
Phil  
Lexi  
Kathy  
Lola  
Jay  
Callum, Callum, Callum_

Ben's emotions started to break as thoughts of each of those people continued to cascade through his head. The thought simultaneously dawning on Callum that he had seen this reaction from this man before, & that he hadn't meant the words he spoke then, just as he surely didn't now.

_I don't want your love..._

That recollection alone all but broke Callum too, who hit upon a heartfelt plea that shattered his voice. "Look, just don't go..."

Ben spun on his heels. "You think I wanna go?" Tear-stained eyes looked into those that were similarly afflicted. "You think that I wanna leave behind everythin'? My daughter? " His last two words near barked out in sheer desperation.

"Then stay, then stay for her..." Callum begged to reason.  
"What, so she can watch me hauled off by the police?" Ben near laughed in his face, to those at least that didn't know him.

Callum saw & understood that, so tried to regulate his tone. "It's better that she sees her dad behind bars than never gets to see her dad again…Stay for her Ben, &..." He took a breath & prepared to ask something of the man he never thought himself capable of. "And stay for me..."

Noting his words hadn't been outtight rejected, Callum fell silent, save only the laboured nature of his breathing, matched similarly by Ben's. Both men were struggling to stay afloat, & they each knew it.

Typical to form though, it was Ben who broke the spell. "Better off without me, both of ya..." It was the first time he had dared to bracket them in the same breath: put simply another demonstration of his devotion to his daughter & his lover alike.

Callum, although distraught, ventured to his man, cupping his neck briefly with his hands. "Stay..." he quietly implored with pleading eyes. "Stay, Ben...". 

They exchanged agonising seconds in which their gaze interlinked, although always with the suspicion Ben's was trying to divert elsewhere. Finally, achingly, he spoke, at the faintest of whispers. "I can't..."

Neither believed that to be true in the slightest, but Callum this time permitted himself the dignity of being the one to walk away.


	140. Chapter 140

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Second chapter post of the day - aiming for one more chapter to follow later...

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

"So what's with the summons Bruv?" Jay arrived home, having received a text requesting an audience, to find Ben perched on his front doorstep. 

He looked up to acknowledge the question had been posed, but offered no response.  
Jay glanced away into the middle distance for inspiration, then sat down beside his brother.

"So Callum showin' up last night with the keys to the Arches & the news you'd been arrested was a bit of a shocker..." Jay began cagily, eyes looking straight ahead rather than to the other man.

"Don't..." Ben pressed his hands to his ears, as if trying to block out white noise "...even go there".  
"Ya mean Callum, or the arrest?" Jay sought to clarify.  
"Both," Ben sniffed, then looked across forlornly to give a little further insight. "But mostly Callum..."

Jay shook his head. "Yer like a bear with a sore head when it comes to our Halfway. Got yerself in deep there, ain't ya?"

Ben rolled his eyes skyward. "Everyone told 'im all along I'd end up hurtin' him: you included. How does it feel to be such a smart arse?"

"Grim," Jay lamented. "Cos I can see yer hurtin' yerself over it, just as much as yer hurtin' 'im..."  
Ben took a moment to process the suggestion, pursing his lips together tightly, before delivering a curt nod of his head in acceptance.

"So why ya do it then Bruv?" Jay scratched at an eye in bemusement. "He loves you, you love 'im. Why don't ya just drop all the game play for a change?"

"Love?" Ben repeated quietly, looking confused. "When 'av I ever said I love 'im?"  
Jay expelled a huff of exasperation. "Oh I don't know Bruv, maybe the way you get that lingering look in yer eye when he's mentioned, or the way yer all over him at every opportunity?"

"This is a redundant conversation anyway," Ben suddenly sniffed dismissively.  
"How so?" Jay screwed his eyes up to study his brother's features.

Ben brushed away a speck of dirt from his trouser leg. "Cos there'll be nobody to mention 'im, & no chance of me seein' him, where I'm goin'..."

Jay continued to look confused. "What, prison?"  
Ben gave back a thunderous scowl. "Cheers bruv: innocent 'til proven guilty eh?"

Jay held his palms out in surrender. "Look sorry, but what other conclusion can I jump to?" He sighed heavily, already fearing he knew what was to come. "So where are ya goin' then?"

"Portugal," Ben returned. "That ain't common knowledge though, so..."  
"Your doin' a moonlight flit?" Jay interjected.  
"Well, more of a midday flit really..." Ben tried to suggest drolly. 

"Oh jeez.. " Jay scrubbed a hand against his forehead as realisation hit. "You're about to tell Lola ain't ya? And you want me here as your wingman..."  
"Lexi too..." Ben clarified swallowing down a developing lump in his throat. 

"Look, I know you're disapprovin' of this," he continued, "& you 'av every right to be. I just need ya moral support while I tell Lo - & Lex. You can slate me all ya like once I've gone, but please help me keep it together long enough for the sake of our girls..."

Jay gave a calm nod of his head to confirm he would reluctantly go along with Ben's wishes. "Does Callum know yer goin'?"  
"All but begged me to stay..." Ben confirmed as he rose to his feet. "For Lexi, & for him... " His brow furrowed into a frown as he gave that notion another moment's thought.

"But that still weren't enough for ya?" Jay too scrambled to his feet.  
"Imagine that eh?" Ben near winced. "I stay for Callum, & two months down the line we're worse off than we are now. Because that's what I do, ain't it? Ruin anythin' that's good..."

"Ain't you even curious, though?" Jay fumbled for his door key in his pocket. "To know how things might play out if ya stayed?"  
Ben seemed pensive at that. "I can't stay just because it's what other people want me to do Jay..."

"Maybe not," Jay shrugged as he positioned the key in the lock. "But ya could stay if you admitted to yerself that's what ya really want to do..."

Ben shook his head disapprovingly, not waiting for an invitation to step across the threshold into the flat, assuming Jay to be holding the door open for him. "You make it sound so simple..."

"Well it is ain't it?" Jay huffed, pulling the door closed behind him. "If ya drill down to what's actually important..."

"Can't give that any headspace right now," Ben held a hand up to silence his brother. "Just go & lay a few foundations with Lo for me..."

Ben hovered in the hallway as he sent Jay on his errand. He recognised a little more truth in his brother's suggestion than he actually dared to admit. He hadn't though put himself or his feelings at the forefront of his mind at any point so far, & this wasn't exactly the time to start doing it now.

He took a deep breath as he prepared to break a second heart of the day, although a little less carelessly than the first, he hoped.


	141. Chapter 141

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third & final chapter of today's bumper posting spree. 
> 
> Writing round these scenes has made me think just how excruciatingly painful canon of the time would have been to watch, were it not that the actual reunion was leaked in advance.
> 
> I'm intentionally missing out several of the aired scenes - Ben telling Lexi he was leaving etc - as I can see little value in writing around them when they pretty much said everything that was needed at the time.
> 
> So let's check in on where Callum was...

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

"The usual is it Callum?" Tracey smiled at him from behind the bar of the Queen Vic as he made his reluctant approach, & dropped down onto a waiting barstool.  
"Er, no," he sighed, distractedly running a hand through his hair. "I was hopin' to catch Mick actually..."

He'd come in search of support & solace from someone he hoped might just understand. Ben had left him broken & empty just minutes before, & Callum didn't know anywhere else to turn. Stuart had been all but revelling in the news of Ben's comeuppance, so he wasn't a viable option after all.

"Sorry son, Mick's taken Linda up west for the day," Tracey explained with an apologetic smile. "I can let him know you dropped by though..."

"Nah," Callum winced, suddenly feeling very much alone. "It weren't anythin' important..."  
"A drink for the road then?" she suggested as a form of compensation.

"Go on then," Callum sighed. "Reckon I'll branch out & 'av a whisky for a change..." That it was Ben's preferred drink in times of stress or upset was of no consequence. "Plenty of ice in it though, yeah? Water down its bite a bit..."

"Do y'know Callum," she laughed easily. "In all my years behind this bar, not one local has ever made that request of me before! Watering down alcohol indeed; whatever next?"

Callum smiled uneasily, while Tracey briefly turned her back to measure out his drink. "There you go love," she then handed the glass across to him. "Not so much a whisky on ice, as ice on whisky..."

"Cheers Trace," Callum mustered another small smile, suddenly enjoying the normality of the moment. "How much do I owe ya?"

Just as he finished voicing the question, he felt the firm clap of a hand to his shoulder.  
"This one's on me, yeah?" Jay's friendly tone interjected. "And I'll take one for meself too Trace..."  
"Comin' right up," Tracey affirmed as Jay shuffled himself onto the barstool next to Callum. 

The two men shared a smile of greeting, Jay then chinking his glass against Callum's & confiding a quiet admission. "My brother's a dick..."  
Callum couldn't resist a hearty chuckle escaping all by itself as he swirled the liquid contents of his glass around. "Affirmative!"

Jay took a grounding swig of his drink, savouring the warmth of it as it moved down his throat. "Ya asked me a few days ago, what the hold is that Phil seems to have over folk.. "  
Callum cocked his head a little, looking inquisitive.

Jay glanced around, as if some underworld spy about to impart a coded message. "It's people's sense of fear he plays on. He challenges 'em, goads 'em into makin' the choice: either they go their own way, risk failure & 'ave 'im hold that over them for the rest of their days; or they stick wiv 'im & take the protection that affords".

"Ironic, ain't it really?" Callum volunteered in response. "Ben spent all those months tellin' me to be myself, to be my own man, & in reality he ain't capable of doin' that himself".

Jay sighed deeply. "He don't trust 'imself, that's all. This ain't about who he loves more, who he wants to be with more. It's just about Ben not lettin' 'imself believe".

"Don't help either of us much though, does it Jay?" Callum lamented, still utterly disinterested in the drink between his hands. 

"He'll realise the mistake he's made in time..." Jay tried to offer some, any, form of consolation.  
Callum didn't want to hear it though. "Look Jay, I know yer tryin'a help, but..."  
"Shut up, drink up & go back to work?" Jay grinned. "Yeah, don't worry mate, I get the message".

"I do appreciate the effort though, yeah?" Callum ventured as the other man stood up, tipping the glass towards him as a gesture. "And thanks for the drink..."

"Any time mate..." Jay clapped a parting hand to the man's back. "Don't be a stranger, yeah? Lex'll still be expectin' yer visitations..."  
"I'll look forward to 'em," Callem finally managed a smile that was truly heartfelt. "Just indulge me this weekend to mope about & feel sorry for meself yeah? That brother of yours is gonna take me a bit of gettin' over..."

"Course," Jay readily empathised. "Just bear in mind though, yeah. However hard you're findin' it to get over Ben, he'll be some place else goin' through exactly the same over you..."

"Here's hopin', eh?" Callum permitted himself a rueful smile, drawing his glass to his lips & downing its contents in one.


	142. Chapter 142

## Actual scene of 24/01/20

Ben clambered into the taxi, & for the first time in days, weeks, his world fell silent. All the decisions he needed to make had been made; all arrangements had been finalised; all of the goodbyes said. Well, nearly all of them.

He had every reason to feel like a man who had accomplished all he had set out to do; every reason to feel at the heart of his family, with his sister & niece sat alongside him, his father opposite him.

So why did he feel so unfulfilled & alone?

The quiet was unnerving; the voices that had been endlessly cluttering his head now silenced. He asked the question of himself of whether this was what inner peace felt like, but he sensed not. His feelings & emotions felt suppressed & subdued. In reality he was simply numb, & he already knew the pain would strike through again at some point.

He reached into his fleece pocket & took out his wallet: trying not to falter at the notion it was also _his_ \- Callum's - wallet. The photo inside of himself & Lexi brought an immediate stab of pain to his heart & a minor tremble to his hands 

"You'll see her again soon..." Louise attempted to placate, although Ben privately questioned how exactly that could be. In reality, the next time he saw his daughter he might not even recognise her, & she sure as hell wouldn't recognise him.

He swallowed down a lump in his throat & stared out of the window in an attempt to keep his emotions in check. But there he was, almost within an instant: Callum. Head slightly bowed while exiting the Vic, a shadow of himself.

And the worst thing of all? There was a moment, albeit fleeting, where he must have seen the taxi, must have seen Ben in it, but he just looked straight past him. A preview perhaps of how it would be in the future if they ever met again: Callum might not even recognise him, or even if he did, might just exercise the right to walk on by blankly. And who could blame him if he did?

A voice, quiet & distant, suddenly asked a question in Ben's mind, so timid & unsure of itself at first that he had to devote all his attention to actually hearing it:

_Are you certain this is what you want?_

He didn't recognise the voice on first hearing, had no concept of what was speaking to him. The voice was persistent though, becoming that bit stronger, that bit more determined, each time.

_Are you certain this is what you want?_

_Are you certain this is what you want?_

It was only as he made the silent admission that no, he wasn't certain this was what he wanted, that he recognised the inner voice speaking to him to be his own. 

With that realisation, the voice changed its words from question to adamant statement:

_This isn't what I want_

"Stop the cab..." Ben hectically rushed out between short, gasping breaths, feeling suddenly starved of oxygen. "Stop the car..."

For the first time in months, it was his own voice he was hearing & actually listening to. With that newfound clarity, no longer distorted by the opinions & prejudices of others, he knew what he had to do. What he wanted to do. What he needed to do.

“I can't go, I, I just, I can't..."


	143. Chapter 143

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel it would be remiss of me not to pause & acknowledge the quite frankly staggering 4-digits worth of kudos I have now received on this work. 😲🤪 
> 
> A very sincere thanks to each & every reader who takes the time to leave kudos &/or comments - I truly enjoy & appreciate every single one of these interactions.
> 
> I hope all who read will continue to enjoy, & participate when they feel drawn to. 
> 
> Who would have thought something that started as my own little pet project to sustain some challenging family times would turn into something so epic, & such a means of distraction in the most peculiar times we find ourselves in.
> 
> As those of us in the UK enter into week 7 of lockdown, & I suspect actual canon this week will leave us starved of any Ballum at all, I hope I can keep you all entertained with the upcoming reunion here...
> 
> Keep reading  
(Hopefully) keep enjoying  
Above all, stay safe.
> 
> Kudos to each & every one of you too!  
Whirlygig95

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Callum forlornly trudged his way out of the Vic, & spotted the taxi immediately. He felt barely capable of the notion of looking himself in the eye at that moment, let alone Ben, so let his gaze drop down to the floor. 

The irrepressible romantic within his nature wouldn't quite let him be though, goading him to steal one last look back once the taxi had passed. 

He paused on the street corner & took in the sight of Ben for one final time, through tear-reddened eyes & with a heart that still couldn't help skipping a beat.

If this was one of those trashy romcoms Ben on occasion had made him sit through - & then flatly denied any such softness if anyone got wind of it - the man would look back through the rear window of the taxi now; their eyes would lock through the glass; Callum would run along after the cab; Ben would yell at the driver to stop, & rush his way through the doors, back into Callum's waiting arms, which would sweep him into a passionate kiss.

But this wasn't a romcom, & life certainly wasn't a fairytale destined for happy endings, just as Ben had himself asserted in the run up to Christmas. 

So Callum took a deep breath & set off on his way, not daring to look back again, although already wishing he could.

He started along a protracted route towards home, seeking to avoid Stuart's inevitable judgements of _I told you so_ & _You can do so much better for yourself,_ for as long as possible.

With hands thrust deep in his jacket pockets, his mind wandered to Lexi, & how she would be taking the news of her father's departure. To say she doted on him was a gross understatement after all, just as he did on her by return. 

Knowing Ben, he'd likely been economical with the truth, telling her he was going away for a matter of days, rather than the actual weeks, months, years. 

Callum shook his head at the notion: not just that this could be Ben gone for good, but that the man had likely told his daughter an untruth, kidding himself into believing he was protecting her, but ultimately just hurting her more in the long run. It all seemed too painfully familiar for Callum.

He wiped the back of his hand along his mouth, mopping up moisture he hadn't even known to be falling, trying not to wish that his final encounter with Ben hadn't been something more...

_Something more what?_ he asked himself critically. Something feistier: a spot of break up sex to truly remember? Maybe Ben had already actually delivered on that at the Car Lot, without Callum even knowing.

Something more antagonistic, maybe? Ben had spent all these hours trying his upmost to push Callum away, but had never quite succeeded. Perhaps something more brutal - an unabashed declaration of cheating - might have been enough for Callum to draw a line beneath them for good? 

Why couldn't Ben have issued something that could put a stop to Callum's feelings for him? The cruellest way might just have turned out to be the easiest in the longer term. But truthfully, Callum knew that couldn't ever be, because that wasn't really Ben.

No, Callum finally settled in his mind as he continued his laboured progress through the market. He just wished it could have been more meaningful: the exchange of an embrace between them; a request made to Ben that he'd look after himself, & a promise to Callum in return that he would.

Because when all was said & done, all Callum hoped was that Ben found some peace for himself somewhere. A haven in which he could just let himself _be_.

Callum gulped down a surge of emotion at the thought that was what he'd hoped he himself could become for Ben. Now, with eyes fixing forward grimly, he began to face up to the prospect of a life without the man he loved in it.

His shoulders hunched a little further at the thought alone, & his stride seemed to shorten impossibly, but he stood bolt upright again in the instant he could have sworn he heard Ben call his name through the bustle of the market…

“CALLUM…”


	144. Chapter 144

## Actual scene of 24/01/20

Callum paused, assuming himself to have imagined the shout: knocking back a glass of whisky probably wasn’t the best of ideas at any time, let alone in the middle of the day. He hadn’t quite banked on one glass of it being enough to cause hallucinations, even so. 

There was something in the faces of several of the market stallholders that suggested maybe he hadn’t just dreamt the call of his name though, so he slipped his hands out of his pockets & turned to look casually back around. 

Seeing Ben there, rushing headlong towards him, Callum found his feet taking him back in the direction of the man before his brain even had the chance to process what was happening, let alone consent to it. He strode with purpose, trying to project an air of still & calm, even if he felt anything but tranquil inside. “I thought you’d gone…” Confusion & dejection both rife in Callum’s tone as he addressed Ben once they met halfway down the street.

Ben stood breathless before him, the collar of his fleece jutting out from his neck. “I’m stayin’…” he managed to stutter out as his chest heaved from apparent physical exertion. He paused then, looking Callum firmly in the eyes, perhaps hoping an interjection from the other man would rescue him, but soon realising more was needed from himself first. 

“I never really believed that we’d work out…I never let myself believe it…When I said the we wouldn’t work out, it’s because…” Every sentence he delivered was punctuated by a struggle for breath, that Callum quietly began to register was as much due to emotion as the effort of running: the older man let Ben continue his monologue all the same, the only response he gave being a gradual softening of his features.

“…Because yer a good person…” Ben’s tone faltered suddenly to regret, “…& I’m not…”  
Callum could sense some potential there, a moment of self-dismissal that he couldn’t allow to go unchecked. “So then why are you ‘ere?” He tried not to get his hopes up in asking the question, even though he knew they were already rocketing skywards internally. 

For the first time in as long as either of them could remember, Ben didn’t falter from sustaining their eye contact. “Because you make me…wanna be…better…” As he finished speaking, the tiniest cracks of a hopeful smile appeared at the edges of his mouth.

Callum, by now convinced he might even have zoned out from hearing some of the words Ben had been speaking, could do nothing but lose himself in that final sentiment. He took a forward step & set his hands to either side of Ben’s head, drawing him into a kiss: long fingers splaying effortlessly to the back of Ben’s neck, thumbs caressing his cheeks. Ben had said everything he needed to as far as Callum was concerned, & this was his effortless means of silencing the man from offering up anything more. 

For Ben, it felt simply like a kiss of life: the restoration of air to his lungs & joy to his heart. He was a passenger in the entire exchange, just clinging on for dear life, in the hope of absorbing every bit of goodness the other man had to offer. As they threatened to ease away, he just dived back in again, left hand toying with the idea of pressing itself to Callum’s face, then just slipping away down his arm, onto which he gripped firmly for fear of his legs starting to crumple. 

It was Callum who had to back off to take a restorative breath of air in the end, offering up an affirming smile in place of the kiss, which he had already been sensing a smile of Ben’s own creeping into. 

“Daddy!” Lexi’s joyful greeting became the sole thing in the world capable of breaking the two men fully apart at that moment, as a rush of blonde hurried into their peripheral vision. Callum took a contented step back, feeling the need to compose himself for a moment, while Ben took his daughter in his arms & spun her around. All Callum could do was marvel to himself in that moment: maybe dreams, & fairy tales, really did come true, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The best bit of all about this reunion? The EE scriptwriters left me with a lovely blank space to do with whatever I want next... 
> 
> Somehow I need to get from the Ben they left us with here - relieved, yet clearly wrecked - to the Ben we saw the next time they were on screen - playful, affectionate, carefree.
> 
> Plus I feel there are a few narrative strands that need a little tidy up/explanation/putting to bed.
> 
> Hold on tight folks, I'm going off piste again for a few chapters...


	145. Chapter 145

## Actual scene of 24/01/20 merging into unseen scene

“I’m stayin’ right here baby…I’m stayin’ where I belong…”

As Ben delivered his determined assurance to his daughter, with Lola also readily within earshot & momentarily held in his gaze, Ben rose back to his feet, his head seeking shelter against Callum’s shoulder. The taller man guided their mouths back together for another brief kiss, hand splayed reassuringly at the younger man’s neck. With a physical connection re-established to the two people that meant most to him in the world – Lexi & Callum – Ben looked off into the middle distance & took a deep, steadying breath at the realisation of how perilously close he had come to losing them both.

“Daddy…” Lexi’s request for attention soon pierced through his thoughts.  
“Yes princess?” He cast a brief appeasing smile in Callum’s direction, then sank back down to squat at his daughter’s level. The elder man’s hand still never threatening to release its presence at his neck.  
“Now you’re staying, will you take me to the swings after school today?”

“Tell ya what baby,” Ben spoke softly, tucking a strand of his girl’s messy blonde hair behind her ear. “I think mummy already has some plans for you & her tonight, but what if I,” – he paused to glance up at his man – “what if we, come over at the weekend, then you, me & Callum can do something special then?” The smile & soft nod of approval he received from Callum assured him he’d done the right thing, as did the gentle play of fingers to neck.

“I’d really like that Daddy,” Lexi agreed brightly. “Would you like that too Callum?” Her sparkling eyes looked up to the tall man, a giant in her world.  
“I would absolutely love that,” Callum affirmed with an enthusiastic smile. “And whatever we do, we’ll make sure there’s time for an ice lolly yeah? They’re Daddy’s favourite in the winter…”

Ben could only smile easily at the interchange between the little girl who was his world & the tall man who was his lifeline as he rose back to his feet. “So long as it’s one of those fizzy lollies that make my tongue go all tingly…” He quirked an eyebrow playfully at Callum.

Lola decided it was time to interject. “Right Little Miss, it’s back to school for you. Plans for the weekend can wait until later now we know that Daddy’s stayin’ put”.  
“But Mummy,” Lexi began to protest. “Can’t we just stay here with Daddy & Callum?”  
“Not this time sweetie; reckon Daddy’s got a fair bit of sortin’ out to do…” Each of the adults present recognised she was talking in both a physical & metaphorical sense.   
“Ya Mum’s right baby,” Ben confirmed gently. “You need to get back to school so you can learn all those things then teach them to me…”

“Alright Daddy,” the young girl reluctantly acquiesced. “But we’re definitely havin’ all the ice lollies we can eat at the weekend ain’t we?” As ever, the Mitchell blood in her was turning the situation to her own benefit.  
“Definitely,” Ben gave her a wink, then ran an affectionate hand along her head. “Now you & Mummy had better get a wriggle on. Don’t want ya bein’ late for the afternoon register & me bein’ hauled into the Headmistress’s office for a talkin’ to…”

The three adults looked on quietly as Lexi began to skip her way merrily through the market, Lola then calling out after her daughter. “Lex, wait up for Mummy will ya?” She turned to look at the two men in front of her. “I have absolutely no idea what the past hour has been about, & suspect I don’t wanna know. Just a bit less of the drama from now on hey you two?” With that she emitted a soft giggle, then pressed a light kiss to both of their cheeks in turn. 

Ben fondly watched their retreat then turned his full focus to Callum, aware the man was now studying him intently. “Any chance we can just stop the world from spinnin’ for a while now?” he entreated softly, seeking out one of the elder man’s hands with his.  
“Course we can,” Callum reassured him gently with a stroke of his thumb to the man’s fingers, in an effort to ground them both.

Ben’s eyes drifted down to watch their joined hands as they intermingled. “I am so, so sorry…” he eventually admitted quietly. “For everythin’…”  
“Don’t matter now…” Callum shook his head. “Just know that I am proud of ya”.

Ben bit down on his lip to quell the rise of emotion suddenly surging within; an involuntary response that didn’t go unnoticed by the other man. “Dunno ‘bout you,” Callum gave his trademark chuckle, but all this spinning’s makin’ me hungry. Fancy a spot of lunch; my treat?” His eyes gestured towards the Caff as he asked the question.

“Reckon we could do that, yeah…” Ben affirmed with uncharacteristic bashfulness. “Just better go retrieve me bag from where I abandoned it halfway across the market first…” He pointed a thumb back in a generic direction across his own shoulder.   
“You’ll be lucky if it ain’t either been nicked or blown up by the bomb squad by now…” Callum returned with an easy laugh.  
“Better not of been,” Ben sighed, before his features began to lighten. “All me kecks are in there…”


	146. Chapter 146

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Bag now safely retrieved & in hand, Ben plotted his steady return to Callum, who was waiting patiently for him in the Caff. He took the opportunity of those few moments alone to gather in his breathing & steady his equilibrium, privately acknowledging that of all the tumultuous events in his life, the past 24 hours had surely been the most chaotic of all.

Taking one last deep breath, he pushed through the door & rounded the corner, eyes immediately connecting with Callum’s, where the man was already seated across the room. Soft, calm smiles were exchanged between them as Ben moved to join him, eye contact between them never slipping. 

“Ya tellin’ me that’s your entire worldly possessions in that one bag?” Callum queried in amused tones, as he watched Ben place the baggage under their table & slip into the seat opposite him.

“Told ya before didn’t I?” Ben began quietly as he offered a casual shrug. “Never really wanted to settle anywhere long enough to acquire loads of things. Until now…” With those two simple final words he renewed their eye contact, then very deliberately reached into one of the buttoned pockets of his fleece – specifically the one that aligned directly with his heart – to remove his wallet from there.

Callum was enchanted as he watched Ben position his wallet – the wallet Callum had given him for Christmas – down on the table between them.  
“Got everythin’ I could possibly want right here anyway…” the younger man affirmed gently.

“Ya kept it…” Callum found his breath taken away by a sudden swell of emotion, so only managed to utter the words at a whisper.  
“Kept it, treasured it, never let it out of my sight…” Ben returned in similarly hushed tones, linking their hands across the table. “Thank you, by the way…” He thought it time he finally offered an acknowledgement of thanks for the gift.  
“You’re welcome…” Callum accepted, suddenly a little choked up.

“Never got the chance to give ya the present I’d bought for you…” Ben continued softly. “…Which is somethin’ I’ve regretted every day since…”  
“Don’t matter…” Callum tried to deflect any sense of remorse with a shake of his head.  
The younger man tilted his own head to offer an inquisitive look. “Ya want it now? I mean, it ain’t gift wrapped or anythin’ so neatly presented as yours was…”

For the second time within the space of a minute, Callum found himself dumbfounded. “You bought me somethin’ & ya kept it?” He somehow managed to splutter out.  
“Turned out I was pretty shit boyfriend, but not that shit I didn’t get ya a Christmas present…” Ben fought back a sniff, circling his thumb against the other man’s knuckles.  
Their exchange was interrupted as the waitress brought their drinks over, with a comment that their food would follow shortly. 

Ben screwed his eyes up at the two glasses of orange juice that had been placed in front of them. “We on a health kick or somethin’?” he queried dubiously.  
“Thought ya could do with some Vitamin C,” Callum asserted matter-of-factly. “Not convinced you’ve been takin’ care of yourself lately…”  
“Ya sayin’ I look rough?” Ben attempted to fix him with a challenging stare.  
“I’m sayin’ ya look tired,” Callum corrected, returning the stare with equal force to the extent that the younger man found it too disarming & had to look away.

“So, back to that present I bought ya…” Ben was all too happy to deflect the attention from his current wellbeing, & it spoke volumes that he did so in favour of this particular topic.  
“You’ve got it here?” Callum was becoming a little more bewildered with every disclosure.  
Ben confirmed his assumption to be correct with a nod of his head. “Ya want it?”  
“You want me to have it?” Callum’s eyes narrowed to search the other man’s for the answer.

Ben again seemed unable to hold within that intensity of gaze, so distracted himself by fishing about in the side pocket of his bag. “Like I said, it ain’t wrapped or anythin’…” Almost apologetically, he handed a compact rectangular box, no bigger than a drinks coaster, across to Callum.

The elder man inspected the unbranded, essentially unremarkable, box with due consideration, running a hand over his mouth as he did so.  
“Try lookin’ inside it…” Ben prompted, in an attempt at humour to disguise his nerves.  
“Was gettin’ to that…” Callum protested, but followed the instruction anyway, carefully removing the box’s lid & taking in its contents.

“If ya don’t like it, I don’t mind,” Ben began to interject. “I know it ain’t everyone’s type of thing. I just saw it & thought it might be your sort of thing; if it ain’t though, don’t worry…” He was babbling through utter insecurity at his choice of gift & the sudden realisation of how seminal it might actually be: Callum got him – how that had been demonstrated over recent days – did Ben though really get him? 

Ben lifted a thumb to the corner of his mouth & began to gnaw down on it anxiously…  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot, & will not, have it that Ben didn't buy Callum a gift for Christmas before everything went south...
> 
> Exhibit 1: The sheer volume of presents Ben was wrapping for Callum's birthday. When he cares for someone, he really goes all out.
> 
> Exhibit 2: We already know Ben was ahead on his Christmas shopping, as he was trying to wrap Lexi's unicorn in what was mid December.
> 
> I will fight to the death over this segment of narrative!
> 
> The question is - what has he got Callum?


	147. Chapter 147

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Callum’s face burst into a radiant smile. “I love it Ben; I absolutely love it…”  
“Yeah?” the younger man checked cautiously.  
“Yes,” the older man confirmed definitively, a rush of blood to his head prompting him to rise from his chair, causing its feet to scrape torturously against the floor much to the other customers’ disdain, lean across the table & tug at Ben’s fleece to draw the man forwards into a kiss. 

“It’s alright then, yeah?” Ben grinned as their lips withdrew.  
“You know it is,” Callum grinned back.  
“Glad to hear it,” Ben chuckled. “You are causin’ a bit of a scene now though babe…” He couldn’t quite get over how comfortable in his own skin the man before him had now become. Whatever sort of monster he’d created in respect of the ticking conscience Callum now was in his own head, it was a thrill to see the man so outwardly confident in public.

Callum settled back down in his seat just as their food was brought over to them. “One BLT…” the girl settled the plate containing the sandwich down in front of them & departed as quickly as she’d arrived.

“Wasn’t sure what ya fancied…” Callum offered a prompt explanation, “so just thought we’d share a sandwich…”  
“Healthier option again…” Ben quirked an expressive eyebrow, but was for once in his life too tired to play on the _wasn’t sure what you fancied_ innuendo offered up to him.   
That fact wasn’t missed by Callum, but he opted not to dwell on it. “If the healthy bit of that sandwich offends ya that much, you eat the bread & bacon, I’ll eat the lettuce & tomato. Now tuck in yeah, while I put this on…”

The _this_ Callum was referring to was Ben’s gift of a woven leather bracelet: inconspicuous enough to look like a watch strap at a passing glance, but something more intricate to anybody that chose to look closely enough. A metaphor for the entire foundation of their relationship perhaps.

“I stopped short of gettin’ it engraved with anythin’,” Ben offered in quiet explanation, watching on as Callum slid the item onto his wrist. “You’ve probably noticed by now I ain’t great at spellin’ out what I feel…” There went the man’s latest self-deprecating admission.  
“Oh I dunno,” Callum smiled encouragingly, as he fiddled the bracelet about his wrist to decide on the perfect place to position it. “I thought _you make me wanna be better_ was pretty special…”

They shared an easy smile across the table, before Callum’s expression slid to something more serious. “Ya ain’t been eatin’ properly, ‘av ya?” He tapped a finger at the hitherto untroubled sandwich in front of them.  
“Ain’t really hungry,” Ben passed the assertion off with a wince.  
“When did ya last eat somethin’?” The elder man pressed again, concern rife in his voice & his features.  
Ben’s face contorted into a frown as he tried to recall, recognising there was little point in denial. “Ain’t actually sure; before the cops came callin’ though…”

“They didn’t give ya any food while ya were at the police station?” Callum looked affronted.  
“Seen more appetising lookin’ food bein’ brought back up by Lexi when she’s sick,” the younger man grumbled, then plastered a combative smirk across his face. “Still, bet the grub’s a bit better than slops if you’re on the other side of the cells & in the staff canteen...”

Callum sighed & drew a hand down his own face wearily, refusing to be drawn into that particular conflict. “Will ya eat at least a bit of this now, for me?”  
Ben took a drawn-out swig of his orange juice, then eventually gave his response. “If it means you’ll quit your naggin’ at me, then yes”. With an evident amount of reluctance, he tore off a section of the sandwich & chewed down on it. Callum watching on in silent approval. 

“I’m naggin’ because I care Ben…” Callum calmly asserted as the man finished his mouthful.  
“I know,” Ben permitted a small concession by taking another piece of the sandwich.  
“I meant everythin’ I’ve said to you, about stickin’ by ya & gettin’ through this together, but to do that, we need to be open & honest with each other…” Callum himself then took a section of the sandwich, chewing on it slowly as he let his words sink in. 

“I know that too & I promise I will try every day…” Ben affirmed, voice suddenly barely above a whisper. “But if I’m bein’ completely open & honest with ya at the moment, I’m just so darn tired Cal. After the past 24 hours, I have so little left in me. I’m too tired to eat; I’m almost too tired to speak; I’m probably even too tired to sleep…”

Callum leant across to stroke his hand. “Come on you; let’s go home…”  
A moment’s hesitation crossed Ben’s features, as he tried to ponder exactly where his home was now; he was though quite frankly too shattered to care. Swiping his wallet from the table & stowing it carefully in the pocket closest to his heart again, he dragged his weight from the chair & leant to pick up his bag.

“No ya don’t…” Callum swiped his hand away, collecting up the bag himself, then offering out his free hand for Ben to take. As they emerged out on to the street, Ben let his head slip to the nook of Callum’s shoulder & left his man to steer them home.


	148. Chapter 148

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Callum sat quietly on the sofa, fingers playing through Ben's hair as the man lay soundly asleep, head nestled in the elder man's lap, body curled up neatly. 

The irony wasn't lost on Callum that the last time they had been settled similarly like this had been the night before Ben had ended things. Callum's moral compass had flickered that night too, just as it was doing now...

Things were so different this time though: not least the extent to which the man before him was broken. Back in December, with another man's blood visible on his shirt, Ben had been so alive, with a sense of belligerence to carry on regardless. He'd thought he could take on the world & fix its problems single-handed.

Callum wondered when the realisation had finally dawned on the man that he couldn't be everything to everyone on his own, & recognised how hard that must have been to someone so used to acting as lone wolf.

Every action has its consequence, & the toll it was now taking on Ben was painfully obvious: pallid skin & complexion; erratic sleeping patterns; loss of appetite. An over reliance on alcohol too, Callum firmly suspected.

Callum couldn't condone or approve of Ben's role in Keanu's murder, but he could understand why he had taken his part. And he could reward & encourage the man's courage & resolve in deciding to stay to face whatever his fate would be.

_I will be anywhere that you are…_

_You can tell me anythin’ & it wouldn’t matter to me…_

Callum's mind was made up: it was time to practice what he'd preached. If he ever truly wanted Ben to accept & submit to some of the other home truths Callum had issued to him before Christmas, the elder man would lead by the example of his own first. He was more convinced than ever that if he could teach Ben to allow himself to be loved, & to love, the man could get through anything the world could throw at him.

_This is special, Ben…Me & you, I’ve been lookin’ for this for half of my life…And I am in love with you Ben. Real & proper love, & it’s beautiful…_

The sequence of words played over & over through Callum’s mind as he focused in on the trawl of his fingers through Ben’s hair: a sensation he still wasn’t sure which of them took more comfort from than the other. All he did know was that it was an occupation he’d missed beyond that he could possibly hope to explain, & that seemed to have brought some much-needed respite to Ben’s chaotic world. 

Callum could ask or hope for little more right now, so he tipped his head to rest it to the back of the sofa, & let his eyes drift shut to lose himself in the sensation. 

\- - -

Callum came to abruptly at the slamming of the flat door & glanced down in concern for Ben, as the cacophony of noise that was Stuart ascending the stairs threatened to disturb the man’s much-needed slumber. Ben luckily appeared unmoved so far, but Callum was already wondering for how much longer that would be the case.

“You ain’t gonna believe this one bruv…” Stuart’s excitable voice blustered through the silence.   
“Ssshhh; shut up will ya…” Callum began to sternly entreat from his position on the sofa, twisting his head in the direction of the stairs, in the hope his words of warning would be carried out of Ben’s earshot.   
“Ya what?” Stuart queried loudly as he rounded the corner.  
“I said shut up…” Callum reinforced at a hiss, slipping his weight out from beneath Ben, & tenderly substituting his own lap for a cushion for the man’s head to rest on. 

“What the hell is he…” Stuart tried to voice his instant disapproval at Ben’s presence, but found himself unceremoniously shoved back down the stairs at pace, Callum following on behind.

“Not here, not now, please Stu…” Callum began to assert in hushed tones as they reached the foot of the stairs.  
“Bruv, it’s the middle of the afternoon & Ben Mitchell appears to be mid-siesta on our sofa…” Stuart retorted. “I think I’ve at least got the right to ask the question…”  
Callum ran a hand through his hair, giving a moment’s thought to what explanation he wanted to give. “Ok, look, we’re just tryin’ to work some things through, so I’d appreciate a bit of space…”

Stuart looked confused. “Are the two of ya…”  
“We’re back together, yeah…” Callum affirmed, a marked softness suddenly present in his voice.  
“And what ‘appens when he hurts ya again?” The elder Highway looked unconvinced.

Callum looked his brother square in the eyes. “Did you ask yourself that exact same question when Rainie got out of jail?”  
“But she ain’t the local scumbag who’s steadily workin’ their way round shaggin’ the entire gay population of Walford…”  
“And Ben ain’t neither…” Callum retaliated firmly. “Nor is he the local reformed drug addict…” His eyebrows raised to reinforce his insinuation was aimed firmly at Rainie. 

Stuart knew he was beaten. “Can’t say I’m thrilled about this bruv…”  
“Ya want me to be happy don’t ya?” Callum countered with a defiant lift of his head. “Ben makes me happy”.  
“I get that…” Stuart finally relented a little, gripping a supportive hand to his younger brother’s arm. “I just don’t want ya to end up gettin’ hurt”.  
“I won’t…” Callum delivered his closing words on the matter decisively. “So, can we have bit of space, just for this evenin’, please?”

“Sure thing…” Stuart gave his cautious approval with a nod. “We’ll give the place a wide berth for the night…Just have a bit of respect for the furniture & fittings will ya. Don’t reckon that lamp will withstand a second knock…”

Callum felt himself flush with instant colour at the memory, but permitted himself a small chortle anyhow. “You have my personal assurance the lamp will come to no harm…”


	149. Chapter 149

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Callum chuckled whimsically to himself as he climbed back up the stairs to the flat, pausing on the top landing to check that the retreating Stuart closed the door quietly behind him.

Whilst there he took a few moments to lean against the wall & afford himself a brief opportunity of respite from what had been an emotionally charged twenty-four hours.

“Where’d my comfy human pillow go?” Ben’s sleepy voice broke through his thoughts.  
“Nowhere,” Callum reassured, rounding the corner back into the flat. “Just seein’ Stu off the premises…” He made his return to the sofa, waiting while Ben shifted his weight to make room for him, then dropping down to assume his previous position.

“Ya lnow, if you just wanna turn in for the night & catch up on yer sleep, that’s fine by me…” Callum entreated softly as his fingers found their way back to his man’s hair. “You’re obviously exhausted…”

Ben reached out for Callum’s right arm so he could study the face of his watch. “It ain’t even five in the afternoon yet! Besides, we’re comfortable here, ain’t we?”

“Course we are,” Callum agreed in gentle tones, recognising a fleeting look of trepidation on Ben’s features at even the thought of going to bed. He guessed that was understandable, given the man’s disclosure from the previous day that he’d been struggling lately with troubled sleep.

“Plus,” Ben pressed his hands to the sofa to push his weight upwards until he was in a near seated position. “I’m guessin’ ya have some questions ya need answers to…” As Ben let his words sink into the air between them, he fixated on picking at the seam of the other man’s jeans.

Callum expelled a deliberately long breath, as if willing it to release enough tension for both of them, before lifting his arm to allow Ben’s head to rest deeper into him, & placing his hand as a reassuring constant against the younger man’s arm. “We don’t have to do this now…”

“Yeah we do…” Ben countered, then repeated the words as if to define the significance of them. “Yes we do, because I’m indebted to you for so much, & the very least I should give you right now is any answers you need…”

Callum could hardly refute that sentiment, so began stroking his thumb up & down Ben’s arm in what he hoped transmitted as an act of solidarity. “I guess there is one thing that’s playin’ on my mind…” he admitted in as even a tone as he could muster.

“Ok,” Ben accepted quietly, swallowing back a lump in his throat to remind himself he truly owed his man some honesty.

“Your alibi…” Callum returned barely above a whisper, as if afraid to even utter the words. “Is it watertight?”

Ben’s hand stilled in its position against Callum’s thigh, other than his thumb tracing a small repetitive circle. “Don’t even think about goin’ there,” he began to entreat, gaze glued to his lap. “You ain’t gonna…”

Callum cut him off before he could finish his sentence. “I ain’t sayin’ I’d give you an alibi Ben. I just need to know that ya weren’t so caught up in protectin’ everyone else that ya forgot to protect yourself…”

“I promise you I was careful,” Ben sought out his man’s free hand & lifted it so his lips could press an affirming kiss against it. “I made sure everyone I care about was beyond reproach. Dad, Lou & me, we stayed in plain sight, so any number of witnesses could alibi us. Lex, Jay & Lola, I made sure they were kept at arm’s length from what was goin’ on, & you…” He stalled mid explanation, recognising he was on the verge of giving another bit of himself away.

“I get it…” Callum interjected calmly, letting his head lean into Ben’s hair, drinking its scent in for a second. “You made sure you pushed me far enough that I’d take myself out of harm’s way”.

“I truly am sorry…” Ben admitted through a shaky breath.  
Callum pressed the lightest of kisses to his head. “We ain’t gonna start dealin’ in regrets now, but I just wish you’d realised you could of talked to me”.

Ben sniffed down his emotion as he gave some pensive consideration to what he wanted to say next. “I so, so nearly backed out of pushing you away…” he finally admitted cautiously, his hand still fiddling against that of Callum’s. 

“Christmas Eve?” Callum expelled warm breath to the other man’s scalp. “You were comin’ here to see me that evenin’ after all…”  
“Too proud for me own good sometimes,” Ben sighed a sad confirmation.  
“Not to mention stubborn, pig headed, belligerent…” Callum continued to suggest.

“Yeah alright,” the younger man titled his head upwards to engage the eyes of the man in whose arms he was sheltering. “Maybe just don’t mention it then…” The slightest of smiles played at the corners of his mouth, in indication of his amusement.

“Lucky for you I ‘appen to find each of those qualities on the attractive side, ain’t it?” Callum chuckled to demonstrate there was no malice intended.  
“Yer somethin’ else, ya know that Callum Highway?” Ben teased back, arching his neck in suggestion of initiating a kiss.  
“That I am…” the elder man agreed with a smile, dipping his head so their lips could meet, albeit clumsily. 

As they pulled slowly apart, Ben permitted himself a couple of quiet admissions. “Missed this…” He shuffled his weight back down to rest his head in Callum’s lap once more. “Missed you…”


	150. Chapter 150

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

They’d been lazing in the contented silence of one another’s company for some time longer before Ben spoke again. “Where’d ya go?” he sniffed. “At Christmas, I mean…” His eyes looked up enquiringly to meet Callum’s. 

“Spent a bit of time with an old friend & his family…” Callum returned quietly, aware that Chris’s name still wasn’t one he’d brought up around Ben. It wasn’t an intentional duplicity, there just never had been the right moment, & it certainly wasn’t likely to be that now either. “Then had a drinking session with one of me Army mates, before decidin’ it weren’t doin’ anyone any good, so found meself somewhere to volunteer for a few weeks…”

“Is there a bad bone anywhere in this mighty fine body of yours?” Ben part idolised, part lamented.   
“Oh, you might just be surprised…” Callum chuckled knowingly.  
“Try me…” Ben near dared, nestling his head a little deeper into the man’s lap, so he could look at him more intently.

Callum too adjusted the position of his hand accordingly, so he could still comfortably run a hand through Ben’s hair. “Got arrested for ABH just before Christmas…” he then declared as casually as if offering to make a cup of tea.

“Ya what?” Ben both looked & sounded shocked: he’d assumed he’d be the one delivering the majority of revelations in their relationship for the near future at least. “Who? Where? How?” Each of his one-word questions sounded that little more taken aback.

“Ya know Leo – that guy Whitney was seein’…” Callum expanded cagily.  
“As if I could forget ‘im,” Ben affirmed, given that man’s name seemed to have been a near constant presence on Callum’s lips at one point in their relationship.   
“He’s been stalkin’ Whit, the police didn’t wanna know, so someone needed to do somethin’ about it…”

“So you just took it on yerself to be that person?” Ben queried uncertainly, although with more than a hint of admiration evident in his tone. “Unprovoked?”  
“Well,” Callum fidgeted his weight a little uncomfortably. “Pretty much unprovoked as far as he was concerned, other than he’d been stalkin’ my ex. But I was feelin’ pretty riled at the time, seein’ as you’d been sittin’ just across from me in the Vic but completely blankin’ me…”

Ben’s lips pursed into a tight line as he gave some consideration to what had just been said. He’d isolated the occasion to which Callum was referring fairly easily in his mind’s eye, but his recollection of events was slightly different. “I kept lookin’ across at ya constantly that evenin’…just didn’t dare catch yer eye, because I knew you’d break me…”  
“Well,” Callum mused with a small laugh. “Turns out I broke someone else instead…”

“You can’t leave me hangin’ there…” Ben began to protest, promptly lifting his body weight upwards, then reorganising it haphazardly to straddle himself across Callum’s lap & direct a piercing stare into his eyes. “Did they charge ya?”  
Callum moved his hands to rest them lightly on the man’s hips. “Nah, he didn’t press charges, luckily for me…”

Ben tilted his head to one side & drew his thumb slowly along the stubble of Callum’s jawline. “Quite the dark ‘orse, ain’t ya?” he smiled endearingly. “I always suspected that Leo was a wrong’un though…” As he spoke, his eyes were intently following the path his thumb was travelling. “Told ‘im as much the first time we saw ‘im, actually…”

“What?” It was Callum’s turn to be wrong footed. “When we was on that date at E20?”  
“Mhmm…” Ben’s attention was still caught up in studying the contours of Callum’s stubble. “You’d nipped to the gents, he was linin’ up more drinks at the bar, so I took the opportunity to suggest it wasn’t in anyone’s best interests to cause any scenes that might result in our date night goin’ south…”

“Now who’s the dark horse, eh?” Callum marvelled, his fingers rubbing gently against Ben’s waist. “You lookin’ out for Whit; who’d of thought it…”  
Ben gave a short grimace, moving his face close enough to his man’s that the breath played against his skin. “Might just be possible my intervention had more to do with my own self-interest, rather than a grave concern for Whit’s virtue, ya know…”  
“Really?” Callum chuckled, leaning his own face ever closer Ben’s. “That I’d never of guessed…”

With a smile shared, they finally gave into the closeness of their proximity then, settling into a slow, reacquainting kiss. The physical side of their relationship had long since had an effortless quality, so they were more than happy to lose themselves in the freedom it offered up for a while.


	151. Chapter 151

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

They’d indulged their leisurely kiss for several minutes before Ben leant back a little to look his man in the eye & return to their previous conversational strand. “What does that mean for your police aspirations?” The question was voiced in a quiet tone of neutral interest, as the hand that by now seemed almost glued to the side of Callum’s face let his thumb move across to gently graze along the man’s cheekbone.

Callum’s tongue flicked from his mouth to add some much needed moisture to his lips. “Would’ve been curtains if I’d been charged,” he moved one of his hands from Ben’s waist to brush back some wisps of hair from the other man’s brow. “Unluckily for you though, nothin’s changed on that score…”

Ben looked a little affronted by the notion. “Believe it or not, I know this police thing matters to ya, so you have my support for it. I wouldn’t ever ask you to change your dreams for me…” He leant back in to re-establish their kiss in affirmation of his words, sensing Callum’s appreciative smile against his lips. 

“How’s the trainin’ been goin’?” Ben’s hand began to trail down from Callum’s face to his neck while he mouthed his next question between kisses.  
“Took a nosedive over Christmas,” Callum confirmed, returning both hands to Ben’s waist to pull him in closer. “Found my mojo again now though…” When neither was answering the other, they were kissing; when either was answering, they were nuzzling nose to nose, hot breaths against each other’s lips, always tantalisingly close to their next kiss.

“Bet you’ve been missin’ Ben Mitchell’s unique trainin’ regime though…” Ben smirked deliciously.   
“Bits of it, maybe…” Callum chuckled in return. Much as he was enjoying this flirtatious exchange though, he knew this was an apt opportunity to return to a point he’d been making earlier. “Good trainin’ routines ain’t just about the physical exercise though, it’s about lookin’ after yerself properly too…” He tilted his head to one side to establish enough space between them that he could hold the other man’s gaze. “Eatin’ well, sleepin’ well…”

Ben emitted a heavy sigh, but stopped short of any sarcastic response. He knew, understood, appreciated deep down even, that all Callum wanted to do was help. 

“A quarter of a sandwich ain’t gonna sustain ya for long…” Callum quirked an expressive eyebrow, determined to retain their frivolous tone. “Snoggin’ burns calories after all…”  
“Shaggin’ burns treble the amount, & can form a sound basis of any fitness regime…” Ben suggested back with the sultriest of smiles.   
“Better make us somethin’ high in calorific content then…” Callum quipped back easily, before his features settled into a neutral, calm expression. “Ya gonna try eatin’ a bit of somethin’ if I cook it for ya?”

Ben sank down on his haunches, atop of Callum’s thighs, knowing he had to make some concessions along the way. “I can try I guess, my appetite just ain’t really been there lately…” He looked suddenly pensive, his more carefree state of the past hour threatening to evade him once more.

Callum immediately determined that just wouldn’t do. “Reckon we can work on gettin’ that appetite of yours goin’ again, don’t you?” He briefly raised an eyebrow. “What d’ya say to a soak in the bath, then a little somethin’ to eat, followed by an early night…”

Ben still looked momentarily preoccupied as he gave headspace to the plan, but soon seemed to settle on something positive again. “That bath ya mentioned,” he ventured casually with a sniff. “What chance you’ll be joinin’ me in there?”  
“Every chance,” Callum affirmed with a nod. “Ain’t gonna chance lettin’ you out of my sight for a second from now on, am I…”


	152. Chapter 152

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Callum had come to learn in recent times that the way to get Ben to talk wasn’t through confrontation or seeking answers to endless questions, it was actually through something as simple as being a constant composed presence: reassuring, encouraging, listening. 

So he wasn’t especially surprised when, as they lounged in the bath, Ben broke the easy silence between them to offer up another illuminating snippet of what his life had lately become. Callum sat with his back to the tub, with Ben nestled effortlessly between his thighs: the younger man’s shoulders leant against his chest; the elder man’s legs tangled around his in the water.

“Before I got outta the taxi, me Dad said he was proud of me…” Ben’s eyelids were lightly shut as he volunteered the information.  
“Yeah?” Callum acknowledged quietly, slipping a kiss to his man’s shoulder. “How d’ya feel about that?”

Ben’s eyes reopened at the question, to which he responded with a slight shrug. “A bit conflicted, I guess…”  
“How so?” Callum followed up again with another kiss, this time to the nape of the man’s neck. There was nothing overtly sexual in his caressing advances, just the unspoken transmission that he was there in support & comfort. 

“It’s like the thing I’ve been waitin’ all these years to hear from ‘im…” Ben suggested timidly, “but he’s gone now, ain’t he? So it ain’t somethin’ we’re ever gonna have the chance to build on…”

Callum dealt another single kiss as he gave some quiet consideration to the assertion. Phil Mitchell was someone he privately held little regard for, but he’d always understood from his own personal experiences that Ben felt a constant need for acceptance from him. He’d never be so cruel to dismiss that desire, although ironically both of their fathers most probably would be.

“Sounds like he’s happy you’ve chosen to be your own man…” Callum suggested, hitting on a response that fulfilled the halfway house of being neither too glowing nor too sceptical.   
“Maybe…” Ben didn’t sound entirely sure, although Callum suspected there may yet be more to come, so stayed quiet.

His patience was soon rewarded, as Ben spoke again. “He told me I should put everythin’ on ‘im when it comes to the police…”  
Callum thought carefully again before giving any response. “That’s not so far from the truth really, is it…”  
“I ain’t a grass…” Ben swiftly corrected.

Callum dipped his chin so that it came to rest against Ben’s shoulder. “Can ya really be classed a grass if you’re doin’ it with the blessin’ of the person you’re putting the blame on?” As he finished the enquiry, he turned his head to look across.

Ben too angled his head to return the gaze. He looked profoundly confused, as if his very essence was being tested. “I dunno babe…” he shrugged, pecking a kiss to Callum’s nose. “I just dunno…”

Callum reasoned to leave that particular strand of conversation there, tapping his finger to the bridge of Ben’s nose affectionately, then sitting back up into his original frame. He didn’t want conflict between them at any point, but least of all now. This wasn’t the time to go all guns blazing on anti-Phil Mitchell propaganda.

“Will ya wash my hair?” Ben’s gentle request brought Callum back from his gathering thoughts.  
“Course,” Callum agreed on an outward breath of part relief, part relaxation. This was _their thing:_ at the end of a long trying day, or when they were just seeking a little time that was for themselves only, they washed one another’s hair. It seemed a simple, yet peculiarly intimate, way of reinforcing the bond between them. 

Callum reached up to retrieve the shower head from above them, smiling to himself that he really did know Ben so well: he’d suspected the request for his hair to be washed would come up, so had pre-prepared enough to ensure everything was in easy reach. Well, easy enough reach for him anyway; perhaps not quite so for a short arse like Ben…

He switched the shower on & waited for it to reach a comfortable temperature, then gave a simple instruction. “Eyes shut…” With Ben having done as he was directed, Callum raised the shower over Ben’s head & started to dampen his hair, carefully guiding the water backwards to prevent it from torrenting down the man’s face. Ben seemed less settled than usual though, fidgeting & shuffling his weight, so Callum paused his occupation. “What’s up, ‘aven’t I got the water hot enough?”

Ben sat forward a little, reopening his eyes. “Flippin’ contact lenses are scratchin’ at me eyeballs. It’s my own fault for leavin’ ‘em in while I catnapped earlier…”  
“So take ‘em out then?” Callum failed to see the issue, offering up what he thought was the obvious solution. As he gave the matter a little further though, he started to realise it might leave Ben in a position of vulnerability he wasn’t yet comfortable with. “I won’t leave ya stranded ‘ere in the bath, ya know. I’ll go & grab yer glasses in the instant we’re done…”

“You better had…” Ben grumbled, reluctantly accepting that he had little choice. “Don’t want the various bits of my anatomy shrivelling up to the size & consistency of a prune”.  
“Nope, definitely don’t want that!” Callum teased mischievously with hot breath against the man’s neck. “Now get on with it will ya, before we single-handedly cause London a water shortage…”

Ben acquiesced & carefully removed the lens from each eye in turn, discarding them on the edge of the bath tub.   
“Better?” Callum then queried softly, guiding Ben to lean backwards again with a soft push from this hand.  
“Better…” the younger man affirmed, letting his eyes drift shut again, finally able to enjoy the sensation of water & Callum’s hand working their way against his scalp.


	153. Chapter 153

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

"Happy now?" Callum watched as Ben slotted his glasses into place over his nose. True to his word, the elder man had retrieved the optical aids from Ben's bag promptly once the bathwater had turned cold & they'd both reluctantly had to admit it was time to vacate.

An obvious smirk played across Ben's features as he took a step closer to his man. "If I take these glasses off, then put them on again, will that make that towel of yours disappear?"  
"In your dreams, maybe," Callum simply laughed.  
"As if," Ben chuckled, continuing to towel himself down. "You've been up to so much more in my dreams..."

Callum emitted a steadying cough, drawing the towel around his own midriff a little tighter, then spoke again, stepping in closer himself as he did so. "Brought ya back somethin' else too..."  
Ben studied his open hand, a soft smile then emerging in recognition.  
"You always spent more time in it than I did anyway..." Callum offered his towelling grey dressing gown across. "And ya look way better in it than me..."

Ben accepted the gown unquestioningly, slipping himself within it, then letting his towel tumble to the floor. He took in a luxuriating breath of the fabric, tucking himself a little tighter within it. "Feels like home..." he admitted quietly.

Callum smiled fondly. "Always a home for ya here: ya know that, right?"  
"Ain't sure I deserve any of this," Ben sighed, trailing a finger idly down the man's exposed chest. "But thank you..." The desire to touch, & to be touched, becoming ever stronger between them.

There was so much Callum wanted to speak of in that moment, not least Ben's seeming lack of self-worth, but he recognised this wasn't the time, so let it drop, in favour of dipping his head & softly teasing his lips against those of the shorter man. "As a point of clarity though..." he began, with heated breath as his lips grazed their way tantalisingly along Ben's mouth. ”Just because I've said ya can consider this place home, don't mean I'll put up with ya leavin' dirty laundry on the floor..." He drew their shared gaze downwards to look at the discarded towel at their feet.

Ben bit down against his lower lip as he gave Callum's apparent flirtation some thought. "Was kinda hopin' you'd bend down & pick it up for me..." he suggested, with the quirk of an eyebrow. ”Give me a bit of an eye full while you're at it..." His hands slipped to the lower portion of the man's towel, tugging it upwards in suggestion.

"Oh ya did, did ya?" Callum unleashed a knowing smile, swatting the man's hands away, before sliding down effortlessly onto his knees, hands perched at Ben's hips for balance.

That manoeuvre alone was enough to draw a sharp intake of breath from Ben, who glanced skywards to offer a silent thanks to whatever god had delivered this man into his life: the way he knew exactly what Ben needed, & exactly when to grant it, left Ben near speechless every time.

Callum, though, it transpired, had other matters on his mind, scooping up the towel in one hand, & rising back to his feet. "At ease tiger..." he chuckled softly, pecking an apologetic kiss between their mouths. ”We're eatin' somethin' first, remember..."

Ben shook his head in disbelief. "There's a word for that sort of behaviour, ya know..."  
Callum flung the towel at his man's head. "Course there is," he grinned. "It's called housework, ain't it? You should try it sometime..."

Ben's mouth all but dropped open as he watched Callum retreat from the bathroom. He couldn't have this change of dynamic in their relationship without a hint of retaliation at least, so he scurried on after him.

"Is this gonna be sexy kitchen time, with you cookin' in nothing but that towel of yours?" As Ben made his enquiry he ran his own towel roughly through his hair to remove the excess droplets of water.

"I ‘appen to value my manhood, so definitely not..." Callum chuckled, snatching up a t-shirt from the pile of clean clothing in the laundry basket, then tugging it on over his head.  
"Just so happens I value it very highly too..." Ben smirked, watching on as Callum dug further into the basket to find a pair of boxer shorts, pulling them on in turn.

Callum grinned at their flirtatious interactions, then let his features settle to something more earnest. "Feelin' a bit hungrier now?"  
Ben too softened from playful to candid, gaze fixing to the kitchen countertop. “Maybe just a little bit…I ain’t so sure I could do that infamous chicken pasta of yours justice though…” He felt almost apologetic in uttering the notion, fearful of causing unintended offence.

Callum though simply returned an easy smile, moving his way back across to stand in front of Ben. “I can rustle up somethin’ a bit simpler tonight, yeah?” He lay his palms to Ben’s upper arms. “Plenty more nights ahead I can cook that speciality up for ya again…”

Ben gave a faint nod of his head in agreement, a little overwhelmed at the generosity of the man before him. Unable to stomach that feeling, he defaulted to a tone that was altogether lighter. “Fish fingers & smiley faces all round then is it?” He knew Callum would understand the self-deprecating context, as that particular dish was his own speciality when it came to cooking Lexi’s tea. 

“Mmm,” Callum’s hands rubbed their way rhythmically up & down the sleeves of Ben’s dressing gown. “Ain’t too sure my freezer’s gonna stretch to smiley faces, but I’ll see what I can do. Meanwhile you can sit yourself down over there & concentrate on lookin’ gorgeous…” He nodded in the direction of the sofa. 

“Ya mean you don’t want my expert help in the kitchen?” Ben suggested back, feigning hurt.  
“No,” Callum clarified. “I want you to sit down, relax & let someone else take the strain for a while…”  
Ben appeared unconvinced. “Don’t exactly sit easily with a control freak like me…”  
“Then start practicing…” Callum affirmed, turning Ben within his hold & guiding him gently in towards the sofa. “Now, do not move a muscle…”


	154. Chapter 154

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Ben burst into the most radiating fit of the giggles Callum thought he’d ever have the privilege of seeing, in the instant he took a seat at the kitchen table & glanced down at the plate of food Callum had prepared for him. There, arranged into the form of a smiley face, was a small portion of fish fingers, chips & peas.   
“It’s good to see ya smilin’ again…” Callum ventured in a typically heartfelt manner, as he settled himself down next to him at the table. 

Ben seemed again to conjure with sentiments he just didn’t know how to voice. It wasn’t just the fact that Callum had created his own unique version of a smiley face, or that he’d taken care to only serve up what Ben might consider a manageable amount: it was simply his relentless & effortless ability to tame even the wildest fragments of Ben. “Feels good to ‘av somethin’ to smile about again…” he finally found some words that he hoped accurately conveyed how he was feeling.

Both men looked across into the other’s eyes exchanging a warm smile, before they were interrupted by the ringing of Callum’s mobile phone. “Tuck in without me…” he gestured calmly, rising back out of his seat to retrieve his phone from the other side of the room. 

Ben listened in as Callum answered the call, shaking his head at the realisation it was Stuart at the other end, no doubt inventing another reason to steal his brother’s attentions away. “No Stu, it ain’t a great time, as you already know full well. So whatever it is you want, make it snappy…” Callum directed an appeasing smile in the direction of Ben, who had twisted his weight around to glance across at him, then dropped down forlornly on the sofa to listen to his brother vent.

A sigh escaped Ben’s lips as he returned his attention to the food, that despite Callum’s very best of intentions, he still wasn’t entirely sure he had any appetite to actually eat. He didn’t want to let the man down though, so cut through the end of one of the fish fingers using the edge of his fork & took a reluctant mouthful of it. 

He glanced across at Callum’s plate as he chewed, pondering whether he should put it back in the oven to keep it warm, but settled on the decision that might only inadvertently encourage the phone conversation to continue for any longer than was absolutely necessary. If there was one thing Ben knew by now about Callum, it was that very little, if anything, was permitted to come between himself & a good meal. 

Ben couldn’t resist a spot of play though, so having cast a momentary peek in Callum’s direction to ensure his attention was elsewhere, he leant across & began to assemble the foodstuffs on the man’s plate into his own pictorial formation. Pleased with his creation, he then settled back in his seat & took another mouthful of food.

“For the final time, goodbye Stuart…” Callum meanwhile spoke assertively to his brother & promptly terminated the call, activating silent mode on his phone for good measure. He exhaled an exasperated sigh while pushing his weight up from the sofa & returned to his place beside Ben, ruffling a hand to the man’s hair as he passed close by.

“That alright for ya?” Callum waved a casual hand to indicate the food on Ben’s plate.  
“Spot on,” Ben assured, noting the man was too preoccupied to have noticed the food on his own plate as yet. “What’s Uncle Fester’s problem?”

Callum sighed again, recognising there was little point in calling Ben out on the derogatory nickname he’d adopted for his brother. Maybe, somewhere deep down, it was actually a term of endearment, although he somehow doubted it. “He’s worried your gonna hurt me…”

Ben’s brow furrowed in apparent consternation at the insinuation, but he then set his fork down to express something entirely contradictory. “Maybe I am too…” The admission came out barely above a whisper. 

Callum’s hand reached across to still Ben’s, which had begun to tap absent-mindedly against the table. “I’m a big boy Ben; I get to make my own decisions about who I want in my life…” There it was again, that look of profound bewilderment sweeping across Ben’s face, that Callum instantly knew he wanted to counteract. “And I want you…”

Ben’s eyelashes appeared to flutter excessively as he fought back the well of tears in his eyes. For what was already the countless time that day, he found himself unable to convey anything of what he might hope to adequately with words, so simply turned his hand within Callum’s to run a thumb against his knuckles, then nodded towards the man’s plate. “Ya food’ll be gettin’ cold…”

Callum slipped his hand free from Ben’s, a little wrong footed by the other man’s apparent casualness, but fighting hard not to be deterred. He could feel the weight of Ben’s gaze upon him, so maintained a sense of dignified calm, even if his heart was feeling anything but. 

It was only as he finally took in the altered presentation of the food on his plate that Callum actually understood Ben’s haste to redirect his attentions. “Oh my god,” Callum spluttered out between laughter. “Is that meant to be a self-portrait, or…”  
“Reckon I’ll let you be the judge of that…” Ben grinned back, an obvious glint suddenly apparent in his eyes. 

The two men then collapsed into a fit of giggles, as Callum began a near forensic appraisal of the phallic depiction in front of him. “Well, it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve had the pleasure, but I don’t recall yer crown jewels bein’ green last time I saw ‘em…”


	155. Chapter 155

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

They’d slipped back into effortless flirtation during the remaining course of their meal: the safest of territory that they excelled in together. Callum wasn’t deluded into thinking everything between them could be fixed in the space of one afternoon, but he was content enough that progress had been made. Ben had given him honesty, & shown fortitude in delivering on it, after all.

That sort of strength of character deserved rewarding, & Callum knew Ben had a craving for almost constant physical reassurance, which wasn’t exactly proving a hardship for the elder man to provide. The spark of attraction between them remained as fierce as ever, with a near telepathic understanding between them that it would be acted on before the evening was out.

There was a real sense though too of simply revelling in being back in each other’s company: forgetting the outside world & just being themselves. Ben had always felt himself awarded that luxury within the space of Callum’s flat, & despite all that had happened, nothing in that regard had changed. 

“Hungrier than you’d thought then…” Callum made his gentle observation that Ben had managed to polish off the entirety of foodstuffs on his plate.   
No-one was more surprised about that fact then Ben himself. “Never really could say no to you to be fair, could I?” 

They both smiled in easy appreciation of that particular sentiment, knowing it was something Ben more traditionally said of Callum.   
“Ya want anythin’ else?” Callum checked as he moved to stack the plates, his motion instantly stopped by Ben placing a hand to his arm.   
“Just you…” the younger man suggested simply, capturing the other man’s gaze earnestly with his own. 

“Reckon we can make that happen…” Callum chuckled lightly, slipping his hand to Ben’s & pulling him upwards from his chair. Ben soon had the idea of where the manoeuvre was intended to head, setting himself down onto the man’s lap: legs straddling either side & faces in close proximity. Callum greeted the man’s presence with a tender kiss to his lips. 

“Cannot believe I almost let go of this…” Ben admitted softly, running his fingers through Callum’s hair, which had been loosened & softened by the sauna effect of their bath.  
“Came to ya senses in the nick of time, didn’t ya?” Callum visibly beamed in return as he nudged the bridges of their noses together. 

“Turns out you’ve got quite the magnetic force goin’ on…” Ben suggested, fingers tracing their way methodically along his man’s stubble.   
Callum quirked an eyebrow. “Proper babe magnet me, ain’t I?” he offered in amusement.  
“Like you have absolutely no idea…” Ben agreed, tempting a brief kiss between their lips that soon settled into something more sustained, eliciting a quiet moan of contented pleasure from the younger man. 

“Bed?” Callum managed to get the question out on a heated breath, recognising that sparks of passion could ignite between them at any moment.   
“Bed…” Ben agreed with a fervent nod, wriggling himself out of the man’s lap into a standing position. “Ya even gonna let these plates keep ‘til mornin’ in honour of my return…” He couldn’t resist a playful dig at his boyfriend’s tidy nature.  
“Special occasion, innit?” Callum grinned as he rose to his feet. “So yeah, they can definitely keep ‘til mornin’…”

They both then stood in silence for a moment, simply taking in & appreciating the sight of each other: Ben still in rapt confusion that someone as good as Callum could want him in his life; Callum in unwavering assurance that they remained in this together. The latter could see the seeds of doubt trying to sew their way into Ben’s mind though, so spoke up to break the quiet before they could take hold. “Only gone & regained the double bedroom as my own, ain’t I?” he offered with a shrewd smile. 

“You’ve thrown Uncle Fester out of it once & for all?” That revelation certainly peaked an interest from Ben. “How’d you manage it?”  
“Sorted it the only reasonable way two adults could…” Callum advised cheerily, reaching to combine their hands together in a hold.   
“What, a fist fight?” Ben suggested, remaining intrigued.  
“Told ya before, ain’t I?” Callum chuckled, running his thumb softly along Ben’s knuckles. “I’m a lover, not a fighter, me…”

Ben shuffled his body in closer & reached up on tiptoes to hold his mouth to his man’s. “What, so you loved him into submission?” he suggested through whispered breath between their lips. “That what you’re plannin’ on doin’ to me too?”

Callum grinned into the renewed contact between them. “That what ya want me to do?” He briefly captured Ben’s lower lip between those of his own & nipped at it lightly.   
Ben traced his tongue along his lip once Callum had finished toying with it. “Reckon it might take a fair bit of lovin’…” he eventually suggested with a teasing smile.  
“Which I happen to be well up for…” Callum assured without falter.  
“Mmm,” Ben agreed, his hand cupping gently between them at the developing bulge in Callum’s boxers. “So I sense…”

Callum stole an impatiently pecked kiss from his man’s lips. “Bed,” he repeated again, this time a little gruffly. “Now…”  
Ben wasn’t for budging though, loitering in their hold to enjoy another kiss, then lingering teasingly away from it to look Callum in the eye. “You’ve gotta tell me first. How’d you persuade Uncle Fester to give up that double bed?” 

He leant in once again, this time depositing small kisses along Callum’s jaw, pausing agonisingly between each one to look the taller man in the eye, with each subsequent kiss becoming ever more insistent. “That gloriously spacious double bed that we could be getting up to all sorts in if you’d just answer my question…”

It was as Ben’s mouth began working its way down Callum’s neck that the elder man finally conceded. “Alright, alright, I’ll tell ya…”  
“Hmm…” Ben didn’t relent from his actions, his voice vibrating against Callum’s skin.  
“We played rock, paper, scissors…” Callum’s hands moved to rifle their way through Ben’s hair, applying a gentle pressure that pushed the contact of Ben’s mouth deeper into him. “Best of three…”

Ben ceased all movement at that revelation, just as Callum was threatening to melt into his touch. “Of course you did…” Ben snickered in amusement, while shaking his head in admiring disbelief. “Of course you bloody did…” There really was little else he could say in response, so Ben simply sunk his lips back into caressing at Callum’s neck, mouthing out further words as he did. “There really is no other man quite like you Callum Highway…No other man…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I can lay my bugbear to rest over who has which bedroom in the Highway flat - nailed it! This actually seems to fit perfectly in respect of canon timing, because we see Ben walking out of the double room just ahead of Callum's kidnapping.


	156. Chapter 156

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Ben stalled having led Callum into the bedroom, suddenly uncertain of himself in what seemed like peculiarly uncharted territory. He felt an intruder in a place that was altogether too good for him, & stared pensively at the bed, unsure that he was worthy of a place within it. 

A comforting pair of arms encircled his waist reassuringly from behind. "Any particular reason we're loiterin' here & makin' the room look untidy?" Callum teased softly, pulling Ben's body in tight to his & resting his chin on top of his head. There was no impatience or intolerance in that most simplistic of actions; just sensitivity.

Ben leant deeper into the welcome contact & sighed. "You really are sure you still want this? You make me wanna be better, but what if I just end up draggin' ya down?"

"Ain't gonna happen," Callum returned defiantly. Warm, constant breath whispering against the shorter man's scalp.

Ben allowed his eyes to drift shut, content in their embrace as he rested his hands on the other man's. "How can ya be so certain?"

"Because you won't let it happen," Callum explained simply. There was no threat in his tone, just a sense of absolute certainty.

Ben's eyes reopened as he considered just how in awe he was of the man in whose hold he stood. Slowly, so as not to break their connection, he turned within Callum's arms to face him.

"I was wrong, ya know..." Ben suggested quietly, raising his arms to drape them over the man's shoulders.  
Callum raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Oh; how so?"

"That thing I said to ya once, about kindness bein' a weakness..." Ben sidled his weight in closer, leant up a little on his tiptoes, & pecked a kiss between their lips. "It's actually a strength, & an incredibly sexy one at that..."

Callum smiled into the soft kiss they began to fall into. "Definitely not feelin' tired any more then, no?"  
"Wide awake," Ben chuckled, nuzzling individual kisses first down Callum's jaw, then onto his neck in continuation of what had previously been. "Got meself a bit of a developin' situation similar to yours as it goes..." 

Callum couldn't suppress a giggle at the ticklish sensation of Ben's touch, but was determined to voice a thought between them. "You tellin' me now that kindness is actually a turn on?"  
Ben's lips paused in the midst of the latest kiss he was teasing to the taller man’s neck. "When it comes from you, most definitely..."

Callum relocated a hand to place it at his man's chin, gently guiding it upwards so they could look at one another. "Sexy as hell when it’s returned by you too..."  
Ben knew in that instant he was a goner, gazing up into Callum’s eyes & wanting nothing more than to lose himself within them. There was a wrong here that suddenly he yearned to put right. “Tonight babe…” he smiled admiringly. “I’m takin’ care of you for a change…” 

Drawing one arm back from Callum’s shoulder, he let the fingers of that hand temptingly drag their way down the front of his t-shirt, a progress that was silently charted by the lust-filled eyes of both men. As Ben began to tug at the base of the shirt to tease it away from his man’s body, a smile of mischievous serenity swept across his face, while Callum simply swallowed down hard on the lump that was forming in his throat.


	157. Chapter 157

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot off the press...

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Ben paused in his motion, mouth mere inches from Callum's chin, exhaling hot, shallow breaths that wisped along the man's stubble while he stared deep into Callum's sparkling blue eyes.

Callum looked back at Ben with equal intensity, offering the slightest quirk of his head to one side, in demonstration he was inquisitive, but not especially keen to shatter the exquisite silence between them.

Ben's gaze seemed little short of adoring, as if an unheralded thought was forming in his brain. He lay near prone on top of Callum, bodies touching at multiple points, heat radiating at their midriffs, even though Ben remained towelled in his dressing gown, his legs part exposed where the gown had begun to ride its way upwards.

"I don't tell you often enough just how stunning you are..." Struck by the inspiration to speak, Ben surrendered his praise, scattering tiny kisses along his man's jaw line, maintaining eye contact all the while.

"And you thought this was the best time to stop what you were doin' & start tellin' me that?" Callum could only chuckle out in frustration, his hands splayed at Ben's buttocks, guiding the man's weight down deeper onto him.

Ben shot out a look of incredulity that immediately softened to a delicious smile illuminated by glinting eyes. "Busy tryin' to seduce ya here, in case you hadn't noticed..."

Callum had been fully divested of his clothing before they'd reached the bed, & Ben had so far spent an achingly thorough twenty minutes traversing every inch of his man's body with caressing nips, sucks & kisses. 

Callum inclined his head upwards from the pillow, chasing after Ben's lips with his own. "Reckon ya succeeded in seducin' me quite a while back, as it goes.. "

The younger man let himself succumb to a lingering kiss between them for a moment, but soon retreated from it, resting a delicate finger & thumb to Callum's chin, & pushing him back down onto the pillow, his own upper body weight following on down.

Littering short, soft kisses about Callum's face, Ben offered further explanation through a breathy whisper. "Let's say I'm wantin' to cherish ya then..."

The warmth of his breath in such close proximity sent a shiver of heat down Callum's spine. Ben meanwhile gently pressed their mouths together & dealt several prising kisses that drew Callum's lips apart & invited their tongues to dance softly together.

This was a leisurely, luxuriating pace being set by Ben; yet another brand new sensation he was giving to his man. 

There'd been the coaxing patience he'd shown during Callum's first time, & the playful passion of plentiful times after that. Tonight though seemed so tender: so close to another emotion neither man seemed likely to acknowledge: one out of fear of rejection; the other out of fear of losing control.

Callum's eyes, which had slipped shut as he dwelt in the sensuality of their kiss, reopened to find them met with Ben's still looking at him directly. 

This wasn't their usual style either, but as a warm smile toying at the edge of Ben's eyes greeted the reawakening of Callum's, the elder man began to sense what was being transmitted unspoken between them:

This was Ben's own unique manner of compensation for the uncompromising demands he had made of Callum during their base reunion at the Car Lot. Everything he hadn't been able to speak then was now being said through the kindness & sincerity of touch & expression alone.

Ben it seemed was revelling in a newfound freedom of selflessness, & Callum wasn't sure he'd ever wanted his man more.


	158. Chapter 158

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A polite advisory that anyone with an aversion to the smutty side of things may wish to give this chapter a miss. These boys will get up to shenanigans...

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Callum trailed his lithe fingers up Ben's thighs for what was now the countless of times, still edging the skirt of his man's dressing gown a little further away each time, while Ben remained straddled across him, raised on his own haunches. 

As the slide of Ben's digits moved their way effortlessly deeper into Callum, so his nails dug a little deeper into the meat of Ben's thighs; teased their reach a little more tantalisingly for Ben's balls.

Moving to embed his fingers deeper into his man, Ben leant his body weight backwards, allowing himself deeper penetration still: leaving Callum powerless, save to arch his back, & look his man full in the eyes, as he absorbed more of the fullness within.

Callum expelled a breath of shuddering air, desperate to voice a query, even so. "Why's..." He had to pause to gather his vocal chords back from something that sounded overly-strained. "Why's that dressing gown still on ya?"

Ben gave a satisfied sigh that ground his weight deeper onto Callum; his fingers ever further in. "Maybe b'cos no-one's taken it off me..." he eventually suggested, following through by biting down expectantly on his lip.

Callum didn't need to be invited twice, drawing their combined gaze downwards to look at Ben's waistline. With an effortless move, Callum then took one end of the gown's tie & pulled it loose.

He could already see the follow-on question being asked of him by Ben's eyes, so acquiesced without words. Draping the belt loosely across his man's shoulders, Callum tugged gently forwards, pulling Ben's head down to his. 

Their lips met together with a groan of surprise from Callum, & a moan of delight from Ben, as their change of position brought about deeper penetration by the younger man's digits again.

"Baby..." It was a term of endearment sighed loosely from Callum's mouth that told Ben his man was attuned highly to his efforts. 

"Babe..." Ben infinitely agreed, sinking his hips lower, prompting them to grind slowly against each other.

Callum intensified their kiss, large hands holding Ben's head firmly to his own. He let his fingers toy with locks of his man's hair for a while, then eased his hands down Ben's neck & onto his shoulders, to begin slipping the gown from his torso.

Ben couldn't resist a soft moan of pleasure escaping at the feel of his man's hands roaming their way up & down his biceps. Feeling suddenly restricted by the gown, he slid his fingers out from Callum to join his boyfriend in being fully divested of all clothing.

He didn't miss the flash of disappointment cross Callum's features at the sudden sense of emptiness, so swiftly sought to counteract it. "Ain't gonna leave ya hangin' for long..." Ben assured, pressing sloppy kisses to the man's neck, while his fingers worked double time at extracting & coating themselves generously with more lube.

Ben swiftly made good on his promise, adding a third finger to Callum for ever-increased penetration this time. As the elder man arched his head back against the pillow, so Ben relished in the greater access it afforded his mouth to the stubbled skin on Callum's neck.

He could feel the intoxicated writhe of Callum's body beneath him; the associated rise in body temperature transferring onto his own skin. "So hot & tight & sexy..." Ben admired at a hoarse whisper, as he again began to descend his boyfriend's body, licking then kissing a trail down his chest as he went.

While his fingers probed effortlessly at the bundle of nerves deep within Callum, causing the man to steadily lose himself beneath him, Ben nudged & nuzzled his mouth & nose delicately at Callum's manhood, teasing the occasional lick to its already leaking head.

Having claimed a hint of Callum's essence on his tongue, Ben propelled himself back up fully onto his haunches, fingers working their way ever deeper, ever more satisfyingly into his man.

"Always taste so good babe..." Ben praised with a wicked smile, as he licked at his lips in the realisation Callum's gaze was still firmly upon him. It was hooded over now, by the dark intensity of lust, but Callum was still intently watching his man's every move, as if not wanting to miss a moment of being with him.

Ben bit down against his lip as his own vision temporarily lost itself in the oasis of Callum's eyes; time apparently suspended as all each man could focus on was the rise & fall of their breathing, & the deep sentiment there in each other's eyes.

Ben gulped down hard against a lump in his throat he hadn't even known to be forming; reluctantly drawing his gaze away from Callum's eyes to trail it appreciatively down the man's body. He wasn't used to losing out in the intensity stakes, but knew Callum had won in that moment. 

_You make me wanna be better..._the words echoed around Ben's soul, as he let out a juddering sigh & hoped to god he could achieve that aspiration for the sake of this most glorious man lay so achingly responsive beneath him. It was all he could do in that moment to lay his free hand to him, & caress a flattened palm longingly up & down his chest.

Callum was sensing the resurgence of self-doubt in his man, & wasn't about to entertain it, least of all now in their sexual overture. Possessive, claiming Ben was a turn on in bed - just as was adoring, attentive Ben - but not so the man who now looked a little trapped in his own thoughts.

Callum needed to get him back with the programme, so reached to cup both of them together in his one large hand, & deliver a timely combined stroke to both of their egos.

It had the desired effect, as Ben instantly snapped from his reverie at the touch. "Get you, with all the sexy moves Mr Highway..." he grinned wryly.  
"Didn't want ya forgettin' I was 'ere, did I?" Callum chuckled affectionately. hand still toying at them in combination.

Ben was done for. "As if I could ever forget you..." He surged forward to connect a hungry kiss, all teeth & impatient tongues; the subtlety of previous kisses forgotten for now.

With the weight of Ben's body now trapping the friction of Callum's hand between them, they buried themselves in the sheer promise of the moment's physicality: Callum's hand pumping at them in unison; Ben's fingers thrusting within his man.

They kissed with a passion & fire that spoke solely of extinguishing the anguish & frustration of recent times: grunts of guttural desire emanating from Ben as he tried to clamber ever deeper onto & into his man; whimpers of want bursting from Callum as he threatened to become entirely undone.

Somewhere in the midst of their heated exchange, Ben fumbled his free hand about unsighted around the bedside cabinet, eventually finding his quarry. Without ever disrupting any of the three main points of contact between them, he simply placed the small foil packet on Callum's heaving chest, & left it there as an unopened question between them.


	159. Chapter 159

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those with an aversion to smut, may choose to avert their eyes for this chapter, although it is a low-level warning...sometimes there are important conversations to be had even in the midst of passion...
> 
> I hope what's going on here actually makes sense when read; it does to me, but then I know what I'm trying to write! 🤞

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Callum recognised they were rapidly taking each other to the edge of the abyss, so ceased the jagged urgency of his hand movement, & relented slowly from their kiss. "We ain't even gonna be needin' that rubber if we carry on much longer at that sort of pace..." he chuckled out through laboured breaths of exertion.

It seemed to take a moment for the message to even get through to Ben's lust-addled brain, but he too reluctantly stalled his movements. "What can I say?" he gave back with an enigmatic wink. "I'm deeply into you..."

Callum rolled his eyes at the crude innuendo, but gave into it despite himself. "Just so happens I'm big into you too..." Sliding his hand away from its position between them, he placed it to Ben's side & began trailing loose fingers up & down the man's ribcage.

"Feels good babe..." Ben moaned into a kiss he began to rejuvenate between them. "Could happily lose myself in you forever..." Accidentally on purpose forgetting Callum's words of warning, Ben's fingers began to toy within him again.

"Ben..." Callum attempted a word of stern warning, but found himself falling short at the sensations enveloping him. Where he'd threatened to lose himself though, he swiftly found himself again. "Ben..." he reiterated with greater conviction this time, clasping his hands to his man's face to encourage him to look at him.

They exchanged meaningful eye contact for a few seconds, each understanding what the other was trying to transmit. Knowing it was he who had raised the question in the first place, Ben relented first, easing his fingers from Callum, then cupping hands to his, offering a brief peck of reassurance between their lips.

"I didn't..." he began quietly, then pushed his upper body weight upwards of Callum, to kneel over him once more. With a gentle stroke of forefinger to chest, he attempted his explanation again. "I didn't make it clear enough last time that you had a choice...There is always a choice..."

"I know that," Callum quietly assured, shuffling his weight beneath Ben to prop himself up a little closer to vertical. They both observed in silence as Callum's change of position caused the small foil packet to cascade its way into his lap. "And tonight I'm choosin' to use..." 

Callum gathered the packet back up between his fingers & sought out one of Ben's hands to intertwine them with. 

"And that ain't because I've got any doubts; it's just because that's one of those big grown up conversations we should be havin' some other time than when yer perched in my lap givin' me that sort of double eyeful..." He nodded in the direction of Ben's arousal, with a smirk of amusement playing on his face.

Ben scrutinised him closely for a second, as if trying to decipher some hidden code, before he too let his features relax back into playful. "God, I love it when you talk dirty.. " Rocking his weight forward & rubbing up against his man, Ben teased a kiss to Callum's lips, then jaw, then neck.

Between them all the while, his fingers made short work of tearing open the foil, until Callum's hand intervened & his voice spoke softly above Ben. "I'll take that honour if you'll be so kind..."


	160. Chapter 160

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter to give a miss to if smut isn't you thing, & I thoroughly appreciate it isn't everyone's. 😊
> 
> If you do opt to skip this chapter though, please do scroll down & take in the final four paragraphs, as they are somewhat paramount in my version of events. No smut contained there, I promise! 😇
> 
> If you are reading all the way through, don't go being tempted now to take a sneak peak at the final few paragraphs first - for their fullest effect they really should be read in the context of the entire chapter...
> 
> Once again, I am proven incapable of writing a short sex scene, so probably best not to set voyage into this one without time on your hands...
> 
> Seriously, I don't know where any of this comes from 😊

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

Ben emitted a shuddering breath, leaning back as Callum caressed & rolled the condom along his length. He turned his arms to place his palms flat behind him, bracing his weight as he pressed hands to Callum's legs, stroking his thumbs against the individual hairs upon them.

As Callum smoothed lube up then down, repeated countless times, all Ben could do was switch his gaze from his man's face to hands, then back again, nearly coming apart at the seams at the sight of Callum's involuntary flick of his tongue.

Ben didn't crave words, let alone conversation though, opting not to pass comment on just how wild Callum was driving his levels of desire; tipping his head instead to the ceiling in silent thanks.

He started to sway his lower half into his man's rhythm, returning to an upright position to grasp Callum's head in his hands & press kisses to his hair line. 

Callum, apparently satisfied the other man was all lubed up & ready to go, relented from his touch to instead spread his hands across Ben's back, fingering featherweight touches along his spine. Ben's entire body juddered at that sensation alone.

They stayed like that, all but as one, for some time: enthralled by every press & touch between them. Gradually, their own body weights, combined with the expectation of their desire, led them to slide back down the sheets, Callum near prone against them once more while Ben remained atop him.

They were beyond the phase in their relationship where they needed any words for this part, both able to read every sentiment of trust & want & consent in each other's eyes alone.

With unspoken commitment, Ben eased himself into Callum, taking his time & stilling for precious seconds between advances. The tortuous progress ecstasy & agony for both all in one.

Dipping his upper body weight slowly towards his man, Ben sought out a kiss between them, as he gradually sunk deeper within. The kiss effortlessly deep: tongues intertwining, with the luxury of all the time in the world.

There was much that could have been said in the moment, yet Ben for once was lost for words: all-encompassed by the blissful white heat of their union.

From the slowest of positional changes within, Ben's hands searched out Callum's from his sides & guided their linked arms upwards, until Callum's lay to rest gently against the pillows above their heads.

With their hands clasped securely, & his weight pressing gentle downward strokes, Ben began to smooth subtle kisses to Callum's upper arms: from armpit to elbow up one, then vice versa down the other.

Callum writhed in exquisite pleasure at each & every touch of Ben's lips, or dip of his hips. With every contact made, a blush of pink rose a little higher up Callum's chest, then neck, then face.

Constrained from volunteering any meaningful touch of his own, save the occasional stroke of a loose thumb to Ben's knuckles, all Callum could do was allow himself to be consumed by every sensation between them: the scratch of Ben's stubble: the heat radiating between their chests, already moistened with sweat; the gentle rise & fall of Ben's stride.

With near impossible weightlessness Ben's mouth began to trail away from Callum's arm to engage their mouths once more: tongues rejoining in effortless interplay.

Ben's fingers loosened their grasp within Callum's, then with unspoken insistence, teased the elder man's hand to grip the bed's grated headboard instead. His hands lingered at Callum's wrists momentarily, teetering at the pulse points within, sensing the beat matching with that of his own heart.

Their lips gently parted, swollen & reddened by the sustenance of their kiss: a sight of Ben that Callum had long-since adored from previous encounters. "I don't tell you often enough how stunning you are..." he repeated his boyfriend's assertion of earlier.

Ben shook his head in mock disapproval, then sunk his mouth to Callum's neck. "Don't't wanna hear..." he sucked softly at the skin, "another word from you..."

There was something so reassuring in the silence between them, Ben was finding. For the first time in as long as he could recall, all his mind was filled with was ways to give pleasure to his man. And by giving pleasure, subconsciously also giving thanks.

Callum ceded to Ben's request, the only noises now present in the room the uninhibited moans of ecstasy from either man, accompanied by the slow creak of the bed beneath them.

Ben began to glide his way smoothly down Callum's body: fingers & mouth seeking out every inch of available skin to treasure & adore. His stroke never faltering from deep & slow all the while.

There was a tenderness present that Callun knew only he was fortunate to be treated to. His eyes gazed into Ben's in wonderment, as the man gathered himself up onto his haunches & rocked himself ever deeper, placing sensitive hands to Callum's hips for better leverage. 

Absorbed in his rhythm, Ben had a faraway look in his eyes, & seemed as at ease as Callum could ever remember. Gone was the haunted appearance of recent times, replaced by something altogether more serene.

Although the tempo of their union remained slow & unhurried, Callum could feel its depth & fulfillment ever increasing, so gripped tighter to the headboard above him.

Ben's brow was becoming freckled with beads of sweat generated by his effort, & a significant part of Callum longed to reach out & brush the moisture from his face. An even greater part of him though wanted to absorb & enthrall at every move Ben was commanding within him, so he let the matter be.

An involuntary shudder of pure desire ripped through Callum's body at the combined effect of the slow-burning strain within & the glorious sight of Ben above.

It was enough to bring the younger man back around from his near trance, unleashing a lustful smile that connected all the way to his eyes at the vision of Callum beneath him: outstretched, yearning & utterly divine.

With a dip of his upper torso, Ben leant onto Callum's manhood & blew a long, hot breath to its tip, earning an instant groan of satisfaction in return.

Ben wasn't exactly about to let the pleasure slide from there, sealing his lips onto Callum & oscillating gently at his length.

Callum writhed indulgently beneath, suddenly not knowing where to put himself, all consumed as he was by Ben. His pull against the headboard becoming a little more pronounced with every touch unleashed from above. 

Experience soon told Ben Callum was nearing his peak, but he held greater plans for their crescendo this night, so slid his lips slowly away, scattering a few final kisses as he did.

Righting himself back to vertical, Ben delivered several deliberately long thrusts as he stared deep into Callum's eyes, sharing between them an abandoned smile of happiness.

Ben slid his hands to his man's stomach & braced his weight solidly to them, allowing them to share a moment of penetration that came from near levitation. 

With the softest of smiles, Ben then eased himself back down to lie prone atop Callum, uttering one simple word as he did so. "Stunning..."

Callum greeted Ben's return to the closest of proximity with a change of position, mindful that if Ben unleashed any further Tantric dexterities, the headboard was in danger of being ripped clean off the bed.

Clasping his hands to Ben's waist, he lifted his legs to link them together at the back of Ben's thighs. This was the beginnings of an embrace Ben in particular always loved, as it allowed them to move & exist as one, with the sensation of him being entirely enveloped by Callum's strong frame.

Callum held still momentarily, allowing Ben to lift & hold his own body weight fully on his arms, positioned either side of his man, & they then began to rise & fall in time with each other.

Ben's thrusts remained long & languid, but now with a more staccato tempo than before. Gazes locked onto one another, as they took occasional turns at nuzzling mouths or noses together with warm, wet kisses. Callum running his hands tantalising along Ben's spine.

It wasn't ever a stance they were destined to maintain for long, requiring a peak of physical stamina from Ben, while bringing them both to the edge of climax. 

Sweat began to form freestyle from their combined body heat, while the compression of Callum's cock between them served only to intensify the need further.

Ben could feel the imminent rise of his own orgasm, so ground out several achingly deep strokes within Callum, simultaneously arching his weight downwards onto their stomachs to apply friction to Callum's pulsing manhood.

Those last few efforts were all it took for Ben to achieve his aim of them releasing together. He rode them through their combined climax, streaks of Callum's cum lining their torsos while Ben's own surged into the condom deep within his man.

With a final grunt of spent exertion, Ben collapsed his weight down onto Callum, nestling his head into his shoulder blade & panting heated breaths against the skin of his neck. Callum lay equally exhilarated, chest heaving with long, satisfied expulsions of air.

They just lay like that for a while: each man apparently too dazed to talk. Eventually, reluctantly, Ben dragged himself away, slipping his expended, softened cock from Callum, & tying off the condom to discard it in the bin.

While up & about on his feet, Ben drew the curtains to block out the outside world, & retrieved a wet wipe from the dresser. Callum watched on silently, appreciating Ben's physical form even as it was now shrouded in darkness. 

With a series of delicate presses of the wipe to Callum's body, Ben cleared away the remnants of their passion, only affording the same attention to himself as an afterthought. Having tossed the wipe to one side, he then clambered back onto the bed to nestle in close beside Callum, resting his head on his man's chest to absorb its consistent rise & fall, letting his eyes drift shut to focus on the motion.

Only then did Callum finally speak, as he tenderly ran his fingers through the other man's hair. "Ben Mitchell," he addressed soft & quiet. "Did you just make love to me?"

Ben stayed impossibly still, save for a slight turn of his head against Callum's chest. "What, me?" he questioned sleepily. "Nah..." Just visible for Callum to see though was the play of a contradictory smile at the corner of his lips.

As exhaustion began to claim & take Ben's being over, Callum lulled him towards sleep with a gentle whisper. "I love you too, by the way..."


	161. Chapter 161

## Unseen scene of 24/01/20

"Y'alright?" Callum stirred in the darkness to the sensation of stuttered movement in his arms. Ben's bones, which had relented into relaxation in their post-coital haze, reassured by the muscle memory that he was in a place of love & safety, suddenly seemed rigid & tense once more.

"Go back to sleep..." Ben mumbled his best attempt at casual, but it emerged through the silence of the night with an obvious edge of anxiety to it.  
"Are ya ok?" Callum pressed, firmly but calmly, again; certain he already knew the answer in reality. He could feel a racing beat from the man's heart & a clamminess to his skin.

"Had a nightmare, that's all..." Ben conceded with a shrug. "Go back to sleep babe..."  
"Ya havin' many of those?" Callum gently guided the duvet up the younger man's body to guard against a chill, ensuring his hold on the man never faltered.  
No response came, so Callum asserted again. "Open & honest from now on, remember?" 

He felt a quivering breath from Ben flutter against his chest.  
"Fairly often," Ben admitted at a whisper. "Whenever I actually manage to get some sleep really..."  
Callum dipped his head to breathe warm reassuring breaths to his man's scalp & secured him within his hold a little more firmly. "We get through this together from now on”.

He felt Ben's jaw jut out to one side, apparently biting down on the inside of his mouth in unease.  
"Don't deserve this..." the self-loathing words erupted through the silence in hushed tones. "Don't deserve you..."

Callum's hold remained unfaltering. "Yes you do..." He scattered kisses to Ben's forehead & hairline. "Yes you do...You are loved, & deservin' of love, & I'm gonna keep remindin' you of that til ya let yourself believe it". 

Ben tipped his thumb to his mouth & nibbled at its nail. After a few cautious seconds, he'd plotted out the words in his mind that he wanted to speak. "I know I'm loved, & to put the record straight from Christmas, I do want your love..." He glanced his face upwards to Callum's, anxious to see how his words were received. Even in the darkness, he could see a glistening in the elder man's eyes that matched his own.  
"Just as well then that all I want to do is love you then ain't it?" Callum dipped a kiss to the bridge of his nose.

There were words still unsaid here, they both knew; particularly from Ben's side. Callum wouldn't push that issue though, sensing they came a little closer to being spoken with every day that passed, particularly after Ben's attentiveness earlier that evening.

"Missed this so badly..." Ben's utterance at a confessional whisper was as close to that sentiment as he could get in the moment, & Callum privately treasured the effort. He knew an admission of being in love had to build slowly in Ben, mixed up as it was in hang ups about trust, guilt & absolution.  
"I missed this too baby," Callum assured softly, fingers starting to lace their way into Ben's hair.

Exhaling a long breath that he hadn’t even known he was holding, Ben pressed a protracted, tender kiss to his man’s chest, then peppered about a number of tiny kisses in follow up around it. There was nothing vaguely sexual about any of their touches; just a desire to reconnect to one another & reaffirm the sentiment of every word spoken between them.

“Let’s see if we can get ya a few more hours of sleep shall we?” Callum soothed quietly, his lips pressed against Ben’s temple. “You, me & sleep: sounds good, yeah?"  
"Sounds good," Ben let his eyes drift shut to the rhythmic pull of Callum's fingers through his hair. "Sounds so good..."  
"So sleep then..." Callum affirmed softly. "I've got ya..."


	162. Chapter 162

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft Ballum alert... 💕❤❤

## Unseen scene of 25/01/20

Callum stirred again sometime later to find Ben sleeping soundly beside him. They had worked themselves out of their embrace during sleep, but the other man was still nestled in close to his side, in what was a perfect fit. 

Callum resisted the all-powerful urge to run his fingers along Ben's skin, not wanting to wake him from his slumber. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, as if his worries & troubles had grown equally exhausted & had called a temporary truce.

There were so many hopes Callum held for this man, but right now restful sleep took precedence over them all. Callum lay still for a few further minutes, appreciating the calm of the moment, then slowly rolled himself out from the mattress, gathering up & dressing into his shorts & t-shirt strewn on the floor as he went. In a final act of consideration, he lay out his dressing gown on the bed for Ben to find when he woke.

Callum hadn't been sure what he'd been expecting, let alone hoped, for their first night back together, but the previous night had definitely surpassed all expectations: he still ached from their passion, not to mention Ben's tender compassion.

Pulling the bedroom door softly closed behind him, Callum looked around, as if trying to find his centre of gravity without Ben's immediate presence. Lesser men would label him weak, a failure, for such thoughts of solitude, but Callum, & he firmly suspected now Ben too, knew utterly different.

A growl from his stomach alerted Callum to its hunger, simultaneously reminding him of the efforts he needed to maintain in ensuring Ben was now eating properly.

He headed in the direction of the fridge, beginning to scour its contents for ideas, just as he heard the slam of the flat's door & heavy footsteps stomping their way up the stairs.

"Don't answer yer bleedin' phone or anythin', will ya..." Stuart grumbled in the instant he'd ascended into the flat itself.  
"And a hearty good morning to you too, brother..." Callum chuckled, turning his attention away from foodstuffs in favour of his sibling.

"Half a bleedin' hour I've been waitin' around downstairs, thinkin' ya might at least bother to respond to my messages..." Stuart clearly had a bee in his bonnet.

"Er, don't actually think my phone's switched on," Callum scratched at his head & looked about the flat for confirmation of that suspicion. "Yer 'ere now though Stu, so what was it ya wanted?"

"What was it I wanted?" Stuart looked definitively unamused. "What was it I wanted? I dunno, maybe confirmation from my doughnut of a brother that I was allowed back in me own flat after I was told to make meself scarce yesterday?"

Callum looked suddenly sheepish. "Yeah, sorry about that Stu, we just needed ourselves some space..."

"Rainie reckoned the pair of ya just wanted the place to yerselves to be at it like rabbits..." Stuart visibly shuddered at the thought, casting a nervous glance around for anything untoward. "Didn't really fancy walkin' in unsuspecting on anythin' like that, thank you very much".

Callum chortled at the suggestion. "Never had ya down as a prude bruv..." Realising the fridge door was still wide open, he took eggs from it, then pushed the door shut.

"Ain't a prude bruv," Stuart countered. "Just really don't need to see my little brother up to, ya know, THAT..." He screwed his nose up in clear discomfort. "Where is the little runt anyway? Done another flit on ya already?"

Callum met his brother's reference to his boyfriend with an icy glare. "Ben; his name's Ben, & he's still asleep if ya must know..."  
"Cos what, his little nap on our sofa yesterday afternoon weren't enough for him?" Stuart concluded presumptuously.

"Nah, because I wore him out again last night, actually..." Callum instantly decided the only way to silence his brother's criticisms was by fighting fire with fire.

Stuart clamped his hands either side of his head to block out hearing anything further of his brother's escapades. "My ears! My ears..." he complained, again distorting his features into something disapproving. "Only came home to get changed for work, not hear about your..." He fumbled midair for a suitable word. "Antics..."

"Well just go quietly, yeah bruv..." Callum relented to save Stuart's blushes. "Like I said, Ben's still asleep & I'd like it to stay..."

"Quiet as a church mouse me, promise..." Stuart cut him off mid sentence, while heading in the direction of his room. 'Won't even know I'm 'ere..." 

The final words had barely left his lips before Stuart gave his bedroom door a forcible slam behind him, shaking the near foundations of the flat to its core.

"Thanks for nothin' then Stu..." Callum lamented, casting a brief glance in the direction of the master bedroom, hoping Ben somehow hadn't been disturbed. With a wistful sigh, privately acknowledging that Stuart had most likely even woken the dead in the Parlour beneath them, Callum turned his focus to the eggs. 

Mere moments later, he heard the familiar opening creak of his own bedroom door, accompanied by the slow, shuffling emergence of bare feet. 

"Uncle Fester's back in the fold then..." Ben's groggy voice emerged.  
"Sorry about that," Callum glanced to look across to his boyfriend with an easy smile. "I did ask him to be quiet so he wouldn't wake ya..."  
Ben just shrugged his shoulders. "Was awake anyway; can't sleep without you there, can I..."

The inference hung between them as Callum considered just how much he adored the simplicity of such moments: Ben with his bed hair, lightly tousled by sleep; dressing gown secured snuggly; an aura of softness around him as he'd only just emerged from his slumber.

"How d'ya like your eggs, gorgeous?" Callum chuckled warmly, feeling firmly in his element.  
Ben, unable to resist the opportunity presented to him, sidled his way across to his lover. "In the morning?" he wrapped his arms around Callum's waist as he whispered over his shoulder. "I like mine with a kiss..."


	163. Chapter 163

## Unseen scene of 25/01/20

Callum savoured the press of Ben's lips at his neck, then ventured to speak again, raising a hand to caress it behind himself against Ben's stubble.. "Hard boiled, or soft boiled?"

"Hard or soft?" Ben quibbled playfully, tightening his arms a little around his man's waist & continuing to lavish his skin with kisses. "Ya seriously askin' me that?"

Callum leant deeper back into the embrace, enjoying its warmth & affection, then tried again. "Runny yolk or not? Do ya wanna dip yer soldiers?"

"Mmmm," Ben could only adore the man's naivety in leaving himself so perfectly open to suggestive one-liners. "Always wanna dip my soldier babe..." he teased while nuzzling at Callum's neck.

Callum grumbled out his frustration, but still couldn't resist a chuckle at his boyfriend's games. "You gonna turn everythin' I say into an innuendo this mornin'?" Cupping his hands over Ben's to loosen the grip he was held in a little, Callum turned within the hold to face his man

"Nah," Ben smirked, "got much bigger plans for us this morning..." Emphasis duly placed on the word _bigger_.  
"Yeah?" Callum brushed their lips together as Ben's arms moved to hang over his shoulders. "Do tell..."

Their mouths remained tantalisingly close as Ben whispered out his response, heated breaths tickling at Callum's face. "Rather show thann tell..."

Ben made sure Callum's eyes were locked with his, then drew their combined gaze down to his midriff, where he tugged at the belt of his gown to loosen it.

"Ben!" Callum swiftly chastised, albeit half-heartedly. "Stu's only in the next room..." He swallowed down firmly, nonetheless, at the appetising sight of Ben's morning arousal.

"Ya think he wants a look too?" Ben smirked gleefully. "Don't share this vision with just anyone ya know...despite what the rumours say..."  
Callum's tongue peeped out to swipe involuntarily along the line of his lips.  
"Hard boiled enough for ya?" Ben raised an eyebrow suggestively, opening out the two sides of his gown to reveal ever more.

Callum moved to respond in the affirmative, but found himself distracted at the sight of his brother barrelling back out into their living space. Quick as a flash, Callum gripped at Ben's backside & pulled him in impossibly close to protect their modesty.

"Wow babe...." Ben praised breathily. "That's got ya goin', ain't it?" As he uttered the words, he encased both their bodies within the dressing gown.  
Callum only knew he wanted to silence his man against causing any further embarrassment, so captured their mouths together in a heated kiss.

"Argh," Stuart grunted at the realisation of what was before him. "My eyes; my eyes! Can you pair not get a room?" His protestations were ignored, save a dismissive wave of the hand by Callum, prompting the elder brother's swift vacation of the flat.

"Mmm," Ben laughed into their kiss. "Wish I’d known earlier this was the way to get shot of Uncle Fester..."


	164. Chapter 164

## Unseen scene of 25/01/20

"Enough!" Callum reluctantly managed to manoeuvre some space between them as he softly chortled.  
Ben gave a pout of disappointment, but no further resistance, other than his hands still linking themselves behind the taller man's neck.

"Last night..." Callum could recognise his man's disappointment, & wanted to curtail it, running a hand through his unkempt hair. "Last night was beautiful..."

"Yeah?" Ben checked cautiously.  
'Yeah," Callum affirmed softly, dipping the bridges of their noses together. "Bit of a different vibe to the previous time, at the Car Lot..." he suggested at a whispered, almost confessional, tone.

Ben appeared suddenly pensive. "I didn't ever intend for it to be quite so...intense".  
"Yeah ya did..." the elder man chuckled in demonstration of his ease with the subject, again fiddling with the shorter man's hair. "Ya had that whole sullen, silent vibe goin' on..."

"Er, says he who just walked into my office & never said a word!" Ben countered with a grin, recalling the memory through less troubled eyes for the first time.

Callum gave a light sniff of nonchalance. "Was waitin' for you to make the first move, weren't I?"  
Ben stood on the tips of his toes to sneak a kiss between them. "Bet ya weren't expectin' the first move I made though, were ya..."

Callum chased their lips back together before giving his response with a shrug. "Thought it was pretty much fifty-fifty whether you'd turf me out or jump me bones..."

"Just as well I chose the better of them two options then..." Ben smirked, closing the space between their bodies right up again & instigating a proper kiss.

Callum let himself get tangled up in the caress for a while, then gently broke away to look Ben firmly in the eye: a particular message he wanted to get across.

"It weren't too much for me..."  
Ben looked quizzical, but offered no opinion or comment.  
"It were a bit full on, some of it, but it weren't too much for me..." Callum again sought to clarify. "Last night was beautiful, & that time at the Car Lot was fire & passion. I'd go for either again..."

Ben seemed genuinely shocked by the sentiment being expressed, scrutinising Callum's features for anything that had been left unspoken. He found nothing, to both his private delight & bemusement.

"So..." he loosened his grip from around Callum's shoulders & trailed an idle finger down the man's chest. "Just for the sake of clarity then...exactly which bits wouldn't ya mind a repeat performance of?"

Callum greeted the enquiry with a smile, placing his hands lightly at Ben's hips. "Well the whole desk side of things was alright...although I ain't so sure Jay would agree if he found out..."

Ben near snorted out a laugh at the latter part of that comment. "Ain't been able to look 'im in the eye any time he's sat behind that desk since..."  
"God, if he knew..." Callum raised his eyes skywards in thanks that Jay was none the wiser.

"Wouldn't think Callum Highway was quite the sweet innocent everyone has ya down as, would he?" Ben teased, finger drawing tiny patterns across his man's chest.  
"Would just think you'd led me astray, I reckon..." Callum teased back, a glint of mischief evident in his eyes.

"Ah," Ben bit down against his bottom lip flirtatiously. "I know the truth though don't I? Mr Callum 'I'll take ya bent double over an office desk any day' Highway..."

Callum's tongue lapped out from his mouth to quench his lips as he gave the notion some thought, then he raised an eyebrow provocatively. "Office desk; kitchen table; kitchen worktop..."

As Ben's mouth dropped open in wonderment, Callum simply chuckled quietly then raised the most important item on the agenda again. "Now, how do ya like yer eggs in the mornin'? And don't even think about makin' some wise crack about the scrambled version..."


	165. Chapter 165

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With apologies that updates are likely to be few & far between this week - work calls.
> 
> Still, with the upcoming canon hiatus, that should give plentiful time for catching up...

## Unseen scene of 25/01/20

“That,” Ben smiled contentedly as he licked along his lips. “That was off the charts babe…”  
“Yeah?” Callum set his weight back gently in his chair, looking pleased as punch.   
“Great in bed & great in the kitchen…” Ben continued to grin happily. “Just the gift that keeps givin’, ain’t ya?” As he spoke, he positioned the spoon down on his now empty plate.   
“Multi-talented, ain’t I?” Callum chuckled heartily, watching on with obvious affection that his man seemed genuinely replete for the first time: there was something he wanted to broach, after all, & was sensing this might be as good a time as any to try.

“Them nightmares you’re havin’…” Prompting softly, Callum simultaneously trailed the toes of his bare foot up & down Ben’s exposed calf. He saw the instant flinch of unease flit across the younger man’s features, but stuck resolutely with it. “You can talk to me about them ya know…if it would help…”

Ben took a while before answering, as if needing to psyche himself into a response. “Ain’t as if ya don’t already know what they’re about, is it?”   
Callum allowed the both of them a moment to simply focus on & relax into the rhythmic rub of his foot. “I ain’t so interested in what happens in them; more about how they’re makin’ you feel…”

“Not sure I can take the psychoanalysis Cal…” Ben looked the other man determinedly in the eyes. “So thanks, but…”  
Callum determined not to be too disheartened at the sight of his boyfriend clamming up before him. “Just wake me next time, yeah?” Pushing himself up from the chair, he leant back down to dip a soft kiss to the man’s forehead, then began to clear away their dishes. “There’s two of us in this from now on, so ya don’t have to go through everythin’ on your own any more…”

Ben sat still & quiet: utterly floored by the extent of generosity being offered out to him. A perplexed expression swept across his face, as he struggled to absorb the sincerity that filled the room. “How do I ever begin to repay this to you?”

“Repay?” Callum looked up to query from his place at the sink. “Why would you ever…” The mystified look on his boyfriend’s face was enough to stop him from voicing the end of the question though, & his heart broke a little that the man before him was so accustomed to thinking that all acts of love or kindness had to be conditional. “You’re here…” he responded softly. “And that’s everythin’ I could ever want or ask of ya…”


	166. Chapter 166

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, back to it, now that I have that minor inconvenience called work off my agenda again! It's a real pain when it gets in the way of the important things in life...
> 
> This chapter follows on the day after the previous one - so you can basically assume the boys spent the remainder of that day in bed...Meanwhile, it's time to sneak towards a few more narrative strands...

## Unseen scene of 26/01/20

"Jesus, Ben!" Callum's face scrunched itself into a frown & he shielded it behind a forearm as he grumbled out his disapproval. "What the hell ya doin' that for?"

Ben slipped the hand holding his phone down to his side, as he engaged his boyfriend with a glare that implied he was about to state the bleeding obvious. "Tryin'a get a snap of my sexy man, ain't I..."

"Just as I make my way outta the bathroom..." Callum's brow further furrowed into something of consternation. "Really?"

"Weren't up to anythin' in there ya shouldn't of been, were ya?" Ben enquired with a suggestive smirk, before snatching the phone back to an upright position & sneaking a photo of his man, quick as a flash.

Callum simply rolled his eyes in return, at both his boyfriend's antics & crudeness. "And somehow you thought the bathroom would be the best background for the shot did ya..."

Bustling his weight into his boyfriend, Callum steered them to stand against a more agreeable backdrop. "Why ya tryin' to get a photo of me anyway?" Running a hand through his hair to check its correct composition, he then drew Ben's hand holding the phone upwards, softly encasing it in his own. "Say cheese..." he grinned, snapping a selfie of them together on his boyfriend's behalf.

Ben looked likely to protest momentarily, but snapped himself out of it. "Go again babe..." he prompted, pecking a sudden kiss to his man's jaw at the last second, while continuing to look down the lens of the phone as it captured another shot.

"Somethin' I realised the other day..." he then remarked casually, wriggling his hand free from the other man's so he could scroll through the shots they'd just taken. "I ain't really got any photos of ya..."

He paused in his explanation as he gave some consideration as to whether any of the photos passed muster, quietly following up with the sort of comment he never thought he'd hear himself say. "Want one to go in me wallet; pride of place alongside that photo of me & Lex you put in there..."

Callum gulped down a lump in his throat at the uninhibited emotional honesty being doled out to him. Moving stealth-like behind his man, he encircled his arms around Ben's waist & leant his chin on his shoulder so he too could view the photos. "Proper soft you..." he gently teased with a hot breath.

Ben melted a little into the reassuring strength behind him. "Just don't be givin' that secret away to anyone, yeah..."  
"Never..." Callum affirmed with a smile that transmitted through Ben's skin from the tender press of lips to his neck.

"That's a good one..." Callum then suggested softly, looking down at the first snap he'd taken of them. 'That pink backdrop brings out the sparkle in ya eyes..."

"Well there has to be some benefit to having such a garish paint job..." Ben joined back playfully. "The photo ain't any good though cos your eyes are 'alf closed..." With absolute decisiveness he deleted the picture from his phone's memory.

"Well I liked it..." Callum quietly mourned the erasing of the photo, then expelled a breath of derision at the next one before his eyes. "Well ya ain't keepin' that one; it looks like you're lickin' my face!"

"I reckon it's spontaneous, in the moment..." Ben began to wax lyrical.  
"And I repeat it looks like yer lickin' my face..." Callum wasn't for turning. "So it goes..." With similar decisiveness to that previously displayed by his boyfriend he briefly lifted a hand to tap at the delete function on screen.

"Spoilsport..." Ben lamented gruffly, as they set upon considering the final photographic offering before them.  
"Looks more like one of them profile pictures from that old hook-up app of yours..." Callum chortled easily. "Seein' as you've managed to completely miss includin' my head..."

"Mmmm..." Ben concurred, deep in thought as he deleted that photo too. "Not a bad idea that, as it goes..."  
"Not a chance..." Callum tried to cut off the idea so obviously forming in his boyfriend's head.

Ben shuffled to turn within his man's arms. "We could make it really tasteful babe..." His eyes glinted with joy at just the thought alone. "Classy...black & white...a set of police-issue handcuffs draped around yer shoulders..." With every suggestion he pressed himself in tighter to the other man. "That mighty truncheon of yours as the centrepiece..."

"In your dreams..." Callum dismissed through a huffed outward breath, eyes looking deep into the other man's.  
"Yes, actually..." Ben agreed earnestly giving a nod of his head. "My own very private vision of Officer Highway..."

"Destined to very much stay private," Callum returned, inching their lips together. "Not for public consumption, & definitely not ever likely to end up as a picture in your wallet..."

"But not definitively out of the question that my vision might become a reality at some point in the future..." Ben teased, ever hopeful, tantalising a kiss between them.

As they drew apart, Callum looked set to give his answer, but they found themselves disturbed by a buzz to the flat's front door.

Callum extended out a hand to lift the receiver, which was in easy reach of his span. An excitable voice that they could both readily hear transferred through the handset, prompting fond smiles to spread across their faces.

"Come on up Lex & Lo..." Callum enthused warmly, pressing a button to release the lock on the front door. Turning as he did to direct a devilish wink back in his boyfriend's direction, leaving Ben to flounder on the implicit understanding that at some point in the future his dreams might indeed just come true.


	167. Chapter 167

## Unseen scene of 26/01/20

"Ugh..." Callum collapsed backwards head first onto the sofa. "I am done for..."  
Ben chuckled out his amusement, setting his own coat on the back of a kitchen chair, retrieving two beer bottles from the fridge, & edging across the living area to place them on the table alongside of the sofa.

"She's quite the taskmaster, ain't she, that daughter of mine..." he offered understandingly, gently nestling his weight onto the sofa: first alongside of his man, but then sidling on top of him. 

"Weren't referring to Lex..." Callum managed to grumble out. "She's a treasure; it were you I couldn't keep up with: she felt exactly the same, come to mention it..."

Ben dipped their chins together, first looking minorly affronted, then lightly entertained. "Too much for ya, am I?"

"Didn't say that..." Callum slid his palms down his man's sides, finally letting his hands tuck in the back pockets of the man's jeans. "We've just dropped one very tired, but very happy, little girl back with her mum & you were still tryin' to talk her into a McClunky's burger right to the very end of a jam-packed day, that's all..."

"I will always try to give my little girl the world..." Ben declared as a matter of fact, fingers toying idly at Callum's shirt collar.  
"All of which she deserves..." the elder man concurred affectionately.  
"I owed all of that to her today, & so much more," Ben winced awkwardly. "Considerin' how close I came to walkin' out of her life..."

Callum tapped impatient, unaccepting fingers at his boyfriend's backside, wanting to change his narrative from self-criticism to positivity. "But ya stayed didn't ya?" He feathered together a delicate brush of their lips. "Ya stayed for her, & ya stayed for me. Just like I asked ya to..."

Ben seemed trapped among his demons in that moment, but they both sensed a resolute emergence from them as he studied Callum's face intently. Eyes met eyes eventually & Ben felt himself laid bare, so simply offered a coy smile then dipped his forehead to press it against that of his man's.

Callum was beginning to understand this apparently uncharacteristic shyness of the man in his arms: it being his way of conceding to feelings & emotions he truly didn't know any other way to acknowledge.

"We gonna take a spin through all them photos we snapped today, then?" he simply nudged nose to nose in understated response. "See if any of 'em will fit the bill for what you want to keep in yer wallet..."


	168. Chapter 168

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here begins what looks like 3 months of no canon to fill our days: just as well this fic still has the best part of 5 months to catch up on then...
> 
> That's if I ever stop writing cutesy scenes from the boys' reunion weekend that is...There is always a reason for everything that takes place in this fic though...

## Unseen scene of 26/01/20

"Wait, wait! Go back; let's see that one again..." Callum moved one of his hands from where it had been resting happily against Ben's stomach, so he could swipe back to the photo they'd just been viewing on the younger man's phone.

After some redistribution of their respective body weights, Callum's back was now propped against some cushions at the end of the sofa, with his legs outstretched along it; Ben nestled in between them with his head leant against Callum's chest.

Their pictorial journey through their day spent with Lexi had already taken them through recollections of the petting zoo & a lunch stop, & they were now perusing the most energetic events of the day, spent at an adventure playground.

"Glorious, sexy love handles there baby..." Callum beamed, affectionately snuffling his nose into Ben's hair.  
"Er, I do not have love handles," Ben rejected gruffly. "My body is a temple..."

"Your body is indeed a temple..." Callum affirmed swiftly. "And I will happily worship it every day: love handles included..." As he spoke, he carefully enlarged the photo to focus in on Ben's midriff, partially exposed as it was from his exertion at the time of hanging from a set of monkey bars alongside of his daughter. "Look at you there: ever the tease..."

Ben permitted himself the softest of chortles. "Always knew ya had a thing for me waistline..."  
"Mm " Callum pondered back in obvious mirth. 'Always suspected you wore-slightly -too-short t-shirts just to catch my eye..."

Ben tilted his chin pleadingly upwards. "Did it work?"  
"Like a dream..." Callum affirmed with the cutest of chuckles. "Somethin' about that little snail trail right...here..." Having initially made a move to highlight something on screen, his fingers opted instead to find the real deal, toying at his man's stomach.

"Quit tryin' to distract me..." Ben chastised with little heart, already feeling the flutter of heat to his stomach. He continued to dwell in the sensation despite his protestations for several more lingering moments. 

They could both feel the change in rhythm of their breathing, the quickening of their pulse rates, but determined to focus in on the family matter at hand. Ben swiped the screen before them then spluttered out his amusement. "When did ya even take that?"

The photograph before them showed Lexi & Ben, still hanging carefree from the monkey bars: Lexi looking comfortably at ease, flashing her gap-toothed grin; Ben stretching every sinew to withstand his own body weight. 

Somewhere in the combined Mitchells' desire to show off for the camera, they'd failed to spot Callum slip in behind them & switch to selfie mode while raising his arms as if straining to reach the bars above himself. Never mind the fact his feet had remained on the floor all the while.

"So preoccupied with keepin' up that physique of yours, ya hadn't even noticed I'd moved..." Callum retorted affectionately.  
Ben tilted his head to nuzzle his jaw to the elder's neck. "More like you bein' heightest again actually..."  
"If ya reckon so..." Callum simply batted back, with words & expression that spoke of something wholly different.

"Seriously though..." Ben tipped a kiss to his boyfriend's jaw line. "Best so far: I adore it..."  
"Yeah?" Callum's eyes fixed a soft gaze between them.  
"Yeah.. " Ben further affirmed, tilting his chin ever further to allow their mouths to engage in what was a heartfelt if awkward kiss. 

As Ben'a hand & the phone contained within it began to wilt into the kiss, Callum's all-encompassing grasp righted them again. "One task at a time, yeah?" he joked softly into their smooch; his jovial tone reverberating between them.

"Spoil sport..." Ben lamented, as he reluctantly distanced their lips, although readily snuggling back into his boyfriend's chest once more.


	169. Chapter 169

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the steady rate of updates at present - got a bit of the dreaded writer's block. To the actual extent where I have no idea whether you will even understand what's really going on in this chapter...Just going to have to push on through regardless with fingers firmly crossed...🤞🤞

## Unseen scene of 26/01/20

"And there they are: my two favourite people..." Ben slid a hand down to squeeze affectionately at Callum's thigh, as they perused the final photo taken of their day's family outing. 

It showed Callum seated on a bench, Lexi standing on the seat beside him: both with ice lollies in their hands. Neither was looking towards the camera: their gazes directed instead to one another, sharing their obvious glee at the sweet treats in their possession.

"Mmmm," Callum hummed an appreciative agreement to his man's neck at the sentiment just spoken. Having followed up with a soothing kiss, he spoke further. "You know what I like best about that photo?" 

"The guy who took it?" Ben prompted hopefully.  
Callum gave a huff of unheated exasperation that fluttered against his man's skin. "Apart from the guy who took it, cos that goes without sayin'..."  
"Go on then," Ben shuffled his weight deeper against his boyfriend. "Enlighten me..."

Callum dipped his chin to rest it at Ben's shoulder. "It's just natural, ain't it?" He began softly. "It ain't posed or in any way fake. It's just me & Lex totally in a moment..."

Ben hummed out his acceptance of the sentiment while he gave the photo some further pensive thought. "You both look so carefree..."

"I defy anybody with an ice lolly in their hand to have any worries in the world!" Callum chuckled warmly. He could sense some sudden resistance in Ben's form though: a tension rising in his shoulders that hadn't been there previously.

"That carefree spirit," Callum ventured gently, nudging his nose at Ben's ear. "Me & Lex have only got that because of you..."  
"How'd ya even figure that one?" Ben questioned curiously, relenting to the softness of touch, despite himself.  
"Because you always encourage us to be ourselves," Callum explained easily, feeling Ben's posture beginning to return to its previous state of relaxation.

"People lookin' at that photo can't see it for themselves, but me & Lex both know you were right there on the sidelines, laughin' & smilin' along with us. We're a proper little team, ain't we?" A sense of pride sung through Callum's voice.

Ben seemed overwhelmed by the notion, as if churning a question over & over through his mind that he had no idea how to ask. Eventually, he thought he'd hit upon a way. "Tomorrow..." He paused to cough out the hesitance in his voice. "Tomorrow would you..." He didn't manage to get the words out though, before Stuart unceremoniously bungled his way into the flat. 

Any moment of lucidity from Ben that had threatened to fall disappeared just as swiftly with the untimely arrival of the elder Highway. Ben's obstructive walls rising up to just as high as before.

"You two still ain't got a room then..." Stuart grumbled out his dissatisfaction at being presented with them canoodling on the sofa.  
"You still ain't found any tolerance either..." Callum chipped back, miffed at the disruption.at such an unwelcome moment.

"Nah, come on Cal, Stuart's right..." Ben interjected decisively, darkening his phone's screen & shuffling his weight upwards from the sofa. He seemed suddenly the only one capable of movement, as both Callum & Stuart silently marvelled at the improbability of Ben Mitchell ever deeming anything Stuart Highway said to be correct.

Ben offered a hand back to his boyfriend, tugging Callum's weight out of the seat after him. "We'll take this to our room..." A devilish smirk then spread quickly across his features. "Can't very well laze 'ere watchin' porn when yer brother's in the room can we?"

While Stuart's face hastily reddened into a flush of awkward embarassment, & Callum made to offer assurances they'd been viewing nothing of the sort, Ben simply led his man to the privacy of their own room, turning to kick the door shut behind them, & offering back a salacious grin to Stuart as he did.

Once hidden from view though, he immediately let his walls dissolve once more. "I'm sorry: I know I shouldn't goad yer brother like that, he just riles me every time..."

"Don't matter...." Callum shrugged, inching himself in closer to his boyfriend & pressing him lightly into the wall. "Deserves everythin' he gets...As. Do. You..." Peppering tender, promise-laden kisses to Ben's neck, he whispered out the question still lingering on both of their tongues. "So you ou want me to come with tomorrow?"

He didn't wait for an answer, connecting their lips for a searching kiss, & leaving the words to fill the air between them as more an assertion of fact than an enquiry.

"Please..." Ben managed to breathe out hoarsely. "Please..." He then set himself adrift within the reviving kiss his boyfriend was offering, resolving in that moment maybe carefree really was the way to go.


	170. Chapter 170

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

"Name?"  
"Ben Mitchell".  
"Date of birth?"  
"21/03/1996”

Having ticked Ben's reporting as per the conditions of his bail off his list, the attending officer finally glanced up, looking across the spectacles resting on the bridge of his nose to give an assessing scowl. "Suppose it's too much to hope your plus one over there is the other Mitchell on this register?"

Their combined gaze looked across the reception area of Walford police station towards Callum, taking a cautious, understated seat on one of the plastic chairs in the waiting area.

"Reckon I'll leave you to work that one out..." Ben winked at the desk sergeant, then sauntered across to join his boyfriend.

"All ok?" Callum smiled, apprehension evident despite best attempts otherwise.  
"All peachy..." Ben affirmed boldly, slipping into the seat alongside his man. There was a discrepancy he noted instantly though, as Callum's hand failed to seek out any physical connection between them. A rare occurrence indeed.

"What d'he ask ya?" Callum continued a casual attempt at conversation, although clearly guarded, self-conscious even. As he finished his question, he nodded in the direction of the reception desk.

"Oh," Ben sighed. "Just wanted to know who the hottie is sittin' over here in the checked shirt..." He observed his man closely as he spoke, as it trying to fathom some secret code he'd yet to unlock.  
Callum managed a shy smile at the compliment. "And what did you say?"

Ben playfully nudged his shoulder against that of his boyfriend. "Said I didn't know, but intended to make it me business to find out..."  
"Tryin' to pull in a police station..." Callum seemed more than slightly amused at the notion. "How very Ben Mitchell..."

Ben offered no response as he continued to study his man through concerned eyes. Carefree was the state of mind Callum had been promoting throughout the previous evening, & on into this morning, yet he seemed far from that aura now. 

Giving minimal eye contact to Ben, let alone around the room, Callum seemed troubled and withdrawn: his attention focused on picking at the seam of his pale denim jeans, rather than on the man he'd barely let slip from his sight since Friday.

"You alright?" Ben voiced the question quietly while his brain began to chastise itself for thinking asking Callum along to his bail review was ever likely to be a good idea. This was dragging Callum into murky waters he had no place being near, let alone within. 

"I'm good..." Callum assured, although in a tone that convinced neither of them.  
"I shouldn't of asked ya to come " Ben lamented apologetically. "This is way above & beyond. It's my mess & should deal be man enough to deal with it on me own, not draggin' ya down with me..."

Callum made an instant gesture that was easily the most extroverted he'd been since they'd walked into the police station, shaking his head earnestly. "Nah, that ain't it..." He engaged his boyfriend with an emphatic gaze. "I said we'd get through this together & I meant every word..."

Ben was now utterly confused: how could this wonder of a man at his side go from being so comfortable within his own skin all weekend long, to so awkward & uncomfortable in the space of a few short minutes?

"Well, not bein' funny but," Ben scratched idly at a grain of stubble that was causing a sudden irritation to the skin on his neck. "Shouldn't I be the one shittin' meself here as the one answerin' a bail charge? As it is, yer lookin' more nervous than a small nun at a penguin shoot..."

There it came again, Callum's bashful smile: he was never one to deny his boyfriend's one-liners after all. Still though he seemed pensive, so Ben tilted his head inquisitively to one side. "So come on: out with it. What's eatin' at ya..."

Callum exhaled a long sigh: both disappointed at himself that he hadn't been able to keep these particular demons at bay, & resigned to the knowledge he would have to tell Ben the truth. That was supposed to be the entire basis for their relationship after all.

He took in a deep breath, then tried to give his explanation. "It's just..." He paused, in search of inspiration, eyes transfixing themselves to a poster on the wall, then tried again. "It's just that..."

As Callum faltered in his explanation for a second time, Ben followed his line of sight to look at what his boyfriend was staring at. Suddenly, it all became clear for him.

Ben stood up abruptly from his chair, the sudden flurry of movement catching the desk sergeant's eye, & causing him to look across in part trepidation, part anticipation that something vaguely interesting might be about to happen.

Ben tapped at the pocket of his coat by way of explanation to the unwanted onlooker. "Alright if we step outside for a quick ciggy?"  
The sergeant simply nodded his approval. "Be quick about it mind..."

Ben returned a nod of acceptance, then gestured for Callum to go with him. Reaching the door, Ben held it carefully open for Callum to walk through first, then briefly diverted his attention back to the sergeant while he followed on through. "Don't ya worry pal, we're well practiced in the art of quickies...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I love about these boys is that sometimes when you're in the middle of writing a chapter that you think will be largely focused around one of them, the other one then scampers into view with a whole a new layer of emotions, preconceptions & insecurities to peel away at.
> 
> Or, Callum took me as much by surprise here as he did Ben: sometimes in my working brain, the boys demand they write their own narrative for a while, rather than let me write it for them...


	171. Chapter 171

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

"Talk me through it then..." Ben prompted carefully, as he set himself down on the steps leading into Walford police station to sit directly beside Callum: knees nearly touching when both men had planted their feet firmly to the floor in front of them.

Callum looked across to Ben & winced out an apology. "I'm sorry: you don't need this today of all days..."  
"Glad of the distraction to be fair..." Ben suggested back with a quirk of his eyebrows.

Callum gave a faint nod in acceptance of the assertion, then began to quietly voice his concern. "Do you ever worry that you're just here to fulfil a quota?"

Ben scowled out his dissatisfaction at the clumsiness of his boyfriend's question, although knowing what was meant, & frustrated it still had to be a topic of discussion in the twenty-first century. He would of course do him the courtesy of talking it through, but only if Callum said the words himself, so Ben played along with the carefree vibe for now. "What me, with me hearin' impairment & dodgy eyesight?" 

Callum huffed out in exasperation. "I mean as a gay man..."  
"I know exactly what ya meant Callum," Ben swiftly assured. "Just needed you to say it out loud first..."

Callum seemed perplexed by the response. "Ya what?"  
"Just wanted to check ya were still identifyin' in that way before we had this little chat..." Ben shrugged.  
"I ain't ashamed of who I am," Callum immediately pressed home. "Of what we are..."

Ben looked down at where his left hand & Callum's right hand lay on the paving between them. "Them big hands of yours ain't even come near me since we set foot in that place..." He indicated the building behind them with a brief tip of his head. "About the only times until now in the past 72 hours you ain't kept constant physical contact with me was when ya were takin' a wazz..."

Callum's lips visibly pursed as he thought through a suitable response. "Did ya see that poster in there?"  
"I saw it..." Ben confirmed.  
"And what did ya think when ya saw it?" Callum pressed again.

Ben gave a shrug of his shoulders. "It's lazy, outdated advertisin' ain't it..." He bit down against his lip to serve himself a sharp reminder that expressing he held a similar viewpoint when it came to modern day policing wouldn't be appropriate with his wannabe-copper-boyfriend beside him.

"Yeah," Callum sighed deeply. "Yeah it is, & I don't wanna be typecast in that way. They're boastin' inclusivity, but all I see is pigeonholin'..."

The poster they were referencing was one lauding the diversity & tolerance of policeforce recruitment, depicting a woman who identified as a Goth; an Asian man; & a second man standing tall as homosexual, complete with identifying rainbow flag.

Ben rubbed a hand wearily across his own brow. "No-one gets to define your sexuality Callum, other than you. It's completely in your power to be whatever representation of masculinity you wanna be..."

"With outdated stereotypin' around like that?" Callum sighed, now his turn to gesture back in the direction of the police building.  
"In spite of it," Ben suggested in turn. "Let me show ya how..." Shuffling unceremoniously back to his feet, Ben offered a hand out to his boyfriend, who still looked unconvinced.

"You trust me, yeah?" Ben prompted gently.  
"With my life..." Callum agreed earnestly.   
"So, let's go show this outdated future employer of yours what real gay men look like..." Ben's accompanying smile as he spoke was so bright, so vibrant, that Callum was unlikely ever to be able to say no.

"I'll take the lead..." Ben continued to explain, tugging Callum's weight back up to vertical. "All you gotta do is decide if & how far to follow..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Occasionally, because apparently just keeping momentum going on this epic fic isn't enough for my brain, it decides on a game of jeopardy where I embark on a plot line & start posting chapters relating to it before I've ascertained if I can genuinely make the plot work or not.
> 
> The next few chapters will be case in point: I have a concept & am part way through making it happen - whether I manage it or not, is still open to debate. So either the next few chapters will seem utterly disjointed & should just be consigned to some weird part of history where we all deny they ever happened, or something ok will come of it.
> 
> Quite frankly, it's in the balance & could go either way...


	172. Chapter 172

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer  
None of what is about to happen could ever take place in the British policing system, but as we're:  
a) 14 weeks into UK lockdown;  
b) 2 weeks into a drought of actual canon;  
c) A quite staggering 172 chapters into this epic;  
I feel a little artistic license is permissible just this once, particularly if it allows for some playful Ben...And in time-old Eastenders fashion, perhaps a bit of foreshadowing of future plots...

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

"This interview of Ben Mitchell is being conducted by DI Pritchard. Also present is DS Sanderson. Mr Mitchell has been cautioned as to his rights, but is not under formal arrest at this time..." 

Ben shuffled & reset his weight in the uncomfortable chair beneath him as he zoned out from the investigating officer's spiel. He'd heard this all plenty of times before & it never changed: _ Anything you do say may be given in evidence against you_ & all that blurb. 

"Mr Mitchell has declined legal representation at this time..."  
That bit of the script was new though: Ben was more used to having the stern-faced legal eagle Ritchie beside him in these situations: certainly not the supporting figure at his side now.

"Also present at this interview at the request of Mr Mitchell is.. " The officer gestured for the individual to identify himself directly.

Callum leant gently forward, the chair beneath him creaking at the redistribution of his weight, while he gave a cough to clear his throat. "Callum...Callum Highway..."

Ben concealed an adoring smile at just how cute his boyfriend unknowingly was, as his mannerisms suggested he was giving a tentative answer in a pub quiz rather than a police interview room.

He still couldn't quite believe he'd swung this entire scenario, to be honest: having your boyfriend admitted to a police interview in an observing capacity was irregular to say the least. A well-timed comment from Ben in the sergeant's earshot though that his hearing aid was playing up, & the local constabulary had instantly been rattled.

Hushed conversations that any evidence brought to light during the interview might prove inadmissible if Ben later revealed he was questioned while unable to hear clearly; whispered concerns that their investigations could be delayed by hours if they waited for a fix to the hearing aid.

Some bright spark young constable had arrived on the scene offering the self-taught skill of British Sign Language: Ben had seen him off with a shake of the head & withering comment. "I ain't deaf, & have no clue what any of them hand signals mean..."

The investigating officer had been next to step forward, with a patronising tone, & even more patronising glare. "Mr Mitchell..." He spoke in a ridiculously slow, over-emphasised manner. "Are we able to proceed with your interview if we speak clearly like this..."

Ben had simply revelled in the glee of knowing exactly what was being said, but able to twist the situation to his own advantage. He feigned focusing in hard on the detective's lip movements, as if struggling to comprehend.

"You can ask us to repeat a question at any time..."  
Ben's private admiration for the deaf community went up a notch as he considered this was the sort of way they were spoken down to day on day. Still though, he was content to have his fun.

"I can ask you to retreat a suggestion at any time?" Ben contorted his features into a frown of misunderstanding as he intentionally misinterpreted what had just been said, then glanced an immediate look of confusion to Callum.

"No Ben," Callum intervened softly, instinctively slipping their hands together without so much as second-thinking it. "You can ask them to repeat a question at any time..." Give the man a cause other than himself, & any insecurities about how his sexuality might be perceived by others went flying out of the window 

"Ah..." Ben smiled out his newfound understanding, which then transformed into a knowing smirk. "Interview could take a while at this rate then..." He let the power of suggestion linger in the air while he smiled sweetly at the detective. "Ready whenever you are officer..."

"You know Mr Mitchell?" The detective, determined not to be outmanoeuvred, directed his latest question to Callum.  
Ben silently observed the nervous swipe of Callum's tongue against lip, as his elder contemplated the seminal moment now in his own hands.  
"Yeah, yeah I do..." Callum suddenly declared boldly. "He's my boyfriend..."

In that moment, Ben hadn't ever known himself to be prouder, & so it had come to pass that Callum would sit in on the interview, just in case Ben needed clarification of any words spoken to him.

It was time to give the long arm of the law a lesson in gay rights::& Callum a coaxing reminder there was nothing wrong with being out & proud....


	173. Chapter 173

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

"So Mr Mitchell, thank you firstly for your prompt attendance here today..." Generic formalities out of the way, the detective set properly about his work.

"Oh, my pleasure: any time..." Ben flashed a brief smile that didn't exactly speak of sincerity. He didn't miss the subtle roll of Callum's eyes to the ceiling as he did so.

"Having complied fully with the conditions of your bail, & with no further evidence of any crime having been committed, I can inform you that no charges will be brought against you in relation to the disappearance of Keanu Taylor today".

A side glance in Callum's direction permitted Ben to see a flush of relief wash over his boyfriend that Ben hurriedly thought he might have to take steps to contain. Luckily for all in the room though, Callum checked his response just in time, & simply swallowed down hard.

"Investigations into Mr Taylor's whereabouts continue, & should any further evidence become available, we may call on you again..."  
"Well, you've got my address..." Ben leant back to demonstrate his satisfaction at the turn of proceedings.

"There is though the matter of your father's failure to report as per his bail conditions this morning..." The detective continued. "And we wondered if you might have any information in that regard..."

Ben had been expecting this, of course, but it didn't make the scenario any easier in his mind. He opted to stall for time, turning a glance to Callum, as if seeking clarification as to the question.

"Your Dad, Ben," Callum simply reiterated. "They're askin' if ya know where Phil is..." Callum had adopted the role of mediator with ease, even though he had no real understanding of why Ben had considered it necessary.

Ben gave a nod of his head in understanding, & perhaps in some ways of reassurance, to Callum, then turned his attention back to the police officers opposite. "Phil ain't been in touch with you in person then, no?"

"It would appear he may have misplaced our address & telephone number..." the detective replied drolly. “Which is curious, given that you've made it here today without any issues..."  
"Tissues?" Ben queried back with a scowl of concentration..  
The delicate nudge of Callum's foot against his shin a warning shot to quit with his games. 

Ben simply sighed in return, wishing Callum would cotton on that he was doing this for him: Any organisation, or individuals within it, that made his boyfriend feel anything less than the man he was deserved to be given the run around.

"Oh you said issues didn't ya?" Ben rattled out a chuckle. "My bad officer..."  
The detective, who looked like he'd had a sense of humour bypass at the best of times, looked downright unimpressed. "Thought you & your Dad were thick as thieves? Certainly appeared that way when you walked out of our custody suite last Friday morning..."

Ben quirked an eyebrow at the suggestion the prison cells could be termed a suite, when they were far more akin to a dingy backstreet bedsit. He reasoned best not to voice that notion though. 

"Prefer to be attached at the hip to this one nowadays, don't I?" Ben instead beamed, indicating Callum with his hand. "My man here's everything my Dad ain't: tall, handsome, athletic..."

"Ben..." Callum intervened with a hiss, recognising his boyfriend was preparing to reel off a list that would likely become increasingly inappropriate.

The detective across the desk seemed almost intrigued by the interplay, but decided simply to add in something of his own to Ben's descriptive list of Callum. "Clean living?"

Ben shot an instant glare of disdain at the detective for the negative, if entirely accurate inference, he made regarding Phil, but then softened markedly. "Pure & good as they come, is my man..."

"Sorry..." Callum though immediately intervened with the raising of a hand. "I am here ya know. Any questions specifically relating to me, or my character, could actually be addressed directly to me..."

The detective gave a brief nod of acknowledgement, then settled to shuffling some of the papers in front of him on the desk.

Ben saw & seized more opportunity for high jinks. "Love it when ya get all feisty babe..." He directed in sultry tones to Callum.  
"In which case..." Callum sent back with surprising ease, given their surroundings. "Enough".

Ben leant back in his chair, pleased with the outcome of his toils this far, while for the first time Callum began to sense this wasn't simple point scoring by Ben, it was the proving of a point. And not just to the police either, but to Callum himself.

The detective eyed their exchange with evident interest, but offered no voiced observation. "Perhaps Mr Mitchell, we could return to the question of the whereabouts of Mr Philip Mitchell..."

Ben gave a sniff to keep himself in character. "The Whereabouts of Mr Philip Mitchell" - he air-mimed the quotation marks as he spoke. "Sounds a bit like one of them texts they make ya read for GCSE English..."  
Callum couldn't resist the tiniest of wry chuckles at the remark.  
"I'll put it in simpler terms for you then Mr Mitchell..." the detective was now becoming weary of the games being played. "Do you know your father's current location?"

"Yes," Ben confirmed to the surprise of the room: none more so than Callum, whose mouth threatened to fall open in shock. Again though, he checked his expression just in time.  
"And would you perhaps care to enlighten us then?" Interest suddenly piqued, the detective leant forward in his chair, sensing he was about to strike gold.

"Well," Ben sought to clarify, giving an idle scratch to his chin. "I can at least narrow it down for you a bit: he ain't in the UK & he was sayin' somethin' about a different time zone to London..."

"And when exactly did he say this to you?" The detective pressed, although already downgrading his likely findings from gold to platinum. 

"Last night, & well..." Ben sniffed again for dramatic effect. "When you say he told me, it were actually more like he told my voicemail, so..." 

Callum's mind was boggling through the information he was hearing, as he tried to recall any semblance of recollection that Ben might have received word from his father in the night.

The detective too looked perplexed. "So let me get this straight: your father, who you knew was due to report here on bail alongside of yourself this morning, rang you last night, but you didn't take the call & let it go to voicemail instead?"

"That's the long & the short of it, officer..." Ben agreed.  
"That seems a little strange doesn't it?" The detective was now on a roll. "Surely you'd be all over a telephone call from your father the night before your combined bail review?"

Callum had to privately admit that seemed a fair assumption, & was keenly prospecting hearing Ben's answer to it for himself.

"Well yeah, ordinarily..." Ben concurred, stringing out the final word. "Thing is though officer..." He paused to cast a conspiratorial glance around the room. "Thing is, I was a bit tied up when he called..."

The detective initiated some disapproving tutting. "Too busy for your own dear father?"  
"Do not…” Ben pointed a harsh finger. “…misquote me... I said I was _tied up_..."

The emphasis placed on the final two words began to ring on repeat through Callum's ears as he realised the insinuation being made, involuntarily expelling a nervous cough, as he tried to choke down his rising embarrassment.

"Take more water with it next time babe..." Ben smiled kindly at his boyfriend, laying a gentle hand to Callum's thigh & rubbing it affectionately. Callum immediately shooting him a glance in warning; Ben simply staring adoringly back into his eyes.

"Right well..." the detective intervened with a cough of his own, as he noticed the developing love in across the room.  
Callum seized the interruption as opportunity to shake from his head the poorly-timed thoughts beginning to swirl in his mind: Ben having got him a little hot under the collar with one sultry look alone. In a police station, of all places. He gave Ben's hand a light squeeze, then sought to unobtrusively guide it away from his thigh: there was a time & a place, after all.

Ben though was unaccepting of Callum's attempt at disengaging their physical contact, immediately reinstating his splayed palm to rest it possessively on his man's thigh.  
Callum gulped down his unease, raising his gaze from where Ben's hand lay, to look his man directly in the eye: the glint he found there warning alone that Ben wasn't quite done yet.

"This doesn't make you at all uneasy, does if officer?" Ben tore his eyes from Callum to glare at his nemesis across the desk. "Two men in a committed relationship, being open & free with their actions & feelings?"

Ben felt the immediate burn of Callum's gaze into his skin, & knew exactly what he was reacting to: he absorbed the searching intensity of the man's expression though, & matched it with that of his own, still directed firmly at the detective.

"Not at all Mr Mitchell..." the lead detective immediately sought to quell any suggestion of prejudice. 

"Relieved to hear it officer," Ben batted back instantaneously. "No room for that kind of prehistoric stigma in today's society, is there babe?" His question directed back in Callum's direction: an invitation to make of it whatever he felt able.

"No place at all..." Callum agreed, empowered by his boyfriend's force of will alone, so slipping his hand to interlock it firmly with Ben’s at his thigh. “So any more questions ya got about Ben’s whereabouts when Phil left that voicemail last night, fire right away…”


	174. chapter 174

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All you naughty, naughty folk who left comments on yesterday's instalment; - all of which made me chuckle heartily btw - just look what you've made me go & do now... 😉😜

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

It was the detective's turn to squirm a little uncomfortably in his seat, as he recognised Ben Mitchell had him on the ropes: one false step now, or the merest sniff of police prejudice against the man's sexuality, & it would all be over. 

That prejudice of course could take many forms: denial, refusal, belittling, ignorance to name but a few. He would have to tread a careful line, of which he was fully aware: just as was Ben, if the serene, slightly goading smile on his face was anything to go by.

The detective settled for pursuing safer ground than Ben's suggested reason for missing his father's call the previous evening. "Perhaps we might return to the subject of your father's voicemail, Mr Mitchell? I would assume you had the foresight not to delete it?"

Callum, now sitting less rigidly at his man's side, let his thumb rub a continuous circle against one of Ben's knuckles, already more assured in himself - in their selves - than before.

_ Of course..._ he mused just to himself. _The existence of a voicemail from Phil makes total sense now. It's Ben's ticket to freedom, meanwhile Phil sews the seed that he's on the run owing to his guilt._ He may not have been in agreement with the shady nature of the Mitchells' business, but Callum had to admit they were smart at it.

Ben emitted a short cough before giving his measured response. "Yes, officer, obviously I saved the voicemail knowing we had this rendezvous in the diary for today..."

Callum looked nothing short of proud at that, as he looked the detective square in the eye & gave him a calm smile.

"Thing is though..." Ben sniffed, & Callum immediately felt his heart sink just a little: he was well-versed in his boyfriend's excuses, & the little tells that preceded them, after all.

"Thing is, my little girl was playin' Candy Crush on me phone first thing, & the little madam only went & deleted me voicemails while she was at it..." Ben gave a shrug of his shoulders that suggested the question of _ What's a dad to do, eh? Daughters..._

Ben had noted the sudden stilling of Callum's thimb while giving voice to his admission: could feel his boyfriend using all his not inconsiderable willpower to cease from turning, staring & leaning over to shake him, all the while asking what on earth Ben had said that for.

To his eternal credit though, Callum remained still & stoic, displaying a poker face of which Ben had not thought him capable. Somewhere along the line, Callum's thumb even resumed its caressing swirls once more.

Ben scratched firmly at a sudden irritation among the stubble on his neck with his free hand. "Sad to say the littl'un's got previous form in that regard too. Deleted a text message from this one to me, sent on his weddin' day, no less..." Ben referenced that he was again referring to Callum with a point of the thumb in his boyfriend's direction.

"Still, I blame it on her mother..." Ben continued to muse. "We're tryin'a make sure me daughter has some more positive role models in her life now, aren't we babe?" Without warning, he snuck an affectionate kiss to his man's cheek.

Callum turned near crimson at the glancing press of Ben's mouth to his skin. "Positive role models, absolutely..." he just about managed to affirm, while trying to regulate his breathing.

The sensation was one of near spinning on a carousel for Callum: only, just as he began to settle into the ride, Ben spun it sharply back in the other direction, like a fairground attendant on the Waltzers. 

Callum dared a glance across the desk at how the two police officers were coping with Ben's rollercoaster trip, & sensed they were finding themselves similarly wrongfooted. 

For every inch of him that found Ben's tactics unsettling, unnerving, though, Callum had to make the private admission that another inch of him found it electrifying, intoxicating. 

_Scream if ya wanna go faster..._was the challenge igniting from within Ben's eyes, & Callum felt his own insides return a cry for more...


	175. Chapter 175

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

Ben adored the thrill of it, he couldn’t lie: the cat & mouse, punch & counterpunch that all formed part of the flirtation taking place, all right under the noses of two officers of the law. This was the ultimate game of jeopardy; how many of each other’s buttons could he & Callum press while the police continued to conduct their enquiries. 

He hadn’t even noticed Callum’s initial foray into the game play, to be fair, so subtle had the soothing action of thumb to knuckle been. The elder man had now raised the stakes considerably though, manoeuvring his arm to rest it at the back of Ben’s chair, propping his elbow against it, & spreading his palm at the exposed nape of Ben’s neck, thumb re-enacting its rubbing motion, with an occasional slip beneath the collar of Ben’s maroon shirt.

Ben melted back into the touch as he concentrated hard on answering the detective’s latest question. “A timescale?” He repeated, not too lost in Callum’s wiles to remember that he had a pretence of troubled hearing to maintain.  
The detective simply nodded his confirmation that Ben had heard him correctly.

“Well…” Ben paused to muse as if attempting to recall the previous evening; an errant finger from his hand, as still pressed to Callum’s thigh, now wandering its way with purpose up along the inner seam of the man’s jeans. “Took ourselves off to bed early last night, officer…” A devilish smile swept across his face. “Fancied a bit of one-on-one time, if ya get my drift…” He didn’t miss the fleeting outward flick of Callum’s tongue in his peripheral vision: a sure sign that his man’s insecurities had long-since evaporated, replaced by something more primal.

“And that would have been around what time?” The detective queried evenly.  
Ben clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, as if struggling to recollect; leant a little deeper into Callum’s touch, as an unspoken gesture urging him on.  
“An approximation would be fine, Mr Mitchell…” the officer sighed. “We can double check your mobile phone records in due course, but an understanding of your movements last night would assist us in narrowing down the timeframe we’re looking into…”

Ben quirked his eyebrows at the inference the local constabulary might take an active interest in his sexual performance of the night before, but let that one drop for the meantime. “Would’ve been about 8 o’clock, I reckon…”

The detective accepted the disclosure with minimum fuss, simply jotting the given time down on the paperwork in front of him. “And the time at which you discovered the voicemail from your father; that would have been…”

Ben felt the beginnings of Callum tugging lightly at individual strands of his hair where they lay flat against his neck, & tried hard not to think of the connotations the sensation conjured up in his mind. “That might be a bit of a harder one to nail down…”   
Callum wasn’t sure if it was just his ears that pricked to the emphasis Ben seemed to place on two of the words in particular, casting a slight glance in his boyfriend’s direction for confirmation.

“It has been known for us to lose all track of time, ya see officer…” Ben again quirked an eyebrow, then looked across to Callum to issue him a mischievous wink. “Time flies when yer havin’ fun, that’s what they say, ain’t it?”

The two men seemed a little captivated in their shared stare, each focusing solely on the electrifying touch of the other’s hand, until their bubble was burst by an intervention from the, increasingly ill-tempered, detective. “Perhaps Mr Highway could offer some clarity on the matter…”

Ben bit down firmly on his bottom lip in anticipation, watching Callum’s eyes as they were drawn to the movement.  
“Like Ben says,” Callum responded with a casual sense of ease, eyes barely relenting from their current occupation. “We got ourselves a bit too preoccupied to keep track of time…”

“Of course you did…” the officer simply sighed in resignation. “And I suppose next Mr Mitchell will be telling me that his mobile phone has suffered some terrible fate on its journey here this morning?” He drummed fingers heavily to the desk to demonstrate his irritation. “It fell in the canal, got run over by a tube train, pickpocketed on his way through the market…”

Ben’s attention was finally distracted back away from his man. “That would just be plain ridiculous; only one person ever permitted to pick my pockets, & he’s sittin’ right alongside me…” He flashed a smirk direct to the detective.

“In which case Mr Mitchell, will you permit us access to your mobile phone, in order to ascertain the timeframe of your father’s call for ourselves, given you were…” the detective paused to consider his turn of phrase carefully. “…otherwise engaged…”

“Course…” Ben acquiesced with a sniff in reply. “Ya only had to ask…” He momentarily shuffled his weight upwards from the chair, pressing his hand deeper against Callum’s thigh for leverage, while simultaneously leaving his man to lament the loss of skin to skin contact. Callum’s hand though soon found itself an alternative place to rest, slipping to the small of Ben’s beck to support him while he stood to fish the mobile phone from his trouser pocket, then remaining in situ as Ben sat back down again. 

As Callum’s fingers began to dash seductive patterns to his boyfriend’s lower back, Ben held his finger’s print to his phone to unlock it, navigated to the list of recent calls, then passed the phone over in the detective’s direction.   
“Thank you for your cooperation Mr Mitchell…” the officer mustered a tone of distinctly limited gratitude.

“Oh it’s my pleasure entirely…” Ben beamed, then tipped his head backwards to absorb the almost ticklish play of Callum’s fingers at his spine. “Just mind ya don’t accidentally find your way to my photo gallery on there, or ya might get a fuller picture than ya bargained on of what me & this one was up to when me Dad called last night…”


	176. Chapter 176

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

“Just a few more questions while my colleague works through the details from your phone, Mr Mitchell…”  
Ben expelled a sigh of remorse that his time wasn’t yet destined to be his own, although he had to admit Callum’s continual touch was recompense in part. “Lucky for you officer I’m in a generous mood…” As he made his quip, Ben shuffled his foot to angle the tip of his shoe to Callum’s calf, & began to rhythmically stroke up & down.

The detective fixed Ben with a determined glare. “Is there any reason known to you why your father would deem it appropriate to leave the country while on police bail?”  
“Fancied a holiday?” Ben suggested with a shrug.  
“A holiday that he made no mention of to the custody sergeant just three days ago?” the detective looked unconvinced.  
“Last-minute deal, I guess…” Ben shrugged again, while keeping a half eye on Callum in the corner of his vision. 

“He didn’t invite you along?”  
Ben felt the stilling of Callum’s hand at his back, just as had happened the last time a difficult subject area had threatened to arise. “Never been a big one for family holidays my Dad…besides, you’ve met the man. I’m not sure the thought of him in a pair of budgie smugglers does much for any of us, does it?”

"You though babe..." Quick as a flash, Ben turned his focus back to Callum. "In a pair of Speedos: all hot & lithe & tanned..." Near licking his lips at the thought.

The detective rolled his eyes pointedly. "As you were Mr Mitchell; this isn't a fantasy chat room. If we could please return to the matter in hand..."  
"Know what I fancy a handful of..." Ben remarked at barely above a whisper, before shooting his attention back across the desk. 'You were sayin', officer?"

Continuing to become rattled by Ben's offensive, the detective looked on the verge of saying something he might regret when his colleague intervened.  
"Gov, you might wanna look at this..."  
Callum's brow marginally furrowed, while Ben remained unconcerned. "Ya ain't copping an eyeful of our saucy pictures over there are ya?"  
"Ben..." Callum began to growl under his breath. "Don't..." For all he was inappropriately fired up by his boyfriend's mischief, Callum still retained an air of caution.

Ben though, wasn't for turning. "Don't be bashful now babe..." His hand slipped effortlessly back to Callum's upper thigh, to which he gave a significant squeeze. "Sure it ain't nothing these gents ain't seen before, although maybe not in those proportions..." The final word loaded with intentional emphasis.

Callum thought himself likely to asphyxiate of embarrassment in that moment, before Ben expertly intervened to save him, albeit only marginally. "I mean, there can't be many fellas out there boastin' a bigger shoe size than you..."

Callum, barely knowing whether to laugh or reach out & throttle his boyfriend, settled on a happy medium, delivering a swift pinch to the loose skin of Ben's lower back.  
Ben flashing him a glare that implied he'd be dealing with him later for that move, but still tempering the exchange with a continual rub of his foot to Callum's calf.

"So it would appear that your father called you last night at 10.22pm..." the detective's summary of his colleague's findings positioned itself aptly between the couple's play.  
Ben's eyes widened in gleeful delight. "Wow babe..." he winked in Callum's direction. "Reckon that means we beat our previous best...No wonder we were both so knackered this mornin’…”

Callum chuckled warmly at the analogy being made, & offered one of his own. “Definitely a season’s best in terms of stamina…”  
Ben lifted an eyebrow to deliver the innuendo of all innuendos with emphasis on particular words as standard. “All-comers record, I reckon babe…” 

“Mr Mitchell…” the detective exclaimed in exasperation: annoyance thick in his tone. “Do you have any information for us in regard to where your father may have gone? We will be making an attempt to trace the mobile number he contacted you from, but experience tells me that may not get us very far…”

Ben sat back in his chair & pursed his lips, as if in thought. “Nope, ain’t got a clue officer. It’s a big old world out there after all…”  
“Well perhaps if he sends you a postcard, you’d be kind enough to inform your local constabulary…” the detective suggested dryly.  
“Goes without sayin’…” Ben confirmed with a nod. “Although, ain’t sure me Dad’s ever put pen to paper in his life…He’s more a man of action than words…”

The detective emitted one final, long sigh. “Whereas you’re a proper cunning linguist aren’t you Mr Mitchell?” As if performing a microphone drop, self-satisfied that he had finally out-manoeuvred his opponent, the detective simply carried on with his formal business. “Interview terminated at…” he glanced at the watch on his wrist. “…11.03am”.

Ben smiled serenely, near impressed at the man’s verbal dexterity: he wasn’t quite yet done himself though. “Glad to hear my reputation precedes me officer…” While speaking, he rose from his chair to slip his coat onto his shoulders. “You think I’m talented in that regard though, this man here of mine takes that particular skill to a whole new level”.

Callum, in his relative innocence, had the suspicion he’d missed something, so looked on at his boyfriend with an expression of bemusement.  
While the police officers dwelt in gathering together their possessions, the junior of the two having passed Ben’s mobile phone back across to him, Ben leant in close to whisper into Callum’s ear the connotation of what had just been said, then stood back, with both charm & affection evident in his gaze, as he watched the familiar flush of crimson light up Callum’s skin.


	177. Chapter 177

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the final scene that plays out in this chapter will spark a moment's recognition for the readership, without me stating it's actual significance at this point.
> 
> If it does, excellent: that means you've all been paying close attention within actual canon; if not, all will become clear in the next chapter...you should surely realise by now how I am obsessed with tying up those loose ends the EE team leave dangling...

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

"And finally if you could sign & date, here..." the desk sergeant used his tatty, lid-chewed blue biro to indicate where he wanted Ben to sign, "...and here," he repeated the action. "Then you can be on your way & under no current further legal obligation to us, Mr Mitchell".

Ben accepted the shabby looking pen when handed it with a marked grimace, trying not to dwell on how many hours it had passed being gnawed by a human being, with all sorts of germs now dormant on it. He settled on signing & dating as swiftly as possible to minimise the risk of transference.

"Well," Ben ventured, having completed the required paperwork. "I've had a lovely time officer. I'll be sure to post a positive review on Trip Advisor". He planted a facetious grin across his face.

The sergeant diverted his attention from Ben to look instead at Callum, who was standing alongside of his man. "I honestly have no clue how you put up with this one night & day. You deserve some sort of medal lad..."

Callum smiled back politely, giving a short nod of his head. "He has his moments..." Holding a hand out for Ben to take, the taller man began to turn them away in the direction of the exit, before glancing back at the sergeant to deliver his own show-stopping remark. "And when he does fall out of line, that's when I find the restraints & gag in me bedside drawer come in handy..."

Ben's chin near collided with the floor as his mouth fell open in shock, while the sergeant muttered something disapproving about the youth of today.  
"Catchin' flies there babe..." Callum chortled in high amusement as he led his, for once completely silenced, boyfriend out through the doors. 

By the time they both reached the reviving outside air, as opposed to the stale waft within the building, Ben had regained his equilibrium, if not quite his composure. "Enough of the backchat, & just get 'ere & snog me, yeah?"

With no further warning, he grabbed for the sides of Callum's jacket, & pulled him in insistently with a territorial growl. "Don't know what's got you goin' this mornin', but it is hot & I want more of it…"

Their mouths hungrily collided into a kiss that was more charged than anything Callum could recall they'd committed in public before, or during daylight hours at least. Ben emitting grunts & moans of feral desire; Callum harmonising with hums & breathy sounds of his own. The taller man's hands planted firmly against his man's neck; Ben's fingers snatching & clasping to his elder's buttoned shirt.

"What ya said in there..." Callum eventually panted out between breathless exchanges of tongues, teeth & saliva.  
"Said quite a few things as I recall babe.. " Ben teased, tantalising hot, heavy kisses between them, in an effort to resurrect something more sustained.

"Early on..." Callum attempted to qualify; voice a little shallow with desire. "There was somethin' you said, specifically about us..."  
"Well," Ben mused with a delicious smirk. "I'm guessin' I didn't say anythin' wrong, goin' by the reaction it's got from you..."

Callum took a step back & gave a slight, near disbelieving, shake of his head as he closely examined his boyfriend.  
Ben visibly squirming in response, uncertain of what he was missing. "Help me out here babe, please..."

"You said," Callum smiled, stroking his thumb to the man's stubble. "You said we're a committed couple..."  
"Well we are: aren't we?" Ben instantly struck back, eyes searching those of the other man intently.  
"I'd like to think so..." Callum affirmed softly; thumb tenderly tracing it's way from Ben's jaw to his lips.  
"Yeah?" Ben checked with a wiggle of his brow.  
"Yeah..." Callum agreed, leaning his head in to reaffirm their kiss.

As they lingered in their renewed closeness, somehow even more intense from the settlement they'd just reached, Ben understatedly retrieved the mobile phone from his pocket, & expertly navigated to the app he wanted without ever breaking their kiss, or alerting Callum to his actions.

"Babe..." he eventually prompted, retreating softly from their embrace. "Take a look over there will ya..." He indicated the direction of which he was speaking with a dart of his head.

Callum wondered what was happening, but never once thought to question it. Turning to look where Ben had suggested, he found a selfie of them promptly being snapped.

The first attempt a failure, as Callum was mid frown of confusion, while Ben was too occupied by taking the shot; the second, though, an unmitigated success, as Callum beamed with total delight, while Ben tucked in close to his man & quirked an exuberant, playful expression.


	178. Chapter 178

## Unseen scene merging into actual scene of 27/01/20

"Cheers Mick," Callum gave his parting farewell to the landlord as he gathered the two beer bottles from the bar & moved to join his boyfriend at a table directly behind.  
"Shove up a bit..." he prompted, passing a bottle over to Ben & then shuffling in beside him. "Let's take another look at that selfie ya took, while yer at it..."

Ben retrieved the phone from his pocket as requested, unlocking it with a forefinger & swiping to the photo in question. As Callum took possession of the phone to drink in every detail of what was his new favourite photo in the world, Ben took a long, quenching sip of his beer, feeling it was richly deserved."What you grinnin' like a Cheshire cat for?" he eventually asked his boyfriend.  
"Us..." Callum remarked softly. "That photo: it's just totally us, ain't it?"

Ben moved in closer to his man so they could share the view, albeit then casting a cagey glance to see who was about. Perhaps unbeknownst to Callum, just as he was anxious in displaying his sexuality in some public forums, so equally was Ben in displaying his emotions: lustful, passion-driven acts yes, but less so simple acts of affection or endearment. He conceded though, despite himself, leaning into Callum's shoulder.

"It's you bein' too cool for school & me bein' a total geek ain't it?" Callum tipped a kiss to his man's temple. "But deep down, we both know the reality to that photo, & what it really means, don't we?"  
Ben emitted a contented sigh. "Yeah, yeah we do...", causing Callum to affectionately ruffle a hand to his hair.  
"It'll work a treat in your wallet too, won't it?"

Ben reluctantly shifted back to vertical, & looked across into his boyfriend's eyes. "Oh, you're makin' that decision for me now are ya?"  
Callum nodded his way through a chuckle. "Yep, just as I've decided a bigger version of its gonna be framed & take pride of place in the flat". He took a swig of beer, while giving his plans some further thought. "You've got a colour printer at the Lot, ain't ya?"

"Anyone'd think all ya want me for is my laser printer..." Ben quipped readily. "Or is this just an excuse to get me back in that Car Lot office & have yer wicked way with me again?" There was a devilish sparkle in his eyes as he drank from his beer bottle, engaging Callum's gaze down the length of it for the duration.

"Behave yerself," Callum smiled, near enigmatically.  
"I'll take that as a maybe then..." Ben winked, a hand dropping to lay at Callum's thigh & squeeze at it affectionately.

Callum set himself back on the bench seat & quietly observed his partner's hand for a few moments: worn knuckles that had seen more than their share of scrapes & bruises in their time, but an overall gentleness of touch that belied the man's criminal activities.

"Can I ask ya a question about somethin' ya told the police earlier?" Callum requested calmly.  
"Course..." Ben gave a shallow nod of permission, knowing he owed any explanations his man wanted or needed.  
Callum gently placed his hand atop of Ben's: an unspoken indication that no judgement would be made. "Did that voicemail from ya Dad ever even exist? Because we both know ya didn't see Lex this mornin', so she couldn't of deleted it..."

"Fancyin' yerself a rapid promotion to detective now, are ya?" Ben attempted a whimsical smile, but it never threatened to reach his eyes. It was a distraction tactic, & they both knew it.  
"I'm just curious," Callum shrugged. "That's all..."

Ben redistributed his weight heavily in his seat, then gave his boyfriend the information he was seeking. "The voicemail did exist, but I deleted it..."  
Callum puzzled over the revelation for a few moments. "But that was your key to freedom weren't it? I don't understand why you'd delete it..."  
"Because I won't ever give it to the cops on a plate," Ben tried to give his reasoning. "They needed to work for the information, not have it handed to 'em..."

Callum could partially understand that thought process, so accepted it with grace. 

"It ain't like they won't get hold of the voicemail eventually, anyway..." Ben continued to muse. "They'll already be onto the phone company for it...I could obscure it from their view for a while, but all trace of it won't ever be gone..." He suddenly grew more stooped, more pensive than before, as he considered the potential consequences of his actions. "It goes against everythin' he taught me growin' up though: ya don't grass..." 

Callum hated that even when out of the country Phil had such a lasting influence over his son: Ben's fear of rejection ever present. "You haven't grassed..."  
Ben gave a momentary upward glance to his boyfriend, then lowered his gaze again.  
"He told ya to put the blame on 'im, so the police wouldn't be on your back. He'll be relieved you're in the clear!" Having delivered his reassurance Callum took a gulp of beer, needing to re-settle his conscience.

A side vision of Ben with his head leant forlornly into a hand though was all the reminder Callum truly needed as to why he was giving his support to his boyfriend in spite of recent events. His was a man with the weight of familial pressures on his shoulders, & Callum wanted to relieve some of that burden for him.

"I can't contact him until the dust settles...I'm just gonna have to assume that he got there alright..." Ben sighed, staring off wistfully into middle distance.  
Callum knew better than to ask where the location Ben was referring to was: the man had admitted it himself before after all - some secrets were best kept tight. He instead wanted to ensure that Ben wasn't regretting the decisions he'd made. "Are you sure you shouldn't go after him?" He cradled a soothing arm around Ben's back & rubbed affectionately at his arm.

Ben seemed genuinely touched that even this far down the line, Callum was still willing to offer him an out. He settled on returning to their joviality of earlier. "No, I had to stay, didn't I? Couldn't have people goin' into Cokers & seein' your long face, thinkin' the dead had risen, could I?" With a sudden spurt of energy, Ben surged from out of his seat while his boyfriend laughed along with him at his joke.  


Callum stayed where he was at first, fondly watching his man's retreat from the pub, then following on behind.

Once out on the street, he glanced left, then right, looking for some indication of which way his boyfriend had gone. Ben, though, had double-backed into the pub: his sole aim to take revenge for Callum's pinching session of earlier while in the police station.

As Callum continued to look about, bemused as to the disappearing act his boyfriend had done, Ben re-emerged from the pub through the door behind, seizing hold of Callum's waist with one arm, while nipping tiny pinches to his lower back & stomach where his free hand had found a point of entry beneath the man's tartan shirt.

"Ben!" Callum squirmed in the tight grip, to no avail.  
"Us Mitchells never, ever forget a crime committed against us babe..." Ben smirked, standing on tiptoes to deliver his advice over Callum's shoulder, fingers still tickling at the man's skin. "Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Which is it to be Mr Highway: do you surrender?"

"Surrender?" Callum repeated the instruction as if it were an anathema to him, then leaning back defiantly into Ben's touch. "Never..."


	179. Chapter 179

## Unseen scene of 27/01/20

_N.B. Reference made in this to canon scene of same date that took place in Car Lot Office – think Callum perched on the desk; Ben affectionately running a hand along his midriff as he walked around the desk; Kathy coming in relieved to find her son’s still actually in the coutry; Callum just generally being king…_

"Perfect..." Callum hummed contentedly, as he sank down onto the sofa beside his boyfriend & admired the view.

"Your brother ain't gonna be thrilled with that..." Ben sounded a cautionary note, that was part amusement at the thought of Stuart's displeasure. While speaking, he draped his arms over Callum's shoulders, combining his hands together where they came to rest at the man's breastbone.

"My flat: my rules..." Callum snuggled backwards into the close contact between them, eyes never leaving the newly framed photograph that was in the line of vision for both of them. "Pride of place that takes now..." he affirmed happily, then allowing his eyes to drift shut.

Ben continued to stare at the photograph, while nuzzling his face into Callum's hair: something was troubling his mind, & he was trying to find a way to voice it. Eventually he summoned up the courage & spoke. "You lied to my Mum for me today..."

He looked on as Callum's eyes slowly reopened at the near whispered assertion. Careful thought was given by the man before he gave his measured response. "I gave yer mum the answer to the question she asked me. She didn't ask if you were involved; she asked if you did it. Technically, there is a difference between them two things..."

Ben gave some brief nods of his head as he worked to reach a settlement with his boyfriend's reasoning. "I'm sorry," he then admitted hesitantly. "I never meant for any questions to be directed your way..."

Callum shuffled his weight to tilt his head enough to make eye contact. "You were tryin' to protect me, I know..." he sighed. "Maybe it's yer Mum that deserves protectin' more than me though..." He could see confusion etched on Ben's face, so continued to explain. "What good's it gonna do to have her hear the truth: all it would do is cause hurt".

The expression on Ben's face contorted from confusion to pain, which Callum instantly recognised & sought to displace. "We can't change what's 'appened, yeah, but we can make sure nobody else gets hurt by it".

Ben tipped a soft kiss to his boyfriend's forehead, & pondered that if this was what a committed relationship looked & felt like, he might just be capable of handling that. With Callum at his side, the sense was ever growing that nothing could stand in their way: not even Ben himself any more.


	180. Chapter 180

## Unseen scene of 29/01/20

_Houston we have a problem...x_

Ben sent his message with accompanying photograph to Callum, then awaited the reply that he knew would be prompt in coming: which it duly was.

_What happened to putting her to bed? x_

Ben sighed, regretful that the new routine of him nipping across the Square each evening to put his daughter to bed, before returning to his place at Callum's side, had lasted all of two evenings before they hit a snag.

And of course it had to be this particular evening, when the promise of chicken pasta was on the table, with afters, not necessarily of the culinary variety, likely to follow: Stuart was out for the evening, & while Ben was in no way averse to provocatively flaunting right under the nose of the elder Highway the fulfilling sex life he & Callum enjoyed, Ben best liked it when they had the place to themselves & they could simply be.

Best-laid plans looked likely to be thwarted though, as Lexi was currently fast asleep in Ben's arms on Billy's sofa: complaining of feeling unwell, without either Lola or Jay in situ as both were working late, & the little girl refusing point blank to be left in the care of her grandfather. It was a snapshot of that particular scene Ben had just messaged to his boyfriend.

_Says she's feeling sick; won't leave my side...x_

Ben adored being a father to Lexi, really he did, but not quite so much on occasions like this, when she threatened to derail his sex life.

_So bring her over here? x_

The simplicity of Callum's latest response near knocked Ben for six, as he absorbed the gesture being made: this was Callum making room for Lexi in the little bubble he & Ben shared. He didn't have time to dwell much further on that heart-warming notion though, as he saw Callum was typing again.

_We can make her snug on the sofa, then Lola can pick her up when she's finished at work...x_

There was a level of practicality in Callum's latest suggestion, the fact being that there wasn't suitable space in the flat to accommodate the little girl for the night, without her either having a rude awakening from Stuart's likely late-night return, or an inappropriate three-in-a-bed scenario. 

_Plenty of chicken pasta going if she decides she fancies some...x_

Callum's running commentary of suggestions continued, & Ben's heart swelled a little more with each one. He had to be absolutely certain though that this wasn't pushing their concept of commitment too fast, too soon.

_You sure about this? She will monopolise the place... x_

Ben sent his latest message, then glanced down fondly at his little girl, who was cut entirely of his own mould.

_Can't exactly be any more demanding than her Dad, can she? x_

The sound of Callum's familiar chuckle echoed in the words of his reply, even as his flurry of messages recommenced.

_Bring her..._

_I'll just slip a few clothes on under this apron of mine 😜 _

Ben near choked on the visual image Callum had presented him with: the sound waking the little girl in the process. "Come on little one..." Ben prompted softly, scooping Lexi up in his arms. "We've got ourselves a date for the evenin'..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who is about to suggest I am now stalling for time in moving from fun, happy Ballum to angst-ridden Ballum, would of course be completely correct!
> 
> I do think though there's a need to enhance the Callum/Lexi relationship before the Ballum world turns on its axis & deals more difficult cards again - if for no other reason than this should make future familial scenes between them seem more of an evolution than the jump it could otherwise appear: canon hadn't even shown Lexi in Callum's flat until Ben's point of view episode, I think, which makes her apparently being so at home there on that day seem unlikely without a little _UnScene_ backstory...
> 
> Angst update though - I have at least started to rewatch the kidnap scenes to try to get some sort of narrative handle on the turbulence to come...


	181. Chapter 181

## Unseen scene of 29/01/20

Ben climbed the final few steps into Callum's flat, carrying Lexi with her face buried tight into his neck, & a blanket around her for warmth. He emerged into the main living space to find his boyfriend there, awaiting their arrival.

"Sorry..." Ben mouthed apologetically, but was instantly reassured it wasn't a bother by the gentle shake of Callum's head, as accompanied by a warm smile.

"Hey little lady..." Callum ventured softly, bending at the knees to bring himself in line with Lexi's eye level. "So your Daddy tells me you ain't feelin' too great..." His enquiry was met with a faint shake of the head by Lexi, who appeared almost shy in her father's arms. Callum though was unperturbed. "Ya know what always makes me feel a bit better when I'm feelin' poorly?"

Again the little girl coyly shook her head, but her eyes peeked out in Callum's direction for the first time.  
He met her enquiring gaze with a bright smile. "Warm blackcurrant squash & a ginger biscuit, that's what..."

Callum let the suggestion hang in the air, as both men watched the gentle coaxing of the little girl from her shell. "D'ya reckon that might be worth a try for you?"  
Lexi lifted her head away from her father's body & looked him in the eye for permission, which Ben duly gave with a nod of his head.  
"Then maybe if they go down alright, a little bit of chicken pasta to follow..." Callum continued to cajole gently.

Lexi lifted her thumb & forefinger to indicate a minuscule gap between the two digits. "Maybe just a teeny-weeny bit..." she agreed, still timidly, but already a little brighter.  
Callum chuckled. "Just a teeny-weèny bit..." he confirmed in repetition while exchanging a knowing glance with Ben. "So how about you take your Daddy over to the sofa & tuck into the ginger biscuits & blackcurrant I've put over there, & I'll finish up sortin' our tea..."

Lexi gave nod of approval, while Ben admired his man through grateful, if entirely disbelieving, eyes.

"Just don't let your Daddy eat all them biscuits Lex, or he'll spoil his dinner..." Callum jested while he turned away in the direction of the kitchen, leaving father & daughter to settle down on the sofa alone.

As Callum pottered his way about the kitchen, humming a tune gently to himself, Ben was captivated by the sight from his position afar on the sofa. (With Lexi gently ensconced in his arms, watching cartoons on the television & nibbling her way through a biscuit, Ben had no more pressing an engagement than watching his man at work after all).

Callum was at complete ease within his environment, bustling around efficiently with various pots & pans. His aforementioned apron gathered around his body: a hand occasionally wiped down it to remove excess muck or grease. 

Five days on since Ben had blustered his way back into Callum's life, & here they were settled into their own unique version of domesticity: Ben still unable to fathom quite how he'd been accepted into it with such grace & charity.

Callum glanced up from his chopping of vegetables to find Ben's gaze set firm upon him, so raised an eyebrow of questioning in return. Ben simply responding with the softest of smiles that was instantly returned back to him: ocean blue eyes sharing their dazzling connection between garishly-decorated walls. 

Ben suddenly uncertain he'd ever felt truly at home in his life...Until now.


	182. Chapter 182

## Unseen scene of 29/01/20

"How've you even managed that?" Ben marvelled in awe, as he slipped his arms around Callum's waist & dealt a delicate kiss to his shoulderblade, while they both stood behind the kitchen counter, watching Lexi tucking into a bowl of icecream.

"What have I done?" Callum seemed uncertain, dropping his hands to rest atop his boyfriend's.

"You bein' serious?" Ben huffed hot air in close to the man's neck. "You got my little girl to eat chicken pasta and icecream when she's feelin' unwell, & you think it's nothin'? Seriously babe, I've seen Jay all but force feed her, & Lo march her off to bed without any tea on days she's said she's sick before. You though, you've just got her to eat a two-course meal just like that..."

Callum quietly beamed at the compliment. "Sometimes it's just about havin' a little bit of what ya fancy..."  
"Mmm..." Ben concurred at a whispered hum to his ear. "Know exactly what I fancy right now..."

"Behave..." Callum chuckled, barely disguising his true thoughts on the matter. "Anyway, if them are the tactics Jay & Lola use when Lex's poorly, what do you normally do?"

"Bribery all the way..." Ben returned at a confessional whisper, then rolling up on to his tiptoes to snicker kisses to Callum's jawline. "Sweets...chocolate...fizzy drinks..." he clarified punctuating each description with a further kiss. "You name it, I've tried it..."

He didn't allow Callum to intervene with any suggestion of his own, instead sidling his way around the man's body to slide in the gap between Callum & the counter. Once there, Ben drew his hands slowly up his man's sides, eventually leaving them to drape across his shoulders. 

"All forbidden fruits ya see..." Ben's eyes twinkled into Callum's, while his lips sought out staccato connections with the man's lips & early evening stubble. "Just like this is now..."

Callum's demeanour attempted sternness as to how inappropriate Ben's flirting was given the nearby vicinity of his daughter, but he couldn't quite carry it off. "Ya really think we're doin' this now?"

"Can't see a reason why not..." Ben supplied while continuing his persuasive assault of lips to skin.  
"What about the fact your daughter's just over there at the table?" Callum cast a cautious glance in the little girl's direction.  
"With her back turned to us, & still tucking into her icecream .." Ben countered back, bringing his lips to within inches of Callum's & gazing up alluringly into his eyes. "Can still hear the chinking of her spoon against the bowl..."

Callum was always readily persuaded by Ben in such close proximity, & they both knew it. "You're a very naughty man Ben Mitchell..." He huffed out through heated breath of exasperation, then letting their lips fumble together anyway.

"Says the man who was messagin' me about bein' commando beneath his apron!" Ben smirked.

Callum leant back to break the continuity of the kiss, still though instigating charged pecked exchanges between their lips through their chat. "Focused yer mind on gettin' over here though, didn't it?" Somewhere amongst his words, his hands slid to clutch at Ben's backside.

"Had been holdin' out for a photo..." Ben quirked an eyebrow, enjoying the flirtatious interplay, & raising it further by teasing his tongue along Callum's lower lip. He didn't miss the characteristic gulping bob of the man's Adam's Apple: a sure sign he was swallowing down on rising desire.

"Couldn't get the angle right on the photo to do it justice..." Callum retaliated with a nip to the younger man's bottom lip. "Ya needed to see it in real life to get the desired effect..."

It was Ben's turn to relent from their embrace, as he steadied himself against the counter to draw his gaze appreciatively down, then up, Callum's body. "That so, is it?" He jutted his chin upwards, so he could look through his lashes with ever increasing lust.

Callum didn't get a chance to reply, as they were interrupted by the sound of the flat's door buzzer. "Easy tiger..." he chuckled through his own aroused amusement, giving an affectionate tap to Ben's arse.

He then cleared his throat as he moved across to lift the receiver. "Reckon this might be your Mummy little Lexi..."

Ben quite frankly needed a moment to compose himself, grateful for the cover provided by the kitchen counter to his manhood. Something of Callum's nurturing approach with Lexi had stirred the most unexpected of feelings in Ben through the evening, & now topped off by the promise of some adult-only time to follow, was proving quite the combination to handle.

He watched on in fond adoration as Callum slotted back into interacting with first just Lexi, then Lola too, with ease. The consummate family man before Ben's very eyes.

"What miracle ya worked on this one then?" Lola's jesting remark cut into Ben's spiralling thoughts. "I've been 'ere nearly a minute already & he ain't said a word..." She waved a hand in Ben's direction, to indicate he was the subject of her enquiry.

Callum smiled brightly. "Told him he's on washin' up duty if he don't behave 'imself".  
"As if..." Ben interjected, recognising he needed to get a grip. "These hands of mine ain't made for housework".  
"I've lived with ya, remember..." Lola tutted. "Ya don't need tell me about yer aversion to washin' up, dryin' up, or housework on general for that matter..."

Having delivered her comeuppance, Lola moved across to her daughter. "So you magically feelin' better after a few hours with Callum & yer Daddy?" She affectionately ran her fingers through Lexi's hair while she delivered her suspicious appraisal.

Lexi glanced wide-eyed at Callum, knowing her feigned illness had been rumbled; her reasons for doing it quite obviously being the wish to spend some time with her father.

Callum had suspected so all along, but continued to play along regardless. "A teeny-weeny bit better, eh Lex?" he offered the little girl a wink.  
"A teeny-weeny bit..." she nodded back earnestly, again using her thumb & forefinger to indicate the scale of improvement.

Lola shook her head mock disapprovingly at the mischief so obviously on display. "Right, home to bed for you little miss..." Collecting her daughter's coat up from the side, she held it open for Lexi to shuffle in to.  
"Daddy do up my zip for me?" Lexi demanded with fierce insistence.  
"But of course princess..." Ben humbly bowed as he moved to position himself in front of his daughter, kneeling down to fiddle with the zip on her coat.

While he was there, Lexi cupped a tiny hand to his ear, then whispered into it eagerly.  
Ben listened intently to what she had to say, then looked upwards with a warming smile that was directed first to his daughter, then to Callum, then back to Lexi again. "I think you'd have to ask him that yourself, princess..."

Callum looked on intrigued, as it became apparent he was the subject of their conversation.  
Lexi gave her father a nod of understanding, then turned to look up at Callum directly. "Callum..." she began quietly, making puppy dog eyes at the man. "Can you carry me home? I'm still not feelin' that well after all..."

It was Callum's turn to glance between father & daughter, seeking reassurance from both that what she was asking of him was ok.

Ben simply gave a gentle nod of approval, scooping the little girl up in his arms, standing back up to vertical, & then passing her across to Callum. "Just don't go thinkin' your keepin' him for yerself all night little miss..." he chuckled as he pressed a soft goodnight kiss to Lexi's forehead, then paused long enough to deal a tender kiss to Callum's cheek as well. "I need him back to do all this washin' up, after all..."

“I won’t Daddy, I promise…” Lexi squealed in excitement.  
As Callum beamed with unabashed pride, Ben directed an encouraging wink in his direction, while Lola voiced up another cynical comment. “And there goes yet another one my girl’s got wrapped around her little finger…”


	183. Chapter 183

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody stop me...
> 
> 🤨😏

## Unseen scene of 29/01/20

“Well, I guess that’s another thing she’s got in common with her Dad…” Callum chuckled softly at the realisation Lexi had fallen fast asleep in his arms midway across the Square. “The ability to fall asleep any place, any time…”

Lola smiled fondly. “Yeah, she’s pretty much got two speeds: frenetic or comatose…”  
“Again, like her Dad…” Callum laughed warmly.  
“I can take her from here ya know…” Lola suggested. “You get back to Ben…”  
“I’m seein’ ya both home safely & that’s then end of it,” Callum dismissed the mere thought. “Can’t be too careful these days, especially after dark…”

Lola greeted his generosity with a grateful smile. “So how are things with you & Ben anyway?”  
“Amazin’,” Callum beamed with absolute honesty.  
She had known the answer without having to ask the question really, having seen the easy sense of happiness shared by the two men for herself. “What was the whole disappearin’ act Ben was threatenin’ to pull last week about then?”

Callum sighed heavily, mid-adjustment of Lexi’s position in his arms. “Phil…” he sighed again. “It’s always about Phil, ain’t it…”  
Lola paused to place a reassuring hand to his arm. “But Ben chose you in the end, yeah…”  
“Yeah,” Callum nodded. “Yeah, he did…”  
“Which is massive…” Lola’s eyes widened for added impact as she emphasised the final word. “And that’s completely down to you Callum. Never, ever forget that ok? Ben chose you over everythin’ & everyone…”

Callum shifted his weight from one foot to the other: a little bashful at the notion, although privately thrilled beneath his embarrassed exterior. He was spared from any further discomfort though by the boisterous arrival of Jay from across the street.  
“Oi, oi, proper little family scene playin’ out here ain’t there? Should I be worried?” As if to demonstrate he was only jesting, he looped an arm around Lola’s waist & delivered a kiss to her cheek.  
Callum decided to play along, displaying a broad grin. “Sorry to disappoint, but I’m one of them gays actually…”

“Speakin’ of which,” Jay sniffed out his amusement. “Where’s the Square’s self-appointed head gay? Though the two of ya were joined at the hip nowadays…”  
Lola’s eyebrows raised. “Reckon they’ve been joined at more unmentionable points than the hip if the smile on this one’s face is anythin’ to go by lately…”

Callum expelled a loud cough, determined to derail that particular line of conversation, “Right, well if Jay’s ok for seein’ ya home from ‘ere, I’ll be makin’ tracks…”  
“See what I mean?” Lola smirked. “Can’t wait to get back to the action can he/”  
Jay’s brow furrowed at the suggestion: he was all for a spot of light ribbing, but still prickled at the notion of hearing the finer points of Ben & Callum’s sex life. “Yep well, you hand the littl’un over ‘ere & you can be merrily on your way back to …whatever…”

Callum was grateful of the opportunity for escape, carefully passing Lexi’s sleeping form across into Jay’s arms with due diligence & attention. “Say night to her from me when ya get her home, yeah?” he implored softly.  
“And you say night to Ben from us too…” Lola winked.

Callum simply shook his head at the mischief in play & began to make his retreat. "Night all…” He couldn’t stop smiling to himself though at the little family unit he now increasingly found himself to be at the beating heart of: a thought he was so preoccupied by that he was back at the flat & ascending its staircase in no time.

“I’m back…” he called out as he discarded his keys to one side.  
“Just in the bedroom…” Ben’s call returned. “Be with ya in one second…”  
“That little girl of yours is an absolute treasure…” Callum offered his conversational observation as he wandered through to the kitchen, where sure enough he found the washing up had been left untouched.  
“Takes after her Dad, don’t she…” Ben mused back cheekily.

Callum hummed contentedly to himself as he ran the hot tap & enjoyed the blissful domesticity they’d fallen into: easy-going chat despite being separated by a wall; a real sense that nothing could touch them when they were in this, their own little world. God, he’d even put up with Ben’s laziness in the housework department if he could have this for all time, Callum silently affirmed.

He squirted a dollop of washing up liquid into the sink & watched the solution intermingle with the water to create bubbles of soapy froth. “See ya didn’t quite have time to get around to the washin’ up…” he quipped sassily. 

“Was literally just about to start it…” Ben’s voice became clearer as he started to emerge from the bedroom. “Was just gettin’ changed first…”  
Callum slipped the first of the glasses into the water & began to scrub at it. “You don’t need to get changed to do the washin’ up Ben…” he shook his head in amusement at the brazen lie.

“Fancied slippin’ into somethin’ a bit more comfortable, didn’t I?” Ben sniffed casually. “You seen a dryin’ up towel anywhere?”  
Callum, already focused on his task in hand, threw a generic nod over his shoulder in a vague direction without actually looking away from the sink. “There’s one just over there…”

Ben’s lips formed a pout at the hurtful choice of washing up over himself, but was determined not to be defeated. “Where babe? I can’t see it…”  
Callum expelled a light huff, knowing this to be utterly typical of his boyfriend: unable to look further than his own nose; expecting someone else to do the donkey work for him. Callum would always be the one to step in & rescue him though. 

Shaking the residue of water & bubbles from his hands, Callum turned slowly to point out to his boyfriend exactly where the article in question was, but was stopped firmly in his tracks by the sight that awaited him. 

“Cat got ya tongue babe?” Ben smirked deliciously, as he peered seductively back across his own shoulder to look his man square in the eye: the shoulder across which the offending drying-up towel was already draped, no less. 

That was a matter of little consequence for Callum in the moment though, as his eyes instead feasted on the sight lower down, of Ben’s naked arse cheeks, the rear-tying belt of the apron that adorned the frontal portion of his body gathered loosely above them.

The instantaneous near devouring swipe of tongue to lower lip by Callum all the indication either of them needed that washing up was suddenly the very last thing on his mind.


	184. Chapter 184

## Unseen scene of 03/02/20

Ben leant his weight idly against the awning to the flat as he admired the form of his unsuspecting boyfriend: Callum, preoccupied in the kitchen, had no suspicion Ben was standing there, let alone that he was regarding him intently.

With head bowed as he focused on something before him on the worktop, Callum cast a hand roughly through his hair: his brow furrowing slightly as he gave consideration to whatever it was he was looking at.

"Penny for 'em..." Ben spoke out, unable from his position to see what was occupying his boyfriend's attention, but sensing it was something that was making him ill-at-ease.

Callum near jumped out of his skin at the surprise interjection of Ben's voice. "Where did you creep in from?" he spluttered out after a poorly-disguised anxious cough.

"Been invited over for a lunch date with a hotty..." Ben winked, beginning to sidle over in Callum's direction. "Ya happen to of seen him anywhere?" Ben didn't miss the hasty sweep by Callum of whatever it was he'd been looking at into a kitchen drawer; you couldn't kid a kidder, after all.

"Can't say I've noticed him..." Callum attempted casual, as he scratched irritably at the hairs on the back of his neck. He could kick himself for being so careless: when he'd suggested a cosy lunch break back at the flat, he'd been oblivious to the fact the day's post had already arrived. If he'd known, he'd have steered them well clear, in favour of later privacy in opening that one particular piece of mail.

"Don't matter..." Ben continued their exchange as he slipped off his coat. "Reckon I've managed to track him down all by myself..." He stepped into Callum's space & initiated a gentle kiss between them, humming into it to voice his pleasure.

Even though on edge, Callum couldn't help but relent into Ben's advance, steadily shifting his stance to face the younger man & partake more fully of the kiss.

Ben continued to hum out his satisfaction, lightly fisting his hands to the front of Callum's shirt. "Mmm, this your way of tellin' me it's you that's on the lunch menu in place of actual food?"

Callum thought quickly on his feet, offering an appeasing smile as their mouths remained in close proximity: he had planned on rustling something up for them, but that notion had been forgotten upon his opening the mail. "Thought we'd order somethin' in, didn't I? Don't wanna be wastin' our time with cookin'..."

"A man truly after my own heart..." Ben grinned in appreciation of the sentiment, resting his hands on each of Callum's upper arms & rubbing gently. "So..." he tried for nonchalance. "What was that ya hid away from me when I walked in? We ain't keepin' secrets, are we..."

"Dunno what yer talkin' about..." Callum tried hard to hide that his insides were squirming.  
"Yeah ya do..." Ben tried to snake a hand behind his boyfriend's back to reach for the kitchen drawer. "Ya ferreted somethin' away in here when I came in..."

As Ben threatened to tug the drawer open, Callum launched a hand to hold it firmly shut. "Valentines soon, ain't it..." he immediately suggested. "Maybe I've got you a surprise..."

Ben looked his man firmly in the eye, as if scanning suspiciously for any hint of dishonesty. "Oh, we're doin' that whole over-commercialised nonsense are we?"  
Callum sighed. "It's what most people call romantic, Ben..."  
"Hmm," Ben looked & sounded unconvinced, but wrapped his arms around his man's waist anyhow. "Remind me what date it is again..."

Callum shook his head, knowing he was being toyed with. "Ya know exactly what date it is..." He tapped a finger to the bridge of his boyfriend's nose. "Just like you & I know you've already got me a present for it, & where you've hidden it in this flat..."

Ben tilted his head to one side: his jaw threatening to jut out at the realisation of just how transparent he was to Callum: not that he'd ever actually admit it though. He smirked playfully. "Don't need to wait til Valentines to unwrap the present I've got waitin' for you babe..."

Callum exhaled on a breath of amusement, & considered shaking his head at his boyfriend's crude attempt at getting him into bed on a Monday lunchtime. He suddenly thought otherwise though, at the realisation it would be a ready way to distract Ben from what was really in the kitchen drawer.

"Yeah?" Callum chuckled breathily, sealing his lips to Ben's. "You gonna put a bow on it for me?"  
"Only if ya ask very, very nicely..." Ben grinned into their kiss, spinning their combined bodies around, then pushing Callum to walk backwards into the bedroom.


	185. Chapter 185

## Unseen scene of 03/02/20

"Wow..." Ben beamed between shallow breaths. "We should definitely do that more often..."  
"Seconded!" Callum enthused, the heaving rise & fall of his chest sustaining not just himself, but Ben also, as the younger man lay flushed & sprawled atop of him in bed.

Ben tipped his chin upwards to pucker a gentle kiss between them, soothing lips reddened by desire with the balm of suddenly having all the time in the world.

"Extended lunch break then, is it?" Callum chortled when their mouths eventually drifted apart.  
"Might just give meself the afternoon off for good behaviour..." Ben agreed with a soft smile.  
"Very good behaviour," Callum concurred wistfully with a hum of approval, linking his thumbs at the nape of Ben's neck & stroking rhythmically.

Ben regarded his man closely, as if searching for a hidden key: grazing fingerprints to stubble, he ventured to question tactfully. "You gonna let me in on that secret you're hidin' away in the kitchen now then?"

Callum tried to appear casually defiant as their lips continued to flirt hot breaths with just inches to spare between them. "We've just had mind-blowin' sex & your brain's still intent on the contents of my kitchen drawers?"

Ben was unimpressed: his lips pouted in demonstration of the fact. "I know a distraction tactic when I see one babe, & although this one of yours has been mighty fine, I ain't forgotten yer hidin' something from me..."

They directed a challenging stare toward each other, Ben's hand still loosely clutching to Callum's chin, as if preventing him from dodging the intensity of the moment.  
"Alright, fine..." Callum reluctantly conceded with a grumble. "Shift yer bones off me & I'll go get what I was lookin' at..."

Ben greeted the climb down with the sort of appeasing acknowledgement it deserved, reinstating their kiss & letting his tongue roam invitingly along Callum's lower lip. "Whatever it is babe..." he sing-songed out. "It's just the intermission before round two..." With that he rolled his weight gracefully off the taller man, settling to lie instead on his side, with his head propped in his hand.

Callum took that as his signal to go, shuffling his weight to the edge of the bed & swinging his legs around until they met with the floor. As he used his wide-arm span to grab the dressing gown from the back of the door, Ben gave an appreciative wolf whistle.

"Missin' ya already babe..." were Ben's parting words that reached Callum as he stepped from the bedroom, earning a simple tut of displeasure in response

Ben in truth had no clue what it was his boyfriend had gone to such efforts to hide from him, but suspected it was something of reasonable magnitude to have prevented Callum from holding out for this long. Fiddling his hands among the bed covers to promote a little decorum among proceedings for a short while at least, Ben tugged a sheet over his midriff, & quietly waited, listening intently for the first hint of Callum's return.


	186. Chapter 186

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance: I just can't get the flow of this chapter & dislike it thoroughly. That said though, I can't make it any better, so I'm just putting it out there & hoping I get the rhythm back in the next chapter 🥺
> 
> Still, at least I resolve the question of what Callum's been hiding...kind of...

## Unseen scene of 03/02/20

"Was beginnin' ta think you'd got lost..." Ben chided mischievously upon his boyfriend's eventual return to the bedroom.  
"Made a visit to the little boy's room en route..." Callum returned, evidently distracted.

Ben decided it best to bite down the obvious innuendo on the tip of his tongue. "That it then?" he nodded instead in the direction of the tri-folded sheet of paper in the elder man's hand.  
"Yeah..." Callum confirmed through a sigh, placing the document beside Ben on the bed covers, then letting his own weight fold its way down to sit alongside them.

Ben still had the unshakeable sense this was something of concern for Callum, so he paid due diligence to responding with an appropriate level of attention. Wrestling the pillows away from his head, he set them against the bed's headboard, then perched himself up straight against them. Carefully unfolding the sheet of paper between his fingers, Ben drew his knees partway up towards his chest, gave a throat-clearing cough, then began to read the words as they revealed themselves to him.

Barely two seconds later, he attempted to stifle a laugh. "What, that's it?" He didn't mean to sound quite so dismissive, but did on occasion still marvel at his man's tendency towards a total lack of context. "Your police assessment's next Monday: that's the big news here? Seriously babe, I was thinkin' you'd committed some kind of heinous crime or somethin'..."

"It is big news for me..." Callum stated forlornly, causing Ben to promptly reassess his responses & reactions.  
"Ain't..." Ben fumbled about for a suitable tone. "I ain't underminin' how big this is for you: just thought you'd be more excited about it, that's all..."

The two men slid into an awkward silence, as Callum struggled with the knowledge of his imminent date with destiny, while Ben returned his focus to the letter in his hands & scoured its contents for every single detail. A dark worry was beginning to creep through his being as he read though, causing his brow to markedly furrow.

"You wouldn't of even told me about this if I hadn't caught ya red-handed, would ya?" Ben's was an uncomfortable assertion that they both recognised to be true: for a couple that were supposedly building themselves on the foundations of trust & honesty, it was a devastating detail.

Callum leant his head back against the wall: dealing it a loud thud in the process. "Wouldn't tell anyone at all if I had my way..." he confessed, self-conscious all of a sudden.

It was in those words of admission that Ben heard him for the first time in months: old-school, self-defeating Callum: rather than the tower of a man he knew so much of & worshipped today. 

Finally, Ben began to understand for once in his life, that not everything in the world revolved directly around him. This wasn't about Callum intentionally keeping secrets from Ben: it was instead about Callum hiding behind his own fears.

Ben couldn't - wouldn't - have that, so neatly folded the letter back up along it's original creases, placed it carefully to one side, then tugged gently at the sleeve of the dressing gown wrapped round his man. 

"Come 'ere..." he directed with tender authority.  
Callum tilted his head from its position against the wall to engage his boyfriend with an expression of bewilderment.  
"How about I quit the smart backchat for once, & you stop tryin' to distract my attention..." Ben just smiled back easily. "And you tell me what this is all really about..."


	187. Chapter 187

## Unseen scene of 03/02/20

Ben dipped his chin to rest it on Callum's shoulder, having guided his man into the space between his spread-eagled legs. "Talk to me sexy..." he then softly cajoled.

Callum sank his weight back against Ben's torso, & sighed deeply: part in acknowledgement of the comfort being provided; part in dismay at how pathetically he deemed himself to be behaving.

"The more people who know about that assessment, the more people I 'ave to explain myself to when it turns out I ain't up to the job..." Callum eventually admitted cautiously, grateful that in their current position his boyfriend couldn't see into his eyes.

"Callum," Ben instantly tried to entreat earnestly, wrapping reassuring arms tight to the man's midriff. "You are brilliant, a true force of nature, & quite simply the best man I know. There ain't no way you're gonna fail their tests..." Caressing a gentle kiss to Callum's collarbone, he then waited, statuesque, to see how that assertion would be absorbed.

The answer came in Callum's partial shy away from his touch. "It's pointless me tryin'a explain this to ya Ben..." he huffed out on a regret-laden breath. 

Ben's eyes narrowed in consternation at the rebuffal: concern rife in his mind that his boyfriend didn't think them capable of open, understanding communication after everything they'd recently come through. Callum had listened to, & read between the lines of, countless challenging subject matters to fall from Ben's lips: why did the assumption remain that the younger man couldn't do similar in return?

Ben shook his head to chase away such lingering negativity, & tried for encouragement again. "Try me..."

Callum's eyes rolled up to stare at the ceiling as he recognised he had little option but to do his boyfriend the courtesy of talking. "You're gonna think I'm bein' ridiculous..."  
"Does it even matter if I do?" Ben questioned back in return, leaning his chin to Callum's shoulder once more. "Surely we're way beyond castin' judgements on each other, ain't we?"

Callum could hardly deny that particular viewpoint given the unwavering support he had shown Ben in recent weeks. Wanting to acknowledge & reinforce that sense of trust between them, he briefly tilted his head to seek out Ben's lips to peck a kiss between them.

With that tender brush of solidarity delivered, Callum returned his head & gaze to their previous positions, & began to speak. "You all think yer 'elping: tellin' me how brilliant I am, but all I feel is it pilin' up the pressure on me..."  
Ben stayed still, other than a momentary quiver from his cheek muscles, as he fought to remind himself Callum's words weren't a criticism, but instead an honest appraisal of his own feelings.

"What if I can't live up to everyone else's billin' of me Ben?" Callum's heartfelt query shattered through Ben's private monologue.

Ben scowled in dismay at the suggestion: his boyfriend's perception of inferiority cutting through him like a knife. "Does it even matter what anyone else thinks? So long as you know you've done yer best?"

Something in that notion seemed to click for Callum: not least the irony that he was receiving motivational quotations from one Ben Mitchell, who invariably failed to practice what he was currently preaching, particularly when it came to one Phil Mitchell. "You really think that?" Callum squirmed himself free from Ben's hold until he lay sideways on the bed, regarding his man intently.

Ben greeted the ability to look his boyfriend direct in the eye with a soft, beguiling smile. "Said it the other day didn't I? You make me wanna be better, & that's because I know you try your best every single day..."

Ben too shuffled his weight down & around, until they were laying face-to-face, body-to-body, with their heads occupying the same pillow. He reached out slowly to stroke fingers to Callum's stubble. "Let's face it babe: there's only one person in this relationship who should have any sort of inferiority complex, & it ain't you..."

Callum admired the cajoling sentiment, yet detested it in equal measure, never wanting Ben to think they were anything but equals in their relationship. "Maybe I make you wanna be better, & you actually make me better every day..." he ventured at a whisper.  
"Maybe..." Ben agreed with an affectionate whisper of his own, feeling a drum of pride in his heartbeat. 

They sank then into a leisurely kiss, taking their time to be at one with each other for a while: reassuring, reaffirming, reminding. 

Only when Ben was certain he had _his_ Callum back, did he venture to submerge the man with his body weight, pressing the taller man over onto his back, & straddling his own weight directly on top of him.

"And ya know what babe, if all else fails..." Ben began cheekily, peppering lustful kisses to his man's neck. "At least I've already taught ya a few tricks for dealin' with a cocky little shit in a police interview room..."  
Callum chuckled at his boyfriend's playfulness, knowing it to be Ben's way of lifting him from the doldrums, & appreciating it too. 

"Oh yeah..." Callum concurred, gripping his hands to Ben's exposed arse cheeks & squeezing them firmly. "I know exactly how to deal with cocky little shits..."

With a hungry smirk playing out across his features, Callum surged his weight upwards to knock Ben from his perch & gain the upper hand in their jinks. With the tables now turned, & Ben pinned to the mattress beneath Callum, the latter began a full-on assault on his man's mouth.

Ben surrendered to the incursion immediately, moaning his acceptance of Callum's dominance into their kiss, & enjoying the near bruising connection of their tongues & lips.

When they eventually parted for air, lips reddened & moistened from their contact, & pupils blown with desire, Ben caved with a knowing laugh. "Just to be absolutely clear though babe, stickin' yer tongue down the throat of every cocky suspect ya meet ain't exactly an established police tactic..."

"Quieten down Mitchell..." Callum playfully growled. "Or I'll be havin' t'make a citizen's arrest..."  
"Oh yeah?" Ben smirked. "On what grounds?"

Callum crashed their lips back together as he gave a moment's thought, then pulled away to trace the tip of his tongue along his own upper lip. "Stealin' my heart..." He raised a questioing eyebrow as he made the provocative suggestion.

"Better arrest me then, hadn't ya..." Ben grinned, raising his arms above his head in surrender, while the words _ guilty as charged_ swam about his head. And as Callum set about his own unique interpretation of a citizen's arrest, Ben privately dared to admit that perhaps his own heart had been stolen too.


	188. Chapter 188

## Unseen scene of 10/02/20

Ben squinted through the haze created by a combination of the dim light & his limited vision without the varifocal assistance of either glasses or contact lenses. Even without any such visual aids, & in the near darkness the bedroom was shrouded in given the lateness of the hour, he could still make out the form of his boyfriend creeping steadily away from the bed & out into the living space of the flat.

Ben sighed heavily as Callum carefully pulled the door to, frustrated at this now familiar regime they had somehow slipped into: Callum waking in the early hours, fretting about his ever-looming police assessment & unable to sleep, so sneaking away to read up on another chapter of his training manual for a while.

Callum, thinking himself the diligent boyfriend, always made sure he crept away quietly - not wanting to disturb Ben from his slumber, & always returning to their bed a few hours later, leaving Ben apparently oblivious he'd been absent at all.

Ben, mindful of being a supportive partner who was alert to his man's current anxieties, always pretending to be fast asleep both as Callum left their bed & returned some hours later. 

Ben expelled a sharp huff of air as he found himself amused by the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, the thought appearing fleetingly in his mind that maybe they were an actual pair of idiots. Maybe even an actual pair of idiots in love.

After Callum's admission that he was struggling with the pressure of others' expectations, they'd agreed a truce whereby his assessment wouldn't be a topic of conversation between them, unless Callum himself specifically indicated he wanted it to be.

Ben knew without having to ask that it was the written section of the assessment that was freaking Callum out the most: he'd likely smash the physical segment without even breaking sweat, while his friendly personality would charm those on the interview panel in seconds. 

The thought of an hour's written test on law enforcement clearly had Callum rattled though, so Ben had now dutifully turned a blind eye to his boyfriend's late night cramming sessions for six long consecutive nights.

Tonight, though - the final night before Callum's assessment - would be different, Ben silently resolved. There were means of demonstrating support & solidarity without adding pressure to the situation, after all.

He swivelled his body weight out from the bed, grabbing his glasses from the side, & taking care to replace the duvet to maintain the levels of warmth beneath. 

Slowly, unobtrusively, he then shuffled his weight out of the bedroom, pausing momentarily in the kitchen to flick a switch on the kettle, then continuing to pad his bare feet along the floor & on into the bathroom.

Callum, already pouring his way through the latest pages of his training manual, seemed barely aware of his boyfriend's presence, even as the sound of the flushing toilet came from behind the wall.

As Ben emerged from the bathroom he cast a glance across in the direction of Callum, seated on the sofa with a stash of textbooks all around him. Ben smiled fondly at the sight, then stifled a yawn as he pattered his feet back into the kitchen. 

With the mix of chinking & clattering noises coming from across the room, Callum had finally become aware of Ben being in situ, although neither man acknowledged the other through words or expression.

Puzzled by his boyfriend's agenda though, Callum placed his textbook on his lap, watching on quietly as Ben carried a mug of steaming liquid over in his direction: Callum smiling gratefully at the welcome aroma of hot chocolate as it reached him.

Ben continued in his understated task, placing the mug on the table, then gently rubbing a hand to his man's shoulder. "Tomorrow night, we sleep in like kings, yeah?" he spoke softly, leaning down to press a single kiss to Callum's temple.

"Promise..." Callum affirmed in equally tender tones, the realisation reaching him that Ben had been aware of his nocturnal study habits all along.

"I'll be holdin' ya to that," Ben blew a goodnight kiss as he began to back slowly away. "Good night, my sexy police geek..."

Callum made to catch the kiss & held it close to his heart, prompting an adoring smile to blossom over Ben's features: the elder man then chuckled heartily, sending his own airborne kiss in return. "Good night my equally sexy barista..." 

Ben too made a show of catching the kiss sent to him, capturing it & seeming to tuck it safely away in the chest-level faux pocket that was a design feature of the t-shirt he was wearing. At that, he stepped away into the darkness of the bedroom, closing the door behind him, & unseen by Callum, leaning back against the door to steady himself, as three little words fluttered their way from his heart to his head.


	189. Chapter 189

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, a little context for this chapter, if you will…  
In my eyes, following on from the previous chapter, Ben went back to bed, & Callum also returned there to his arms a couple of hours later. They then went through their normal morning routine without discussion of the police assessment – as per Callum’s wishes – other than the subtle difference from usual of Ben serving his man up a hearty breakfast: his means of showing support without voicing it. They then went their separate ways, as we saw from canon – Callum to the launderette with his suit, Ben winding up at the Caff where he ran into Dennis.
> 
> This chapter picks up from canon after Stuart searched out Ben in the Caff & admitted he might have just put his foot in it with Callum, so was asking for Ben’s help. As an aside, rewatching that scene, I was particularly struck by Ben’s response – “there goes my boy in blue…” – Ben’s apparent flippancy to Callum’s chosen career seems totally at odds with the support he has shown & will later show again to Callum, so I’ve concluded this is simply him keeping up appearances in public, maintaining the stance that people expect from a Mitchell – that is Ben’s whole lifeblood after all. And as it turns out, Ben’s line was actually prophetic in the tragic end Dennis met, given he was dressed all in blue on this particular morning. Oh I do love the foreshadowing 👏
> 
> And finally, Ben’s little reference here to his “going straight suit” – if you need a memory jog, take a look back to the canon episode of 25/11/19…

## Unseen scene of 10/02/20

Ben made a point of huffing his way into the funeral parlour in an obviously disgruntled manner, rejecting all niceties in favour of getting straight to the point. “Let me into the flat, will ya?”

Stuart looked up from his paperwork with a critical frown. “What’s the magic word?”  
“Now?” Ben was singularly unimpressed, & not willing to enter into a battle of wills over the matter, particularly as he was bailing out a mess the man opposite had made. “You want me to get Callum to that assessment of his, or not?”

“Course, yeah…” Stuart instantly backed down, rising to his feet & retrieving a key from his pocket. “He just took somethin’ I said to heart, the silly bugger…” He tried to offer his explanation while unlocking the flat door for Ben. “Should’a realised I was only messin’…”  
Ben raised a hand of dismissal. “Don’t wanna hear it. Just maybe keep yer size nines out of it for the rest of the day, or even better, the rest of the week, yeah?”

Stuart gave a nod of compliance as the younger man ascended the stairs to the flat: at the top step, he took a deep breath, fiddled with the front of his coat, then turned the corner to address his man. Except everything was quiet in the main living space: no sign of Callum either on the sofa, nor even staring pensively into a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Ben emitted a sigh & slowly continued on through to the bedroom.

Callum, lying prone on the bed, sensed Ben’s presence rather than heard it, turning his head on the pillow to look across at the man but offering no comment: the suit he had freshly collected from the launderette hanging untouched from the curtain rail on one of the opposite windows. 

Ben slipped down onto the bed to lay beside his boyfriend, choosing not to say anything either: he would wait it out until Callum was ready to talk, a tactic more familiarly used by the elder man in the reverse context. 

“Maybe I should’a hidden myself away somewhere a bit more original…” Callum sighed heavily, already implicitly understanding that this was a mercy mission Ben had been sent on by Stuart.  
“Maybe deep down you actually wanted to be found…” Ben suggested back, nudging a shoulder to that of his man. 

They fell quiet again for a while, both men staring at the ceiling: Callum interpreting patterns in the Artex effect; Ben developing a frown at the encroaching patch of damp from the flat’s exterior wall.  
"Why've you got them boots of yours on my bed?" Callum eventually commented from the ether.  
Ben turned his head to offer across a mischievous smirk. "You want me to take 'em off? Play a bit of mid-mornin' footsie?"

Callum dismissed the suggestion with a shake of his head, ever the level-headed one in the relationship. "If I find the tiniest speck of grease from the Arches on this duvet cover, you're payin' the laundry bill..."

"Reckon we've packed your sheets off to the launderette with a few stains that were way more tellin' than a bit of grease babe..." Ben sniffed out his crude observation. "Still, if yer gonna go to the expense of a service wash, ya might as well get value for money..." He let a silence drift between them for a while, as he waited to see whether Callum would read between the lines that he was actually inferring reference to the freshly-cleaned suit hanging idle in front of them.

If Callum had understood his boyfriend's meaning, he'd chosen to ignore it, so Ben tried again, with a little less subtlety this time. "Had kinda been hopin' to catch an eyeful of ya in that suit, to be honest. Proper does it for me, that..."

"Yeah?" Callum exhaled on a breath of amusement. "If memory serves, you've never 'ad any trouble carrying the old suited & booted look off either..." He turned his head in his boyfriend's direction to offer a smile that evoked soft memories.

Ben near beamed at the compliment, but wasn't going to miss the opportunity that had been presented to him. "Well, I'm already booted, so how about we strike ourselves a bit of a deal?"  
Callum sighed reluctantly, recognising he was already likely caught. "Go on then, I'm listenin'..."

Ben shuffled his weight in a little closer to his man, but remained on his back, not wanting to apply undue pressure to the situation. "You give me a little preview of you in that suit, take yerself off to that appointment you've got today, then meet me at the Albert, where you'll find me equally dressed to thrill..." As he finished speaking his offer, Ben turned his head to gaze at his man with imploring eyes & a raised eyebrow that gave more than a hint of suggestion.

Callum too looked across at Ben, as he moistened his lips with the briefest lap of his tongue. "Which suit would you be wearin', out of interest?" Callum proceeded to ask, as casually as he could muster despite the flush of heat he felt awaken in his belly.

Ben wasted no time in furthering his encouragement, nuzzling his nose to Callum's neck & scattering kisses amongst the stubble he found there. "Maybe the blue one ya marched me up West to buy last November?" He hummed with prolonged intent at Callum's hard-swallowing Adam's apple. "It is my goin' straight suit after all..."

Callum near shuddered at the recollection of the criminal ways Ben had vowed to cut loose from for him in the past, & again found himself thrilled at the renewal of that sentiment now. He lifted a hand to let his fingers play through Ben's hair, then tap insistently at the nape of his neck, attracting Ben's attention & lips from their persuasive quest. "Well, when ya put it like that..." Callum smiled affectionately, leaning forward to capture Ben's lips with his own.

"Do we have ourselves a deal Mr Highway?" Ben grinned against his boyfriend's mouth.  
"We have ourselves a deal Mr Mitchell," Callum affirmed, nipping tenderly at his man's lower lip. "So, ya wanna help me get dressed?"


	190. Chapter 190

## Actual scene of 10/02/20

Callum looked up at his reflection in the mirror while beginning to fasten his tie, & stared himself down for a soul-searching moment. 

How was it that just a minute earlier, standing face-to-face with Ben & seeing total faith & admiration directed at him, he saw none of the same reassurance now that he looked himself firmly in the eye?

Ben, who with gentle hands had buttoned Callum's shirt, & had then smoothed his palms down the cotton material's front, as if ironing out any trace of imperfection in its crispness. 

Ben, who had attentively flattened down the collar on Callum's shirt, reminding him that a tie would be the perfect finishing touch to the overall ensemble.

Ben, whose presence alone had grounded Callum with a sense of composure & purpose. 

None of which the man saw now when searching deep within his own reflection.

In a rush of pique, Callum snatched the loose tie away from his neck, manhandling it & cracking it whip-like to the floor. Disgusted at the sight of himself, he'd turned away from the mirror & moved off to the sofa to wallow instead.

"Oh," Ben emerged from the bedroom just in time to observe his man's latest crisis of confidence. "When's the rest comin' off, hey?" he commanded self-assured swagger as he sauntered his way across the room.

"I'm binnin' off the assessment..." Callum gave a bemused, if determined, shake of the head as he tucked down his shirt collar, clearly rattled.

"Your brother's an idiot," Ben interjected decisively as if the suggestion was beyond reproach. He'd tried hard not to bring his knowledge of Stuart's indiscretion into proceedings until now, but was quite frankly tired of protecting the imbecile. Still though he softened his tone before passing further judgement. "I don't know why you listen to 'im..." 

Ben perched his weight down beside his boyfriend on the sofa: hands pressed to thighs as if bracing himself for further battle.

"You don't get it..." Callum immediately countered, hands mid-air as a means of additional expression. "A uniform is a uniform: you put it on, & suddenly you're part of this big collective. You're all talkin' the same, bein' the same, actin' the same..." 

He'd been hitting his stride in his explanation, until his demeanour & gaze visibly dropped with sheer disappointment. "Until you realise you can never be the same..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on..." Ben wasn't about to accept such defeatism. He stopped for a second though, as he regarded his man, & wondered how best to get through to him. "You've gotta start realisin' how far you've come..." he grasped a hand of firm reassurance to Callum's knee, as the man's gaze initially failed to lift. 

The physical contact from his boyfriend became enough to entice Callum's eyes to look across to Ben, who swiftly continued with his words of encouragement.

"This is a new Callum..." Ben transferred his hand from knee to shoulder, which he gave an affirming squeeze, earning a bashful if disbelieving expulsion of air from his man. "This is...this is the Callum that, if he gets hassled, he stands up, & brushes himself off..."

Somewhere in Ben's persuasive description, Callum opted to look across at him again: admiring & grateful of the effort, but still doubting it. "Why you botherin' anyway? You don't even want me to be in the police..." There was a hint of realism in his voice that they both knew to be true, even though he tried to sound amused.

Ben detested that reality though, so seized Callum's right hand to cup it between his own, & spoke with unquestionable determination. "I want you to be you..." 

There was an instant shared between their eyes then, as they acknowledged the pure sincerity on display. "And if that means I've gotta drag you to that assessment myself..." Ben cringed at the very thought & pulled an expressive face to show it. "...Then I will..."

Callum was captivated by the amount of belief & affection being levelled at him, first beaming at his boyfriend's commitment, then almost becoming shy about it, dipping his head as he struggled to absorb what was happening.

Finally, though, he settled on simply glowing with pride. "You really think I can do this?" Callum directed the question straight at his man.  
"Ain't even a question..." Ben admitted with the softest of smiles, that was matched instantly by similar returned to him.

"I'll see you at the Albert after, all right?" In a tone that suggested he knew his work was done, Ben began to rise slowly to his feet. "And go with the red tie..." he approved with a nod, before placing a kiss to Callum's forehead.

Callum watched on in quiet awe as his man departed the scene, sensing somehow a deeper promise had been left to hang in the air than just a meeting at the local gay bar that night.

He twiddled out the excess nervous energy in his thumbs, took the deepest of breaths, then surged his weight up from the sofa, grabbing the discarded tie to stand with it before the looking glass again.

This time though, as his nerves raised their head, he stood tall, daring himself to believe. Despite hands that were shaking, he had the tie knotted in no time, multitasking in its final straightening as he moved across the flat to answer the buzz of the flat’s door.

"It's alright, I can do a tie ya know..." he even managed to quip out a joke, as he granted admission to what he assumed was Ben, returning to finish dressing up what he'd started.

Jubilant at his own sense of mastery, Callum then breezed back to the mirror, smiling to himself about both the idiot games of the man he was in love with, & the idiot games that man led he himself to so effortlessly play.


	191. Chapter 191

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if this works gang - you're going to have to give me a reality check as to whether what's happening here makes sense to you...Many already have conversed on the subject & know I'm nervous about getting this kidnapping plot right.
> 
> Here goes...

## Unseen scene of 10/02/20

Callum came to in a daze: the type of state where you're part way between sleep & wake, & if you're dreaming you think it's actually real, but if you're awake, you're convinced you must still be dreaming.

Confused by that? Well yes, Callum pretty much was too.

There was a dark suspicion lurking in the shadows of his mind that something wasn't quite right. Every time he tried to reach out & grab that prevailing notion though, it scurried away deeper into the recesses; hidden further from sight.

Callum was tired, though: so tired that it was too much of an effort to lift his eyelids, let alone chase around his brain after a whim, an intuition, a gut instinct...

His thoughts fell silent as the darkness engulfed him again.

\- - - 

The thing about long, lanky limbs like Callum's was that they weren't built for confinement. He'd drifted back into a semi-state of wakefulness feeling an urge to stretch himself loose, his body feeling as if it had been contorted, then knotted up tight like a ball of wool.

It was a fleeting sensation though, because he still felt tired, so tired, & the tide of sleep had washed him away again before he'd had the energy to act out any such feline-like exercise.

\- - -

_Have I been drinking?_ The question formed in Callum's mind the next time he roused. There was a pulsing throb at his left temple that seemed to reverberate all the way down his cheekbone, & his throat felt acrid & parched.

He'd get up for a glass of water in one more minute, he bartered with himself. Just one more minute, then he wouldn't feel so tired, he was sure of it.

That next minute never came though, as Callum slid from consciousness once more.

\- - -

It was back again: that niggling doubt - the sense that something in his world wasn't quite right. 

Shaking the cobwebs from his sleep-addled brain, Callum tried desperately to piece together his thoughts: unease, restriction, under the influence - were all notions that came to mind - but he couldn't quite garner why.

And then the strangest recollection of all hit him: _I can do a tie ya know..._

Callum screwed his eyes tight shut as he tried to recall the context he'd heard those very words in - or perhaps even spoken them himself...

...It was there somewhere, tantalisingly within reach, if he could just remember, if he could just recall...

_A tie...a sense of formality...dressing to impress..._

_No,_ Callum shook his head: that wasn't it; what was it?

_Dress to impress, dress to impress..._ the phrase scrolled on repeat through his mind. 

Callum shook his head again, more vigorously this time, the overwhelming sensation of grogginess threatening to claim him once more. He'd so nearly made the connection just then, he was sure, if he could just keep his focus...

Eventually he near willed the missing word to appear as an apparition before him, nodding his head to goad it into appearing. As if by some ghostly magic, the word did appear then: brought to him on the reviving memory of glinting blue eyes.

_Dressed to thrill!_ Callum recalled jubilantly, warmth radiating through him as thoughts returned of his boyfriend, & the promise made for that night.

_Ben..._

The joy was short-lived though, as a second, more troubling, name loitered into view.

_Keanu..._

Callum's eyes shot open as his most recent memory flooded back to him, & the full reality of his situation came into disquieting, vivid view.


	192. Chapter 192

## Unseen scene of 10/02/20

Ben's ballsy facade first faltered, then cracked, in the instant he heard the slam of the flat door, & felt the repercussions reverberate through the floorboards at his feet.

He promptly slumped to his knees, exhaling a yell of torment on an outward breath. Callum's tie, still clung tight between his fingers became a focal point of his anguish, being wrung this way then that.

The wringing halted, though, when it occurred to him what untold damage it might be causing. Instead, he raised the tie to his face & drank in the faint scent.

The aroma of Callum's recently applied aftershave was prominent upon it, & how Ben adored that smell. Yet beyond that lay a softer tone that truly was Callum: fresh, with a hint of zing, but above all comfort. 

There was no comfort for Ben now, though, as the notion struck him hard that everything he had done to protect Callum from the reality of his world had been in vain.

A cold shudder erupted down Ben's spine at the thought that if he'd undertaken the deed himself of dispatching Keanu to his grave, instead of enlisting Martin's services, he wouldn't be in this torment now. Then again, he mused pensively as he drank in another breath from the tie, Callum likely wouldn't have ever returned to him if finding out he was a cold-blooded killer.

Ben's mind began to scan back frantically through what had taken place in the preceding five minutes, suddenly desperate to recall every word Keanu had spoken, in case there was any hint or clue of Callum's whereabouts contained within them.

There was no value in any of what Ben could call from memory though, & with a fist formed tight around the tie, he began to pound repeatedly at his thigh, in frustration that he hadn't taken the chance to follow Keanu while he had it.

With every punch an anguished expletive ripped from his body with a shout, until the tempo & ferocity of the self-punishment became too much, & his shoulders slumped low to leave his head bowed, as if studying the floor's fibres with close intent.

Fighting back tears that had no right to fall, he slowly began to lift his head, a mood of dark intent rapidly forming. It threatened to burst though, as his gaze drew level with the framed photo on the coffee table in front of him. The goofy smiles on display from both he & Callum in that photo a powerful reminder of all that he had gained in recent weeks, & everything he now stood to lose.

Scrambling forward until the photo was within reach, Ben held it close in his hands. "I'll find ya babe," he sniffed out at a whisper. "I found ya before, & I'll find you again..."

He traced a thumb delicately along the face of his man in the photo, an emotive memory coming to mind, that he gave voice to without over-thinking it. "I will be anywhere that you are..."

He afforded himself one last lingering gaze at the snapshot of them in the most carefree of times, then pushed his weight up heavily onto his feet, ignoring the cracking sounds his knees made in protest, & wiping the sleeve of his coat across his face.

He looked about himself one last time, as if searching out a clue he knew he wouldn't find, then stashed Callum's tie in his coat pocket & grabbed the man's set of keys from the side. He then made his way down the stairs in a hectic surge, pausing at the bottom long enough only to lock the door fully behind him, & carefully tuck the framed photo snug to his chest beneath his plaid coat. He would hug it there tight all the way home.


	193. Chapter 193

## Unseen scene of 10/02/20

Once his eyesight had adapted to the conditions, & he’d gained a semblance of control over his breathing at the realisation he was gagged & bound, Callum tried to take stock. The gag was already quickly becoming a instrument of annoyance, fully covering his mouth & leaving just enough space for air to reach his nostrils, even though that air felt filthy, tainted as it was by dust & dirt.

He had to be careful, ensuring he maintained a steady tempo of breathing through his nose alone; every now & then he’d forget that necessity & try to take a deeper breath through his mouth, then instantly regret it as a build-up of musty, restrictive air gathered around the material at his mouth & his breathing started to labour. 

Whenever that happened, he’d focus on the internal chant in his head: _in through the nose, out through the nose; in through the nose, out through the nose,_ until his breathing pattern stabilised once more & he could focus his attention elsewhere again.

His hands, he found, were bound tight & connected to a system of chains that fed high into the rafters: Callum swallowed down hard on the fearful thought of what part they could play in any sadistic act of torture inflicted by his captor. _in through the nose, out through the nose; in through the nose, out through the nose,_ He sharply reminded himself though that he was being held at the hands of Keanu Taylor, not a Mafia lord. 

He could see all of these sights in clear vision because Keanu had left him within range of an illuminated fluorescent tube light that was positioned across from his right shoulder. Callum opted to interpret that as a concession by Keanu, rather than a ploy on his part to highlight just how horrific the possibilities of his surroundings were.

The brightness of that light had not just the effect of shedding clarity on his nearest surroundings, but also casting those further away in dark, looming shadows. Discarded sacks & boxes were littered about the vicinity, preventing Callum from having a clear line of sight to anything. Or maybe even anyone – for all he knew, Keanu might be present, lurking in those shadows, hidden from view. 

That thought sent a chill rush down Callum’s spine, but he promptly quelled the resulting shiver, resolving that he wouldn’t show fear, just in case he was within Keanu’s vision. Basic Army training had taught him that: in the event of capture, take the middle ground, & show neither quivering fear nor belligerent defiance. 

Callum closed his eyes momentarily, wanting to chase away memories of his time in the Army that might threaten to overwhelm him, & needing to replace them instead with thoughts that could soothe & ground him. It was of course Ben he found there in his mind’s eye: come to think of it, & Callum actually even smiled to himself at the thought, given his boyfriend was the actual embodiment of belligerent defiance, maybe it was just as well it was Callum in this predicament rather than Ben. 

He reopened his eyes, calmed a little by thoughts of Ben, but not daring to overdo them. He instead tried to focus on shaking out his limbs where he had vague control over them: positioned on the floor, with his back to a wall, his movements were limited, but he could at least alter the angle of stretch to his legs. Several minutes elapsed as he concentrated on bending one knee, then the other, upwards in the direction of his chest. 

Although he had no recollection of his movements between being at the flat & ending up in this, some sort of warehouse, the suspicion was fast dawning on Callum that it must have involved an uncomfortable car journey, of which his limbs were now telling their own sorry tale. 

He began to wonder what time it was, his only hint coming from away to his left, where an emergency exit sign suggested a staircase that led down to the only natural daylight in evidence. It was distant light, but vivid enough to suggest daylight hours remained. Managing to partially raise his hands & simultaneously dipping his head, he nudged at the left sleeve of his jacket, just enough to reveal his watch & see the time was approaching three in the afternoon. 

How differently his day was meant to be going than this, he quietly mused, as he looked around himself once more, his eyes falling upon an assortment of waste disposal bins. By now, he should have been two parts of the way through his police assessment: to think he’d been convinced the toughest part of his day would be a written exam on law enforcement. Ironic really.

An image flickered into Callum’s mind of Ben again, there at the Albert, dressed up in his finery, patiently awaiting the arrival of his man. Would he even know Callum was missing? Would he think he’d stood him up?

Callum let his head thud back against the wall in frustration, about to be consumed by those thoughts, when he was distracted by a noise below that sounded suspiciously like a heavy-duty door being opened. He craned his neck to peer in the direction of what he assumed to be the staircase &, as booted heavy footsteps approached, sounding progressively louder & more determined, he admitted to himself for the first time that he properly felt unnerved.

As the advancing feet made a clanging connection with the metal-framed stairs, Callum glanced about himself nervously, suddenly unsure of where to look or how to react. He forgot his golden rule in that moment, snatching hungrily for breaths through his mouth & instantly coming to regret it.

As Keanu emerged into his view, all Callum could do was focus again on his breathing - _in through the nose, out through the nose; in through the nose, out through the nose,_ \- although somewhat unsuccessfully, as captive looked up into the eyes of captor for the first time.  



	194. Chapter 194

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone fancy a cheeky double-posting Saturday? 
> 
> Yep, me too, so another chapter will be up later today.
> 
> FYI, I've had a little internal debate as to how best to monitor the real-time lapse of Callum's kidnapping, given it played out over several weeks on screen, but in reality was only scripted over a few actual consecutive days. I've decided the chapter scene dates will continue to tie in with the actual canon screening dates, but I'm now adding in a log of what number of days we're into Callum's ordeal. I hope that makes sense!

## Actual scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

As he worked through leaden, heaving breaths, Callum could at least sense Keanu was feeling similarly awkward about the encounter as they looked each other straight in the eye.  
It was Keanu who blinked first & glanced away. “I’m sorry you’ve been caught up in all of this…”

Callum sat passive & unmoved, turning his head to look straight ahead instead.  
“But there are some things that you don’t know about your boyfriend,” Keanu continued his opening gambit. “If he’s got any sense, this’ll be over soon”. He made an obvious move towards Callum then, causing his captive to look at him cautiously, only to then be relieved to find the gag was being slipped down from against his mouth. 

Callum gulped greedily at the sudden rush of air that was accessible to him, his breaths condensing into water droplets as they escaped his mouth & met with the cool February atmosphere, forming fog-like wafts in front of him. When he felt a little more composed, Callum looked up at Keanu determinedly. “I can talk to Ben…” he suggested through heavy breaths. “I could smooth this all over for you…”

“You really think I’m gonna be able to walk around Walford again after this?” Keanu was entirely unconvinced. “Without lookin’ over my shoulder, waitin’ for his next move?”  
“Ben won’t touch you, none of them will: I will make sure of it…” Callum’s determination had suddenly become peppered with a slight tone of pleading.  
“You don’t know that…”  
“Yes I do…” Callum continued to stare directly into his imprisoner’s eyes, trying to assert that he had influence where Ben was concerned. “Yes I do…”

Callum paused to breathe some more then, reflecting on the message he was trying to get across. He knew he needed to speak honestly & from the heart if he were to have a hope of convincing Keanu. “Ben, he’s…” he began through a near breaking voice. “He’s not who you think he is…”

Keanu retaliated with an accusatory point of his finger & a stern tone. “He’s exactly who I think he is, & he’s going to get everything that is coming to him”. Having delivered his verdict, he turned his back & began to walk away.  
“No you don’t…” Callum whimpered out in frustration. “No you don’t understand. If you’d of seen how guilty he was after Christmas; how torn up he was, then you’d understand…”

The sudden turn of Keanu back in Callum’s direction swiftly stopped the latter in his tracks, as the realisation began to hit of the admission he’d just carelessly made. Callum closed his eyes, & gently shook his head, both in criticism of himself at the error he’d made, & regret at the self-punishment Ben had dished out in the aftermath of Keanu’s so-called demise.  
“You knew…” Keanu was instantly enthralled. 

Callum shook his head again, more obviously this time, turning it & briefly reopening his eyes. “Keanu…” he tried to implore, as the man sauntered back in his direction.  
“Innocent, good-hearted Callum…” Keanu squatted down as Callum leant his head back against the wall & closed his eyes against the allegation that was undoubtedly coming. “Knew Ben Mitchell tried to have me killed, & didn’t do nothin’ about it…”

Callum opened his eyes again so they were looking eye-to-eye. “It wasn’t like that: I swear to you, it wasn’t like that…”  
“You, are just as bad as him…” Keanu declared, his eyes drilling ice-cold into Callum, who continued to hold his gaze, offering a meek shake of the head in return. 

Keanu had heard enough: offering his own dismissive shake of the head, then rising to his feet & turning away.  
Callum sat quiet, relieved that as of yet, the gag hadn’t been returned to his mouth, but already wondering what was next in store for him. His was a guilt by association, after all, & Keanu was now clearly casting him in the same boat as Ben


	195. Chapter 195

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Second chapter posted today, so scroll back one if you haven't read today's earlier chapter yet!

## Unseen scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

Callum could eventually stand the uneasy silence that had descended no more, taking the decision that he'd rather have influence over his fate than sit passively awaiting it.

He gave a cough to clear his throat, & alert Keanu, who still had his back turned & seemed preoccupied with something on his phone, that he intended to speak. "So what am I then? The bait to lure Ben to you?"

Keanu turned slowly around, & was evidently amused by the suggestion. "Why would I want to see the man that tried to have me killed? No, no, no Callum..." he tutted, pulling out a crate & settling his weight down to sit on it. "You see, your boyfriend & I have already had ourselves a little rendezvous, & he knows exactly what it is I want from him..."

Callum's brow furrowed in concentration: at least he now knew Ben was aware he was missing, & presumably why. That notion momentarily consoled him, but then the more thought he gave it, the less settled he became, as he could well imagine the state of turmoil Ben would be in "So I'm your leverage then..." he reasoned out instead.

"If you like, yeah..." Keanu returned with an unsettling smile. "I've got somethin' Ben wants - the thing I think both you & I both know he wants more than anything else in the world - & he can get his hands on the one thing I most need in the world".

Callum dragged the tip of his tongue along his lips to quench them a little against their developing thirst. "And you're confident Ben can get that for you?"

Keanu clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth & briefly raised his eyebrows. "I'm confident Ben can be persuaded to get that for me. I'm pretty certain he'd rather not see you come to too much harm, after all..."

The implied suggestion left Callum feeling more than a little uneasy, but he tried not to show it. "And if he can't get you what you want?" he prompted quietly.

Keanu engaged him in a firm stare. "Ben knows there are consequences to every action".

Callum didn't divert his eyes from Keanu's glare, simply giving a nod of accepted understanding.  
Keanu by return appeared confused by it, as if wondering how the man restrained before him could seem so calm. 

It was all swan-like for Calllum though: unflustered on the exterior, yet peddling furiously unseen beneath.

They stayed in silence for a while, either man regarding the other with a combination of wariness & intrigue. Eventually, though, as before, it was Callum who broke the spell. 

"This suit..." he glanced down to indicate his clothing. "Had to get yer Mum to dry clean it this mornin..." He stalled to let the suggestion sink in. "Reckon it might need doin' again after this..."

"Don't," Keanu held out a halting palm, refusing to hear. "I know what your tryin'a go & it ain't gonna wash..."

Callum raised an eyebrow in return, & looked about to add further comment, when a phone notification that sounded highly reminiscent of his own pinged in the background.

"Ah yes," Keanu smiled wickedly. "That reminds me - we have ourselves a few messages to answer..."  
Callum responded with an expression that was quizzical.

"Oh come on now Halfway..." Keanu jibed while rising to his feet. "Did you seriously not think I took myself the liberty of acquiring your mobile phone while you were out cold? He turned to retrieve the aforementioned phone from the side. "Now, what d'you say we have ourselves a bit of sport..."


	196. Chapter 196

## Unseen scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

Ben gnawed down anxiously on his thumbnail as he sat at the kitchen table, opposite his daughter, watching her eat.

"Are you not havin' any, Daddy?" Lexi called him out on his apparent lack of appetite: even when feeling ill, this little girl still had the surveillance skills of a spy.

He reached for a reassuring smile. "Nah, I'll have somethin' a bit later princess". Needing to keep himself busy he then stood up & moved to clear the clutter in the sink. "You eat all that up though, & don't be worryin' about me..." He couldn't resist tipping a kiss to the top of her head while passing by.

As Ben made what was a lax attempt at washing up, his daughter continued to prattle on between mouthfuls of food; Ben occasionally responding with a distant affirmative or agreement, keeping up the pretence he was listening. In reality, he might have just granted her a week off school, or the purchase of a luxury yacht upon her tenth birthday, & he would be none the wiser.

His thoughts were all with Callum, & what his current plight might be. Ben had this pipe dream that had been developing all day, that maybe Keanu was all mouth about any harm he might inflict on Callum, & maybe he simply had him stowed somewhere away from sight but out of danger.

Callum, bless him, was such a kindly soul, so it would be just his karma to be kidnapped & then holed up in a snug b&b somewhere, rather than a dingy backstreet industrial estate.

It had been that whimsical notion that had got Ben this far through the day, to be honest. Exchanging harsh, uncompromising words with Martin, dodging Stuart's questions, & ransacking the Mitchell household for any stash of money or valuables he could lay his hands on. 

He'd kept himself busy right up until the moment his Mum had knocked on the front door & landed him with Lexi: since then, progress had slowed; the cold-calling of long-lost associates had derailed.

He was waiting on the return of countless phone calls he'd made; working his way through the accounts of the Car Lot & the Arches, seeking out any finances he could readily ferret away.

These downtimes were the hardest: when his daughter demanded, commanded & deserved his attention, leaving him with little possibility of rustling up more finance. That time would come later, when she finally slept, but for now it was a waiting game, with Ben biding his time over whatever he could.

The ping of a notification stopped him dead in his tracks mid washing up: _it couldn't be, could it?_ He shook the suds from his hands, which he then haphazardly ran down the front of his trousers to dry them off, before making a grab for his phone from the table.

_One new message: Callum_

Ben took in a sharp gulp of breath - _he'd replied; he'd actually replied!_ In an especially listless moment earlier that afternoon, more in hope than expectation, he'd sent a message to Callum's phone, promising he'd bring him home safely, whatever it took.

He'd never really dared to hope a response might come, but here it was. Casting a brief glance in Lexi's direction & finding her happily munching through a fishfinger, he swiped his phone into action & read the message he'd received.

His heart instantly plummeted into his stomach..

_Bet that got your heart racing, hey Mitchell? The thought of a text message from lover boy?  
Unfortunately, Callum's a little tied up at the moment..._

Anger flushed red through Ben's body at the cruelty on display: both at the false hope the appearance of a message from Callum's phone had given, & the implied ill-treatment he man was enduring.

He tapped out a hasty response.

_If you dare hurt him..._

He sank his weight back against the kitchen counter, suddenly needing its support to hold him up, then agitating anxiously at the developing hangnail on his thumb as he awaited a response that he knew would come.

_If I hurt him you'll what exactly? Send me a barrage of hurtful emojis?_

Ben tipped his head to the ceiling, fighting back emotion at the sudden helplessness he felt: Keanu was playing games & holding all the cards. As he battled to think of a non-incendiary response, Keanu sent another message through.

_Speaking of emojis, fancy playing a little game?_

_This one's worth five points if you can correctly guess it..._

👮  
⏰⏰⏰  
☠

An entirely involuntary groan of unease escaped Ben's being, causing his daughter to glance over at him in concern. 

"Is that Callum?" she quietly asked. "It sounds like the ring tone you have set up for him..."

"Yeah baby..." Ben somehow managed to choke out a confirmation. "It's Callum". Unsettled by Keanu's gameplay, he strived to keep his daughter as far removed from it as he could. "You all done there?" He nodded to her virtually empty plate, save the pile of peas set to one side that she had flatly refused to eat.  
She agreed with her own vibrant nod. "All done..."

"Good girl," he managed to praise softly. "How about Daddy finishes tidyin' things up in 'ere, & you go snuggle up on the sofa? I'll be in to join you in a minute..."  
"Ok Daddy..." the little girl acquiesced without further question, snatching up her over-sized cuddly toy from beside her & dragging it through to the living room.

Ben watched her retreat through fond eyes that then immediately hardened as he switched his attention back to his tormentor.

_I don't have time for your games Keanu. I'm too busy trying to sort your money_

Ben set the phone down on the side, hoping that would be an end to the exchange, & trying to ignore the faint rising of dread within his stomach. Neither were to be though, as Keanu responded again.

_ Try. Harder._

_I'll leave you with this one, worth 10 points..._

_🕖  
No 💰  
Some 😧._

Ben swallowed down hard, not even wanting to consider what that last emoji meant. 

"Daddy..." Lexi's entreating call came through the walls.  
"Comin' baby," he called back softly, stealing one more look at his phone, then shoving it away in his pocket. "I'm comin'..." 

He just had to hope & pray one of his contacts would come through with the goods before Keanu's stated hour of 7pm arrived....


	197. Chapter 197

## Unseen scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

Callum had closed his eyes to the sight of Keanu taunting Ben via text message soon after the exchange had begun. Yes, Callum had granted Keanu access to his phone, through the voluntary pressing of digit to fingerprint reader, but that didn't mean he wanted to be party to the ensuing conversation.

He'd been smart enough to understand the refusing Keanu access to his phone would only rile his captor, so had acquiesced to it if not exactly with grace, but compliance at least. It didn't mean he wanted to be part of what followed though: no doubt a volleying of threats & insinuations; strike & counter strike. 

He knew Keanu's interactions were with Ben, from the chime of the notification itself, having assigned a personalised ringtone to his boyfriend quite some time ago. Even now, here in the most inappropriate of scenarios, that sound alone did something to Callum, sending a tiny shiver of anticipation through his body. He had to school himself into a position of failing to outwardly react.

Instead, he leant his head back against the wall, looking up to the rafters, & focusing on his breathing. It wasn't quite the same as before: without the gag he didn't need to limit every breath; instead he concentrated on taking in air in the manner he chose, rather than was forced into.

The frequent snide chuckles emitted by Keanu were a struggle to ignore though, Callum couldn't lie to himself. He knew Ben was being jibed at & tormented, & was trying not to contemplate the mess the man he'd left behind was in.

Callum lapsed a little into himself, as if trying to transmit reassurances to Ben through space & time: _I'm alright; don't worry; I've got this; don't react, that's exactly what he wants..._

"Reckon we might give that boyfriend of yours a little call later..." Keanu's gruff intervention pulled Callum from his thoughts.  
He opened his eyes painstakingly slowly, fixing Keanu with a determined glare. "I won't be your pawn in these games yer playin' with Ben," he stated forcefully. "If you call him, I ain't gonna talk..."

In Callum's mind's eye he could already envisage the damage a telephone interaction could cause to his man, & he didn't want to put him through it. He'd rather stay strong & silent...

"Oh Callum..." Keanu simply tutted out disapprovingly. "I didn't ever say you'd be doin' any talkin'..."

Discarding the phone to one side, Keanu stood, casually dusting off his jeans, then moving across to his captive. "Now pipe down will ya..." Keanu slid the gag back up & across Callum's mouth. "I need to get myself in the zone, so could do without you mitherin' on for a while..."

Callum swallowed down hard, instantly troubled at the thought of what zone Keanu felt the need to get himself into, yet instinctively understanding he probably needed to do the same, even if he had no exact idea of what was to come.


	198. Chapter 198

## Unseen scene merging into actual scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

For the first time in what felt like days, but was in fact little more than hours, Ben permitted himself the slightest sigh of relief, as 7pm came & went without further interaction from Keanu.

Although Ben hadn't troubled his time with deciphering the emoji messages sent to him, he understood they were veiled threats as to Callum's welfare, & knew7pm had been indicated as a watershed moment by which he was supposed to have demonstrated progress in obtaining the ransom money.

Quite what world the neanderthal Keanu lived in, that he thought such a sum of money could be hustled up in so few hours, Ben had no idea, but he took the smallest of comfort from realising Keanu's threats had been unfounded, for the meantime at least.

"How you feelin' princess?" Ben ran a hand from his daughter's forehead to her hair, as her head nestled in his lap, while the remainder of her body lay prone on the sofa.  
"Still very poorly Daddy..." the meek response came. "Don't think I'll get well enough to go to school tomorrow..."

Ben, usually highly-attuned to his daughter's ploys - he should know, having tried the majority of them in his day too - seemed to barely notice for once. "We'll see in the mornin' baby, yeah?" His hand continued to trawl through his daughter's locks. "Now Daddy just needs to make a phone call, so sit tight for me..."

He tried not to become agitated while impatiently working his way through the automated security checks his call was answered by, reciting his first name, his surname & his date of birth, repeating a 'yes' back to the electronic voice every time it double-checked his answer.  
_You said your surname is Mitchell, is this correct?_  
"Yes," Ben near growled down the phone in response, slipping his hand to rest it comfortingly against Lexi.

Finally the option to speak with an actual human being came, & Ben welcomed the offer emphatically. "Yes, definitely yes. Put me through to a bleedin' human bein'..."

"Daddy!" Lexi reprimanded. "You must not swear..." There was a tone reminiscent of Lola in her voice.  
"Sorry baby," Ben sheepishly slipped a kiss to her head, sighing as he realised he was finally being connected to an operator. 

"Yeah, I need to talk to someone about a loan..." He interjected midway through the call-handler's spiel, lacking in time for pleasantries. "No, no, no, no, no..." he instantly chimed back at speed as the individual began to explain the lead times involved. "I need it today".

Still not getting the answer he wanted, tension must have emanated through his body, as Lexi felt it & looked up towards him.  
"Ok, well it had better be first thing..." Ben sensed his daughter was observing, & fought back the urge to kick off. 

"Daddy..." Lexi began to suggest as he hung up from the call. "If you need money I can get some out of my piggy bank for you..."  
"Oh thank you princess," Ben returned fondly, stroking a hand to her forehead. "But no, that money's for you, for you to keep for yourself". 

Just as he was pausing to allow himself a moment's respite in the innocent simplicity of family life, Ben was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. 

"Excuse me baby..." he rolled his daughter's weight gently away from him, suddenly fearful as to what this particular phone call might hold: it was 7.15pm, & Keanu was calling.

"Hello..." with his back turned to Lexi, Ben answered in hushed tones, stare fixed & eyes already dilating with anxiety. There were indistinct sounds coming down the line, but he couldn't ascertain their context or validity.

"Hello?" he repeated more determinedly, then glanced down at his phone to check the connection was still intact. "Are you there?"  
"Are you listening?" the threatening retaliation was issued dryly by Keanu.

Ben, immediately sensing he needed his daughter as far away from this phone call as he could persuade her to be, held the phone to his chest & turned round to Lexi. "Baby, Daddy's...Daddy's gotta take this really important work call alright, so can you just, will you go upstairs for a minute, yeah?"

"I'm sick..." Her straight-to-the-point response came, disapproving of her father's efforts to fob her off.  
"I'll give you ten pounds for your piggy bank..." Sometimes bribery was the only language of persuasion Ben knew, but it worked, as his little girl clambered reluctantly from the sofa & made her demonstrative exit from the room.

"That's it: good girl..." Ben praised, firmly shutting the door behind her, & pausing at it for a fraction longer than necessary to compose himself. "Stop playin' games Keanu..." he then issued his decisive warning into the phone as he edged back into the centre of the room. 

It was then he heard sounds he could decipher more readily: unmistakeable, spine-prickling sounds that chilled him to his very core. "Callum..." he let out on a fearful, quaking breath. "Callum, is that you?"


	199. Chapter 199

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning for implied violence in this chapter, in case that is likely to upset anybody.
> 
> Keanu's going dark...

## Alternative perspective of actual scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

Callum had been quietly observing the warning precursors for quite some time: Keanu's frequent, listless glances at the time showing on his wrist watch; the man's semi-frequent pacing of floorboards that creaked & groaned beneath him; the less frequent, but obviously pronounced, agitated side glances in Callum's direction.

It all meant Callum hadn't been entirely surprised when the time struck the allotted hour & the beating came. It was preceded by words from Keanu that attempted redemption - "I truly take no pleasure from this..." - then a punched blow to Callum's head that had rendered him slightly stunned, yet still fully cognisant & conscious.

The following thump of Keanu's boot to Callum's abdomen had been a physical shockwave that had caused Callum to double over in writhing agony, & a base shout of pain to rush from his lips. 

Followed by a second, then a third, as Keanu had repeated his kicking motion, jabbing another excruciating sob of air from the man bound & wilting beneath him each time.

Callum was discovering now though, in his post-beating foetal position on the unforgiving floor, folded in on himself to hold it together, that there was actually a feeling far worse than enduring a physical beating. And that was being made to withstand hearing the recording of said beating, while his captor played it down the phone line to Callum's listening, & increasingly horrified, boyfriend.

"Callum...Callum is that you?" Ben's whispered, fearful question had come hesitantly through the ether: Keanu's mobile set to speakerphone for all to hear, & how Callum wished he could call out loud, reassure Ben that he was ok, but the gag was still bound tight to his mouth & air was still absent from his lungs. All Callum was capable of in that moment was lying still & suffering in silence.

Ben's stuttered, shaky breaths transferred their way down the phone line. "Nah, no..." defiance suddenly built in his tone. "That ain't gonna work Keanu alright, that could be anyone. You don't have the guts to do it yourself alright, so why don't ya just, you let Callum go, & we'll call it quits yeah...You've had ya fun..."

Callum wasn't surprised Ben couldn't recognise his own boyfriend's shouts of agony from behind the muffling absorption of the gag: screams Callum had thought himself to be bellowing at the top of his lungs sounded little more than a series of grunts & whines on replay now.

Maybe there was some comfort to be found in that distortion of events, though: that Ben may never be fully aware of Callum’s current physical state. A cold shiver travelled sharply down Callum's spine though, as Keanu responded to Ben's proposition. "You want proof that was Callum, I'm sendin' you a little snapshot now..."

Silence followed on the phone line, save the plink of notification received by Ben's phone.

Callum had known the mugshot Keanu had taken of him earlier would find its way to Ben sooner or later: an image of him bound, with a black-eye already forming from Keanu's initial punch thrown at the flat, & the dark stains of dried blood beneath his nose.

Still, Callum took the coldest of comfort from knowing he'd looked in a healthier state there than he was looking now.

Long, aching seconds elapsed as Ben seemed to silently absorb the image he'd been sent, before he took a piercingly sharp intake of breath that whistled through the phone.

"Yes, yeah, yeah I..." Ben's stuttered tone had returned when he spoke again. "I believe you alright..." His breathing seemed to become increasingly jagged with every word. "I'm gettin' you yer money; I'm gettin' it, I am..."

Callum had heard enough from the horror in Ben's voice alone, & shut his eyes to the torrent of emotion threatening to break from within. He wouldn't weep for his man's plight in the presence of Keanu: he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he was capable of breaking him. Even though, as Callum lay in a contorted mess on the floor, he wasn't sure he'd ever felt more shattered in his life.


	200. Chapter 200

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As is now tradition when this fic hits a landmark chapter count, a small thank you to all who continue to read, enjoy & contribute thoughts/encouragement along the way. I very much enjoy writing these scenes for you - in the most part - & it's lovely to find so many still enjoy them along with me.
> 
> 200 chapters in & still going strong - here's to the next 100  
🤪

## Unseen scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

As Keanu reached down & swiped the gag loose from Callum’s mouth, the elder man couldn’t help but cower away from him slightly: an instinctive response that he privately chastised himself for. The truth was though that Callum’s entire body stung & ached to its core, & was shrinking away from the prospect of another physical caning.

“Whoa, hey…” Keanu held out his palms in a non-threatening manner. “I ain’t gonna hurt you, I promise…” He sunk down to his knees to be closer to his captive’s level, cautious not to crowd in too close. “Sit up & take these yeah; they’ll help take the edge off the pain…”  
Callum warily eyed the two tablets & bottle of water, complete with straw, being held out to him. 

“They’re just regular painkillers…” Keanu assured quietly. “Nothin’ more sinister…” He could understand the man’s reticence to believe the offer he was making now, given he’d been dishing out a beating to him just fifteen minutes earlier. 

Callum gave the briefest nod of acceptance to the gesture, slowly, agonisingly, resetting his weight to vertical, & immediately breathless from the effort involved. A jolt of burning pain shot through his ribcage at these first attempts at movement since Keanu’s kicking had ceased. 

With hands still bound, Callum was unable to handle the tablets for himself, so Keanu presented them forward, placing them onto the man’s tongue when it offered up consent for him to do so. Keanu then held the straw to Callum’s mouth, allowing the man to take his first quenching sips of water for what had already been hours. 

The motion of sucking at the straw sent a new surge of pain down through Callum’s torso though, causing him to cough some of the water back out, sending a second thrust of reverberating pain straight to his ribs in the process.  
“Steady, steady…” Keanu counselled watchfully. “Slow steady sips for now yeah, give your body time to adjust…”

As Callum tipped his head back to the wall, part in effort to swallow down the pills, & part in search of something else to weight bear for a while, he regarded Keanu distrustfully. “How…” he tried to breathe through the pain. “How can you go from kickin’ the shit out of me one minute, to playin’ nursemaid the next?” As Callum voiced the question on his lips through a series of wheezed & hard-fought breaths, his eyes never left his captor’s face for a moment. 

Keanu sighed, knowing it reasonable to accept Callum would want some kind of explanation, even if it couldn’t quite be a justification. “This isn’t about you, so don’t take it personally. It was never, ever about you…”

Callum would have huffed out a breath of exasperation if it weren’t likely to hurt him so much. “It felt a lot like it was about me when them size nine boots of yours connected with me ribs for the second & third times…”  
Keanu didn’t truly know where to put himself at that observation: eyes darting about nervously & unable to connect with Callum’s disarming stare. 

“Jesus…” Callum actually did huff out a breath of air, this time in amusement, even though he immediately winced at the resulting discomfort it caused. “You & Ben: yer more alike than you’d ever know actually…”

Finally, a distraction Keanu could seize upon to extract himself from what was an increasingly discomforting scenario. “Oh yeah? Does that a lot does he, Ben? Ramp the pain levels up to ten, then smother you afterwards with kindness…” He didn’t want an answer, instead swiftly rising to his feet & fiddling with the chains to which Callum’s hand were rigidly fastened. 

“You’ve got ten minutes, yeah…” Keanu then retrieved a shop-bought sandwich from his bomber jacket pocket & tossed it in his captive’s direction, while nodding to indicate that he had slackened the chains off enough to allow some greater freedom of movement. “Suggest you don’t waste any more time on that psychoanalysis of yours, & concentrate on gettin’ that food down ya instead…”

As Keanu began to retreat into the shadows & out of his direct sight, Callum mused pensively over the enigma of the man that was holding him hostage, & began to realise that the excessive facial growth he was sporting was little more than a thinly-veiled disguise. Keanu didn’t want this situation, any more than Ben or Callum themselves did, but they were all irreconcilably tangled within it. 

He heeded his captor’s suggestion though, & busied himself with tearing open the sandwich carton, lifting the sandwich to his mouth & beginning to nibble at it, savouring each mouthful as though it were a state banquet. Never mind that the still restrictive binding at his wrists meant he could only eat in a manner similar to a feeding squirrel. 

Although every small movement was still agony, Callum made sure to take advantage of being a little less restricted, easing each of his limbs gently to & fro his body in turn, reminding them that they did still have a function in his life. 

Halfway into the sandwich & the starch was beginning to settle a little heavily within, so Callum glanced around to see if his luck was in & Keanu had left the bottle of water anywhere within reach. Gladly, he had, & Callum was able to guide the straw to his mouth & take a reviving sip through it, being more careful as to the accompanying intake of air this time, to save his distraught ribs. 

The effort of eating, between aching jaw & cheek bones, & a stomach that was near contracting with pain, was starting to take a toll on Callum, so he set the bottle down & rested his head back to the wall for a moment, closing his eyes to the room in need of whatever respite he could take. 

It was a bizarre thought to have at a moment such as this, but Callum hoped that Ben was keeping himself fed & watered properly: not neglecting himself in the quest to find whatever ransom money Keanu was waging over his own head. Ben had this tendency to lapse deep into himself when the shit hit the fan, & Callum had already frequently noted that the way to tear the man back from himself was through the offer of a hearty meal, plus afters. 

It felt good to think of Ben in that manner for a moment, rather than as the tormented soul Callum had been subjected to hearing down the phone line, so indulged he himself for a moment longer, then returned to gnawing down on the sandwich once more: it was a congealed mess, Callum had to admit, having likely been carried around in Keanu’s pocket for quite some hours, but it was food & he would take that. 

A day that had started with breakfast in bed, courtesy of his boyfriend, was ending with a sandwich in captivity, courtesy of his kidnapper. How the world turned on its axis sometimes in peculiar ways.


	201. Chapter 201

## Unseen scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

Lexi peered curiously around the now ajar sitting room door, to find out what the commotion was about. She'd heard a loud, soul-wrenching shout that had sounded unmistakably similar to something her father might be capable of producing.

She'd stayed in situ upstairs regardless for several uncertain minutes, seeking out answers from her cuddly toy unicorn, Magic, that it just wasn't capable of giving. Quietly, hesitantly, she had eventually made her way downstairs - unicorn in tow - to find her Daddy.

She shuffled gently into the living room, already seeing her father, bent down on his knees with head in hands. 

The little girl crept closer, with a sense of fortitude that belied her age, eventually settling before Ben.

"Whenever I'm sad Daddy," she offered softly, " I always find a cuddle with Magic helps..." She gently offered her cuddly toy across. "He's a really, really good listener, & he always snuggles back..."

Ben heaved out a sob, that he instantly pulled back behind a pretend cough. "Bet he don't do better snuggles than my little princess..." Holding widened arms aloft, he beckoned his daughter into him, holding her closer than he'd ever thought possible. 

Lexi gathered her significantly smaller arm span around her father's waist, gripping on tight for an indeterminable time before she quietly spoke again. "Magic says I should ask if you want to snuggle down in bed with us tonight. He says he has enough snuggles in him for both of us..."

Ben near choked on just how overwhelmed he felt in that moment: tormented by thoughts of what Callum was going through, yet unashamedly adoring of his daughter's innocent attempts to help. "Tell Magic I'd like that very much..." he pressed his face down into Lexi's hair as he gave his answer, taking just a fraction of comfort from the familiar scent he found there.

"I think you should tell Magic yourself..." the little girl whispered back to her father. "Do you believe in Magic Daddy?"

Ben gently manoeuvred his daughter from his person, so he could gaze upon her, if not quite manage to look her straight in the eye. "What would Callum say? Does he believe in Magic?"

Lexi nodded out her fervent agreement. "Callum definitely believes in Magic," she assured, as if there was no doubt in her mind.

"In which case," Ben concurred through a shaky breath. "So do I baby...So do I..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief check-in with Ben's state following on from the phone call initiated by Keanu.
> 
> The original intention for this chapter was for it to take an entirely different direction, but a recent comment from bookl0ver - "You can feel how stressed out & on edge Ben is, but also how Lexi being there is a comfort, helps calm him down. The love he has for her is brilliant" - stuck with me & inspired me to turn this into something completely different.
> 
> Lexi is the only one capable of drawing Ben away from himself in the absence of Callum, & she manages to do it so innocently every time.


	202. Chapter 202

## Unseen scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 1)

“Right, time’s up…” Keanu’s curtness cut through the silence as he loomed back into view from the shadows. “Good man,” he gave an approving nod in the direction of the now empty sandwich carton. “I see you chose to take my advice…” 

He’d already known Callum had eaten up every morsel of the food, of course, as he’d been keeping a watchful eye on him from the darkened side lines: part to keep guard that his hostage didn’t try making any bid for freedom, & part to keep a check on his wellbeing. Keanu having admitted privately to himself that he’d overdone the physical brutality, & Callum’s partially wheezed breaths were a cause for concern. 

As Keanu ventured to tighten the chains once more, Callum expelled a series of short breaths, apparently working himself up to something.  
“Any chance before ya fasten them things up I could take a piss? Come from a long line of weak-bladdered Highway men me…” Callum gave a self-effacing shrug to indicate his deference to the man in possession of the restraints &, therefore, the power.

Keanu studied him suspiciously for a moment, as if conducting an internal battle with his conscience. “There’s to be no funny business, alright?” He pointed a warning finger as he made his decree.  
“Ain’t even completely sure I’m gonna be able to stand…” Callum huffed out in response. “So I reckon you can safely bank on me not tryin’ to make a run for it…”  
“Middle of nowhere pal,” it was Keanu’s turn to shrug. “Doubt you’d make it very far anyway…”

Keanu held still a while longer, then dropped the chains to lurk back into the shadows, returning seconds later with something that looked similar to a crowbar. “Just my insurance policy…” he advised, moving across in Callum’s direction. “Do not give me any reason to think I need to use it…” He then offered his arms out as a means of assistance in guiding the man to his feet. 

Callum nodded his understanding, then winced & wheezed his way up, pausing midway to catch his breath, having to rely solely on Keanu to bear the majority of his weight during that time. 

“Fuck…” the taller man groaned, as he steadily righted himself to his more natural height, albeit still slightly stooped due to the excruciating pains about his midriff. His legs felt like jelly, & he felt certain he must have looked like Bambi on ice, but it felt good to feel the blood beginning to circulate around his body again. 

“Over there’ll do ya…” Keanu indicated towards a wall mere metres away from where they stood that could function as a makeshift urinal, as he loosened the binding from one of Callum’s wrists, but keeping it firmly intact on the other. “I would say keep both yer hands where I can some ‘em,” he sniffed out drolly, “but I recognise that might cause a few logistical issues…”

Callum gave a smile of appeasement then haphazardly made his way across to the wall, bracing a palm against it for physical support as he went about his business, trying to ignore the significant discomfort he experienced while passing water. At least he didn’t suffer with stage fright in such circumstances. "Appreciate that, thanks..." He zipped himself back up a few moments later, then moved gradually, so as not to startle his captor.

Keanu reached for the wrist that had been offered out to him, binding it back within the restraint. "Yeah well," he sniffed, while giving a tug to the bind to ensure it was holding. "Just don't go imaginin' I'm on the turn or anything..."

Callum decided it best to swallow down the Ben-esque innuendo forming in his mind, staying compliant. "This me for the foreseeable then, is it?" he settled on instead.  
"Until that boyfriend of yours coughs up the readies..." Keanu sniffed out, indicating that his hostage should take a seat on the floor, then adjusting the tension in the chain restraints accordingly. 

Callum seemed pensive for a moment, as if trying to take the position before him fully in. "D'ya reckon yer mum'd be proud of ya?" he eventually opted for in an even tone.

"You reckon Ben's mum would be proud of him?" Keanu returned with a raise of the eyebrow. Satisfied the chains were suitably tight, he then strode his way in Callum's direction.

"Not the gag again, please..." Callum implored, with gently pleading eyes that engaged searchingly upwards to those of his captor. "I ain't got the physical strength to be callin’ out, & even if I did, like ya said earlier, who's gonna be close enough by to hear, let alone help?"

Keanu stalled, hand in mid-air, as he evaluated the man before him appraisingly. "If I so much as get a whiff of you shoutin' for help..."  
"You won't..." Callum shook his head vigorously. "My breathin' though, it was enough if a struggle before, without the damage to me ribs as well..."

"Alright, alright..." Keanu waved his palms upwards in surrender. "The gag stays off for now, but I swear Callum if you make one false move..."

"I won't..." Callum heaved out through a sigh of pure relief. "I swear I won't. You can leave me 'ere all night on me own, & I swear, I won't utter a word".


	203. Chapter 203

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a funny thing happened - when I went to bed last night the next chapter wasn't written; it's now just approaching 10am the next day & the next 2 chapters are written.
> 
> They're both only short but need to be read in parallel to one another really, so against all the odds, today will turn into a double post Sunday...
> 
> Here's Ben's pov now, with Callum's to follow later...

## Unseen scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Night 1)

Ben lay in a skewed position, with his back flush tight to the wall, & Lexi's back tucked snuggly into his chest, where she slept soundly, Magic the unicorn still cradled firmly in her arms.

She looked the epitome of comfortable nestled gently there: regular, untroubled breathing; golden locks strewn across her features, highlighted as they were by the continual glow of the soft pink night light she insisted be an ever-present feature.

Ben, though, felt no such right or will to lay comfortably, fearful of the likely discomfort Callum remained in. For so long as Callum was unable to rest easily, so Ben would similarly remain.

A curious thought encroached upon his thoughts, of the evening he & Callum could - should - be enjoying: both dressed to tantalise & excite; soft, wanting glances shared between them; whispered assurances pledged & made clear...

Ben couldn't let himself get lost in such sentimentality now though: all such thoughts banished instantly from sight. All that mattered here & now was Callum's safety, & whatever unfaltering steps Ben would need to take to ensure & safeguard it.

As Lexi emitted a gentle sigh from deep within her slumber, Ben stared searchingly into the unflinching glow of her night light, trying desperately to find solutions there.


	204. Chapter 204

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. It's a double-post Sunday, so scroll back a chapter if you haven't read that yet...
> 
> Now for Callum's pov, set in the same time perspective as Ben's pov in the last chapter

## Unseen scene of 11/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Night 1)

Callum shuffled his weight about in a bid to find any sort of position that could be deemed acceptable to him, if never exactly comfortable.

He was already developing a discomfort in his neck, from too many hours with it spent leant back & propped against the wall, while any attempt at lying down was met with fierce protests from his ribs.

It was about two hours since Keanu had left him for the night, Callum guessed, & a definite chill was developing in the air around him: it was mid-February, after all,. Suddenly his suited attire was starting to feel wholly inadequate.

He looked about him: there were empty sacks strewn about the vicinity, so tantalisingly near within his reach, but not quite. That would be tomorrow's focus, he resolved: to gain agreement from Keanu that a few of those sacks could be co-opted into a makeshift bed, & perhaps even a pillow or two.

For now though, Callum would have to make do. He shifted his body position again, this time moving in the direction of the fluorescent tube light, grateful for whatever warmth its vibrant glow could provide.

The light was too bright to look into directly, but Callum was reassured by its presence anyhow: his very own little night light; a beacon of hope in the gloom. 

A reminder there was a world out there still, beyond the depravity of the walls he found himself within. And that in that world was Ben: shining more vividly in Callum's mind than ever before.


	205. Chapter 205

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I'm sure many of the readership are aware, Max Bowden & friends are taking on a sporting endurance challenge in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support today. This is likely a charity that will have touched many of our own friends & family, so it would be nice to think that anyone who enjoys following this fic, & is in a position to do so, drops by to Max's page & makes a donation today, however big, however small. I have already done so, because what would this fic be without the pure acting gold that Max has brought to Ben, just as Tony has to Callum.?
> 
> If you are able to donate, drop by Max's instagram (@bowden5) for the donation page link & updates of the challenge.
> 
> Thank you, & please accept the next chapter in honour of any donation you may choose to make 💕

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

The uncertainty was the worst thing, Callum was fast discovering. He'd observed the gradual change from night into day through the partial cracks in the rafters, yet had no real understanding of what time it was. (He'd given up on marking the true passage of time through sneaked glances at his watch, when the realisation had hit of just how slowly the seconds & minutes were passing).

He similarly had no inkling of when, let alone if, Keanu might return. Or what temperament the man might arrive with if he did come back.

Callum tried hard not to let the 'what if' scenarios run away in his mind, preferring to keep his focus in the present rather than entertain any conjecture about his future. It was hard though, with little visual stimulation to occupy his thoughts. Within this enforced solitude, he was coming to realise just what a people person he was, & just how much he thrived on observing people & their interactions. It was a hang up, he guessed, from the years he'd spent hiding away from his own truth, content to let others take the limelight away from him.

Speaking of light, he'd been kept company since the first breaks of dawn by a fly, that was apparently transfixed by the ever-growing fluorescence of Callum's night light. He'd lost count of the number of times said fly had headbutted its way straight into the bulb, no doubt obliterating another braincell each time. 

The stupid thing kept coming back for more though: endlessly flitting its way around the light source, refusing to admit defeat for even a second. The infernal buzz & beat of its wings threatening to drive Callum stir crazy by the time the sun had finally consented to rise.

Man & fly eventually settled on a truce though, agreeing between themselves that if either of them found a means of escape from this godforsaken place, they would take the other with them too.

Callum had grown so accustomed to the insect's company that he'd even given it a pet name by the time the first sounds of Keanu arriving & forcing open the door down below started to emerge. 

'Rainie' the fly was just like its human namesake: unable to settle to anything & perpetually changing course: deep down though, seeming to be a likeable enough sort, once you took the time to get to know it a bit better.

Callum looked down into his lap, fighting back fond thoughts of his haphazard brother, & his equally madcap girlfriend, as he heard the metronomic stomp of Keanu's heavy-soled boots up the metal staircase.

"Anyone ever told you your boyfriend's a fucking nightmare?" Keanu grumbled as he ascended the final step, not bothering to see if his captive was even in a fit state to listen, let alone respond.

Callum stayed still for a moment, taking time to compose himself, before steadily lifting his head & gaze to look across at Keanu. "It might've been said on the odd occasion..." he concurred, through a voice that was tainted by a night spent amongst so much dust. He expelled a cough, then continued. "Why; what's he done?"

Keanu tossed a set of keys & a phone onto a makeshift shelf to one side. "Stupid twat keeps ringin' your phone, at all hours of the day & night..." He ran a hand harshly along his beard in agitated frustration. "I mean, does he seriously think you're gonna answer it or what?"

Callum raised an acknowledging eyebrow but returned no actual comment, recognising that Ben was playing a clever game: in ringing Callum's mobile, he was serving Keanu with a constant reminder that he wouldn't let this go. "He's windin' you up..." he finally volunteered, permitting himself a wry smile while Keanu's gaze was averted. 

"Yeah well..." Keanu kicked a foot against an empty box to reposition it on the floor. "If I've gotta put up with his constant nagging interruptions, you can too..." Retrieving Callum's phone from the inside of his bomber jacket, Keanu placed it down on the box.

"Course, what he's probably too self-absorbed to realise..." Keanu continued with scorn as he took a seat opposite Callum, the phone equidistant between them & in clear view for both of them. "Is that sooner rather than later that phone of yours is gonna run out of battery life, so then it won't be much use to either of you..."

As if responding to a cue, the phone then lit up & sounded with an incoming call, drawing both men to look upon it. 

"Thirty-eight percent battery life left..." Keanu advised darkly. "How long d'ya reckon this is gonna take?" The shit-eating smirk developing on his face a demonstration he planned on revelling in every last second. “And if it isn’t the phone that gives up the ghost first, which of us will it be? You, me, or lover boy…”


	206. Chapter 206

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

_"Hey, you've reached Callum Highway. I can't answer the phone right now, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you soon as..."_

Ben knew the words off by heart by now, as he listened to Callum's recorded salutation for the umpteenth time, then sighed, disconnecting the call before any message started to record. 

He could admit it to himself now, that his initial reason for calling Callum's phone in the lull of the previous night had been for intensely selfish reasons: a need to hear his man's voice, to feel his settling presence at least artificially nearby.

It had become a near infatuation by now, the middle of the next day. But no longer solely for reasons of imbibing the cherished cadence of Callum's voice.

It ha occurred to Ben, you see, that if Keanu was prowling the streets of Walford, maintaining a low profile, the erratic ringing of a mobile phone on his person would be a cause of disquiet & alarm.

Maybe if luck were even a little on Ben's side, he might catch Keanu out by ringing Callum's phone at the most inopportune of moments: where, as Keanu lurked in the shadows, an unsuspecting passer-by might hear the ring tone, be struck its familiarity, spin on their heels to think it would be Callum they'd find nearby.

And maybe, just maybe, if that passer-by was Stuart, & he for once in his life put two-&-two together, coming up with the correct answer for a change, he'd realise there was an imposter in their midst, & save his brother from Keanu's clutches...

Ben scrubbed unevenly at his face, dissatisfied with himself that his fanciful pipedreams now involved the notion that Stuart Highway might somehow save the day. He glanced at the coffee cup in front of him, & blamed it all on too much caffeine.

He'd just call Callum's phone one last time, then be on his toes away from the Caff, before the luring scent of the coffee pot could threaten to pull him in again. 

One last listen to Callum's voice - warm, comforting & cheering, & so far removed from his muffled screams down the phone line the previous day that Ben hoped to banish that particular memory for good - then Ben was certain progress awaited. He may well have been about to sell his soul to the devil, but for Callum, it would be worth it.


	207. Chapter 207

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

“Persistent little fucker, ain’t he?” Keanu mused out loud, as the mobile phone situated between himself & Callum began to chime & vibrate once more as an indication of an incoming call. Just as on the previous two times it had rung during the frankly interminable time Keanu had been entertaining this little game, the phone was steadily vibrating its way from the centre of the box & ever closer to its edge.

Keanu smiled mockingly, apparently having himself far too much fun. “Was he this relentless when he was tempting you from the arms of the delectable Whitney, & into his bed instead?” Content with his latest psychological jibe, Keanu stretched his legs out in front of himself, lifted his palms to the back of his head & basked in the comfort of leaning back against an enveloping collection of sacks.

Callum simply rolled his eyes in response, unwilling to give his captor the satisfaction of an answer to such a ridiculous question. 

Keanu wasn’t deterred though. “Oh come on now Callum, work with me here. I’m curious…” He shuffled his weight forward, a little conspiratorially. “What’s Ben Mitchel got that Whitney Dean hasn’t? I mean, apart from the obvious; although from my perspective of late, I reckon I’d have reasonable cause to question whether he’s actually got any balls at all…”

They were both momentarily distracted as the phone’s latest session of ringing stopped, giving Callum welcome respite to come up with an adequate response. He was teetering on a constant knife edge of trying to appease his captor, while never unintentionally furnishing him with any weapon of knowledge Keanu could later use against either himself or Ben. 

Callum quenched his lower lip with a trail of his tongue along it, trying not to think of how many hours had amassed since he’d last had a drink. “I’m a gay man, Keanu…” he eventually settled to explain. “I reckon yer probably already at least part way there to working out an answer to that question all by yerself…”

It was wearing, though, being constantly vigilant to Keanu’s power games, while enduring the antagonism of his attempts at psychological one-upmanship. Even Rainie the fly had done a disappearing act for the meantime, apparently unwilling to subject itself to this level of perpetual humdrum. It really did come to something, Callum pondered, if a fly that had spent most of its waking existence slamming headfirst into a light fitting, had found the scene playing out around it far less satisfying than that particular occupation, & scarpered as a consequence. 

The recollection of Ben’s encouraging pep talk just prior to Keanu’s appearance on the scene floated its way into Callum’s thoughts for no apparent reason – _this is a new Callum; the Callum that if he gets hassled, he stands up & brushes himself off _– so he decided there & then to seize on the sentiment of it, realising he’d rather risk the jeopardy of a double bluff than continue the passive course he was currently charting. “Why Ben?” he enquired defiantly. “Why’d you come after Ben & not Phil?”

Keanu was intrigued by the interjection, tilting his head inquisitively to one side & looking Callum firm in the eye. “Have you not been keeping up with this whole plot Callum? You know, the whole bit where your boyfriend ordered a hit on me in some dingy warehouse?” He stroked at the facial growth covering his chin. “One not so dissimilar to this one, as it goes…”

Callum ignored the latest attempt to unsettle him, & carried on regardless. “Everythin’ Ben does is at his Dad’s whim. Ain’t it ever occurred to you that maybe both you & Ben are just collateral damage in Phil’s eyes?”

“Ben ain’t the victim Callum…” Keanu shook his head as an instant means of dismissal. “Kid yourself into believing he is, if that’s the way you can get to sleep beside him at night, but we both know it’s me that’s the real victim here…”

Callum schooled his expression into one of whimsical disbelief. “Ironic statement that, considerin’ I’m the one locked up ‘ere in chains…” He quietly watched the squirming discomfort of his captor as the impact of his words hit home, then gently closed his eyes, content to let that particular thought stew in Keanu’s mind for a while.


	208. Chapter 208

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rare occurrence indeed here, as neither Ben or Callum appear directly in this chapter, nor is the narrative from either of their perspectives. 
> 
> Keanu's got something on his mind...

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

Keanu kicked an empty drinks can against an exterior wall of the warehouse, as he sought to release some pent up frustrations & formulate a new plan, because so far his day hadn't gone as he'd either hoped or intended.

There had been no indication from Ben that progress with obtaining the ransom money had been made, while Callum was proving to be a more formidable hostage than he'd imagined.

Schedules & strategies he'd held in his mind were starting to unravel, & Keanu knew he needed to regain some control. Fast.

The only real power he could truly hold over Callum it seemed was the threat of further physical violence, as contrary to what he'd thought would be the case, the man's psychological state seemed firmly intact.

In his heart of hearts, though, Keanu knew he wasn't cut out to deliver physical beating on physical beating. He'd hoped the previous day’s events would have been all the brutality that would be needed to bring matters to a close.

Now though, with radio silence from Ben, save his perpetual nuisance calling of Callum's phone, Keanu wasn't so sure.

Scuffing his foot against the rim of the discarded can so he could nudge it back away from the wall, his gaze lingered pensively on the vision of his boot, knowing that would be his best means of inflicting further physical incentives for Ben to hurry matters along.

He kicked the can against the wall for a second time, with greater purpose this time, listening to the resounding clatter & then turning away in disgust. There had to be an alternative way of getting his impatience across: there had to be another way that didn't involve quite such direct brutality, for the short term at least.

As he paced around erratically, rubbing a hand to the back of his neck, he glanced at the drinks can again, observing the fading trickle of its contents making their escape.

As instantly as that, inspiration struck, & a new plan started to form in his mind. It was time to take back control from his hostage, & ramp up the pressure on Ben.


	209. Chapter 209

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

"Twenty-two percent battery life still left..." Keanu's snarling observation prompted Callum to reluctantly open his eyes & engage once more with the man. He did so though with a searing look of disapproval across his features.

"Reckon that should give us enough juice to return a call to lover boy..." Keanu continued, greeting Callum's renewed interaction with a wicked smirk.

Callum took his time in responding, repositioning his weight to ensure he didn't remain in any one position that may unduly stress his body for too long. During Keanu's temporary, & disappointingly short absence, Callum had been practicing the art of mindfulness, keeping himself present in the moment. He found it helped regulate his breathing, & take his attention away from the rumbling of his increasingly empty stomach, & the parched dryness of his sore lips.

"I told ya before Keanu, I won't play them mind games for ya with Ben..." Callum sighed deeply, feeling like they were scrolling back through a subject they'd addressed before. "If you call Ben, I still ain't talkin'..."

It was a dangerous play & Callum knew it, though he tried not to show the fear he could feel rising within. The last time he'd refused to speak with Ben, a beating had followed. Even so, he'd take that again before taking any verbal part in toying with his boyfriend's vulnerable emotions.

"You sure you don't wanna change your mind on that?" Keanu stepped in menacingly to his hostage's space, towering over him.

Callum gulped down his trepidation, & responded in the affirmative. "Positive..." he concurred, eyes holding strong in the face of Keanu's glare.

Keanu too held firm in the stare for what felt like agonisingly long seconds. "And you're sure there's nothing at all that might change your mind, are you?"

Callum stayed adamant & mindful, batting away deep, looming whispers within of the one thing that might cause him to alter his stance: _If you dare hurt Ben; don't you dare hurt Ben..._

"My mind ain't for changin'..." Callum reiterated firmly, already mentally preparing himself for the bludgeoning that was sure to follow: he'd survived it once, so could do so again, he reminded himself through calming, deep breaths.

The anticipated beating didn't come though: Keanu instead striding away to retrieve something unseen from the shadows. He then adjusted the position of a nearby crate to take a seat directly opposite Callum, just on the far side of the box that was still accommodating his phone.

"It's all about risk & reward, this game..." Keanu began his dark explanation of the revised terms he was setting out. "I've got the one reward you want - the one reward you need - more than anything else right now. And you risk not getting it if you still refuse to speak down that phone..."

The sickening thought briefly glanced through Callum's mind that Keanu had Ben too, but that fear was rapidly allayed when Keanu brought what he was referring to into vision, placing it alongside the phone on the box.

"It's a simple trade off Callum..." Keanu pressed home, drawing his captive's full attention to the items in front of him. "So what's it to be?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the question is, what's Keanu using as a bargaining tool, & will Callum accept his terms...
> 
> Give me your best guesses, gang 😃 You'll find out the answer tomorrow, but I'm curious to hear how individuals interpret this one in the meantime...


	210. Chapter 210

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

Callum’s gaze flitted pensively between the items placed before him, & the insistent goading grin on Keanu’s face. He already knew the decision he was about to take was entirely at odds with what Ben would urge him to do, & would likely have consequences for his own wellbeing, but Callum couldn’t, wouldn’t, put Ben through the torment of a phone call between them. 

“I ain’t gonna change my mind…” he asserted again, diverting his gaze solely towards his captor. “I won’t play a part in you tryin’ to break Ben…”  
“But you’ll take one for the team & break yourself instead?” Keanu sucked in a disbelieving breath of air. “Tell me something: if the boot was on the other foot, would Ben do that for you too?”

Callum glanced away, hesitant of giving too much of Ben away to a man desperate to hold power over him. “Yeah,” he eventually concurred with a nod though. “Yeah, he would…”

“It’s all very noble Callum, really it is…” Keanu chided scornfully. “But just think for a minute about what you’ll be putting yourself through here…” He took a calculating glance at his watch. “It’s already been about 18 hours since I last gave you access to water. Now here am I, offering you a whole fresh, thirst-quenching bottle of the stuff, & all I ask in return is one small favour of you…”

Callum dared the briefest of looks toward the bottle of water that had been presented to him, but already knew it was something he couldn’t look to for long, in case of his resolve breaking. He was thirsty, so thirsty, he couldn’t deny it: something of his musty surroundings leaving him with an almost constant wish to moisten his lips & rehydrate his mouth. 

The deal Keanu was offering wouldn’t be as simple as it seemed, though, Callum was certain of it. Any phone call between himself & Ben wouldn’t be in private, & Keanu was sure to be holding a darker agenda for it. The choice was an easy one in Callum’s mind: if by partaking in a phone call with Ben, he was effectively consenting for them both to be hurt, this way at least, only he himself stood to suffer. “I’ll take my chances…” Callum looked away in disdain. “I survived drier conditions than this in the Army after all…”

Keanu rose slowly to his feet. “God knows what Ben’s done to deserve this much loyalty from you…” He snatched up the bottle of water from the box, but left Callum’s phone in situ. “You’d better just start hoping to god he feels some similar sense of duty towards you…”

With heavy, laden footsteps, Keanu took purposeful steps towards his captive. “Final chance…” he unscrewed the cap from the bottle of water, which he then dangled in front of Callum’s nose. 

Callum turned his head, but Keanu continued to tease the presence of the bottle close to him. Callum though simply shook his head defiantly. “I won’t participate in your games to hurt Ben, & I won’t sit ‘ere & listen to you doin’ it, either…” 

“Oh, but you will Callum…” Keanu drawled out slowly, as he tipped the water bottle upside down & let its contents cascade to the floor, just shy of Callum’s legs. “Give it time, & you will…” He reached down sharply, & tugged the gag back to his hostage’s mouth without warning. 

“You’ve made your bed here Callum,” Keanu warned darkly, kicking up a splash of water from the puddle it had created on the floor. “So now you can lie in it…” He began to walk away, pausing when he got to the top of the stairs, to offer one final thought. “And while you do that, seeing as you won’t give lover boy a call, I might just go & pay him a visit myself…”

A reckless smile beamed across Keanu’s face that sent an instant shot of dread surging down Callum’s spine, prompting his eyes to widen with fear & his breathing to turn erratic. _Don’t you dare hurt him; don’t you dare hurt him…_ The thought scrolled on repeat through Callum’s suddenly frenetic mind.

Keanu saw the first real hint of a break in the man then: it was time now to repeat a similar feat, this time with Ben Mitchell himself…


	211. Chapter 211

## Actual scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

Ben sat at his kitchen table, scrolling through the endless terms & conditions of a loan with the harshest of interest rates, about to sign a deal with the devil of the money-lending world that would at least see a significant amount of the money Keanu was demanding in his possession in 24 hours’ time.

He looked up through beleaguered eyes at the sound of the door opening, & found himself face-to-face with the man who was demanding the payoff, but more importantly holding Callum’s life in his hands. 

They stared accusingly at one another for a moment, each silently blaming the other for the position they were in, before Ben broke the uneasy stalemate. “I’m sortin’ it, ok…” he wagged his phone in evidence. “Now money like that,” he sighed, “it takes some findin’…”

Keanu was already disinterested in listening to reasoning, ambling his way further into the room. “I don’t care where you find it, it’s where it ends up: that’s all I’m interested in”.  
“You’ll, you’ll get it…” Ben waved a pacifying hand in the air, a concession to Keanu that he was trying to meet his demands, but despairing that the man just wouldn’t listen, all at the same time.   
“When?” Keanu countered impatiently, “cos all this delay ain’t exactly helping your boyfriend…”

Ben’s hand dropped like a stone at the mention of Callum, & he rose to his feet aggressively. “If you have done anythin’ else…” He began to steady encircle the table.  
“It’s down to you what I do…” Keanu sought to swiftly interject, keen to remind Ben that Callum’s future was in his hands.  
“Then I swear…” continued his hushed undertone of threat regardless.   
“What? What will you do?” Keanu stood firm. “Take me out? The only person in the world who knows exactly where lover boy is right now…”

Ben recoiled in the horror that notion was entirely true: breathing rising to an unsteady rate, & unable to look Callum’s tormentor in the eye. “I just…”  
“What?” Keanu continued to press, knowing he had Ben on the ropes.  
“I just want him home, alright…” Ben admitted, eyes suddenly glued to the floor.

“Home…” Keanu repeated on a breath of amusement.   
“What?” That interruption brought Ben back from himself, as he looked across to the other man for clarification.

Keanu looked slowly around them, taking in some of the walls he used to live between. “It’s weird, isn’t it? You never think about it, not really…Until you can’t go back there no more & you think about it all the time…”  
Ben shuffled uncomfortably on his feet.  
“Lookin’ at Callum right now, it’s like looking in a mirror…” Keanu continued sinisterly. “When’s it gonna happen? When am I gonna see all them people who mean the world to me?”

Ben had heard as much as he could take. “I just…” Fearful to think of Callum in that state.  
“What?” Keanu prodded again.  
Unable to withstand his persecutor’s piercing stare, Ben looked away & upwards to the ceiling. Tears of inadequacy & distress beginning to well in his eyes. “Just…” He swallowed down his pride, if not quite his level of upset. “Don’t…” Fighting back tears made it a struggle to find the words to fully convey what he was feeling, “…Hurt him any more, please…” His final word anchored by a telling plea from his eyes.

Keanu’s face contorted into a discomforting grin at the revelation before him. “So Ben Mitchell does have feelings…”  
Ben’s head simply dropped in shame, knowing how much of himself he had given away. 

“You’d best get that money quick then…” Keanu suggested dryly. “I can’t get back there too often right now…”  
Ben glanced back, unnerved by the insinuation being made.  
“Don’t want him to run out, do we? Food…water…” Keanu opted not to play his ace card for now, saving the nugget of information that Callum was already heading dangerously towards such dire consequences. He’d save that for further ammunition, should it be needed.

Ben was rattled, feeling like a caged animal being taunted by its prey. He couldn’t take any more of the anguish, so did what he knew best & lashed out. “This isn’t his fight…” he shouted out loudly, with obvious anger & boiling frustration. 

Keanu was unmoved. “What happened back in that warehouse with Martin wasn’t Martin’s fight either. But it didn’t stop you, did it?” There was an apparent bitterness suddenly in his tone.  
Ben remained agitated, not knowing where to look, what to say, where to put himself even.

“And Callum knew all about it,” Keanu suggested judgementally. “Real peas in a pod, aren’t ya?”  
“And you’re a piece of work, ain’t ya?” That Keanu possessed the knowledge that Callum had known of his presumed fate, seemed to pass Ben by as he tried to stand defiant once more, arms folded across his front for purposes of both deflection & self-comfort. 

“I wasn’t…” Keanu shook his head in refusal. “I was just a simple guy, tryin’a get by & mind my own business. Take a bow Ben, look what you’ve done…”   
Ben held silent, in spite of the abhorrent connotation.   
“Tomorrow: one o’clock…” Keanu though didn’t allow him much time to dwell. “After that I’ll be waving goodbye…” He spun a little on his heels, as if making to leave. “Just like Callum…”

Ben tried his darnedest not to flinch at that final threat, however frightful it felt. He silently watched the man depart, swallowing down hard, then casting a glance at his long-since discarded phone, the realisation starting to hit that a deal with a loan shark would no longer be sufficient, & that he would have to throw himself to the mercy of a lone wolf instead.


	212. Chapter 212

## Actual scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

Ben had paced the floors of the Mitchell house for so long that he had all but worn his way through the carpets. Now finding himself back in the kitchen, he chewed down anxiously on a thumbnail, looking between his phone on the table, & the clock on the wall, & realising he really did have no other options left open to him. 

Finally accepting he could afford to waste no further time, he dared himself to pick up the phone, & worked his way through his list of contacts, eventually settling on the person he knew he had to call, even though he was fearful of the response he might receive.

Holding the phone to his ear, he began to agitatedly pace once more, as he first waited for the call to connect, then hoped upon hope it would be answered. Ring followed ring followed ring, & with every one that passed, Ben’s felt his nerves fray a little more, & the tempo of his breathing reached fever pitch with anxiety.

Just as he thought he could hang on no more, the call went to voicemail, as he had known it predictably would. There was no cheery greeting message, like that of Callum’s; just the standard service provider default, confirming the number he had reached & asking him to leave a message after the tone. Wanted men on the run didn’t tend to leave personalised trails of their whereabouts, after all.

Ben took a deep intake of breath & spoke down the line. “Dad, it’s me…” His voice sounding obviously choked by emotion. Unable to stop the tears from falling, he finished leaving his message before the sobs could fully form. “I need your ‘elp…”  



	213. Chapter 213

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I fear the heat may had addled my brain, so apologies that this is most likely rubbish

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

The anxious pacing about started again once the sobs had subsided. With every minute that lapsed, Ben's sense of dread grew as to Callum's welfare, & his father's impending response to the news Keanu wasn't dead. 

This was one of those father-son conversations Ben wasn't looking forward to, but for Callum's sake he'd take the consequences: disowning, beating, disinheritance - Ben had endured it all in the past already, so a few choice words down the phone from his father could cause little more hurt than already existed after all.

Ben clutched his mobile phone tight in one hand, & the framed photo he'd liberated from Callum's flat in the other: gripping onto them as if his only two life lines in the world right now.

He longed to call Callum's phone again; take in the reassurance of that soothing voice, but didn't dare to, for fear he'd miss his father's call.

_So Ben Mitchell does have feelings, after all..._ Keanu's snide assertion haunted Ben's mind, as he gazed into the photo & a notion that he hadn't dared put into words previously sprang into his head. "I..." he choked out at a whisper, looking deep into Callum's glistening eyes, & realising it was he himself that was starstruck. "I..." The bubble burst though by the sudden ringing of his phone.

Ben roughly dragged the sleeve of his shirt against his nose & mouth, to blot away the excess of fallen tears, then shakily accepted the call. "Dad?"

"I thought we'd agreed to let the dust settle before makin' contact..." Phil, abrupt & to the point as ever, with little time for platitudes & niceties, began to instantly undermine his son as being in the wrong.  
"We did Dad we did..." Ben sniffed out a guarded response. "But things have changed..."  
"Changed how?" Phil's suspicions began to grow & he interjected abruptly.

Ben gnawed harshly down on his thumbnail, in full knowledge of the ructions his admission would cause. "Callum's in trouble Dad..." his voice had nearly broken with emotion when voicing his boyfriend's name. "I'm in trouble.. "

"What have you done?" The accompanying sigh evidence in Phil's tone of his lack of surprise his son had messed something up.

Ben took a deep steadying breath. "Keanu..." the name tumbled from his lips with a whispered sense of shame. If it was possible to hear a person's blood pressure rising down a phone line, Ben was certain he could. "He's...he's still alive, & he's taken Callum as revenge..."

The silence from the other end of the phone was deafening as Phil absorbed what he was being told. Ben could well imagine the tightly-clenched fist slammed into a wall; the ever-reddening of his father's jowls.

Ben beaced himself for the thunderous roar that was imminent, he was sure: the blitz of cursed names he would be called under the sun. He placed the photo frame down on the table in preparation, bracing a hand to the piece of furniture for security.

None of that came though, as Phil simply questioned his son calmly down the phone. "When did he take him?"  
The steadiness of the enquiry caught Ben off guard, as he tried to stutter out a coherent response. "I, um..."

"Ben," Phil reiterated firmly for attention. "When did he take Callum?"  
"Yesterday..." Ben managed breathlessly. "Yesterday mornin'...He's demandin' money Dad - the kind of figure I just ain't got".  
"How much?" Phil prompted, remarkably evenly again.  
"Hundred grand... " Ben admitted fearfully. "He's hurt 'im Dad; given 'im a proper beatin'...I can't, I can't..." The words began to fail him as his emotions took over & a shaking sob escaped him.

"Who else knows?" Phil, apparently unmoved that his son was becoming increasingly distraught, continued with his line of questioning.  
"Nobody else knows..." Ben sniffed out, then amended his response in the realisation that wasn't quite true. "Well Martin, he knows, for all the good he's done..."

There was another prolonged silence, as Phil seemed to consider his options from beneath the Portuguese sunshine. Finally he settled on a decision, as Ben's erratic breathing filled the vacuum of any other noise. "I'll sort this for you, alright? You just sit tight..."  
Ben took in a sharp gulp of breath. "He's set a deadline, Dad. Wants it by 1pm tomorrow..."  
"And he'll get it by 1pm tomorrow..." Phil affirmed gruffly. "Now do as I say: sit tight, & keep this under your hat while I sort things..."  
"Th...thanks Dad..." Ben gave his cautious appreciation. "I will owe you big time for this..."

Phil huffed out a laugh that Ben couldn't quite interpret as whether amusement or exasperation. "Trust me, we'll talk about that another time..."


	214. Chapter 214

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 2)

Callum’s stare stayed fixed on the mobile phone in front of him, as he struggled on with his attempts to regulate his breathing correctly behind the restrictive claustrophobia of the gag. Every time he forgot himself & began to inadvertently attempt breaths through his mouth, he found a clogging build-up of moisture surround him, which quickly escalated him towards sensations of hyperventilation. 

That was the least of his concerns though, as he reminded himself to breathe solely through his nose once more, returning his core temperature to something near normal, & feeling the wave of panic begin to subside. His fretfulness didn’t pass with it though, because with every second that another call from Ben failed to ring through, Callum grew increasingly fearful as to the fate he was suffering at Keanu’s hands. 

He knew the battery hadn’t died, because the tell-tale low battery notification had yet to chime, which it always did at 15 percent. The waiting, the not knowing, was a greater form of torture than anything Keanu had inflicted so far to date: Callum needed to distract himself, somehow keep himself calm.

He glanced around, determined to divert his mind from the troublingly silent phone for a few moments at least. Rainie the fly was still mid disappearing act, he noted: the treacherous deserter. Callum had often wondered as a child what it would be like to sprout wings & be able to fly: he smiled fondly to himself though, that maybe in his own unique way, he’d done precisely that in the past eight months.

The query spun through his mind, for no particular reason he could pinpoint other than the momentary recollection of a recent conversation with Ben about Valentine’s Day, as to what they should class as their actual anniversary as a couple. What was the etiquette here? Callum wasn’t sure…Did they go by the date of their rendezvous in the park? The time Callum had come out & kissed Ben in public? The day they had committed to one another as boyfriends?

But then what of the time they’d spent apart over Christmas? Could that simply be absorbed into the time lapse, or did their anniversary have to be set at the point they got back together after that? And when, come to think of it, even was that? Was it that glorious day on which Ben had decided to stop running, or their impromptu reunion in the Car Lot, the thought of which still brought a blush to Callum’s cheeks even now…

One thing was certain, Callum pondered to himself in unexpected amusement, life was never likely to be dull with Ben Mitchell in his life. He let his eyes drift shut at that thought, relieved to have settled on something to ease his woes for a while at least. And then he heard it, the most glorious sound of all: the ringing of his phone by Ben. What Keanu had intended would be an implement of torture to Callum, now gave him a much needed spike of strength from within.


	215. Chapter 215

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek, three & a bit weeks to go until EE canon returns, & I've still not even got Callum out of this darn warehouse. 
> 
> I'm going to have to up my productivity...Still, I promised I'd give Callum's tale of this kidnapping, so won't be tempted to rush through it...

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Night 2)

He felt himself come to with a start, but his eyes were so heavy, so drawn, that it took time for them to open. That was what unquenched thirst did for you, he supposed.

Callum guessed quite some time had lapsed since he'd last been fully aware of his surroundings, given the darkness that now seemed to surround him, & the chill that was enveloping his bones.

He shifted his weight cautiously, feeling instant jabs of pain in places he hadn't truly known even existed. There was a damp-soaked patch on the calf of his trouser leg, that he realised was from the puddle of bottled water left by Keanu. Somewhere deep down, Callum heaved a sigh of relief it wasn't from something else entirely.

The cloth material of his gag lay heavy at his skin: mildewed as it was by a potent mixture of saliva & dust. He gulped down hard, determined not to dwell on the quenching appearance of the puddle: just the merest sip though, he was certain would be ecstasy.

As his vision finally became accustomed to the distorted light of the night, he started to look around him, & was immediately alarmed to find a pair of eyes looking back at him. He closed his own eyes from that horror for a moment: fearful that Keanu had returned &, even more frightfully, had been watching him sleep. That privilege was reserved for the eyes of one man alone after all.

Slowly, Callum resolved on reopening his eyes, to face the monster that lurked, ultimately relieved to find it wasn't Keanu, but a much smaller creature there.

It watched with intent, glaring eyes that spoke of conducting a full survey of your innermost thoughts, while not saying a word: there was an intensity to that appraising stare that Callum had seen before somewhere.

The sort of stare that implied _this isn't your home; you don't fit in here: you look to be in the most ridiculous state:_ the creature stood self-assured in its own skin, while highly judgemental of all interlopers. 

Callum stared it firm within the eye, but felt the effects of dehydration steadily consume him. The last decision he took, before the need to sleep overwhelmed him: he'd bestow the rodent creature with a name…

From here on in, he'd call it Shirley...


	216. Chapter 216

## Unseen scene of 13/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Night 2)

Callum emitted an audible groan the next time he woke, the strain of his plight now really taking its toll 

The gag, which had previously held firm at his mouth, now sagged within it, having succumbed to the relentless drool from his lips. The skin beneath the restraints at his wrists was now developing a fierce, burning itch.

His hair, usually exquisitely crafted, was now drooping limply into his eyes, & he craved the ability to sweep it back with one of his hands.

He rattled his hands within the restraints, desperate for the tethers to loosen even just a bit, but they wouldn't budge. 

It must have grown cold in the night, because he had once again huddled into the fluorescent tube light for warmth, albeit subconsciously this time.

The low battery chime of his mobile phone sounded before him, breaking whatever minimal train of thought he had going. The notion occurring to him that maybe it wasn't just that battery that was on its last legs, & that the phone's now increasingly frequent reminders of its diminishing power might be just as much a countdown of his own mortality.

If he'd had any spare energy at all, he might just have sobbed.


	217. Chapter 217

## Unseen scene of 14/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

Callum hadn't heard Keanu's approach: his first awareness his kidnapper had returned being the nudge of a foot to the sole of his shoe, & the slip of the gag from his mouth, both of which made Callum unwittingly flinch in surprise.

He cautiously opened his eyes: no mean feat in itself, when your innards felt so parched you weren't even sure enough moisture remained to keep your eyes functioning. They responded with a frightful stinging, grating pain, & protested by taking their time to focus on Keanu's features as Callum squinted up at him.

Seeing the state of the man before him, Keanu gave a withering shake of his head - an expression that seemed to ask if this level of self-sacrifice could ever be worth it for Ben Mitchell. He retreated into the shadows away from view, & Callum tried to ignore the stabbing shards in his eyes to focus on taking in some long breaths of much-needed air instead. 

There was a pronounced wheeze emitting from his chest every time he did so though, & Callum solemnly faced the fearful understanding for the first time that his body was giving in. He closed his eyes at the thought. 

He was only aware that Keanu had returned to his side when his monosyllabic tone grunted through the ether: Callum uncertain as to whether his hearing was playing up, or he was now slipping to & from consciousness. 

"Drink..." Keanu repeated, prompting Callum to again open his eyes, to find the unlikely sight of Keanu squatted down on his haunches to offer a bottle of water with a straw protruding from it.

Callum remained uncertain, fearful as to what the associated catch might be.  
Keanu though simply pressed the straw to his captive's lips & asserted again. "Drink, cos funnily enough you ain't much good dead to me..."

Callum gave the faintest of agreeing nods, then focused all his energy on sipping through the straw. He remembered from the last time, despite his deteriorating state, that several short sips were better than one drawn attempt.

Keanu though, all-too-soon moved the bottle away, Callum about to misinterpret the manoeuvre when his captor spoke up. "You can have some more in a moment, I promise; just don't think your body will cope with an overload..."

Callum again nodded, then leant his head back against the wall to savour the sensation of liquid filtering through his body once more. His tongue making a thirsty swipe up of any excess moisture from his lips.

Keanu stayed present at his side throughout, as if pensively studying the breakage he had caused: a growing frown ever developing on his face. "Take on some more now..." he guided evenly, again holding the straw to Callum's lips. "A little more this time, but be careful not to gulp at it..."  
Callum, driven by desperation for hydration, was powerless but to follow the instruction given. 

"Lesson learned now maybe, eh?" Keanu observed wryly as his hostage imbibed every bit of liquid on offer to him. "Nothin' & no-one is worth holdin' that much blind faith in that you destroy yourself in the process. You might wanna remember that, Callum..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keanu Taylor is turning into a great unsung philosopher of out time; who'd of thunk it 😁


	218. Chapter 218

## Unseen scene of 14/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

"You're quiet today..." Keanu turned from where he'd previously had his back to Callum while fiddling about idly with some sort of staple gun.

The incessant press of the device to the nearest solid object, & subsequent release of staple after staple into it, had been slowly driving Callum to despair. He was, though, feeling relatively refreshed from the entire bottle of water he'd been granted permission to consume, so settled on distancing himself from his aches & pains by returning the apparent banter.

"Yeah well," he sighed, delivering Keanu a withering look. "I ain't been out & about much since the last time ya saw me, so not much news to impart from my world..."

Keanu responded with a momentary expression of confusion that suggested he was struggling to interpret his captive's tone, before eventually realising he was being sarcastic. "Surprisingly sharp-witted that one," he sniffed out in commendation. "Given your current predicament..."

Callum examined his captor closely at that, trying to judge the mood of the man. He saw different sides to him each time, & today thought he seemed a little distracted; a little preoccupied.

Callum was trying to decipher exactly what that mood might translate into for himself, when his mobile phone, still on the box between them, let out its final & most urgent low battery warning: the three dull pulses meaning it was down to its final five percent of charge.

They'd both glanced to the phone when it sounded, then back to one another. Callum deciding in that moment that time was now of the essence & he might as well ask the question cartwheeling through his mind. "Did you..." he coughed back some bile in his throat. "Did you go to see Ben?"

Keanu studied the other man intently, then settled on a mind game in reply. "What do you reckon, Callum: would you rather I had, or I hadn't?"

Callum understood the response to be the taunt it was intended to be, so refused to react to it. "I ain't sure my feelings have anythin' to do with any of this, so why would you suddenly care now?"

Keanu gave a shrug of apparent lack of concern, accompanied by a malicious grin. "He's got alot of pent up aggression, that boyfriend of yours. Needs to learn a bit of respect for those in authority..."

"And that's you, is it?" Callum queried uneasily.  
"Right now," Keanu confirmed, firing another staple into the nearest structure. "I am most definitely the one in authority, & I made sure to remind your precious Ben of that by giving him a deadline to work to..."

Callum swallowed down his growing anxiety to continue to look Keanu firm in the eye. "Which is when exactly?"

"Oh not long now..." Keanu smirked in a defiant tone of impending doom. "Not long now at all..."


	219. Chapter 219

## Unseen scene merging into actual scene of 14/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

“So what is it then?” Callum was quite frankly sick & tired of Keanu’s games & had decided, by the increasingly haunted look of the man, that he maybe was too. “This bounty you’ve put on my head?”

Keanu gave a sardonic chuckle at the tenacity of the man in chains before him. “Hundred grand…” he offered as evenly as if reading out the daily football scores, while turning away. He needed to maintain a grip on the situation, not let his captive gain a sniff of an upper hand. “Your boyfriend’s cuttin’ it a bit fine…” _That should do it,_ he thought to himself by way of appeasement, _remind him again that time is ticking by._

“You know that Ben ain’t got that sort of money Keanu…” Callum sat still, hands set in his lap, as he delivered what were sage words.  
“I don’t know nothing, not any more…” Keanu seemed immediately agitated, despite himself, raising his arms in exasperation. “Things used to be simple then. There were rules; lines you don’t cross. But that’s all out of the window as far as your boyfriend’s concerned…”

Callum took his time to absorb the explanation being offered, privately pondering its validity given Keanu had most definitely crossed a line where Sharon was concerned. “Ben’s not the one keepin’ me ‘ere, is he?”  
“He’s the one that could get you out though,” Keanu retaliated definitively. “One phone call & this’ll all be over…”

The strain of keeping control – over himself, over Callum – was starting to tell on Keanu though, who lifted a hand to his face & rubbed wearily at his eyes for a moment. He gave a loud sniff in a bid to regain composure.   
Callum though, had seen through it all. “This really ain’t you, is it?” He suggested, a notable tone of calm evident in his voice.

The captive was outsmarting the captor, & both men knew it: Keanu shifting his weight nervously between his feet. “That’s what I said to Martin, back in that warehouse. This ain’t you…none of it…”  
Callum nodded his head in understanding.  
“And I was right. And, and yeah, you’re right…” Keanu threw out a hand to gesture in Callum’s direction. “If you’d of told me a few months ago I’d be pullin’ a stunt like this…”

Keanu stopped himself, mindful he was maybe giving to much of himself away. He stared his eyes deep into Callum’s to instead deliver a sobering warning. “But that’s what happens, when you get involved with the Mitchells…Everything changes…You change…”

Callum took the sentiment on board without offering any reaction, he couldn’t exactly deny it after all, letting his gaze simply drift away from Keanu’s, as the man gave one final whispered observation. “Look at me & you…”


	220. Chapter 220

## Actual scene of 14/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

Ben had been on tenterhooks for hours, when the text had finally come through from his father at 9.45am.

_Don’t worry money’s on its way_

He bustled out of the Caff, leaving his mother in his wake to finish making whatever judgement she was about his qualities as a boyfriend to Callum, & all thoughts of the flat white he had ordered long-since forgotten. Steaming back into the Mitchell kitchen, then pushing the adjoining door to the living space gently closed away from prying ears, he dialled Keanu’s number, speaking as soon as he heard the call connect. “I’ve got the money”.

“No point you havin’ it…” Keanu responded drolly, while Callum looked on, already knowing it was Ben on the other end of the line, even if it was only one side of the conversation that he was destined to hear. 

“I’ll get it to ya…” Ben affirmed down the line.  
“When?”  
“Today…”  
“When?” Keanu was only interested in the major details, so prompted again swiftly.  
“The minute it lands…”

Callum could sense the growing irritation from Keanu’s body language alone, as the man slowly turned to angle his body back in his direction, & agitate his weight from foot to foot once again. “So you don’t actually have the money then…” Callum tried hard not to over-imagine what Ben’s response to that might be.  
“As good as…now where’s Callum?”

“When did you last see me?” Keanu proffered, ignoring the question he’d been asked. Callum instantly feeling a rising sense of dread.  
“What?” Ben countered back, equally defiant.  
“Yesterday, right?” Keanu interjected coldly. “Did you see the word mug tattooed all over my forehead?”

Callum felt his worst fears coming true: that Ben was agitating rather than appeasing. He glanced down in forlorn regret.  
“You’ve got ‘til one…” Callum look back across the space between them at Keanu’s order. “And you don’t wanna know what ‘appens if you don’t come through by then…” With those threat-laden words too much too bear, Callum closed his eyes to the torrent, suddenly wishing he didn’t have to hear either part of the continuing conversation. There was silence from Keanu at present, so Callum could only assume Ben was responding. 

“And then you let Callum go?”  
“No…then you give me three hours, & that’s minimum…”  
“And then you start runnin’, yeah? You’ll need to…"  
“Then I text you the address. That’s it Ben: take it or leave it…Are you listenin’…”  
“Yes…” Ben forced out through gritted teeth.

Callum looked back to Keanu at the prolonged silence, relieved when it was actually broken by his captor speaking again. “Call me the minute you do actually have the money; then I’ll tell you what to do next…”

As Keanu ended the call & looked across to Callum, displaying a stance that suggested the man’s fate now lay entirely at the hands of his boyfriend, Callum sat firmly defiant, yet pacifyingly quiet, understanding it was now a waiting game for both of them.


	221. Chapter 221

## Actual scene merging into unseen scene of 14/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

Time could be a peculiar companion: setting a monotonous pace for one man, while a frenetic test for another. So while Callum sat, stock still & increasingly sore, so Ben paced & raged, watching the seconds tick down at an alarming rate.

"Dad, this is the third message that I have left for you..." Ben spoke decisively into his phone, trying to keep his terror at bay. His breathing though became rapidly shallower as the grimness of the situation hit home. "I've got ten minutes. Where is this guy that yer sendin'?"

The what-ifs were prolific, fearsome rolling voices in Ben's head now: what if the money didn't materialise on time; what if Keanu reneged on his word; what if he couldn't get to Callum in time?

What if; what if; what if...

\- - -

Callum regarded Keanu cautiously, sensing him to be akin to a caged tiger on the prowl: pacing back & forth, ready to be provoked or spooked by the slightest of things.

There was an added cruelty to Keanu's constant patrolling for Callum, in the knowledge that he himself couldn't do similar. He longed to stretch out his limbs, bear weight on his feet, shake out the near incessant cramp in his muscles, but he could do none of it in his current predicament.

A pang of selfishness twanged through his body at the thought that if Ben had charted a different course in ordering Keanu's murder, none of this would even be happening now. He scolded himself though instantly for even allowing the thought, knowing that the man before him wasn't deserving of that fate.

Callum was so distracted in his ponderings, that he hadn't noticed Keanu's skittish attention had returned to being directed at him.  
"You know, don't you..." Keanu muttered out gruffly.  
Callum moistened the lower of his lips with his tongue, but said nothing.

"You know that when one o'clock strikes, if that money ain't found its way to me, there's gonna have to be a consequence..." Keanu full-on served notice of intent this time.  
Callum gave one grave nod of his head in confirmation of his understanding.

Keanu glanced to his watch, then back to Callum. He then moved to the box on which Callum's phone still sat, now defunct & out of battery life. "Little use to ya now..." he sniffed, picking up the phone & scuffing his way along to deposit it in Callum's jacket pocket. He then stalked his way back to sit on the box, facing Callum while fiddling about on his own phone. "Ya know, when the time comes & you have to face up to the inevitable disappointment that your boyfriend's failed you..."

Keanu placed his phone on his knee, looking up to see he had his captive's full attention.   
Callum raised an eyebrow in withering response, recognising that another mind game was about to be played.

"When that time comes, I think it's important you understand that this isn't on me, & it isn't on you..." Keanu tapped impatient fingers at the phone screen. "It's on your boyfriend, all of it. He had the chance to stop this, but in the end, he just wasn't man enough..."

Making one last tap at his phone, Keanu began to play a sound file out, the space around them immediately filled by a recording of Ben's voice interspersed with responses from Keanu.

_“If you have done anythin’ else…”   
“It’s down to you what I do…”   
“Then I swear…”   
“What? What will you do? Take me out? The only person in the world who knows exactly where lover boy is right now…”  
“I just…”  
“What?”   
“I just want him home, alright…”   
“Home…”   
“What?”   
“It’s weird, isn’t it? You never think about it, not really…Until you can’t go back there no more & you think about it all the time…Lookin’ at Callum right now, it’s like looking in a mirror…When’s it gonna happen? When am I gonna see all them people who mean the world to me?”  
“I just…”   
“What?”   
“Just…Don’t…Hurt him any more, please…”_

Callum listened intently, trying to ignore the threatening overtones of the exchange, as well as Ben's obvious distress, & instead focus on simply taking strength & reassurance from the voice he'd missed hearing so much.

_“Just…Don’t…Hurt him any more, please…”_

Keanu scrolled back to let Ben's final line play out on repeat several times for effect. Callum increasingly blinking back tears as he heard Ben's struggle again & again.

On the third time of Ben's plea replaying, it was interrupted by the loud, insistent sounding of Keanu's watch alarm. Keanu rose to his feet, as Callum looked him defiantly in the eye. 

"He could of stopped this Callum," Keanu chided out harshly. "Everything that happens now is on him, you remember that..."

Callum shuffled his back tight to the wall, bracing himself for the inevitable. His internal compass reminding him all the while though of who really was accountable for this: one Phil Mitchell.

Not Ben, with his misguided efforts to please his father: not Callum, who was Ben's point of weakness that could be manipulated for another's gain, & not even Keanu, who was about to dish out another physical beating.

Everything that happened now was on Phil Mitchell, & as Keanu's boot connected in the vicinity of Callum's ribcage, there was only one individual that descended even further in the estimations of the bound & stricken man.


	222. Chapter 222

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm intending this to be a weekend of double posting, if I can make it happen - largely dependent at present on if I can get a steer on the chapter that follows the next one or not during the course of today...Somehow, inexplicably this fic is now 6 months behind canon, even though canon has been off screen for the best part of 10 weeks = how has that even happened?
> 
> I need to considerably up my game & get Callum out of that warehouse & back in the arms of Ben - if not considerably beyond that - before canon returns & messes with my head: welcome to Operation Kick On...
> 
> P.S. I know the episode date looks strange in that it's a week on from the last chapter, but remember all episodes in the boat crash week were showing the same day on repeat. It looks & feels weird, but the tally giving the count of days into Callum's kidnap remains the constant...

## Actual scene of 20/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

_Time’s up_

Ben read Keanu’s text through fear-laden eyes, suddenly consumed by the need to be back under cover, & rushing his way back into the Mitchell household, which he had only just stepped foot from moments earlier. He was suddenly confronted by the galling truth: that the man he’d spent years trying to prove himself to had let him down in his greatest hour of need; while the man who most deserved the proof of Ben’s devotion was now in the gravest of danger.

Ben was at a total loss as he collapsed down in a heap, punching at the back of one of the dining chairs in anger & frustration: the now dreaded beep from his phone indicating the arrival of a further message, as his breathing faltered against his exertions. 

Grasping tight to the chair for support, he opened the video message from Keanu, to be met by the sight of a gagged & bound Callum writhing in agony on the floor, at which Keanu loomed menacingly into view. “You’ve got one hour to get me that money, or he’s a dead man…”

Ben’s instincts took an instant grip, as he raged out a scream of helplessness while sending the furniture around him flying in various directions. As the sideboard behind him crashed to the floor with a bang, Ben leaping out of its falling path just in time, plates & decorations descending strewn from its midst, his eyes settled on a shattered photograph of Sharon & Phil.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, he settled on the concept immediately. It was time to take an eye for an eye & turn the tables on Keanu, seeing as Ben could no longer rely on his father for support.


	223. Chapter 223

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Second chapter posted of today - go back one first if it's your first visit today!

## Actual scene of 20/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

Callum lay with his body skewed; head leant heavily against a box as a makeshift pillow: the most recent concession Keanu had granted to him following the latest beating. The exhaustion of his situation, not to mention the increased sensitivity of his ribs, was starting to take a toll now, & all he could do was watch on as Keanu loitered uncertainly around him. 

“Sharon don’t know, does she?” He made his non-judgemental enquiry as he observed Keanu reject yet another incoming call to his phone, guessing the identification of the caller this time. In spite of his physical weakness, Callum knew he couldn’t let this situation perpetuate: he had to keep pushing, keep niggling at the conscience of his captor. 

Using what little strength he had left within to right himself painfully to vertical, he spoke again, the exertion evident in his breathy tone, which hinted at the injuries he’d likely sustained. “Cos if she did, she’d of talked you out of this…”

Keanu couldn’t look him in the eye. “I don’t even know where my little girl Peggy is, Callum…” There was obvious regret in his voice. “I don’t know if I’m ever gonna see her again”.

Callum considered that sentiment, as he took in some much-needed deep breaths: he could relate to it entirely, given there had been moments in recent days that he’d started to inwardly question whether he’d ever see those he loved again. 

“I won’t ever…” Keanu’s voice threatened to waiver. “…See her first steps; hear her first words…I can’t let that happen again. I’m gonna be a dad to one of my kids, & I’ll make sure of it…”

“You need to think about what you’re doin’…” Callum was beginning to sense the only power of persuasion still open to him was that of reasoning. Keanu wasn’t an inherently bad man, he knew that: just somebody driven to desperate means when he had no other options left. The parallels he saw between this man & Ben grew ever more uncanny, the more he thought about it. “Who knows how Louise is gonna feel in a couple of years. And Peggy. She’s got a life time full of firsts, that you could still be a part of, Keanu…”

Callum would never forget the doting affection with which Ben had spoken of his newly-born niece; the pride he’d reported in holding her in his arms for the very first time. There was a tinge of regret for Callum that he would never see that relationship play out now, & no matter what Keanu had inflicted on him, he didn’t want that for Keanu either. “You could get to see that, but not if you carry this on…” he implored, an impassioned sense of spirit suddenly rising again.

Callum watched expectantly as the man before him dropped his head wearily into his hand & scrubbed at his face. There was real emotion there, he could sense it. “You need to think about how much you’ve got to lose…”

The caged animal instantly turned though. “I’m not the bad guy here Callum…” Keanu shouted out with emphasis, as he turned to face his captive.  
Callum simply turned his head in distaste.  
“Now do you really think I wanna do this?” Keanu continued to shout. “I’ve got no choice”.

“Yes you do,” Callum entreated wisely. “Yes you do…This is only gonna make things worse”. He was suddenly adamant in his tone, raising his voice to at least partially match Keanu’s: Adrenaline was numbing the pain now.  
“How could it get any worse?” It was an ironic question really, given that the man supposedly holding all the power was asking it of the man he had bound in chains.

“You’ve still got family on that Square…” Callum was shouting for all his worth now, sensing that it was no or never to get his point across. That notion seemed to stop Keanu’s retreating tracks, as he circled back to look at his hostage once more.

“Phil ain’t gonna stop coming for you…” Callum suggested knowingly: he could see the strain on his captor’s face so pushed on. “And after this, Ben ain’t neither”. 

Keanu tipped his head backwards, as if seeking out divine inspiration.  
Callum retracted his gaze, trying furiously to settle on another point of persuasion. “If they can’t make you pay, they’ll make your family pay instead”. He lifted his gaze to look directly into Keanu’s at the suggestion, sending out the imploring message that there was honesty in his words.  
The two men shared an expression that confirmed they both knew what Callum was saying to be true. 

“You need to stop this,” Callum entreated one last time, feeling the energy beginning to drain from him & further exhausted by the sheer effort his attempts had taken. “Before it’s too late…” Spent from his exertions, his head then dropped into his chest, leaving Keanu to work through his thoughts without further distraction.  



	224. Chapter 224

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Sunday treat of another double posting come up for you, so keep an eye out for the second chapter of the day later. I think these current scenes read best with a bit of momentum...

## Actual scene of 20/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

The shrill ring of Keanu's phone near instantly brought Callum round from his delirium, as he saw Keanu's eyes brighten with a glint of hope as he turned away to answer the call. "Ben, listen..."

Callum dared to dream in that instant, that his captor had seen the light & was ready to strike a different deal: one that would see them all released from their current state of purgatory.

Callum sat quiet, trying to decipher the mood of the conversation, hope rising in his stomach that the next words spoken by Keanu would be conciliatory in nature,; the extension of an olive branch.  
What stuttered from Keanu's lips though wasn't something either he or Callum were expecting. "Sharon?"

Callum's stomach lurched in horror as he observed the man before him become suddenly taut with strain. "Ben, if you..." Keanu began to growl out, then looked anxiously at his phone in the realisation the line was dead.

"What's he done?" Callum questioned carefully, fearful as to what the answer could be, then more forcefully again when no answer was forthcoming. "Keanu, what has he done?"

As Keanu spun fast on his feet & began to flee from the scene, Callum shouted at the top range his parched voice would allow. "What has he done? Don't leave me 'ere..."

Seized by a sense of urgency not to be left behind, Callum tried to turn within the constraints of his chains to call after Keanu in one last attempt. "Don't leave me 'ere..."

In completing that manoeuvre though, all Callum actually achieved was the nudging of the fluorescent tube light to the floor, where it shattered & broke, while the unrelenting force of the chains fired him stomach first into the ground.

With the final slam of a door by Keanu, Callum himself broke into pieces, sobbing into the sleeves of his jacket, & facing the thought that his chance at freedom had gone.


	225. Chapter 225

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Second chapter post of the day - don't be caught out!

## Unseen scene of 20/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

Callum got himself together after a few minutes, knowing there was no point in crying over spilt milk. Or a toppled fluorescent tube light, more specifically in his case.

He winced & let out a long groan as he heaved his leaden body weight back up to somewhere near vertical, the physical exhaustion of that effort then taking him several long minutes to work through.

As he sat in recovery, he looked at the smashed shards of the light, which made him think of two things:

One - he needed to make some progress on escaping his chains before darkness hit, because another night in this position, now with the added jeopardy of no lighting, would be more than he could endure.

Two - at least the possibility of Rainie the treacherous fly returning to annoy him was now at an all-time low, with no artificial light to entice her. Maybe there was a god after all.

Still not yet well enough to make any further moves, Callum cast a glance around, in case Shirley the rodent or any of her crew were in evidence. They'd become an unlikely band of comrades in some ways, but right now she & they were nowhere to be seen.

He still suspected though that Shirley the rodent was somewhere nearby: watching, waiting, knowing a feast would become available to her, one way or another, in the end.

Callum shuddered at the thought, which served as another reminder of why he couldn't spend another night in this godforsaken hole: no light meant no heat source.

The spilt milk analogy crept its way back into Callum's psyche as he laboured his way through some long intakes of breath. He knew why it was there gnawing at his mind, of course - a constant jarring reminder of his inadequacies...

As a young boy, aged probably no more than six, he'd accidentally spilt a bottle of milk in the kitchen one day. This was still just about in the days when milk came delivered in glass bottles, not the plastic planet-destroying cartons of today, so as the bottle had slipped from his grasp, its two-thirds contents had cascaded through the flimsy foil lid in freefall, swiftly followed by the shards of glass shattering everywhere.

To say his Dad hadn't been best pleased was the understatement of the century, & Callum had taken a beating for his troubles. Lay there amongst the spilt milk & glass on the kitchen floor, winded by his father's brutality, he'd had no semblance of fight in him; no capacity to recover the situation himself, so he'd remained there until Stuart came home & fixed things.

Callum was determined though that he wouldn't be that passive victim again. He had a beacon in his heart that was guided by a man ten times finer than his father could ever be.

_”This is the Callum that, if he gets hassled, he stands up, & brushes himself off..."_

As Callum called Ben's now near prophetic words to mind, he took new inspiration from them, deciding once & for all now was the time for action.


	226. Chapter 226

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so as much of this kidnap plot in canon focused on Ben, you may have noticed by now that I'm largely taking on Callum's version of events instead...  
The assumption is therefore made increasingly in coming chapters that readers are up to speed with what was happening in Ben's world during this timeframe, so if you need a little memory jog, it might be worth revisiting the canon episodes of 20th & 21st February...there will be no verbatim recreation of some of Ben's key scenes, because I'm only really in the business of writing canon scenes up if they're key to the narrative, or I can use them to give some insight into a character's frame of mind.  
I think we all know what Ben's state of mind was at this time, so there seems little I can add to his tale; Callum on the other hand...

## Actual scene of 20/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

Callum couldn’t be sure how long he’d been working away at the cuffs on his wrists, scraping & sawing away at them against the sharp edge of a protruding metal joist. The repetition of the movement was agonising, shooting pins & needles through his hands, & occasionally applying further unwanted pressure to sores he was sure were already present. 

The cuffs he’d surmised though were the weakest point of his restraints, so it had to be a case of short-term pain for longer-term gain. He gritted his teeth & worked through the discomfort regardless. 

As the metal finally gave way & the cuffs slipped their grasp of him, he felt the chill of the air penetrate the previously hidden wounds for the first time, taking in a firm breath to manage the surge of stinging pain. He held his wrists outwards & still, giving them a cursory glance but deciding ultimately there was little he could do to soothe them in the immediate. He settled in his mind that the best thing he could do for now was escape his current location then seek medical assistance: provided he was careful not to let any dirt get into them, the chance of secondary infection was low, he reasoned.

He took one last look about his surroundings, relief washing over him that he was free, then began to wander away, a little disoriented & gingerly, as he cradled his injured ribs in support. The fear really struck into him for the first time then, that he had no true idea of where he was or how to find his way back home. His plight was markedly better than it had been just minutes earlier though, he decided, recognising that any progress was better than none.

He began to walk with greater purpose, certain there had to be a means of exit nearby, but found his hopes soon dashed by a metal gate that stood padlocked & firm in his path. He rattled at it anyway, in the hope rather than expectation it might give. Which it didn’t.

Turning back in the direction from which he’d come, he experienced a sudden rush of blood to his head, a salient reminder that he hadn’t been on his feet in forty-eight hours & he perhaps needed to take things a little steadier. Fainting & passing out really wouldn’t be a good option right now, after all.

He heeded the warning & took slower steps, coming to a metal staircase – perhaps the one he’d often heard Keanu using to reach him, but he couldn’t be sure – the feelings of claustrophobia & disorientation threatening to divert him. With a few steadying breaths, he stepped onto the stairs, deciding to traverse them backwards, so he could utilise his arms for maximum purchase against the handrail. His progress was slow, but definite, as he put one foot then the other on each step, one at a time. 

Reaching the foot of the staircase he paused to look back to its top, suddenly realising just how far he’d come, logic telling him that he must be somewhere near ground level now. The burn from his ribs from the exertion was intense, but he could feel himself getting closer to freedom, closer to his goal.

A little unsighted by a beam of light in his path, he took what seemed to be the only option open to him, through a grubby plastic curtain – the type that often guards interior from exterior, he heard his mind say. Pushing his way decisively through the curtain, he took a blind step forward, then found himself falling into a darkened abyss.


	227. Chapter 227

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I unashamedly love this chapter, the seed of which was sewn in my brain & in my narrative a few chapters ago - I think it makes sense, provided you are able to recall the canon scene...I really hope it does anyway 🤞

## Alternative perspective of actual scene of 20/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

The fall itself hadn’t even been likely to kill him, given Callum had landed amongst the relative cushioning of rubbish: the shock of the fall, in combination with his already significant injuries, though, that was a different matter entirely. 

His body had just about had time to brace for the impact, landing harshly on ribs that were already badly bruised at the very least, more likely broken, from the vitriol of Keanu’s boot. Those same ribs now screamed in agony, demanding whatever breaths Callum was managing to take be diverted directly towards numbing their pain. He lay winded & stunned from the impact, drifting vacantly from being semi-conscious to out cold. 

He was ashamed to admit it, but in a moment of total delirium, he’d even thought he’d heard Shirley the rodent talking to him, calling out his name. 

_“Callum?_

_Callum…_

_Halfway?_

_Hafway?”_

In his semi-aware state, he even had cause to think that was peculiar, because he was certain he’d never disclosed his former nickname to his rodent companion. And as Ben had jovially reminded him one day, he wasn’t halfway anything anymore. 

Any notion that he was humiliated by engaging a rodent in conversation was lost at that point though: pride consumed by the need for someone, anyone to help him. “Help me…” he heaved out the words from his broken body, although wasn’t convinced he actually heard them make any sound. “Help. Me…”


	228. Chapter 228

## Unseen perspectives of 21/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

That thing they all say about near-death experiences – that your whole life flashes before your eyes – it isn’t true. He already knew that of course, having been here before. Well, not here exactly, but in another situation where he could feel the life draining from his veins; the breath dying in his lungs. 

The things you did see were sights of the people who were most important to you – family, friends, the love of your life. The people who gave you reason, purpose, during every single day. They all appeared a bright, dazzling lights before his eyes that seemed to shine out in the darkness all around him. 

Brighter than all of them combined, a vivid beacon of brilliant blue: an ocean of calm in a world of turbulence. It settled him a little, to think of those eyes that had shown him such compassion & belief in recent months. He reached a hand out towards that ever-enticing blue, then felt what little breath he had left catch in his throat, as he felt a hand reach out for his: tearing him away from the darkness of impending death & into the arms of safety. 

After minutes of an agonising struggle to stay alive in the frozen water of the Thames, Ben was saved, even if he felt anything but.  
_ _ _

The hallucination of hearing a rodent calling out his name on repeat had faded for Callum eventually, replaced by a dream so vivid it could almost have been real. Ben was prominent in it, as always, & the scene playing out had returned him to the shooting on the fateful day of what should have been his own wedding. 

Ben lay fading in his arms, gasping for any air he could admit to his body; Callum clutching tight at the wound that seeped blood from it, while his other hand continually stroked its way over Ben’s forehead & sweat-drenched hair. 

It had been the most dire of situations, but Callum found comfort in it now somehow; a reminder that in even the most desperate of circumstances, hope always existed: you just had to find it. 

He let a vision of Ben’s rich glowing eyes wash around his brain: a never-ending sea that Callum found himself endlessly lost within. In that marine of ice-blue calm, he found himself begin to slip under, rolling over on to his back just before he submerged. He couldn’t have possibly known at the time, but it was the first of two manoeuvres that would ultimately save his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, I've done a little time skip here: much as I adore that scene of Ben on the boat pulling a gun on Phil - "For Callum, I would..." - I just can't see a way into writing it that would add anything. So I thought I'd have a little play with the imagery of the boat crash scenes - that's what this chapter's all about gang: imagery, & perhaps a bit of that magical soulmates vibe?


	229. Chapter 229

## Unseen scene of 21/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse – Day 3)

Ben closed his eyes to the ineffectual paramedic in front of him, tired of her attempts at assessing him. He was alive after all, what else did she need to check? She’d already insisted in wrapping him in some sort of foil jacket that made him akin to a turkey in the oven at Christmas, what more could the woman want from him: a lock of his hair; inside leg measurement; sperm sample?

He tipped his head gingerly from one side to the other, trying to dislodge some of the water that had clearly built up between his ears & was affecting his ability to hear even more than usual. His hearing aid had unsurprisingly malfunctioned after its impromptu dunk in the Thames, so was already in the bin: Ben just needed to get home, get another aid in his ear, get back to his search for Callum: in short, not sit in the back of an ambulance with this wet weekend of a paramedic.

Set on that course of action, he opened his eyes, about to make an abrupt rush for the exit, but he found the woman in front of him, waving several fingers in the air & clearly awaiting some sort of response from him. Ben sighed, gave a cough that gave him opportunity for thinking time, then gave the answer he presumed she wanted to hear. “Two…” he grunted out indignantly, quelling the urge to raise a single digit of his own & return the question he assumed she’d just asked: _How many fingers am I holdin’ up love?_ Somewhere among the ringing in his ears, he could hear Callum’s disapproval at any such gesture, see the shake of his head in discouragement, so Ben bit down his tongue for once in his life.

“Right well, thanks for the fashion accessory…” Ben moved to stand, indicating the insulating silver jacket wrapped around him. “But if that’s everythin’ I’ll be makin’ a move…” The kind of move he actually made though not exactly what he’d planned, as he stumbled off balance & almost fell to the floor, catching himself just in time.

“Sir, I think we need to…” The paramedic attempted to intervene with her suggestion that a trip to hospital might be in order, but Ben couldn’t hear, & most likely would have ignored the suggestion anyway if he had heard it. He waved a hand in dismissal, then staggered towards the rear doors of the ambulance to make his ungainly retreat. 

The paramedic bustled after him, making mentions of _against medical advice_ & _discharge disclaimer_ but it was all lost on Ben, who continued to lurch his way from the ambulance. In one final attempt to get his attention, she snatched up a leaflet from the side, ran after him, then thrust the piece of paper into his hands, speaking at him all the while. 

Ben made a slight attempt at latching onto her words this time, sensing an agitation in her features, but now in the hubbub of the accident’s aftermath, with people all around, lights glaring & shouts filling the air, all semblance of her meaning was lost. Ben’s facial expression contorted in confusion as he failed to understand a word; the paramedic eventually conceding, simply tapping the sheet of paper she’d given him, before moving away, defeated.

Ben glanced at the leaflet in hand - _Head injuries in adults: know the warning signs_ \- huffing out his disdain as he swiftly crumpled it away into his soaked-through coat pocket, although not before the first line had part inveigled its way into his psyche. _As a patient with a potential head injury, you will have been discharged into the care of your next of kin to ensure your continuing wellbeing…_

The irony wasn’t lost on Ben, that having recently pulled a gun on his own father, & with his boyfriend in peril who knew where, there’d likely never been a time that so few people had a concern for his wellbeing. Least of all him.


	230. Chapter 230

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it's a Bank Holiday weekend - for parts of the UK at any rate, apologies Scottish readers - so this is the start of a bonanza posting weekend for _UnScene_...
> 
> There will be - at least - 2 chapters posted each day from now up to & including Monday, because we are finally doing this gang - we are busting Callum out of that godforsaken warehouse...
> 
> I for one can't wait to get him back with Ben, where he belongs...just got to work our way through the turmoil...

##  Actual scene of 21/02/20 merging into scene of 24/02/20

(Kidnap Day 3 merging into Kidnap Day 4)

Stunned, dazed & alone, Ben had somehow made it back to the Square, even if he had no clue of how. He had partial recollections of scenes that had played out before his blurry eyes, his contact lenses having malfunctioned in a similar manner to his hearing aid. He’d left them in regardless, though, understanding that the combination of impaired hearing & vision was enough of a handicap already, without making it even worse.

The ringing in his ears was a constant, persistent chime, as if his eardrums were bouncing off the walls of his head. He should go home, change his waterlogged lenses for a fresh set, & locate his spare hearing aid, but in truth he didn’t want his sight & hearing cluttered by anything peripheral right now. All he wanted was Callum: the name playing on repeat through the fog of his mind.

“CALLUM…” Turning a slow circle of his surroundings, Ben screamed out his boyfriend’s name in the vain hope it might somehow divine him from the ether; bring him back home. He was so utterly lost without him, not knowing which direction to go, where to head first. He had to try though, so he wandered away into the darkness to search through everywhere he could think to look for Callum one more time.  
_ _ _  


It was hours later that Ben truly came back to himself, having scoured Walford & its closest surrounding districts until well into the following morning in some sort of stupor. He’d finally landed in the park on a bench – their park bench - & had been brought to by the visible shivering of his bones. 

The coat he was wearing was still sodden through with water from the Thames; his trousers similarly damp still, & discoloured by the grimy residue of the river. For a fleeting moment, how he wished he had the foil surround the paramedic had furnished him with now; but chastised himself for the notion, knowing that Callum wouldn’t have any such luxury. 

He would do the bare minimum to get himself by until his man was back safe. With a heavy heart & laden bones, he trudged his way home, only to be met by a concerned-looking Jay as he walked through the front door.  
“Where’ve you been? Are you alright?”

Ben couldn’t decipher a word through his still ringing ears, so gave his brother a withering look that suggested now wasn’t the time & continued to walk on past: with fresh contact lenses & a spare hearing aid he’d be able to face the world again, he was sure.


	231. Chapter 231

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. - Second chapter posting of the day - go back one if first visit!

##  Unseen scene of 24/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse - Day 4)

Ben stepped from the shower he'd forced himself to take: not for reasons of self-care or hygiene, but just as another means of escape from the questioning eyes of Jay & Lola, who'd been all over him in the instant he'd walked in the house.

He'd run the shower at the hottest temperature his body could stand, then increased the heat by one more notch, not deserving to exist in the realms of comfort while Callum was still missing.

Securing a towel around his midriff, he wiped away the condensation from the mirror with the back of his hand, inserted new contact lenses, then stared his reflection firmly in the eyes.

Bloodshot red eyes looked back at him, scarred by dark, drawn shadows lurking beneath them. 

The scar from the bullet he'd taken to the chest last summer sparked his attention, as he recalled how close he'd come to inflicting similar damage to his own father. _For Callum, I would..._ he'd told him at the time, & for Callum he would still do the same, & more, now given another chance.

Trudging his way across the landing & into his room he felt a sensation like seasickness, feeling unsteady on his feet, & nauseous with it. His inner equilibrium still taking time to restore itself after his brush with drowning.

The residue of water on his ears was starting to become an annoyance, so he hurried through drying & dressing himself, in the certainty that the use of his spare hearing aid would improve matters.

Once he found it, that was. He ransacked his way through various dresser drawers, until he eventually came across what he was searching in his bedside cabinet. 

His hearing aid mark two wasn't as discreet or user-friendly as that so recently deceased in the Thames, but it did its job, without the cumbersome clumsiness of aids he used to wear as a child.

Ben carefully positioned the aid behind his ear, preparing for the glorious sensation of the peculiar soundtrack he'd been subjected to all night being replaced by something less intrusive.

That wasn't what he got though: far from it indeed. Instead, he heard a high-pitched cacophony in his ear, at the kind of level normally only dogs would hear, followed by a fuzzing rush.

Where Ben had heard ringing before, it was now amplified within, putting instant tortuous pressure on his head & mind. What he had thought to be white noise before was nothing in comparison to this. He wouldn't allow himself to dwell on that thought though - Callum came first in everything now. 

With heavy, clattering footsteps, Ben stampeded his way down the stairs, trying to ignore the unbearable version of that progress being played through his ears. He didn't need this kind of interference, he resolved on impulse, removing the hearing aid & discarding it on the kitchen side. Today he needed clarity & headspace, so would do without the one constant that had been ever-present at his side since childhood, & go it alone.


	232. Chapter 232

##  Unseen perspectives of scenes of 24/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse - Day 4)

It had been Jay who had spotted the discarded hearing aid, & put two & two together, of course. If there was one person other than Callum who was capable of seeing right through Ben, then it was Jay. A man who was always momentarily surprised when a turn of events was disclosed to him, yet never entirely shocked when it came to Mitchell family matters.

And so it was in that spirit Jay had accepted all of Ben’s explanations when it came to revelations of Callum’s kidnapping, the Christmas-time honour hit that had been ordered on Keanu, & Ben’s current situation of hearing loss. 

Jay was the reasoned processing to Ben’s chaotic fumbling, so within a matter of minutes, the police had been called & a steaming hot mug of coffee placed down in front of Ben, who’d let himself fall open then for precious moments, outlining the extent of his hearing troubles, & giving background as to why he was already so proficient in the art of lip reading, provided people looked him full in the face & spoke with clarity. 

Ben, whether deluded or eternally optimistic, had remained adamant his hearing wasn’t lost, just temporarily mislaid – just as the same hope his heart still harboured for Callum. Jay though, wasn’t quite so sure, as the doorbell rang & he realised his brother hadn’t even noticed. He clutched a hand of guidance to Ben’s shoulder & pointed in the direction of the front door. “I think the police are ‘ere…”

_ _ _

Ben shuffled his weight about nervously as he waited for Jay to return, tapping an agitated finger at his now empty coffee mug. “D’ya think they bought it?” He questioned in the instant Jay emerged from the hallway, having shown the police officers out.

Jay sighed & plonked himself down in the chair opposite, leaning forward to give his response. “What that some chancer’s taken Callum because they know there’s money to be had from ya?” He pursed his lips together in thought. “Yeah, yeah I do…”

Brothers being brothers of course, they hadn’t solely spent the time waiting for the police to arrive mulling over the state of Ben’s hearing; they’d also taken the time to craft a viable story for why Callum had been taken, all the while not incriminating either Ben or Phil. Or Keanu for that matter, but Jay had saliently reminded Ben that was probably for the best in the circumstances.

“So what d’we do now?” Ben picked at the nail of his thumb, then began to gnaw down on it.  
“Now,” Jay sniffed. “We wait…”  
Ben looked unconvinced, & likely to bolt at any minute.  
“We wait…” Jay reiterated firmly. “And most important of all, we don’t do anythin’ else stupid…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next instalment to follow later today...


	233. Chapter 233

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. Second chapter posting of the day, as promised...

##  Actual scene of 24/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse - Day 4)

Ben’s agitation had been steadily on the rise throughout the morning, not aided either by the never-ending buzzing in his ears since he’d put his hearing aid back in at Jay’s insistence, or by his brother keeping a watching guard over him, refusing to let him out of his sight. 

All Ben wanted to do was get back out there to continue his search for any trace of Callum, but Jay was adamant that task now be left in the hands of the police. Ben was markedly less convinced, particularly as said police officers had just returned to his front door, asking for details of where Callum lived & worked: their ineptitude showing new depths as he despaired over why such questions hadn’t been asked first time around.

Jay, ever grounded though, had kept his cool, given the officers the information they requested, & apologised for his brother’s demeanour in what was clearly a time of significant stress. “Look…” Jay returned to address Ben, having shown the officers out for a second time. “The most important thing is finding Callum; we have to leave it to the police…”

Ben, who had been fiddling with his hearing aid, making any desperate attempt he could to alter its pitch, concentrated hard on following his brother’s words, if not quite accepting them. With no capacity for hearing what was happening around him, & his back turned, he had no prior warning that Stuart had made a charged entrance through the kitchen door, until the irate man’s hands made a grab for him & spun him forcibly round. 

Jay made an instant move to both protect his clearly vulnerable brother, & placate what was a visibly angry Stuart. As Ben hastily recoiled from the elder Highway, struggling with unwanted feedback through his hearing aid caused by the man’s shouts, Jay calmly tried to maintain a distance between the two feuding men.

Or at least, what he presumed to be the two feuding men, because as Jay took the brunt of Stuart’s tumultuous outburst, Ben stood out his view, smacking furiously at the side of his own head, trying to urge his ears back towards functioning, before doubling over in agony at the piercing crescendo of noise the raised voices were causing in his ears.

“Listen to me…” Jay tried for the umpteenth time to get Stuart’s attention. “Right Keanu is not the type of person to hurt anyone…”  
“Well where is he then?” Stuart, still frantic, was erratically shifting weight from foot to foot in a bid to contain some of his nervous energy, but failing miserably as he began to rant again. 

“The police are lookin’… for him…” Jay tried to intervene with some reason, but found himself instantly cut off by an increasingly angry Stuart shouting right into his face.  
Behind them, Ben braced further against the shrill cacophony in his ears, unable to understand a word of what was being said.

“You’re supposed to be his friend…” Stuart accused through gritted teeth.  
Jay stood quiet & took that one, albeit with a disbelieving glare: from what he knew of the Highways’ history, Stuart couldn’t exactly stand as the parable of a model brother, either. “We will find him, alright…” Jay eventually reiterated evenly, seizing back control.

Stuart was wrong footed by the show of quiet but firm resilience, perhaps a little reminded of his brother within it. With a sniff against his hand to compose himself & a fervent nod of the head, he gave his acceptance of the assertion, then moved as if wanting to speak with Ben.

“Ok?” Jay checked one last time, stopping the other man in his tracks with a stalling hand to his stomach while he insisted they make eye contact between them so he could check the rage had subsided.  
Stuart again nodded his head, using his hands to brace against Jay’s shoulders, in a suggestion of solidarity, until Jay was appeased enough by the apparent climb down to let him pass.

Walking with purpose towards Ben, with no apparent concern that the man was slumped over the table & oblivious to his approach, Stuart seized him firmly, & again forced Ben to turn & face him. 

Ben cowering in fright, could just make out the racing of his own heartbeat as Stuart looked him menacingly in the eye & began to speak with what he could only assume was similar venom, as Ben struggled to understand a word that was said. It was only the final intimidation that he managed to lip read clearly:  
“I will kill you…” 

The difference in Ben’s demeanour from the previous time he’d taken a threat from the elder Highway was palpable, to himself at least if not to Stuart, who was too absorbed in his own turmoil to notice. Where the proud, defiant man had stood on the evening of Pride the previous year, standing tall against the bullying tactics, Ben now shrunk away in terror, a small, frightened boy left in Stuart’s wake. 


	234. Chapter 234

##  Actual scene of 27/02/20

(Kidnap time lapse - Day 5 – Maybe, possibly, probably, I don’t know; I’ve gone past trying to keep track…)

Ben strode in a daze, shrieking out Callum’s name, not even certain of how he’d come to be in this place. If he was in the middle of some kind of nightmare, he would wake in a minute, in a cold sweat & with a heartbeat that was pacing,: but the all-enveloping silence reminded him this wasn’t a bad dream, but actual real life. 

The previous twenty-four hours had lapsed in some sort of blur, with Ben yanked from pillar to post, all the while trying to maintain sight of his only goal: to find Callum, make him safe. There’d been interference along the way: a doctor with the interpersonal skills of a gnat; Lola’s frequent assertions that Ben needed to look after himself for the sake of their daughter; Stuart’s bizarre attempt at charades as a reasonable means of communication.

None of it had meant a thing to Ben though: unwilling & unable to think of anything else until he knew Callum was safe. He couldn’t & wouldn’t put anything before that cause alone, & so, when Stuart had raced from the Mitchell household as if a lightbulb Eureka moment had gone off, Ben had rushed after him, with Jay similarly in tow, in case there was the smallest chance they might find Callum.

Now here, in a dimly-lit warehouse, Ben had his first sense of being in close proximity to Callum for days. He was disapproving & disbelieving of any soulmates concept, but there was a kind of static electricity that transferred between them whenever they were near: a spark that both terrified & captivated Ben all at once. It wasn’t something he knew how to give any label or name to: it was simply Callum & what he did to him.

Jay pressed a stalling hand to his brother’s arm.  
“Can you ‘ear him?” The hope in Ben’s question was tangible.  
“No…” Jay returned forcefully, with a tone of impatience that suggested there was an aftermath to that response that went unsaid. _And I’m not likely to hear him with you pair shrieking his name every two seconds…_

“He’s here…” Ben looked about in certainty. “I, I know he’s here…”  
“Stuart has already looked here…” Jay tried to lower his brother’s expectations.  
“Well look again…” Ben shouted back in desperation. “Split up…”

“We’re not splittin’ up; we’re stayin’ together…” Jay tried to assert, only to be instantly dismissed.  
“I don’t need your help, Jay…” Ben angrily walked away, stopped ultimately in his tracks by Stuart, who had quietly observed the entirety of the brothers’ disagreement. 

“Oi, oi, oi…” Stuart made a grab for Ben’s arm to attract his attention, then shouted out his own intent. “I’m gonna go & check the other side…”  
For perhaps the first time in their lives, Ben & Stuart were on the same page: the irony not lost on the former as he glared furiously back to his brother. “Go…have a walk round Jay…”

Ben didn’t wait for any response, disappearing off in another direction of his own, calling out his boyfriend’s name again & again: just because he himself could hear the cries, the hope lived eternal in his heart that Callum just might.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More later today...


	235. Chapter 235

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter posting of today, so don't be caught out.
> 
> Maybe, maybe, a third chapter will appear before the day is through...

##  Actual scenes merging in unseen scenes of 27/02/20

Ben continued to scout around the warehouse frenetically, certain that Callum must be there somewhere, & determined not even to entertain the notion that he wasn’t. The search so far had proven fruitless though, so Ben took a moment to lean down, with his hands braced to the rails of a staircase, & consider the frightful notion that for all he knew, Callum might be answering every one of his desperate calls, but that he just wouldn’t hear him.

Maybe Jay had been right after all: to search together as one would have been the better option. 

_ _ _

Callum, at his weakened ebb after several days without food or hydration, had heard Ben’s shouts of his name, & decided against dismissing them as fits of hopeful delirium this time. What other choice did he have, after all? His strength was wilting & he’d barely now been able to move since taking his fateful decision to wrap himself beneath some plastic sheeting two days earlier, drifting in & out of consciousness ever since. 

“Ben…” A shout he’d hope would be at the top of his voice came out as barely more than a whisper, & Callum knew he would have to try harder. “I’m ‘ere…” he croaked out, breathing heavily against the strain of even trying to speak. “Ben…” he heaved out again, sweat beginning to pool against his brow from both the exertion & a building fever.

With one last deep gulp of air, Callum gave another shout his all, “BEN…” then slipped away from wakefulness once more.

_ _ _

Ben urged himself back into resuming his search, mindful that wallowing in regret would do nothing: he’d pushed Jay away & would have to continue the hunt on his own, impaired or otherwise. 

Breathing heavily through the aching sense of turmoil that was making his limbs feel heavy, & every step like wading through treacle, he pushed himself up back to vertical, something catching the corner of his eye as he moved. He rushed over in the near disbelief that he had indeed found a trace of his boyfriend – Callum’s grandfather’s medal, which his man had intended to carry as a good luck charm on the day of his police assessment. 

Ben fumbled the medal up into his hands, feeling the instant jolt of adrenaline that Callum must be close by, then little knowing in his rush to find him that he nearly made the same grave error as Callum, by pushing through the nearby plastic strip curtains concealing the ledge from which his man had fallen.

Stalling his momentum just in time, Ben peered down & there, in the darkened pit below, barely visible to the naked eye, he found Callum shrouded amongst discarded plastic & sheeting. “Callum…” he let out a pained cry at the sight of his boyfriend, unresponsive & unmoving, then wasted no further time, sprinting his way towards him, via a circuitous route, shouting his name to try & rouse him as he ran. He remembered to call out for the attention of Jay & Stuart just as he reached his stricken boyfriend.

Ben sank to his knees beside Callum, shocked to the core at how weak & small the giant of a man he knew now looked. He lay quivering hands to his face – one at the crown of his head, the other at his chin – fearful as to what he was midway through discovering, then withdrawing in shock at the ice-cold chill he felt. 

It was simply white noise to Ben, as first Stuart, swiftly followed by Jay, lunged in to join him, Stuart crowding down over Callum, & voicing words, maybe even instructions, that Ben just couldn’t decipher. All he could see was Callum lay motionless before him, & Ben started to retreat, in distraught panic that they might be too late.

Stuart suddenly leapt into animation in front of him, shouting something out that Ben couldn’t understand: it finally becoming apparent that he was asking for Ben’s coat to keep Callum warm. As Ben unbuttoned his coat & laid it carefully across his boyfriend, Stuart mirroring the action with his own, a flicker of hope burned in Ben’s soul that all was not lost, but it swiftly diminished as a fearful realisation hit home.

“Why’s he not movin’?” Ben questioned apprehensively, then again with shouted ferocity this time. “Why’s he not movin’?” He’d been faced with this scene before: of the man he loved lying beaten & broken, & it seemed likely now that history was repeating itself in the cruellest of ways.

Ben stumbled backwards in blind panic, distraught at the thought that his actions years before had cost Paul his life, & it was the same for Callum now. He felt himself starting to take sharp, erratic breaths, could feel the whites of his eyes near bursting with alarm. He needed to get out of there; he needed to escape, before he choked on the fumes of his guilt.

From nowhere though he felt the sudden grounding presence of a firm hand on his arm, glancing over to see that Jay had recognised him to be spiralling & was offering a means of respite, even if he couldn’t understand what he was saying.

“You keep Callum warm & comfortable, yeah…” Jay advised Stuart, while gently guiding his brother away. “We’ll make sure the ambulance knows where to come…”  
Ben simply allowed himself to be led, relieved to have been given an out.  
“Just breathe for me bruv, yeah…” Jay immediately turned to look Ben firm in the eye once they were out of Stuart’s sight. “Just breathe…”  



	236. Chapter 236

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter posted in the space of one day - goal achieved, in more ways than one. Thank you, & good night...

##  Merging seen & unseen scenes of 27/02/20

Jay had somehow talked Ben down in the interim it took for the ambulance to arrive, although neither man was exactly sure how, given Ben could barely hear. They’d managed to usher the ambulance in through a loading bay door that fortuitously led directly to Callum’s position. 

As the paramedics began their assessment of the injured man before them, having first swaddled him in heat-preserving blankets, Jay retrieved Ben’s now discarded coat & passed it across to his brother. “’ere, put this on: don’t need two of ya with hyperthermia…”

Ben’s brow furrowed into a concentrated stare as he lip read & absorbed Jay’s words. “Is that what they’re sayin’ he’s got?” Panic rising in his voice again.  
“No-one’s said anythin’ yet…” Jay swiftly assured. “Just let ‘em do their work, yeah?”

Ben gave a faint nod of his head, barely able to tear his eyes away from Callum’s still motionless body, albeit now partially obscured by the paramedics around him. The two men in high-visibility jackets worked slowly & methodically, with seemingly little rush: Ben couldn’t decide whether that in itself was cause for alarm or reassurance. 

Jay dealt his brother an affirming pat on the back, then moved back in the direction of Callum so he could take in anything the paramedics said, understanding already he would need to fulfil the role of translator for his brother in this instance.

Ben meanwhile stashed his hands away into the deep pockets of his coat, needing to stow them away somewhere so that he didn’t start gnawing his fingers down to the bone. Within the pocket, his left hand settled on the medal of Callum’s grandfather, & Ben let his fingers intertwine around it for comfort. If ever there was a time for a good luck charm, it was now, after all. 

Indeterminable time passed, as Ben looked on with sorrowful eyes: fingers clutching tight to the medal in his grasp, breaths escaping him in shuddering gasps. 

With Callum eventually secured to a stretcher, Jay made his return to his brother, gripping a hand to his arm. “He’s gonna be ok…”  
Ben seemed entirely unresponsive.  
“Did you hear me,” Jay tried again, giving a light shake to his brother’s arm. “I said he’s gonna be ok…”

“Ok?” Ben repeated warily, looking for all the world like a man in the process of beating himself up.  
“Yes,” Jay confirmed decisively. “Ben, you saved him…”  
“Wh…” The question died on Ben’s lips as he struggled to take anything in.  
“You saved him…” Jay reiterated again.  
“Nah, no…” Ben shrugged himself free from his brother’s hold. “I did this to him…” Unable to face the visual magnitude of that thought any longer, he turned his back on Callum.

Jay exchanged a look of concern with Stuart, who had been quietly observing the scene. “What, so he thinks he gets to walk away from the mess he’s left my brother in now?” Stuart started to rebuke scornfully, taking a stride as if to make a grab for Ben just as he had in the Mitchell household days before.

“No, wait…” Jay intervened, holding a hand out to stop Stuart in his tracks. “Just give him the space to breathe for a minute…”  
Stuart looked unconvinced, but did as was asked, returning his attention to Callum, who the paramedics were preparing to transfer into the ambulance. 

Jay stayed passive, keeping a watching brief on his brother’s back, silently willing Ben to banish the demons he knew him to be fighting. 

As the stretcher carrying Callum was first raised, then slowly wheeled in the direction of the ambulance, one of the paramedics addressed the two most cognisant members of the group. “Will any of you be accompanying Callum to the hospital?”

Jay looked away from Ben to query the suggestion with Stuart. “You’re Callum’s brother,” he gestured compassionately. “So I guess it would make most sense that you go…”  
Stuart gave a nod of understated appreciation.  
“If I could ask you to take a seat in the ambulance first then, Sir…” The paramedic directed Stuart towards one of the seats. “No need to be alarmed by all the tubes & monitors, all just standard procedure…”

Stuart looked about himself cagily as he clambered into the ambulance, pausing midway to fish a set of keys from his pocket. “Guess you’ll be needin’ these to get that one home safely…” He tossed the car keys in Jay’s direction, while giving a nod of genuine concern in the direction of Ben, who still had his back turned to them, plainly still distraught.

“Appreciate that,” Jay accepted the offer gratefully, having given limited thought to the fact they’d journeyed to the warehouse in one car. “Call me when yer done at the hospital, & I’ll come pick ya up…”  
“Will do, cheers…” Stuart returned, & it appeared the previous storm of aggression had passed as fears over Callum’s wellbeing started to subside.

As Jay took a sideways step to allow the paramedics to manoeuvre the stretcher into the ambulance, a shout from Ben suddenly rang out behind him.  
“Wait…stop, wait…” Ben suddenly bustled into view, emerging at Callum’s side, where the paramedics had paused in their loading of him into the ambulance at the sound of Ben’s cry.

Settling beside Callum’s head, Ben ran a hand gently through his boyfriend’s hair. “I…” A notion of words he didn’t know how to form was swirling at pace through his mind. “I…” He tried again, but ultimately felt too inadequate to speak them.

“I’m sorry…” he simply settled on in hushed tones; an apology for so many things: that he had put Callum in danger; that he’d come up short in rescuing him; that he couldn’t vocalise what he was feeling. “This belongs with you, certainly not with me…” Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved the medal & tucked it securely in the inner lining of Callum’s suit jacket. 

He then let his hand wisp its way up the man’s chest, until it brushed tenderly at the days’ old stubble sitting harsh at his chin, dipping his head down to Callum’s forehead brushing the lightest of kisses against it. “Courageous…” he just about managed to whisper out before his emotions threatened to derail him. 

As the paramedics finished their loading of Callum into the ambulance, Ben took a faltering step backwards, not even certain he’d be capable of standing upright for much longer, & as the ambulance doors were pushed shut, he collapsed into Jay’s ever-reliable, awaiting hold.


	237. Chapter 237

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Callum's eyes flickered as they adjusted to the bright lighting of his hospital room. A glance around confirmed everything was as it had been the time he'd previously come to, & the time before that.

The drip connected to his hand was still administering much-needed fluids; his upper body was still in a partially upright position, propped up by pillows; the chair to the side of his bed was still empty.

On his first awakening, a kindly nurse had advised that he'd been brought to hospital by ambulance, accompanied by Stuart. She'd explained his brother had stayed put for several hours, but had been persuaded to head home with the knowledge Callum was stable & simply in need of rest.

Callum had croaked out an enquiry then as to whether anyone else had been in to see him, to which the nurse had responded in the negative. Callum thought that odd, because his head was full of a vivid memory of being in the warehouse, & Ben being nearby just before consciousness had slipped from his grasp once & for all.

The next time Callum had woken in the hospital, a little more with it this time, a police officer had been ushered to his bedside by the same kindly nurse, while given a warning that they could only have five minutes of Callum's time because he was still weak & needed rest.

"You were reported missing by a Ben Mitchell..." the police officer had read from his notebook. "Who is your boyfriend?"  
"Yeah..." Callum had coughed to clear his throat, then reaffirmed the point. "Yes, he's my boyfriend".

"And it was your boyfriend's belief that you were being held against your will, by an individual intent on extracting a ransom..." The police officer had continued to voice, with nose still buried in his notepad.

Callum had needed a moment to get his head together over this: was Ben's intention really that the entire sorry saga involving him & Keanu should play out in front of the police?

The officer's brow furrowed as he peered across the top of the notepad to observe Callum. "Mr Mitchell says he knows of no individual that would want to cause you harm, or seek revenge on a car salesman such as him..."

Callum gave a nod: now he understood. "They were after Ben's money: I was just the collateral I guess..."  
"They?" The officer looked on pointedly.  
"Two of 'em I think..." Callum coughed again, more for effect than anything, causing the nurse to appear back in the doorway to check on her charge.

"Might've been three..." Callum shook his head forlornly. "They was all wearin' masks & came & went all the time. It was impossible to tell, really..."  
The officer had tried to ask another question at that point, but the nurse had intervened & asked him to leave. 

Callum glanced again at the empty chair beside him, a wry thought crossing his mind from seemingly nowhere: _Look how deep I am into your world nowadays Ben..._, before something altogether sadder then crept through his being. _Where are you now though that you should be in mine?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter later...


	238. Chapter 238

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter posting of today, as has been the case throughout this bonanza _UnScene_; posting weekend. I hope all have managed to keep up, & have enjoyed the opportunity to inject a bit of much-needed momentum into ending the kidnapping saga.
> 
> Nearly there...

## Actual scene of 28/02/20

The next time Callum opened his eyes, Stuart was making his way through the door, holdall in one hand, rustling brown paper bag in the other.

"Always said you was a drip..." the elder Highway attempted humour as he dropped the bag to the floor & gestured to the introavenus device still attached to his brother

"Funny..." Callum greeted the suggestion in the manner it was intended, face flushed from a night spent in a hospital bed that was markedly warmer than the place he'd spent his most recent nights.

Stuart gave an awkward laugh, as if not entirely sure where to start. "I brought ya some grapes..."

Callum gave a nod of acknowledgement as he watched the bag of fruit drop into his lap, in a clumsy manner that suggested offputting bruising would likely have occurred.  
"How ya feelin'?" Stuart then continued.

"Alive," Callum's response was slightly choked, either by emotion or physical exhaustion, neither man entirely sure. "Better than I've felt the past couple of days..."

A silence drifted between the two brothers then, words unspoken from either side, before Callum first relented. "Thanks for not givin' up on me Bruv..."

Stuart was suddenly genuinely emotional, surging forward to deliver a bear hug. "Oh come 'ere..."  
Callum gratefully accepted the embrace, but had to do so with caution. "Careful..." he groaned out in obvious pain.

Stuart backed away in immediate regret of his actions, instantly seeking to make amends. "How long you gotta be attached to this thing?" He drew their combined attention back to the drip.

"Done with it now..." Callum smiled, the residual pain from their hug having subsided. "I feel good; really good..." Well as good as he could for a man who'd been battered to the point of partially fractured ribs. "I'm just glad it's all over".

Stuart looked uneasy. "Well if that Keanu shows his face, he ain't gonna be no pretty boy no more..."

Callum momentarily closed his eyes to the undertone of threatened violence, determined he'd seen quite enough of that of late. He needed to do something to alter the tone. "Yeah well, he never really was my type..."

Stuart, in spite of his acceptance of his brother's sexuality, still found jokes about it hard to take, so shuffled his weight about nervously.

"How's Ben?" Callum interjected to dislodge the unease, asking the one question that was a constant in his mind.

Stuart gave a shake of his head, scratching anxiously at the corner of his eye: that was one bit of news he truly didn't know how to break.

"Thought he would at least of come & seen me..." A sudden bitterness entered Callum's tone as he looked away in despair.

Stuart then got a hold of himself, knowing whatever his own feelings towards Ben, he couldn't allow his brother's to be clouded by misinformation: he had a right to at least be informed of his boyfriend's truth. "Yeah, well I blamed him for all this..."

Callum intervened before the full explanation could be given. "That really matter now?" He was sick & tired of game play of revenge & retribution.

"I could 'ear him callin' me when I was...when I was layin' there..." Callum continued sadly. "Thought I was dreamin', or dead...I shouted for him..."

"Yeah well he wouldn't of 'eard ya..." Stuart saw the instant opportunity to steer his brother back on course. "He bashed his head: done somethin' to his 'earing. He's completely mutton..."

"What?" Callum was utterly bemused.  
"Yeah," his brother continued to elaborate, perhaps a little more abruptly than he might have planned. "Boat crash...a long story, but...it's a miracle he found ya..."

Callum stared, bewildered, at his brother, & began to wonder again, not for the first time, if he'd tripped back into his world of delusions once more.


	239. Chapter 239

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Callum sat reeling from every word he was hearing, eyes ever widening in visible shock, as Stuart calmly explained everything that had taken place in his absence. 

Five days held captive suddenly seemed more likely to have spanned five years as Callum heard word of Whitney's arrest, a boat crash & the death of Dennis. Somewhere amongst all of that, the revelation of Ben's hearing loss was still trying to sink in.

Callum lay his head back against the pillows, switching off from his brother's minute-by-minute account of a boat submerging into the Thames, as he tried to take in Ben's place amongst it all. "Stop, just slow down for a second..." he entreated his brother. "Why was Ben even on that boat? Did you see him on it?"

"Nah bruv," Stuart shook his head. "First I even knew he'd been on that boat was after the event, when Jack told me 'im & Max had pulled Ben from the water..."

"Jack..." Callum repeated disbelievingly, but knowing there was an uncomfortable backlog of history between that particular Branning brother & Ben that he just couldn't disclose. Maybe there was an irony there though, that Jack had saved Ben, just as Ben maintained he saved Jack back in very different circumstances in December.

"Turns out..." Stuart interrupted Callum's thoughts with the continuation of his narrative. "Keanu was on that boat too, so Ben had boarded it lookin' for him..."

That at least made some sense to Callum: the thought that Ben would have been on Keanu's tail wherever he went. “So Keanu was on the boat, Ben was on the boat, & you was on the boat?” he sought to clarify, mind suddenly spinning with the seemingly endless of facts.

“I was yeah,” Stuart confirmed, but then seemed to realise that in part might incriminate him. “I didn’t know you were missin’ though bruv, if I’d of known…”  
Callum raised a hand in the air. “Don’t sweat it, water under the bridge as far as I’m concerned…”

Stuart, having lost the thread of his narrative, seemed subdued again, wiping a hand across his brow. “Ben didn’t tell anyone you was missin’…if he had, we might of found ya sooner…”

Callum’s head felt heavy against the pillow all of a sudden, with the weight of what he was about to say clearly upon him. “Or I might of wound up dead…Keanu made threats over my life to Ben Stu – I ‘eard him do it. Ben was just tryin’ to protect me…” That memory took Callum’s mind right back to the period of his incarceration, as he dwelt back through everything he had seen, heard & felt.

“Yeah, well…” Stuart seemed unconvinced at the attempt to absolve Ben of any responsibility, pulling a face in demonstration. It was lost on his brother though, who still stared into mid space, as if tangled in a particular recollection.

Suddenly though, Callum sat bolt upright & forward, disregarding the bolt of pain the movement sent through him. “My phone Stu, do ya know where it is? Last I remember, the battery was dead & Keanu had shoved it back in my jacket pocket…”

Stuart instantly felt useful again. “Relax bruv, it’s somewhere in this bag of kit I brought in for ya. No need to worry about it bein’ lost & ya needin’ a replacement…” He ducked down beside the bed & began to root his way through the holdall.

Callum watched on impatiently. “Yeah but has it got any charge in it?” The question seemed to go ignored as Stuart continued his erratic search among the bag of belongings. “Did ya put any charge on it Stu?” Callum reiterated insistently. “I need to use my phone…”

Stuart paused in his task to look up at his brother, concerned at the uncharacteristic anxiety in his voice. “I put some charge on it, & it’s in ‘ere somewhere bruv…” For once, elder brother was calmer than younger. “Just give me a second to find it, yeah?”

Callum gave a nod of acceptance & tried to curb his pique: the thought had occurred to him that Ben had probably continued to try ringing the phone without the knowledge its battery had died, & would have become increasingly frantic when the call failed to connect. Little wonder then that the man couldn’t face seeing Callum in a hospital bed now.

“Got it…” Stuart emerged with a grin, holding the phone up in victory, only to find it snatched from his hand as Callum sought to hurriedly switch it on. 

“Come on, come on…” Callum urged the phone edgily as he watched it flicker into life, before eventually on the screen before him was a notification of private messages from Ben, & all the confirmation he needed that he’d misinterpreted the reason for his boyfriend’s current absence. 

_I’m sorry  
I’m looking for you  
I’ll find you  
I really need you_

Callum swallowed down hard as he took in the increasingly desperate tone of the messages, then glanced at the date associated to them. “What date was that boat crash?” He looked up for the answer.  
“Three days ago,” Stuart clarified, perplexed as to his brother’s current state.

Callum swiped the screen to check the current date against that on which Ben’s messages were sent, then surged the covers away from his body, & his weight upwards from the bed, only to be thwarted midway by another shot of pain that he had to brace himself against. 

_I really need you_

That final message had hit more excruciatingly hard than any pain from Callum’s ribs could muster. The thought that Ben had been on his own, still desperately seeking out clues to his whereabouts, while absorbing Dennis’s death & his own hearing loss, all too much to bear. 

“Whoa, whoa…” Stuart looked rightly alarmed, holding a supportive arm out for his brother to grasp. “What ya doin’?”  
“Gettin’ out of ‘ere so I can go & find Ben…” Callum gritted his teeth through the pain, as he ripped at the adhesive strip binding the drip to his hand.  
“Nah, nah, nah…” Stuart tried to argue. “You need rest, not to be gettin’ yerself all worked up…”

Callum already looked like his was about to reach down for the bag of his clothes. “What I need is to get dressed, then get out of ‘ere to find Ben…” He paused then, to give his brother a challenging stare. “And I’m gonna do that with or without your ‘elp bruv, so what’s it to be? You gonna pick that bag up so I don’t have some kind of hernia in the process, or am I doin’ this all on my own?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH THE RELIEF, to have come to the end of this kidnapping saga - as may have become increasingly apparent towards its conclusion, I just wanted out, so apologies if the writing & flow has slipped a bit.
> 
> Now we have ourselves the glory of a most wonderful reunion to look forward to, albeit tinged with difficulties & occasional despair...We all know what happened in this fic last time the boys had themselves a reunion, so expect this to be along similar, albeit entirely different, lines...
> 
> ...How best to describe? "Smut with potent emotion & feelings" is the angle I'm working from, so do heed the warnings for specific chapters when they come. Smut though, when it comes in this fic, always comes for a reason, & never more genuinely so than in the coming chapters...


	240. Chapter 240

## Actual scene merging into unseen scene of 28/02/20

Ben's day so far had consisted of endless checking of his phone, in the hope he'd find Callum had read the messages sent to him while he'd been missing.

Thus far, no notification the messages had been seen was yielded, & all Ben had to show for his day was a near miss from being hit by Keegan's moped, & the recent delivery of a packed lunch by his Mum.

"Can you hear me at all?" Kathy asked, deliberate & slow, concerned at the extent of her son's hearing loss, given she'd just walked into the Mitchell house & taken him entirely unawares where he sat at the dining table, apparently lost in his thoughts.

"The odd word..." Ben breathed out his regret, then offered an appeasing smile as he rattled the container of food she'd brought him. "Lunch, thanks..."

Kathy watched forlornly for a moment, recognising her son was a shadow of himself. She then clung to his arm to regain his attention. "What did the doctor say?"

Ben looked unsure, so she clarified again with an encouraging nod. "The doctor..."  
"Oh," he finally caught her words. "Um," he shook his head to gain some clarity: in truth he knew little of what the doctor had said, his focus having been firmly elsewhere at the time.

"He said there was an operation, but there was no guarantee that it would work". Ben seemed to deliver the explanation as if he was talking about the fate of another person entirely, not himself.

"It will work..." Kathy tried again at encouragement, but it fell short in both of their eyes, & she knew it.  
"Yeah..." Ben concurred sadly: what else was there to say?

"Have you been to see Callum?" Kathy though stayed determined to lift the mood.  
Ben just looked across at her regretfully, unable to decipher a word.  
"Callum, how is he?" she rephrased the question.  
"I haven't seen him..." he wiped sudden emotion from his eyes, & gave a cough to clear his throat. "I haven't been to see...been to see him yet..."

The need for further explanation stifled the air between them, until Ben finally crumpled. "I'd of never known he was there Mum, if I hadn't..." The reality of the thought too much to bear as Ben considered what the final toll might have been. "If I hadn't of seen his Grandad's medal I wouldn't of even known he was there..."

The words were spilling from his mouth now, as his emotions took over. "He could of been...he could of been screamin' at me... He could of been shoutin' for help, & I wouldn't of even known".

As tears began to stream from Ben's eyes, & he made only a half attempt to quell them, Kathy was distracted by the sound of the kitchen door.  
Ben only becoming aware that something was happening as his Mum turned her attention away from him to look across her shoulder.

Ben looked first to Kathy in confusion, then followed her line of vision just in time to see Stuart processing into the living room, as if on a funeral march. The presence of Callum just behind him though was all that Ben could see.

As Kathy looked across to her son in surprise, & Stuart directed a glare that communicated their presence was in no way his own idea, Ben looked with hesitance towards Callum, receiving discreet reassurances back from his man’s eyes alone.

The waiting was finally over, even if not so the longing.

Kathy rose gently to her feet, gliding a reassuring hand across her son's as she moved: no words needing to be uttered, or heard, as to the sentiments involved. "Well I reckon we'll probably leave you both to it..." her imploring glare was fixed firmly on Stuart, but she made sure to give Callum a warm smile as she passed.

"You go on Kath..." Stuart attempted to interject, as if he could possibly muster a viable reason for remaining as a gooseberry in the room.  
"Now, please Stuart..." Kathy reiterated fiercely: no doubt within her mind.  
He thought better of further dissenting a second time around, following on mutely behind.

All the while, Ben continued to stare into Callum; Callum continued to stare into Ben. A crescendo of unspoken intensity matched previously only on Callum's unheralded reappearance at the Car Lot in January. This time, though, was that & so much more.

Ben took tentative, near disbelieving steps towards his man: the familiar confident swagger gone, replaced by something altogether less certain. 

Callum stood strong & firm: eyes tracing every movement of Ben towards him; every sinew of muscle as it worked in turn.

Finally stood before Callum, Ben addressed him at barely above a whisper. "You're here..." he hesitated, lifting a hand close to, but never quite connecting with, his man's cheek.  
"Where else?" Callum returned softly, with the fondest of smiles.

It was then the bomb dropped: Ben's raised hand dropping to his side, as if struck by shrapnel. That voice, Callum's beautiful, precious voice, that he had ached for so long to hear, wasn't there, obscured as it was by the cacophony of noise that now fluttered Ben's hearing.

His beloved had spoken, & Ben had neither heard nor understood a word. He shied away from acknowledging that fact, bustling away instead towards the kitchen, desperate to hide his truth. "You must be thirsty, I'll get ya a glass of water..."


	241. Chapter 241

## Actual scene merging into unseen scene of 28/02/20

Ben tugged a chair out from the kitchen table on his way past, understanding that Callum would follow him into the room, which he duly did, taking the seat offered without question or disagreement.

Ben ran the tap for an unnecessary amount of time, filling a glass with water, then tipping its contents away down the drain, then repeating the action again, again, again. There was so much he wanted to say, yet so little he felt capable of saying. Eventually, he set a full glass down on the table before Callum, with eyes longing but heart already despairing.

"Thanks..." a bemused Callum offered out, observing a clearly awkward Ben, who continued to walk beyond him.  
"You gotta look at me if you want me to understand a word..." Ben retaliated flatly, unable to look his man in the eye.

Callum felt a little dismissed, but was unperturbed, opening out his physical gestures & repeating his sentiment more deliberately, as in line with his boyfriend's stated requirement. "Thank you..."  
"You're welcome," Ben churned out in parrot-like response, over-accentuating each syllable to emphasise how demeaned he felt.

Callum briefly looked down, an acknowledgement that he accepted Ben was finding their exchange difficult, but that he himself was determined to stick with it regardless. "You know, all the time that Keanu had me tied up in that place, I..." He felt suddenly inadequate in how to express the emotions he'd experienced. He wanted to continue to try though. "And then when I fell, & I was lyin' there, I..."

Ben seemed to respond to every word he uttered: a discomfort evident on his features throughout.

"And then you saved me, & I..." Callum stalled his attempts at explanation again, as he realised the expression on Ben's face wasn't one of inability to withstand this type of emotional response, but a complete lack of comprehension on his part. "You haven't got the foggiest idea what I was goin' on about..." Callum interpreted despondently. 

"The doctor says I might never hear again..." Ben had started to speak across him mid-sentence; another sign of his total miscomprehension. "I'm no good for you Callum, alright?" Utterly despondent & dejected in uttering those words, he turned his back to Callum & the room, bracing his hands to the kitchen worktop & praying to a god he didn't believe in that this would all pass by soon.

He hadn't banked on the fact though that Callum now lived by the mantra he himself had set him just prior to Keanu's return - _this is a new Callum, who if he gets hassled, stands up & dusts himself off..._

Callum rose from his chair slowly, determinedly, eyes never leaving the back of his man's head. He reached to lay tender, reassuring hands to Ben's shoulders, causing the man to flinch in surprise as his tears of regret threatened to consume him.

Keeping his right hand at first a constant presence at Ben's shoulder, Callum made a deliberately animated move with his left hand to draw a single digit slowly down the line of Ben's spine. He then swiftly followed that with a movement from his right hand, employing a single digit only again to trace a heart shape against Ben's back, followed promptly by the pattern of a letter 'u'.

Ben almost lost sight of himself as the realisation dawned of the gesture that was being made, smiling fondly at just how typically Callum it was. And privately knowing just how close he'd been to uttering those very words back to Callum prior to all that had happened.

He couldn't let that blur his reality now though, however much he yearned to. He dropped his head & shook it simply, even as a caressing hand of Callum's again slid against his arm.

"You've got a second chance at life, so..." Ben paused, both in his struggle to even utter the terrible words, & to pitch his volume correctly. "Don't waste it on me". The latter words came out more firmly than he could possibly have wanted them to.

Callum looked on in concern at the shell of a man before him, again resting a hand at his back & urging him to fully engage. "Ben..." he implored softly, leaning in to press home the fact that he was speaking. "Ben..."

Ben turned to reluctantly look him in the eye, feeling the instant clutch of Callum's splayed palm to his neck. He couldn't hear his own breathing, but could feel it was jagged & erratic in his chest.

"Shut up," Callum smiled softly, not about to take no for an answer, & his doting eyes never threatening to look away. "Hearin', or deaf, I would still do you in a heartbeat..."

Ben's expression fused from bemused, through enchanted, to impossibly turned on, as it dawned on him what Callum had just said out loud. "Did you just say what I think you just said?"

Callum's only response was a besotted smile that invited Ben in for a kiss without any actual words needing to be spoken. Ben didn't need telling twice, surging forward into a clinch into which he felt himself fully, properly breathe, for the first time in weeks.

With Callum's hands holding him in tight, thumbs brushing softly against his cheeks, Ben expelled a wilting moan of sheer satisfaction as he gave himself fully to their kiss. Eventually grabbing hold of his senses, along with the front of Callum's jacket, he guided their intertwined bodies slowly backwards, until he had Callum pressed lightly against the doorframe.

As they continued to be lost in the raw emotion of their increasingly passionate kiss, Ben gradually snuck a hand to beneath his boyfriend's hoodie, tantalising a gentle finger at the t-shirt beneath, while applying occasional pressure to ensure what he was doing had Callum's full attention. With a single digit, he then slowly started to trace individual letters to his man's chest, not detracting from their kiss all the while.

W  
A  
N  
T

U

Callum grinned into their fumble as he recalibrated the letters into full words in his mind, before gently holding Ben's head away & looking him square in the eye, ensuring to enunciate every word carefully as he held Ben's face firm. 

"Have me then...."


	242. Chapter 242

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

"Missed you so badly babe..." Ben murmured breathlessly into their kiss.  
"Missed you so much more..." Callum returned through equally jagged breaths, their entwined bodies venturing in the haphazard direction of the sitting room all the while.

It didn't matter that both their words were smothered within the hot air between them, the intent clear to both regardless of actually hearing or comprehending them.

Ben had managed to manoeuvre his man where he wanted him, teasing the edges of the jacket from Callum's back, prompting him to shrug it to the floor. Ben's diminished hearing, combined with a heightened sense of arousal, causing him to miss Callum's sharp groan of breath at the ensuing shot of pain.

"You wanna .." Ben muttered softly, pointing in the direction of the awaiting sofa.  
"Oh god, yes I do..." Callum affirmed without hesitation, in spite of his discomfort: some things took precedence after all.

"Not a clue what ya just said..." Ben slipped his mouth from his boyfriend's lips, instead scattering heated kisses to his neck. "But I'm takin' it to be an affirmative..."

He tugged them to their ultimate destination of the sofa, then dropped down on it, attempting to guide Callum down after him, who complied eagerly until his rib cage protested with a sharp burst of pain.

"Fuck..." Callum stumbled back to vertical in agony. "Shit, sorry..." he instantly apologised though, seeing Ben's aghast expression. "My ribs..." he lamented hurriedly.

Ben seemed to pause in time as he attempted to interpret the words, until eventually settling on them. "Your ribs?" he checked uncertainly; voice & expression laden with concern.

"My ribs..." Callum nodded, wanting to express his meaning without actually having to speak it. "I'm a bit of a state...I'm sorry..."

Ben rose back to his feet, inexplicably able to understand every word Callum had just uttered. "As if you have anythin' to be sorry for, eh?" He affectionately ran a hand to his man's face. "You get yerself settled 'ere, & I'll grab us some beers..."

With due attention to his man, Ben then gently guided Callum into taking a seat on the sofa, pausing only to deposit a soft kiss between their lips. "I'll be right back..."

"Ben..." Callum attempted to call out as his boyfriend made his retreat, feeling the painstaking withdrawal of their fingers from each other. He sighed though, knowing Ben hadn't heard him, let alone the explanation he'd wanted to give that his prescribed painkillers advised against alcohol intake.


	243. Chapter 243

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

"Get that down ya.." Ben slipped a bottle of beer into Callum's hand, then sidled down onto the sofa to sit beside him: close by, but not touching.

"Cheers," Callum accepted graciously, although immediately noticing that Ben had failed to hear, so chinking the neck of his bottle to Ben's instead. "Cheers..." he tried again.  
"Cheers..." his boyfriend smiled genuinely, then took a long, satisfying glug from his beer, while Callum took a more measured approach.

They sat in companionable silence then: Ben with his right arm lay flat against the back of the sofa; Callum's arm resting lightly on the sofa's arm, fingers toying absent-mindedly at its material.

Both men's eyes soon picked the other's out: deep-hued blues sparkling back at one another to near dazzling effect. There was so so much to be spoken between them, that neither knew where to start.

It was Callum who eventually ventured to try first. "I ain't gonna break if ya touch me, ya know..." He'd observed the incessant, niggling flinch of their hands: the aching desire to touch, but the wariness not to overstep the mark.

"Huh?" Ben took another extended draw of beer, in an attempt to casually mask the fact he hadn't caught a single word.

"I said..." Callum extended his left arm out so his fingers could interact playfully with Ben's. "I won't break, if we touch..."

Ben studied the words spoken carefully from Callum's mouth, then dropped his gaze to look down at their interlocking fingers. "Glad to hear it..." he smiled a little awkwardly, settling then to take yet another long swig of beer.

Callum watched on uncertainly, then set his mind to instigating progress. "Come 'ere..." he prompted softly, causing Ben to raise an eyebrow in query. "Come 'ere..." he simply entreated again, reinforcing the request this time with an insistent, yet gentle, tug to Ben's hand.

Ben got the message second time around, leaning forward to discard his beer bottle on the table, then crawling along the sofa to reposition to on his knees, straddling the thighs of his man.  
"Better..." Callum smiled beckoningly. "Much, much better". 

"Welcome home..." Ben returned softly, cradling a hand to that of Callum's which was holding the bottle of beer, then guiding it to his own lips to take a drink from it. "Mmm..." he then hummed appreciatively, enjoying the fizzing sensation on his lips. The pronounced bruising on Callum's face was already demanding his attention though, looking even more vivid & angry when up close & personal.

Ben lifted a hand & delicately traced the pad if his thumb beneath Callum's worst-afflicted eye. "Babe I..." he sought the beginnings of an apology, but felt his words silenced by the press of Callum's finger to his lips.

"Not now..." Callum insisted, letting his finger drift its way along his boyfriend's jaw line, to eventually rest loosely at the lobe of his ear. "Tell me instead what's gone on with you..."  
Ben didn't manage to catch the words in full, but knew from Callum's touch alone what he was alluding to. 

Just as Callum wasn't ready to divulge the finer points of his time in captivity, so Ben felt unable to explain what had happened in his world, so he tenderly retrieved the man’s finger from his ear, & dealt a precious kiss to the digit instead. "Not now..." he then quietly repeated back, just as the man himself had first uttered the words. 

Ben wanted desperately to lighten the mood, needing to capture something, anything, of them for a while: something that the outside world couldn't touch. He writhed his weight a touch deeper into Callum's lap, then emitted a mischievous grin. "You ever had a beer-infused snog before?"

Callum raised an eyebrow in question, but offered no verbal response. 

Ben took that to be approval, stealing another swig of beer from his boyfriend's bottle, then leaning in to share a kiss. 

It was all Callum could do to stop himself laughing into Ben's mouth at the absurdity of the kiss, risking inadvertently spilling the liquid everywhere. Once they had relented & he had himself back under control, he couldn't help but comment. "Chip-shop salt infused snogs in October; popping candy snogs in December; now beer-enriched snogs in February?" He chuckled merrily. "What's April gonna bring at that rate, eh?"

Ben sat in quiet adoration, enjoying every amused quirk in Callum's expression, even if he didn't have a clue as to anything he had just said.  
From the way Callum was looking at him, though, it was clear he was awaiting some sort of quip or wisecrack in response. 

Ben had nothing he could offer in respect of that, so instead threw his efforts into instigating another kiss that near immediately threatened to become something deeper.

He stalled them mid flow, retrieving the beer bottle from Callum's hand, then bending his own weight back to deposit it on the table. He knew in adopting that precarious balancing act that Callum wouldn't let him fall, & he didn't disappoint: placing supporting hands at Ben's waist, he held him firm while the manoeuvre took place, then eased Ben back to his rightful place.

"My hero..." Ben swooned softly, chasing Callum's lips for another kiss.  
"Nah”, the elder man disputed at a mumble against his boyfriend's mouth. "You're my hero..."  
Ben again had no inkling of what had been said, but enjoyed the vibrating sensation of Callum's words against his lips, sending his own hum of appreciation back in return.

That was all it took to light the spark: hands suddenly clawing & claiming at every inch of material between them; kiss instantly all tongues & teeth. From somewhere primal, deep within, Ben emitted various growls & moans of satisfaction, as Callum's hands urged his waist in closer, ever closer.

As Callum's mouth turned its attention to Ben's neck, suckering beer-stained nips & kisses at his stubble, Ben leant his head back & revelled in the sensation, a further litany of pleasurable moans starting to tumble from his lips.

Except, they weren't - not really - because Ben himself couldn't hear them. Worse even than that though, was that he couldn't hear the sounds Callum was certain to be emitting in return.

The moment was gone, Ben feeling bereaved at what he had lost. He sat up abruptly, pushing careful hands to Callum's shoulders to ease their connection away.  
"You alright?" Callum looked instantly concerned, recognising just how rare it was for Ben to turn down this sort of physicality between them.

Ben trailed a hand softly to his man's hair. "Just a bit tired I reckon. Been a long few days, ain't it?" He couldn't bear to admit the real reason for his change of heart, so hid behind a lie instead. "Sofa snuggles for a bit?"

"Sofa snuggles for a bit..." Callum concurred with a soft smile, already starting to understand that simple words wouldn't ever be enough between them again.


	244. Chapter 244

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to drop this here, then run to the hills to hide away in shame.
> 
> The text message Callum sent Ben in this scene has been haunting my psyche for so, so long. I tried writing this scene without interpreting the message, then put a message in, then deleted again. All on repeat several times over.
> 
> My final decision & effort is cringeworthy, but I hope it does Callum justice & fits with canon at least...

## Actual scene of 28/02/20

Callum’s hand rested against Ben’s shoulder as the younger man lay tucked into his side, left hand slung in claim over his elder’s knee. They’d spoken little in the past fifteen minutes or so, each just extracting solace & comfort from the other’s presence & touch.

They must have looked an utter state, Callum surmised to himself: Ben pallid of colour & still clearly suffering the effects of recent events; himself tattooed by cuts & bruises in all variety of shades & hues.

Still, Callum couldn’t have felt more at home, even if Ben’s up & down demeanour was currently giving him cause for concern enough to know there were some topics they needed to address. He curled his fingers gently through Ben’s hair as he began to speak. “Stuart caught me up with everythin’…”

Ben didn’t either flinch or stir, apparently lost in his own thoughts, so Callum knew he would have to try harder. He glanced about himself, then retrieved his mobile phone from the seat cushion, & began to type a message into it. 

Ben still made no movement, although his eyes eventually locked on to what his boyfriend was doing, & squinted when the phone was held up for him to more clearly read. He still needed to bring it in a little closer to his vision, though, clasping his hand to Callum’s to guide the phone nearer. 

Having read the message, Ben skewed his position to look up at his boyfriend, his hand though still never threatening to leave the man’s knee.  
Callum met his gaze halfway, giving a calm assurance while he rubbed a hand at Ben’s back. “Whitney arrested; Leo dead…I…”

There was a flicker of returned comfort in Ben’s features then. “Self-defence apparently…” he nodded, knowing that Callum would be concerned. “She’ll be alright…” It wasn’t a throwaway comment, but a genuine belief.

Callum guided Ben to look directly at him again. “I need to see her…” he impressed definitively, with a grip of his hand to his man’s shoulder.  
Ben gave a gentle nod of understanding. “Ok…” It hadn’t ever been a request for his permission, they both knew; just an acknowledgement between them to prevent any awkward situations. 

Callum responded with a smile of fond appreciation, but knew they weren’t yet done. He gave a nervous lap of his tongue to his lips, then carried on, knowing Ben was still looking up at him, near expectant that there were more words to follow. “And Dennis, I’m…” Callum began compassionately, reaching forward as it to envelope his man into a hug.  
Ben though rolled away, disengaging the contact between them & staring up to the ceiling in despair.

Callum felt uncertain of both himself & Ben in that moment, unsure of how he could even begin to address the obvious grief of the man he loved. For somebody who was used to consoling grieving relatives on a daily basis, this felt suddenly very much out of his comfort zone. Ben, he could see, was lost in his turmoil, & needed something to take him away from it; Callum already knew what the something needed to be.

He flicked the phone back into his hand & started to type another message out: he sent Ben the message this time, rather than simply convey it across his own phone. Hitting send, he sat, watched & waited for Ben to read what he’d received.

_Getting stiff – need a change of position  
Thinking of on my back, with my hot man on top…_

There was the faintest hint of a smile that played at the edge of Ben’s mouth first, followed by the interested quirk of an eyebrow. “Oh, really…” the younger man swallowed down, as they shared a knowing smile between them. “You sure you’re up to it? I mean, last time I saw ya lyin’ flat on yer back you were half dead…”

Sometimes, the most difficult of subjects were made easier by the injection of humour.

Callum laughed out loud, then gave a decisive nod. “I’m up for it…”  
Ben’s eyes had visibly brightened at the mere thought, as he gave his boyfriend a glinting smile. “Well I’d better get us some more beers then, & you’d better get upstairs…”


	245. Chapter 245

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, the happy, happy day has arrived that canon returns to our screens - it's been way too long. Still though, I am 6 months behind canon on this fic - how? Somebody tell me how! Got to get me some more chapters written today, before canon swoops in & messes with my mind...

## Alternative perspective of actual scene of 28/02/20

Callum let Ben spring from the sofa with an obvious sense of purpose, then followed on more gingerly behind. While his suggestion of sex had been sent as a means of distraction from the growing demons in Ben's head, it had also been utterly heartfelt. Driven. Needy. 

The thought that Callum had endured throughout his ordeal was that Ben would be there waiting for him, just as he'd promised. "I’ll see you at the Albert after, alright..." Callum wanted, needed, the man with him now just as he would have then, even if none of their torment had happened.

With Ben safely despatched to the kitchen with the promise of retrieving more beer, Callum allowed himself to grip a little at his rib cage, still feeling the burn of his injuries. Still though that paled into insignificance against the burn of his groin, so he disregarded any notion if discomfort & made his way upstairs.

Ben's room was just as he recalled it: perfunctory, fulfilling of existence rather than home. Callum didn't care though: wiith this sense & depth of feeling between them they'd be happy anywhere.

He paused momentarily, taking in the bed before him, remembering that last time they'd been here had been his own proper first time. How right it had felt; how secure he'd felt in Ben's arms & under his attentive guidance.

A juddering crash came from downstairs: the clattering of a kitchen drawer shoved with, he presumed, over-enthusiasm by Ben. Callum thought nothing more of it, other than a sign his man was similarly eager as him.

That was something he so thrilled upon in their relationship: that the physicality was always there: an eagerness to touch & be touched.

Ben was unashamedly subscribed to the need for sex to take him away from reality for a while, & Callum was beginning to understand that benefit too. When it was just the two of them, they could shut the door on the world, & focus solely on their own needs for a while.

Callum took up a perch on the edge of the bed, raising a foot to rest it against his knee as he started to unlace his trainer. Just as he'd unknotted the bow though he was disturbed by the sound of increasingly loud crashing & banging, definitively from downstairs. He was alarmed by it this time though, where previously he'd managed to pass it off as nothing. There was an insistence to it: a suggestion that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Returning to his feet with a haste that was too much for his weakened ribs to accommodate, they screamed at him in a protest of pain. Callum was oblivious to it though, because all his head could take in was the continued clattering & banging.

He took the stairs two, maybe even three, steps at a time, as he descended at pace & then on in the direction of the kitchen, from where he heard a desperate scream of anguish from Ben. The sight before him near broke his heart, as he found his boyfriend descending freefall into sobs that billowed from deep within.

As Callum rushed to his aid, reaching to pull Ben in close, while shutting off the tap that was spewing out water at a ferocious pace, the younger man crumpled then fought, raging back against Callum's comfort & trying to rip himself away.

Callum though stood firm, absorbed the flailing body parts trying to shy from his hold, until Ben finally relented & collapsed to double over by the sink, wails of hopelessness escaping him.

"It's gonna be alright; it's gonna be alright..." Callum tried to soothe, maybe as much for himself in that moment as Ben, who couldn't have heard a word. He would be able to feel Callum's touch though, so he repeatedly stroked a hand of reassurance through Ben's hair as the screams still came, accompanied by a solo punch of sheer frustration to the draining board.

As Ben continued to wilt & wail in his arms, Callum stayed present, held his man firm & strong: let Ben know that hold wouldn't diminish or relent for as long as he needed it.


	246. Chapter 246

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

The pins & needles had made their unwelcome return, but Callum gritted his teeth & refused to be distracted by them as he held Ben close & tight. He hadn’t bargained on being back in such familiar contact with floorboards again any time soon, but he’d had little choice when his boyfriend’s weight had buckled, pushing them both in the direction of the kitchen floor. 

So there they now sat: Callum with his spine backed against the kitchen cupboards: Ben cradled into him, still sobbing, with his face buried deep in the elder man’s hoodie. They’d sustained Ben’s initial response of fight then flight, for it to finally be overcome by the overwhelming need for comfort. So Callum just sat firm & gave it, wondering how Ben had kept himself even partially together for this long.

Callum had ceased offering up any words of solace, dismayed at the thought Ben couldn’t hear them anyway. Instead, he ran fingers consistently against the man’s scalp & rocked their combined bodies slowly in time. 

He swallowed down hard as a particularly fervent sob from Ben reverberated down his body, causing his injured ribs to object by delivering a stabbing shot of pain. The doctor had warned him of this when he’d been discharged from hospital: that any period of time spent in one position would cause a reaction from his ribs, with the advice given to change stance slowly but frequently. So yes, Callum’s cheeky text message invitation for a bit of afternoon delight had been exactly that, but on entirely reasonable medical grounds. 

Any such shenanigans were long forgotten now though, as Callum dipped his head to brush a series of kisses into Ben’s hair, desperate to give the broken man whatever constant reassurance he could. There was no sign that Ben had the current capacity to absorb that support, let alone acknowledge it, but Callum continued anyhow, wanting to give whatever crumbs of comfort he could. 

Still intent on distracting himself from his own building discomfort, Callum glanced about their surroundings. There was a sheen of dust across the skirting boards, & a sticky patch of something away to his right that looked suspiciously like the remnants of a spilt fizzy drink. 

One of what he suspected was Lexi’s seemingly endless supplies of sparkly hair grips was also beneath the table: he made a mental note to himself to retrieve it later, just as he felt the beginnings of Ben starting to stir in his arms. 

“I’m a fuckin’ mess…” the mumbled admission came from the younger man, who had hitherto been entirely incoherent.   
Callum took care to guide Ben’s face away from its hiding place amongst the softness of his hoodie so they could look each other in the eye. “Maybe…” he concurred slowly, deliberately, to ensure his meaning wasn’t lost. “But you’re my fuckin’ mess & I still love ya…”

Ben looked like a child lost in time in that moment, as he first followed the shape of the words leaving his boyfriend’s mouth, then struggled to take in the sheer depth of them.   
Callum, ever the personification of calm, tenderly held a thumb to the man’s cheek, padding away the tears that continued to fall. “What just happened?” he checked in carefully. 

Ben tried to give a dismissive shake of his head, but it was cut off mid action by Callum who gently stilled it between his hands. “Tell me…” There was a beseeching intensity within his eyes that Ben just couldn’t deny, so he gave an agreeing nod, then slowly rearranged his weight until he too was resting with his back against the kitchen cupboards. 

He tilted his head back, to look up to the ceiling, then began to speak. “All the time Keanu had ya, & even after that when you were missin’, there’s been this constant background noise in my head. A kind of white noise that’s constantly nagged away at me, remindin’ me you were in danger & I couldn’t give up…”

Callum reached across to combine their hands together, but said nothing.  
Ben glanced down at their interlinked digits, as Callum’s thumb began to stroke soft reassurances, then gave a loud sniff before continuing. “Today’s the first day all that noise has gone, & I’ve realised just how bad my hearin’ is…” Without warning, he banged his head back firmly against the cupboards: one, two, three times, as if reprimanding himself for his inadequacies.

“Don’t do that…” Callum called out, clearly pained at the sight, taking hold of Ben’s head once more to halt his movements. “Don’t do that…” he repeated again, in quieter tones this time, once his boyfriend was definitively looking at him, then dipped his own head to press their foreheads together, skin to skin, then pulling back a little to ensure Ben could read his lips. “You will work your way through this…we will work our way through this…”


	247. Chapter 247

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Ben woke with a start from the most frightful of dreams, in which he'd been drowning: not in the cold February tides of the Thames this time, but in a darkened pit full of decaying rubbish. 

In the midst of the gloom a warm, inviting hand had reached down to guide him to safety, but hard as he'd tried, stretching every sinew of his body to the extreme, Ben hadn't quite been able to latch onto the hand. 

His fingertips had scaled their way to the extended palm, but had slipped away from its grasp each time no matter how hard he'd fought to hold them there. 

As he'd looked up one final time before the unrelenting waste pile swallowed him down for good, Ben had seen Callum up above give a withering shake of his head then begin to walk away.

It was at that moment Ben had startled awake with a jolt.

It took a while for him to gather his bearings: it seemed quiet, although that might just have been from his lack of hearing, but his vision too seemed more blurred, more distorted than usual.

As a rising panic threatened to consume his chest, he felt a warm, inviting hand splay itself to one side of his head, gently covering his ear, & thereby taking away the sudden high pitch of alarm ringing through it.

He took a moment to compose himself, knowing suddenly what this was: where this was. With a nuzzle of his nose into the fabric of Callum's hoodie, he tilted his head to look up to his man.

"How'd ya know to do that?" he marvelled in genuine awe that Callum had managed to quell the flow of fear & instant building crescendo of white noise, in his ear with one simple touch alone.

Callum reached over to the bedside cabinet for Ben's glasses, which he slipped softly across the bridge of his boyfriend's nose. "Army trainin'..." he then shrugged casually, letting his thumb trace delicately along the outer shell of Ben's ear. 

It was all starting to come back to Ben now: his breakdown in the kitchen; the way Callum had stayed strong at his side throughout; how the man had eventually shepherded him upstairs, coaxed him into removing the contact lenses from his sore, swollen eyes, then lay them down together on the bed, still fully clothed & in need of rest.

Or Ben had actually managed to lie down at least: Callum propping himself against the headboard in a partially seated position. His injuries would mean that the joy of laying down fully flat would yet be withheld from him for several days to come.

"I'm sorry..." Ben whispered in a gravelly voice, ashamed at the extent to which he had crumbled & broken.  
"Nothin' to be sorry for..." Callum assured gently, hand still pressed to his man's ear.

Ben gave a shake of the head as he scrambled his way up the mattress to sit upright beside his boyfriend. "It should be me lookin' after you," he drew a caressing hand against Callum's stubble. "Not the other way round..."

Callum looked pensively at Ben, uncertain that there was any sort of life template as to how they should be navigating their current path. It wasn't as if there was a handbook for dealing with the after effects of a kidnapping aligned with traumatic hearing loss, after all.

Still, Ben's assertion of what he thought he should be doing neatly encapsulated the man: always seeking to do what he thought was expected of him, rather than just fumble his way through.

Callum didn't get any further time to ponder on that thought though, as Ben surged erratically into action, all recollections of his earlier troubles apparently banished.

"Where we goin'?" Callum questioned at the tug of his hand to follow his boyfriend.  
"To look after you for a change..." Ben clarified insistently.

Callum looked bemused, both at his boyfriend's marked change in demeanour, & what was taking place.  
"Come on babe..." Ben simply smiled aloofly. "Where d'we always go to make things better?"

Callum knew precisely where they were headed from those few words alone, so gave a soft smile of acceptance, even as a surge of nerves from the pit of his stomach reminded him there were further revelations yet to reveal themselves.


	248. Chapter 248

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

As the hot water filled up the bath, Callum made a first attempt at shrugging himself free from his hoodie. 

Ben, even while preoccupied with decanting salts into the water, wasn't blind to his man's struggle: as occasional winces crossed Callum's features indicating an obvious discomfort from the injuries of his recent ordeal. Ben silently troubled at whether the physical effort at undressing was causing his boyfriend to emit groans or whines of pain, & cursed that he had no way to know.

"Slow, steady...take whatever time ya need..." Ben urged softly as he moved to stand before the man, hand reaching to take hold of the sleeve Callum was currently struggling his way out of. 

Callum gave a soft smile in acknowledgement his plight had been noticed: maybe Ben did already recognise what he would be revealed after all.

Ben pecked a gentle kiss to his boyfriend's lips, then slid his way around his body to hold the second sleeve of the hoodie firm to ease his man's release from it. Letting the hoodie cascade to the floor, he then snaked his way back around Callum's body, one hand tracing a gentle path around his midriff as he slowly traversed. Returning to face his man, he stood close before him, placing both hands to his chest & lightly trailing them down it. "You show me the best way to get ya kit off ya. Don't want to aggrevate anythin'..."

Callum chuckled, so badly wanting to get a quip out about the unlikelihood of Ben Mitchell seeking guidance on how to get a man's kit off, but knowing it would be lost in the vacuum of silence that his man was experiencing. Slowly, Callum raised his arms aloft. "Pull..." he attempted to direct, but could instantly sense Ben's lack of comprehension

With a tender sense of patience, Callum moved a hand to meet Ben's, guiding him to hold on to his t-shirt's hem. "Pull..." he instructed again, this time ensuring his boyfriend could see his lips & reinforcing the word by moving their joined hands to start pulling the shirt upwards.  
Ben nodded that he now understood, leading Callum to raise his arms aloft once more & leave the other man to guide the shirt from him.

Callum then mentally braced himself, knowing the reaction that would follow.

He heard the sharp intake of breath from Ben, followed by, for himself at least, a more audible whimper, as Ben set eyes upon his black, blue, red & purple torso, seeming to falter away slightly.

"Hey," Callum instantly reassured, squeezing a hand to his man's shoulder. "It's ok..." then reiterating his words more prominently, looking Ben straight in the eye. "I. Am. Ok..."  
Ben's uncertain gaze cast its way back downwards, as he struggled with the guilt of what he saw before him. 

Callum, though, still wouldn't relent. Brilliant blue eyes dazzling that everything was just fine.  
After long, agonising, seconds - or minutes, who knew - Ben seemed to find the resilience he needed, averting his eyes to press a delicate kiss at Callum's cheekbone, where the first of the bruises lay.

He wasn't done there though, proceeding to follow a path across first Callum's face, then neck, chest & torso, as mapped out by the evidence of the man's ordeal. Every time Ben"s gaze fell upon a bruise or blemish he proceeded to place a kiss against it.

Slowly, achingly, he continued his work, steadily moving about Callum's figure, still pressing tender, affectionate kisses to each & every recent imperfection he found. This was a body he knew well, after all, so he knew what was recent scarring & what were older marks.  
As Ben lingered at the rear of his rib cage & waist, Callum began to realise just how many bruises he must have been harbouring without even knowing. He submitted to Ben's caresses unquestioningly though, sensing this to be something they both needed.

"I will kiss each & every one of these better every day if you'll let me..." Ben eventually completed his task & made his breathy admission.  
Callum captured his man's hand in his own as Ben threatened to edge away. "And I'll speak every word slowly, until you've learnt the shape of every one on my tongue, if you'll let me..."

Ben gave a coy nod of acceptance that told Callum his meaning had been understood, then quirked an eyebrow playfully. "Any danger of you actually gettin' in this bath before the water runs cold? Or we gonna stand 'ere makin' small talk all afternoon?"

Callum returned a chuckle of amusement, while unbuckling the button on his jeans. "Last one in gets the tap end I reckon..." At which he instigated the most unlikely & ungainly of races to each strip out of their clothes.

Somehow, impossibly, despite Callum's headstart in the removal of his garments, Ben still won, clambering into the tub then standing in it triumphantly. "Looks like I win, Mr Highway..." he grinned, somewhat salaciously.

"Oh no..." Callum shook his head as his eyes raked downwards to take in his boyfriend's naked body. "Looks very much like I win from where I'm standin'..."


	249. Chapter 249

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Ben reached forward to gather Callum's hand once the elder man had joined him in the bathtub. "As if yer really havin' the tap end, eh?" he smiled affectionately, guiding the man to shift his weight around. "I'll be your pillow for a change I reckon..."

It was a truth of their relationship that more often than not, it was Ben who always perched, lounged or spread-eagled against Callum, & rarely the other way. That was the constant generosity of his man, Ben supposed.

This day though he was suddenly all about wanting to be good for Callum: to give him back at least some of the tenderness & compassion he'd been shown. There were also apologies he didn't know how to speak; love he didn't know how to give, so he'd do it in the only real way he knew how.

Settling his own weight against the back of the bath tub, he gestured for Callum to settle into the gap between his legs, which was eventually achieved, albeit awkwardly.

The bath was a tight enough squeeze for Callum's long limbs normally, so he had little option but to tuck himself in tight to his man. Neither of them minded though, enjoying the closeness between them that had been absent for days.

Ben wrapped his legs over the top of Callum's, then sank his face into the man's hair to simply breathe in as much of him as he could.

"That water ok for ya?" He eventually enquired softly, not even considering it might be hard to receive Callum's answer when he couldn't see his face.  
A nod of confirmation from his boyfriend soon reminded him he had nothing to fear in that regard though, to the extent he felt comfortable to ask further questions. "Are ya in pain?"

Callum stalled as he considered how best to answer, settling on tugging at Ben's forearm then tracing out letters against it.

"Sore?" Ben translated the letters that had been written, receiving a nod of agreement in return. "The heat from the water should ease that in a while..." he advised, slipping a careful kiss to the man's shoulder. "Trust me on that: I've got all the badges when it comes to healin' battered ribs..."

He could feel the tension in Callum's torso from where it was backed in close to him, & knew all too well that awful knowledge that no position was likely to be entirely comfortable. He wanted to do whatever he could to soothe the unease. "Close yer eyes..." he whispered at Callum's temple. "Sink into me, let me take ya weight, & think like yer floatin'..." 

It had been Ben's favourite thing to do in his childhood, or during his time in South Africa at least: to lie on his back in the warm sea & drift aimlessly on the tide. On arriving back in Walford he'd tried to recreate the effect when in the bath, but to no avail. Still, it had taught him the power of weightlessness, which had come in handy later down the line when nursing his own injuries from a beating.

It was a similar sense of freeing relief he wanted to give to Callum now. He disentangled their legs, then raised his own until his knees were above water level with feet planted at the base of the tub, thereby giving Callum more space.

"Stretch yer legs out & let yerself drift..." Ben continued to coax soothingly. "I've got ya...I've always got ya..."

While Callum followed the instruction without question, his boyfriend's forefinger began to trace tiny circular patterns across his chest & stomach, to near hypnotic effect.

And there they stayed, Ben still & watchful, as his finger continued to caress intricate paths along his man's skin, letting Callum relax into the homely respite on offer within his arms.


	250. Chapter 250

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut alert, but with wider context, as always...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Callum was trying his hardest to focus on the relaxing heat of the water, & the numbing relief it brought to his ribs, but the truth was the rhythmic circling of Ben's finger at his stomach was driving him to total & utter distraction.

"Someone's gettin' switched on instead of switchin' off..." Ben's whispered observation was made through hot breath to his cheek.

Callum opened his eyes & tilted his head backwards to look up at his boyfriend. "Can't help that's what ya do to me..." There was an obvious glint of arousal in his eyes.

Ben gave back a grin of delight. "You want me to go lower?" He quirked an eyebrow as he made the enquiry, then slipped his finger to his man's abdomen, where his intricate circling resumed. "I could go this low..."

Callum squirmed beneath the increasingly intimate nature of his boyfriend's electrifying touch.  
"Or I could go this low..." Ben's finger continued on its descent to reach the soft inner of Callum's thigh.

The responsive bob of the elder man's dick was apparent to them both as it peeked its ever-increasing interest out from the water. Callum was a sucker to the touch of Ben's hands at his thighs, just as much as Ben was a slave to getting his hands on them.

"Or, I could go lower still..." Ben's finger wasn't done with tantalising where it was though, slipping down further to trace against his man's balls.

Callum near combusted at the sensation, planting his lower body weight firmly to the base of the bath, & dipping his head back to lean against Ben's collarbone.

"You like?" Ben suggested, more than a hint of seduction in his voice, & already knowing the answer from Callum's demeanour alone.

Callum sought out his man's free hand, then pressed it firmly to his chest beneath his own. "I love..." he affirmed, certain that the racing pace of his heartbeat would transmit the entirety of the sentiment.  
Ben nuzzled his nose in close to Callum's ear lobe, which he then gently sucked. "You want more?"

Callum gave due consideration as to how best he could affirm his meaning this time around, opting to the tried & tested notion of tracing individual letters along his man's forearm.

Ben sensed that to be coming, so continued to nuzzle at his man's neck & ear above water, while his finger still dwelt intimately below. His eyes fixed all the while to the word Callum was spelling out on his own skin:

A L W A Y S

Never wanting to disappoint, Ben granted his man's wish & let more of his fingers join in their play.

Callum sank his head deeper against the younger man's shoulder as his mouth fell open in ecstasy at the stroke of Ben's entire hand at his cock. In the absent-minded need to touch as well as be touched, he slid his own palms to the insides of Ben's thighs.

"I don't think so mister..." Ben, though, instantly rebuked in a whispered tone. "This is all about you, not me, so keep them wanderin' hands of yours above water where I can see 'em..."

Callum both thrilled at the attention being lavished upon him, & lamented the inability to return it himself, but let the matter drop as Ben proceeded to scatter increasingly heated kisses & nips to his neck. The man was skilled in the art of persuasion, he'd give him that.

Whether the cause was their recent separation for days on end, or a need for release from their recent troubles, Callum wasn't sure, but he knew he wasn't destined to last long as the speed & tenacity of Ben's hand increased further. Callum was soon powerless to prevent an upward buck of his hips in the direction of the contact, wanting & needing it all the more.

Ben, though, simply stalled his movements at the base of Callum's manhood, holding back the crescendo building within. "Thought we'd agreed I was the one takin' the strain 'ere..." he mock reprimanded through husky tones at his man's ear. "All you're meant ta be doin' is lyin' back & lookin' pretty..."

Callum sighed out his frustration, knowing Ben was in possession of all the aces, so ceding to that power with puppy dog eyes to gaze up at the man with. "Please..." he simply implored his boyfriend.

"Good boy..." Ben greeted the submission with a satisfied smile, then promptly reinstated the movement of his hand with added vigour. His smothering kisses of moisture & heat to his man's neck this time accompanied by seducing words. "Just wanna make my man feel good. My sexy, courageous, beautiful man..."

In combination, it was enough to tip Callum over the edge in seconds, with first the tell-tale tightening of his stomach muscles, followed by the beginnings of him shooting his load. As the spoils of Ben's efforts began to mix & pool among the bath water, he leant his head forward to capture the edge of Callum's mouth in a kiss: the elder man soon tilting his own head into it for an easier angle.

As their tongues began to gently linger & tussle together, Ben allowed himself a moan of deep satisfaction, that he knew to be there even if he himself couldn't hear it.  
"Missed you..." Callum reiterated their earlier point as he grinned into their union.  
"Missed you too..." Ben affirmed, again inexplicably having understood both words without a clear line of sight.

As their kiss resumed at an unfrenzied, refamiliarising pace, Callum suggestively pushed his body weight backwards to his man's groin, knowing unsated arousal to be there on his man's part, & expressing the desire to attend to it for him.

Ben though slid himself away from the contact, tenderly disengaging their mouths with a final peck of lips to lips, then guiding Callum's weight forwards. "Shove up a second..." he guided without fluster or ceremony, freeing himself from behind Callum as soon as he was able, then stepping out from the tub & wrapping a towel swiftly about his midriff.

If he'd hoped to complete the manoeuvre so that his own arousal would go unnoticed, he'd be disappointed though, as Callum stopped in his tracks with a graze of his palm against the towel where the bulge remained prominent. "Ben..."

"Be right back babe..." his boyfriend promised succinctly as he swallowed down hard. "Don't you even think about movin' a muscle..."  
There was an expression of obvious sincerity on Ben's face, but fused with something other Callum couldn't quite interpret. He watched on silently as his man retreated from the bathroom, then observed similarly so a few minutes later, as Ben returned to him, now fully clothed in sleep attire of shorts & t-shirt.

Something was off kilter in their equilibrium: Callum just wasn't quite sure what...


	251. Chapter 251

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

“Comfy?” It was part question, part instruction from Ben, as he guided Callum through settling his weight down in the centre of the bed, propped up against a barrage of pillows & cushions, some of which he’d liberated specially from the downstairs sofa.   
Callum gave a soft nod of affirmation that he was indeed comfortable, accompanied by a grateful smile, as he enjoyed the luxury of Ben’s dressing gown snuggled around him. 

“When you due more painkillers? Do you want some food, water?” Ben tried to busy himself, but found he was immediately stalled by the pull of Callum’s hand at his arm, demanding that he stop fussing & pay sole attention in his direction.   
“Don’t need anythin’ but you…” Callum enunciated carefully, receiving a bashful nod from Ben in return confirmation that he understood. There was an unspoken sense present now, that if this was going to be the shape of their future, they both knew it was time to start adapting to it.

Ben clambered his way onto the bed, carefully positioning himself between Callum’s legs, then shuffling his weight gently forward to rest before him on his haunches. He lifted a hand hesitantly to his man’s left cheek bone, which contained the most obvious purple & yellow bruising from a punch. “Tell me what he did to you…” he whispered cautiously, while tenderly pawing the pad of his thumb at the affliction. 

“We don’t need to go there…” Callum attempted to rebuff, but found a finger pressed to his lips to quiet him.   
“I need to hear it…” Ben insisted, then realised the irony of his statement. “No pun intended,” he managed to joke out in self-awareness. “I need to know what happened, & I think you need to tell me too…”

Callum nodded his acceptance of the assertion, understanding it was something they probably both needed before they could move forward. “Just remember,” he touched a finger to Ben’s chin to direct him into watching his lips. “I’m a bit battered & bruised, but I ain’t broken…”

Ben took his time to carefully decipher the shape of the words from his boyfriend’s mouth, & their meaning, concentrating hard on the formation of each & every syllable. “Show me, tell me…whichever’s easiest for you…” he eventually encouraged softly. “Just don’t keep it bottled up within yourself…”

Callum shuffled his weight slightly, then began his reticent explanation. “He bound my wrists together; fixed them up to chains…” As if to explain his words, he lifted his arms a little & pressed his wrists lightly together. 

Ben glanced down to the wrists before him, then back up to Callum’s face: he’d translated most of the words readily enough, but had been struggling with one, until the visual representation followed. “Bound?” he queried uncertainly. 

Callum gave a regretful nod of confirmation, at which Ben guided the wrists apart from each other, raising one up for closer inspection. He could see the angry red marks left by the binds, partially cut into the skin at several pressured points. Dipping a soothing kiss to the scarring, he studied one particularly deep wound with an intensity that showed both consternation & concern. “We should dress this one with somethin’…” 

Callum considered giving the explanation that the deeper sores had been washed out with a saline solution by the nursing staff at the hospital, but thought twice of it, given the difficulties it might cause in translation. “Maybe later…” he settled on simply instead.

Ben seemed unfazed, looking back to Callum for further guidance, maybe even approval. “Where else?” he questioned hoarsely.   
“Just the ribs…” Callum offered a little hesitantly.   
“Can I?” Ben slipped his hands to hover at the belt of the dressing gown, not wanting to take anything between them for granted, remembering at some point he needed to look to Callum for the answer, rather than expect to be able to hear it.

Callum gave his nod of consent, at which Ben slowly untied the gown & eased its sides away from his boyfriend’s torso. Even though he’d seen it before, the prolific & vibrant bruising in evidence along Callum’s chest & ribcage still caused their air to catch in Ben’s throat. He would give every inch of this bettering back to Keanu if he had so much as one shot at it. 

More pressing than that though, Ben wanted to take the pain from Callum & put it onto himself: something he’d do without hesitation if he could. With slightly trembling hands, he applied his hands with a feather-light touch to Callum’s sides, checking intently all the while that he wasn’t causing any unintended discomfort. 

“We could maybe put some ice on these…” he offered uncertainly, wishing he’d paid more attention to the theory of biology at school instead of the more practical elements.   
Callum, who’d been melting into the soothing quality of Ben’s hands for reasons more primal than medicinal, attracted the man’s attention with a playful tap of fingers to cheek, only speaking when he was sure he had Ben’s focus on his lips. “Prefer to think of you as my lover than my nurse maid…”

Ben, though able to interpret the words, couldn’t quite accept them to be true, with his self-esteem at rock bottom levels, so while Callum was anticipating a quip about a sexy nurse’s outfit, the man actually looked lost in a world of sorrow as he backed himself away, carefully tucking the gown back across Callum while he moved. “I’ll be right back with that ice babe…”

Callum silently watched Ben’s doleful retreat from the room, shoulders slumped low beneath his t-shirt, feet shuffling unconvincingly against the carpet. All his swagger seemed gone, with Callum now determined to reinstate it.


	252. Chapter 252

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

When Ben made his return from downstairs, the bag of frozen peas in his hand slipped from his grasp & to the floor in the instant he spied the sight before him: Callum standing by the bed, still robed in the dressing gown, but it open at the middle to frame & display what Ben could only really describe in that moment as his enticingly firm manhood.

All semblance of awareness escaped Ben as his eyes fixed on Callum's dick hungrily, mouth dropping open in surprise. He sensed a background hum of noise that suggested Callum had spoken, but was so transfixed he was barely able to tear his eyes away.

When he eventually did, he found Callum looking expectant, as if hanging on a response.  
"Sorry, what?" Ben queried, struggling to engage, let alone maintain, eye contact, between them, as he found his gaze drawn back in a downwards direction.

"I said..." Callum quirked a smile, knowing his boyfriend was sent. "Don't make me say it again..."  
Ben seemed confused, either uncertain as to what Callum had said, or at least as to its meaning. "Come again?"

Callum sauntered his way forward, hand outstretched for Ben's. "I said..." on his final approach, Callum whisked his hand to Ben's face, tilting it upwards, guiding his man in close. "Don't make me say it again..."

A hint of a smirk played at Ben's pursed lips as he cottoned onto his boyfriend's meaning. "Say what?" he questioned through electrified eyes, while he continued to play the innocent. For added effect he pressed his shorts-adorned lower half provocatively against Callum's.

Callum clasped his palms tight to Ben's increasingly illuminated cheeks. "I," he pecked a sensuous kiss to the bridge of Ben's nose. "Would do you..." Having pulled back to deliver his latest line in full view of Ben's eyes, he delved back in, this time to his man's lips, before similarly retreating again. "In a heartbeat..."

They engaged an intense stare between them for several agonising seconds, as each man tried to absorb the ferocity of the other's feelings, before Ben dived in with unabashed want.  
"Oh my god..." he uttered into a breathless kiss, instantly surging his groin to Callum's. "I didn't hear a word of that babe, " he muttered into the frenetic embrace. "But somehow, I heard everythin'..."

The pace Ben set was immediately relentless, prising open Callum's lips with flicks of the tongue, while rubbing & grinding up against him. Their kiss little short of filthy: all teeth, grunts & drooling saliva. 

There was nothing graceful or skilled about it: just a sudden urge from Ben to get off, as if that was what he needed to chase away the emotion & tension of the past week.

Still, he was more usually an artiste in the bedroom, taking time, finesse & pride in being attentive - since Callum had landed in his sphere, at any rate - so soon found himself mortified at the realisation he'd failed to last.

"Oh my god," he buried his head shamefully at Callum's shoulder. "I've just spilled my load in me shorts like some rookie first timer..." The sight of Callum still erect in his peripheral vision doing little to abate the disappointment he felt in himself.

Callum's hands, which were still a guiding presence at Ben's face, beckoned his man to lift up & look at him. "Don't matter..." he smiled affectionately. "I'll still have ya..."

Pecking a kiss of reassurance to his boyfriend's lips that a wayward moment of premature ejaculation didn't make him any less of a man in his eyes, Callum's hands set about trailing their way down Ben's body: palms flat to him as they traversed neck, then chest, then stomach. 

Where hands first went, Callum's head followed their descent close by, nose & teeth grazing where palms had touched before. As he sunk to his knees, disobeying the obvious pains of protest from his own body, he slipped Ben's shorts free from his hips & thighs, before letting them freefall to perch atop his knees.

As Callum set to work licking & lapping away Ben's mess, he delighted to spy the renewed eagerness from Ben's cock, which twitched back to attention from the nuzzle of stubble against it alone.

Callum glanced up towards Ben to give a quirk of an eyebrow, to which Ben shrugged in return. "What can I say?" he teased a mischievous smile. "We've both missed ya..."

Callum hummed in appreciation as he turned his focus back down to Ben's increasingly alert cock, pleased to see the first spark of the real Ben coming back to him. He made sure his boyfriend understood just how welcome that notion was too, by connecting lips to cock, then humming a vibrating tone from base to tip as he worked his way along its length.

Ben was in instant rapture, throwing his head back in delirium at the first sensation & accompanying sound that had truly hit home in days. He didn't need to hear Callum in that moment to receive the pleasuring sounds he was making.

As he felt the welcome pliant heat of Callum's mouth envelope him whole, Ben lay his hands to rest at his man's shoulders, absent-mindedly fingering the at the threads of the robe still gowning him.

As his fingernails began to gently score their way rhythmically up & down Callum's neck - enough to leave his mark, but never enough to hurt him - Ben looked down to watch his boyfriend work his magic.

The scene below took him back to horror instead of pleasurable fulfilment though; troubled flashbacks rather than a passion-fuelled future. "Wait, stop..." he choked out the instruction, a little too loudly, a little too harshly.  
Callum pulled off in an instant, hearing the fearful tremble in his boyfriend's voice. "Ben, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I can't, I'm sorry I can't..." Ben hadn't actually heard Callum's enquiry, but knew some sort of explanation was due. "You...you shouldn't ever of been on your knees for anyone," he shook his head to clear the cluttered thoughts within it. "Definitely not for him this past week, & definitely not for me now...I can’t do this Callum, I can’t…”


	253. Chapter 253

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolute, definite smut in this one...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Ben held his hand out for Callum to take, helping him back to his feet, then whispered, what he hoped to be softly. "I'm sorry, I just..."  
He was rewarded with the calmest of smiles, which radiated warmth. "Reckon we both jusr need a bit of lookin' after," Callum chuckled, nuzzling nose to nose. "Don't you?" He didn't wait for an answer, simply scooping Ben into his arms, then wrapping the dressing gown around their combined bodies. 

Ben just stared up at his man, perhaps in part adoration that he may have hung the moon, but more likely that he hadn't caught what Callum had said. 

Callum, who, displaying all the patient qualities of a saint, gently caressed a hand to Ben's cheek, then slowly & deliberately repeated his sentiment. "I'll take care of you: you take care of me, yeah?"

Ben nodded his understanding & agreement, as they edged their way back into a kiss that was more tentative & questioning than the insistence of before. They lingered close between kisses, hot breaths exchanged against parted, swollen lips; eyes scouring the contours of the other's face, seeking renewed permissions all the while. 

"I don't want to hurt you..." Ben uttered through attentive hot breath at Callum's mouth. "I don't ever want to hurt you..."  
Callum drew back just far enough to ensure his boyfriend could read his lips. "You won't..."

Ben seemed pensive, eyes scanning the other man's face intently for an answer he didn't even know how to find.  
The elder man, sensing the hesitation before him, reassuringly rubbing hands to upper arms.  
Ben sighed out his regret. "I can't hear ya Callum, so how would I ever know if ya needed this to stop?"

Callum was both touched by the concern, & a little crestfallen at how bleakly his boyfriend saw his situation. "You'll know," he offered softly, sweeping loose strands of hair back from his man's forehead. "Because you'll feel it..."

Callum let his forefinger draw its way slowly down Ben's face, with it gently coming to rest at the corner of his mouth. "Want to be as close to you as possible..." He dragged the finger along the seal of Ben's lips as the younger man's eyes followed the shape of his every word.  
"Want to be inside you..." Callum lightly pressed the digit into Ben's mouth. "Want to know I'm home..."

A tiny whimper of want escaped from Ben as he began to suck down on the finger; Callum not even sure the man knew of the noise he'd released, let alone the manner in which it so turned him on.

With his free hand, Callum started to hitch the hem of the dressing gown, still draped around both of them, upwards, giving his fingers access to the soft, inviting skin at the base of Ben's spine.

Ben's hands meanwhile found their way to his man's neckline, tugging the sleeves of the gown away from Callum's shoulders to reveal the definition of upper body muscle lying there.

As Callum's fingers made their way lower, first squeezing at Ben's butt cheeks, then inveigling their way between them, Ben sucked ever more responsively at the finger still in his mouth, while his own hands kneaded their way along the contours of Callum's shoulders.

Callum ducked his head down to capture Ben's mouth in a kiss, still letting his finger dip between their tongues to suckle up all the moisture it could take. When he was certain the finger was as moist as it could get, he snuck it free from their engaged mouths, relocating it to the underside of his man until it slowly, carefully breached him within.

Ben expelled a heady moan of satisfaction into their kiss, which instantly became more heated as he worked to writhe the dressing gown away from their bodies. 

Their ministrations were on the clumsy side for a while, as Ben fumbled them out of the gown, then himself out of his t-shirt & shorts, which had remained at half-mast around his knees all the while. It was all they could do to stop themselves giggling into the kiss they largely managed to sustain throughout. 

While Callum's finger continued its penetrative preparations, Ben somehow managed to steer their combined bodies round by ninety degrees, enabling him to reach haphazardly into a bedside drawer for condoms & lube, then settle to perch his left foot flat on top of the mattress. With lube drizzled liberally at his own fingers, he lowered his hand to find Callum's, with ease of access now much improved by his change of position.

Much to Callum's surprise, as evidenced by his stall from their kiss, Ben slid one of his own fingers inside of himself alongside of Callum's, letting its rise & fall tempo then be set by that of the other man. 

After several slides of their fingers in unison, & then to Callum's even greater surprise, Ben hooked his finger onto that of his man, allowing a corkscrew effect deep within.

It took Callum a moment to get back with the programme, unravelled as he was by the intimacy of their union within Ben, but he got the message as Ben surged their mouths back together & pulled Callum's body tight against his own.  
Their two combined fingers were soon joined by another of Callum's, Ben pushing his weight down onto the ever more glorious stretch within. 

"This ok?" Ben mumbled the question to Callum's lips, as it occurred to him he was implementing a new technique within their sexual repertoire without having gained Callum's consent first.

"Amazin'..." Callum assured without hesitation, other than to ensure Ben had his lips in vision. "Ok for you too?"  
"Peachy..." the return came, accompanied by a warm chuckle.

Ben suckered his lips down Callum's jawline & neck then, suddenly determined to reclaim every inch of the glorious man before him, freeing his finger from being conjoined with Callum's in the process. 

As his attentions descended further, smattering hot, wet kisses to Callum's chest, then on down his sternum, he paid tender heed to avoiding the most viciously-bruised areas around the ribs. His all-consuming quest to kiss all untarnished areas of body only halted as he felt his chin start to nudge against Callum's impressively expectant dick.

Ben couldn't resist nuzzling at its tip, as if in the fashion of an eskimo kiss, simultaneously reaching for the condom he'd retrieved earlier, only to find the foil packet insistently snatched from his hand by Callum.

Ben looked up just in time to see the packet being tossed away, still fully intact, & felt in an instant fizz of desire in his stomach. "You sure?" he whispered huskily, clambering his way back up Callum's body to press lips against lips once more.  
"Never been more certain of anythin' ." Callum agreed. "Wanna be close as possible, remember?"

Ben gulped down hard at the sentiment, feeling an emotion he couldn't quite fathom bubble up inside. He distracted himself swiftly from it by taking Callum in hand, & generously prepping him with lube.

"You'll get me all riled up, talkin' like that..." Ben bit down on his lip in aroused amusement. "Even if I can't hear ya..."  
Callum tapped fingers softly to his man's chin to draw his attention upwards. "Maybe that's what I'm hopin'..." His eyes sparkled with glee at the thought.

Ben too was turned on by the notion, enchanted that in spite of everything that had befallen them, Callum still seemed to actually find him attractive. While Ben had wanted to jump the man's bones in the second they’d stood before each other downstairs, there had been a constant, lingering uncertainty as to whether Callum would still feel the same way.

"Hey..." Callum brushed his lips to Ben's, seeing his boyfriend threaten to become trapped in his thoughts. "Ya with me?"  
"Always..." Ben confirmed with more than a hint of wonder in his tone. "Always..."


	254. Chapter 254

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definite smut alert for this one...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Ben grunted out a few short breaths of sheer need into their kiss, then slowly pulled back, trailing a finger restlessly down Callum's sternum. "Your call how we do this babe, I really don't wanna risk hurtin' ya..."

Callum would quite frankly have taken his boyfriend in any way by this point, but still blushed at the genuine kindness of the sentiment. "Well," he mused quietly yet with obvious pronunciation, as he swept Ben's hair from his forehead. "Much as I hate to say it, I reckon you ridin' my lap is a no go..."

Ben seemed thoughtful for a moment, as if to understand it was back in his court to give guidance. He pressed his lips firmly to Callum's then backed away. "You trust me, yeah?"  
"Always," Callum affirmed, chasing after the man's lips in vain.

"It's me should be on my knees for you..." Ben expanded, sinking himself down onto the mattress. "Not the other way round..." Without further explanation, he positioned himself on all fours on the bed, then looked sumptuously back across his shoulder at Callum. "I'm all yours babe..."

The sight alone of his boyfriend offering himself up so fully sent a shot of something as dangerously close to primal as Callum had ever felt before, instantly expanding his arousal.

Ben licked at his own lips hungrily at the magnificent sight, then rocked his weight backward then forward impatiently. "Keep a boy waitin' why don't ya..."

Callum snapped himself from his enchantment at that, stepping towards his man, & placing a palm firmly to each of his invitingly bath-softened arse cheeks, which he began to knead at gently.

Using the repetitive action to slowly coax the cheeks apart, Callum periodically let a thumb slip fully between them, ghosting temptingly at Ben's puckered opening, causing the man to buck his waist downwards in need & anticipation.

Callum wanted to take it slowly though, never wanting to catch Ben unawares given his limitations of hearing. Stroking one of his hands upwards, he splayed a palm at the small of his boyfriend's back, while the fingers of his other hand dipped their way fully between his cheeks, where they caressed & toyed at the sensitive skin located there. He then pressed the heel of his hand splayed at Ben's back down firmly, as if in indication that a change of tactics was imminent. 

Ben seemed to understand the inference, casting a glance back across his shoulder to his man, then giving a nod of consent. His mouth promptly dropping open as he greeted the readmission of several of Callum's fingers, instantly surging deep within.

The open gape of Ben's mouth proved too inviting for Callum to ignore, so he folded his weight forwards to lean down over his man, engaging their mouths into a heat-drenched kiss. 

When they surfaced from the clinch, Callum in need of air having failed to take adequate account of the limitations of his ribs, & Ben needing to relieve the strain from where he'd been awkwardly craning his neck, the younger breathed out what Callum at first assumed to be an exclamation of unabashed joy. "Fuck me..."

When Ben repeated the sentiment again though mere seconds later, with a throaty growl to his tone & desire burning bright in his eyes, Callum realised it in fact to be a demanding instruction. "Fuck. Me..."


	255. Chapter 255

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still some frisky shenanigans here, but with some genuine feelings at their core...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Who ever was Callum to refuse an order such as that, when it was delivered with such openness & vigour? He'd sensed all along this was what Ben had needed to set himself level, but Callum wasn't about to deny he was similarly turned on to the hilt: there was something so urgent, so empowering in Ben's tone, that all Callum wanted was to obey, yet still knowing he was always safe in the heat of his boyfriend's commands.

That didn't mean Callum would allow himself to be rushed though, understanding the importance of this reunion for both of them, & recognising this was virgin territory for himself - again.

Yes, they'd had sex in a similar manner to this before - & yes, Callum still blushed to this day as to where the sheer animalism of their episode on Jay's desk at the Car Lot had come from - but that day had somehow given him a new sense of drive & purpose in himself.

While the physical formalities were the same, this time round everything felt different though: more intimate, more meaningful than before. So while Callum was eager to fulfill his man's needs, he wouldn't do so at the sacrifice of his own.

How could he ever hope to express those sentiments to Ben without words though, as their current situation required? Callum set firm on an idea, sinking his mouth to Ben's back & drawing his lips, tongue & teeth along his spine at an achingly slow, yet gloriously attentive speed.

That single act alone transmitted everything that needed to be spoken between them: I hear you, I want you, but I want to do this right,.

Ben inhaled sharply at the sensuality of touch, purring out instant praises as he arched his back into the contact. He knew this was Callum's way of slowing him down, getting him back in the moment, instead of lost in the frenzy. 

With the gentle release of his fingers from within, Callum gave a momentary tug to himself, then pressed the heel of his palm to the small of Ben's back as before: a silent language between the two of them as a signal of what would come next.

Mere muscle memory alone served to remind Ben of the delightful attention that gesture of hand had preceded before, so he gave a consenting nod again, on an eager breath this time. "Please, babe..."

Callum granted the wish without delay, sinking himself slowly into his man, soothing the path for Ben with a continual circling of coaxing fingertips to back. Praise Callum couldn't lavish with words of how well Ben took him, instead given by exquisite touch alone.

This moment of union always took Callum's breath away, no matter how often it occurred - the fusing of red-hot desire with all-encompassing white heat - to the extent he sometimes forgot to follow through once nestled deep within his man. 

"Babe..." Ben exhaled a huff of exasperation. "You are allowed to move..." He rocked his weight away from Callum then back onto him, in reminder of the motion that was required. "Don't mean t'rush ya, but I'm kinda hangin' here for some attention..." As if to further accentuate the point, he shifted to & fro a little more animatedly for a second time.

"Babe, come on..." Ben felt certain he was about to combust from pent-up frustration, but pulled himself back from over-dramatisation in the nick of time, stealing a glance over his shoulder at the sudden sense he was missing a greater, more meaningful point.

The awaiting sight of a tell-tale bob of Callum's Adam's Apple instantly telling Ben all he needed to know about exactly where his boyfriend was lost to in that moment.


	256. Chapter 256

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so you might choose to interpret this as utter filth: then again, you might see some big old insecurities & anxieties tucked away...either way, I'd probably give this one a skip if the smut side of things isn't your bag...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

"Proper sight that, yeah?" Ben gave a seductive smile back to his man, glancing upwards with piercing eyes.

Callum broke from his fascination to link his gaze instead with that of his boyfriend's. A crimson flush creeping its way from chest to neckline as he smiled coyly at being caught out.

Ben tipped his head inquisitively to the side, as if trying to interpret Callum's perspective. He knew well enough by now this temporary stall in proceedings wasn't stagefright, but instead dumbstruck awe. Mixed in there though somewhere too was a sense of embarrassment, a notion of the forbidden, & Ben wouldn't let that manifest any further here in this, his bedroom. "As ya were..."

Callum looked a little perplexed, wrongfooted by the present trajectory of their interplay, buried deep within Ben as he remained.

"Eyes on the prize babe..." Ben elaborated cheerily, then delivered a teasing lick of his lips before averting his gaze to the headboard in front of him. "Gonna let you watch me take every glorious inch of you in, then you're gonna watch yourself take whatever of me you want..."

A shuddering whimper of thrill escaped from somewhere deep within Callum at the realisation his boyfriend had noted his voyeuristic enthralment at what had been his clear view of the act of penetration. Another first to be ticked off the list.

Ben writhed himself slowly off of his man, making a pronounced over-exaggeration of the movement, before slowly sinking back down onto Callum again. He repeated the motion several times over with deliberate steadiness, moaning out wanton sounds & comments all the while. "God babe you have no idea how good you feel inside me: hot, hard & full. So, so full..."

Callum for his part was transfixed: watching the increasingly effortless glide of himself in, then nearly all the way back out, of his man. His hands were feeling idle though, begging to get tactile, so he grasped them to Ben's waist, although only to receive an instant rebuffal.

"No ya don't..." Ben bucked his waist first to one side, then to the other, to dislodge his boyfriend's palms. "No touchin' allowed while I'm puttin' on me floor show..."

Ben was already thriving on the theatricality of his performance, enjoying the chance to lose himself for a while & be a little more of the old him: the more familiar him. On his latest reverse back onto Callum's lap, he leant his forehead down to the mattress & pointed his arse skywards for a change of angle. "Mmm babe..." he let out a heated growl of satisfaction. "Never had someone fill me up so well as you do..." As if to accentuate the praise, he gave a few swirls of his hips while he remained pressed in tight to his man.

Callum's breathing hitched at the combination of sensation & sight before him: the inward clench of his stomach muscles giving their own rendition of his increasing arousal. 

Ben felt it too. 'You like that, eh?" The greedy smirk on his face evident from his tone of voice alone. "Well..." he leant deeper still onto his man. "I've shown ya a few of my special moves, maybe it's time you do the same for me..."


	257. Chapter 257

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to think these boys need therapy, but there's only one type of therapy they're currently thinking off, even if they're coming at it from different angles...so to speak.
> 
> Yes, the smut with very definite feelings continues...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Callum took a moment to simply breathe & gather himself back together, knowing that to tip over the brink of ecstasy at this point would be an injustice to both of them. The stilling of Ben’s movements upon him had paused them in time, with the younger man’s head still planted against the mattress & his bum cheeks pointing up into the air: all affording Callum what was quite frankly the most erotic viewpoint he’d ever been permitted. 

What truly made their current union beneath the waist so special, so intimate, to Callum though, was that they’d danced their way into it without any exchange of words: just through touch & response of touch alone. Yes, Ben had given his occasional spoken tutorial of suggestion & encouragement, but Callum had only ever responded through actions & touches. A hope burned bright in his soul that Ben understood that too: that a lack of hearing wouldn’t ever impede this level of physical attraction & emotional connection.

Callum was suddenly determined to press that sentiment home. Returning his hands to their rightful place on his boyfriend’s body, he ran cupping palms along the contours of his buttocks, then applied a gentle pressure at the small of Ben’s back by way of indication he wanted him to straighten his spine & return to horizontal once more. 

Ben seemed to understand the request that was being made, returning willingly to an equal distribution of his weight on all fours, briefly arching his spine in the manner of a cat stretch that delivered a tightening clench around Callum, causing the standing man to emit a sigh of pure pleasure. 

Driven by a desire for further searing contact, Callum drew his stance slowly backwards then eased himself forward into Ben once more, accompanying the glide of himself into his man with the slide of a palm upwards along his spine. With each sway of his body in retreat from within Ben, then back achingly deep into him again, Callum accompanied the motion with the continual rubbing press of his hand to his man’s back.

Standing up tall while anchoring himself to Ben’s bent-double frame with that one caressing hand, Callum was still permitted the luxury of seeing himself at work: able to feel his own mouth gaping open in stupor at the sight of his boyfriend engulfing him whole; admitting him within to take as he wanted without hindrance or protest.

It was a heady experience: the understanding that Ben was so trusting of him to take everything he needed from where he was so openly inviting him. As his flattened palm continued to traverse its path against his boyfriend’s spine, Callum could feel breathy reverberations filtering their way through Ben, the vibrations of which were sending thrills straight to Callum’s cock. 

Feeling sudden urgency for completer fulfilment, Callum gripped hands to either side of Ben’s waist, instigating an immediate change of tempo that saw his own motion alter from smooth glides to surging thrusts. He heard the resultant rushed expulsion of air from Ben’s lungs that came out as a squeak of surprise, & couldn’t help but grin to himself with pride that he was capable of drawing that sort of reaction from his man.

With the exception of that one involuntary response though, Ben continued to take everything Callum was giving him with total acceptance & submission: the sense striking Callum that this was somehow still Ben’s manner for apologising for everything that had been. The man spread so gloriously before him wasn’t allowing himself personal gratification from it, giving that glory to Callum alone instead.

That wasn’t ever what this reunion was meant to be about for Callum though: it wasn’t a ritual for regret, but a rekindling celebration of their relationship & an affirmation that they had only come out stronger of everything they’d been through. 

Callum stilled his movements as he watched a solo droplet of sweat bead its way against the hairline of Ben’s neck, & he suddenly lamented the distance between them in spite of how they remained so intimately joined. Releasing the grip of his hands, which he noticed had inadvertently left pinch marks at his man’s skin where he’d been holding him so firmly, Callum dipped his weight forwards to extend his arms around Ben’s torso & embrace his hands at his chest. He then tenderly guided him upwards from all fours to a kneeling position, until Ben’s upper body was nestling right back against his own.

While Callum began to nuzzle kisses to his neck, Ben tilted his head so their eyes could lock on one another. “See anythin’ particular that took ya fancy back there?” he teased with an affectionate grin.  
Callum simply chose to trail a finger down Ben’s sternum, pausing part way to map out the shape of the letter ‘u’. As he let his finger then continue on its insistent progress south, he secured his lips to his boyfriend’s throat & pressed firm, non-negotiable words into it. “Always you…”


	258. Chapter 258

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The frisky shenanigans continue, so please continue to heed the warning if that's not your bag.
> 
> There may, or may not, be one last smutty chapter after this one, before we threaten to get back to actual canon...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

A shudder transmitted through Ben in the instant he felt the firm wrap of Callum’s warm hand around his cock: he was always powerless to resisting the charms of those large, all-encompassing hands, & this was no exception.

To be absolutely fair, Ben had been the model of decorum up until now: giving precedence to Callum in respect of his wants & needs: Ben simply taking his role in fulfilling them. He couldn’t say he hadn’t been near hanging for a bit of service to himself as well though, slipping into an almost trance-like state to stay in the moment & be good for his man rather than just for himself.

He should have known Callum would never let that be though: passivity & submission just weren’t ever likely to truly be his thing. Not Callum no: he was Mr all-inclusive, ever-present, ever-attentive, ever-ready. 

Ben emitted a sultry moan as Callum set to a pace he could match with his hand working at Ben & his dick taking him within. With Callum’s mouth delving its way along his neck to deliver hot-breathed kisses, Ben tipped his head back against the man’s shoulder in surrender, & was soon rewarded with the trace of lips against jawline & stubble. 

This was Ben fully giving himself away, he could admit that to himself in the increasing intensity of the moment. With his hearing so impeded, he was putting total trust in his man to reconnect them through the power of touch alone. Held firm there in Callum’s frame, as the man throbbed into him deep & set a beat with his hand, Ben could have sworn it was a rhythm that matched that of his own soaring heart. 

“My god, babe…” he gasped out breathlessly, then gave up all hope of any further coherency, falling instead into emitting short panting breaths to keep himself afloat. Raising his arm to loop it back behind them, he set a hand to the nape of Callum’s neck, intent on keeping the man in as close as possible. 

So intrinsically linked were they in that very definition of closeness, Ben was convinced he felt them both teeter on the edge of release at the exact same moment: the tightening of Callum’s abdominal muscles at his back, & the clenched tightening of his own stomach the giveaway that orgasm was close. 

As Ben felt the first crash of the wave wash over him, he turned his head to chase after Callum’s mouth, his lips only managing to claim a part of that prize, yet still instigating a messy if meaningful kiss between them that was all probing tongues. 

With the beginnings of Callum’s own crescendo deep within Ben, he slowed his own pace right down, still rocking into his man & tenderly working them both through the combined afterglow, tongues still seeking to intertwine all along as they traded hot gulps of breath. 

Eventually, reluctantly, Ben slipped himself free from his man to turn until full frontal in his arms. “Welcome home babe…” he whispered softly, a fond smile in evidence across his lips as they chased after Callum’s for further contact between them. 

As they kissed, slow & sweet, suddenly with all the time in the world, Callum’s hands snaked their path up Ben’s sides, to eventually nudge at this boyfriend’s armpits & guide his arms to loop their way to rest across his own shoulders. 

He leant back from within the hold to ensure Ben’s focus was fully on his lips. “Welcome home yaself…” he grinned happily, giving a brief nuzzle of nose to nose, then clasping his hands firmly at Ben’s arse to scoop him up from the bed, leaving the younger man with little other option than to squeal in surprise & swiftly swing his legs around Callum’s waist to stop himself from falling. 

“Thought your ribs were bust…” Ben chuntered out once he’d gained some sense of composure & equilibrium.   
Callum manoeuvred them around the bed, then dipped his height to settle Ben down on the mattress. “Reckon I’ve just had me some of the best remedy goin’…”


	259. Chapter 259

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I said there'd likely be one more chapter of smut, it turns out on writing, there will actually be two more.
> 
> Today's is just the aperitif to the next chapter really, which has the potential to be full-on 🔥 the way it's shaping up: you have been warned. I like to challenge myself as a writer, & that means stepping out of my comfort zone...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

"Was it good?" Ben trailed incoherent patterns across the skin of Callum's chest as his head stayed nestled against his man's stomach.

Callum tussled fingers to the man's hair in invitation for him to look up at him: they'd been strewn like this for some time, limbs tangled, since the euphoria of joint climax had subsided. "You know it was good..." he beamed, as his boyfriend's gaze connected with his own.  
"Yeah but," Ben pressed again, dissatisfied with the answer. "I mean, was it good seein' yerself right there inside me..." The incessant circling didn't ever stop; his eyes still scorching into Callum's as he searched out the answer.

"You know it was everythin' baby..." Callum affirmed softly in giving his reply.  
Ben sighed, finger still tracing its absent-absent-minded marks. "Wish I could've watched ya, watchin' yaself..."

Callum's hand, which had been mid carefree ruffle of his man's hair, stalled.  
"Bet ya were gettin' that glorious creepin' blush of yours on when ya saw yerself in action..." Ben continued to ponder, with a chew down on his lip for good measure.

Callum squirmed his weight about, seemingly uncomfortable at the direction the conversation was taking.: Ben instantly noticing, & scooching his way up the bed to face his man while clambering into his lap so he could straddle him in a kneeling position.

"Ain't nothin' to get embarrassed about babe..." Ben dealt a stroking palm of reassurance along his face. "Watchin' yaself, & lettin' yaself be watched: it's hot. .Sexy & hot: not to mention deeply erotic..."

With the explanation given, having lingered on the salient words, Ben leant in for a kiss, then pulled slowly away to whisper a throaty request to his man. "Let me show you?"

The swallowed gulp from Callum was prominent as he wrestled with the workings of what had been asked, already knowing he was turned on at the thought, yet still somehow uncomfortably exposed by it.

Ben stayed still before him, tilting his head in expectation of an answer. When none was forthcoming, he knew he needed to cajole again. "I know yer tempted babe, can see it in them ocean eyes of yours..."

The outward flick of Callum's tongue confirmed his boyfriend's observation as correct, when he gave a coy nod of consent to his man. 

"Mmm," Ben hummed in jubilation, as he pressed his lips back to Callum's. "Reckon I've just uncovered a little kink that's been hidin' itself away in this head of yours...Time we set it free, don't ya think?"


	260. Chapter 260

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is as billed: utter filth & 🔥🔥  
And also on the extended side...
> 
> There is a reason for this smut-fest, above & beyond the boys feeling the need to reacquaint themselves fully with one another, although it's unlikely to become apparent until a later plot line.
> 
> (And no, before anyone asks, that future plot line isn't a direct tie-in with Callum's suggestion at the end of this chapter, although quite frankly, never say never as far as this fic goes!)
> 
> Enjoy, or endure, or gloss over, or peek out from behind a cushion to read when you're sure no-one's looking, but do please as always trust that there are real & true feelings involved in this smut when it comes to the Ballum boys...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Having delivered one last affirming peck to Callum's lips, Ben retreated his way back down his body at a crawl, finally reaching a stop at his man's knees, & settling there resting back on his own haunches.

He then just sat & quietly regarded his man for a while, seeking a point of entry to his innermost psyche.

Callum too stayed quiet, uncertain as to what exactly was happening, & battling hard against a sudden feeling of inadequacy. This was something different: where normally their sexual interactions were all about touch, there was now little tactile contact between them, & the unwavering intensity of Ben's stare was causing him to fluster.

"Relax will ya babe..." Ben intervened with a soft smile, his eyes still scanning those of his man without relent. "Yer meant to enjoy this..."  
Callum winced out an apology. "With you sat on me like that, undressin' me with ya eyes?"

Ben took his time in responding, either being deliberately obtuse or trying to interpret the words, Callum wasn't sure which: all he did know was that Ben's penetrating stare still didn't concede an inch.  
Eventually though, the reply came. "Bit difficult to undress ya any more, given yer already starkers..." Ben's observation was accompanied by the very deliberate quirk of an eyebrow.

That was all it took to send the familiar blush of crimson embarrassment creeping up Callum's torso & neck, flushing his cheeks & ears red in turn, & Ben immediately knew he'd found his in. He gave a seductive smirk of delight, & then began.

"You need to understand the effect that blush of yours has on me babe..." Ben took himself in hand as he spoke & gave a slow stroke along his length. "You colourin' up for me like that tells me you can feel this insatiable spark that's between us; that it burns you from inside to out, just like it does me..."

Ben continued to deliver long, effortless strokes to himself as he spoke, eyes fixed on Callum all the while. "It tells me you're thinkin' about all the things you'd like me to do to you, & you to do to me..." A delicious smirk sparked at Ben's lips as he watched his boyfriend swallow down hard. "Have I got that about right babe, what you're thinkin' about right now?"

Callum spluttered out a cough, unconvinced that anything he tried to say wouldn't come out at a squeak. "Yeah, yeah ya have..." was eventually all he could muster.

Ben acknowledged the admission with a coy smile, as if breaking from the role he was playing for a moment to reassure his man, then plunged right back into his salacious act with a deep-rooted moan & a firmer tug at himself.

"Oh babe..." He let his eyes flicker shut momentarily as he delivered another firm tug to himself. "The thought of you all hot & bothered, that does things to me, I don't mind tellin' ya..."

Having emitted another wanton moan, Ben reopened his eyes & bit down on his bottom lip, while his hand returned to delivering strokes at a more leisurely pace. "Can't help but wonder what some of them things are you're thinkin' you'd like us to do..."

Callum again swallowed down a lump in his throat, then made as if to speak, but found himself silenced as his boyfriend surged forward to press a finger at his lips. "Sshh, not a word babe..." Ben grinned. "Wanna imagine them all for myself..." 

In pushing back to rest on his haunches again, Ben gave what was a blatantly intentional downward thrust of his hips to Callum's dick, which neither of them had failed to notice was already standing to attention.  
"Always so willin' for me babe..." Ben praised breathily. "Always appreciate that in my man..."

Resettling in his squatted position, he let his eyes rake their way over Callum's body in obvious admiration of what he was seeing, while he resumed stroking & pleasing himself.

"Fit as, is my man..." Ben admired, a tone of captivation in his voice, as he began to tease at the head of his own cock, revealing the first droplets of pre cum. "So fit, this is the effect he has on me whenever I think of him..." Ben followed his words up with another insatiable moan.

The temptation was proving too much for Callum by now, who reached out, wanting to feel the powerful effect he was having on his man for himself.

Ben, though, snapped out of the self-pleasuring he'd been administering, his groans of satisfaction switching to a growl of discontent. "Sure I said this earlier didn't I babe? My show, my rules, & my rules are no touching..."

Callum's hands pulled away from Ben as though he'd been burnt: desperate for the private performance being put on for him not to stop. He'd have to settle on giving some pleasure to himself then, in lieu of giving it out to Ben.

"And for the avoidance of any doubt babe..." Ben's husky tones again interjected, just as Callum sought out his own cock to which he could provide some relief. "My rules include no touchin' yerself either..."

Callum outwardly groaned at the news, his manner of disappointment & frustration so pronounced that Ben picked up on it, despite his lack of hearing.  
"Gonna get you off completely hands-free babe..." Ben advised wickedly. "Show you just how hot watchin' can be...."

Knowing it was an argument he couldn't possibly hope to win, Callum let his hands drop down to his sides.  
"Good boy..." Ben praised with a lick of his lips. "Gonna let you see just how hot you make me when yer strung out beneath me like this..."

Ben knew he would be pushing his luck to tease Callum too far on this their first attempt, so decided to quicken his pace a little. "Just remember babe..." he grunted out as he fisted at himself with a real sense of purpose for the first time. "Any time you fancy puttin' on a show for me, we get to play by your rules..."

"Mmm..." he then hummed to himself agreeably. "Can't wait to find out what the rules of your show will be some day..." Enticed by the thought alone, Ben closed his eyes to let his imagination run wild, slowing the glide of his hand to a coaxing stroke once more, as he let out a series of delicious moans.

Callum had resorted to balling his hands into fists at the bed sheets by now, eager to follow Ben's wishes, but still struggling against the fundamental urge to touch. Let alone be touched. As the increasingly filthy noises Ben was making shot their way straight to the blood flow in Callum's dick, he decided the only option left was to sit on his hands. So he did.

"So good for me babe, aren't ya..." Ben moaned out, breathless from both the physicality & effect of his work. "So good for me, here in my imagination, & here in my bed..."

Ben reopened his eyes, but found himself bewitched at the sight of Callum before him, to the point he almost lost his flow. There was the beauty of the man laid bare before him: compliant to the verge of self-sacrifice, yet deserving of everything he wanted in the world.

"Fuck, babe..." Ben couldn't help but compliment the vision he saw, but knew he needed to get back to the agenda he himself had first set. "Look at you, all big & hard & oozing for me..."

Their eyes locked together in a transmission of pure want, & Ben knew he needed to finish this off for both their sakes. He gripped at his own leaking cock firmly, then began to thumb at his head. "Can you imagine this babe? That it's my hand on your dick?"

Callum fidgeted uncomfortably at the mere suggestion.  
"I can imagine this is your big, firm hand wrapped around me..." Ben increased his tempo once again, instantly gasping for air. "Can imagine it's your hot palms claiming me; your long fingers playing at my head..."

Ben let out a gasp that could only be described as ecstatic as he toyed with himself. "What about you babe?" He still managed to stare his man down throughout. "What are you imagining from me?"

Callum writhed beneath the intensity of Ben's gaze, feeling his own breathing starting to shudder & both seeing & feeling the pulsing throb of his own neglected cock. He longed to free his own hands & give himself some much-needed relief, yet understood that wasn't the way.

"Come on babe..." Ben continued to smother himself with pleasure, working towards an unstoppable high, but knowing he needed to get his man there too. As proof of a point; as reward for adhering to his rules; & not least, just for the sheer thrill of it.

"Tell me babe..." Ben prompted again through a jagged breath, his entire lower body now working to the rhythm of his hand. "What am I doin' to you that's gettin' you off?"

Callum knew there was something, of course: knew there was something that was catching his eye that Ben would be doing for him. He bit down hard on his lip, as his boyfriend looked on expectantly.

"Tell. Me..." Ben insisted more urgently this time. "Don't wanna leave ya behind..." He'd had to steady the pace of his hand again, so had gone back to thumbing at his spongy & increasingly moist head.

Callum flashed out a lick of his lips, feeling parched by the rising heat of his man's show, then nodded down in the direction of Ben's free hand, which was lazily splayed at his thigh.

Ben followed Callum's gaze with his own, then smiled as he realised what his man was telling him. "Oh," his eyes sparkled with a potent mix of thrill & desire. "You like the old married man's hand job, do ya?"

He released his grip on himself, causing his highly-alert dick to spring & bob about in frustration, a vision that sent a similar instant shockwave to Callum's own. Ben then lifted his previously idle left hand & held it forward to his boyfriend. "Spit for me...." 

Callum wasn't sure he could magic up even the tiniest dribble in his current state of arousal, but did as he was asked, spitting into Ben's palm & surprising himself with the results.

There was a second then, as Ben worked the spittle around his palm, that Callum dared to dream it would be his own cock the newly-moistened hand would be making contact with, & an electrifying judder worked through him at the thought.

Ben though wasn't about to change the rules of play at this advanced stage, adding a spit of his own to his palm for good measure, then plunging that hand down to his own expectant dick.

He hissed at the instant the ring on his finger made contact with flesh. "So ya like that then do ya? The chill of the cold metal against the heat of ya rod?" he moaned out in commentary to Callum.

Ben had made it his business through years of hook ups to refuse hand jobs from strangers wearing wedding rings, because he just didn't need that kind of shit. Especially when they went to the trouble of switching the band from ring finger to index finger just before the liaison: the indentation on the revealed skin always a giveaway.

So against all odds, this was something new to Ben too, & he was revelling in it. "So it's what..." he questioned of his man as he began to tug firmly at himself. "The rub & drag of the metal along yer achin' cock that gets ya goin'?"

Ben shut his eyes & leant his head back to fully absorb the sensation, letting out some sinful moans as he stroked at himself again & again.

Callum couldn't help but squirm beneath him: the sight of Ben pleasuring himself to a rhythm & tempo dictated by what were actually his desires near too much to take.

Ben could feel the restlessness beneath him, so determined to intensify the thrill. "So if I move my hand to here..." He settled the weight of his cock in his palm until its head was resting at his knuckles. "And I bring my ring into play..."

He thrilled instantly at the awakening touch of metal to his over-sensitive cock head, letting out the filthiest groan Callum had ever heard. Ben's hips even bucked involuntarily into the metallic contact desperate for more of the abrasion on offer. He let his eyes drift steadily open, to fix Callum with a gaze of pure arousal. "You know exactly how special this feels, don't ya..."

Callum nodded his keen agreement, as Ben again bucked his hips, thrusting himself back fully into his palm, then starting to jerk at himself relentlessly, the constant rub of ring to heated skin always within Callum's sight.

"You can feel this, can't ya babe..." Ben grunted through his exertion. "Every stroke, & every inch of pleasure it brings..." He was in vocal freefall by now, verbalising each & every sensation with an uninhibited moan or groan.

Callum was a goner from the range of sounds being emitted alone, so bucked his own hips upwards as a desperate beg for some relief.  
"You don't need me or my hands babe..." Ben reminded through jagged breaths. "Just yer imagination to get yaself off..."

Ben flicked his ring across the tip of his cock once again, releasing a trembling shout of ecstasy as he did. "Feel it babe; feel it all as if it's you my hand's touchin'..."

Knowing himself close to crescendo, Ben put all his efforts into getting Callum there too through the power of description alone. "Feel it: babe feel my hot, sticky hand not relenting; feel the surging, buildin' tempo; feel the harshness of the metal against yer throbbin' stiff..."

As Ben gave his encouragement, he lost himself to all the sensations he was describing, & with the first spurts of his release, made an admission that might have startled him had he actually known he'd said it. "Need to put a ring on your finger babe, so you can give this to me next time..."

Callum's own release spilled in quick succession at the utter emotional honesty on display, not to mention the vision that was his boyfriend climaxing atop him.  
"God, babe..." Ben slumped himself forwards, all energy now spent. "That was..."  
"Yeah, yeah it was..." Callum affirmed, although doubted his man heard him with face currently buried into chest.

They recovered their breathing in that position for a while, before Ben finally came back to life, & looked up to his man. "Understand how hot watchin' really can be now?" He clambered his way up Callum's body, to be sure he could fully receive the answer.

"Mind. Blown..." Callum chuckled as he gave his response.  
Ben dealt a gentle kiss between their lips & began to nestle his way into his man's side, only to be stopped by his boyfriend tugging him back to the level needed for continued eye contact.

"Next time we do that..." Callum ventured calmly, stroking a hand to his man's still flushed cheek.  
"Next time we do that..." Ben quirked an eyebrow, interest peaked, & eyes insistent on the suggestion being continued.

Callum's tongue swiped outwards, giving a lap to his lips, always an indication he was either nervous or impossibly turned on. Or perhaps maybe a bit of both. 

"Next time I take ya on all fours..." He paused to check Ben was following his meaning,  
"Go on..." Ben urged, intrigued as to what might follow.  
"Next time I take ya on all fours, we'll do it in front of a mirror..." Callum finally managed to blurt the words out amid a flush of embarrassment.

Ben sat stock still, wondering if he really had interpreted the shape of the words correctly, or if it was wishful thinking. "Say that again babe..." he choked out gruffly.  
"In front of a mirror," Callum reiterated slower this time. "So you can watch me, watchin' us..."

Ben's eyes visibly rolled to the back of his head at the thought of that addition to their sexual repertoire, before he flung himself dramatically down onto the pillow, a satisfied smile on his face. "Thought that was what ya said babe. Thought I'd better just check before I close my eyes & start fantasisin' about it..."


	261. Chapter 261

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

Callum tickled fingers lazily to the underside of Ben’s chin as a prompt for the man to look across to him. They’d lapsed into partial slumber after their energetic efforts at reuniting: Ben lay down with his head on the pillow, & eyes closed even though he quite obviously was still awake, most likely making plans for accommodating his boyfriend’s earlier proposition; Callum turned onto his side, still in a more propped position to aid his breathing, silently keeping watch over his man.

Ben let his eyes drift slowly open & gave his boyfriend a weary, if dazzling, smile. “What, round three already?”  
Callum shrugged an almost suggestion that he wouldn’t entirely discount the notion. “Any idea where my hoodie ended up?” He asked the question on his mind though.

Ben squinted as he watched the shape of the words play on repeat through his mind until they formed clearly enough to understand them. “Yer hoodie?”  
Callum gave a gentle nod of affirmation, accompanied by a soft smile.  
With the scratch of a finger to the corner of his eye, Ben gave the matter some thought. “Still on the bathroom floor I reckon, with the rest of our kit…”

Callum leant a hand to Ben’s cheek & offered a cajoling stroke. “Ya reckon my boyfriend could go get it for me?”  
The younger man gave a pout of clear dissatisfaction with the request, about to make a joke about what exactly his man’s last slave died of.  
“Need a couple of the painkillers from the pocket…” Callum elaborated, thumb still exploring the cheekbone structure of his man.

Ben hadn’t ever extracted himself from a bed so fast, save for maybe the odd time pre-Callum when he felt the need to do a midnight flit from a hook up’s bed. “Shit Cal, yer in pain? Ya shoulda said…” He disappeared from the room, & then returned again at such velocity, that all Callum could really do was laugh, even if it only exacerbated his discomfort.

“And what’s so funny exactly?” Ben queried, as he rifled through the pockets of the hoodie he’d retrieved from the bathroom floor.  
“Just not sure Little Ben’s ever bobbed about so energetically in his life…” Callum suggested with a smirk, as he gave a very pointed nod in the direction of his boyfriend’s bare genitals.

Ben took time to absorb the words & make sure his understood them fully, before cricking his neck to one side & fixing his man with a firm glare. “Little. Ben?” He pronounced the words with notable emphasis on each & every syllable, while he advanced towards the bed, discarding the hoodie on the carpet beneath & now just holding a packet of medication in his hands. 

“Little. Ben?” He repeated again, still with significant emphasis, as he folded himself down to sit beside his man, flicking the box of tablets around within his hand. “Ain’t no-one ever told ya it ain’t the size of the package that matters, but what ya can do with it…” Playing along with the teasing, he held his arm aloft in the air, so the packet of medication was just out of his man’s reach.

“Oh, I don’t need any convincin’ on that score…” Callum chuckled, then shuffled to move his body weight upwards, grimacing sharply in the process.  
Ben immediately relented at the sight of his man’s discomfort. “You ok? If the pain’s too much…”

Callum shut the notion down with a press of his hand to his man’s. “Nothin’ I can’t handle. Maybe just get me a glass of water so I can take a couple of them pills…”  
Ben gave a nod that he understood, then rose back off the bed, snatching the hoodie back up off the floor to protect his modesty this time, slipping it over his head as he went, knowing the height difference between them would allow for ample coverage of his nether regions by the soft fabric.

He made his way downstairs to retrieve a glass of water, then back up in no time, perching a seat back alongside his man again & holding the glass for him as Callum popped first one, then a second, pill from its wrapping. 

As Callum accepted the glass, placed the pills on his tongue & washed them down with the water, Ben picked up the box the medication had been in & started scanning it for information. “Says you should take these with food…” He studied his boyfriend carefully while offering the observation. “I’ll knock us somethin’ up…”

He went to move again, but found himself halted by Callum’s arm. “Ya don’t have to…”  
“I want to…” Ben smiled back warmly, running a hand through his man’s now unkempt locks. “We’re s’pposed to be takin’ care of each other, remember?”  
“Can I at least come & help?” Callum questioned back.

Ben seemed to give the matter great thought. “I guess that’s permissible,” he eventually smiled. “Just don’t go thinkin’ I’ll be givin’ up occupancy of this hoodie…”  
“Wouldn’t dream of it…” Callum smiled fondly. “It suits ya…”  
Ben returned the smile then rose to his feet, before reaching down. “Just like this dressin’ gown of mine suits you…” he retrieved the suggested attire for his boyfriend from the floor. 

He tossed the article in question in Callum’s direction. “See ya downstairs then sexy…”  
“Be right with ya: just gonna take a wazz…” Callum confirmed, although never quite knowing if Ben had noticed him speak at all, given he was already mid-retreat from the room.


	262. Chapter 262

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the tags for this fic say "Angst & Fluff & Smut" - well by god do we get some angst, & there's been more than a little smut round here of late, so I feel it's time for some fluff 😍
> 
> There's an implied reference to an early-nineties film scene in this chapter, that I hope to god enough of the readership are old enough to remember...

## Unseen scene of 28/02/20

"Nobody ever told ya it's rude to stare?" Ben, having reached up on tiptoes to retrieve something from a high shelf of a kitchen cupboard, turned to find Callum leaning in the doorway.

"Admirin' the view, ain't I?" Callum grinned, articulating clearly as his man stalked his way across to him.  
"Coppin' an eyeful more like..." Ben teased, in allusion to the fact he remained in a state of undress, save for his boyfriend's hoodie. He then though changed the mood to something less playful. "You alright?" He trailed a hand cautiously down Callum's chest. "Seemed to take you an eternity to come downstairs..."

"I'm good..." Callum assured brightly, dismissing any suggestion his injuries were causing him anything more than a minor agitation: even if that wasn't entirely the case. His ribs were throbbing with pain, to the point it had been a physical effort just to have a pee: the painkillers would kick in soon enough though, & he wouldn't allow himself to be beaten. "Just absolutely famished, so what ya cookin' me sexy?"

"Cookin' ya?" Ben repeated, fisting his hands to the lapels of his dressing gown, as being modelled by Callum, then tugging them snuggly to his man. "Was literally just gonna make you a sandwich babe, not cook a three-course meal".  
"Only messin'..." Callum tapped an affectionate finger to his boyfriend's nose. "A sandwich is everythin' I need".

"Mmm," Ben hummed in agreement, still fiddling at the soft fabric of the gown, & clearly not at all bothered as to whether the food he was planning to serve up would pass muster or not. "Still say this looks good on ya, this babe. Love the sight of you in my things..."  
"Straight back at ya..." Callum grinned happily. 

There was a stilted pause then, the suspicion rising in the elder man's mind that his boyfriend had failed to catch his words.  
"Grab a seat then," Ben didn't let it show even if that was the case. "Time for me to wow ya with my culinary prowess..."

Callum gave a nod of acquiescence, & shuffled across to sit at the kitchen table as directed, only to then be struck by a notion of confusion as he looked around. He had to delay in voicing that thought to Ben though, until the man next turned to face in his direction.

"Thought this was just gonna be a sandwich?" Callum ventured when he next found he was in his boyfriend's eyeline.  
"Eh?" Ben, quite clearly distracted, had failed to catch a word.

"What's with the cookin' on the stove?" Callum tried again. "Thought this was just gonna be a sandwich?"  
"As if!" Ben pronounced dramatically, having now fully understood the question. "Yer always rustlin' up your speciality for me, so I ain't about to fall short in return now..."

Callum greeted the sentiment with a warm smile, touched that his boyfriend wanted to make the effort for him. It was certainly a far cry now from when they'd seen slumped on the floor against the cupboards in this room some hours earlier.

"Just gotta chop this bad boy into submission without him bringing me to tears, & we're all set..." Ben tossed an offending onion in the air, catching it effortlessly as it fell back down.

Callum pushed himself up from the chair by bracing against the table, again ignoring the surge of protest from his ribs: the movement catching Ben's attention & drawing his eyes back to his boyfriend.

"Ya want me to show ya?" Callum offered generously. "There's a trick to cuttin' onions the right way, so they don't sting at ya eyes..."

Ben took his time to dissect the words the offer had been made in, then gave a shy nod & stepped away to one side, gesturing that prime position at the chopping board was all Callum's.

"Don't be thinkin' I'm gonna do all the work for ya," Callum chuckled in return. "All I'm gonna be is a guidin' hand..." He gestured that Ben should actually take the place at the chopping board, then stepped in close behind him.

Leaning his arms around Ben's sides, Callum carefully picked up the knife & passed it to his man, then placed his own hands securely over Ben's, one in combination with the onion, the other with the knife.

Having prudently rotated the onion within their combined grip, Callum guided it down to the chopping board, then positioned the knife to slice off one end. He then diligently placed the knife out of harm's way to one side, before setting their combined hands to work at peeling away the onion's skin.

The act itself seemed peculiarly symbolic of their relationship, Ben even mused silently, as he enjoyed the feeling of his hands' work being led by Callum, & the outer shell of the onion flaking away between them. Always guiding & encouraging; never demanding & influencing. 

With the onion now free of its outer skin, Callum again guided them into picking up the knife, turning the onion into the required position deliberately, then halving the vegetable once down its centre. With every cutting action from the knife, Callum's hand took care to protect Ben's from the blade.

The knife was then repositioned to score multiple lines horizontally from the onion's bulb, but never through it. As Callum then switched the knife's angle to make vertical lines, & therefore chop the onion segment into small pieces, Ben ventured to speak.

"Startin' to feel like Demi Moore in that film _ Ghost_,” he marvelled in appreciative awe at the attention & care of his man's hands to his.  
The whispered breath of warm air against his neck told him Callum had been amused by the thought.

They didn't exchange any further words, Callum just expertly & efficiently coordinating the chopping of the onion within their grasp. Partway through though, the taller man did start to nuzzle soft kisses to Ben's neck as they worked.  
"Show off..." Ben pretended to chastise his man's prowess in multitasking, although simultaneously leant his head back to Callum's shoulder for greater coverage.

Later, as they sat opposite each other at the table, consuming the fruits of their labour, Callum piped up mid-meal. "Guess that makes me Patrick Swayze then, don't it?"

Ben took his time to absorb both the words & his latest mouthful of food, fork stalled in mid-air before an amused smile finally played across his lips. "I guess it does, yeah..."

Callum gave a nod of satisfied approval. "I'm happy with that..." An affectionate smile then emerged on his face as his toes sought out Ben's calf to stroke along beneath the table. "You're way sexier than that Demi Moore mind baby: she can't hold a candle to ya when it comes to bein’ scantily dressed & flashin’ a bit of thigh..."


	263. Chapter 263

## Unseen scene of 02/03/20

Callum hummed a jaunty tune under his breath as he added some bread to the toaster for Ben, & poured milk over his own bowl of cereal. Just as he was putting the milk bottle back in the fridge, a rattling knock juddered at the Mitchells' back door, preceding Jay opening it & craning his head around. "Lola made me come as the advance party to make sure the coast's clear & you two ain't in a compromising position..." the man sniffed out his explanation by way of a greeting.

Callum gave a chortle of amusement. "You pair have got an over-active imagination".  
Jay's brow visibly furrowed. "Not accordin' to your boyfriend's description of your sex life. Although why he has to inflict me with so much detail of it is beyond me..."

Callum raised a quizzical eyebrow but offered no response. It would be fair to say the weekend had elapsed largely with time spent lounging around & having slow, unhurried sessions of sex. He wondered how Ben would portray those acts to Jay if asked, because Callum himself would describe it as making love. He took a first mouthful of his breakfast as he decided to quell that thought.

"Lo will be round in a minute," Jay went on to expand as he took a seat. "She's just droppin' Lexi off at school: between you & me she's hopin' you & Ben won't mind her & Lex spendin' nights back over 'ere again, now the two of ya have had a bit of alone time". He mimed air quotations to highlight the final two words. "Says she's 'ad enough of mine & Billy's economical approach to cleaning".

Callum's eyebrow quirked of its own volition again as he pondered over the wider implications of Jay's monologue. "Ya wanna coffee Jay?" He swiftly decided his was not to reason why. "Reckon we'll leave Lo to ask the man of the house that question about movin' back in. Not exactly my call to make..."

Jay gave a nod of solidarity as to where they both stood in that particular decision-making process, then accepted the offer of a beverage. "Lo would ask the man of the house, but Phil ain't around at present, so I guess Ben'll have to do..." he quipped out dryly, as Callum pulled another mug from the cupboard.

Relocating himself & his bowl of cereal to the table opposite the other man, Callum dared to voice the question that had surfaced more than once in his mind over the course of the weekend. "Where is Phil anyway Jay?"

The dark shadows under Jay's eyes seemed to become instantly more prominent as the colour in his face drained a little.  
"I mean, I ain't bein' funny, but his son's lost his hearin', & Phil's nowhere to be seen..." Callum offered his casual observation, then took another spoonful of cereal from the bowl.

Jay scratched at his temple, then gave his typically cagey response. "Phil's just lost Dennis: it hit 'im hard, I reckon..."  
"It hit Ben hard too..." Callum dismissed decisively. "He ain't done a disappearin' act though..."

Jay merely shrugged his shoulders, implying his classic suggestion there was more to it than he was saying, but that Callum wouldn't be hearing it from him. He swiftly changed the subject, & hoped Callum wouldn't notice the clumsy key change. "So how are you anyway mate; them ribs of yours on the mend?"


	264. Chapter 264

## Unseen scene of 02/03/20

"And how's Ben doin'?" Having ascertained Callum's generally improving wellbeing, Jay pressed on to check about his brother. "And actually, where is his lordship, anyway?"  
"He was second in the shower, so he'll be down any minute..." Callum shrugged. "He's doin' ok considerin'. We've had a quiet weekend, ya know, just tryin' to take on board everythin' that's happened..."

Jay offered a nod of sage understanding, but looked troubled. "How ya findin' the communication between ya? I mean, me & Lo had to resort to dictatin' text messages to get through to 'im at some points..."  
"Yeah..." Callum seemed pensive. "It's generally ok, if I make sure I speak clearly & hold eye contact. He ain't really said much about what the doctor reckoned though..."

Any hope he had that Jay might be able to shed any further light was derailed by the bustling arrival of Lola through the door then. "I swear that little girl of mine is turnin' a bit more into her Dad with every passin' day..." She had barely drawn breath before swooping into her comment. "She's just informed her school teacher she won't be attendin' school as of next academic year, due to her performin' commitments...Oh, hi ya Callum..."

Callum gave a nod in greeting, simultaneously rising from his chair. "You wanna coffee Lo?"  
"You are a life saver..." she beamed broadly. "Some days there ain't enough caffeine in the world to get me through a day..."

Callum discarded his half-eaten breakfast on the side, in the realisation he hadn't even registered he'd been consuming it, as Lola took a seat at the table. He adored these little scenes of domesticity he was treated to exist within amongst the hub of Ben's family, & let Jay & Lola chatter away between themselves as he set about pouring out the coffee.

Just as Ben's toast popped up in front of Callum, so the thundering descent of the man himself could be heard coming down the stairs. "You got that spread on my toast yet Mr Swayz..." Ben stopped abruptly from finishing the nickname he'd been using for Callum all weekend long at the realisation they had company.

Callum simply permitted himself a knowing smile as he placed steaming cups of coffee in front of Lola & Jay, not failing to clock the suspicious look on the former's face.  
"What were ya about to call 'im? " Jay queried in his brother's direction, as Ben stood in the doorway.  
"In case ya hadn't noticed Jay, I'm still deaf & still can't hear ya..." Ben huffed out impatiently. 

Callum turned his attention to his man then, gently guiding a cup of coffee into his hands & offering a soothing suggestion he relent a bit. "Sit yaself down, yeah?" He dealt a soft kiss between their lips, then tried to whisper the next bit, so Ben would be able to read his lips, but the rest of the room wouldn't hear. Toast'll be with ya in a second Demi..." 

Unfortunately for Callum, Lola had razor-sharp hearing, as well as wit, & let out a cackle as Ben took a seat in the chair his boyfriend had previously been occupying. "You pair’ve been watchin' _Ghost_ again ain't ya?"

Callum emitted a light blush at knowing they'd been rumbled, turning swiftly to occupy himself with adding spread to his man's toast.  
"Oh my god no..." Lola wasn't yet done though, sensing there was more to the story. "Has Ben been gettin' that potter's wheel of his out again?"

Callum gave a short cough of embarrassment that he hoped would be masked by putting the lid back on the spread, then turned back to pass the plate of breakfast to Ben, accompanying it with gently running a hand through his hair.

"Ben ain't got a potter's wheel..." Jay offered with a shake of his head in bemusement.  
Callum seized on the distraction to retrieve his own coffee to take a lingering sip, peering across the rim of the mug all the while.

"Oh my god..." Jay then screwed up his nose & grumbled. "That ain't some sort of euphemism, is it?"  
"No," Lola looked across at her boyfriend with pitiful disdain. "Just a reference to one of the most romantic & sexiest film scenes of all time...Still, I'd hardly expect you to know that, would I?"  
Jay raised his mug of coffee to his lips & blew down on it hard. "Let's face it: if a film ain't got guns & a car chase in it, I'm hardly likely to be interested, am I?"

Callum took the opportunity of their bickering to sit down, offering his own viewpoint on the matter. "Well technically there are guns in _Ghost_ ain't there? Patrick Swayze's character gets shot, don't he?"

Callum looked across to Ben for clarification on the matter then, but found his boyfriend detached from the conversation & pawing absent-mindedly at his toast. He waggled his fingers in his man's eyeline to draw his attention. "That's right ain't it?" He only continued to speak when he was certain Ben was watching. "Patrick Swayze in _Ghost_: he gets shot don't he?"

He was met with a blankness of expression from Ben that set his heart instantly ablaze with concern.


	265. Chapter 265

## Unseen scene of 02/03/20

Callum shuffled his chair along the floor until he was sat closer to Ben, then tried again. "Patrick Swayze, in _Ghost_: he gets shot, don't he?"  
Ben gave an abortive nod that he understood this time. "Think so, if I'm rememberin' right..." There was a quietness to his voice that hadn't been present in days.

"Well there's all the excuse we need to watch it again, eh?" Lola enthused. "We can initiate this one in its joys..." she nudged at Jay to indicate she was referring to him. "And we can double-check on what the murder weapon was..."

Jay seemed unconvinced. "Little point me sittin' through it now you've ruined the plot & told me which character snuffs it..."  
"That ain't the main plot though, is it?" Lola bit back in petty bemusement. "It's just the catalyst to the story that unfolds..."  
"Well I'm more interested in catalytic converters than catalysts, thank you very much..." Jay folded his arms in resolute dismissal. "So I'll be givin' it a miss..."

While Lola & Jay continued their discussion, which seemed to Callum part banter, part something more deep-rooted, he ceased listening, & instead focused his attention on his man, who seemed uncharacteristically aloof. He slid a hand to Ben's thigh & squeezed at it lightly. "You alright?"  
His boyfriend responded with a sigh. "Just hadn't bargained on this double act at my breakfast table..." He waved a hand in the direction of the oblivious couple across from them.

"Fair dos..." Callum agreed with an affectionate smile, then snatching the toast up from Ben's plate & taking a bite of it for himself.  
"Oi, that's mine..." the younger man started to protest, only to find the toast pressed to his mouth as an invitation for him to take a mouthful too.

As Ben did just that, & they smiled at each other with affectionate eyes, Callum found them interrupted by Lola.  
"Ben'll know: what's the name of the character Patrick Swayze plays?'

Expectant eyes fell on Ben for an answer that should trip from his tongue.  
Callum tickled fingers to thigh in advisory movement that something was anticipated of his man.

"Eh?" Ben queried half-heartedly, causing Callum to promptly intervene.  
"The name of Patr8ck Swayze's character babe..." he reiterated slowly.  
"Not a clue..." Ben shrugged curtly, picking up his toast for another bite.  
"Fat lot of use you are..." Lola scorned with a scowl. "I'll Google it..."

While Lola tapped at her phone's screen with her acrylic fingernails, still bickering with Jay in effortless fashion, Callum observed Ben carefully, watching his man now at least attempting to follow the conversation that was taking place, but an ever-increasing frown furrowing at his brow in the realisation he couldn't catch the words.

Callum let his finger start to trace love hearts against his man's trouser leg, in calm reminder that he wasn't on his own.

Ben watched the travel of the finger along his leg for a moment, understanding it to be Callum's way of asking him to drop his hackles just a little.

"Sam..." Ben sighed out to the room. "His character's name is Sam..." It was a tentative concession to the beginnings of at least trying to interact. Everyone had to start somewhere, he guessed.

And as the chit-chat across the table sparked up again, he dropped his hand down onto Callum's, & focused on extracting what he could from the conversation, instead of mourning what he couldn't follow.


	266. Chapter 266

## Unseen scene of 04/03/20

A sense of calmness had started to drift across Ben in recent days, quieting his turmoil over his hearing loss, & he knew that was thanks to the patience & efforts of Callum alone. So the revelation that his man was planning a return to work hit hard. "What about ya ribs?" he examined his boyfriend with an unrelenting stare.

"Light duties only," Callum assured, mistaking the concern as being for his own wellbeing rather than his partner's sanity. "Reckon I'll be desk-bound for a few days at least..."He let the words, laden with innuendo given their previous with office-based sex, linger in the air, but they died a painful death on the back of Ben's drop in mood.

Ben picked antagonistically at a wayward loose thread on the seam of his trousers while he offered up another thought. "Is it about money? Cos if it is you know I'm good for puttin' bread on the table. You could enjoy bein' a kept man for a while..."

Callum stopped what he was doing, deciding he was maybe better off devoting his full concentration to the conversation. "It ain't about the money..." he folded his weight down onto a chair next to Ben. "It's just time for me to get back in the game..."

Ben heard himself scream inwardly - _ What about me? How do I get back in the game?_ \- but it wasn't something he'd ever vocalise: wouldn't ever want to add in that layer of guilt.

He raised himself up from his own chair instead, & went to perch on Callum's lap. "It's been good though, ain't it? Bein' kept in our own little bubble of existence. Doin' what we wanted, when we wanted..."

"It's been amazin'..." Callum affirmed, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "And it still can be, if you'll have me kickin' about here still after work each day..."

Ben smirked at that. "Ya know I'll always have ya: any time, any place..." There were doubts & worries swirling in his mind that he knew he should be admitting to, but when Callum looked at him in the way he was now, none of that really seemed to matter.

Instigating a heartfelt kiss between them, Ben had one request of his man. "Stay over the night before yer due back at work though yeah? Wanna see ya gettin' into that figure-huggin' suit of yours..."

Callum happily hummed his acceptance back into the kiss.


	267. Chapter 267

## Unseen scene of 06/03/20

The sound of the alarm pierced through the darkness & brought Callum round from his slumber. 

In uncharacteristically retro fashion, Ben's bedroom still boasted one of those early-nineties alarm clocks with a vibrant red time display, & Callum hadn't been able to resist the urge of setting it, just because.

He was regretting that decision now though as he revisited just how wickedly shrill the alarm on those clocks could be, & hurriedly sent an arm out from beneath the covers to silence it.  
He wondered in that moment how many times in his life the man lay in bed beside him had cursed the onset of that same alarm, & fumbled to turn it off abruptly. 

Ben still lay restfully undisturbed now though, his ears not transmitting the chiming noise to his brain. Their bodies were still huddled in close: Ben's sense of vulnerability from his lack of hearing often most acute in the night, so always seeking the constancy of Callum for reassurance.

It felt near criminal to even be considering waking the younger man when he looked so peaceful, & so at peace, but Callum knew he had a promise to keep. He started to gently press his lips to the nape of his man's neck, applying varying amounts of warming pressure to the soft skin located there. As alarm calls went, this one certainly seemed much more civilised than the rude awakening he himself had just endured.

Ben began to slowly, if reluctantly, rouse to the caressing touch of lips at his skin. "Gonna insist you wake me up like this every mornin' from now on babe..." he praised through a voice still heavy with sleep, then rolled himself over to look at his man. "Mornin'..."

"Good mornin'..." Callum returned with a soft smile, breathing the words out through a hot breath so he knew his man could feel them, if not actually see or hear them. He then daintily dabbled a finger to the bridge if Ben's nose: an already familiar routine to establish what he would do next.

Leaning gently over to Ben's side of the bed, he retrieved his glasses, then slipped them onto his man's face. He let Ben's vision momentarily adapt, then greeted him warmly. "Proper sexy them..."

"Hope that ain't your way of tellin' me yet about to scarper from my bed..." Ben smiled wistfully, drawing a line along his boyfriend's breastbone.  
"Work calls..." Callum confirmed as he lifted a hand to his boyfriend's chin & stroked his thumb against it.

Ben seemed a little trapped in himself for a moment, as if there was something he wanted to say, but didn't know how to. The ocean blue eyes sparkling across at him pulled the words from him though. "I'll miss ya..."

It was coda really for so many other things - _Don't leave me; I don't think I'll cope on my own; I only seem to understand the world around me when you're at my side..._ \- things Ben thought he'd be weak to ever admit.

"I'll miss you too..." Callum smiled fondly, & was then seemingly capable of reading his man's mind. "And I'm only across the road if you need anythin' at all..."

There were emotions that threatened to break over Ben's features then, as he struggled to absorb the dedication on show, let alone adequately respond to it. His eyes glossed over a little, not with tears, but a sheen to deflect the other man from his fears. "Better get into that suit of yours then sexy," he sniffed with attempted casual nonchalance. "You've already got one stiff waitin' after all..."

Callum though wasn't one for deterring with petty innuendos any more. "If you need me, you call, ok?"  
Ben seemed hesitant as to whether he could let himself fall.  
"Ok?" Callum repeated, insistent yet endlessly patient.  
"Ok..." Ben concurred at a whisper, the faintest of wobbles visible in his lower lip. "Ok..."


	268. Chapter 268

## Unseen scene merging into actual scene of 06/03/20

Ben stared vacantly at the television screen in front of him, as he struggled to comprehend who out of a blue team & a red team, competing in some non-sensical gameshow, was winning, or quite frankly even give a toss about it.

He was awaiting Callum's next text message response, & the delay was starting to feel insufferable. They'd been trading messages, at Callum's instigation, since shortly after the man had left for work. It was 8.15am now though, & the responses had dried up, presumably because Callum was now getting on with his day.

Ben hated the situation he found himself in with a passion: knowing that the hustle & bustle of the morning routine must be going on elsewhere in the house, but that he couldn't hear any of it.

He felt more of a stranger in his own home than ever before, & was feeling about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Where Callum had this knack of making Ben feel valued & wanted, others now were too busy going about their daily business. Even Callum was now too, it seemed, sadly.

A flash of vibrant blonde mixed with blue surged into his line of sight like an apparition: Lexi, the one other soul in the world, other than Callum, capable of saving Ben from himself.

"I can't hear you babe..." he lamented sorrowfully in response to whatever words she had spoken.  
Lexi though defiantly signed something back in return. "Don't. Be. Sad..."

How could he in the face of such infinite affection? Ben gathered himself together to shuffle towards his daughter, asking her in for a hug. "I'm not sad when I'm with you..."

As he cradled his little girl in his arms, rubbing an affectionate hand at her back, he tried to truly believe the words he had spoken for himself. Eventually, he tore himself away. "Now..." he coughed down his emotion. "Have you 'ad yet breakfast?"

It hurt more than words could say that he didn't already know the answer for himself.


	269. Chapter 269

## Unseen scene of 06/03/20

Hours later, Callum let himself into the Mitchell household, through the kitchen door, as had become standard, greeting Jay who he found there. "Right Jay?"

His de facto boss looked pensive as he studied a takeaway pizza menu, but looked up to warmly acknowledge the other man's arrival. "Right mate?"  
Neither answered the intrinsic question within their mutual greetings, Callum instantly pressing on, concern writ across his face. "How's Lexi?" Word had spread equally via messages from a distraught Ben, a concerned Lola, & an at the end of his tether Jay that Lexi had been minorly injured by a collision with a car while out with Ben earlier in the day. 

"Yeah," Jay expelled a visible sigh of relief. "She's ok; just minor cuts & bruises..."  
"And Ben?" Callum voiced the question they both knew would be tougher to answer.  
"Beatin' himself up about it..." Jay admitted honestly, just as Lola entered the room.

"I'll go check on him..." Callum reassured, offering a smile of greeting to Lola as he passed. "He in 'ere?" he checked, gesturing towards the sitting room.  
"Yeah mate," Jay affirmed, then returning his focus to ordering their takeaway. "Oi, Callum, any preference on pizza topping?"  
"Nah mate," Callum returned, casting a final glance back over his shoulder. "I'll go with whatever".

He emerged into the sitting room to find Ben & Lexi together in close quarters on the sofa. "Callum!" the young girl instantly greeted his arrival exuberantly.  
Ben seemed responsive to his boyfriend's name falling from his daughter's tongue, looking up in his man's direction.

"Hey Lex..." Callum put a hand to her head, while simultaneously leaning down to press a kiss at Ben's lips. He was treading a narrow path of ensuring neither father nor daughter felt neglected in this moment. "You ok?" he mumbled softly at Ben's mouth.  
Ben answered with a short nod of his head: that question had fallen so often from Callum's mouth in recent days, that he couldn't just lip read it, but feel it too.

Callum received the response with a soft, calming smile, moving his hand to cradle tenderly, yet securely, at the nape of Ben's neck, while turning his verbal attention to the little girl directly. "Hear you've been in the wars Little Miss?" As he spoke, hr ensured his thumb traced soothing reassurances to Ben's skin.

"But I'm bein' ever so brave..." Lexi came back with a level of sass of which only her father could be equally capable. "Did you hear what happened Callum?"  
"Yeah, I did..." he continued trying to downplay the incident. "D'yra know though, I think Uncle Jay might be about to order pineapple on those pizzas, so ya might wanna..." He didn't even need to plant the remainder of the suggestion, as the little girl shot from her seat towards the kitchen.

Callum & Ben both silently watched her flight, until the latter finally ventured to ask. "Where's the fire?"  
Callum grinned & settled himself into the now vacant spot beside his boyfriend. "Told her Jay's orderin' pizzas with pineapple on..." he declared triumphantly, yet deliberately enough to ensure his boyfriend caught his meaning.  
Ben gave a nod of understanding, but offered nothing further.

Able to sense his man's obvious unease, Callum gently lifted fingers to his chin, then angled his face to look at him. "Not your fault..." he spoke firmly, alluding to the events of the day.

Ben wished he could accept that assertion, but still felt absolute guilt that his daughter had been injured. He settled on looking away from his boyfriend once more, knowing they didn't stand a cat in hell's chance of a conversation around the subject.

Callum's brow furrowed in consternation at the realisation his man was struggling, & that spoken words would fall short, while physical contact was being shied away from. He slipped his phone from his pocket & tapped out a message, sending it to Ben & watching on quietly as his boyfriend read it.

_In a heartbeat baby..._

It had become a stock phrase in recent days: a reminder that whatever happened, Callum still wanted & desired after his man, & that nothing would change that. He saw Ben's features relent from their sadness a little at the reminder.  
"Get your mind out the gutter babe; this is meant to be a family evenin'..." The briefest smile of amusement radiated at Ben's face as he spoke.

They shared an easy moment between them then: softened eyes transmitting messages unspoken; Ben even leaning in to exchange a pecked kiss between lips.

The moment broke up though as Lola entered the room, taking up position at the far end of the sofa. "Right then, what we watchin'? You gonna do the honours Callum?" She tossed the TV remote in the man's direction; he caught it one-handed with minimum effort.

Ben exhaled a regretful sigh as he shuffled his position back to facing the television, which was just brightening into life. As Callum fiddled with scrolling through the menu of available films, he lay his right arm to rest on Ben's left shoulder, hand hanging down gently against his chest. Ever protective of, & present for, his man.


	270. Chapter 270

## Actual scene of 06/03/20 merging into unseen scene

The challenge of keeping Ben involved & engaged was rapidly becoming apparent to Callum as he continued to scroll through the film options: Ben to his immediate right, Lola a short distance to his left. All three of them sat in a row on the sofa meant there was an immediate logistical difficulty: Ben could neither hear nor see the words being spoken as they weren't facing each other.

As Lola & Callum mock argued their reasoning for why they weren't watching one film or another, Callum cast continual anxious looks across to Ben, trying to sense what, if any, of the banter he was picking up. 

Absolutely none, it seemed.

While Lola continued to occupy his attention, Callum was hectically forming a revised formation in his mind: about to suggest he & Ben swap seats, so the younger man was at least a little closer to the heart of the action.

Any such plan was immediately thwarted though by the bundle of blonde hair that suddenly rushed toward him, complete with familiar pink unicorn in tow. 

As Lexi landed in his lap at full steam, Callum grimaced at the shot of pain that reverberated through his ribs: Lola instantly reminding her daughter to take more care around Callum's still healing injuries.

The physical pain was momentary, but the emotional concern remained, as Ben first queried what had taken place, then dismissed it with a "doesn’t matter" when he forlornly realised he couldn't pick out a word of his boyfriend's explanation.

Callum swiftly felt himself between a rock & hard place, being as he was in his usual position of trying to please everyone. He was equally chastising himself that, as Lexi had just pointed out, nobody had thought to switch the subtitles on for Ben.

_Must try harder,_ Callum reminded himself, as Jay entered the room with pizzas in hand. 

"Will ya get me a drink?" Ben asked of him quietly.  
"What, yer legs packed up now too?" Callum tried to quip back, in the spirit of encouragement he'd just set himself, but instantly realised his words had been ill-received by the other man.

While Lola made the offer of retrieving the drink for Ben, Lexi homed in on the pizza boxes, & Jay offered Callum a sympathetic smile, before retreating from the room as well.

Callum placed a hand to Ben's thigh & gave a gentle squeeze in understanding of his man's apparent exasperation. Reluctantly, Ben looked first at his boyfriend’s hand, then across at the man himself.

"Alright?" Callum voiced the enquiry barely at a whisper, to ensure it wasn't heard by Lexi, concentrating more instead on shaping the word soundly about his lips.  
"Tired, that's all..." Ben gave back, clearly disgruntled.  
"Pizza's up..." Callum attempted to enthuse, reinforcing the words by pointing across to where Lexi was perusing the contents of each of the boxes in turn.  
"Ain't hungry," Ben simply shrugged.

Callum gave a moment's thought before responding, as evidenced by the slow draw of his tongue along his lower lip. "Ok..." he then simply accepted his boyfriend's word without challenging it. There were times to push & times not to; right now definitely fell into the latter category.

As Lola & Jay momentarily made their return to the room, passing Ben's requested drink in his direction, Callum simply stated a quiet assertion. "You guys tuck in; neither me or Ben are that hungry at the moment".

"Ya sure?" Jay greeted the suggestion uncertainly.  
"Yeah," Callum smiled. "Carry on without us; we'll take a chance on there bein' leftovers later..."

Ben didn't seem to take any interest in following the exchange, taking a long swig from his drink. As the others busied themselves with selecting from the array of pizza on offer, Callum simply shuffled his weight a little closer to Ben, sank down into the sofa, & let his head drop to lean unassumingly against the man's shoulder.

Ben didn't fully comprehend the act of solidarity Callum was showing him, given the entire exchange about neither of them being hungry had washed over his head, but he appreciated the physical closeness, so let his head drift down to prop itself similarly against his boyfriend's.  



	271. Chapter 271

## Unseen scene of 06/03/20

As the end credits of the film rolled, Callum glanced across to look at Ben, who had remained uncharacteristically quiet throughout the movie. It was normal practice when they watched a film for Ben to at the very least cast an opinion as to how hot the lead actor was, & more often than not pick apart each & every one of the plot’s flaws.

This time though he seemed barely cognisant that the film was over, let alone what had actually taken place in it. Although his eyes were open, there was a glaze across them, & an unfamiliar, unsettling even, stillness contained within them.

A frown began to furrow along Callum’s brow as he considered just how unsatisfactory all of this was: Ben, increasingly aloof from his family & loved ones, beating himself up for failings that just weren’t his; Jay & Lola, tiptoeing around, trying to keep a brave face on things for Lexi’s sake.

He sensed a movement from Jay in the chair across the room, so looked across, finding himself in receipt of a consoling smile, before Jay nodded his head in the direction of Lexi, who was fast asleep leant into her mother’s side.

Callum returned the nod in appreciation, suddenly clear on an approach with Ben he could take. Placing tender fingertips to Ben’s thigh, he drummed them lightly against the man’s leg, distracting him softly from his seclusion. Ben roused steadily, first looking down at Callum’s hand, then across at him, apparently understanding his boyfriend was trying to draw his attention to something.

Callum greeted his boyfriend’s return to awareness with a soft smile, then silently invited his eyes to fall to the figure of his slumbering daughter. 

Ben gratefully seized on what was being suggested to him as a get-out option. “I’ll put littl’un to bed...” As he pressed his weight upwards from the chair, he entertained Callum’s fingers tickling softly against his palm, before stepping across in front of the sofa to scoop his daughter into his arms.

"He's still strugglin', ain't he?" Lola observed forlornly as Ben left the room. "I'd really hoped this movie night might lift his spirits a bit..."  
Callum conceded a nod of kind understanding. "I'm sure it does help him, deep down: knowin' there's so many people here who care about him".

Jay undertook an exaggerated stretch of his limbs. "Listen mate, why don't me & Lo make ourselves scarce? Give the two of ya a bit of time alone?"  
"I'd appreciate that," Callum smiled in return.  
"Well I'll just clear up this mess first..." Lola gestured to the debris of boxes & leftover pizza that remained.  
"Nah, you're alright," Callum intervened. "I'll clear it up: might see if I can talk Ben into eatin' a bit of it first..."

"You're a good man Callum," Lola beamed, squeezing a hand to his shoulder.  
"Yeah, good on ya mate..." Jay too affirmed, before they slipped their way from the room & off up the stairs.

Callum sat quietly for a moment, looking about himself, as if considering his options, before decisively switching off the television & combining the various remaining slices of pizza into just one box.

With a bustling sense of purpose, he stacked the empty boxes beneath one arm & took them out to the back yard, discarding them diligently among the other recycling. On returning into the house, he took care to lock the door behind him, grabbed the leftover pizza in its box, switched the lights off & ventured upstairs.

He glanced into Lexi's room on the way past, illuminated softly by the pink night light she insisted remain lit through the night, but noting Ben wasn't there. Callum softly pulled her bedroom door to, then continued on to Ben's room, which was in darkness. Slowly, tentatively, Callum eased the door open, letting in beams of light from the landing.

Ben presumably sensed his presence, shifting his head on the pillow as he lay on the bed, to look across at Callum in the doorway. "Alright?" he conjured up his standard greeting, giving nothing of his mindset away. When Ben casually asked you if you were alright, it could be the precursor to being completely ignored, outrageously flirted with, or jumped on for sex. You just never knew.

Callum gave him an easy smile & walked unassumingly into the room, closing the door firmly behind him. "Hungry?"  
Ben gave a minor shake of his head to indicate he hadn't caught the question.  
"Hungry?" Callum simply repeated, holding the pizza box up as an offering.

A non-committal shrug of shoulders came back from Ben in return.  
"Well I'm bloody famished..." Callum kicked the shoes from his feet & collapsed down on the bed, pizza box falling onto his lap.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." Ben raised his arms in disgust. "Ya seriously think you're eatin' pizza in my bed?"  
Callum grinned across at him as he fumbled his way into the box. "Sure am..."

"You are unbelievable..." Ben grumbled, pushing his weight up from its slumber to prop himself against the headboard with the pillows.  
"Thanks..." Callum beamed mischievously, treating his boyfriend's words in a manner more customary to how Ben would. "Want some?" 

Selecting a slice of pizza, Callum held it up to Ben's mouth, & watched on with a warm smile as the younger man first shook his head disapprovingly, then chomped down to snatch half of the slice in one.


	272. Chapter 272

## Unseen scene of 07/03/20

They'd traded languid, lazy kisses through much of the night, interspersed by bouts of sleep, when Ben made a further admission. "Thing is, when it's you & me, like this, I can cope. I can read yer lips, understand yer meanin'. Throw more people into the mix though, & I'm lost..."

The light of the bedside lamp cast their faces in illumination, even though the remainder of their entangled bodies were consumed in the dark of the night. Callum caressed a soothing thumb at Ben's temple, in appreciation of his honesty. "Watchin' that film together was meant to be somethin' good for us all, but I can see now why ya struggled..."

Ben took time as always to interpret the words, regardless of Callum's care & attention over issuing them, but got there in the end, giving a nod of firm understanding. And maybe even acceptance. "I hate..." he began, then stopped, to blink away the unexpected well of emotion in his eyes.  
"Go on..." Callum encouraged softly, unfalteringly.

"I hate that I can't lie there on the sofa in yer arms, ratin' the totty in the film outta ten, or have Lex sprawled into me, chitchattin' away about everythin' & nothin' when we're watchin' a film..." He sniffed back another wave of emotion. "I can't do none of it now I can't hear what yer sayin'..."

Callum was adamant there had to be a way. "We can still rate the totty..." he corrected defiantly. "I can give you my scores without ever sayin' a word..."  
Ben looked unconvinced, as if the essence of their familiar mid-movie scoring system was already irrevocably lost.  
"Go on..." Callum grinned back enthusiastically, regardless of the lateness of hour. "You name me a film star, & I'll give ya my score..."

Ben turned over onto his back, emitting a heavy sigh as his head hit the pillow. He wriggled his lower legs so his feet were still nestled between his man's calves, then volunteered a name reluctantly: "Tom Hardy".

Callum repositioned himself so he was leaning into Ben's side, then gently rested his hand at his boyfriend's chest to tap out a six-beat rhythm.  
Ben had understood what he was doing instantly, absorbing the tap of fingers to receive the score his man was dishing out. "A six ya reckon, eh?" He chuckled in indication of impending mischief. "I'd give him one, any day..." He gave the quirk of an eyebrow to show he was messing, then gave another nomination. "Chris Hemsworth"

Callum again tapped out an answer at Ben's chestbone.  
"A four?" the younger man then queried in disbelief. "He'a a buff seven, make no mistake. What ever's ya issue with him?"

Callum gave a shrug of his shoulders as he looked across the pillow at his man. "Just ain't my type..."  
"Oh?" Ben rolled onto his side so they were face-to-face in close proximity. "And what exactly is your type?""

Callum grumbled at the quite obvious play for a compliment, but decided to deliver it anyhow. "Glinty eyes that are just a little bit intense; the faintest hint of some carefully-crafted stubble; & a pert, sexy bum that gets flaunted in slightly over-tight trousers on occasion..." He grinned as he watched the dawning realisation of what he'd said emerge across his boyfriend's features.

"Smooth talker...." Ben beamed back so bright that Callum wasn't even sure they needed the light of the lamp any more. "So..." he then ventured to continue, stroking fingers slowly against the hairs on his man's forearm. "What would ya score be for Ben Mitchell?"  
"He ain't a film star..." Callum tried to protest.  
"True..." Ben agreed at a whisper. "Unless we're countin' that porn movie I was once in..."

The words were delivered with such understated honesty that Callum had no cause to disbelieve them, his mouth falling open in visible shock.  
Ben just gave him a look that marvelled as to how gullible his man was.

"Yer havin' me on, ain't ya?" Callum playfully batted the other man's hand away.  
"Yes I'm havin' ya on Callum," Ben affirmed. "Got ya thinkin' for a moment there though, didn't it?"  
"You're a dick..." the elder man bemoaned, although with obvious fondness.  
"I am," Ben nodded his agreement. "But I'm your dick...Now..." the impish smile of before again played at his lips. "What score do I get babe..."

Callum gave back a devilish smile of his own. "Your score? Well it's off the charts, & I would most definitely give you one..."


	273. Chapter 273

## Unseen scene of 07/03/20

Callum stared up at the ceiling as the first shadows formed across it from the breaking dawn outside. Sleep had come easily for Ben after they'd idled away the deepest hours of the night with playful chit chat, but not so for Callum. It wasn't a bother to him though, given it had meant he could watch over Ben, resting soundly beside him.

Ben had the manner of looking so at ease when he slept, even if the terror of waking to a sense of disorientation from his lack of hearing was never far at bay.

Callum knew that, not because Ben had said as much, but because he witnessed it often: felt the sudden tension in the man's bones, a moment's hesitation in himself, before he realised he was safe & could relax.

Callum couldn't imagine how hard that must be for Ben, but felt privileged he was playing a part in easing the fears of his newfound sense of vulnerability. If it was nurtured with care, Callum was even certain that it could be channelled into something more positive. He just needed Ben to see that.

An idea of how he could demonstrate that to Ben was starting to form in Callum's mind, so he reached carefully for his phone from the bedside cabinet, & typed a search into Google as to what he was looking for.

\- - -

Ben started to wake some time later to the warming sensation of Callum placing kisses to his neck, & smiled inwardly to himself that this was now becoming his wake-up routine.

Not that he wanted Callum to know he was waking, so he stayed motionless, as if still in slumber, & submerged himself into enjoying the sensation of each singular kiss.

It was a type of artistry really, Callum's ability to transmit such tender affection through the simplest of acts, & Ben often wondered how a man with so much love to give had starved himself for so long. 

Somewhere, tucked away deep in the chambers of his mind, the thought echoed around that just maybe similar could be said of himself too.

Ben was terrified by that notion, so swiftly deflected from it by submitting to something he felt more familiar & at ease with. "Ain't just me yer wakin' up with them hot kisses of yours babe..." he warned through the morning roughness of his voice.

As he felt the tickle of a hot breath of amusement wisp against his ear lobe, followed by the gentle grazing nip of Callum's teeth at his neck, Ben began to realise that had maybe been his boyfriend's intention all along.


	274. Chapter 274

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of genteel smut for this chapter.
> 
> I fear I am currently digging myself a plot hole that I might struggle to emerge from, but will try to push on regardless...There are some clues nestling away in this instalment as to where I'm taking the boys next...All of which is blamed entirely on Jay's throwaway comment to Lexi in the episode of 10/3 that Ben & Callum had gone out for the day...

## Unseen scene of 07/03/20

With anyone but Callum, Ben surmised as he allowed himself to be guided over onto his back, this would be troubling: in his man though he had total trust & faith, so he acquiesced without so much as a flinch.

Devoid of both hearing & sight, so still existing in his early morning haze, he had every right to be feeling at his most vulnerable, as Callum expertly slid his way atop him, but the steady peppering of warming kisses about Ben's person spoke solely of tenderness & affection.

Ben didn't need to see clearly, or hear words of reason, to know this was Callum proposing to take care of him, in whatever way that Ben needed or desired. 

With two of his senses so nulled, all Ben's focus fell on the touches granted by his man alone, as Callum's mouth continued to nuzzle softly at skin, & all the while a hand began to deftly creep its way south. 

"Good mornin' to you too, by the way..." Ben decided to wisecrack at the seduction in progress with a soft chuckle, causing Callum to stall his progress & seek out his boyfriend's lips with his own, instigating a lingering kiss between them.

At what seemed to be very much his own leisure, Callum then retreated a little; a soft smile forming on his face as he hovered over his man. "Mornin'..."

They moulded their way back into a kiss, Callum slipping his tongue against Ben's without effort, before the younger man reluctantly wriggled away. "You are rememberin' my little girl's just across the landin' yeah? And our little rule of no sex when she's around?"

Ben was rigid when it came to that particular scripture: determined to preserve his daughter's innocence, & safeguard her the sort of upbringing he himself never had. He let her see positive, true affection whenever he could, but was insistent on shielding her from this, his reality.

Callum though, wasn't convinced this even constituted sex; just an affirming welcome to their shared presence together in a new day. He slowly drew his hand down Ben's torso, tickled gentle fingers against his stomach, then swooped lower still to coax his palm at the contents of his boyfriend's boxers.

As Ben looked likely to voice further cautionary protest, Callum chased his way back onto his lips to silence him, while his hand delved stealth-like into the shorts to release Ben from their constraint. Delivering a devastatingly slow stroke to the already increasingly attentive manhood, Callum smiled knowingly at the transmitting shudder of arousal that unleashed through Ben beneath him.

"You're a very bad man, Mr Highway..." Ben sighed out, his reluctance already fading fast. "But a very, very good man at the same time..." As if granting himself the consent to relax & be taken, just as much as he was giving agreement for Callum to continue, he tipped his head back into his pillow & exhaled a long breath of satisfaction.

Callum acted instantly on the now ready exposure of Ben's neck, giving attention to his Adam's apple with his lips, while his hand worked to a rhythm below that was flicking, twisting & turning. At any time Ben made anything louder than a breathy sound of pleasure, Callum's lips found their way back to his man's, smothering the moans & groans into a kiss between them.

Ben wasn't ever likely to last long with this level of attention lavished upon him, so he came in a juddering climax that left him seeing glistening stars as Callum's mouth absorbed his accompanying vocals.

As Ben drifted slowly back to earth from his high, Callum continued to kiss him softly, slowly, as if giving the breath back to his boyfriend that he'd lost in his stuttering release. Only when he was sure his man was fully back with him, did Callum give the now familiar tap to the bridge of his nose, then carefully guide his glasses onto his face. 

"Well," Ben greeted his own ability to now fully see with a soft smile. "That's quite some wake-up call you've mastered there babe..."  
Callum responded with a coy smile himself, then rolled gingerly off his boyfriend to lie back against the pillows.  
Ben, remorseful of the sudden lack of contact, followed on after him, tucking tight into his man's side. 

Callum's fingers found their way instinctively to the other man's locks, fiddling their way systematically through it. After a short while of their shared peace, he tapped his fingers to Ben's scalp in request for the man to look up at him.

"What ya got planned for Tuesday?" he enquired unassumingly, once Ben's gaze was locked onto his face.  
Ben winced his dissatisfaction & gave a shrug. "Mostly tryin' not to inflict any more injuries on my little girl I guess..."

Callum cradled a hand reassuringly to the man's cheek, in reiteration that nothing that had happened the day before was Ben's fault. "Wanna take you somewhere..." he simply elaborated with a warm smile.

Ben considered the suggestion for a moment. "Reckon you have just taken me somewhere babe..." he teased with a knowing smirk.  
"Not like that!" Callum chastised, putting added emphasis on the first word. "I wanna take you out for the day..."

Ben again looked thoughtful, as he studied his man's face earnestly. "What, like on a date?"  
"If that's what ya wanna call it, yeah..." Callum affirmed, tracing the pad of his thumb beneath his boyfriend's eye socket. "So, what d'ya reckon?"

Ben gave a whimsical smile that quickly spread into something more mischievous as he crawled his way up along his man's torso. "I say yes..." he beamed wickedly, then began to repeat his acceptance in the manner of something near orgasmic. "Yes...yes...yes...yes...."

Callum gave a mock disapproving shake of his head at his boyfriend's antics, even though unable to resist a chuckle at them, & surged forward to silence him just as before with a kiss.


	275. Chapter 275

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still digging that inescapable plot hole for myself - when will I ever learn it's enough just keeping up with canon, let alone going off piste?

## Unseen scene of 10/03/20

"So you've brought me to what, a cinema?" Ben queried, part perplexed, part miffed: when Callum had expressed the wish to take him on a date, Ben had to admit he'd had a gesture bigger than a late morning film showing in mind.  
"Not a cinema exactly, no..." Callum smiled mysteriously.

"Babe..." Ben protested keenly as he took a seat in one of the comfy looking chairs that looked suspiciously like cinema recliners to him. "If it walks like a duck, & quacks like a duck, then it generally is a duck in my experience..." He picked in an idle manner at the fabric seam on the arm of his chair as he gave his deliberation.  
It was Callum's turn to look confused as he wriggled out of the coat on his back. "What ya even talkin' about ducks for?"

Ben gave his man an appeasing smile as he watched him settle in the chair next to him, enjoying the regular normality of their interaction. True, Callum always made sure to speak slow & deliberate, but they were out together in public, doing something as a couple that wasn't dominated for once by his own hearing loss.

"So, what is this place then, if it ain't a cinema?" Ben returned to his previous line of questioning.  
"Have a little patience will ya?" Callum suggested in turn. "You'll see soon enough..."

Ben scowled a fraction at the realisation he wasn't getting his way. "You do realise patience ain't exactly a trait of us Mitchells, yeah?"  
Callum wouldn't be deterred though, just slipping a hand to Ben's thigh & resting his palm against it lightly.

Knowing then he wasn't going to get any cooperation from his boyfriend, Ben decided to do his own bit of sleuthing, looking around their surroundings for some sort of clue as to where they were, or what they were here for.

The space they were in was large, almost exactly as a cinema auditorium would be, although Ben had to admit to himself there was no screen in evidence. The room was slowly filling up with people milling to their seats: a family group here, a doting couple there. What even looked like a school trip's worth of teenagers over at the furthest edge from them. _Unlikely to be anything x-rated then..._ Ben concluded solely to himself.

He felt a set of scornful eyes fixing themselves on him then; glancing away to his right to see an aging woman giving what he could only really translate as a look of distaste at the presence of Callum's hand on his thigh.

The instant tightening in his body must have transmitted straight to Callum in that moment, as the elder man stroked a calming thumb along his trousers, as a reminder not to be riled by the prejudices of others. 

Ben let his hand ghost its presence to lie on top of Callum's then, first looking down at their softly connecting digits, then across to his man with an affectionate smile.

As Callum returned the warmth with a fond smile of his own, he did so knowing that the one place in the room that Ben hadn't even considered looking was where he'd have found the answer to all the questions he'd been asking.


	276. Chapter 276

The dimming of the auditorium lights took Ben a little unawares in the end, given the announcement made through the public address was lost on him.  
Callum though had it all in hand, softly tapping a finger to his man's knee, then offering a pointing gesture upwards to the ceiling.

Ben was on the cusp of delivering a snappy enquiry of _what the fuck?_ back to his boyfriend, unnerved by his own limitations within this environment, when something glimmering above caught his eye.He looked above, just as Callum had suggested, then, & found a myriad constellation of stars reflected on the ceiling within an inky blue night's sky. He was captivated instantly, 

_Before the light can come, there is always darkness...._ A voice across the public address offered an opening gambit to its audience, or most of them, anyway, given Ben wouldn't have heard a word.  
Callum had heard loud & clear though, & fancied that might even be a metaphor for their current predicament.

_To enjoy the very best of this immersive experience, recline your seats & activate your headphones now...._

Callum was already fast realising that particular constant narrative, being delivered in a faux American accent, wasn't for him: not that he'd ever had any intention of listening through the headphones anyway - he'd experience this world with Ben through sight alone, instead.

The reclining seat option wasn't something he was prepared to miss though, so he ran a hand along the left-side of his chair, until he found the reclining mechanism. 

Now comfortably ensconced, he looked across to Ben, expecting to see some sort of outrage writ over his face that Callum was lounging away, but instead finding the younger man still absorbed in the vision above.

Callum circled a thumb gently against his boyfriend's hand, an unassuming signal that he had something to say, then waited for Ben to look at him, which he eventually did.

"Ok?" Callum mouthed, although knowing the shape of the word might be lost on Ben in the faded light, so reinforcing it with the international diving symbol that enquired exactly the same.

Ben gave a tiny shake of his head, that Callum first worried was disapproval or disappointment, but he soon re-evaluated as actually an expression of total joy & wonder. 

_Ben Mitchell actually silenced_, Callum smiled to himself: _would wonders ever cease?_ He could see questions in his boyfriend's eyes as to where why & how, but none of that mattered right now. There was one question alone on Callum's lips that he directed adoringly to his man. "Ya goin' feet up or feet down?"


	277. Chapter 277

Callum, although meant to be engrossed in the planetary show above them, could barely keep his eyes from Ben & his reactions of wonderment & anticipation. 

The colourful array, as projected high above, cast warming swirls of various shades across the man's face, which was little short of awestruck as he watched the dizzying, dazzling display. There was a radiating lightness to his features that Callum pondered he'd seen rarely, if ever, before. 

Ben had noticed his boyfriend's preoccupation despite the visual wonders above, so shifted in his seat to lean in & whisper. "Pricy trip out just to sit & watch me the whole time..."

Callum, caught out well & truly, emitted his own glowing blush, which Ben readily knew was a display of nervousness as to whether his surprise was being well-received or not.

"I love this, by the way..." Ben smiled his reassuring appreciation, then tilted the entire angle of his body so that he could rest his head at Callum's shoulder, then return his attentions fully upwards once more, not wanting to miss a thing.

Callum reciprocated instinctively, raising his arm to rest it against the back of Ben's chair, so the younger man could nestle in deeper still. They settled there then, as a journey through the planets unfolded above them: their eyes the only narrator that was needed.

Ben only stirred from his total captivation when the scene of a plethora of stars showed again; with, Callum guessed, an accompanying description for those listening to the headsets of the various different constellations in view: The Plough was abundantly clear, he mused, & he was fairly sure that away to their right was Orion.

"Make a wish..." Ben's breathy whisper caught him by surprise.  
"Hmm?" Callum looked down to glance his boyfriend gazing up at him expectantly.  
"Shootin' star babe..." Ben pointed upwards to the faux sky. "You gotta make a wish..."

Callum spied the star in question & knew there was only one thing he could wish for at present. He opened his mouth to speak, but found it firmly clamped shut by the abrupt press of Ben's palm against it.

"No don't tell me..." He instantly demanded, in a volume of speech suddenly louder than a whisper: not that anyone else would hear. "It won't come true if ya tell me what you wished for, or if I tell ya what I wished for..."

Explanation given, Ben returned to his fascination with what was above, leaving Callum to marvel in fond adoration.

The elder man's attention though was unwelcomingly drawn away by a loud, disapproving tut away to their right. Glancing over in the direction from which it had come, he noticed a scornful set of eyes trained upon him & Ben; the woman of advancing years who had earlier antagonised Ben with her outdated prejudice clearly not done yet.

Where Ben had his ways of dealing with such things, so Callum did too so, as he shuffled his weight a little lower into his seat & leant his head against Ben's, tipping a soft kiss to his man's hairline as part of the motion, he simultaneously lifted the hand of his right arm - still perched as it was at the back of Ben's chair - & saluted a demonstrative middle digit in the woman's direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He he, I couldn't resist that bit at the end - love a bit of Callum protecting his man, & as we're increasingly seeing of late, he does have a bit of a naughty side to him...


	278. Chapter 278

## Unseen scene of 10/03/20

They'd strolled along hand in hand for a while, each sucking their way through an ice lolly, when Callum nudged them in the direction of a vacant bench. "So..." he smiled once they'd taken a seat, looking across at his man expectantly. "What did ya think?"

Ben, nibbling a chunk away from his fruit-infused block of ice, smiled softly. "It was amazin' babe. Never seen anythin' as beautiful as all them colours. With the possible exception of when I get to see ya blush..."  
Right on cue, Callum's cheeks flushed a shade of deep crimson at the compliment. 

Ben leant gently forward & cupped his boyfriend's cheek with his hand, dragging the pad of his thumb slowly along the bone structure there. "Beautiful," he repeated wistfully. "Inside as well as out..."

He proffered a kiss between them: lips pressing sweetly against lips that were both stained by the remnant chill of their respective ice lollies. They lingered in the exclusivity of the moment for a while, each enjoying that they had nowhere else to be for once: content just to be in their own bubble as the wider world passed them by.

Ben though drifted away eventually, emitting a short cough that spoke of him trying to keep a grip on reality in what was increasingly feeling like a magical day. He stayed in close proximity to Callum, but leant his elbow on the back of the bench, & lightly rested his head against his hand. "How'd ya even know about that place anyway?"

Callum smiled fondly, adjusting his own weight so they were facing each other fully. "Always wanted to go to a planetarium when I was little: never got the chance..."  
Ben, sensing there was some regret there, squeezed a hand to his boyfriend's knee, & opted to alter the mood. "I ain't ever seen stars that shine so bright..."

Callum looked at him intently then, resisting the urge to comment that he did every single day he looked into Ben's sparkling eyes. "Light pollution ain't it?" He settled on instead with a shrug. "Always distorts the darkness of the sky 'ere in London: ya need to be out in the sticks to truly see the stars..."

"Yeah alright Professor Brian Cox..."Ben smirked out his amusement. "Since when've you been the font of all knowledge when it comes to stargazin'?"

"Since bein' camped out on Salisbury Plain for initial Army trainin' I s'pose..." Callum elaborated. "Two February nights with nothin' but basic rations & the fella you were paired with: we spent hours under the cover of a hedge, gazin' up at the stars..."

Ben followed every word of the explanation earnestly, both because he needed to lip read the words, & because this was the first time Callum had given up any snippet of his Army days. He knew he needed to tread carefully. "You keep in touch with that fella you was stargazin' with?" He sniffed out the enquiry casually.

"Did a tour of Helmand together..." Callum nodded thoughtfully.  
"Helmand?" Ben repeated to ensure his understanding, receiving a blink of confirmation back from his boyfriend. 

Ben blew out his cheeks in overwhelmed realisation. " I always forget you was there in Afghan...That you must've seen some things that are worlds apart from where we're sittin' now..."

The open invitation was left hanging in the air for Callum to make of that what he wanted: if he wanted to talk, Ben would listen - as best he could given his circumstances - & if Callum chose not to elaborate, that was fine too.

"That's kind of why I took ya there today..." Callum volunteered, leaving his boyfriend looking confused. "We're all under that same big sky; got them exact same stars watchin' over us...Ya never quite so alone as ya might sometimes think..."

It was Callum's turn to let the sentiment of his words settle between them: Ben receiving them with the kindness that was meant. Not so long ago he'd bristle at this level of devotion, but of late he was increasingly happy to submit to it. "Don't feel alone with you in my world, do I?" he admitted with an affectionate, if slightly shy, expression.

They gazed deeply, softly, into one another's eyes then, exchanging smiles that were all fondness & thoughts unspoken. It was Ben though, as ever, who stole himself from the intensity of feeling first.

He scratched at the corner of his eye. "Just think babe: we've gone three whole hours now & I ain't even cracked out the jokes about Uranus yet..."  
Callum just burst into a raucous laugh. "You are truly unbelievable, ya know that?"

Ben's eyes sparkled with mirth in return. "It's why ya love me though, ain't it?"  
"It is actually, yeah," the elder man agreed matter-of-factly, standing up, then holding out his hand to his boyfriend. "It's exactly why I love ya".

As Ben accepted his hand, & allowed himself to be pulled up, he gave a nod of contented approval, knowing privately those were words he hoped he'd find the courage to say back some time soon.


	279. Chapter 279

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is something new to the narrative, I think. Between 16th & 24th March there were many disparate scenes of the boys - although actually only split across 4 episodes - as in that first week began the lockdown rationing of canon episodes.
> 
> To write up those scenes & the links between them feels too big a job, so this is a chapter intended to bridge across them, & set the general tone for where I pick things up again.
> 
> There are many canon scenes of that time period well worth another watch - Callum being at the hospital with Ben for his appointment, & Callum showing up at Ben's meeting with Hardcastle to name but two - I feel there's little really I can add to any of them though without going back over old ground.
> 
> So it may be a controversial decision, but I'm giving them a miss. 
> 
> As we're now also heading into the point where canon episodes were airing on a delay to when they were initially scheduled to show, to clarify, I will be denoting episodes by their date of actual canon screening. 
> 
> This will obviously make date-stamped events - birthdays for instance - sit peculiarly in the narrative, so I am (sadly) likely to give them a swerve - save a rather important mention of Callum's birthday in the episode of 31st March 😍
> 
> This might all get a bit weird on timings & narrative strands for a bit, but hopefully it will still make sense & the rhythm will return in due course...Fingers firmly crossed...

## Bridging chapter between 10/03/20 $ 24/03/20

There were distinct stages of grief, Callum was increasingly coming to understand, starting with the initial numbing chill, & ending way down the line with a means of adapting to it, if never quite accepting it.

Ben, grieving not just the loss of his own hearing, but struggling still to deal with the demise of Dennis, was now ricocheting violently between the various interim stages of that grief.

Some days he was melancholy & introspective, struggling even to step foot from his bed: others he was near manic, over-compensating for the intrinsic sadness he was enduring. 

Increasingly though, & perhaps most worrying of all, he was hellbent on proving himself - to whom exactly, Calum wasn't actually sure - & beginning to take increasingly reckless means in achieving that aim.

Fingers were teetering over a switch of self-destruction, with Ben starting to reacquaint with criminal connections from his past.

A time bomb was ticking, & Callum could sense it: he just didn't know, as yet, it was his own, just as much as it was Ben's.


	280. Chapter 280

## Interpretation of scene of 24/03/20

_"What about me?"_

Callum had surprised even himself with that line. Here he was, the man who always tended to put others' happiness before that of his own, & had on most occasions been seen as a shrinking violet in the face of others' more dramatic protestations.

When it really mattered though, he pressed back: And Ben to him mattered: really, truly mattered.

He had quietly watched the man he loved in freefall for days: following through on unnecessary, obnoxious spats; taking impetuous actions & risks; lashing out with blame for anyone but himself. That he'd been arrested was the final straw, when in combination with accompanying word of dubious deeds with a passing stranger. 

For Callum enough was enough, & he'd pushed forward into the Mitchell kitchen in expectation of finding Ben apologetic & contrite: he’d found neither characteristic though; instead finding Ben to be shut down, verging on antagonistic, as he goaded impetuously. "Go on then: do ya worst..."

That had riled a spirit deep within Callum, he had to admit: a fire coming out in him as rarely before. He'd moved his way with purpose towards Ben, then uttered the phrase. "I don't wanna do this anymore". Steely grit & determination alone had seen him through each word

Ben had instantly capitulated: stunned at the response as he'd chased after his retreating man, grabbing & pawing for any semblance at which he could grab.  
"I cannot give you any more...." Callum though had turned to reiterate forcefully, emotion already welling at his eyes. "And I am so sick & tired of havin' to take a back seat all the time...."

The emotion had begun to freely flow by that point, as Ben struggled to keep up with the haste & remorse of the words being spoken.

"I should've been focused on my assessment today, & the whole time I am sat there worryin' about you..." Callum's arms began to flail as he tried to express his inner turmoil. "Let alone this..." By now it was just a stream of consciousness trembling from his mouth. "Would you do the same Ben? Do I even cross your mind?"

Ben had both struggled to catch up with the words, let alone their cutting sentiment, before Callum answered the question himself. "No, because...because you're too busy , what, nickin' a car & goin' out joyridin' with some..."

Callum, in fairness, had lost track of the words stumbling forth from his lips by that point, only again becoming aware of his flow as Ben tried to appear apologetic, regretful, before him. "No..." the elder had interjected at sudden full volume though: too within his mind to stop. "Am I that much of a soft touch to you? Just because I'm a bit nice, doesn't give you the right to walk all over me..." It was then Callum had uttered, no actually shouted, the immortal words into Ben's face:  
"What  
About  
Me?"

With a look returned by Ben of total confusion, Callum had repeated the question at force again: "What about me?"


	281. Chapter 281

## Character perspectives of actual scene of 24/03/20

_"Stop tryin' to make yaself feel better by makin' everyone else feel worse..."_

Those words from Callum really stung at Ben for so many reasons. This had been the scenario he'd forever been trying to avoid after all: protecting Callum from his reality instead of dragging him down into it.

They stung even more though because in no way did Ben actually feel better. Callum, having hit upon the realisation of his selfishness was ready to walk away, & Ben knew he had nobody but himself to blame for that fact.

The incessant ringing in Ben's ears hit a screeching pitch that was too great to bear, so he dropped his head into his hands & braced against the sensation. Sobs of apology began to tumble from within as he felt close to collapse, the weight of the worktop he had stumbled backwards into the only thing keeping him up.

Callum had heard all the apologies in the world for the impetuous actions of others, who only came to regret them once they were caught out or ambushed. That wasn't what he wanted for his life any more though, so with drooped shoulders, he began to turn away. As he did, he thought he could hear Ben chastising himself as an idiot through his pained cries.

The sudden, violent slam of Ben's fist to the worktop again, again & again, stopped Callum in his tracks though, as he looked back with a mix of sorrow & concern in his eyes. Those weren't the actions of a man seeking attention or to gain the upper hand, Callum instantly knew, but the signs of someone breaking down before him. The bottleneck pressure of the last few weeks suddenly exploding before him.

"I'm sorry for everythin'..." Ben whimpered out: determined that he owed Callum that much of an apology at the very least before the man walked away for good: for something better. People had always taunted that they were the odd couple & that Callum was too good for him: now they finally had their proof.

"I'm sorry..." Ben managed one last time, as he bent down, doubled over to hide away beneath his coat: he already couldn't hear, so if he couldn't watch Callum leave either, he might just continue to kid himself this wasn't really happening.

He felt he was stranded there for time indeterminable, hands clasped to his ears as he wished for something, anything, to take the pain away.

To find it was the gentle splayed touch of Callum's hand to the back of his head that was offering that much-needed relief was more than Ben could ever believe, yet alone understand. He unfolded himself into the generosity being offered though, then began to unfurl in the safe hold of Callum's arms, while he fell apart within them.


	282. Chapter 282

## Unseen scene of 24/03/20

Callum continued to cradle Ben’s head to his collarbone as the younger man sobbed against him through near panicky breaths; fingers clinging at his shirt for dear life. In truth, Callum had no idea what had just happened, let alone where they went from here. One minute he was telling Ben it was over, that he simply couldn’t give him anymore; the next, he had watched the man he loved crumple before him, wrenching Callum’s own heart from his chest in the process, & leaving him powerless to do anything but go to Ben & hold him. 

The man he loved had just disintegrated into a frightened, lonely boy before Callum’s very eyes, & as he held him now, Callum could only envisage him as little older than Ben’s younger brother they were due to be burying in hours. Why it had taken Callum himself to have to point out to Ben’s blood relatives that this man was struggling to cope with Dennis’s death though remained beyond him.

There were greater concerns now though: the increasing tendency towards self-harm Ben was showing. Callum had long known the man to be capable of this sort of downward spiral, but until now had only really seen him dish out emotional punishment to himself: putting himself in outlandishly risky situations; belittling himself; lining himself up for inevitable failures. But now Ben had just smashed his hand repeatedly into the worktop in sheer frustration & total inability to communicate.

Callum knew that feeling all too well: he had been there himself less than a year ago, after all: beer bottle in hand while sat on a playground swing, desperate to distract himself from his sense of inner turmoil…

“I’m sorry…” Ben’s tone of desperation was thinly muffled by the fact he was talking into Callum’s shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”  
Callum dropped his head to the shorter man’s, & nestled his face into his hair, still not knowing what he could do, what he could say, to take some of the pain away for the man he loved. 

Occasional words of comfort tumbled from his lips, but he knew they were in vain given Ben’s hearing loss. He just hoped the warm sensation of him speaking, or the vibration of his voice box, carried through to the other man in some small, insignificant way. 

Callum felt Ben swallow down hard against him, then the slow, reluctant press of palms to his chest as the younger man eased himself backwards; his hands forming almost immediately back into fists that tugged at Callum’s shirt, desperate to maintain a semblance of grounding contact between them. “Forgive me, please…” he pleaded, with eyes reddened by tears. “Just please tell me you’ll forgive me…”

Callum glanced down at the fist of his man’s right hand, & moved his own hand to gently reach for it, guiding it away from where it lay at his chest, to open it flat & survey the self-inflicted damage Ben had just caused to it. The healing had to start somewhere he supposed, & right now the physical scars were the easiest to attend to. 

With an obvious sense of tenderness, he dealt a soft kiss to Ben’s afflicted hand, which was already showing an angry reaction of vivid reds & blues. “Let me fix you…” Callum implored slowly & softly, looking directly into the other man’s eyes.

Ben opened his mouth, his immediate reaction being to bristle against Callum’s lack of direct response to the question he’d asked, but he promptly clamped it shut again. He’d asked so much of this man lately already; maybe this time he should trust the answer would come from Callum when he was good & ready.


	283. Chapter 283

"Will ya stay?" Ben asked the question in the manner of a child broken, as he sat on the edge of the bed & watched Callum at his feet, slipping the shoes carefully from them.  
With the footwear then stowed neatly to the side, Callum turned his attention to sliding the coat from Ben's shoulders. "I'll stay a bit to see ya settled, but you need to get some sleep..."

The words _before tomorrow_ were intentionally excluded from the end of Callum's sentence: they both knew the day of Dennis's funeral was looming large on the horizon. Maybe that fact was the overbearing catalyst for recent behaviours. 

"I'll put this all in the wash, yeah?" There was a semblance of autopilot mechanism to Callum as he unbuttoned the collar of his boyfriend's t-shirt. The clothes all tainted in his mind by the stale pungence of a police cell, & the festering suggestion of another man.

"Cheers," Ben acknowledged the offer with bashful acceptance, wanting to reach out for his man, but knowing he'd forfeited any such right in the hours preceding. 

Callum stood up & away then, tugging the shirt over Ben's head while he moved. "Reckon you can manage gettin' them trousers off on yer own?"

Ben gave back a look that spoke of instant innuendo, but he soon tempered it, knowing that nothing felt right about the moment or time. He gave a short nod of confirmation & set to his task, while Callum tossed the shirt onto the nearby chair, then busied his hands with hanging his boyfriend's coat tidily away.

Ben slid his trousers & boxers from his body in one deft move, then fumbled behind his pillow for some night time attire of loose joggers & a t-shirt.

"I didn't..." he paused to cough & gather greater conviction into his voice as he shuffled himself into the joggers. "That guy...I didn't...I wouldn't..."

He observed closely as Callum's hand visibly stalled part way through hanging the coat away in the wardrobe. "I wouldn't ever," Ben reiterated, softer this time. "Not to you..."

The tight sighing inhalation of air into Callum's body seemed almost transparent, as the man paused to take a much-needed steadying breath. While Ben had been summoning up his contrition, Callum's gaze had alighted on his boyfriend's funeral suit, all pristine & hung with care ready for the next day, complete with black silk tie.

Callum turned slowly, mindful suddenly that there were bigger matters at play than their present spat. He gave out a long sigh, then accepted the assertion. "I know ya wouldn't. We just need to put today behind us ok, & focus on tomorrow..."

He'd moved quietly over to the bed while he'd been speaking, & was now pulling the covers back in indication that Ben should clamber in.  
Ben did as guided without question, then caught hold of Callum's hand as the other man sought to tuck him gently in. "Stay?" he repeated the plea, this time with earnest eyes that silently implored.

Callum thought through what was being asked of him, then gave the slightest nod of agreement. "I'll stay 'til ya get to sleep..." He kicked the shoes from his feet, then settled himself atop the bed covers, with back pressed against the headboard.

Ben seemed to accept that was the best he could hope for given current circumstances, nestling his head down into the pillow & exhaling a breathy sigh of relief. "Thank you..." he whispered out on the escaping breath.

Callum relented then, relocating a hand to tussle its fingers lightly through his man's hair, recognising it was a moment's respite maybe they somehow both needed, albeit it in very different ways.


	284. Chapter 284

## Unseen scene of 24/03/20

Callum pulled the bedroom door softly closed behind him, shuffled his feet into his shoes, then crept his way downstairs toward where a light was on in the kitchen.

"Alright mate?" Jay, seated there at the table, greeted his emergence. "Thought ya must be kickin' about somewhere as I was pretty certain that's yer rucksack..." He pointed in the vague direction of Callum's long-since discarded bag. "His lordship 'ere too?"

"He's, er..." Callum wasn't entirely sure how best to answer that question, treading the fine line of keeping Ben's struggles between them, while letting those closest around him know he needed their support. He scratched irritably at a protruding patch of stubble. "He's just dropped off upstairs: reckon he's gonna need all his energy to get through tomorrow..."

Jay seemed to understand that sentiment: his brow contorting into a frown. "He ain't gonna find it easy, that's for sure..."

A realisation hit Callum then: he'd been so preoccupied with Ben's woes that he hadn't given it a moment of thought thus far. "Ain't exactly gonna be an easy one for you either. You holdin' it together ok?"

Jay tipped the head of the beer bottle in front of him. "Just havin' the one to take the edge off if ya fancy joinin'?"

Callum gave a consoling nod, shrugging himself out of the coat he'd been wearing ever since his entry to the house several hours earlier, grabbing his own bottle from the fridge, knocking its lid loose against the worktop edge, & taking a seat beside the other man. "To Dennis..." he suggested with a chink of his bottle against Jay's. 

"To Dennis..." Jay affirmed sombrely, leading both men to take a long, contemplative swig.

"The funerals for kids are always the worst, ain't they?" Callum offered in companionship after a few moments of silence.   
"Yeah. Yeah they are..." Jay agreed sadly. "Don't think they'll ever get any easier to be fair mate..."

"Well ya know I'll be close by if ya need some back up..." Callum ventured to offer in support.  
"Thanks for the thought," Jay smiled his appreciation. "But reckon we both know yer gonna have ya hands full lookin' out for Ben tomorrow..."

Callum could hardly deny that assertion, his mind wandering back to his troubled boyfriend sleeping upstairs. "He ain't really copin' that well at the moment..." he admitted pensively. "Tomorrow could go one of a few ways..."

Jay nodded out his sage agreement, but offered no further comment on the matter. "Ya stoppin' here tonight?" he instead enquired.

'I reckon not..." Callum shrugged against the urge to stay close by his man. "Think he'll do better with a bit of breathin' space tonight. What about you?"

"Yeah," Jay sighed heavily. "Me & Lo 'ave done a switch for the night. She's stoppin' at Billy's with Lex while I stop 'ere...We reckoned the least Lexi sees of the funeral & its build up the better..."

Callum wasn't exactly about to refute that thought. "Probably for the best in the long run, eh? Me, I'm just plannin' on makin' it to my bed before Stu realises I'm home, & co-opts me into shinin' his shoes for 'im..."

Jay spat out a laugh if amusement through his beer. "In which case you'd better get goin'..."  
"I know, right..." Callum chuckled out his equal amusement. "A grown man & he can't even put a shine on his own shoes..."

He drummed his fingers impatiently against his beer bottle then, as if running something through his mind while he stared at his rucksack to one side of the room. "I'll just go check Ben's alright, leave somethin' with 'im, then head home for the night..."


	285. Chapter 285

## Unseen scene of 24/03/20

Callum had lay listless & restless for what he felt had been a lifetime, but in reality was little more than one solitary hour. 

When Ben had asked if he'd stay, it hadn't ever occurred to Callum that might be a resolution he himself needed just so much as his boyfriend did. He'd presumed it to be another need from Ben, designed solely to self-serve: in reality though maybe it had been an olive branch extended. The affirmation that they were better off healing the divide that had been driven between them together rather than apart.

They hadn't spent a night alone since the ending of Callum's kidnap ordeal, & this now self-imposed exile was starting to feel torturous & wrong.

He swung his weary limbs out from the bed & shuffled his way out into the kitchen in search of something to enliven his senses a little: senses that if had been operating fully would have warned him as to what he was walking in on.  
"Alright there Bruv?" Stuart greeted him cheerily. "Didn't know ya was in: Benny Boy in there with ya too is he?"

Callum absorbed the inquisition akin to someone with a hangover, as he realised his brother was mid-task of buffing his shoes. "Nah, he's over at 'is tonight..." he scrubbed wearily at his face. "Takin' some family time before tomorrow..."

It wasn't strictly true of course, but sounded better than _ Nah, he got arrested today for stealin' the motor of some punter he thought about hookin' up with. Me & 'im 'ave had a blazin' disagreement about it, before I tucked 'im up in bed to sleep the effects off..._

It sounded pathetic to Callum's own ears, but how could he truly explain events that weren't even yet clear in his own mind? He wasn't the passive doormat that account of his actions made him out to be: Ben neither was the calculating cheat it made him sound. Circumstances were extenuating: nothing was ever quite so black & white.

"You want a coffee?" Callum settled on avoiding the entire topic. "I'm havin' one..."  
"Better not, unless you fancy me bouncin' off the walls all night long..." Stuart flashed a grin of thanks.

Callum gave a shrug of his shoulders that suggested 'whatever', then part filled the kettle from the tap: instant coffee would do at this time of the night instead of its percolated equivalent. "Rainie already in bed is she?' Mundane conversation had sudden appeal in the present.

"Oh yes," Stuart concurred while looking pensively at the shoe in his hand. "Always sleeps sounder than the dead we're due to be buryin' the next day on the night before a funeral..."  
Callum delivered his brother a disapproving scowl at that.  
"What?" Stuart exclaimed back in blissful ignorance, before realising his tone was all wrong given their client of the next day. "Sorry, sorry bruv: bit too close to 'ome for gallows humour, yeah?"

Callum relented then with a nod of his head. "Just go careful with what ya say around Ben tomorrow, yeah? He's fragile..."

A working silence settled between the two brothers then, as Stuart continued to toil over shining his shoes, while Callum finished off making his cup of coffee.  
"Seriously though Bruv..." Stuart piped up again just as Callum collapsed down on the sofa. "You've gotta let me in on your secret: how in all that's holy d'ya get yer shoes so shiny?"

Callum took a long inhale of breath, imbibing the rich scent of caffeine from his mug, deciding in that moment that Stuart was one irritation he really didn't need. "Leave them shoes on the side," he sighed reluctantly, "& take yerself off to bed. I'll make sure they've got a shine on 'em by mornin'..."

Stuart positively beamed at the offer. "You, little brother, are an absolute diamond..." He'd moved his way across the room to take Callum's head between his hands, then pucker an over-effusive kiss to his forehead.

"It's the last time I do it though Stu..." Callum tried to warn: his words lost on the air though as Stuart was already making a swift retreat to his bedroom. It didn't affront Callum to much though: anything to keep his hands & mind busy for a while, as he traversed what felt like the longest night of his life, & tried to rationalise for himself everything that had been.


	286. Chapter 286

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder that from this point forward, the date stamp of the chapters starts to appear at odds with the episode synchronisation - all down to that pesky Covid rationing of episodes.
> 
> So while this chapter is dated as 30th March - & therefore some 6 days on from the previous chapter of 24th March - is it actually portraying events of the very next day. I need to keep with actual canon episode dates for ease of reference for us all.

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben woke in the early hours to the kind of thrumming headache he most closely associated with a hangover, except this time he already knew that wasn't the case, even in his current haze.

He was perched up tight at the very edge of the bed, the aching twinge of his muscles telling him he'd slept at that uncomfortable angle for quite some time. He rolled gingerly over, his subconscious already fearful at the barren empty space he'd find: Callum, true to his word, having slipped away once Ben had been claimed by sleep.

A selfish streak in Ben had hoped Callum would relent on that stance once they were both safely incumbent atop the mattress, but his wounded pride had always counter-warned that Callum would indeed walk away in the end. The latest in a long line of neglecting figures in Ben's life.

Except Callum was the one person that Ben couldn't actually ever malign for taking that decision. _What about me?_ the man had torn into Ben to ask the previous day: Ben, in his cocooning need for self-preservation unable to admit, let alone articulate, that it really was all about Callum: every action Ben took; every counter punch with which he struck out; every beat his heart drummed to.

Ben had finally succeeded in driving the very best person in his life away, & had only himself to blame that he was facing the dawn of an impossibly difficult day alone. Potentially even facing the entirety of the day alone, without the reassuring constant of a hand in his; an embracing arm at his shoulder.

He flailed an arm outward from the bed, searching erratically until his hand connected with his glasses set out carefully to one side. Letting his vision take its time to adjust once he had the glasses in situ, he looked across to the alarm clock across the far side of the bed. 4.42am.

It was then that he noticed something other though: a definitive gesture that affirmed he wasn't alone on this, his toughest of days, after all. Callum had left for the interim but had no permanent intention of turning his back & walking away.

The warmth & comfort of Callum's love was still very much on offer, provided Ben could just find a way to show he wanted it, needed it, cherished it.

And maybe, just maybe, entirely reciprocated it.


	287. Chapter 287

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves gang, because this is likely to be the first of two chapters posted today - yep, it's a double-post Wednesday to get us over the hump of the week. 
> 
> This chapter, & the next, I feel work best as standalone chapters, but read in reasonably quick succession, to truly feel the chaos of Ben's innermost thoughts & feelings.🎢
> 
> I'm really intrigued as to how the direction I've taken goes down: remember I'm all about fusing canon scenes together, so need to bridge across from where canon last showed the boys - in turmoil in the Mitchell kitchen - to where canon next showed them - in Callum's flat on the morning of the funeral. Equally, we know Ben's building to a massive admission - 💕🤟- but what did it take to get him to that point?
> 
> I'm overthinking again, I know, but I look forward to hearing what you think...

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben’s bones sank their way effortlessly into the hoodie Callum had left in his place on the vacant side of the bed, feeling the instant warming sensation of being embraced & very much at home. It wasn’t Callum’s arms, but it was the next best thing, & Callum would doubtless have known the comfort it would bestow when he left it. 

There was a scent of the man on the garment; a lingering reminder that he wasn’t so far away after all, & as Ben breathed the familiar aroma in, his mind began to knit together loose ends of thoughts that had been building within for some time: that Callum was the light who dragged him back from the abyss time after time; that without Callum at his side he was half the man he truly could be.

That none of those were things he’d ever said out loud to his man were instantly a matter of regret for Ben, as the realisation hit as to just how close Callum had come to walking away. It scared Ben witless that one single individual could have quite such an effect on him, but it troubled him all the more that now he’d found such a person he’d come so stupidly close to letting him slip away.

If there was one thing this particular day should be able to teach, in the context of them saying a final goodbye to Dennis, it was that relationships & time spent with those closest should be cherished, not taken for granted. Never taken for granted. 

Ben needed to let Callum know all of those things & more.

He reached for his phone & opened the private chat between them, typing out words as fast as his fingers could compute them.

_I want you_  
I need you  
I miss you 

He stared impatiently at the words in front of him on the screen: feeling somehow that none of them adequately represented his meaning. Nestling his chin deeper into the soft fabric of the hoodie, & pulling its toggles tighter around him, he again breathed in whatever of Callum he could imbibe from the material.

It hit him then, a thought from out of the blue that he whispered hesitantly into the darkness all around him.

“I…I think I love you…”


	288. Chapter 288

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N.B. IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT OF THE DAY GO BACK A CHAPTER - Double chapter posting, for reasons explained ahead of the previous chapter...I really hope the vibe I'm trying to set across these two chapters has come off... 🤞🤞

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

That moment had come as an epiphany to Ben: the chaos that had resonated about his mind for days instantly silenced by clarity. 

He’d deleted the message he’d typed to Callum soon after writing it, knowing the words on a screen couldn’t ever do this weight of feeling justice. He understood now his boyfriend’s true motivation in leaving the hoodie at his side: yes, it was a reminder that Callum was there if Ben still wanted him, but with the caveat that Ben would have to seek that commitment out if it was something he still needed, still desired. 

He surged his way out of bed, suddenly all-consumed by the need to express the notion he’d been struck by to Callum in person; halfway to dressed before he’d realised it was barely past five in the morning. Maybe Callum might not be quite so excited by a declaration of love at this ungodly time of the morning as he himself had been. Uncle Fester presumably wouldn’t be mad keen on Ben banging down the door in his haste to right his wrongs of the previous day either. 

So Ben had instead charted manic progress about his own house for the next few hours, irascibly staring the clock down until it dared to display a more human time of day; pacing back & forth to the point of nearly wearing a hole in the carpet. Now, showered & clothed with the aid of uncharacteristically shaky hands, he was finally setting foot outside of the house on a quest to find his man.

Dressed for a funeral, yet intent on delivering an oath of devotion, Ben was midway to Callum’s flat before he glanced down & noticed he was missing his tie. He pressed on regardless though, certain in his cause, to the point where he was near out of breath by the time he rang the buzzer to Callum’s flat.

Impatient to be admitted, & oblivious to the fact that his presence had already been answered through the intercom, Ben held a finger steady at the buzzer, setting an insistent, unrelenting request to be acknowledged & let in, while he leant his head against the brick wall, intolerant that he was being thwarted.

Callum, who had lost patience with trying to get the message across down the intercom receiver that whoever was downstairs had been granted permission to enter, thundered his way down the stairs two at the time. “Where’s the fire?”

Ben, on sensing a movement in front of him, looked up to meet his boyfriend’s gaze. “Hm?” he queried, having failed to catch a word.  
“The fire, Ben…” Callum repeated, with greater tolerance this time. “I’m guessin’ it must be somethin’ pretty important for you to be single-handedly runnin’ the batteries down on that intercom…Jay’ll have a fit if he ‘ears ya…”

There was a still then, as Callum looked to Ben for a response, sensing for the first time that maybe this was something more than the familiar routine of Ben surfacing with tail between his legs: a flicker of hope in the elder man’s eyes that this was something more heartfelt, more meaningful after the devastating events of the day before. 

Ben saw the hope reflected back at him in those crystal ocean eyes, & found himself wracked by the sudden onset of self-doubt & inferiority, opting on the spot to take an easier way out instead. “A tie…” he coughed back any hint of emotion in his voice. “I ain’t got a tie…”

“A tie…” Callum repeated, somewhat doleful & crestfallen that something of greater significance hadn’t been shared. He had a silent word with himself then though, sagely reminding that today wasn’t the day for recrimination as he gave a purposeful nod of his head.. “I’m sure we can find a tie for ya…”


	289. Chapter 289

## Actual scene of 30/03/20

Ben paced ruefully back & forth across the central living area of Callum’s flat as he silently castigated himself for his latest epic fail: he was his own greatest critic, after all. Every emotion he’d hoped to make clear to Callum had fallen by the wayside beneath the intensity of the man’s anticipating gaze, leaving Ben to falter amongst the lame explanation of needing to borrow a tie. 

Callum meanwhile was scouting through the drawers in his bedroom for a spare black tie, which he knew he had somewhere. He didn’t fully understand what was taking place between them at present, but was content in the providing role on this most difficult of days: Ben had come to him, that was at least a start.

Finding the tie he was looking for tucked away in the corner of the last drawer he searched, Callum wound the garment loosely within his hands: a distraction technique to remind himself to stay within safe parameters as he made his way back to Ben, whose back was firmly turned.

Callum squeezed gently at the man’s right shoulder to attract his attention, but found the gesture only startled, as Ben turned on his heels abruptly.   
“Sorry…” Callum apologised instantaneously, never meaning to cause alarm but seeing the obvious tension in the man’s posture: he was relieved to see that guard relaxed a little as Ben came to realise he was under no threat. 

“Here…” Callum gestured with the tie, raising his hands to fiddle with his man’s collar.  
Ben yielded to the action, tilting his head backwards to allow a clearer line of sight. “I thought I ‘ad one, but…” He shook his head & rolled his eyes in exasperation at himself.

Callum gave a smile of reassurance at that, suddenly understanding what this entire saga was about: the tie was a cover story, a fabrication designed to hide the fact that Ben was actually asking for much-needed support. Callum knew as much because he’d seen Ben’s own black tie; laid out with his suit, just the night before. He could work with this: maybe he wouldn’t need to be so cautious around Ben today after all.

“Listen, yesterday…” Callum began to broach the subject as he placed the tie around his boyfriend’s neck. “…You gettin’ arrested…”  
Ben’s hackles though instantly started to rise: eyes widening with alarm. 

“I…” Callum backtracked with a shake of his head. “I’m sorry…” He’d seen enough from the fear displayed in front of him that was more than Ben could take right now, so he returned to the focus of giving Ben the level of support he so obviously craved. Laying a hand gently to Ben’s neck, he guided the man to look at him, then uttered a few simple words of assurance. “I’m here…”

The reaction was immediate, Ben blinking back tears then falling forward into the man’s waiting arms. As Callum first caught him, then held him safely there, Ben let the tears begin to flow freely, while Callum dipped a kiss of tender compassion to the back of his head.


	290. Chapter 290

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben folded himself deeper into Callum's hold, if that was even possible, at the grounding sensation of his boyfriend's face against his hair: solid, consistent warm breaths whispering solidarity at his scalp.

Ben ached from the mistruth Callum would be believing, that this current flow of tears was for Dennis, when it was in fact for them. Regret rife in Ben's pores that he couldn't speak the extent of his feelings, or even start to make good on the damage inflicted yesterday.

He needed though at least to try. "I 'ad the beginnings of an entire speech in my 'ead..." he began tentatively, sniffing back tears.

Callum's hands lifted softly to either side of his boyfriend's head, which he guided gently to look up at him. "Yeah?" he smiled fondly. "Dennis wouldn'ta needed a speech to know how much you loved him though..." His was a consoling tone, meant to communicate no judgement was being made, even if Ben couldn't hear it.

Ben shook his head timidly. "The speech weren't for Dennis, it were for you..." He paused to let the words sink in. "There are so many things I should be sayin' right now; that I wanna say right now..."

Callum regarded his man closely; his thumbs circling soothing patterns against his skin. "You've told me everythin' I need to know just by coming 'ere this morning. Ain't nothin' else that needs to be spoken between us, ok?"

Each man locked their gaze to the other's, both trying to transmit & receive subliminal, unspoken truths. It was Ben though who eventually blinked first. "Promise me somethin'?" he croaked out hoarsely.

"Anythin'..." Callum consented in equally hushed tones; eyes still fixated on his man.  
"Don't leave my side today - not for a second..." Ben requested on a breath that was shaky. "Can't get through this on my own..."

Callum responded with soft, kindly eyes that sparkled empathetically. "Promise I won't leave your side, but only on the condition you won't leave mine either..."

Ben could only really smile at the uncomplicated compassion at play between them. "Got yaself a deal there; not to mention a boyfriend akin to a limpet for a day..."  
Callum chuckled with affectionate softness as he traced a thumb along the definition of the man’s cheekbone. "Wouldn't have it any other way..."


	291. Chapter 291

## Actual scene of 30/03/20 merging into unseen scene

_“She weren’t the only one who loved ‘im…”_

Callum wasn’t sure he’d ever heard the break of someone’s heart through their tone of voice alone, but having heard Ben’s reaction to Jay’s news that Mitchells wouldn’t be welcome at the funeral, he was fairly certain he had now. 

Beside him, Ben stood, chewing the proverbial wasp & looking resolved to burst at any moment, although whether in a pique of outrage or defiance, Callum wasn’t quite sure: he could read his man like a book on most occasions, but every so often the print of that text seemed to be in a foreign language.  
“Look please, Ben, please…not today…” Jay’s appeasing plea cut through the tension, just as Sharon began to emerge stage left, causing all three men to look across in her direction. 

Callum, if he was honest with himself, was half expecting some sort of bold-as-brass entrance onto the Square by Phil round about now, likely leading to a heated slanging match between the elder Mitchell & his estranged wife, before Ben, always the dutiful son, scrapped his way between them in defence of his father’s honour. That seemed to be the way life with the Mitchells rolled, after all.

Callum found himself to be holding in a breath at the very thought, only brought back to himself by a fleeting movement from Ben in the corner of his eye line: he instantly braced to deal with the fallout of whatever would happen next.

It was the least expected thing of all that actually happened, though, Ben relenting from his indignation, & for once seeing the bigger picture, & his responsibilities within it. “Alright, “I’ll stay away…” Ben began to consent with obvious dissatisfaction. “But only cos Dennis deserves somethin’ better than a cheap family feud…”  
Jay gave an approving nod of his head in gracious thanks. “I’ll come find ya later, yeah?” he supplied gently, while beginning to back away. 

Callum stepped unobtrusively into his boyfriend’s vision then, as he exchanged a discreet nod with Jay, then caressed a consoling hand to Ben’s emotion-flushed cheek. “You’re a compassionate man, Ben Mitchell; Sharon’ll remember that in time…”

Ben focused in hard on the words as they were spoken to him: part needing to temper his distress, & part needing to regain some control. “Yeah, well…” he sniffed in an attempt at nonchalance, in spite of his overwhelming sadness. “No parent deserves to be buryin’ their kid; not even a slapper who was at it behind everyone’s back with the local grease monkey…”

Callum gave a long, slow blink of his eyes, in partial disbelief his boyfriend had just made such an observation while standing within hailing distance of a grieving mother about to bury her child, but also in self-resignation that what was to follow was likely to be a long, difficult day with Ben in this sort of mood. 

“Get me out of ‘ere, before I can do somethin’ I might really live to regret…” Ben suddenly voiced what was a heartfelt request, packed full to the brim with awareness of his own tendency towards the impetuous. “Or, even worse, somethin’ you’ll regret on my behalf, eh?” 

It was a tantalising, glistening moment of introspection that hinted just maybe Ben was starting to consider his actions in respect of what they meant for them as a couple, instead of himself in isolation. Callum could work with that, so offered his hand out to his man, & led him to the sanctuary of a bench at the centre of the Square, where they could keep Ben’s promise to stay away, but privately still be allowed to pay respects to the passing procession.


	292. Chapter 292

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the world's a bit manic right now, & somehow it's 3 days since I last posted a chapter, which just won't do...Posting this without the next chapter being written, & no idea if I can pull off the concept I'm attempting, but heck, let's just throw caution to the wind, eh...

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben sat quiet & still, lost somewhere within himself, so Callum stayed silent beside him, offering an occasional stroke to an arm or hand to remind that he was right there with him on the bench they were now occupying.

Seeing his brother's coffin had been hard for Ben; being barred from his funeral greater torment still, so Callum was content to sit firm & strong, rewarding Ben for the compassion he'd just shown, simply by sitting in stoic solidarity.

"Guess you must be used to these by now..." Ben's sombre observation came from so far out of the blue it nearly caught Callum off guard.  
The elder man though wrapped his hands gently round those of his boyfriend, causing Ben to look across at him.

"Not sure ya ever get used to 'em..." Callum smiled sadly back at his man, now certain he had his attention. "Yer copin' mechanism just tends to improve..."

Ben gave a nod that suggested he understood, & that a line was drawn under that particular conversation, but then spoke again, as if struck by a further thought. "When was the last time ya cried? At a funeral, I mean..." There seemed to be real, earthy sentiment in the question, as if he felt he need permission to shed his tears for Dennis in public.

Callum sensed the lack of certainty in the enquiry & hated it, deciding on the spot it deserved a brave response, even if he was nervous in giving it. He flicked his tongue along his bottom lip to quench it with much-needed moisture. "Last August".

Ben felt the definitiveness with which the answer had been delivered; the lack of hesitation in recollection suggesting there was more to it than met the eye. He softened his gaze to encourage that he would listen, in whatever manner he actually could, if his boyfriend chose to elaborate.

"Mate from the Army..." Callum elaborated softly.  
Ben received the information with an unassuming nod. "Killed in action?" His brow visibly knotted in concern at the thought.  
"Nah..." Callum corrected, then gave a short cough to clear his suddenly clammy throat. "Car crash..." he eventually clarified.

It was Ben's turn to give comfort in that moment, freeing his thumb from where his hands still sat encased by Callum's so he could stroke reassuringly at his man's skin. "I'm sorry..." he whispered out tenderly.  
"Yeah," Callum sighed in sad agreement. "Yeah, me too..."

Ben regarded his man closely then, as if looking at a puzzle he couldn't quite solve. "Who was there for ya then? Like you're 'ere for me now, I mean..." There was a suspicion in his mind he already knew the answer, as confirmed by the slow, doleful blink returned in his direction.

It cut Ben deep to think of Callum alone in just this scenario; scoring deeper still that he hadn't even thought there'd been someone he could have turned to for support all along. "You know I'd of been there for ya, if I'd known..." he offered gently.

"I know that now..." Callum agreed with a wistful smile that drew Ben right back to his thoughts of love & devotion at the breaking of the day: even in the darkest of times there was some sort of light.

The younger man raised their combined hands slowly, tipping a delicate kiss to them, then gently returning Callum's to his lap.

Looking for all the world like he was about to say something more, Ben repositioned his weight on the bench; Callum instantly missing the contact between them, so raising his arm to rest easily behind Ben along the bench.

Ben held his breath, while Callum exhaled deeply, both feeling on the precipice of something seismic.


	293. Chapter 293

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've granted myself a little poetic licence with the actual canon scene depicted here; that as was shown on screen isn't quite as depicted here, but thus just works better for my purposes...

## Actual scene of 30/03/20 merging into unseen scene

Ben's attention was taken, mere seconds later, at the sound of the first hoof striding out along the tarmac: the cortege procession starting, & the moment - whatever it was, neither of them sure - was gone. 

As Ben twisted in his seat for a clear view, Callum tenderly ruffled fingers to his man's hair: a reminder again that he wasn't alone. Callum too spared a thought for Jay in that moment: at the head of the hearse, this can't be an easy day for him either.

Ben stayed passive, mournfully watching the slow procession of the cortege as it began its winding route around the Square: Callum slipping a hand to rest lightly at his man's knee: a constant, grounding touch of assurance.

He solemnly watched Ben's head dip a little as the hearse passed them by at the closest point: a mark of respect perhaps, but most likely a wave of emotion washing over him that he felt the need to conceal. 

Callum hated that thought; that Ben wouldn't allow himself to be free with his emotions at a time like this. Maybe, though, they were both still shielding untold emotions from one another. Callum didn't have a chance to pursue that notion any further though, seeing Ben rise slowly from the seat to keep the coffin in view as it steadily retreated from them. 

The wintry summer sun highlighted the glisten of tears forming in Ben's eyes as he looked on sadly, & as Callum too made to stand, the younger man drew a hand up to his own face, pressing a kiss to its palm, then wistfully releasing it in the direction of the hearse just as it finally withdrew from their sight.

Ben inhaled a shaky breath then, looking for all the world like he was about to falter, but reaching out for Callum's hand to join with his. "Get me away from 'ere..." he entreated sombrely.

Callum gave an affirming squeeze to his hand. "Of course..." he smiled kindly as his boyfriend glanced up at him. "Where d'ya wanna go?"

Ben considered the question for a moment, his brow pinching into a tight line as he sought out an answer. "Take me somewhere to remember..." he requested quietly, looking away into the middle distance. "And then take me somewhere to forget..."

To anyone else it might have seemed a riddle, but to Callum it made total sense. He gave another reassuring squeeze with his hand, then began to lead his man away, already certain in his mind of what it was Ben needed: to first remember his brother, & then second to have his mind taken fully from the turmoil of the day.


	294. Chapter 294

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben, it seemed, was stuck in stasis again; the only sound or movement in the back office of the funeral parlour the rhythmical tick of the clock on the wall. 

Callum retrieved a carafe of brandy & two glasses from the side cupboard, knowing them to be in situ for the purposes of steadying grieving relatives, & figuring that Ben fulfilled that requirement on this particular day. He poured out a dose of the liquid, then slid the glass across the table in offering to Ben, who glanced at it while in his silent stupor. 

"Just to take the edge off..." Callum suggested softly, tipping a little of the drink into the glass set aside for himself, & taking a quenching sip.  
“Ain’t that more usually my line?” Ben quirked an eyebrow in acknowledgement he was usually the first to turn to alcohol when things got tough.  
“Reckon we’re both a bit in need today,” Callum shrugged: Ben couldn’t exactly argue that case, so gave an appreciative nod of his head, then took a short sip of the drink himself.

As he swallowed the warming liquid down, he took a glance to his left, & spotted the wreath of flowers he & Lola had sent in memoriam to Dennis. “She wouldn’t even let my flowers be at the funeral?” he sniffed out his frustration, tinged with regret. “What harm could flowers even do?”

Callum followed his boyfriend’s line of sight to see the garland positioned across the room: he ran a hand softly through Ben’s hair, then moved across to look at the flowers for himself, & most specifically, the card contained within them:

_Brother  
Always in our thoughts  
With love & fond memories  
Ben, Lola & Lexi_

“They’re beautiful…” Callum assured on a whispered breath, as he turned back to his man, lifting the card to raise it in indication. “This is beautiful…” He recognised the handwriting to be Ben’s own & knew the amount of soul searching that would have gone into writing each word.  
Ben gave a bashful nod, raising the glass to his lips again, this time with a slightly shaking hand, as he tried not to let his emotions overwhelm him.

“We can take them to the grave later ourselves,” Callum suggested, moving back across to perch against the table & steady the jitter of the glass in his boyfriend’s hand. “Or to the memorial on the Square….whatever you want to do…”

There was an obvious twitch of Ben’s cheek then, as he struggled to comprehend the amount of devotion being offered out to him: nobody had ever shown him this level of attentive compassion before, & he didn’t quite know how to respond to it.  
Callum, as ever, saw exactly that, embracing a palm to his man’s face & stroking a thumb along it comfortingly. “Whatever you want or need to do Ben; that’s exactly what we’ll do…”

There was such unfaltering strength & assurance in the words as they were delivered, that Ben felt himself able to do little else than lean into his man's touch, & submit to the tenderness on offer.


	295. Chapter 295

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, have totally lost my flow with this part of the narrative & am currently wading through writer's block that is akin to treacle. I hope a little inspiration will strike soon.

## Actual scene of 30/03/20 merging into unseen scene

Ben raised his glass as the clock struck the turn of the hour, toasting the memory of Dennis, & then taking a sip of brandy that he didn't even want, but that he needed to settle his nerves.

Callum looked on sadly, knowing this was a moment his man just had to get through; slipping his hand to rest it atop of Ben's in an attempt at reassurance, & steadily interlinking their fingers 

Ben looked down at their digits intertwined, & suddenly it was all too much: the floodgates opening as he let forward a pained sob. "Fuck," he cursed, fisting the ball of his free hand first against one eye, then the other, as he tried to stem the tide. 

Callum moved swiftly, stealth like, to stand alongside his boyfriend: Ben at first dismayed by the withdrawal of contact between them, but breathing a visible sigh of relief when he realised his man's agenda, sinking his head into his waist for an embrace.

Time continued to tick by, Callum gently rocking their combined weight to the rhythmical beat of the clock, while Ben's features stayed buried in tight against his suit, inconsolable in his grief.

Thoughts of their earlier conversation crept into Callum's mind as he held his man firm: a real sense playing out that his presence was the only thing keeping Ben together at all.

Ben's sentiment had been so right: that nobody should endure this onset of grief alone, & Callum wondered how he himself had indeed done so the August previous. He'd been hiding away so much of himself, he guessed, that his grief was just one more thing to shy away from.

Ben began to reluctantly stir, taking one last deep breath to pull himself together, then gazing up at his boyfriend with blue eyes that remained piercing, despite the tears. "I got it wrong ya know..." he ventured on a voice part-choked by emotion.

Callum looked at him questioningly, but said nothing.   
"Back when I said kindness was a weakness," Ben clarified, through the sting of his tears. "I was wrong: it's actually a massive strength..."

Callum smiled at that: his devoted, adoring smile that always sent Ben a little weak at the knees. "Called it at the time, didn't I?" The elder man beamed proudly. "Said you didn't believe that deep down, & that I wouldn't be with ya if ya did..."

Ben gave a faint nod of acceptance that was most likely true. He could feel emotions squirreling in his stomach again that he didn't know how to adequately voice, so said nothing, burying his head back amid his man's suit, & breathing in the strength of the man before him once more. Hoping, quietly, even a small part of that strength might just rub off on him.


	296. Author's Note

To who all who take their time to read,

With apologies, but there will now be a hiatus in this fic - this is done with a heavy heart as I close in on the 300-chapter mark, not to mention the first anniversary of me starting this fic, but I do so with the best interests of my family.

Writing this, has - & continues - to give me much pleasure, but current personal circumstances are leaving me lacking:..

I both can't - & won't - write chapters with only half a heart towards completing them, or making them the very best they can be.

Please know that writing this in the main thus far has brought me joy, companionship, purpose & distraction, but for the immediate term at least I need to concentrate my all elsewhere. I hope & plan to continue this writing, but feel unable to give it the headspace it needs & deserves just now.

While I had hoped I could get the narrative to Ben's ILY declaration before taking this decision, that just isn't presently viable.

I will continue to write this - especially as some chapters to come are already written & I'm immensely proud of them - but I need to take the pressure off myself for a while.

I thank everyone who reads, let alone anyone who has taken their time to comment, & hope you will stick with this when it reappears...it may be as little as in a few days' time, or a while longer, but I hope you will ultimately come back on board this epic journey with me in due course. I will aim to add another Author's note of advance notice in due course when I plan to start posting again.

I wish to make absolutely clear at this point that there is no seeking of attention or adulation on my part in penning this synopsis of present circumstances: it's simply a fact of where my world's currently at...I'm sure many deride fanfic as gluttonous self-service, but its power of escapism from reality should never, ever, be underestimated. Maybe that can't truly be understood unless you've been there yourself.

Take care of yourselves, & each other.

Yours in earnest apology, but expectation of the future. 

Whirlygig95


	297. Author's Note 2

With heartfelt thanks, may I send much gratitude to all those who got in touch to express their goodwill & best wishes when I took the heavy-hearted decision to pause this fic a few weeks ago. 

I think (hope) I managed to reply to each individual personally, but every lovely sentiment received meant so, so much, & reduced me to tears on more than one occasion. Who knew what a cathartic experience it would prove to be: certainly not me.

I'm relieved to say pressures on the family front have now eased, & I am up & running with writing again: For a while I just couldn't hear the Ballum boys' narrative amongst the white noise in my world, but with a little more headspace again now, they're starting to come through loud & clear...

And oh I have missed them, just as it's been so touching to hear from those who were missing these UnScene exploits just as much as I was.

So, all things being equal, I hope to resume posting chapters within the next day or so - chapters may be a little less frequent than the near daily updates of before, but never say never...

With the sincerest of thanks for your support, patience & all-round compassion, I hope this update finds each & every reader, & their families, well.

It feels so good to be on my way to bringing this back: I've missed writing these boys for you so very much, & I can't wait to explore more of their unseen narrative with you all soon.

Whirlygig95  
x

_Be kind to yourselves, & each other_


	298. Chapter 296

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, we're back...As a little recap, we left Ben & Callum in the funeral parlour, on the day of Dennis's funeral, & that's where they continue to reside as we pick things up again with this chapter.
> 
> This is actually the final chapter I wrote before I had to shut down my writing for reasons previously explained, & I have to admit, when I came back to this, I'd completely forgotten I'd even written this one - I guess that's what writing when your head is elsewhere does for you.
> 
> Now I can actually remember writing this chapter, I can recall it was intended to take an entirely different direction to the one it does - as usual, the boys ending up writing their own narrative.
> 
> This chapter was created with the aid of Google, for reasons of third-party character names & references that will become apparent.
> 
> It's good to be back; I've missed this...

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben stared pensively into the juddering flame of the candle before him, then up to Callum’s watching face, which was cast in the shadows of the flickering light. “It’s no use babe,” the younger man then bemoaned his dissatisfaction. “I really ain’t cut out for this level of sentimentality…”

“Yeah y’are…” Callum refuted his boyfriend’s claim in a soft, calm tone as he looked him firm in the eye. “I’ve seen ya gettin’ all glossy-eyed over them old black & white movies before, & I’ve ‘eard the break in yer voice when ya tell Lex how amazin’ she was at her latest dance competition. You can do sentimental as well as any of us, if you’ll just let yerself for a minute…”

Ben adjusted the angle of his jaw to something set a little more rigid, as if in attempt to deflect any such notion that he could ever be so maudlin, even if deep down they both knew Callum had him banged to rights on this one. He leant forward, to whisper something across the desk to his man in something that was near conspiratorial. “Got my reputation to keep up, ain’t I? Can’t ‘ave people thinkin’ I’m some sort of soppy git…”  
Callum though just huffed out a breath of exasperation. “It’s literally just you & me ‘ere, & I already know full well what a soppy git ya really are…”

Ben’s features flinched into a tight smile, despite himself then, knowing that his boyfriend was simply trying to help him through his grief. “D’ya remember that time ‘im & Sharon came back from Portugal to find you in a pair of boxers & not much else on our sofa?” An indecent smirk radiated across Ben’s face at the thought of both the hilarity of the moment, & what had led to his man’s impromptu state of undress.

Callum gave an embarrassed shake of his head, but couldn’t resist a sheepish smile in return. “Stitched me up good & proper there, didn’t ya? Not sure either Sharon or Dennis was bankin’ on an eyeful of my thighs the moment they returned to Walford…”  
Ben’s eyebrows quirked upwards in amusement. “Would’ve ‘ad an even bigger eyeful if they’d walked in a few minutes earlier than that…”

“Well let’s just be grateful for small mercies, eh?” Callum blushed at the thought of what an inappropriate impression that might have left.  
“Or not so small, as I recall…” Ben winked mischievously: Callum would let him have that fun though, given the man was finally opening up his mind to memories of Dennis, which was what this entire current scenario was meant to be about: an act of remembrance. 

Ben’s eyes drifted back towards the candle flame between them. “Dennis was all but pissin’ ‘imself about that for days afterwards. Kept doin’ an impression of you hoppin’ around the room & tryin’ to stagger yer way into yer jeans…”

Callum scrubbed a hand to his face in instant mortification. “Never mentioned that to me before…”  
“Is there really any wonder why?” Ben mused in the face of his boyfriend’s obvious discomfort. “I ‘ad designs on a repeat performance, not on you hidin’ them glorious thighs of yours away forever more in shame…”

Much as Ben enjoyed seeing his man squirm at the fluster of such a thought, he still wanted to appease his sense of ill-ease, so rose from out of his chair to navigate his way around the desk towards his man. “For my eyes & personal gratification only nowadays, eh?” he smiled fondly, nodding in the direction of Callum’s lap in lieu of actually voicing the request he was truly making. 

Callum understood what was being asked, pushing his body fully backwards in his chair, then opening out his arms to invite Ben to sit within the additional space he’d made: Ben duly did so without fuss, folding downward to take perch a seat upon his boyfriend’s lap & be held firm within his arms.

Callum let his head dip to rest against Ben’s shoulder as they both then looked back towards the flame; nuzzling his nose gently at his boyfriend’s neck as indication he should look across at him. “Bet you & Dennis was a right pair of mischief makers…”  
“You ever read them Beano comics as a kid?” Ben volunteered in return, arching his upper body back to lean tight into his man, tilting his head until it came to nestle next to the elder man’s, which afforded himself future clear sight of the words being spoken to him.

“Ya know I did…” Callum hummed in agreement.  
“Sharon ‘ad us each pegged as characters from that comic,” Ben sniffed down a sudden hint of emotion. “Used to call us the terrible twins around the ‘ouse: He was Dennis the Menace, obviously…”

“So who did that make you?” Callum queried as he tried to puzzle out the solution for himself.  
Ben shifted his weight slightly in his man’s lap. “Ya really tellin’ me ya can’t even take an educated guess?”  
“Hmmm,” Callum pondered aloud, settling a wisp of warm breath against Ben’s forehead. “Can see a bit of you in a few of them characters to be honest…Billy Whizz…Roger the Dodger…”

Ben chuckled out his delight. “Not even warm babe, though I could make a neat segway at this point about rogerin’…”  
“Behave…” Callum reprimanded in fond jest, before prompting his boyfriend to reveal the answer. “Come on then, you’ve got me on that one: if Dennis was the menace, which one was you?”

“Only one character I ever really could be, don’t ya think?” Ben simpered, biting down on his lip as means of seductive charm, while slipping a palm to the outer of his boyfriend’s thigh to stroke along it repeatedly.

Callum thought hard at the hints being dropped, particularly as Ben began to writhe with a little more intent against his lap, when all of a sudden the answer became clear. He gave a cough of amusement, shifting the hand of his left arm so he could begin to trace individual letters against Ben’s suit sleeve.

M

Ben watched intently at the formation of the first character being outlined onto the fabric.

I

A broad smile breaking out across his face at the realisation his man was on the right track.

N

“Careful now babe…” Ben cautioned cheekily, briefly turning his head in Callum’s direction to feather a few delicate kisses to his jawline. “I’m not so small as my namesake character, remember…”  
Callum chuckled heartily at the warning, intrinsically understanding the guidance that had been given, as he focused on giving shape to one final letter. 

X

Ben shifted fully in his seat then, to face Callum & fling his arms in an embrace around his shoulders. “Minnie the Minx can’t hold a candle to me mind…” he beamed ecstatically as he leant in to initiate a kiss.

“Mitchell the Minx…” Callum chortled back his approval in breathy return, withholding from the kiss just long enough to voice an infamous quote from the comic’s series. “As wild as wild can be…”


	299. Chapter 297

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

“Fuck…” Ben relented from their clinch, which had been simultaneously providing him with much needed lifeblood, while starving him of all coherent thought, sometime later. It was an anathema that such passion felt so right in such a time & setting. “Is it completely inappropriate for me to be parading a stiffy on the day of my own brother’s funeral?” He drew Callum’s gaze downwards with his own to make clear his physical predicament. 

“Personally…” Callum managed to thinly-veil his own current levels of desire with a cleverly-timed cough. “I’d find it more offensive if ya didn’t have a stiffy right now…”  
Ben’s eyelashes fluttered thickly in response to the knowledge his man was so obviously turned on as well, & he licked his lips salaciously. “Always said you in this suit does things to me, didn’t I?”

The glow from Callum’s cheeks told that he thrilled at the suggestion, as he caressed a hand gently to the side of his man’s face. “And I said we’d do anythin’ you wanted or needed to get through today, so to clarify, that very much keeps this firmly on the side of appropriate behaviour…”

Ben emitted a pitchy whimper at that, immediately all-consumed by the need to consummate their passion. “Take me up to your bed?” It wasn’t a command, or even a plea: just an honest appraisal of everything he needed in that moment.

Callum understood the need fully, having always suspected the day would descend into the primal eventually: emotions between them had been too taut & strained in previous days for the conclusion to be anything but. They’d been into Ben’s head, purging out memories of Dennis, & now everything Ben needed was to get out of his head & lose himself for a while in the best way he knew how.


	300. Chapter 298

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

"Don't judge me for this, " Ben craned his head away from Callum's, to lean back against the wall of the stairs to the flat, between frenetic kisses. “Please…”  
"Who’s judgin’?" Callum assured readily, lips already chasing their way back onto his man's.

Ben succumbed to the new contact for a moment, then backed away again. "Just ain't the accepted way of sendin' off ya brother is it?" He gulped down an intake of air. "Feelin' the need to get off yaself..."

Callum stalled their frenzy at that, looking his man firm in the eye. "Since when you ever been acceptable?" The playful grin on his face transmitting all that needed to be spoken.   
Suddenly there was so much more between them than just a need to forget the emotion of the day: there was a redressing of balance to take place from the previous day's wrongs.

Ben launched himself back into Callum with the velocity of a homing device set certain of its course; the taller man, ever responsive to his man's needs, wasting no time in guiding Ben's arms to first raise, then position their way over his shoulders.

In mere seconds then, Callum had his man hoisted aloft at the waist, pushing Ben more firmly into the wall, & leaving him with no option but for arms & legs to grip on vice like.

They focused in on their passion then: tongues breaching one another's mouths; teeth clashing; lower-halves working together in time. Ben eventually the first to retreat, his mouth trailing a string of saliva. "Show me..." he began to voice breathlessly. "Remind me where I belong..."

There was so much heart & sentiment to that request, Callum could feel: his boyfriend: so emotionally torn & vulnerable from the nature of the day itself, let alone its rejections & abandonments, from both those who refused Ben's presence at the funeral, or had skipped the service themselves altogether.

There was nothing more to transmit than total commitment to giving whatever was needed, so Callum gave a decisive nod of his head, returned Ben to a standing position on the floor, then offered out a hand to guide his man up the final step into the flat.

"You don't ever need to question that this is where you belong..." Callum entreated earnestly, dipping a kiss to the knuckles of Ben's hand within his own. "Wait 'ere just one minute, & I'll show ya..."


	301. Chapter 299

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben thumbed impatiently at loosening the knot in the tie around his neck, as he watched Callum retreat in the direction of the bedroom, suddenly feeling hot under the collar. 

Tugging to release the bind of the tie around him, but leaving it to still lie loose around his body, Ben clawed at the button of his shirt collar, swallowing thickly at the sense of restriction he was so desperate to free himself from. 

He wasn't privy to what Callum might be planning, but knew the cut of the man well enough that whatever it might be, sincerity was likely to shine through. It made Ben's heart soar to think that his own need to get off could be accommodated with such effortless charm: He was suddenly envisaging strewn rose petals, or the burning of gentle scents, & neither of those thoughts frightened him anymore: maybe they were actually what he'd been yearning for all along.

Captured by that notion, he began to shrug himself out of his suit jacket, tossing it casually to one side: the action causing a loose leaf of paper stowed away in its pocket to flutter its way free & fall onto the carpet. He stared pensively at the document as it made its graceful landing, & instantly felt his fury once again start to burn & irritate within.


	302. Chapter 300

## Actual scene of 30/03/20

Callum strode back out from the bedroom, pleased with the ambience he'd set: nothing overt or overwhelming, just the smallest of gestures that he knew in combination would mean something to Ben & his need to be reminded of a sense of belonging...The curtains drawn closed, shutting out the world beyond; a bedside lamp switched on to soften the mood, in place of the searching overhead glare of the main light; the bed covers ever-so-slightly inched back to imply a space that was warm, inviting, all-encompassing.

As Callum emerged into the flat's living area, he found Ben now to be in contemplative examination of his own features in the mirror: undeterred, Callum sidled over to his man, intent on resurrecting their closeness of earlier. Raising his hands to grasp assuredly at the man’s upper arms, he rubbed at them gently, in invitation for their eyes to meet in the mirror’s reflection. 

There was a tension back in Ben’s shoulders though, Callum noted, that he’d hoped had dissipated with the cocooning of themselves back in the flat, & eyes that had previously sparkled with the thought of being taken to bed now seemed heavy & forlorn. Ben was quite visibly chewing down a wasp, even if perhaps with the slightest hint of apology being reflected towards Callum. 

Ben tugged the tie free from his own neck in a motion that was clearly anything but the beginnings of a strip tease: his nostrils flared in derision, & his demeanour a coiled spring of anger. Callum held still, sensing the bomb was about to explode. & sure enough, Ben turned in the space between them to look his man directly in the eye. 

“She can’t ban me from the pub…” Ben asserted with characteristic defiance, already on his way as he spoke.  
“Ben…” Callum tried to call his man back, realising forlornly that it was of little use, as he wearily trailed a hand across his brow, then searched himself in the mirror for an ounce more of inner strength. It didn’t take long for him to find it, so he swiftly turned & began to bustle out of the flat after his man.


	303. Chapter 301

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

The sheet of paper on the floor caught Callum’s eye just as he was snatching up his keys from the side. While he was intent on catching up with Ben as swiftly as he could, something told Callum this was worth the time to pause & check on, so he did, crouching down to retrieve the item in question.

The leaf of paper revealed itself to be handwritten in Ben’s familiar scrawl, & its content had the power to momentarily knock the breath from Callum’s lungs as he rose slowly back to his feet. He read the words before him intently at the realisation Ben had penned a eulogy to Dennis, no doubt hoping to say a few words at the funeral or the wake. That thought made Callum’s heart both burst a little with pride, & shatter a little with sorrow: all Ben truly wanted after all was the opportunity to grieve for his brother. 

Callum understood then that Ben wasn’t hotfooting it to the Vic to cause trouble or stake any claim: he simply wanted to experience that he wasn’t alone in his grief. It was a big moment in many ways, Ben seeking to surround himself with others rather than shy away from company, as had been his want since the loss of his hearing. 

Callum was only ever going to be right beside his man for that, so grabbed Ben’s discarded suit jacket from the side, securely tucking the handwritten eulogy back safely away within its inner pocket, then bustled off down the stairs two, sometimes three at a time, determined to catch up with his man.


	304. Chapter 302

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know, what with Ben's big ILY declaration at the time, did any of us actually spot how cumbersome the canon scenes leading up to it were? I mean, I love infilling the gaps for this pair, but their canon scenes around this time were quite erratic...I'm trying to portray it as chaotic Ben, but I'm really not sure...

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben instantly bristled at the touch of a halting hand to the arm he'd just lifted to pull open the door to the Queen Vic. "Don't, Callum..." he warned brusquely, knowing it was his boyfriend back at his side without even having to cast a sideways look. "I ain't about to be talked out of this".

Callum's fingers just tapped a rhythm away at Ben's arm: a quiet insistence that he should pause & look in his direction for at least a second, which Ben reluctantly did.

"Ain't gonna stop ya..." Callum smiled fondly, once certain he had his man's attention. "Just thought you'd be glad of ya suit jacket for a bit of warmth, that's all..."

Ben glanced down at himself then, seeing he'd high tailed it from the flat in only his suit shirt on his top half, & suddenly feeling the bite of the evening March air. "Don't deserve you..." he admitted, a little choked on emotion, as Callum manoeuvred him into his jacket.  
"Yeah well " his boyfriend chuckled knowingly in return. "That's a whole conversation we can have later..."

Ben seemed to take renewed vigour from that, chasing a pecked kiss to his man's lips, then turning back in the direction of the door. As a final thought though at the last minute, he held his trailing hand back to interlink it with Callum's. 

They then entered the pub as one, Callum casting a glance around as he was guided in the direction of the bar: an attempt to offer an appeasing smile in Sharon's direction should she react unhappily to their presence.

There was no sign of the grieving mother though, with the first to clap eyes on them the ever attentive Jay: he delivering a withering expression out of Ben's sight, & Callum responding instantly with a look of his own, that spoke of _He won't kick off: I'll make sure of it..._

Jay seemed satisfied by that unarticulated assertion, striding with purpose across the bar area to scoop his brother into a hug: all three men silently hoping that particular promise could actually be upheld.


	305. Chapter 303

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m taking a cheeky little jump in time here, having entirely unsuccessfully managed to write any sort of narrative based around the scenes set in the Vic for Dennis’s wake, which had been my plan. I've tried countless ideas over the last few days, but couldn't get any of them to stick or flow. 
> 
> Essentially, I refuse to waste any further time dilly dallying over scenes that were inconsequential at best, if not actually a bit tardy in canon itself. 
> 
> So, we pick up here directly after those scenes – Ben has just stormed out, having had a go at Callum for being overbearing & patronising; Jack’s just given Callum the whole “you can’t associate with a Mitchell & be a copper” spiel, for the umpteenth time. So everyone’s a bit over tired & emotional, but Callum isn’t giving up on his man…

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Callum scrubbed a hand wearily at his face as he swiftly exited the Vic, feeling a little affronted by Jack's latest dig, not to mention miffed at himself for entertaining it, as that had given Ben precious extra seconds in which to bolt, leaving uncertainty as to where he'd gone. 

Callum understood it had been an exhausting day for Ben: not just from the emotional perspective of burying his brother, but also from the effort of just trying to keep up with the conversations around him. He himself had overstepped the mark in trying to ease the latter path for his boyfriend: Callum already understood that as he strode through the chill of the night. He had done everything with the best of intentions, but had made some rookie mistakes. If it was exhausting for Ben, it was similarly wearing for Callum after all.

In spite of not knowing for certain where Ben had gone, Callum readily had a sense of where he'd likely find him. The man had been silently seeking out comfort all day after all, so was unlikely to cease that quest now.

He rounded the corner, & sure enough, found Ben there before him, squatting down on the doorstep of the flat: knees braced to his chest, arms wrapped tight about himself, eyes rooted to the floor.

Callum made his final silent approach & stood quietly before the man, content to await a reaction: it soon came, in the form of a sheepish glance upwards from Ben.

"Let me in?" the younger man requested, in a tone that seemed slightly deferential  
"Where's ya key?" Callum responded with a kindly smile. He had recently given a key to Ben, on the basis that he himself already had free access to come & go in visiting the Mitchell household, so it had seemed only reasonable to reciprocate.

Ben shrugged his shoulders. "Couldn't find meself a tie this mornin', so what hope did I have with a door key?" He made to scramble his way back to his feet, finding the immediate offer of a supporting hand made by his boyfriend, & accepting it without question.

With Ben righted to his feet within close proximity to him, Callum gave him a soft smile, & stroked a hand down the man's face. "Just as well this head of yours is screwed in place eh, so ya can't lose that too".

Ben shook his head disapprovingly, as Callum busied himself with unlocking the door. Once he had done so, he held it open for Ben to pass through, then closed it behind them. "You can go on up..." he suggested, noting Ben had failed to move from the hallway.  
"Eh?" Ben hadn't caught the words that had been spoken to him.  
"Go on up..." Callum reasserted calmly, pointing upwards as a means of additional clarification.

Ben gave a concentrated nod of understanding, then trudged a weary path up the stairs. Callum followed on quietly behind, trying not to lament just how defeated his man looked. 

When they emerged into the living space & Ben halted again, Callum decided it was time to take charge. Planting a hand carefully to each of Ben's shoulders - ever so gently so as not to startle him - Callum guided his man to turn a little within his hold so he could see him speak.

"Tired?" Callum then questioned softly.  
"Knackered..." Ben affirmed, dipping his head.  
"Bed?" the elder man suggested, emitting a calm sense of confidence. "Snuggle down?"

Ben's head tilted to momentarily nestle against one of Callum's hands: an almost instinctive move nowadays. "Sounds perfect..." he agreed, pressing a soft kiss to knuckles.

Callum ruffled a hand through his man's hair to draw attention back to his own lips. "Hot chocolate?" He beamed with the anticipation of a child at his own suggestion.  
“Go on then…” Even Ben mustered a minor chuckle at his boyfriend’s wide-eyed excitement. “Go steady on the marshmallows though, yeah? Don’t need ya havin’ a sugar rush in the night…” He pecked a slow kiss to the taller man’s lips in indication he was only teasing.

Callum seemed to visibly burst with pride at the return to some semblance of normality between them. “Go get yourself cosy; I’ll bring the hot chocolate through…”  
They both stalled though, the ghost of a past conversation threatening to rear its head.

_I don’t deserve you…_

_Yes you do…Yes you do…_

Callum could sense the uncertainty, so broke through it with another reminder of his unrelenting kindness. “Fresh bed clothes under the pillow for ya…”

And there it came: with two simple servings of domestic bliss, the beginnings of the sensation for Ben that the protective walls built so stoically around his heart might just be starting to crumble.


	306. Chapter 304

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing all of my readers a safe & happy Christmas, however different it may be this year. If you're with the people you love, make the most of them; if you're on your own, give the day over to doing whatever pleases you. And if you're feeling low or lonely at any point, always know you can drop me a line to idle away the time with anything Ballum.
> 
> This just feels like the perfect chapter to wrap ourselves up in on a cold, crisp Christmas Eve...

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Callum hummed softly to himself as he waited for the kettle to boil, taking the opportunity to slip the suit jacket from his back & hang it carefully on the back of a chair, then loosening his tie until it lay fully undone around his neck. 

The tune on repeat through his mind was the one he always found resonated most deeply at the numerous funeral services in which he had played his small part. At a time that often meant utter desolation & loss for the individuals involved, Callum found comfort in the words & their sentiment.

_Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound,  
That saved a wretch like me  
I once was lost, but now am found  
T’was blind but now I see_

It resonated deep, not just for the progression he had made in his own life, but for the relevance it increasingly held to the man settling down into his bed – their bed – for the night just through the adjoining wall. 

_You gonna save me again, are ya Callum?_

Ben’s earlier harsh words cut him, but in reality, Callum simply wanted the man to save himself. He only wished Ben could see the version of himself Callum saw.

The burbling of the kettle brought him out of his thoughts, so he applied his energies to pouring the hot water into the two mugs of pre-prepared hot chocolate, diligently stirring both of them to ensure the mixture dissolved fully. Years of attention to detail at this task had taught that a consistent stir of twenty seconds produced the perfect outcome.

Satisfied with what he had produced, he combined the handles of both mugs in one hand, leaving the other free to switch off the lights, then backed his way into the bedroom, giving the door a gentle shove closed behind him. 

“Hot chocolate for two; easy on the marshmallows…” He spoke, but only once certain he was visible within the eyeline of Ben, who was already tucked seated into bed: pillows propped behind him as means of support, quilt drawn up to his chest for warmth. Callum smiled to himself at the realisation Ben had similarly carefully positioned his pillows & left his end of the quilt turned up, ready for him to clamber in alongside.

Ben accepted the mug on offer to him with minimum fuss, but obvious sincerity. “Thanks…” He then held the vessel close to his chest, dipping his face to breathe in the warming steam that was emanating from it. All the while, his eyes followed Callum’s progress about the room. 

First, the elder man safely deposited his own mug on the bedside cabinet beside his own side of the bed – taking care it was on the coaster not the wood of course. He then unbuttoned the top few buttons of his suit shirt, before growing tired of the effort & leaving the final few done up, opting to tug the article off over his head instead, complete with tie. It was only destined for the wash anyway, so little point in preserving its uniformity.

Ben smiled quietly to himself at what he’d just observed: that was a habit Callum had most definitely inherited from his own Mitchell influence. In the time it had taken to process that private acknowledgement, Callum had already slipped a dark t-shirt over his shoulders & was mid unbuckling his trousers. “What, no strip tease for me?” Ben lamented with a chuckle. 

Callum sank down to perch on the side of the bed, then turned his head over his shoulder to engage with his boyfriend. “I didn’t get one, so why should you?”  
“Touché,” Ben again softly chortled, while Callum made short work of removing the lower portion of his day-worn clothes & replacing them with a comfortable pair of shorts that had been seconded to the role of bedroom attire only. 

“Hope you’ve warmed this bed up for me…” Callum commented as he shifted his weight to climb fully into the bed, but realising as he did that the words that he’d spoken had probably been little more than white noise to Ben, who wouldn’t have been in a position to read his lips. He silently resolved to do better as he retrieved his mug of chocolate from the side, then chinked it against the mug in Ben’s hands. “Alright?” he queried, nodding a head towards Ben’s drink.

“Mmm,” Ben hummed appreciatively, taking a tentative sip from the mug, wary of the heat still rising from it. A different type of heat soon coursed through him though, leading him to question exactly what it was. “What ya put in here in place of the marshmallows?”  
Callum smiled easily. “Thought a little chug of brandy in it wouldn’t exactly go amiss tonight…”  
“Genius…” Ben delighted in the sentiment, knowing the man beside him truly was a man after his own heart. 

They sat quietly for a while, each taking gentle sips from their mugs; Ben periodically blowing into his to cool down the contents a little. While he fully appreciated a burning sensation about various parts of his anatomy when the mood took him, a full-on scalding burn to his mouth definitely wasn’t one of them.

Still, the reviving quality of the hot chocolate, not to mention of Callum himself, was drawing Ben towards conversation. “Maybe we would’ve been better off stoppin’ in & playin’ FIFA today after all…” It was an attempt at apology for his behaviour, they both understood.

Callum quietly contemplated the assertion for a moment before giving his answer. “Nah, cos I’d of beaten you at that, & you’d be in a right huff now…” The smirk on his face emphasised the playfulness of tone Ben was unable to hear. 

Ben smiled coyly into his mug, his own silent way of confirming that suggestion to be true. “But I’d of thrashed ya at F1…”  
“Ya reckon?” Callum teased back with a knowing grin.  
“Babe,” Ben began with a serious look on his face. “You’re a mighty fine footballer in the world of computer games – particularly when I insist ya play in ya shorts so you’re sportin’ those thighs of yours…” His expression began to loosen into an infectious grin at the very thought. “But we all know your drivin’ just ain’t up scratch. Even Lexi can beat ya at F1…”

Callum couldn’t exactly contest that point, knowing it to be true after all. “Yeah, well that probably says more about Lex’s upbringing than it does about mine…”  
Ben gave a nod as he imbibed another mouthful of hot chocolate.  
“Besides,” Callum continued. “If ya think I’m good a football on the computer, you should see me at the real thing some time…”

Ben near choked on his drink. “What, like your actual backside in a cute little pair of shorts, & your actual thighs flexing their way round an actual football pitch?”  
“M-huh…” Callum confirmed with a nod.  
Ben bit down fiercely on his bottom lip. “Name the date babe, I’ll be there…”


	307. Chapter 305

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never in the history of this fic, has it taken me so long to write what isn't even a seminal chapter. I still don't necessarily think this chapter's right, but the salient points are there, I think. Just need to get everyone in the right place for the big declaration to come...I'm imagining everyone can guess what this scene's going to pave the way towards...

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

Ben had this constant peculiar contradiction in his life, that the more dog tired he was, the less he could actually sleep. He could sustain hours of restful slumber when his world & sleeping pattern were in equilibrium, but on the nights his mind & body truly needed their downtime, sleep would rarely come. 

After the turmoil of recent days, this was one such night.

Of olden times this was in part why he sought out company after dark: as a means of distraction from the void. A stranger with a firm hand down the front of your trousers tended to blot out the unrest, after all.

Things were different now though, so, so different, as Ben lay propped on his side watching the consistent rhythmic rise & fall of his boyfriend's chest beside him. Sleep always seemed to come easily for Callum; Ben guessed that was what came of living on the clean side of life.

That a place in this bed was actually his own was something Ben still marvelled at on a near nightly basis. There was something so intimate in knowing this was their shared space: a place where they both gave & received warmth & comfort; worshipped each other, body & soul; gave their all to each other, night in, night out.

Ben's hands were listless this night more than ever before: itching to reach out & touch. Nothing sexual, necessarily, just a need for closeness. Callum deserved his sleep though, after everything Ben had put him through of late, so an inner resolve set in to be strong. Idle hands needed occupation though, & an idea began to circulate in Ben's mind as he watched over his sleeping partner: when better would an opportunity present itself, after all?

Shuffling his way out from the bed covers, eyes on Callum all the while for any signs of disturbance, Ben knelt down & carefully retrieved the box he'd hidden beneath the bed some days earlier, chuckling to himself at the recollection of the distraction techniques he'd had to since employ to prevent Callum from discovering the hidden treasure.

With that box containing Callum's birthday present now in his grasp, Ben took tiptoed footsteps from the room, careful to avoid the creaking floorboard by the door, then setting the box down on the kitchen counter, & scurrying quickly about various other locations within the flat to retrieve other gifts similarly secreted away. 

It wasn't just a birthday that Ben owed to Callum after all: amends were still to be made for their missed Christmas & Valentines too.


	308. Chapter 306

## Unseen scene of 30/03/20

The gifting of presents had always been a minefield for Ben, fraught with anxieties as to how well they'd be received, & how their value reflected back on him.

Years of watching Phil open his present with what at best could be a snarling grace, with the item bestowed then cast away as insignificant, had taught Ben to be wary.

Similarly partaking in the lavishing of gifts on Kathy had been equally unsatisfying, as she sashayed from the opening of one gift to the next, each of her children & grandchildren competing to be the best, most meaningful present giver. In truth, each gift was greeted with the same initial fluster of happiness, before it was added to the growing pile & instantly forgotten.

Present giving for Lexi was different, an unbridled joy as her face beamed with delight at whatever was revealed once the wrapping paper was torn away & messily discarded. Even she though had a tendency towards forever expecting more; eyes ever drawn to those gifts still to be opened, rather than those already received.

Callum though, was entirely different: eyes bright with wonderment at anything Ben took the time to give him… And Ben really did mean _anything_: a takeaway bacon sarnie from the Caff; the last spring roll from a takeaway; an under the quilt blowie in relief of morning wood.

A gift, to Callum, was something to pour over & treasure: he would always take his time in devouring the sight of it, then tenderly unwrap it with utter care, before admiring every inch of whatever was revealed beneath.

Ben let out an involuntary moan at just how reminiscent that was of Callum's sexual prowess, coughing down a sudden shot of arousal at the thought. 

He stalled in his wrapping of Callum's gifts, casting an anxious glance in the direction of the bedroom in case the sound of his coughing had disturbed his boyfriend's slumber. He knew better than to truly worry though, given Callum slept the deep restful slumber of an honest man.

Resolving that he wanted to himself be better for the man sleeping soundly in the next room, Ben settled back down to his wrapping; determined that it would be neater & better presented than his usual shambolic efforts.

Knelt low on the living room floor, with clusters of presents all around him, he focused in hard on his task, sniffing back occasional waves of emotion that threatened to surface for reasons he couldn't quite decipher, let alone understand.


	309. Chapter 307

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artistic licence at play here, as I cunningly ignore the fact that Callum would've knocked Ben clean out with the arm he flung across their pillows in the middle of the night...🤣

## Character perspective of actual scene of 31/03/20

Callum had always thought himself destined to exist on the periphery, & until of late, that had included in his sleeping habits too.

His earliest of memories took him back to a single bed, upon a mattress that had seen more than better days, pressed in tight to the ice cold wall, listening to the incessant snores of his brother beside him: Stuart, passed out to the world thanks to a heady combination of booze & the effects of idle thuggery.

Little had changed in Callum's Army days, save the luxury of his very own bunk: the snores remained the same, even louder though, given they emanated from multiple comrades. Callum had mistaken that spring-ridden bed to be home for month upon month, until he'd finally hit upon the realisation that wasn't his world after all.

He'd only then ricocheted though, into another uncomfortable bed, albeit for very different reasons, clinging to the very edge of the mattress as if his life depended: beside him, a beautiful, adoring woman had slept soundly, but for him that was never to be. He kept as much physical distance as possible at all times, in case she uncovered his truth.

In that very same bed he slept now though, & things couldn't be more different. Now he actively sought out close physical contact, rolling into Ben's body in the middle of the night, or raising an arm to beckon the man into him instead.

So it was a rude awakening indeed when Callum made just such a gesture in the dark of the night, subconsciously expecting Ben to curl in close to him, as ever, but receiving no such response.

At the realisation the bed beside him was cold, &:with no trace of Ben left, Callum darted from the scene, fearful that the worst of his nightmares had finally come true.


	310. Chapter 308

## Actual scene of 31/03/20

Callum staggered his way into the flat’s main living space, casting wary glances about as to whether Ben was still in situ: the door to Stuart’s room wide open, as expected given his brother was away for the night, with Ben unlikely to ever venture into there from choice anyway; the spare coat of Ben’s that had at some point infiltrated its way onto the peg rack on the landing still very much in evidence.

“Ben?” Struck suddenly by the soft illumination of the space in front of him by a single table lamp, Callum stumbled upon his man, knelt at the centre of the carpet. “Ben?” Whatever he’d been anticipating his boyfriend’s absence from their bed had meant, Callum had certainly never banked on this particular scene.

Alerted to the other man’s presence by the shadow he cast, Ben swiftly concealed the present he was midway through wrapping. “It’s not your birthday ‘til tomorrow…”  
Callum yielded instantly, averting his eyes & holding out a conciliatory arm in explanation. “I’m really sorry but I thought…”  
“You thought you fancied an early birthday present…” Ben interjected, a hint of amusement on his features, as he crouched protectively over the gift he was shielding.

With arm still held aloft in indication that his presence wasn’t a threat to Ben’s tactic of secrecy, Callum scrunched his eyes tight shut, then used his protruding hand to cautiously guide himself first around & then into the chair opposite his boyfriend: no mean feat for a man who could be notoriously awkward in organising his lanky limbs.  
Ben watched on, silently charmed by the lengths his man would go to for him.

“Ben, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad…” Callum offered his olive branch as he folded himself down into the chair, still keeping his eyes firmly shut. There was concession here: that if one couldn’t hear, & one couldn’t see, maybe they could meet on the middle ground & talk openly about their misunderstanding of earlier. “I just…”

“Ain’t nice, is it?” Ben’s fingers toyed at the wrapping paper within their grasp as he gazed up at his man. “Not knowin’ what’s goin’ on all the time…” With earlier notions of painstaking, tidy gift-wrapping abandoned, he decided it was more important to get the present in his hands under cover, so set to scrunching the paper around it hastily. 

“You haven’t got anythin’ to prove…” Callum attempted to pacify but his words were lost to Ben amongst the harsh rustle of paper.  
“Have you seen the way Danny looks at me?” The younger man began, oblivious that he’d spoken over his boyfriend, & that in a sudden stream of consciousness he’d continue to do so.

“Who cares what Danny…” Callum began to respond.  
“Like my old man, innit?” Ben shrugged in an attempt at casual indifference. “They’re old school…” With every word he spoke, the pace & precision of his wrapping became ever more erratic as he struggled with his own sense of inferiority.

Callum tried to stay calm, imbibing every sentiment his boyfriend spoke, deflecting the frustration of being talked across with a shake of the head, before offering up his own interjection again. “Ya Dad don’t even know…”  
“So much for equal diversity…” Ben continued.to pontificate.

“Wh…” Callum’s next attempt at something closer to a conversation than a one-way tirade came out as nothing more than a squeak of exasperation at the realisation Ben was about to speak again. With a huff of exasperation, Callum dropped his shoulders in resignation to his fate, knowing that sometimes, when Ben was so caught up in his own head, all he could really do was be there. 

“Ya know, last time I got a hearin’ aid, right, the little one…” Ben tapped at his impaired ear for visual emphasis, even though it was pointless given Callum’s eyes were still shut. “My Dad never even said nothin’: never asked, never wanted to know…”

Callum had instantly heard enough of the dismissive rejections his man had heard from people that purported to love him. “Maybe you won’t be like this forever…” he suggested softly, then let his own inner monologue take over. “Hopefully, the operation will work…” Somewhere in his psyche, the decision had been made to emphasise his words with the few bits of sign language he’d recently learnt from an online course; the physical movement being enough to finally capture Ben’s attention. “But you are like this now, Ben, & if your Dad don’t wanna know, then he don’t deserve you…”

Ben was suddenly silent, focusing in hard on the shape of the words falling from his boyfriend’s mouth, while dealing with the occasional buzz of distortion in his ear: it always took a while to adjust from hearing himself speak to listening to the voice of another. As he came to realise what Callum had just said, he felt the reflex relief of tension in his shoulders.

“Cos who you are, Ben, is amazin’…” Callum couldn’t resist a smile of fondness from radiating out as he voiced his latest sentiment. “Dealin’ with all of this is amazin’…You’re stronger than him or Danny can ever be…”

There was a freedom in expressing such emotion without viewing the response it received, Callum was fast realising, so he set quickly upon speaking more of what he so badly wanted to say. “And yeah, you are deaf…” He again backed up his words with occasional hand signs. “Yeah…” He reiterated the fact so simply, that in reality it changed nothing between them. “And you might always be deaf, for the rest of your life…but that is ok…”

Ben sat captivated, near choked by the generosity of his man, who had learned the basics of sign language just for him, & was now so clearly laying his devotion on the line, come whatever may in the future.  
Callum expelled a sigh then, of honest intent. “And if your Dad can’t be there for that, then…then I am…” It was a risk voicing that sort of opinion, he knew, but it was about time Ben realised at least one person in his life was capable of showing & giving love to him that was truly unconditional. 

To say Callum was apprehensive as to what sort of response that would get was an understatement though: as he waited with eyes still tight shut, a looming silence dawned in the room between them, while both men stilled, each holding their breath as to what the reaction, if anything, would be.


	311. Chapter 309

## Actual scene of 31/03/20

Ben sat quiet, enchanted & dumbfounded in equal measure, as he tried to absorb the ferocity of feeling his boyfriend had just laid out on display: the irony not lost that it had taken a distortion of one of their senses each to bring them to this point. 

Nestled down on the carpet, in silent awe at his man’s feet, Ben gave occasional self-affirming nods of the head, as if psyching himself up to something, then letting it steal from his mouth before he could let himself stop it. “I love you…” It came out on a whispered outward breath. 

Callum, whose optimism had been fading fast that his sincerity would have anywhere near the desired effect, seemed to react in slow motion, perhaps not letting himself believe those words had actually even been uttered, let alone attempting to respond to them. He began to turn his head unhurriedly, though, opening his eyes to look at his boyfriend to double check his mind hadn’t imagined what had just happened.

Ben felt his nerve falter in the instant he saw Callum’s gaze back on him, floundering against the weight of expectation he felt it impressed upon him. He cleared his throat with a nervous cough. “I…I mean erm…” then gave a loud sniff, to distract from the reality he didn’t dare look his boyfriend in the eye, opting instead to look down at the presents surrounding him.

Callum wasn’t about to stand for that sort of diversionary tactic though, pressing forward to pull at Ben’s hand & draw the man’s attention firmly back to him.  
Ben glanced upwards, grim-faced & determined, blinking through eyes that were watery with emotional uncertainty: only to find similarly glinting, tear-stained eyes entreating straight back at him.

Without disengaging their stare, Callum began to make a slow-paced gesture with his right hand, pointing it determinedly to himself, before joining it with his other hand & crossing them over his heart, then finally pointing straight & true at Ben. He mirrored his actions by mouthing out their meaning. “I. Love. You”.

Ben found himself struck by the stripped-back beauty of the gesture, momentarily petrified by it, then swiftly overcome by the power of its honesty. He gave a faint nod of his head, as if allowing himself to submit to his fate, then surged upward & forward, dropping the scissors to the floor with a clatter as he rushed into his boyfriend’s awaiting arms, pressing his lips to Callum’s in eager, intoxicated affirmation.

Warm, splayed palms soon caressed tenderly at each side of Ben’s head as the kiss deepened, affirming in their very own way, everything & more that had just been expressed.


	312. Chapter 310

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

They moulded their weight into the chair as one, neither entirely sure whether one was pulling, or the other was pushing: Callum sinking into the seat he had previously occupied first, followed swiftly by Ben straddling firmly atop him.

Callum grimaced through the inflicted pain on his still recovering injuries; Ben not so lost in the moment to miss the flinch. "How's them ribs of yours bearin' up?" he fluttered his lips to his man's as he asked the question through heated breath.  
"Good," Callum assured, maybe a little too fervent. "They're good: never better..."

Ben traced his tongue against the lower lip of Callum; quenching the taste. "And would you even tell me if they weren't?" he continued to quiz knowingly.

Callum pecked their mouths back together, continuing to speckle kisses between each & every word of his answer, which he pulled back to deliver within his lover's eyeline. "Would. Tell. You. If. It's. Too. Much..."

Ben relented back into the kiss then, satisfied no immediate damage was being caused. "You better had, mister..." he smiled provocatively, shuffling his way from his man's lap, then holding out a hand to him. "Bed?" 

It was an invitation, delivered with pitch perfect assuredness & decision, unless unlike Callum you truly knew the insecurities of the man voicing it: they weren't for this night though, so Callum bowed his head in bashful agreement, & rose to his feet. "Say it again..." he urged, while he gained vertical equilibrium.  
"Say what?" Ben queried back, slipping his arms around his man's waist & pressing in close, as he gave upward puppy eyes. 

Callum, though, wasn't about to be fobbed off; determined in what he wanted as he hustled his lips painstakingly close to Ben's, then withdrew them. "You know what..." He teased out at a whisper.  
They stared deep at each other then: both wanting so much from the other, & to give so much to the other, if Ben could just repeat those short, yet mind blowing, meaningful, sentiments.

"I love you..." the younger man eventually whispered hoarsely: eyes locked to his elder's; breaths wisping at the line of stubble on his chin.  
Callum's tongue lapped out from between his lips. "Didn't quite catch that?"

Ben shuffled his weight to stand more firmly, then tried again; a little more definitive this time. "I love you..." The conviction was there this time, but with the bravado broken down.

"Once. More..." Callum tenderly prompted, this time with an affirming kiss applied to his partner's lips. 'With feelin'..."

Ben seemed to consider the request momentarily, as if weighing up the correct response, before surging his lips towards those of his man. "I love you..." he growled out, splaying a flattened palm to his Callum's chest & beginning to push. "Now get in that bedroom, so I can show ya just how much..."


	313. Chapter 311

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Callum expelled a hearty chuckle as he allowed himself to be guided in the direction of the bedroom, Ben at some point spinning their combined weight around so he could lead his man by the hand.

Once in the room, with the door pressed firmly shut behind them, Ben pounced, yet in a manner entirely different to usual: any sense of urgency replaced instead by attentive devotion. Instigating a leisurely kiss between them, he pulled their frames in close as he trailed hands luxuriantly up & down Callum's upper arms. 

Callum felt a little confused as to what this means of seduction was, but went with it regardless, reciprocating the soothing of hands all over upper body skin.

He knew his man well enough though to know that there would always be a craving for more, so let his hands drift beneath Ben's t-shirt, tugging its hem northwards.  
Ben, though, clasped hands to Callum's to cease his momentum. "Where's ya rush? Slow it down babe..."

Callum regarded his boyfriend curiously at that, sensing this was something entirely different at play, yet struggling entirely to believe it: Ben was all about pleasure seeking & the chasing of highs, yet now he was advocating something utterly sensual.

"Wanna savour every moment..." Ben ventured to explain as his palms continued to delicately roam. "Wanna savour every touch..."

Something struck a chord within Callum at that, as he thought the man before him was long overdue some similar appreciation for his own. He leant gently forward & puckered individual kisses to his man's lips, retreating from each & every one to look him assuredly in the eye.

They fell into a trance of mutual appreciation at that, indulging in long, effortless kissing while their hands continued to caress & stroke along the muscled outlines of arms, chests & backs respectively. 

Fingers began to work their way loosely beneath t-shirts, but without any urgency to strip them clear; while tongues made explorations between mouths, without any drive to push things on. 

Ben had thought to this point he'd known every inch, every curve, of his boyfriend, but was exploring uncharted territory in the trace of fingers to bicep, & the flutter of tongue against teeth: Callum's ears meanwhile were on the receiving end of sumptuous moans of delight they'd never been treated to before.

That's not to say they were in denial of the growing interests felt beneath waist level, but both men were content to slowly explore their way & plot a different path to usual.

Ben steadily edged them backwards in the direction of the bed, somehow manouevering himself to a kneeling position at the centre of the mattress without ever threatening to dislodge their embrace; Callum leaning his upper body weight gently down & over to equally never break the contact.

"Come join..." Ben whispered, already a little breathless, while gesturing to precisely where he wanted his man.  
Callum gave a nod of acceptance, understanding intrinsically what was being asked, & shuffled himself onto his knees until he too was atop the mattress, knelt tight to Ben, just as Ben was knelt to him.

"Mmm..." Ben hummed appreciatively at the closeness of their union, leaning in to resurrect their kiss, that returned swiftly to being accompanied by roving hands. 

Ben pushed up from his haunches then, so he could correct the natural height advantage Callum had over him, leaning ever so slightly down to deepen the kiss between them while his fingers settled to play against Callum's spine.

He felt, rather than heard, the satisfied breath that teased from Callum, & instantly pined for the lack of sound effects. "Wish I could hear them breathy little noises ya make..." he admitted mid kiss. 

Callum paused their flow, equally teetering on similar regret, but determined in that moment not to voice it. Instead he too raised upon his haunches, to capture a kiss angled from above. "Don't need to hear it..." he pulled back to assert within Ben's eyeline. "Not when you can feel it..."

They fell then into an amorous clinch then, hands clasping & rummaging at any upper piece of skin they could expose, as their tongues danced in union. Ben's work-hardened fingers, calloused even in places, tracing intricate patterns along Callum's skin, while his trimmer-blunted fingernails trailed achingly delicate indents.

Ben set his weight back at some point, simply rubbing his palms up then down Callum's torso, & drinking in the sight. "How's them ribs?" he checked adoringly, clearly intent on never hurting his man.

Callum smiled easily; a glow alighting his cheeks. "All good when ya kissin' me like that..." He chased his own lips back onto Ben's, not wanting to waste another moment, when everything they needed had already been said.


	314. Chapter 312

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

"I'm in love with you... " Ben uttered while he spilt kisses to the skin of Callum's chest, which he'd just exposed into full view when stripping the t-shirt from his man's torso.

With hands & lips that determined their sole purpose was to lavish reverential touches, Ben crawled along a path that charted its sensuous way around Callum's body, depositing kisses & caresses all about his torso, until finally coming to rest behind him. Where before they had knelt into each other, Ben now knelt tucked in behind his man; their bodies nestled in perfect symmetry.

He focused his attention on Callum's shoulder blades then, speckling kisses about them, while his arms wound their way around his man's body to let hands freely rove. 

"Real & proper love..." Ben commended breathily, repeating sentiments Callum had been brave enough to voice long before him. "And it's crazy, sexy, terrifyin’..." Ben continued to express through ragged, heated breaths to his boyfriend's neckline. "But most of all, it's beautiful, just like you..."

Callum craned his neck in an instant surge of pride, wanting to combine Ben's lips with his own, but failing to succeed given the awkwardness of the angle. "Ben, I..." he began instead, only to find his words silenced by the gentle press of his boyfriend's forefinger to his lips.  
"Hush, please..." Ben softly implored. "I need to let these words out..."

Callum ceded with customary generosity to the request, dipping his head as means of submission & pecking the tiniest of kisses to the finger still held at his lips.

Ben nudged his weight in closer, leaning forward to smother effortless kisses into Callum's neck. "I do love you, & I do want your love..." He made his next whispered confession. "And I want to give you every bit of my love in return..."  
Callum had already been melting into every one of Ben's touches, but the echoing back of words & feelings from their history had him all but entirely sent. 

The sensual drag though of a singular digit from Ben down his sternum soon drew Callum's full attention back, as repeated heart shapes were traced into his skin while it continued its achingly tempting descent.


	315. Chapter 313

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Callum seized a hand to Ben's finger, halting its progress. "Thought we was takin' our time?" he queried, turning his head just enough for the movements of his mouth to be in his boyfriend's vision.

"Who says we still ain't?" Ben smiled back enigmatically, sauntering his way back around his man, still at a crawl, until they were knelt facing each other once more. "There's pure artistry involved in this means of seduction, ya know..."

"Don't exactly need to seduce me, do ya?" Callum huffed out a hot breath of amusement, their faces in effortlessly close proximity. "Think we re a fair bit beyond that phase in our relationship already, & we both already know I'm yours..."

"Mine..." A twitch played at the very edge of Ben's mouth as he whispered back the sentiment, before repeating it again in an altogether hungrier tone. "All mine..."

He sealed their lips passionately together in a clinch, thrilling at the possibility he could take ownership of this man - his man - then leant back to give some further consideration while he licked his lips. "Fancy yaself as an honorary part of the Mitchell family, do ya?"

Callum raised an eyebrow & responded with a similar lick of tongue to his own lips. "Only one part of the Mitchell family I fancy, & I'm lookin' right at 'im..."

Ben was gone within the instant, a whimper of jolting desire bursting from him with pride as he marvelled at how far Callum had come: no longer afraid to put his desires on show, or to voice them, Callum now truly was both his own man & Ben's man.

Ben surged their mouths back together, with a force so sudden their noses all but collided & a grunt of surprise was prized from Callum's lungs. 

"Fuck..." Ben clammered ever closer into his man. "You have no idea what you sayin' that does to me, & that's without me even bein' able to hear it".   
"Oh I reckon I got a fair idea..." Callum chuckled, linking his hands at the back of Ben's spine, near pulling his boyfriend into his lap.

It was an invitation Ben couldn't resist, leaning his weight back into the unfaltering security of Callum's palms until he could free his legs & hurl them to either side of his man until fully straddling him. 

"So..." Callum smiled as Ben bound his arms over his shoulders, to join each other together in the closest of embraces. "About them presents you was just wrappin' for me..."  
"Not ya birthday yet babe," Ben beamed with a smirk. "I ain't at liberty to tell ya anythin' about them..."

"Not even if I ask very, very nicely?" Callum suggested before teasing a ghosting of his lips against those of his boyfriend.  
"Not even then..." Ben held the stance, their mouths within touching distance. "I do have a suggestion of one early present you could unwrap in bed tonight though..." With a shameless buck of his hips, he left little to the imagination as to what his boxers were concealing.

"Well..." For the briefest of moments, Callum captured his boyfriend's lower lip with his teeth, then pulled away again. "There ain't much I like better than unwrappin' a present..." he mused, taking care to be in clear eyeshot of Ben. 

With subtlety, Callum began to slip his hands down to the elastic of Ben's waistband. "I like to tease the wrappin' away from itself real slowly..." he began to explain, while his fingers mirrored the actions of his words. "Maybe sneak one finger just below the wrappin' at some point, to get an early hint of what might be waitin' beneath..."

Ben expelled a heavy breath as he felt Callum follow through with his words, hooking a single finger inside of his shorts. "Then what would ya do babe?" Ben prompted in breathy expectation from astride his man: this being their first foray into a little sexy-talking foreplay, he wanted to be encouraging.

"Then?" Callum's tongue involuntarily flicked out between his lips: always a tell that he was concentrating hard. "Then I guess I'd have a bit of a rummage..."  
Ben instantly convulsed into a fit of giggles atop his man. "Wow, never been asked if someone can take themselves a rummage in my boxers before".

Callum gave a bashful shake of his head. "Always told ya I ain't exactly good with words..."  
"Er, says the man who just made the most beautiful off-the-cuff speech to me..." Ben refuted, with a shuffle of his weight. "And, for the record, you are welcome to take yourself a rummage any time ya like..."

Callum quirked an eyebrow, uncertain as to whether he was being teased or not.  
"Yep," Ben reiterated with a grin. "You can take yaself a rummage, a rootle, a fondle, a tickle, a..."

Ben found his list of mischievous suggestions silence as Callum crashed their lips back together. "Don't need words, anyway..." the elder man retaliated boldly. "Not when I can use actions..."

It was Ben's turn to have the wind temporarily starved from his lungs, as without warning Callum pushed him back against the mattress, pinning his hands above his head & crowding over the top of him.

"Go on then, Action Man..." Ben writhed beneath his man's hold with gleeful anticipation. "Show me what ya got..."


	316. Chapter 314

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How can it be 5 days since I last posted already? Considering we're back in lockdown, the days really seem to be flying by...Must do better...

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

The sprinkling caresses of Callum's kisses to his abdomen were slowly, tortuously, driving Ben wild. But only in the most thrilling, most exquisite of ways: he could happily submit to this forever, he thought to himself.

It hadn't always been this way, of course. Night time shenanigans more usually a hit & run affair with nameless strangers whose faces were instantly forgotten. Rarely in a bed, rarer even still with feelings involved, & never with Ben not being entirely in control.

Things were so different now though with Callum, who had Ben stripped bare, both physically & emotionally, & had him pinned down into the mattress with invigorating ease. 

With a surrendering sigh torn from him by the latest feathering of Callum's lips against his skin, which had his stomach contracting with sheer pleasure, Ben whispered out an admission. It felt like a night for confessions after all. "Had my wish granted today..."

Callum stalled mid-ministrations, his tongue flicking out between his lips as he sauntered his way back up his man's body. "Yeah?" he greeted the assertion with familiar warmth; pupils darkened by desire as he held his head in close stasis to hover over Ben's. "How so?" He didn't wait for the answer, dipping his mouth to his boyfriend's neck to sucker his claim against it.

"Our trip to the planetarium..." Ben elucidated as he writhed in rapture at the combination of Callum's pleasuring lips & the crowding of weight atop him. Ben's ever developing hard-on, which his boyfriend had been so wilfully neglecting to this point, finally rewarded with the firm press of muscle against it.

"The wishes we made on the shootin' star..." Ben's mouth momentarily fell open in ecstasy as he tried to gasp his sentence out. "My wish was that I could actually tell ya how I feel..."

Callum lifted his head to hold it steady over Ben's again, at such close quarters they could all but inhale the breaths of one another. "Guess we should be thankin' our lucky stars then..." he smiled adoringly, eyes locked to those of his man.

Ben wrestled himself back a little possibility for manoeuvre in that hiatus, distracting Callum from the fact he was doing so by combining their mouths in a probing kiss. "You gonna tell me what your wish was then?" He tried to exhort the secret from his man by kissing him into submission.

"Can't do that..." Callum rejected adamantly upon a hot, lingering breath.  
"Course ya can..." Ben continued his act of persuasion, briefly seizing the man's lower lip in his mouth to suck seductively upon it. "It'd just be our little secret..."  
"Can't take that risk..." Callum remained unrelenting. "Won't come true if I reveal it..."

"That your final answer on the matter?" Ben cajoled for a final time, pouting his lips in question.  
"Final answer..." Callum confirmed, chasing his own lips back to those puckered beneath him.

"Right, well..." Ben submitted to another kiss between them, luxuriating in its softness. "Guess I'll have to work it out of ya another way..." Without any further warning, Ben surged upwards, pushing them into a combined sideways roll, until he was left firmly on top.


	317. Chapter 315

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel duty bound to put a content warning on this chapter, but let's call it light shenanigans rather than actual smut (which I imagine we will be cascading towards in chapters to come...)

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Ben slid a knee between Callum's legs to nudge tantalisingly at his crotch while he plummeted his mouth to the man's Adam's Apple. "Fuck babe, you with a stiffy in them flimsy little grey shorts of yours is truly a sight to behold..."

Ben could barely restrain himself at the prospect, grinding his own arousal into Callum's hip as he nipped & sucked at the neckline flesh on offer. "Reckon I could get us both off just like this..." His knee again rubbed at his boyfriend's clothed cock as he rocked a rhythm against him. "What d'ya reckon?"

Callum gulped down hard at the suggestion, recognising it to likely be true, but also a means of instant gratification he wouldn't allow them to submit to. He moved a finger to beneath Ben's chin, guiding it upwards to look at him. "Reckon we can do better than that, don't you?" he encouraged with a radiating grin.

He then snaked a hand down between them, taking Ben's dick in his fist, & applying long, caressing strokes to it.

Ben threw his head back in instant bliss, mouth gaping open at the contact: this was what he so loved about Callum, the one man in the world who could alter his course or momentum with a single touch alone. Where Ben had been in a head rush towards wanton release, Callum had stilled him back to the sensual.

As Ben returned steadily back to his senses, he dipped his head forward again to reconnect his lips to Callum's. Their kiss was messy - full of want, need & promise - but both men were sated by it, falling in with the rhythm of Callum's tender strokes.

Ben set back on his haunches & delivered a silent prayer of worship to whoever above had delivered this man to him, while the beginnings of a flick from Callum's wrist took the pleasure he was experiencing to a new level of high.

The thought gnawed at Ben though that theirs was a relationship, not a passing acquaintance, & that this should be an experience of shared pleasure rather than selfish taking alone. 

He let the fingers of one hand drift their way idlely behind him to tug at the hem of Callum's boxers. "These comin' off any time soon?" he then pondered wistfully out loud, just before an unexpected sweep of Callum's thumb across the tip of his cock very nearly derailed the thought.

"You want 'em off, you take 'em off..." Callum replied, as casually as he might respond to a passer by enquiring about the time.

Ben's eyes had already been focused on his man's lips, of course, in expectation of a response: just maybe not that particular response. There was a moment where he wavered, suspecting he'd misread the mood, but the look of expectant greed in Callum's eyes told a very different story.  
"Oh god..." Ben marvelled at a whimper. "I love it when you get all commandin' on me". 

Callum smiled mischievously at the prompt, releasing his grip on his boyfriend's cock, trailing seductive fingers laced with pre-cum delicately up Ben's sternum instead. "In which case, I command you to strip me shorts off..."

"Yes, Sir!" Ben saluted his deference to the instruction, then scurried his way down his man's body, pulling Callum's boxers down as he went.

With thirsty eyes, Ben gazed in awe at the delight that sprung free, & as he licked his lips in drunken anticipation, his eyes locked deliciously with those of Callum above him.


	318. Chapter 316

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now, here's a thing...I set off writing this chapter thinking I knew where it was going, but it turns out not: What was meant to be the content of two consecutive chapters has amalgamated into one...
> 
> I'm still not sure what I actually think of this chapter: it definitely starts as I thought it would, but ends with a line I had thought the following chapter would end with...
> 
> All of which begs the question, how am I actually going to write the next chapter - which is already canon in my mind - when I've prematurely stolen its ending...But hey, that's my problem, not yours: but maybe the fellow writers among you will understand.
> 
> I have no idea if this works, so I'm just putting this chapter out before I change my mind, accompanied by an advisory smut warning...

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Ben smoothed his palms to Callum's thighs, & teased his tongue all along the underside of his boyfriend's stiffened length, but they were actions tinged more with regret than intent, & Callum could instantly recognise it.

There was a reason Ben hadn't gone down on him since the loss of his hearing after all, & it wasn't the sudden onset of a dislike of taste or sensation. For Ben, the pleasure in giving head was as much the vocal response it received from his subject as the physicality of the act itself. He adored the groans of delight & encouragement in response to every flick of his tongue or hollowing of his cheeks.

From Callum, it was the breathily sharp intakes & quivering expulsions of air that Ben loved best to extract: Callum knew that to be so from a post-coital chat about Ben's repertoire of noises in the heat of passion, when the man had made clear that he was equally turned on by Callum's more understated vocals while in the throes.

As Ben crowded in closer to Callum's lap, short, rasping breaths emitting a heat that made the cock before him twitch in expectation, Callum thought back to the earlier admission of sadness from Ben that he couldn't hear the notes of pleasure associated with their acts of love, & fell a little more for the man that he'd do this regardless.

Their eyes met again, at which Callum gave a demonstratively deliberate nod of his head, urging his man into action: a suggestion to which Ben didn't disappoint, mouth laying urgent claim as it took in Callum's manhood, eyes locked to those of his boyfriend all the while. 

Callum took his decision in a split second then: that he could simulate the sounds Ben was coaxing from him in a visual way that would translate. Aware that Ben's eyes were still trained on him, Callum let his mouth fall open as his boyfriend's mouth set to work, then tipped his head fully back in ecstasy when Ben took him in deeper.

Callum already knew Ben was appreciative from the hum in his throat that shot an instant spark through his dick, but that didn't mean the elder man was done yet: his time had come to put on a show for his man.

Pushing his whole upper body weight upwards from the mattress, Callum was enthralled to find he still had his boyfriend's full attention, so let his mouth fall open again, this time expelling a series of short, erratic breaths that made his chest heave with a rise & fall, over & over again.

It had the desired effect in making an overt show of his pleasure to Ben, who slipped his lips from his man to brush away a trail of spittle from his mouth with the back of his hand. "Fuck, babe..."

Callum simply gave a mischievous smile, while indicating that he wanted his partner's gaze to stay fixed firmly upon him. He then arched his weight to lie flat against the mattress, & raised his arms until his hands took a grip on the wooden slats of the bed head. 

Ben's mouth fell open in surprise at the sight of his boyfriend lay there, strung out & expectant, for him.   
Callum though just raised his head a little to quirk an eyebrow in question as to what exactly his man was waiting for: a formal written invitation?

Ben took the hint, crawling into the gap Callum's change of position had instilled between them, so that he could connect mouth to cock once more. 

As Ben insistently worked his man over with a combination of lips, tongue & teeth, he delighted in the sight above him of Callum's abdomen tightening & contracting with pleasure: tiny ripples seeming to run their way from the very innards of his stomach to the surface of his skin, as if actual soundwaves of desire.

The scene did something to Ben, he didn't mind to admit, as he took himself in hand & gave pleasuring strokes to relieve his own burn a little. As he glanced up & saw Callum watching his every move through arousal-darkened eyes, he knew he was a goner just as much, so sped up the intensity for them both, suddenly intent that release for them should come together.

It was close for each of them, he knew: the expanding weight of Callum in his mouth, combined with the man's knuckles straining white against their grip, a certain sign. 

Ben popped his mouth off Callum's appendage one last time, desperate to commend his actions with words. "You're a fuckin' dreamboat babe..." He didn't need or want a reply, simply filling his lungs with air, then plunging back onto his man's drooling cock.

Callum both shuddered at the action & chuckled at the sentiment as he felt Ben envelope him once more. Unable to resist the temptation, he prized a hand from the bed & sought out one of Ben's, where it still rubbed at his thigh.

Linking their hands together, in a final act before he let his crescendo wash over him, Callum guided Ben to rest a palm at his upper abdomen, then let rip with all his might.

Ben near choked at first, momentarily startled by the ferocity of his boyfriend's climax as it reverberated not just into his mouth but in vibrating waves against his splayed palm as well. 

It was response & counter response though, as Ben found his own load releasing in reaction to what he'd both seen & felt. With a moan, & then a laden grunt, he pulled off from Callum's spent cock, & collapsed onto him as an equally sated force.

Calm, quiet, minutes passed between them then as they caught their breath, until Ben suddenly looked up with an intent, searching gaze. "Did you just roar?" He asked the words near disbelievingly.

Callum cast a hand to his boyfriend's hair, & began to trail fingers through it. "Might've done..." he smiled in a manner non-committal, although they both recognised him to be a terrible liar.

"Fuçk babe..." Ben conceded, as he dipped his head to rest at Callum's chest. "That's hot: not just that I made ya roar, but that I felt ya roar even though I couldn't hear ya..."

Callum continued to card gentle fingers through his man's hair, trying not to respond, even though the smile on his face was likely betraying him.  
Ben snuck a gentle kiss to Callum's breastbone, a wry smile visible too across his own features . "Gives a whole new meanin' to my bedtime story for Lex about Daddy Lion, don't it..."


	319. Chapter 317

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Through means unbeknown to either of them, they'd swiftly set about kissing in their post-orgasmic haze: Ben atop Callum as they wiled away minutes mid snog & fumble. 

"Fuck..." Ben pulled briefly away to gasp at some air. "I should tell you I love you more often..."

Callum gave back an emphatic stare - "You really, really should..." - then crashed their mouths back together before pulling back himself, speaking again only when he was certain Ben could see him. "Oh, & you really should stop that swearin' when we're in bed..."

It was a jovial prod at one of Ben's ticks, they both knew, but he wasn't about to do anything other than surge forward with it. "It ain't done gratuitously, babe..." he began to reason out loud. "It's done to differentiate..."

Callum looked confused, already suspecting he was about to lose the battle, but submitting to it regardless. "Go on then..." he pecked a kiss of approval to his beau's lips. "Enlighten me..."

"Simple, ain't it?" Ben shrugged, returning a pecked kiss of his own. "If I'm givin' ya a compliment about this bad boy... " He snaked a hand south as he spoke, latching it on to Callum's cock, which immediately betrayed the man by perking up with interest.

"Me sayin' it's a big one ain't really gonna cut the mustard, is it?" Ben reasoned with a delicate tug to the growing specimen in his hand. "If, though, I say it's fuckin' enormous, well, that gets me point across better, don't it?"

Callum breathed out a sigh at the renewing, reviving, contact, already struggling to get his next words out amongst the bliss. "And what exactly would that point be?"

Ben smirked in that salacious manner only he could muster. "My point bein'..." he smothered his lips to Callum's as he simultaneously stroked again at the man's length. "This beauty..." - he gave a demonstrative flick of his wrist – “is definitely enormous, & as for that other word..." He stalled mid-sentence to sprawl himself over Callum while he leant over to acquire lube & a condom from a bedside drawer. "That other word is my statement of intent about what I'm gonna do to render you senseless..."


	320. Chapter 318

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it absolutely isn't me who's currently juggling keeping this present narrative smut-filled love-in going, while furiously writing some chapters around last night's glorious onscreen scenes while they're fresh in my mind. Multitasking at its absolute best: three chapters already written today, & counting...still, all that 💍 excitement is a fair way off here, given I'm currently 10 months behind onscreen canon 🤦♀️
> 
> A mild smut warning for this one, with the likelihood of full-on smut for one or two chapters thereafter...

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

"Ben, fuck. please..." Callum moaned at a volume he hadn't thought himself capable as he attempted to spur his boyfriend into speeding matters up.

Ben gave a nip to the man's earlobe as he whispered breathily against it. "Thought we'd banned swearwords in the bedroom..." He was being intentionally obtuse, & they both knew it: He had just slipped several probing fingers out from deep within his boyfriend, & was now concentrating them instead at the delicate fabric of his perineum. 

"You're bein' a tease..." Callum managed to grumble out his dissatisfaction between jagged breaths.  
Ben though just leant his face in close to that of his man, while his fingers continued their impromptu exploration. "No, I'm bein' an attentive, selfless lover..."

Callum scoffed at the suggestion, but writhed his body deeper into any bit of contact with Ben it could make, including capturing their mouths together in a sultry kiss, which he eventually retreated from with a lick of his lips. "Yeah, well, any chance one particular bit of your anatomy could give me some of that attention?" He made a deliberate glance in the direction of his boyfriend's erection, straining just as was his own.

Ben didn't catch every word of the request, but understood well enough to get the gist. "Since when'd you get so demandin' in the bedroom?" he quipped back with a softened smile meant only for the privacy of their relationship. In truth, he thrilled that Callum was now so comfortable in his own skin & associated desires.

Leaning firmly across his man - with a particular firmness at the point his own arousal could dig against Callum's hipbone - Ben reached to seek out the condom he'd retrieved earlier. He barely had a grip though on the flexible foil packet before it was knocked with intent from his hand. 

"Not tonight..." Callum entreated, as passion flamed in his eyes. "Wanna feel every inch of ya with ya guard down tonight..."

Ben surged back to horizontal atop his man at that assertion, turned on by the intimacy of the notion more than he could adequately explain. This was a conversation they'd had before, but it felt so much more powerful on this of all nights.

He pressed gentle kisses at the corners of his man's mouth, then sat back to regard him intently. "You sure?" His fingers, laden with desire, crept their way slowly down Callum's sternum as he fumbled for the right words. "I mean, I don't want ya judgement bein' clouded by me sayin' I love ya or anythin'..."  
"I am sure..." Callum agreed in total certainty. "Never been more sure in my life". 

It took Ben's breath away to see such conviction before him, so he sank back down onto his man, wanting solely to give him every sensation of love he so deserved. "Let me give ya somethin' proper special then..." he whispered out while mouthing heated, wet kisses at his man's neck. 

As his mouth continued its seducing work, Ben slid his body carefully from his man, taking the lube with him as he went. "Roll over for me baby: onto yer side..." he instructed in shallow, breathy tones as he took himself in hand to drizzle lubricant on himself. "Gonna make sure this feels so good for ya..."


	321. Chapter 319

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Ben smouldered kisses from the outer edge of Callum's shoulder to the central point of the vertebrae at the top of his spine as he spooned in ever closer, in preparation for the most intimate of unions with his man.

He sensed a building tension though, that hadn't been present before. "Why so tense?" he whispered as a reflected breath against his boyfriend's soft skin. "Relax, baby..."

Callum wanted so much to acquiesce to the suggestion - to wilt into Ben's arms - but he just couldn't quite, despite himself. He expelled a heavy sigh, that transmitted instantly through to Ben, who transferred a solid arm to wrap around his waist, guiding him back round in his direction. "If you've changed ya mind..."

Callum nestled his head into Ben's welcoming neck, a little bashful, a little ashamed. "I just..."  
Slipping a gentle hand to his man's chin, Ben guided Callum's gaze upwards. "Didn't catch that babe..."

"It's just, we haven't..." Callum tried his best to begin to explain. "I haven't..."  
Ben's eyes continually scanned his boyfriend's features, desperate to understand. 

The returned look of genuine concern was enough to dishearten Callum, yet peculiarly reassure him at the same time. He gathered up his bravery & looked at Ben direct. 

"We've never..." he swallowed down the anxiety in his voice. "We've never had sex when we ain't been able to look at each other..." The beginnings of a blush began to creep along his cheeks. "Not when we've done it this way round, at least..."

Ben was both charmed by the honesty, & unnerved by the vulnerability on show, but he understood it, he truly did. "I forget sometimes..." he whispered softly, commencing apologetic kisses against his man's mouth. 

"That this is all still so new to ya: that you'll still have some insecurities along the way. And that..." he paused, the simplistic beauty of something Callum had said earlier coming back to mind. "That is ok..."

They sank back into a delicate kiss: Callum's trepidation diminishing in the light of such compassion; Ben just relieved that he hadn't insensitively blown the mood of the whole night apart.

The kiss inevitably deepened, Callum clasping his hands to the back of Ben's neck, desperate to draw them back together into a closeness that was more familiar. Ben utterly willing to take a lead now from his man, wanting only to put a physical seal on the love he had earlier declared.

With eyes locked firm to one another, & some unsubtle shuffling of their bodies, Ben slowly entered his man, & began to rock in deep at an unhurried, steady pace: their gaze never breaking all the while.

"Never, ever a hardship to be starin' into them baby blues..." Ben smiled adoringly, as he perfected the consistency & depth of his rhythm. 

Callum exhaled shakily, already a little taken apart by the sensation. There was something in the manner of Ben's expression that spoke of such conviction & assurance though, that a sudden flicker of determination sparked in his mind.

"I trust ya..." Callum enunciated slowly to ensure Ben could follow his meaning. "I trust ya more than I trust meself, so I wanna try again..."

Ben didn't stall in continuing his penetrating motion, simply regarding his boyfriend with searching intent. "You sure? We don't hav'ta do anythin' you ain't totally comfortable with..." He reinforced his words with a soft kiss to the skin directly above Callum's heart.

"I want to..." Callum affirmed in return. "I love ya, I trust ya, & I wanna try that again..."

As Ben searched again in Callum's eyes for any hint that his words were betraying his true feelings, he found none, so gave an accepting nod of his head, just as an idea began to form in his mind.

Dipping low to press a tender kiss to the lips of his lover, Ben delivered one last long thrust deep within his man in promise of more soon to come. "Stay right where you are gorgeous..." he instructed as he carefully withdrew, then pushed himself up from the bed. "I just need to fetch us somethin'..."

Callum watched on, bemused, as Ben, with full-blown erection & all, strode his way to the bedroom door.

"Er, I ain't likely to bump into Uncle Fester, am I?" Ben glanced back sheepishly just as his pressed down on the door handle.  
"Nah," Callum gave a shake of his head. "Got the flat to ourselves..."

"Good," Ben grinned wickedly, "cos I've got no interest in turnin' a second Highway brother with a glimpse of the goods I've got to offer..."

With a mischievous wink, he strutted his way from the room, leaving Callum to wonder uncertainly in his wake. "Ben? Watcha doin'?"


	322. Chapter 320

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

"What the?" Callum couldn't suppress his surprise as Ben returned to the bedroom, shielding his genitalia with an, as yet unidentifiable, flat, rectangular object. "What even is that?" He couldn't mask the uncertainty in his question.

"This is my apology that I took you, & more specifically the speed you might wanna take experimentation at, for granted". Ben began to slowly turn the object in his hands to fully reveal itself. "But also to say that I love you, & everythin' I wanna give you is absolutely for real..."

"I know that, & I trust that..." Callum smiled back sincerely, even if still not entirely sure where his boyfriend's mind was headed. There was a bigger, more pressing enquiry, he had to make first though: "Where'd ya even find that?"

Ben smiled easily as he made his way around to the far side of the bed. "It's been propped against the wall behind ya bathroom door for months...at least for as long as we first got down to business..."

Callum chuckled coyly at the notion: it seemed the most peculiar conversation to be having when they were both in the buff & a state of arousal. "Oh yeah, Stu's been bangin' on about hangin' it on the wall for months, just ain't got round to it. I'd stopped noticin' it was even there, to be honest..."

"Mmmm," Ben acknowledged in distracted tones as he positioned the item on the top of the set of bedside drawers. "Amazin' the things we all manage to ignore in plain sight eh? Now, does this need movin' a bit to the left or a bit to the right?" He looked at his boyfriend intently as he awaited the answer.

"Er, I ain't sure I follow..." Callum admitted, having in truth been too captivated by the vision of a naked full-frontal Ben to really take in what the man was actually doing. An idle hand had found its way to his own erection, loosely stroking himself at the sight.

"Oh babe..." Ben sucked in a breath of air at the realisation of what his man was doing, delivering a similar tug of anticipation to himself. "Let me give ya a hand with that, & I'll show ya exactly what I mean..."


	323. Chapter 321

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Callum observed through lust-darkened eyes as Ben's teeth met with his neck to graze a blossoming red mark to the tender skin they found there. 

As Ben then flicked his tongue out to lap successive soothing marks at the abrasion, a moan of want escaped from Callum, reverberating through his throat.

"This meet with yer approval then, yeah?" Ben gave a delicious smirk in the direction of the mirror he'd set in position to the side of the bed, holding the gaze of his man, firm yet effortless, within the reflection. 

"You know it does..." Callum growled out in combination with giving the briefest nod of agreement.

"Happy to be of service..." Ben beamed boastfully, then dropped his tone to something more serious. Enticing. Encouraging. "You happy to move this along a bit then: now we're sorted in the eye contact department?" He nuzzled at his man's neck as he waited to receive an answer in the mirror: no pressure, no ultimatum.

"So ready..." Callum exhaled in heavy anticipation, the intent of which brought instant satisfaction to his man.  
"Sexy. Boy..." Ben drawled out admiringly, in a breathy rasp that was intentionally similar to the synth pop song lyric he'd heard in many a gay club, as he puckered generous kisses to his man's shoulder. "Scoot down a bit for me then, babe..."

As Callum repositioned himself on the mattress, Ben teetered his weight over him to lean off the bed & adjust the mirror's angle accordingly.   
Callum, finding the alluring proximity of his boyfriend too hot a proposition to ignore, arched upwards to tease delicate kisses against the man's stomach, causing Ben to near topple over in surprise.

"Babe..." he growled out in approval once he'd gained his equilibrium. "This mouth of yours is on fire today..."  
Callum looked up into the praise & offered his own honest appraisal of matters. "Burns only for you..."

Ben felt a whimper rush from within. "And so me for you..." He declared with an emotional honesty neither of them were used to, setting down to horizontal over his man & connecting their mouths for a kiss, slow & deep.

With expert litheness, in time Ben slid from the kiss & his boyfriend, smothering & nibbling kisses from corner of mouth to cheek to jawline as he tucked in close behind him. With eye contact reconnected in the reflection of the mirror, he took his time, showering the skin of Callum's neck & shoulders in peppered kisses, while a single finger scaled a leisurely tickling trail down, then back up, the man's spine.

Callum kept his gaze locked with Ben's while he felt himself succumb a little deeper to each exquisite touch. At times, it was only the tops of Ben's eyes he could see, as the man ducked lower to scatter kisses at his back. Wherever Ben's kisses went though, the glinting blue of his eyes stayed visible to Callum & fixed upon him.

The depth of Callum's breathing was evident to Ben too in the fluctuating rise of his shoulder blades, & he found himself drawn into the rhythm they punctuated. "My god, you are beautiful..." he rose up to whisper in a hot breath that bristled against his boyfriend's stubble. "Beautiful, sexy & brilliant..."

Realising his eyes had wandered from their reflected contact with Callum's, Ben set himself back down & gazed back to the mirror, where he found his man still watching his every move. Where before though Ben had sensed trepidation, he now only saw anticipation.

Ben caressed one hand along Callum's side, while the other rippled its way down his back. Where the one hand stilled as it hit upon the man's hipbone, the other continued its descent until it found the fleshy temptation of Callum's arse.

"This ok?" Ben paused to check in, only the thumb of the hand at Callum's hip moving as it smoothed gentle circles against the bone.  
"So good..." Callum affirmed, craning his neck to share a kiss, then turning back to resurrect both position & eye contact.

Ben had used the brief opportunity of Callum's distraction to relocate both of his hands to the man's buttocks, at which he began to gently knead. "This ok?" he questioned again, earning a nod of agreement in return.

Ben was skilled in this art of cajoling seduction, there could be no doubt, as he'd soon worked one of Callum's legs to be spread wide from the other & bent at the knee against the mattress, all with Callum barely noticing the action but agreeing his consent to continue every time.

"You want my fingers again first babe, or...?" Ben queried softly as he reached for the lube.  
"Or..." Callum urged without an inkling of hesitation. "Definitely or.."


	324. Chapter 322

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sounding the long chapter klaxon, with an added warning for significant smut, albeit smut that is undoubtedly complete with feelings...

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Ben eased into Callum with patient attention, stilling momentarily now & then to allow for adjustment, then pressing in deeper. This wasn't about the physicality of the act, he understood - they were each equally versed in taking either part in this relationship - it was though about tender reassurance to Callum that he could do this, take this, in a manner other than missionary.

They held eye contact in the mirror as Ben caressed & stroked his way in, occasional words of encouragement falling from his lips as they fluttered at the man's neck: "Feel so good baby". "Gonna make ya feel so good..." Eye contact maintained all the while.

There was deeper meaning here for Ben than he could possibly hope to put into words, but he hoped he could convey it in touch & sensation alone.

This was a most intimate of positions for him, you see, one that he had practiced with just one man in his life before: Paul. With precision & timing could come deep penetration, taken then to a yet higher level with stamina brought into play as well.

Paul had taught Ben all of that - treated him to all of that - by taking the lead role that in turn it was now Ben's to take with Callum.

Deeper embedded now, Ben stilled again, ghosting his lips from the vertebrae at the top of his boyfriend's spine all the way to its base, then all the way back up again. "This ok?" he checked at an assured whisper that tugged at Callum's ear: eye contact renewed again.

Callum emitted a long breath, akin to a sigh, still adjusting to every flicker of sensation Ben was starting to give him. Unable to summon the words, he instead formed the sign language equivalent to confirm that all was ok.

Such sincerity struck at Ben deep, as he realised again the depth of understanding between them. He stared intently into Callum's eyes, seeking an assurance he already knew he'd find, & began to slowly move, arching his waist into his man then pulling it back. Again, again, again.

He slipped into a metronome rhythm, mouth suckling at Callum's neck in time with the motion. Their eyes never blinking away from each other all the while.

"Feels, baby?" Ben uttered into the air between them, as he traced a finger in a line down Callum's chest.  
"Feels..." the elder man repeated, tongue lapping out to quench at dry lips. "Definitely feels..."

With affirmation that all was well, Ben slowly pushed himself up onto his forearms, where he could hover over & above Callum, yet still dip his head back down to remain in view of the mirror. 

From that heightened angle, Ben began to glide in deeper still to his man, nudging tantalisingly at the most pleasurable bundle of nerves, then retreating away. Again, again, again.

Callum was already aware stars were shooting beneath his eyelids from that pleasuring repetition alone, but he denied his vision the opportunity to shut down for even a second, captivated as he was by the sight of Ben: over him, around him, in him.

The merest formation of sweat was forming at Ben's hairline in early indication of the effort he was building; the muscles in his upper arms already flexing from the repetition of his motion.

Callum was used to Ben being active & assertive in bed, but this somehow was different, as if the exertion was all in his measured sense of control.

Ben straddled a leg to rest it fully on Callum's far side. "Babe?" he simply questioned this time, knowing how irritated he'd be by now if asked the same question over & over again: it was an answer he still wanted from his boyfriend though.

Callum responded with a nod of confirmation, reaching to pucker his lips to Ben's bicep to deposit a kiss there. He found himself so intrigued by the straining outline of those muscles though that he kept his mouth there, itemising each & every sinew with a lick or suck.

Ben shuddered out a breath at the sight of Callum with lips firm upon him but gaze between them unrelenting: a vision that transported him to instances of blow jobs delivered bygone. Callum, after all, had the effortless charm of giving puppy dog eyes while simultaneously delivering the mother of all head.

Spurred on by that thought, Ben quickened his pace to give a succession of probing thrusts, watching on in fascination as Callum at first managed to absorb them but then began to stutter apart.

Lips that just seconds earlier had been casting a sinful trail against Ben's biceps, fell from their prey & instead dropped open in need. 

At the sight of Callum's eyes drifting shut, Ben picked up his pace yet further, snapping his hips forward to a staccato pace that he knew he couldn't maintain for long.

Neither apparently could Callum, whose body began to tense with the tell-tale signs of approaching orgasm: Ben wasn't ready though to cede that to him just yet.

Steadying his pace back down to long, delving strokes, Ben shuffled his weight off of his forearms, & swiftly deployed a halting hand to the base of Callum's cock. "Ride the wave baby..." he cooed at the man's ear. "Don't let it wash over you yet..."

Callum's eyes flickered back open at the unexpected pause to proceedings, meeting Ben's in the mirror once more. "Ride the wave for now & wait for somethin' bigger..." Ben continued to explain at a seductive whisper, near stilling his movements within his boyfriend until the threat of crescendo had passed.

"Yeah..." Callum nodded in breathless acceptance. "Yeah..." as he started to get himself back under a semblance of control.  
"Good boy..." Ben rewarded his partner's mastery of self-control with a nibble at his ear lobe, accompanied by a slow drag of his hand along the man's length. 

As his fingers reached its head, Ben ran one over the slit, letting a drool of pre-cum pool against its pad, then relocating the finger to press at Callum's mouth.

Callum lapped at the finger eagerly, moaning at the taste of himself, then sucking the digit fully into his mouth.

Ben watched on in transfixed awe, wanting to give the man before him nothing less than everything he had. While he loved the pleasure of crowding over Callum, being all surrounding of a frame that was more usually larger than his, Ben knew still there was a higher plane he could take them to.

He permitted himself a moment's breather, sinking deep into his man & holding himself there while he mouthed & nuzzled at his neck.  
Callum, still sucking down against his finger, observing with silent intrigue.

Ben then carefully repositioned himself until spooning tight into his man, with chin propped upon his shoulder. "You ready for some more?" He growled at his ear.

Callum rocked himself back onto his boyfriend in silent confirmation.   
"God," Ben praised as he freed his finger from the man's mouth, letting it roam a line down his chin & neck, then on to his chest. "You are fuckin' divine..."

Pressing his hands firm at Callum's chest to hold him in close, Ben set to work, reviving his earlier thrusting rhythm: driving into his man from fully side-on offering up less shock absorption than before, so adding real power to his efforts.

Ben loved everything about this position: its physicality; the intimacy of being so closely bound with another; the sheer exertion it required from him. 

But most of all he loved best the effect this stance had on Callum's proudly erect cock, which bounced energetically at his stomach with the shockwave of each & every surge.

Even with his gaze still fixed hard to Callum's in the mirror, Ben could catch that glorious bobbing movement in the corner of his eye; turned on by the mere notion of what effect such a double stimulation would be having on his man.

"Fuck Ben..." Callum spluttered out upon a half-choked breath. "Fuck..."  
Ben pulled his man in tighter still & began to snicker kisses at his neck & throat. "I've got ya baby..." he assured in a voice that was now husky with want.

Callum's eyes flickered shut as he took in every thrill he was experiencing, near overcome by the intensity of it all. He thought himself selfish though, to be closing his eyes to see glimmering stars, when the brightest star of all was reflected behind him, giving him his all.

He gently reopened his eyes to find Ben's still watching him intently: shimmering, devouring eyes that were blown with desire, yet still endlessly compassionate & sharing.

The sweat that had previously begun to bead at the edge of Ben's hair was now in freefall down his forehead: a sign of the physical effort the younger man was putting into his craft. Where before his kisses had been individually defined, they were now merging into something sloppier, less coherent.

All Callum could think of in that moment was a want to give back as much as was being given to him, so he lifted his right leg & hooked it back behind himself across Ben's knee.

"Oh god babe, yes..." Ben exalted in glory at the manoeuvre, instantly clutching a hand to Callum's readily exposed thigh & bracing onto it for added momentum.

Callum tilted his head into his man, craning his next to its furthest extension to chase their lips together. As they descended into a messy kiss that was frenetic despite the impossible angle, Ben thrust deeper, firmer into his man than ever before.

He couldn't sustain the level of exertion for much longer though, so seized a hand to Callum's cock to tug out a matching rhythm that had the man in his arms falling apart in a matter of seconds.

Callum's lips fell from their kiss as his mouth dropped open in breathless ecstasy & his release began to spurt into Ben's agitating hand.

That sight itself was enough to send Ben toppling to the brink of climax too, surging two final all-powerful thrusts into his man before his own release came deep inside.

Exhausted yet sated, Ben rode them through the combined waves of their high, then slowly allowed his body to sink laden & limp against the mattress. 

With what little coherence Callum could muster following on from the orgasm of his life, he grabbed at Ben's arm to halt him, drawing his attention back to the mirror so he could speak & be understood. "Stay like this a while? Not ready to feel empty yet..."

"Course," Ben slung his arm back over his man's waist with his final ounce of strength. "Anythin' for the man I love..."


	325. Chapter 323

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

"Gonna hav'ta move babe..." Ben lamented in an apologetic kiss to his boyfriend's shoulder a little time later. "In danger of sezin' up 'ere..." He pulled out of Callum carefully, earning a shudder of reaction in return.  
"Sorry..." the younger man again apologised, rubbing a hand to his man's back. "Didn't mean to hurt ya..."

Callum reached over with an arm to pull Ben back in close, turning his head to look at him with an afterglow smile. "Ya didn't hurt me: can still feel so much of you in me, that's all..."

Ben needed little encouragement to lean back down to his man for a gentle kiss. "Jeez babe," he chuckled softly. "Bone tired I might be, but you sayin' things like that, & lookin' like this could easily get me all fired up again..."

It was no word of a lie, given Ben always appreciated the post-coital appearance of his boyfriend: hair, often so carefully crafted, more than a little out of place; cheeks crimson with flush; lips kiss blown & full.

"Yeah?" Callum seemed to genuinely swell with pride at the inference.  
"Oh yeah," Ben smirked, linking his hands together & starting to turn his man to fully face him in his arms. He stopped short though in the moment he saw a grimace creep over Callum's face.

"Oh shit," Ben chastised himself out loud in an instant; his hands disconnecting from his boyfriend's skin as if suddenly burnt. "I 'ave hurt ya, ain't I?" Fear seemed to wash across his face, akin to a child realising they'd overstepped the mark & were about to be reprimanded for. It was a look they both knew well, after all.

"Nah, no you ain't..." Callum held quieting hands to Ben's flailing wrists, & stroked at each pulse point in reassurance. "All ya did was love me, caress me, nurture me..." He looked deep into his partner's eyes. "Maybe me ribs just ain't quite as healed as I'd thought, that's all..."

Ben's eyes scrutinised those of his boyfriend carefully, as if in search of any glimmer of untruth or falsehood. As always with Callum, though, he found none. He gave a few indistinct nods of his own head - an assurance to himself that all was well - then surged up from the mattress, his own tiredness instantly forgotten.

"Right then mister, you're with me..." he clasped a hand tight to Callum's & began to guide the man upwards from the bed.  
"What the?" Callum tried in vain to protest. "Where we goin'"  
"Shower," Ben clarified in the simplest of terms as he towed his man through the flat.

"But it's somethin' like three in the mornin'!" Callum tried to exclaim, as his man pulled him into the bathroom & kicked the door shut behind them.  
Ben turned to deliver an examining stare. "Yeah, & where's the issue with that?"


	326. Chapter 324

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys are so naughty 😉

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

"Ya should've said somethin..." Ben grumbled from his perch on the edge of the bath, as he watched soothing hot water cascade over Callum from the showerhead.

The elder man reverted his head to vertical from where it had been leant back to allow maximum restorative healing to his ribs from the heat of the water. "What, & miss out on the shag of me life?" he grinned. "I don't think so..."

Ben tutted out his displeasure. "We could've done ya some serious damage".  
"Didn't though, did we?" Callum smiled back incorrigibly, as he pushed his wet hair from his face. "And honestly, I'm feelin' better already..."

Ben suppressed his tongue, trying to focus on his boyfriend's words instead of the Adonis-like vision he was currently presenting. "Yeah well," he chided back in a tone still disgruntled. "That ain't really the point, is it?"  
Callum simply idled his way along the bathtub to playfully nudge a foot at the side of his boyfriend’s calf. "This you sulkin' for the rest of the night then, is it?"

Ben fixated a stubborn focus on his man's big toe. "I told ya: I don't ever wanna hurt ya..."  
The elder man responded with a roll of his eyes while he cupped a hand to his boyfriend's chin & guided it upwards to look one another in the eye. "I can make me own decisions Ben; I'm a grown man..."

A flicker of wickedness played across Ben's face before he could fully tame it. "I can see that..." From where he was sitting, with a naked Callum towering over him, Ben could very much confirm he was a fully grown man. Deliciously so.

Callum gave a shake of his head in mock disapproval. "Didn't mean it like that: meant I can take care of meself… "   
"Oh yeah?" Ben bit down against his lower lip to stifle the forming smirk. "That all ya can take care of, is it?"

The challenge had been issued, & Callum was up for it. "Why not step this way & find out?" He held out a hand in invitation to his man.

Ben gave a casual sniff, feigning that he was nonplussed. "Seein' as y'asked so nicely..." He rose to his feet letting himself be pulled in close. 

"Enough of the chit-chat Mr Mitchell..." Callum beamed at his man's surrender. "Step this way & I'll take care of us both..."


	327. Chapter 325

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that which Callum asks of Ben at the end of this chapter is either a) blindingly obvious or b) really not clear at all...I'm the writer & know exactly what Callum's getting at so really can't judge whether his intention is clear or not. I'll be interested to hear the readership's take on what's happening...
> 
> Oh, & of course they're in the shower together, so mild smut warning...

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

"Not quite so against the idea of a 3AM shower now then..." Ben suggested with a widening grin as he felt the first droplets of water hit his skin, having been led under the shower by his boyfriend.

"Yeah, well..." Callum gave a sheepish shrug while he smoothed the other man's already dampening hair back. "Let's just say the idea's growin' on me..."

"Ain't the only thing growin' either..." Ben quipped back, pushing his waist in close to that of his man's in clear acknowledgement they were both already semi-aroused.

Callum chuckled heartily at both their developing physical proximity & his boyfriend's change of tune. "Thought someone was tired..."

"Yeah, well..." Ben perfectly mimicked the elder man's earlier response. "This water's helped revive me a bit..."  
"Just the water?" Callum quirked an eyebrow as a means of suggestion. "Or maybe the company too?"

They edged into a passionate clinch then: Ben linking his arms at the back of Callum's neck to pull his head down; Callum's hands settling loosely at Ben's sides, where his thumbs traced intricate circles.

Soon lost in the moment, as they shared an ebullient kiss, their hips began to sway & grind in time, until Ben found himself all but engulfed & choking on the stream of water from above. "Ain't quite as seamless as in the movies, eh?" he spluttered out in amusement.  
"So much better than in the movies," Callum returned, undeterred once he was certain his partner was ok. "Much more hands on than the movies..."

He offered no further verbal explanation, simply looping a hand around his man's cock, & toying at it gently. "All the feels..." he reiterated that which Ben had said earlier, with a fond, bewitching smile.

Ben leant into the contact, whatever embers of weariness there had been now washed away. "Babe..." he implored softly, tongue flicking at Callum's lips in hunger for more.

So Callum gave it: expanding his grip on his boyfriend's erection to encompass his own as well, combining the two heated members in one tantalising grasp.

"Fuck babe," Ben near caved at intimacy of touch. "Yes..." he began to exalt as his man started to work them over in unison.

Callum though wasn't yet done with his sorcery, wanting one last trick to perform. He kissed Ben long, slow & deep as his hand still tugged them towards shared ecstasy, then steadily pulled away, clasping a hand to Ben's. "Can I try somethin'..." he requested unassumingly, self-quenching his own lips against dryness.

"Course..." Ben acquiesced through a breath shallow with desire, knowing there was nothing he wouldn't give his man, after he'd given so much already that night. 

Callum gave a nod of appreciation, then cradled his left hand to Ben's cheek: its counterpart still holding firm at Ben's palm. "Trust me..." he implored, soft yet firm.  
"Always," Ben agreed without falter, eyes locked to those of his boyfriend. 

Callum instigated a kiss between them again that was lingering & full of promise, while his right hand played at the opposing hand of Ben's, honing in one particular finger, at which it rubbed & coaxed.

"Can I?" He requested in breathless anticipation, his fingers creeping directly to the object of his desire: his eyes flicked downward to Ben's hand, then back up to meet his eyes.

Ben too glanced down, understanding just exactly what was being asked. He swallowed down thickly, then looked back up to give his answer. "Yeah..." he voiced in a tone that was disrupted by a cacophony of emotion & lust. "Yeah, ya can..."


	328. Chapter 326

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Callum started slowly, eyes flickering to Ben's, then back upon his waiting prize, gently, tentatively, teasing the glinting ring from the base of his boyfriend's finger up to the knuckle. "This ok?" He reciprocated the earlier attentions that had been so lovingly directed at him.

"Yeah..." Ben agreed through a cough, then reasserted his conviction. "Yes..." He decided in that moment to concentrate a little less on what had been than on what could be. 

Callum understood this ring adorned by Ben's finger wasn't a particular artefact of the man's relationship with Paul, but it was something Ben used to disguise the fact that he was capable of love, & more pertinently, being loved: a surrendering of that admission would never come easily for the man.

Callum worked the ring a little looser from the knuckle, then paused, lifting Ben's hand to his lips & pressing a soft, caressing kiss to the newly exposed skin. He then placed their combined hands to his boyfriend's cheek, as a means of capturing attention to what he was about to say. "I can stop any time, if ya want..."

Ben nodded his understanding but made no move to halt proceedings, so Callum tenderly dislodged the ring fully from the finger that wore it. His breathing faltered a little at the thought that he had sole possession in his grasp of something that had been such a cherished emblem to Ben: the final facade of the man's slipping mask.

Callum appreciated that gravity himself, having been stripped away to nothing by Ben while still dating Whitney, so knew he needed to tread carefully here: one false move & the gesture would dissolve into tatters.

He intentionally opted that it would be his own right hand he would locate the ring upon: the sceptre of wedded promise associated with the left too much for either of them to bear just now. 

With the ring in situ on Callum's smallest finger - the only one it would actually fit fully upon - came a dawning sense that something was shifting between them, even if neither of them knew exactly what.

With a quieting sense of chivalrous authority, Callum stepped in closer to his man, & pressed seductive kisses at the edges of his mouth, tempting & teasing it to open up & let him in further.

As Ben did just that, Callum flexed his tongue into the enticing warmth of his lover's mouth, & let his newly-jewelled hand drift downward, where it could bestow new levels of pleasure for the man he so loved.


	329. Chapter 327

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of mild smut

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

The power of the sensation was instant for Ben: the metallic chill of the band of platinum against the raging heat of his proudly erect cock, so much so that he involuntarily hissed at the contact.

Callum though - all-knowing, all-fulfilling Callum - knew better than to be disheartened by the reaction, grinning into their kiss instead: a confirmation that all was just fine.

Ben let himself relent a little then, enjoying his boyfriend's masterful hand strokes, which incorporated fleeting glances of metal to scorching skin, over then over again.

Ben could adjust to this, he told himself as he moaned into their kiss, it wasn't something forbidden, after all. It wasn't the hand of someone blindly betrothed to another, for instance, nor of someone getting cheap thrills on the side. No, this was the warm, encompassing hand of Callum, who would do anything to keep them as one.

Callum changed tack suddenly, breaking Ben from his wandering thoughts, as he trailed the finger holding the ring against the protruding vein of Ben's length. 

Ben drew back from their kiss, a little overcome by the renewed contrast of cold & heat.   
"Feels..." Callum simply assured with a soft smile, chasing their lips back together.

This was nothing that Ben had experienced before: either the tender, unhurriedness of touch, or the scintillating squirm of metal against intimately heated skin. Somewhere in his psyche, echoing away as a distant thought beneath the thrill, was the question of whether this would have been them if Callum had married as intended: the thought then evaporating into the ether with the added frisson of suggestion that it could be them married instead.

Ben surged into animation on the wind of that thought, clammering his hands to link them over Callum's shoulders, & renewing their kiss with greater impetus. "Get yaself in on this too, babe..." he demanded with a swipe of tongue along the man's lips. "Don't wanna leave ya behind..."


	330. Chapter 328

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently my brain is no longer happy with writing a fic that is 'just' 300+ chapters long - oh no, apparently it wants me to experiment with the occasional writing of chapters as one shots...Hence this chapter was written in the space of 45 minutes & hasn/t been edited/checked for glaring errors.
> 
> Oh, & smut is most definitely present...

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

Callum needed little such invitation to oblige, conducting an upward sweep from his hand to combine both their enthralled erections as one.  
"God, yes babe..." Ben seemed to melt into the renewal of the scorching contact, as his boyfriend established a coaxing pace that manipulated & excited the both of them.

The elder man resurrected their kiss with a tongue probing questions that Ben's mouth answered in its willingness: no words needing to be exchanged between them.

Somehow, deftly Callum had managed to slide his ring-adorned little finger in between their two throbbing cocks, tightening the exterior grip of his remaining fist to maximise the friction & rub.

As Ben's knees threatened to buckle at the shared union of their intimacy, he clasped surrendering arms across Callum's shoulders, only to be scooped in ever closer by the man himself.

"Oh fuck, Cal, fuck..." Ben felt, rather than heard himself say, as he began to stutter apart alarmingly quickly at the sensation of metal brushing against every rib of his manhood: the aching stretch of throbbing skin doused by the chill of platinum each time.

Callum disengaged their kiss to look his man firm in the eye, delivering another reminder of what had been said to him earlier that night. "Ride the wave baby..."

Ben nodded his comprehension, although certain he was about to fall apart at any second; eyes looking deep into Callum's for confirmation all the while.

As Callum tipped his forehead to rest gently against Ben's, he summoned up a quickening of pace & intensity from his hand, that had them both instantly panting & emitting breathy wisps of steam within the heat of the shower.

Without warning, Callum skewed the position of his little finger so the central emblem of the ring was now grazing directly at the elasticated expanse of Ben's erection, briefly nestling into, then burrowing its way out of any crease of skin it found

Ben's breathing became frantic as he still looked his man in the eye: attempting occasional kisses, but ultimately falling short due to the overload he was experiencing. With a tightening of his abdominal muscles, he could take no more, folding in on his man as he came with a shuddered shout of Callum's name, that swiftly sent his opposite into orgasm too.

Their bodies swayed their way through the combined high, neither sure which of them, if either, was leading, until Callum finally relented his hold on their softening appendages, relocating a finger to tease at Ben's chin until the man looked up at him.

"Ok?" Callum checked in softly, hoping he hadn't overstepped the mark.  
"So much better than ok," Ben affirmed with a gentle grin that they both knew he couldn't fake if he tried. "Though can't help thinkin' we're in a bigger mess now than we was before we got in this shower..." His arms still clung around his boyfriend's shoulders as if they were the only thing holding him up.

Callum smiled easily, dabbing an affectionate finger against his boyfriend's nose. "Well that's easily fixed, ain't it?" With no greater fanfare, he set about lathering & washing them clean, a gentle hum emanating from his lips in the tone of one fully satisfied in their work.

Switching off the shower once all the suds of soap had drained clear, he led his man attentively to the far end of the bath, instructing him to remain in situ while he himself clambered out from the tub. Returning moments later, Callum extended a cotton-soft towel in his man's direction, although not releasing it to him.

Instead, Callum lifted his boyfriend's left hand, & began to tenderly towel it dry, while the remainder of them both continued to drip away the excess of moisture about their persons. 

Satisfied once Ben's hand was fully dried, Callum dealt a delicate kiss against it, then slipped the ring with which he'd been so intimately entrusted from his own finger, placing it back in its rightful position on Ben's.

The younger man watched on in rapture at the sincerity of the action: humbled that another could be so in tune with his needs. Because Callum knew, & understood, & respected, that standing there stripped bare before him, Ben would feel emotionally naked without that single effect of jewellery back in place. 

"Now..." Callum chuckled warmly, as he glanced down at the growing puddle of water gathering at his own feet. "Ya reckon you can towel the rest of yaself dry, before I cause an issue with damp..."


	331. Chapter 329

## Actual scene of 31/03/20

Settled eventually in bed, sated & euphoric from the most physical reinforcement of their earlier exchanged vows of love, Ben fought against weariness to keep his eyes open & fixed upon Callum, who was looking back at him little short of adoringly.

They each cherished this peaceful sort of intimacy, nestled beneath the covers, lay on their sides, drinking in the sight of one another. To Ben's delight, Callum still had his post-sex glow: a colouring in his cheeks that suggested a good time had very much been had; while Callum never failed to appreciate Ben's sleep-softened features, behind which nothing could ever stay hidden.

Battling the latest wave of exhaustion to wash over him, Ben brushed a hand against his boyfriend's shower-softened hair, & softly spoke up. "I'm sorry: these past weeks, I've been a prat".

Callum was instantly defiant as he rested his head against his own hand. "You haven't been a prat..." he exhaled on a gentle, compassionate breath.  
"Just never really 'ad to do vulnerable, 'ave I?" Ben determined honestly, still intent on looking his man firm in the eye.

Callum reacted with a casual shrug. "Everybody's vulnerable..." he calmly surmised. "We're all just a bit broken'. He saw an opportunity in the rarity of such emotional honesty from his boyfriend. "But you," he wagged a mock disciplinary finger as he enunciated his words carefully. "Need to start learnin' sign language..."

A twinkle of mischief reflected in Ben's eyes as he raised a hand to deliver his own version of signing.  
"Not that kind of sign language!" Callum though hastily intercepted the gesture, amused by it though he might have been.

They shared a moment's hush then, smiling softly at one another, before something else popped into Callum's head. "Anyway, seein' as we're up..."

"Someone's ribs are better..." Ben greeted the suggestion with another glint visible in his eye.  
Callum though wouldn't be deterred by such shenanigans, puffing out the air from his chest in amusement, then shuffling his weight to sit up in the bed, & reach into the drawer of his bedside cabinet. "This came late..." he handed a square box across to his man. "For ya birthday..."

Ben snapped open the box, to reveal a watch encased within. In all honesty, his birthday had been quite the non-event in the scheme of everything that had of late been going on, & the absence of any present from Callum had been the least of his worries. He was genuinely touched now though to find that he hadn't been forgotten.

"It's got an alarm..." Callum reached over while he leant back down. "And it vibrates..."  
Ben took the watch in hand to examine it more closely, as his boyfriend continued to explain.  
"Get you up in the mornin'..."

Ben gazed over at his boyfriend. "I quite like how you get me up in the mornin'..." he teased out with a smirk, earning a chuckle of approval from Callum. In truth, they both equally enjoyed the elder man's impressive efforts at rousing him in the morning.

A little lost for what else to say, Ben carefully put the watch back in its box & closed the lid firmly shut on it. "Thank you..." he turned to impress the sincerity of his words home to his man: maybe sometimes the simplest of gestures could have the greatest effect.

Callum nodded his acceptance of the gratitude, a little smitten by the softness in the man beside him.  
It was Ben's turn to break the short silence though. "Seein' as we're openin' presents on the wrong day..."

He rolled onto his back & reached down beneath the bed to extract a wrapped box he'd left there earlier. "Officer Highway breakin' all the rules, eh?" he supplied flirtatiously as he deposited the gift into his man's lap.  
"Yeah, well, I suppose technically..." Callum began to counter as he took possession of the present. 

Ben adored the brief glimpse into his boyfriend's dorkiness that followed, as Callum tried to reason out his justification for early present opening, in the manner of a child attempting to persuade as to why they should have more sweets.

Ben was putty in the face of that sort of unrelenting exuberance - his inability to ever say no to Lexi a case in point - so maybe it wasn't a complete surprise what words tumbled from his lips next. "We'll make a Mitchell of you yet..."

Callum met the assertion with his best carefree smile, but as they exchanged a loving glance between them, they both sensed there was a deeper question held within. 

Whether it was the continuing afterglow of the night's loving connection, or a remnant flicker from Callum resetting the ring on Ben's scarred finger, neither of them quite knew, but a whole new level to their future had just been pledged.

Ben gave a sniff, a near involuntary self-defence mechanism that indicated that was as far as he could currently go, to which Callum responded by soothing knuckles caressingly against his man's face: An unspoken acknowledgement that he knew how far Ben had come in the space of one night alone, & nothing more needed to be said.

Ben closed his eyes & leant into his man's touch, akin to a family pet melting into any offer of affection lavished upon it, then ducked his head into his pillow, as if suddenly bashful to have been caught so off guard.

He couldn't resist watching for long though, as he felt a shift in the mattress beneath him as Callum repositioned himself upwards so he could open his present. 

Reawakening his eyes, Ben was just in time to catch the glow of excitement on his boyfriend's face, knowing it was very much reciprocated by his own.


	332. Chapter 330

## Unseen scene of 31/03/20

"Ben..." Callum couldn't stop himself from gasping as he opened the box containing his present. "You haven't; you shouldn't..."

The younger man wasn't able to readily lip read what was being said from his prone state, so shifted up into a kneeling position beside his man. "They're the right ones, ain't they?" he checked in earnestly, suddenly struck motionless by the irrational fear he'd messed up.

"They're absolutely the right ones..." Callum reassured fondly with a thankful smile. "It's just I know how much they cost, & ya shouldn't be spendin' that amount of money on me..."

"I wanted to..." Ben countered, almost shy in his words. "You've all but worn through the soles of that original pair you've got, what with all the runnin' you've been doin'..."

Callum silently marvelled at the generosity of the man beside him. "Yeah..." he chuckled. "Which is why I've been puttin' some money by to save towards a new pair..."  
'Well ya don't need to now..." Ben reasoned simply. "You can put that money aside for somethin' else instead".

"You are too much, Ben Mitchell..." Callum gave a wry shake of his head. "And these would've cost ya way too much, but thank you anyway: they're just what I need..." Still a little stunned that anyone would make such an investment for him, Callum pressed his lips to Ben's for an appreciative kiss.

"Yeah, well..." Ben grinned as he edged slowly away, holding his palms up in submission. "Can't say it were entirely selfless reasons I wanted to buy them for ya, can I? Need my man to keep fit so he can keep me satisfied in the bedroom department..."

Callum raised an eyebrow of quizzical suggestion. "Not just the bedroom, eh? Don't forget the bathroom, the livin' room, the kitchen..." He chortled happily to himself at the insinuation as he returned his attention to the brand new pair of running shoes his boyfriend had gifted.

Ben had an eye for detail, Callum certainly had to give him that, given these shoes were identical in every way to his current, well lived-in pair. It couldn't have been a moment's whim that caused Ben to opt for these; an in-depth study of the existing pair must have taken place.

"You even got the size spot on..." Callum observed appreciatively, realising his man had spotted his in-between sizing.  
"Yeah well," Ben gave a lascivious smirk. "We can both appreciate the difference an extra half inch makes..."

Callum shook his head again, this time in mock dismay, given he was always delighted by his boyfriend's apparent size kink, & how well he himself apparently measured up against it.  
He noticed then that Ben had slid his way back down the mattress to lie on his side once more, quite clearly fighting the physical urge to shut his eyes.

Callum set the running shoe in his hand down in its box, & stroked gentle fingers against his boyfriend's forehead. "You tired?" he then less questioned, more asserted, on a whispered breath.

"Completely snagged..." Ben admitted, now mustering only the slightest of salacious grins.  
"Then sleep..." Callum instructed softly, relocating the box in his lap to the floor on his side of the bed, then slipping down to rest against his man. "This can all keep 'til mornin'..."

"Erm, it's mornin' already, ain't it?" Ben queried in a voice half-laden with sleep as he snuggled into his boyfriend, & used his final resources of energy to perch his chin upon the man's chest & look up at him.

Callum hummed in affectionate agreement. "For mere mortals, yeah: but not for rampant sex gods who keep goin' all night..." He felt the reverberation of Ben's laugh against his breastbone, then mere seconds later the rhythmic exhale of warm breaths at his t-shirt, that told him without needing to look, that his boyfriend was already fast asleep.


	333. Chapter 331

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little reminder that increasingly as of now, due to the canon episode rationing- thanks Covid - dates within the narrative will appear increasingly skewiff in relation to actual episode dates.
> 
> Case in point here - I have titled this chapter as an unseen scene from 6th April - which was the next date on which canon aired - although the scenes I depict are clearly intended to be the day after the night before.
> 
> I feel it's important to continue to tie in my unseen scenes with the dates canon screened, so anyone wanting to reference back to actual canon can do so.
> 
> Confused? You have every right to be - but just be mindful dates we assume set in stone (birthdays, anniversaries etc) will appear out of sync for a while.  
It'll all sort itself out in the end (I hope!)

## Unseen scene of 06/04/20

Callum wasn’t quite sure at what point in the tirade it was that he woke but it was at least by the time he could hear the latest full blaspheme.  
"What in the name of all that is flippin' holy..."

He recognised the voice well enough, even in the midst of his sleep-addled state, so dealt a soothing kiss to the temple of his still blissfully sleeping boyfriend, & rolled out from bed to ascertain what all the fuss was about.

Pulling the bedroom door quietly shut behind him, he found his answer soon enough: in irrate-looking Stuart standing in the middle of the flat, brandishing a pair of scissors in his hand. 

"Any particular reason I've just nearly impaled my foot on a pair of scissors 'ere in the livin' room Bruv?" The elder Highway looked fit to burst as he voiced his question, & bore more than a passing resemblance to one Phil Mitchell when so riled, Callum observed, only to himself.

"I er..." the younger Highway ran a hand through his hair as he tried to think logically, instead of instantly recalling the passion with which said scissors had been dropped from his boyfriend's hand hours ago. "Ben was doin' a bit of present wrappin' after he'd banished me to bed for the night," he eventually surmised weakly. "He musta forgotten he'd put 'em there..."

Stuart looked about as suspicious as Callum suspected he himself sounded, but it was too late not to run with the story now. "I came out to get a glass of water, & he was so concerned with hidin' what he was wrappin' the scissors musta slipped his mind..."

Stuart appeared dumbfounded. "Oh well that's alright then, ain't it..." he seemed to reason in a quiet tone, before raising his voice to full-on shout once more. "I mean, don't kind me, impaled & bleedin', so long as he don't let slip what he's got ya for yer birthday..."

"There's no real 'arm done Stu..." Callum tried to appease, making an about turn to pick up the kettle & fill it from the tap. "D'ya want a brew as yer 'ere?"

"No h'arm done?" Stuart repeated the sentiment incredulously. "Only cos I 'ad me wits about me this mornin'..."

Callum relented from drawing down the mugs from the cupboard he was reaching into, turning back to his brother instead. "Keep the noise down, will ya? Ben's still tryin'a sleep..."

"He's deaf!" Stuart retaliated as he discarded the offending pair of scissors on the side. "Mutt & Jeff...Mutton..."  
"He's hearin' impaired, not deaf..." Callum rapidly corrected. "And the way your carryin' on is enough to wake the dead..."

"You said it Bruv..." Stuart countered back with a casual sniff. "Now if ya don't mind, I'm gonna take a Jimmy Riddle. Hopefully there's nothin' sharp been left protrudin' in the bathroom that could harm the crown jewels..."

Callum ignored the intentional slam of the bathroom door, determined to rise above it, & concentrated instead on brewing up his & Ben's preferred morning drinks:a coffee for Ben, & a tea for himself. A glance at the clock on the wall confirmed they were still in the final hour of the morning, at least.

As Callum was stirring in the granules of Ben's coffee, he heard the bathroom door being flung open theatrically behind him.

"And don't tell me..." Stuart huffed loudly, the background noise of the toilet's flush still evident behind him. "There was a water leak in the bathroom last night as well, was there?"

Callum thought back to happenings in the bathroom the previous night, & the fact that the shower curtain, which let's face it had seen better days, had been too flimsy to withstand the surge of water caused by two men chasing orgasm.

"Nah bruv, no water leak..." Callum corrected nonchalantly, as he gathered the two mugs in hand. "Just the mother of all shower sex..." He didn't wait to see or hear his brother's response, padding his way back to the bedroom, & closing the door on the unwanted negativity behind him.


	334. Chapter 332

## Unseen scene of 06/04/20

"Where'd ya go?" Ben's sleep-drowsy voice emerged from beneath the bed covers as Callum took a moment to lean back against the bedroom door & process the exchange with Stuart that had just been. He loved his brother, truly he did, but the man could be prone to such over-dramatic hysterics: which said a lot really, coming from the boyfriend of one Ben Mitchell.

Callum shook himself from his thoughts & strolled across to the bed, only to find what had previously been his side now occupied by Ben. It was of little consequence to the elder man, who simply shrugged his shoulders & clambered into the vacant side. Giving a nudge to Ben's shoulder, he attracted the man's attention. "Made us a brew..." he held out a mug for Ben, who gave a protracted yawn, then shuffled his way up the bed to accept the reviving offer gladly.

"Ain't ya gonna moan that I've pinched your side of the bed?" Ben grinned into his mug as he blew on the hot contents to cool them down. He then glanced over to receive his boyfriend's response.  
"What's mine is yours babe..." Callum summarised simply, & they exchanged beguiling smiles at the sentiment.

An easy silence fell between them then as they sipped at their drinks: a type of silence Ben took comfort in rather than dread. Their feet mingled cosily beneath the duvet, knees occasionally knocking against each other.

After a while, Ben carefully bumped his elbow at Callum's side, in indication he was about to speak. "Put ya watch on, haven't I?" He proudly gave his right wrist a twirl where the gift from his boyfriend now took pride of place. "Woke up to find you'd disappeared, had no clue of what time it was, but then remembered this thoughtful gift from my man..."

Callum beamed with pride at the sight, discarding his mug to the side so he could gather Ben's wrist up into his hand.  
"Wotcha doin'?" the younger man queried curiously.

Callum indicated his eyes by forming a v-shape with two fingers, that he then redirected towards the timepiece. "Watch & see..." he smiled coaxingly, as he flipped the face cover of the watch open & began to scroll through its menu of settings. Having located the calendar function, he selected the current day's date & set a reminder:

_5.30PM Callum cooking dinner - don't be late_

Ben read the synopsis & chortled in self-recognition that he most likely would be late: this was one date though he would try moving heaven & earth to keep. Swiping the save function in confirmation of the diarised event, he then selected the following date to set an all-day event:

_Callum's birthday _

He glanced sideways to his man. "Gonna set that one to full- on vibrate mode..." He sniffed in feigned nonchalance. "Not cos I need remindin', but just so I can get some cheap thrills from this bad boy all day long..."


	335. Chapter 333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the chronology of the canon scenes of 6/7 April has me in a tailspin, in working out how they link together, & where/how Callum's birthday sits amongst them.
> 
> So I've employed a bit of artistic liberty here - I summarise broadly some of the main happenings, then focus back in on what I think are the key scenes - how I've written this doesn't entirely match with canon chronology, but tough: this is the best way for my narrative to work.

## Overview of actual Ben scenes 06-07/04/20

Ben pondered sometimes, in the quieter moments, just how it was his life could be so incessantly topsy-turvy: take this day, for instance...

He'd dragged himself out from Callum's bed in the last seconds of the morning, as the man had decreed a need to break in his new running shoes. 

Ben, most generally allergic to any sort of fitness regime that didn't involve the bedroom, had excused himself from the scene, citing a business deal to which he needed attend. No matter his actual plans for the day intended a greasy fry-up courtesy of his mum, followed by a steady-paced afternoon of wnding Jay up while doing as little actual work as possible.

That plan had gone out the window in the instant Ben had emerged from the Mitchell household freshly showered & shaved though, with a matter of hours to kill until the planned evening with his man.

He'd swaggered onto the street looking like the cat who got the cream, & so he might with the hottest fella in Walford confirmed as his beau, but an unexpected hand at his arm had rudely brought that thought to a shuddering stop: Ritchie.

News that his father had not only resurfaced, but had handed himself into the local constabulary, had sent an icy paralysing shudder down Ben's spine: past misdemeanours not just threatening to bubble up, but fully resurface.

He'd spent a frantic few hours running thin the soles of his shoes, darting this way, then that, trying to find the key to getting his father released without charge: the emblematic timepiece on his wrist a constant reminder of the more positive force that was driving him on.

For Callum he'd do anything, including holding a gun to his own father's head, but that didn't mean he wanted to quite so abruptly, quite so finitely, disentangle those two worlds: Callum was his future, his destiny, his gateway to a better tomorrow, but in Phil was still the reminder of his past, a lifeblood he couldn't ever quite abandon.

The relief had been blessed when a couple of hours later Ben had seen his father emerge back into the Square, released without charge. Yet that joy had been shortlived at the realisation Phil wasn't equipped with the fill truth: that Ben couldn't hear.

Ben had taken his bravery in hand just the night before, & admitted the true extent of his feelings to, for, Callum; but an admission of physical weakness to his father was just too much too bear.

So Ben made rushed excuses & skewed reasoning as to why he couldn't stick around, then hurried back to his man, making one slight detour on the way.


	336. Chapter 334

## Unseen scene of 07/04/20

"Just the ten minutes late..." Callum chuckled softly as he attended his saucepan on the hob. "I'm impressed..."

"Didn't catch a word of that babe..." Ben returned as he deftly shook himself from his coat in the hallway, to reveal a navy shirt that his boyfriend always thought he looked fetching in. Or at least he did when his attention wasn't caught up elsewhere. "Ahem..." Ben cleared his throat in an obvious demand for attention.

Callum obliged him, wiping his hands on a tea towel, before turning to take in his man. His jaw dropped open a little at the realisation of what Ben was holding. "They for me?" he checked, somewhat uncertainly.  
"Unless there's another hotty round 'ere I declared my love for last night..." Ben supplied with an engagingly bashful smile.

Callum took purposeful strides across to his boyfriend at that, letting out a breathless admission that seemed tinged with wonder. "No-one's ever bought me flowers before..."

Ben gave a shrug in return, a little self-conscious about his actions. "Never bought anyone flowers before..." he gave a sniff that indicated self-deprecation. "Unless we're countin' for me mum, whenever I've done somethin' wrong..."

Callum raised an eyebrow to appear quizzical, tilting his head to one side in enquiry. "Why, ya done somethin' wrong now?"  
"Nah," Ben reacted with a shake of the head. "Good boy nowadays, ain't I?"

Callum gave back a gleeful smile. "They're beautiful: thank you..." He accepted the bouquet from Ben & paused to admire its fragrance. 

Ben seemed a little uncertain as to etiquette then, plunging his hands into the rear pockets of his jeans, a near imperceptible awkwardness to his stance. "What's cookin' then, good lookin'?" he tried to deflect any attention from himself.

Callum redirected his attention from the flowers back to his man. "You in that shirt, I reckon..." he flirted boldly in answer to Ben's question, sensing his sudden unease. "I'm feelin' like the luckiest man alive right now, with you standin' there & bringin' me these..."

"Soft..." Ben gave a playful roll of his eyes in response, unable to hold back on the fondest of smiles.  
"As if there's anythin' wrong with that..." Callum defied with an enticing smile back. "Now, ya gonna help me put these in some water?" He didn't wait for an answer, turning slowly on the spot while reaching a hand back in invitation for his boyfriend to take.

Ben inhaled a deep breath, determined to banish the anxieties of his day from his mind, & settled his palm within Callum's, glad to be guided back into the sanctuary of his world. Their world.


	337. Chapter 335

## Unseen scene of 07/04/20

Ben leant his head in his hands, elbows firm against the kitchen worktop counter, while he watched on in mesmerised awe. Opposite him, Callum made precise incisions along flower stems, before positioning them carefully in a vase.

"Ya need to get that?" Callum suggested mid flow, seemingly barely distracted from his task.  
"Hmm?" Ben responded, uncertain as to what had been said.  
Callum paused what he was doing, to look his man firm in the eye. "Yer phone: it must've buzzed two or three times now..."

"Oh..." the word formed in visual formation from Ben's lips. "Nothing important; it'll keep...Anyway..." This was a classic Ben Mitchell distraction technique, & they both knew it. "When'd ya get so good at this? You ain't trained as a florist in yer past, 'ave ya?"

Callum shook his head shyly, as if embarrassed. "Must be in the genes, I reckon: Stu's surprisingly good at flower arragin' too..." His face flushed mid suggestion as he caught on to what he might have just implied. "What I mean is, we don't sit 'ere at night honin' our skills in flower arrangin': it's just somethin' we're both pretty ok at on the unfertakin' side of things..."

Ben smiled fondly at his boyfriend's obvious ill ease, a little enchanted by it. He slipped a hand across the worktop to rub a thumb along his boyfriend's knuckles. "It's alright babe, I know what ya meant..."

Ben's thumb lingered against his man's hand, sweeping delicate brushed strokes to it while he battled with his inner conscience: if this was them now, he reasoned silently, Callum had every right to know where he was at in his world.

"It's me Dad..." Ben eventually volunteered quietly, eyes rooted to the trace of his digit against the elder man's skin.

"What's ya Dad?" Callum queried back, only to receive a blank expression in return, that indicated Ben hadn't followed his words. So he repeated them again, slower this time. "What's ya Dad?"

Ben shrugged, suddenly unnerved that he was even doing this: being open & honest within a committed relationship. He wouldn't let himself be beaten though. "It's me Dad that keeps ringin' me phone: he's back..."

"And you're not ok with that?" Callum checked cautiously, never quite sure of the dynamic between Mitchell father & son.  
"It's complicated..." Ben conceded with a huff of air from deep within his lungs.

Callum responded with a wry smile. "Always is with you, ain't it? And maybe that's why I love ya..." He assumed the conversation would likely be ending there, so arranged the last of the flowers in the vase, & moved to pick it up. He was stalled in his movement though by the sudden appearance of Ben at his side, with hands pressed halting & insistent at his arms.

"Say that again..." Ben urged, a hint of desperation in his tone as he turned his boyfriend to right angles from the kitchen counter so he could slip himself into the gap he'd created. Once snugly there, he pulled Callum in towards his body. "That last bit ya just said: say it again..."

Callum flicked his tongue out from his mouth to quench at his lower lip while he gave the scenario some consideration: echoes whispering through his mind of a similar request he'd made to Ben just the night before.

He positioned his hands against the worktop of the counter, corralling Ben in from either side, then looked him square in the eye. "That's why I love ya..."

"Again," Ben demanded in a low growl that sent shockwaves straight through the close proximity of their bodies.  
"That's why I love ya..." Callum consented to repeat without question, as his eyes searched deep into those of his partner.

Ben lifted caressing fingers to his boyfriend's neck, pressing them lightly to dip against the man's protruding Adam's apple. "Again..." he asserted in a domineering drawl.

He was being utterly selfish, he knew, in demanding the repetition of a sentiment he'd only managed to vocalise for the first time himself the night before, but what he was asking of Callum now was equally deep-rooted in their shared folklore from the previous night, & he needed Callum to reinforce that assertion now.

_If your Dad can't be here for that, then I am..._

Ben needed to see, feel, even hear as best he could, every inch of that sentiment now: to know that someone loved & accepted him for who he was, without condition or exception. He needed this validation to erase the disdain he'd seen reflected earlier on his own father's face.

Callum didn't hesitate in giving the assurance that was needed. "That's why I love ya..." he delivered unfalteringly, still looking deep into Ben's piercing gaze, & leaning a little into the contact of his fingers, so Ben could feel the rattle of words in his voice box.

They each held firm, as if daring the other to show the merest hint of a waiver in resolve or belief. Neither of them did though: either Callum in the integrity of his words or Ben in finally believing them to be true.

"Thank you..." Ben whispered into the air between them.  
"What for?" Callum questioned as he continued to regard his boyfriend intently.  
"For bein' you..." the younger man elaborated quietly. "And for always bein' here for me".

"It's my privilege & my pleasure..." Callum's face radiated a smile of warm generosity, as he leant in to connect a gentle kiss between them. He pulled back though at the familiar ringing sound & accompanying vibration of Ben's phone. "Ya sure you don't need to get that?"

"Positive," Ben stole another kiss from his man. "Never been more certain in me life..."


	338. Chapter 336

## Actual scene of 07/04/20 merging into unseen scene

Callum, in reality, knew Ben wasn't quite so certain as he was letting on: there were little tell-tale signs all around, after all. The tension in Ben's shoulders as they sat down at the table to eat their evening meal; Ben's attempt at a grateful reception of said meal, that fell a little short in execution; the fact Ben had left his phone out on the table, in plain sight for when Phil would inevitably try to make contact again.

It was a form of self-torture on Ben's part really: never quite able to let go of the things that hurt him most in the world. 

Callum wasn't stupid, either: he knew something had occurred between Ben & Phil around the time of the boat crash & his own incarceration: he just didn't quite know what.

There had been moments he'd come close to asking Ben what had happened, but he'd always been dissuaded by the flare of the whites of his boyfriend's eyes: a recurring reminder that maybe there were some things he wouldn't ever be privy to.

As the tone of Ben's phone chimed for what now must have been the fifth or sixth time, Callum decided he could take no more provarocation on his boyfriend's part. 

He demonstratively splayed his left hand against the table. "Why don't you just reply?"  
"Hmm?" Ben seemed confused, having failed to catch a word while taking a sip from his bottle of beer.  
"Why don't you just reply?" Callum reiterated: clearer, slower

"No point," Ben's response could be described as dismissive at best, as he delivered a disapproving glare, then relented a little in the knowledge his boyfriend really was trying to help. "I was right: All he saw was weakness..."

Callum took a moment to understand what had been admitted. "You saw him?" he questioned in growing surprise. "Well, what did he say?"

Ben flinched, unable to decipher what had just been said.  
"What did he say?" Callum repeated, gently coaxing.  
Ben gave a despondent shake of the head as dejection shone in his eyes. "Nothin'..."

"Well did you give him a chance?" Callum leant back to deliver his upfront question. The scowl on his boyfriend's face evidence alone that a raw nerve had been hit.

Callum despised this manifestation of unfeeling masculinity on show from his man. He'd experienced enough of it over the years from his own father, & wasn't about to sit back & watch another relationship fail. He looked his boyfriend fiercely in the eye. "He's already lost one son Ben: don't make him lose you too..."

They ate in stony silence for a while then, as Ben mulled over his boyfriend's words, while Callum was content to let them sink in.

It was eventually the elder man who broke the standoff between them, reaching across the table to touch at Ben's hand. "I could come with ya, if it would help..." he gently offered once Ben's eyes were upon him.

"What, like a mediator?" Ben didn't mean to scoff but somehow did. "I hate to break it to ya Cal, but he ain't really into anythin' touchy-feely..."  
Callum raised an eyebrow. "'ave ya ever even given him the chance to prove you otherwise?"  
Ben huffed out a breath of air in frustration. "I know my own Dad".

"Yeah," Callum conceded with a nod as he gathered their plates up & rose to his feet. "And I know you: & what I know is sometimes yer just a bit too proud for yer own bleedin' good". 

As Callum headed off in the direction of the kitchen sink, Ben sat in bemused shellshock: in part at the abruptness of his boyfriend's tone, but even more at the realisation it was in fact everything he deserved. 

Having eaten his meal, Ben knew it was time for a dessert of humble pie.


	339. Chapter 337

## Unseen scene of 07/04/20

In a manoeuvre that could best be described as sheepish, Ben moved across the kitchen to stand behind his boyfriend at the sink, encircling tender arms around his waist. "Gone & ruined a perfectly good night in, ain't I?" he lamented, with a press of apologetic lips to Callum's shoulder blade.

The elder man stalled in the feeling of physical serenity for a moment, before turning within Ben's hold to look at him direct. "It ain't a write off..." he conceded with a shrug. "I just don't like to think we could both end up alienated from our dads..."

Ben considered the notion carefully, seeing a rare glimpse of regret in his boyfriend's eyes at the sentiment. He cocked his head to one side while he examined Callum's features closely. "Ya Dad's a fool for droppin' you..." he offered shyly, candidly, as he stroked a finger through his man's hair.

"And a bigot; a homophobe; a drunkard..." Callum assessed back as he nuzzled into Ben's touch. " Still don't quite stop me lovin' him though..."  
Ben smiled fondly. "That's cos you're a saint, & see the best in everyone..."  
"I try..." Callum admitted honestly. "Ain't always easy though..."

Ben stopped himself from stiffening against the implication, settling that he would calm his man instead. "Them names ya dad called you - us - they've got no place in today's world..."  
"And your dad punched mine's lights out for that very reason..." Callum offered back. "Whatever's gone on between you & Phil, he stood there beside you when you really needed him..."

Ben inwardly bristled at the suggestion; the thought prominent in his mind of the time he'd held a gun to Phil's head for the sake of the very man he was standing before now. That was a whole different level of conversation though, destined for another time. Maybe.

Callum tapped a finger to Ben's temple in an act of soft affection. "You really plannin' on spoilin' my birthday because you're too proud to offer an olive branch to your dad?"

"Not your birthday 'til tomorrow..." Ben reminded with a smile, despite himself. "Oh god no..." A looming thought suddenly occurred to him. "Don't go tellin' me you insist on a full birthday week, just like my daughter does...."

"Nah..." Callum chuckled lightly, letting his lips brush with promise against those of his man, before gently pulling back again. "It's just I was thinkin' we could maybe start the celebrations a few hours early. Just the two of us..."

He left the suggestion to hang in the air between them, watching as Ben slowly caught onto his drift.

"Sounds like my kind of party..." the younger man greeted keenly, chasing after his boyfriend's lips.  
"Well," Callum smiled, a hint of defiance evident. "You know what you've gotta do to get an invite..."

Ben rolled his eyes at the understanding he was defeated & that his boyfriend would be getting his way on the matter. "Honestly, the things I do for you Callum Highway..." he grumbled as he extracted himself from their embrace. "The things I do..."


	340. Chapter 338

## Unseen scene of 07/04/20

Callum sat quietly on the sofa, drumming out a pensive rhythm with his fingers against its arm. The television opposite him was on, with its volume little above a low hum: the local evening news playing out stories in which he held little interest.

He cast a glance at his watch, calculating that it was now some thirty-five minutes since Ben had set off on his mission to Phil's, with Callum increasingly wondering whether he should have gone along too. 

His presence in itself might actually have been as useful as a chocolate teapot, but he had a growing inkling it might have made a difference to be there to pick up the pieces afterwards. Ben & Phil's was a tempestuous relationship, after all, & that was before you threw the double jeopardy of Ben sulking for Britain into the mix.

If things hadn't gone well, Ben would likely already be on a one-way path to self-destruction right about now: either propped up at the nearest bar, or worse still, holed up in the Car Lot with a bottle of whisky for one. 

Callum shuddered at the thought. His mind was set: he was going to head out & find his man, to face the consequences of whatever he had set into motion.

He flicked the television onto standby with a tap to its remote as he moved to stand, gathering up his keys & wallet from the side, then moving to select a coat from the rack of pegs on the flat's landing.

Just as his hand set upon the jacket he wanted though, he heard the opening of the interior door below. He dropped his hand back to his side without picking up his coat, & heard the unmistakable refrain of Ben taking a long, deep breath from out of sight at the foot of the stairs.

Callum scurried his way back to his previous position on the sofa, discarding keys & wallet as he went, even remembering to wake the television back up from its idle mode. 

He strained his neck then to listen for any sound of approach from below, already knowing he was hearing Ben' adjusting to whatever had just taken place at the Mitchell abode: another deep exhale of breath; an absent-minded nudge of the toe of his shoe to the bottom stair. An inward battle was being fought by Ben as to whether he should stay & make his ascent, or bottle it & run away.

Callum sat firm & patient, belief ever strong in his man that he would follow the right course without need for intervention. That faith was soon repaid, as he heard the first clomping steps of Ben's booted feet on the stairs. He looked up from his seated position to casually greet the arrival. "Alright?"

"That invitation to ya party still stand?" Ben sniffed out, a need resonating in his tone.   
"Always..." the elder man agreed fondly, outstretching an arm in invitation for his boyfriend to join.

Ben wasted no time, not even bothering to decant the coat from his back, as he launched himself in the direction of the sofa & the unquestioning awaiting embrace of his man.


	341. Chapter 339

## Unseen scene of 07/04/20

Ben had been slumped into him for such an amount of time, head buried deep at his chest, that Callum was starting to think his boyfriend might have actually fallen asleep. 

He continued to brush his fingers through the younger man's hair nonetheless, still uncertain as to whether it was comfort, sanctuary or affirmation he was giving. He guessed all three, & that Ben hadn't received the response he'd been hoping for from Phil.

There was no outburst of anger or tears though, which had to be a good sign. Just a need for shelter, that Callum was content & relieved to be able to provide.

Ben began to slowly stir, fiddling absently at a tuft of loose cotton by one of the buttons on his man's shirt. It was an action of indecision, Callum knew: an intermission while Ben thought through what he wanted to reveal. 

Giving a cough to clear his throat, Ben had apparently found his answer, as he sat up to reach into the inner lining of his coat, retrieving a pristinely folded piece of paper, that he then set down on his boyfriend's thigh. 

"What's that?" Callum queried carefully.  
"Look for yaself..." Ben granted consent with a sniff as he leant his head down against his elder's shoulder, with eyes still fixed to the sheet of paper.

Callum let his fingers hustle a fond scratch of assurance at Ben's scalp, then attentively opened out the piece of paper. Still leaving it to rest at his own thigh, he read the boldly emblazoned words before him.

_I'm proud of you_

"From me Dad..." Ben sniffed out in explanation.  
Callum nodded his understanding, although still uncertain as to his boyfriend's actual feelings on the matter. "And that's a good thing, ain't it?"  
"I guess it is," Ben agreed at a whisper, apparently genuinely confused. "What d'you reckon?"

This was a new dynamic: Ben seeking actual familial counsel from his man, so Callum thought carefully before giving his response. "I reckon it's an olive branch: somethin' to build on for the future..."

Ben nodded his acceptance of the suggestion: his boyfriend had decreed on the matter, & that was good enough for him. "God, I need a drink..." he sighed heavily, clambering up from the sofa. "You want one too?"

"Yeah, go on then..." Callum smiled warmly as he watched his man saunter off in the direction of the fridge, then slowly returned his gaze pensively to the sheet of paper on his leg.

He could admit it privately to himself, but not openly to Ben, that of all the affirming ways he himself might find to shower a loved one with declarations of pride, the blackened scrawl of a felt-tipped pen would never likely be one.


	342. Chapter 340

## Unseen scene of 07/04/20

"I'm a shit boyfriend". A few bottles of beer later, & Ben was ready to make his adamant declaration.

Callum wasn't having it though, recognising a continuing hang up from Phil's general disinterest in his man. Prising the bottle from Ben's fingers, & safely relocating the item to one side, he tickled his fingers to Ben's chin: an unspoken sign he wanted him to look at him. "Reckon them flowers ya bought me say otherwise, actually..."

Ben shook his head fervently in rejection of the get-out clause being so generously offered. "Tonight's meant to be about you & your birthday, not me & my old man. I didn't mean to bring any of this to your door..."

Callum's tongue peeped out against its encasing lips. "_Our_ door..." he corrected simply. He felt the tension release from his boyfriend's bones at the sentiment, but decided upon the chivalrous action of ignoring that any such thing had happened: focusing instead on the tiniest of glories within their little world. "So which of them colours is ya favourite?"  
"Eh?" Ben queried uncertainly.

Callum, determined not to be beaten on this most important of questions, set his own beer bottle down, squirmed his legs up onto the sofa, then tugged at his boyfriend to lie atop him so they were face to face. "The colours of them flowers ya bought me, which is ya favourite?"

Ben seemed agitated by the mere notion he might have a preference, so the elder man took the lead & gave answer to his own question. "It's the orange for me..." he began, being sure to speak slowly as he brushed away a wisp of loose hair from his boyfriend's face. "Somethin' that's vibrant & packed full of promise..." He declined the obvious comparison his own mind began to make with Phil's handwritten note of earlier. "So come on then, what about you?"

Ben glanced quizzically at the neatly arranged bouquet, having only ever seen it as a jumble of vivid colours that he assumed might convey the correct sort of message: evidently that was no longer enough. "Who says I've even got a favourite?" he tried to casually evade.

Callum still wasn't having any of it, teasing the slightest brush of lips to his man's. "You seriously tryin' to tell me you ain't got a favourite?"

Ben emitted a tiny grumble of frustration, both that his boyfriend hadn't followed on with the promise of a kiss, & that he would, of course, ultimately get his way. He narrowed his gaze into a concentrated stare, as if willing the answer to happen upon him.  
Callum, though, teased soft lips to his again. "Don't overthink it; just say what ya feel..."

Ben's concentrated stare turned into a consternated glare, as he tried to follow the instruction rather than be offended by it: he was one of life's great analysers after all, always searching for deeper answers where none maybe even existed. 

Callum could read the inner conflict on display as if an open book, so dealt his mouth to his boyfriend's once more, pulling back this time with a brief tug at Ben's lower lip between his own. "Let it go, & tell me..."

Ben puffed out an exasperated breath, knowing full well he was beaten. "I guess I'd go for the purple, if pressed..."  
"Why?" Callum again briefly connected their lips.

Ben gave a shrug of his shoulders. "Because it's a bit different to all the others, ain't it?" He shifted his weight to sink more deeply into his man, lowering his head so it could nestle once more at Callum's chest. "It's mysterious; a bit aloof; an enigma..." He whispered in the manner of a confession.

Callum chuckled in approval, slipping a kiss to his boyfriend's hairline. "Very much like the man I love..."  
"Hm?" Ben lifted his head in query.  
"I said yer tired..." He fibbed, stroking his fingers through his younger's hair. "We should go to bed".

Ben gave a sheepish nod of his head in response: an agreement that maybe the emotions of the past few days were taking their toll on him. "I will be a better boyfriend for you tomorrow, when it really matters, birthday boy..."  
"I know ya will..." Callum concurred happily, as he allowed himself to be pulled upwards from the sofa & in the direction of the bedroom.

Ben, for his part, intended to make certain of it, setting a silent but vibrating early alarm to the watch on his wrist, in what was the final act of his day before he fell into a deep, contented slumber, held strong in the arms of his man.


	343. Chapter 341

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mild smut warning for this chapter, although nothing graphic: it's just, well you know, Ben has his own unique way of ushering in his boyfriend's birthday...

## Unseen scene of 08/04/20

A repetitive hum at the pulse point on his wrist brought Ben round the next morning, curtailing the rather pleasant dream he'd been embroiled in. He exhaled a protracted yawn, accompanied by a cat-like stretch, then reluctantly swivelled his weight out from the bed, casting a doe-eyed glance back at a still soundly sleeping Callum. "My reputation round 'ere would be shot if they all ever knew the things I do for you.." he admitted in the most whispered of tones.

Pulling the bedroom door gently closed behind him, he silently rejoiced at the realisation Stuart had already taken his leave from the flat for the day, as evidenced by the wide-open bedroom door to his left: Trade in the world of undertakers was apparently brisk at present - something to do with some virus or another - hence extended hours for Stuart, & more hours of uninhibited freedom for Ben & Callum.

Availing himself of the facilities for an early morning wazz first off, Ben then set about his task with characteristic doggedness, finding it took surprisingly little time once he set his heart & mind to it.

Standing back to admire his handiwork, he gave himself a nod of satisfied approval, then sauntered back in the direction of the bedroom, where he clambered back in beside his man. 

Callum it seemed was still lost in slumber, oblivious that Ben had ever been absent at all, & as that would never do, Ben curled in close & started to scatter soft kisses to his boyfriend's neck. 

Callum began to slowly rouse beneath the attentive caresses being delivered to his skin, smiling at the near ticklish sensation. "Mornin' boyfriend..." he greeted merrily, rolling onto his back so Ben could observe his words.

"Mornin' birthday boy..." Ben drawled back with his own easy smile, still occupying his mouth with suckling kisses to every exposed spot of flesh on his man's neck.

"Mmm," Callum reacted to the vision that was his boyfriend wearing his glasses: he raised a hand to tap affectionately at their frame. "These for my benefit?" he grinned, both of them knowing the effect a bespectacled Ben had on him.

"Might be..." Ben evaded with a smirk as he took the opportunity to straddle himself over the top of his man. "Now pipe down will ya, or you'll miss out on my little birthday rendition..."

Callum quirked an eyebrow of query. "Birthday rendition?" he questioned on a sudden expectant breath, only to find himself silenced by a press of Ben's finger at his lips.

Callum was intrigued, so complied in falling quiet, just as Ben dipped his head to the hemline of his t-shirt & nudged his nose cutely against it.  
"This needs to come off first..." the younger man implored, the heat of his words fluttering over Callum's stomach, where the skin was freshly exposed from where his t-shirt had started to ride up.

"You want me to take it off?" Callum hesitated uncertainly: Ben had been so right when referencing mystery & aloofness the previous night, because just occasionally his boyfriend still had no clue as to what was running through his mind.

"If it ain't too much trouble for the birthday boy..." Ben replied; a mischievous glint present in his eyes.   
Callum gave a nod of acceptance, shuffling his torso free from the t-shirt while his boyfriend gave a cough to clear his throat. 

Greeting his man's unveiling with a gratifying smile, Ben leant forward atop of Callum, guiding the elder man to lie back against the mattress. "Reckon all my birthdays have come at once, with you laid out beneath me..." Ben gave his glowing appraisal. "Never mind it bein' your birthday..."

Callum blushed at the compliment, pushing up to seek out Ben's lips for a kiss.  
"Not quite yet ya don't..." Ben abstained from the contact though. "That comes later on in my rendition..."  
Callum was about to question exactly what was going on, when Ben adjusted his position to lean down close to his man's chest & began to sing a whispered melody.

_Happy Birthday to You..._

He accented the end of the song's first line by peppering kisses around his boyfriend's left nipple.

_Happy Birthday to You..._

Then repeated the same action to Callum's opposing nipple on completing his breathy deliverance of the second line.

_Happy Birthday, to My Sexy Boy..._

Ben had deliberately delighted in elongating every word of the third line, then trailing a leisurely path down his boyfriend's sternum with his tongue.

_Happy Birthday to You_

Delivering his final line to timed perfection as his lips found their way beyond the waistband of his man's shorts, Ben delicately nuzzled at the growing arousal that was thinly disguised beneath. Lifting his gaze to meet Callum's while he rested his chin against the already sizeable bulge, Ben serenely voiced a question. "Does the birthday boy fancy a second verse?"

The hunger in Callum's eyes gave all the answer that was needed, but he gave a nod of expectant approval anyway.

So Ben began to trill out a second verse, taking his time with both words & mouth, as he gave his attention this time to the sensitive points on his boyfriend's thighs, all while deftly multitasking at sliding the shorts slowly from his man. 

Ben licked his lips greedily as Callum's cock bobbed itself eagerly free at the conclusion of the second verse, but paused to stop himself from diving in too keenly: he was putting on a birthday spectacular, after all.

He held still, hovering in deliciously close proximity to his boyfriend's proudly attentive appendage. "Third verse is instrumental..." he offered in tempting explanation, the breath from his words flickering at the very tip of Callum's dick. "Much as I know the birthday boy loves my singin', I think he'll find this rendition just as pleasing..."

As Ben lowered his lips to encase all of Callum, he set about humming his way through a further verse of the ode, the reverberations of which had the birthday boy a shuddering wreck beneath him in next to no time at all.


	344. Chapter 342

## Unseen scene of 08/04/20

They'd kissed, then kissed some more, until their lips were swollen & chafed, & Ben could take it no longer. He leant back, quenching the thirst of his lips with a lick. "I'm parched: could murder a cup of tea babe..."

Callum moved, as if about to accept the request without question, but swiftly balked. "You seriously thinkin' I'm the one about to get out of bed to make the tea when I'm the birthday boy?" he questioned incredulously.

"Oh, come on now babe..." Ben sighed, fluttering puppy dog eyes at his man. "I did just give ya a birthday blowie, AND shared the spoils between us... "

"So that's my birthday treats over with, is it?" Callum tried his best to huff out an attempt at exasperation.  
"I dunno..." Ben countered back. "I might be tempted to give an encore later, if the mood takes me..."

Callum chuntered out his lack of satisfaction at this most recent turn of events, but offered no further argument, swinging his legs out from the bed, then rising to his feet. "Yeah well, it's just as well I'm in need of a visit to the little boys' room ain't it? Guess I can flick on the kettle on me way..." He snatched his dressing gown from its hook on the bedroom door & made an overly dramatic flounce from the room. 

Ben sniggered knowingly to himself, pleased with his own work, as he scurried out from the bed & after his man, just in time to view his reaction.

"Oh my..." Callum's spoken expression might have fallen into oblivion for Ben, but he'd observed the relenting of the man's shoulders, & the staggered falter in his step.

Ben sidled up behind his man, wrapping his arms around his waist, & reaching up on tiptoes to lean over his shoulder. "Hapoy birthday babe..."

Callum was all but stunned into silence at the sight before him. 'You've done this all for me?" he checked disbelievingly on an outward breath.

"All for you..." Ben swiftly clarified. "The Christmas & Valentine's we missed out on, in combination with the birthday we definitely ain't missin' out on..."

Callum gawped at the scene in front of him: the flat adorned with Christmas fairy lights & heart-shaped balloons: a teddy bear clutching a "be my Valentine?" emblem even nestled securely on the sofa as its centrepiece. 

As Callum continued to take in the vista, the silence grew unbearable for Ben: a sudden crisis of confidence ensuing. "It's too much, ain't it? I'm sorry..."

Callum turned slowly in his man's hold, revealing a fond smile & maybe even the glinting of tears in his eyes. "It's perfect, & you are perfect..." He backed up the assertion with a pecked kiss between them, then eased himself away. "Proper soft beneath it all, ain't ya?" he suggested, with an affectionate chuckle.

"Yeah, well..." Ben coughed his swift denial that he was anything but a hard man. "I don't go givin' my secrets away to just anyone, ya know..."

Callum beamed at the inference, already set fair on the feeling that this was his best birthday ever. "Soft..." he repeated adoringly, "but hard in all the places it matters, eh?"

"You better believe it baby," Ben grinned, surging forward for a messy kiss, then pulling back abruptly to search within his boyfriend's eyes. "So," he began intently, "are ya wantin' yer present now or later?"

Callum thought for a moment, as he slipped his hands to his boyfriend's waist. "Thought I 'ad me present just now in bed..."  
Ben flashed back a wicked smirk, pleased that his birthday-themed foreplay had gone down so well.

"Yeah, well..." he gave a scratch to the morning stubble on his chin. "It's just that when my over curious daughter asks you for details of every single present you got, I reckon there needs to be somethin' more wholesome to recount than a blow job from me, don't you?"

Callum near guffawed at the awkward thought of explaining that particular ritual to his boyfriend's little girl. "Well, when ya put it like that..."

Ben just smiled happily, pleased that his cover for wanting to shower his boyfriend with gifts hadn't been blown wide open by his excuse. "Present time it is then," he clapped his hands together decisively. "I'm gonna need a chair, a kettle & two mugs..."

"Eh?" Callum shook his head in a double take of bemusement. "What you on about?"  
"You forgotten what you came out 'ere for?" Ben tapped a finger lightly at his boyfriend's head. "I know your gettin' close to thirty babe, but it's still a bit early for memory loss, don't ya think?"

"Cheek of it..." Callum retorted, albeit light heartedly. "I still don't get what you need a chair, a kettle & two mugs for though..."

"Simple innit?" Ben returned in a tone that suggested utter clarity of thought in his own mind. "You need the kettle & mugs for that cup of tea you've been shamelessly puttin' off makin' for five minutes now..."

Callum huffed out his exasperation that particular task was still coming his way. "And dare I even ask about the chair?" he chuckled, somewhat nervously, as he set off in the direction of the kitchen.

"You'll see babe..." Ben sent a mischievous wink his boyfriend's way. "You'll see..."


	345. Chapter 343

## Unseen scene of 08/04/20

"Jesus, Ben: be careful will ya?" Callum was caught between providing a steadying hand to his boyfriend's legs, & trying to ascertain what in heaven's name was actually happening...

Having flicked down the switch on the kettle, the elder man had briefly stepped into the bathroom to relieve himself, emerging only moments later to find Ben had liberated a chair from its usual position at the dining table, & was now perching precariously atop it in the kitchen, reaching up on his tiptoes above one of the overhanging cabinets.

"What are y'even doin' up there?" Callum questioned helplessly, as he braced himself for potentially having to catch his toppling boyfriend at any second.

Ben though just walked his palm steadily along the top of the cupboards, evidently trying to locate something that was out of his vision, & potentially only just within reach. "Wouldn't resonate with you babe, but these are the lengths I 'ave to go to when hidin' presents from my lanky boyfriend..."

As he spoke, Ben's fingers managed to cling against the present he had wrapped, & hidden, the night before last.  
Callum scoffed out his disbelief. "Yeah, some present that would be: findin' my boyfriend had fallen from a ridiculous height..."  
"Oh now, come on..." Ben protested as he lowered the gift from its hidden position. "Where's ya sense of adventure babe?"

Callum shrugged, relieved to see his man had righted himself to something closer to standard vertical, if still aloft on a chair. "I could've just reached up there for ya in the first instance, if you'd asked..."

"Heightist..." Ben objected, clutching the item he'd retrieved close to his chest.   
"Says the man standin' on a chair..." Callum bickered back playfully. "In a stance that, let's face it, would be indecent if it was you in the dressin' gown instead of me..."

Ben glanced down at his own modesty-shielding attire of t-shirt & shorts. 'Or maybe it'd be decent..." he smirked, "dependin' on ya point of view & persuasion..."

Callum thought of his own current nakedness beneath the bathing robe he was wearing, & had to privately concur that his boyfriend had a point: he swallowed thickly. "Just a little less freeform climbing next time, yeah?" he chuckled, while offering out a steadying hand to guide his man down.

"So..." He then ventured casually, once Ben stood before him, with feet firmly renewed to terra firma. "You gonna hand over my present now?" He nodded expectantly in the direction of the article still held close to his boyfriend's person.

"Depends..." Ben shrugged, giving little away.  
"Depends on what, exactly?" Callum pressed in return.   
"On when exactly I'm gonna get my cup of tea..." Ben gave back, ever the tease. “Tea first; then yer present..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I can only imagine some of the scenarios you folk were thinking Ben might be planning with that chair - bet none of you guessed this one though did you?!
> 
> I am unapologetic for infusing this narrative with a bit of playful Ballum 😜


	346. Chapter 344

## Unseen scene of 08/04/20

Ben gently rested his weight back against the kitchen counter, & peered coyly across his mug of freshly poured tea, as he watched Callum settle himself into a chair pulled aside from the kitchen table, & place the wrapped parcel precisely into his lap.

They'd reached an amicable settlement, after a little more teasing & frivolity, whereby Callum had made the beverages, & Ben in return had released his gift.

"Ya know..." the younger man ventured to suggest. "It's so much easier if you open the present, instead of tryin' to guess what it is..." He deflected away from the doting smile that accompanied his words by pretending to blow against the heat of his tea. 

"I really weren't expectin' another present you know..." Callum traced a finger along the sellotaped centre of the gift. "Them runnin' shoes ya bought me was more than enough already..."

"Yeah, well..." Ben shuffled his weight from foot to foot, feeling a little bashful. "I saw this & thought of you, so I had to get it for ya..."

Callum smiled appreciatively at the generosity on show, then continued to assess the shape & form of the gift in his lap, which was soft, readily pliable & of relatively light weight. "I honestly ain't got the foggiest what this is ya know..." he admitted in breathy wonder.

"Once again babe," Ben rolled his eyes in affectionate ribbing while drumming a finger against the side of his mug. "The easiest way to find out what's in a present is to actually open it..."

"Alright, alright..." Callum surrendered to his boyfriend's impatience with an infectious grin. "I'm openin' it now, ok..."

Ben gave a nod of approval, watching through adoring eyes the man he'd happily wrap the moon & stars for if that was what he so desired. There was something so homely, so domesticated, in the sight of Callum unwrapping presents in his dressing gown that sent Ben's heart a flutter. 

He jolted himself away from such thoughts with a loud cough.

"You alright over there?" Callum glanced up in concern.  
"Bit of tea just went down the wrong way..." Ben tilted his mug in explanation, then set it down to one side. "Come on now babe: the suspense is killin' me..."  
"Yeah," the elder man chuckled out. "You do realise you already know what's in this, don't ya?"

A gentle silence formed between them, as Callum took his time in pulling at the wrapping paper, while Ben observed in fond gluttony.

"Oh Ben, it's too much..." Callum gasped on seeing the designer label within, even though his appreciating eyes were drawn to the sheer quality of the garment in his hands.

"British Racing Green..." Ben elucidated calmly. "The sexiest shade goin' in the motor trade, so when I saw it, I obviously thought of you..."

Callum carefully unfolded the long-sleeved shirt now so unexpectedly in his possession, watching as a piece of the shop-dressed tissue paper from within fluttered its way to the floor, then holding the pristinely presented article to his chest. "It's stunnin' Ben, but it's too much..." 

Any such forlorn protest was instantly disputed though. "Nothin' is too much for my man, & like I said, it's most definitely your colour..."

Callum flushed a delicate shade of crimson at the compliment, as Ben began to move across to him. "Just indulge me in dressin' my man up in a bit of finery, eh?" The younger man pleaded with the softest of smiles.

Callum held his hands out to his boyfriend to gather him in close. "Thank you," he gave his acceptance of the gift with earnest sincerity. "I'll wear it tonight..."

"Er no you won't..." Ben gently chided as he let himself be guided down to sit astride his man's lap. "I've seen the state of you when you eat Chinese takeaway remember? That shirt'd be spoilt with sweet & sour sauce within seconds..." He regarded his man's features closely now they were in such near proximity. “Save it for a special occasion…”

"Yeah, fair point..." Callum conceded on an outward breath of amusement that wisped against his boyfriend's face. “I'll go with somethin' a bit more casual for tonight..."

"Although," Ben grinned with apparent relish. "That's workin' on the assumption you actually get dressed today at all..." He fingered idly at the lapels of his man's gown. "Maybe I've got bigger plans for us than that..."

"Oh yeah?" Callum questioned jubilantly. "And what plans might they be Mr Mitchell?"  
"Well..." Ben mused out loud, as he let a finger burrow beneath the fabric of the gown to stroke at Callum's chest beneath. "Perhaps if you take me back to bed I'll be able to show ya… "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so let me explain: 
> 
> Fast forward to the canon scene of 11/05/20 ("Closer? Closer?" accompanied by some rather sultry neck kissing employed by Ben...) Callum is looking rather fetching in a green shirt, on which Ben compliments him - I like the idea that there's a little more to that compliment than meets the eye: Ben knew his man would look like a fox in that colour, plus is maybe charmed that Callum saved wearing this shirt for what is indeed a big occasion in his life 
> 
> I need to get out more, I know!


	347. Chapter 345

## Unseen scene of 08/04/20

"I am absolutely ravenous..." Callum proclaimed between mouthfuls of the spring roll in his hand.   
"Mmm," Ben hummed in contented agreement while he dipped a pork ball in the polystyrene carton holding sweet & sour sauce. "Worked up quite the appetite today, ain't we?"

Callum blushed freely at the reminder they had basically spent the entirety of his birthday in bed, & not because it was sleep they were catching up on. "Reckon I've 'ad more sex in one day than the precedin' twenty-eight-&-a-half years of me life..." He casually wiped the grease from his fingers on the towelling robe that had been his clothing of choice, when actually needed, all day.

Ben sat in quiet admiration of how open with their sex life his boyfriend had come in such a relatively short amount of time: he guessed that maybe Callum would think similar of him, in terms of his expression of feelings & emotions.

He nudged his bare foot playfully against Callum's calf: an easy manoeuvre given they were seated at opposite ends of the sofa, with legs & feet raised toward one another. "That's one I'll 'appily take the credit for," he smirked mischievously as their eyes met.

Callum grinned back with unabashed delight as they settled into an amicable silence of eating once more. The elder man, though, had something on his mind, so soon broke the reverie they fell into. "Weren't so very long ago we was sittin' 'ere eatin' a Chinese takeaway, & still tryin' to work out what we were..."

"Eh?" Ben, preoccupied by a prawn wonton, had heard only the vibrating mumble of his boyfriend's voice, not the actual words.  
Callum nodded a conciliatory apology, then tried again. "I was just rememberin' that time we sat 'ere eatin' a Chinese last October, when I was still tryin' to work out how we stood..."

Ben had concentrated carefully on the formation of every word from his man's mouth: sometimes he could second guess topics or sentences, but this wasn't one, so he wanted to be certain of getting the meaning right. "I weren't ever gonna be rushin' ya to take steps you weren't ready for Cal..." he admitted having finally ascertained the subject of conversation.

"Was probably the night it all started to fall into place for me, to be honest". Callum shrugged. "The night I finally realised this was all mine to have, if I made the move..."

Ben seemed captivated by the sentiment. "Reckon you always 'ad the moves babe," he beamed brightly. "Just needed someone to show you the way..."

Callum's own illuminating smile radiated back at the very thought, their eyes sparkling enchantment back to one another, until they finally relented & returned to their meals.

Until, at least, Ben had something on his mind that he wanted to voice too. He set his plate decisively to the floor, disregarding the majority of his meal as still untouched, & giving a throat-clearing cough. "That thing ya do with ya hands babe," he began to suggest bashfully. "Teach me will ya?"

Callum too expelled a small cough, although more in shock than anything. He placed his form deliberately to his plate. "What that thing where I..." he cut off from his words to mime an action.

"Nah, babe, not that!" Ben near choked in hilarity. "That's strictly for the bedroom only..." He softened his laugh to a smile to reinforce that particular skillset was their own little secret. "What I actually meant was that signing you did the other night. Teach me, will ya? How to sign that I love you, I mean..."

Callum's mouth dropped open. "Oh..." the realisation dawning on him of his miscomprehension. "Oh..." The tips of his ears burnt a bright red, as he elongated the word on his lips.  
Ben chuckled in delight at his boyfriend's faux pas, leaning forward to whisper a devilish promise. "You can teach me that other thing as well later though..."


	348. Chapter 346

## Unseen scene of 08/04/20

Ben signed the entirety of the phrase _I love you_ to Callum, having successfully been taught its composition, then chuckled knowingly as he gave an awkward scratch to his day's growth of stubble. "Said it out loud, & signed it t'ya now, so must be true..."

Callum beamed fondly, raising his arm to the back of the sofa, which he reached along to interlink a hand with his boyfriend's. "Best birthday ever, I reckon..."

Ben let his fingers play amongst those of his man while he absorbed the thought that much of making Callum's day so special had been down to himself: he wasn't accustomed to such genuinely warm receipt of his efforts. "Reckon Uncle Fester 'ad altogether bigger plans for ya birthday, mind..." he observed quietly, recollecting how Stuart had accosted him weeks before with plans for a party.

"Didn't want any of that though, did I?" Callum rejected with a secretive smile. "I've 'ad everythin' I could possibly want for right 'ere".  
Ben received that viewpoint with an appreciative beam, but was already mulling something else over in his head. "I'm sorry it took me so long: to say them words to ya, I mean..."

"What," Callum grinned mischievously. "The ones where ya said I could have the last bit of prawn toast?"  
Ben grave back an expression that was somehow facetious yet totally adoring. "Equal status to a Rolo for me babe..."

They melted into a moment of quiet, but Ben knew there was more still to say. "I mean it though Cal..." he stroked his thumb against his boyfriend's knuckles. "It took me an age, & I'm a fool for that..."

Callum's vision slid down to their linked fingers, then back upwards again. "Means so much more though: knowing ya said it because you meant it, instead of because you thought ya should say it..."

Ben looked deep into his man's eyes then, sensing something equally profound needed to be returned: the more he looked though, with those crystal ocean eyes looking back at him, only one thing came to mind. "Any clue how to sign _I wanna do you in a heartbeat_?" he grinned saucily.  
"Sadly not a clue..." Callum rejected with a chuckle. "So guess you'd 'ave to find another way of gettin' that message across..."

They stalled in the growing heat between them for a moment, before Ben steadily made the first move. "Yeah?" he questioned on a whispered breath, as he inched his way closer to his man.  
"Yeah," Callum concurred on a notably strained breath. "Must be some other way to get that message across..."

They both halted within proceedings again then, gazing into one another's eyes, while their breathing hitched dramatically. Neither of them understood who ultimately made the first move, but they suddenly surged into each other, wanting teeth to bite, scrape & tantalise against skin between kisses.

In little time, Callum found himself surrendered & on his back beneath Ben: one leg raised at the knee to securely accommodate his man within their clumsy stance. 

As their kiss stayed unrelenting, they each somehow found a route to gratification: Ben working a knee rhythmically into Callum's open frame, while his own growing arousal sought constant relief against his elder's raised limb.

Moans & growls began to fill the air, accompanied solely by the smack of lips, until another, altogether less welcome, sound filtered into their orbit: Ben sensing, rather than hearing it, from the instant tension transmitted through his boyfriend's body alone.

"Oh, you cannot be serious: can you pair not just get a bloody room..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That line about a Rolo might need explaining to some of my younger or international readers? Not sure...


	349. Chapter 347

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With all apologies for my tardiness in posting: the past week at work has been nuts...
> 
> Anyhow, this here chapter is literally hot off the press, so I might as well post it...

## Unseen scene of 08/04/20

"I mean..." Stuart reached into an overhead cupboard for a mug, that he then slammed roughly onto the kitchen counter. "I ain't bein' funny bruv, but right now I'm wishin' I'd tripped onto them scissors your _boyfriend_ left in the middle of the carpet the other night; just so me eyes 'ad been gauged out in the process & I wouldn't of been witness to..."

He trailed off from his tirade, struggling even for him to come out with a suitable expression. "That.. " he finally settled upon, with an accompanying flustered wave of both hands. 

Callum further tightened the dressing gown around his own waist, then sighed a little over-zealously: such dramatics ran in the family blood, clearly. "We really gonna 'ave this conversation bruv?" he sighed out on an elongated breath. "I mean, you really want me to start dissectin' the times I've walked in on you & Rainie.. " He coughed for added effect. "Makin' love..." The statement was of course completed with air quotation marks.

Stuart, meanwhile, furiously shovelled teaspoon upon teaspoon of hot chocolate mixture into the awaiting mug, leaving Callum to privately ponder whether it would be the boiling kettle or his brother that fully erupted first.

"Yeah, but..." Using the exact same spoon - Callum's bête noire - Stuart heaped in a spoonful of sugar to his vulgar cocktail. "Me & Rainie, what we've got, that's..." He stopped himself firmly in his tracks before he dared conclude his sentence with _normal_.

" Nah, go on, please..." Callum countered back irritably: being left high & dry in a state of arousal clearly not suiting him well. "You & Rainie, what you've got is, what, any more valid than me & Ben? Any more meaningful? Any more real?"

Stuart hastily flicked the switch on the kettle to prevent it from over-boiling. "Dìdn't mean to infer that..." he shrugged. "Just me & Rainie, we don't necessarily flaunt it..."

Callum stared agog as his elder brother poured the water into the over-sugared contents of the mug. "Didn't exactly ask you to walk in on us, did we?" he huffed in exasperation. "You really don't want me relayin' to Ben that's your idea of someone flautin' it, because you know what'll happen..."

Callum left his words of friendly warning to hang in the air, while he strode his way determinedly off in the direction of the bedroom &, more importantly, his waiting boyfriend.

"Hey, bruv..." Stuart's slightly repentant tone cut through the atmosphere just as Callum reached for the door handle. "'Appy birthday..."

"Yeah, cheers..." Callum accepted the falicitation, despite still feeling disgruntled, then stepped into the sanctuary of his bedroom, closing the door pointedly behind him.

"Guess that's the mood gone for tonight, then?" Ben observed wryly from his prone position on the bed: body tilted towards his man, with his head propped up against a hand raised by an elbow.

Callum though swiftly determined otherwise, a wicked smile filling his face as he stripped himself from the constraints of the gown on his back. "As if!" 

Within two barely extended strides he was with his man on the bed, already beginning to pull Ben atop him. "My birthday; my rules..."


	350. Chapter 348

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter references actual canon scenes of 13/04/20, in case anyone needs to jog their memory...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

Callum sat quietly, surveying the flat around him, as he tried to decipher the few hours that had just been.

They'd started simply enough: a last-minute pleading call from Stuart to assist with a complex bereavement. In spite of their most recent spats, Callum wasn't blind to his brother's needs, & he'd had time to kill, already knowing Ben would be working late.

So he'd acquiesced readily: agreeing to act as wingman to Stuart's undertaker in an unfortunate case, promising to just slip home into more suitable attire, then be at his brother's side.

Callum hadn't banked though on the unheralded arrival of one Philip Mitchell at his door, pronouncing his presence gruffly through the intercom, & leaving Callum in little doubt he expected an audience instantly.

Callum had, of course, complied, only to then realise himself to be in a state of unsuitable undress that required prompt intervention...Whether he'd truly thought through the repercussions of shielding himself within the confines of Rainie's carelessly-discarded kimono yet to be fully ascertained.

All Callum truly knew was that he'd felt a prize plum so elaborately adorned in the Mitchell patriarch's presence: suspecting he's given a greater eyeful than he'd ever intended be seen.

Somehow, miraculously, though, Callum had fumbled his way through the awkward exchange, even agreeing to a pint with his boyfriend's father later that evening.

Said drink had been uneventful enough, confirming little more to Callum than Phil's wilfully blind ignorance when it came to Ben's hearing loss. Apparently the solution to any & every problem being to throw money at it.

Still, Callum & Phil had rubbed along well enough as it happened, sustaining a whole drink without the conversation being overly stilted. It gave Callum the smallest of hopes that maybe he & Phil could co-exist for the sake of Ben...

He'd been caught in that daydream, lounging on the sofa, when the familiar homely trudging footfall of Ben arriving home had reached his consciousness. Leaning back against the arm of the sofa, with his own arm extended atop the length of it, Callum greeted his man. "Alright?"

Ben appeared to instantly deflate within the secure confines of the flat, shrugging himself from a coat that was overbearing & collapsing beside his boyfriend to sink into the crook of his waiting arm.

"What's new?" Ben initiated the conversation between them, while he melted deeper into his boyfriend's side.  
"Not a lot..." Callum easily assured. "Although ya Dad did just buy me a pint..." He observed the hitch of breath that prompted from his partner, but was instantly relieved to see that mood relent, as Ben let it wash over him.

"Yeah?" Ben arched his neck upwards to look his man in the eye: his interest piqued. "What brought that on?"

Callum shrugged, in the spirit of openness & honesty. "Ain't entirely sure..." A wry chuckle escaped his lips. "Maybe the sight of me in Rainie's kimono was too much to ignore..."

Ben stalled at that: examining his boyfriend's features closely, to establish whether he was making a joke or giving over some sort if truth: the flush in Callum's cheeks instantly gave him away. "You been makin' a seductive play for my Dad babe?" He teased with a wicked grin.   
Callum buried his head in his hands. "Don't alright? I'm mortified enough as it is..."

There were many, many questions Ben could have started to ask at that point; his brain working overtime to imagine just why, when & how his boyfriend had been dressed in a kimono. 

But he was struck most deliciously by the thought of just how good his boyfriend likely looked in said silk article. "Bet ya carried the look off like the hot fox y'are..." Ben merely offered his observation, planting a soft kiss to his man's forehead.  
Callum emerged shyly from his shame at that, returning a bashful smile.

"Now, I'm gonna get out of these work clothes..." Ben rose to his feet while he gave his explanation. "And then the evening's all ours, yeah?" He held his hand out to briefly brush fingers to Callum's.

"Yeah..." Callum agreed softly, letting his fingers linger amongst those of his boyfriend until they finally slipped from his reach.

And as he watched the rear view of Ben sauntering his way slowly to the bedroom - the shirt he was wearing giving definition to every sinew of muscle straining beneath - Callum decided it was probably best he didn't let his mind drift off on the tangent of just how hot Ben himself might look in said silken gown.


	351. Chapter 349

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

“Callum, babe..." Ben swooned as he wound his way partially out from behind the bedroom door. "Fancy a change to the advertised plans, & nippin' off to bed for an early night instead?" He planted a hand sturdily against the doorframe to await an answer.

Callum, mid fiddling with the television remote - an antidote to his previous thoughts - began to respond without looking. "Thought we'd watch a box set, I've got it..." He stopped himself with an internal chastisement that his boyfriend wouldn't possibly be able to lip read from such an angle., turning slowly to face him.

"Thought we'd get crackin' on a box set..." He reiterated his plans within the visual range of his man, without actually focusing himself. "I've got it all..." He stalled, swallowing thickly when he finally began to take the view of Ben in. "Good. To. Go..." he managed to finish his sentence somehow, despite an obvious distraction from the mere sight of his man alone.

Ben smiled gleefully, knowing he had his boyfriend where he wanted him: watching, & hanging on his every move. In a transition that was achingly slow, he lifted his left foot to the skirting of the door, & began to steadily hook his bare leg around & up it. "See anythin' ya fancy, babe?" he licked along his lips as he made his enticing enquiry.

Callum gulped down. Hard.

Ben grinned the smirk of someone who knew exactly the effect they were having. "You wanna see some more?" he questioned as a tease, still shielding half of his body on the far side of the doorframe, but pushing in close against it & expelling a wonton moan of gratifying bliss.

Callum nodded his eager agreement as he bit down involuntarily on his bottom lip.

Ben wasn't about to stand for such meekness though, demanding something more definitive from his man. "Didn't quite catch that babe: cat got yer tongue?"

Ben was in playful, salacious mood, so began to rub himself against the hard wood of the doorframe, lifting an arm to maximum extension for full effect, causing the garment in which he was adorned to slip teasingly from his shoulder. 

Lifting his visible leg to full horizontal, near balletically straight, against the wall, Ben asked his question again. "I said, d'ya wanna see some more?"


	352. Chapter 350

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

Callum gulped - hard - as he rose from the sofa & set a course in his boyfriend's direction. Ben had this uncanny knack of detecting a spark that was at best faint & distant in his psyche, then igniting it free before Callum himself could even fully realise what was happening.

Now was a case in point, as Ben stood shrouded in Rainie's floral kimono, truly looking a sight to behold.

"Yeah..." Callum cleared his throat at the realisation his first effort at speaking emerged as little beyond a squeak. "Yes, I wanna see more..."

Ben smiled wickedly as he pointed the toes of his raised foot. "Well all ya had to do was say baby..." With seemingly all the time in the world, he lowered his raised leg back to vertical, then sauntered the remainder of his body around the doorframe until fully visible. 

Draping his weight until leant seductively against the wall, Ben placed a hand to the silk belt tied loosely about his waist, then stalled to look his man firm in the eye. "What say you now, handsome? Wanna see more, or is this enough for ya?"

Callum swallowed thickly against his parched throat, suddenly feeling the weighted expectation of his man's gaze, even though he himself wasn't the one putting on a show. "More...please..." he coughed out his response, never once forgetting his manners.

Ben acquiesced to the request readily, tugging at the gathered knot of the gown to let it drape loose, revealing a bare chest & the tightest pair of figure-hugging boxers he owned. 

"Oh my..." Callum couldn't help but sigh at the sight, as he again swallowed thickly, transfixed by the outline of his man's early arousal, contained within painfully tight shorts.

Ben was in jubilantly boisterous mood, determined to play with the scene his boyfriend had so unwittingly set. "It gettin' hot in 'ere babe?" he enquired teasingly, loosely fanning himself down with a hand. "Or is it just me?"

"It ain't just you," Callum hurried out in response, instantly keen to rid himself of some clothes. He unbuttoned the shirt from his own back & threw it recklessly behind him.

"Oh baby..." Ben greeted the offering with obvious glee. "I do love it when you get all masterful & urgent on me..." In an accentuated alluring manner, he then slid his way back into the bedroom, peering his head back around the wall just before he fully vanished from view. "You comin' with, or..."

Callum didn't need asking once, let alone twice...


	353. Chapter 351

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each & every individual who got involved in "chairgate" from a few chapters ago is utterly accountable for what takes place over the coming unseen scenes...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

"Care to join?" Ben voiced his lust-filled question once his boyfriend had staggered, somewhat unceremoniously, into the bedroom after him: Callum in the heat of a promise could be on the side of clumsy after all.

The elder man gathered his wits together to look in the direction Ben had spoken from, & was instantly perplexed by the sight. "When did ya?"  
"You really interested in unimportant details like that right now babe?" Ben cut his man off mid flow; an air of disapproval rife in his voice.

"Didn't say that..." Callum disputed with a shake of his head. "Just tryin' to keep up with your games...."  
"Glad to hear it..." the younger man smiled seductively with a flutter of his eyelashes. "...On both parts..."

Unbeknown to Callum, Ben had smuggled a dining chair into the bedroom - a retaliation for his boyfriend failing to instantly notice how he'd dressed for him - & was now sat astride said chair back-to-front, side-on to his man's view, luxuriating sumptuously along the top of it to gaze across at him.

"So, I say again," Ben cooed out, lifting his left leg to horizontal so the gown shielding his upper thigh could ride upwards just a tad. "You wanna join, or..."

Callum shoved the door firmly shut behind them, & gave his willing consent as he set himself in the direction of the enticement on offer. "Yeah..." he managed to fumble out. "Yeah, I wanna join..."  
"Oh baby..." Ben greeted the acceptance of his invitation with a breathless gasp, rising to his feet to welcome in his man. 

Neither of them waited a second for air, stuttering recklessly into one another for a feral kiss that skipped any pleasantries, instead immediately all tongues & teeth.

Callum clutched his man in close, desperate to instantly combine as one, while Ben mewled out his agreement with proceedings. They kissed, messily & hungrily, until the taller man's hands dared to roam to the shoulders of the kimono, trying to slip it from his boyfriend's frame.

Ben, though, halted matters immediately to deliver a stern glare. "One rule tonight baby..." he drawled out effortlessly. "And one rule only..."

Acting the tease he undoubtedly was, he eased away from their clinch, raising one foot to rest against the newly-vacated chair. "The kimono stays on...' he elaborated in what were intentionally emphasised words.

Callum felt his own tongue lap outwards from his lips before he even had chance to stop it: the vision before him near too much to take, as the uplifting of his boyfriend's leg gave ready exposure to both inner thigh & ever-blooming arousal, even though it remained shielded.  
"Oh god," he let the exclamation escape without a moment's hesitation. "I am so in..."

Ben smiled back - wickedly, enticingly, commandingly - in return. (Take your pick, Callum would take any of them, or all three in combination). "That's what I'm hopin' baby..."


	354. Chapter 352

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably little surprise to hear, given the past few chapters, that the boys are starting to get a bit frisky here...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

"Thought this was a chair destined for two?" Callum complained, having been enticed to take a seat, only to find his boyfriend wasn't planning to follow through & join him.  
Ben grinned lasciviously in return. "And I thought you were the one in this relationship with a bit of patience..."

Callum tried to grumble out his dissatisfaction with proceedings, only to be silenced by the swift press of his man's forefinger against his lips.  
"Do I need to gag you to keep you quiet, Mr Highway?" Ben sing-song enquired, freeing the silk belt around his own midriff to loosely twirl one end around.

Callum's eyebrows quirked notably at the suggestion - with surprise mostly, but an underlying tinge of something more intrigued - before he set upon his response, lapping his tongue to the finger still firm at his lips until it permitted itself to be enveloped by his mouth.

Ben keened at his boyfriend's enthusiasm because, he'd admit it, he wasn't sure if this was the beginnings of a role play a step too far. Callum seemed to be growing in confidence with it though, so who was Ben to ignore his man's wishes. "Oh, baby..." he exhaled on a low thronging breath. "I reckon we can both agree a gag won't be needed if you're gonna keep pleasin' me like this..."

Callum let out a soft hum of agreement, that he knew capable of transmitting to his partner against his finger, upping the stakes just a little by bobbing his head in a powerful sucking motion against the digit.

Ben was instantly sent by the seduction of the scene: appreciative of the foreshadowing of what might be to come. Way more than that though, he loved the foreplay between them: an active enticement of two kindred souls.

Absorbed in that spirit, he let out a shaky praise to any god that might be listening, while raising his bare foot to the chair on which Callum was seated, nudging first between the man's knees, & then his thighs, until his toes finally met their prize of his boyfriend's crotch, at which they began to agitate insistently. 

Ben had thought himself to have the upper hand then, only to be effortlessly undone by his man's thighs parting to their widest spread in invitation for more gratification. He acquiesced, grinding the base of his heel firm at his man's denim-clothed arousal in no time, while Callum responded in kind by grazing the blunt edges of his teeth along Ben's already sodden & swollen finger. 

Promises were already being silently exchanged for a night like they'd never had before.


	355. Chapter 353

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild shenanigans here only...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

If Ben thought he had his man cornered this time, though, he was mistaken, as an idle hand belonging to Callum crept its way to his younger's calf, which was still flexing & straining in its raised position, beginning to caress long, lingering strokes against it.

Ben near combusted at the touch: something in the firmness of his boyfriend's palm bristling the hairs on his leg to full attention, a more lavish & attentive detail than he'd ever known or been treated to before. So he mustered the only reasonable action a man in his position could, seizing his finger from Callum's enticing mouth, to instead locate a hand to the skirt of the gown in which he himself was shrouded, slowly tugging the hem upwards of his thigh.

Callum watched on with eager, smitten eyes, while his hand persisted at his man's calf, & his own erection grew more pronounced from the continuing attention to which it was being treated. 

Ben was teasing & tantalising to provoke a reaction they both already knew would come: Callum's tongue darting out in euphoria at the sight to behold.

The elder man lunged swiftly in the end: knocking Ben's planted foot from the chair in one deft action once the temptation became too much to bear; instantly reaching out to steady his man from tumbling, then pulling him in to land heavily, knelt atop his lap.

"Hey..." Ben was apparently unperturbed by such an undignified landing; enjoying the burst of pleasure from that increased contact between their lower halves.  
"Hey yaself..." Callum grinned back playfully. "Look at you: all dressed up for me..."

If they both didn't know better, they'd say Ben all but blushed at that particular compliment. "For you, & only ever for you, baby..." he hoarsely confirmed, then leant forward for a kiss to silence any further chat on the matter.


	356. Chapter 354

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of sexy naughtiness going on in this chapter, but all on the inoffensive side I think...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

It wasn't long before fingers & hands fumbled their way into the interplay: eager to claim touches & glances to skin wherever they could. 

Ben's lithe digits settled upon tickling a path against his boyfriend's naked breastbone; while Callum's supple fingers were soon bunching up the excess silk train of the kimono to slip delicately under the elastic of Ben's boxers, beginning to coax inconspicuously at the soft texture that puckered there between his cheeks.

They murmured filthy, low tones into one another's mouths all the while, in gratification for what the other was doing.

Callum eased back from their clinch at some point, determined his man should see clearly every word he was about to utter. "You look fuckin' sensational, ya know..."

Ben visibly beamed at just how effusive the comment was. "Always aim to please, me..." he greeted the sentiment with a flirtatious grin, then sank his head to sucker against one of his boyfriend's nipples.  
"Jesus, Ben..." Callum all but convulsed at the unexpected, yet equally divine, assault. 

That involuntary reflex alone though was enough to halt the younger man firmly in his tracks. "Am I comin' on too strong?" he questioned fervently, a look of earnest concern in his expression that he might have just overstepped the mark.

There wasn't anything in the physical sense they hadn't partaken in before, but Ben knew he'd introduced a frisson of something new: something altogether more provocative. This wasn't everyone's bag, & if that was so for Callum, he'd stop it in a heartbeat. 

"Nah, that ain't it..." Callum pecked a rushed reassurance to his beau's lips, then withdrew again to ensure his words could be seen. "No," he delivered more insistently this time. "All I'm tryin' to say is if you don't let me loose from these jeans pronto, I'm gonna be one mighty embarrassment to ya..." He was bashful at his own meaning, watching as Ben took a moment to survey the wider scene, suddenly realising just how much his man was straining at the seams.

Callum brushed his free hand along Ben's jaw to attract the man's attention back to their impromptu exchange. "Ain't ever been more turned on in me life, & it's all you, doin' that for me..."  
"Yeah..." Ben choked out in breathless agreement, surprised at just how affected he found himself to be. "Yeah, you to me, too..." he somehow managed to reciprocate the sentiment. "You to me, too..."

They exchanged a silent, almost shy smile between them then, before Callum brought them back urgently to his predicament. "So ya gonna let me outta these jeans, or..."

Ben smirked wickedly, giving a lick to his lips. "Time to unleash the beast I say babe..." He dropped his fingers to the zip of his man's jeans, & began to slowly slide it down, while Callum gave a roll of the eyes in mock disapproval of the antics at play, even if he did secretly adore every single one of them.


	357. Chapter 355

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If of a sensitive nature, do please heed the warning that this chapter sets a tone of filth from its very start...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

Ben gasped audibly at the sight of Callum's already drooling cock springing free from its restraining confines: he wasn't sure he'd ever cease to be mesmerised by the sight, to be honest.

He salaciously licked his lips, in a movement that was deliberately protracted, while he gazed in awe. "Ain't ever gonna tire of seein' that mighty fine specimen babe..." he hoarsely admired: besotted & instantly yearning for more. 

Callum flicked a finger to his boyfriend's chin in suggestion that he might draw his eager gaze away. "Ain't no-one else could get me so hard..." he admitted with a soft smile. "It has always been you, Ben Mitchell, & always will be..."  
"Mmmm..." Ben hummed out his considered appreciation, then leant brusquely forward into his boyfriend's lap to whisper at his ear. "Bet I can get you harder still yet..." 

He delivered his suggestion in a tone so authoritative that nothing in his conviction could be questioned. Having nibbled at the fleshy part of Callum's lobe, he insistently nudged his nose at the man's stubble. "You _up_ for that baby?" he questioned, adding emphasis in all the right places.  
Callum's tongue darted out to quench at suddenly dry lips, & that was all the signal Ben needed to know his man was on-side with his play. 

"You gonna sit quiet here for me then?" He began to wriggle & writhe his way from his boyfriend's lap. "All passive, just givin' me them gorgeous undress me eyes, while I put on a bit of a show..." Ben wasn't actually expecting or wanting an answer, as he temporarily manoeuvred himself away, but by god he got one when he turned to look back at his man...

With his boyfriend's seducing eyes set firmly upon him, Callum slowly, deliberately, lifted his arms, then tucked them behind the back of the chair, & loosely linked his hands together.

At that moment, quite frankly, both men lost sight of who exactly was putting on the show for the other.


	358. Chapter 356

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I a) have no idea where any of this comes from, & b) what this is, but here it is, so...
> 
> Once again, a warning of smut for those who are offended...
> 
> Oh, & I do know kind of what this is, in that the song Ben is humming is 100% real, & I think very much true to Ben's sensibilities, in a left-field kind of way.
> 
> Whether what's actually written makes any sort of sense is beyond me, but I'm going with it, & even drop an odd hint as to the form of Ben's song along the way. In short, I'm posting this chapter before I talk myself out of it & hit delete for a total rewrite...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

Ben slipped the silk gown down from one of his shoulders, as he swayed his hips seductively in time to the tune he was gently humming, glancing the garment back upwards again as he repeated the melodic refrain.

He then did the same again: only this time teasing the gown from his other shoulder, & sneaking a glimpse back across it to Callum as he did. 

The elder man, Ben was glad to note, was still in the chair, with arms still self-constrained behind his back, & apparently riveted by the beginnings of the show playing out before him.  
Ben allowed himself a smirk of self-approval, then returned his gaze to full frontal, facing directly away from his man, to continue his tease.

He hummed out a continuation of his simplistic, yet acutely in tune verse; upping the ante this time by raising a leg to the bed beside him, & sliding the skirt of the gown revealingly upwards along his thigh.

Just as before, he then repeated the action with the opposing leg: his actions accompanied as ever by the same mesmerising tune.

Callum fidgeted within his seat, a little affected by the foreplay out of reach in front of him, & slightly dissatisfied with the restrictions of his viewpoint.  
As if on cue, Ben seemed to respond to his boyfriend's ill-ease, traversing round with accomplished ease to face Callum instead, greeting their renewed visual contact with an enticing smile.

He didn't linger in the moment, though; instead beginning to take measured steps in the direction of his man, accompanied by a change in the melody he was so effortlessly humming. 

There was greater range within his vocal now, giving the sense he was giving an instrumental performance of something more associated with words: the fall of each of his steps perfectly in time with the rhythm.

Callum wished he recognised the tune, but alas couldn't place it: he sensed it wasn't something just made up on the spur of the moment though.

As Ben reached his man, he looked set to swan his way straight past him, only to deftly plant a palm to his shoulder at the very last second. As he continued the hummed delivery of his jazzy soundtrack, he sidled his way around the back of the chair, drawing his hand along the contours of Callum's neckline as he moved.

With a pronounced flourish, he completed the latest instalment of his tune just as he finished rounding the chair, drawing his hand away from Callum with marked flamboyance. Returning his vocal to the more measured range at which it had started, Ben sashayed his way back to his opening position on pointed, near balletic toes: Callum by now sensing that this was an all-encompassing performance, delivering on verse & chorus in distinct sections.

Ben set into his more static rhythm of before: swaying his hips with leisurely ease in time to his own accompaniment as he again provocatively teased the sliding of the gown from his shoulders.

He stopped short of so doing again though, instead favouring an upturn in pitch to the harmony he'd already delivered once before, accompanied this time by an impressive twirl on his bare feet that turned him to look straight at his man. Continuing his sultry act, Ben watched Callum through fervent, daring eyes, while trawling a spread hand flat down the length of his own chest, then torso, then groin, as he perpetuated his own musical soundtrack. 

He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he observed the involuntary surge from Callum's until then perfectly sedentary body at the sight of Ben cupping himself through his shorts: So he loitered there for a while, even repeating the hum of an entire verse, & palming at his own shielded arousal, just to gratify his boyfriend & see the effect of the action upon him.

He could see the inner struggle within Callum fighting to emerge; could sense the tensing in his upper-arm muscles as he so obviously fought for the self-restraint to keep himself contained.

Ben knew he had his audience exactly where he wanted him, so pressed on with his tease, making an elaborate play at his own sense of loss at the removal of his own hand from his arousal.

Hooking fingers from both hands at the elastic of his shorts, he stalled, returning to the seductive swaying of his hips, as always familiarly accompanied by the chorus line of his by now signature tune, but this time soon merging direct into what they both now recognised to be a verse.

Ben slowly leant his weight forward, to double over himself, discreetly downward tugging the material of his shorts, while distracting Callum still with his near hypnotic tune. 

As he then reached the latest demonstrative conclusion of the verse, Ben rose back to vertical rapidly, stripping the shorts from his waist as he went, to at last set his own eager appendage free. He kicked the discarded underwear clear of his feet with a pair of high kicks at the denouement of his hummed song, then slowed himself & the mood, by gathering the gown around his waist, & tying the loosest of bows in its belt.

He'd lost himself somewhere among the artistry & liberating freedom of performance though; only noticing now, as his gaze slid seductively back to Callum, that the man had abandoned all notion of self-restraint & was pleasing himself at the rhythm of Ben’s recital.

Ben gulped down - hard - recognising the need for swift action if there was to be any hope either of them would last long enough for the curtain call.


	359. Chapter 357

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naughty boys getting a bit frisky in this chapter, & Ben drops a strong hint as to the tune he was humming, but then you only know it, if you know it...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

A wolf whistle rippled through the air as Ben sought to promptly catch his man's attention. "Gettin' goin' without me, are ya?" he winked playfully once Callum's full attention was upon him.

Callum held firm - in both appendage & stature - to clearly refute the claim. "Gettin' goin' _ because_ of you..." he corrected boldly. "You any idea what that sort of show does to me?"

Ben grinned widely at the connotation. "Could send the exact same question back at ya babe: you any idea what it does to a man, seeing ya take yerself in hand, with kecks draped around yer ankles?"

They both paused from rejoicing in the vision of one another then, each taking in their own state of undress & the scenario they were embroiled in.

A blush that had been notably absent before crept across Callum's bare skin, while Ben felt suddenly overdressed, chewing down upon his lip in silent apology.

"For God's sake..." Callum began to command out of nowhere. "Just get 'ere onto me lap will ya, before we cause each other any more embarrassment..."

Ben wasted no time in adhering to the instruction: releasing the knot of the belt of the kimono & surging in the direction of his boyfriend. Within seconds he was sunk heavily onto Callum's lap, & instigating a fierce kiss between them.

Callum plunged into their connection with equal enthusiasm, probing his tongue into his boyfriend's mouth, while Ben rubbed up against him.

Creeping large hands delicately beneath the gown, Callum planted them firmly at Ben's hips pulling him into even closer contact. "That tune you was hummin'," he drew back from their kiss to ask. "What was it?"

Ben needed a moment to review the form of the question before he could answer it. Shuffling his weight back a little, he returned his own enquiry. "We really havin' that chat right now?" As if to prove his point, he placed a fist to Callum's dick, & began to apply a twisting pressure. "When we should be gettin' all hot & heavy..."

Callum let out a shuddered breath at the contact, but was determined to have his way & not be distracted. "Just humour me, yeah: I wanna know the song my hot man was performin' just for me..."

"Yeah?" Ben was a little taken aback, but swiftly regained his equilibrium to manipulate the situation to his own advantage. "And what exactly would ya do to get that information from me?"" He suggestively quirked an eyebrow. "Officer Highway?"

Callum's instantaneous response was one of frustration at his boyfriend's antics, but for once he decided to play him at his own game. "Well, Mr Mitchell, in return for your cooperation, I'm sure I could be equally generous..."

"Ah..." Ben smirked in rife satisfaction. "Some might already say how _generous_ you are, Officer Highway..." He accompanied his praise with a wring of his hand at his man's arousal, then giving a fleeting glance across its head with his ring.

"Tell me..." Callum ground out his insistence, in spite of the surge of want & need coursing through his veins at Ben's touch. "I wanna know..."

"Mmmm..." Ben mock-considered the request, drawing the pad of his thumb along the tip of his man's cock at a tortuous, slow pace.  
"Ben, c'mon, please..." Callum implored shakily. "Let me in on this secret & I'll do anythin' ya want..." 

Ben's hand stalled mid motion. "Anythin'?" he checked his man's meaning.  
"Anything". Callum agreed with an earnest nod.

Ben grinned merrily, as he reinstated the motion of his hand. "Just so 'appens I like the sound of anythin', so I'll let ya have your way this once, Officer Highway..." He wriggled his weight within his man's lap, then heavily ran the nailed tip of his thumb against the head of his boyfriend's dick as he sank his mouth to Callum's ear & began to sing-song whisper against it. 

"My first rule of thumb..." He placed a notable emphasis on the final word while his own thumb continued to work Callum over.  
"I don't say where I'm going  
Or where I'm coming from..."  
Writhing down hard into Callum's lap, Ben continued with his recital  
"I try to leave a little reputation behind me  
So if you really need to  
You'll know how to find me"

"I don't recognise it," Callum lamented, just as Ben withdrew his hand, & instead began to unhitch the belt from his gown. "You ain't made that song up on the spur of the moment, so where's it from?"

"Now now, Officer Highway..." Ben hushed any further chat between them with a shake of his head. "That's classified information, & on a strictly need-to-know basis..."

Sauntering his weight up from his man's lap, Ben whipped the gown's belt free with a snap of his wrist, then slowly gathered the silk material up within his hands. 

He looked his boyfriend seductively in the eye while he agitated the soft material in his hands. "And right now, the only thing I need to know is if you'll make good on your promise of doin’ anythin' I want..."


	360. Chapter 358

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

Callum had little giveaways & tells when he was nervous, all of which Ben knew well enough to recognise his boyfriend was giving off way too many of them at this precise moment:

The outward peeking tongue set tight between the man's reddened lips; the slight furrow of concentration in his brow; the change in tempo of his breathing; the suddenly apparent fidgeting within his seat.

Unravelling the silk tie from within his hands, Ben stepped back from his provocative, highly sexualised alter ego, to reassure his man with a soft, kindly smile. "Relax babe: no matter what the game play, anythin' that happens will only ever be with your absolute consent..."

Laying the gown's belt across his boyfriend's lap, Ben knelt down before him, & placed gentle hands atop his thighs, which he began to stroke rhythmically along. "We don't hav'ta take this anywhere you ain't completely comfortable with..."

The two men locked gazes, intent on finding answers hidden within, until Callum cleared his throat & tentatively spoke. "It ain't that I don't want this...I mean, I...I thought I wanted this, but..."

Ben nodded sagely, then dipped his head to scatter dainty kisses where his palms had already soothed. "Forget this even 'appened, yeah? Let's go back to where we were..."

Callum wasn't satisfied by that concession though, even as he enjoyed the gentle graze of his boyfriend's stubble against the softness of his skin. He paused his man mid-motion by clutching fingers to his chin, & drawing his attention upwards. "Don't wanna forget it..." The elder man confessed hoarsely. "Just not quite ready yet..."

Ben marvelled, yet again, at the emotional honesty laid bare by his man, so instantly went with it. "Never a bother babe: we can mix things up to something we're both completely comfortable with..." Peppering a few last delicate kisses to his boyfriend's inner thigh, he rose back to his feet, slipping the silk belt upward with him as he went.

In a manoeuvre that was determined, yet unquestionably measured, he repositioned himself astride Callum's lap, then whispered his suggestive words. "Remember 12th December..."

As he spoke, he looped the belt across his man's broad, muscular shoulders, bringing either end to meet at his chest. "You, me, & a red silk tie..." He continued to explain, while he bound the beginnings of a knot in the material now resting across Callum's collarbone.

Satisfied with his handiwork, Ben teased his lips to those of his partner, then whispered a smooth prophecy against them. "Reckon I'll 'ave a use for them big hands of yours soon enough anyway, so why would I wanna waste either of our time by tyin' 'em up..."


	361. Chapter 359

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am willing to bet nobody's seen the turn of direction this chapter takes partway through coming...

## Unseen scene of 13/04/20

It took them little time at all to regain their instinctive rhythm: tongues melding together mid kiss; fingers leaving lingering dents upon skin; waists working to a tempo as one. 

There was an unspoken sense they were reclaiming the scenario for their own: finally freeing themselves from the shackles of not-so-distant events.

Ben couldn't resist the building smirk across his features, as he felt his boyfriend's hands beginning to scuttle beneath the underside of the gown in which he was still adorned: exploratory fingers starting to nestle, & threatening to settle deeper still.

With the pronounced effort of barely disconnecting their kiss from further than was strictly necessary, he delved into a hidden pocket of the kimono, then held up the container of lube he had retrieved for his man to see. "Guess you'll be wantin' this then babe..." He delivered deadpan, with a suggestive wink.

\- - -

"I am tellin' ya, treacle, head-to-head Mutley would take Wile E Coyote down any day of the week. And that..." Stuart raised a hand triumphantly as he discarded his keys to one side. "Is the end of the matter".

"Er," Rainie scuttled in close behind.as they emerged into the flat following an evening in the pub. "Number one: how can we still possibly be havin' this debate a whole hour after it started, & b) since when exactly have I been yours, or anybody's, treacle?"

"Oh, come on now my angel..." Stuart swayed a little unsteady on his feet as he turned to face his girlfriend. "You are my treacle, ain't ya?" He grinned infectiously. "Sticky, sweet, & oh so sumptuous..."

"Mmm..." Rainie, similarly a little worse for wear under the influence of one too many, sidled up to her man. "Could be describin' yaself there, to be fair..."

"Yeah?" Stuart beamed while he snuck a kiss between them. "In that case, you fancy settlin' this somewhere a little more comfortable treacle?"

Rainie didn't need prompting twice, surging a demanding kiss between them, all-the-while spinning their combined union until she had her back to the bedroom, & was being directed firmly toward it.

"I'll take that as a yes then!" Stuart grinned manically into their fumbled kiss as he continued to demonstratively push his girlfriend in the direction of their room.

He stopped dead in his tracks though when something caught the corner of his eye, causing him to retreat from their passion promptly. "Oh for fuck's sake no..." He exhaled in high-frenzied disdain. "Not again..."


End file.
